Smiling Friends (2020) s03e01 Episode Script
Silly Samuel
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Oh, hey, boys!
-Hello.
-Hey. What's up, man?
I just got a call from a crazy
character named Silly Samuel.
I forgot exactly
what his problem was
because he was so silly,
but he's waiting for you guys
at 123 Wacky Way.
Ooh! That sounds fun!
I love silly characters.
Me too, Pim! Me too!
Totally off-topic, Mr. Boss,
but I'm just curious,
have you ever, like, messed up
doing that knife thing before?
Nope, and I can go
even quicker than this.
-You really don't have to.
-No, yeah, it's fine, really.
-We can go on the job now.
-I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
-(SCREAMS)
-(BUILDING RUMBLING)
All right, this is it.
123 Wacky Way.
-(GUNSHOTS)
-Pim, there's no way
this is right.
-(SIRENS WAILING)
-I guess it's kind of wacky.
Hey! Get off my property!
Oh, sorry. Um..
You wouldn't happen to be
Silly Samuel, would you?
Yeah, no shit.
Who else would I be?
Who are you?
Dude, we're the Smiling Friends.
You literally just called us.
Oh, yeah, I forgot! Oh!
Fuck!
I gotta go make breakfast. Shit.
-(SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING)
-(HONKING)
-(SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING)
-(SAUSAGE THUDS)
(LAUGHS) That was funny.
(GRUNTS, COUGHS)
I'm not trying to be funny,
dude, okay?
This is the exact reason
I called you guys!
No one takes me seriously!
For some reason,
everybody just laughs at me
for being myself.
I've lost all my friends,
I can't keep a job,
I'm eating silly sausages off
the hood of my shitbox Corolla.
-Please help me!
-Oh, don't worry, Silly Samuel.
By the end of the day,
we'll have you smiling again.
I mean, dude, if you want
to be taken seriously,
I feel like there's, like,
a really obvious solution here.
What do you mean?
The-- Your look!
Your entire look. Your name.
Your name is Silly Samuel.
You have a cuckoo clock
for a hat.
Like, have you ever thought
that maybe that's why
people don't take you seriously?
Oh.
I never thought about that.
Well, look, as funny as you are,
maybe that's the first place
we can start.
Sweet. Yeah, no
I guess we could try that.
We could take my car.
(EXPLOSION)
I'm bored.
(ALLAN RED HUMMING)
-What is up, Allan?
-I'm cleaning.
Yo, let's do something, man!
Let's go for a drive
or something!
No, thank you.
-Why don't you ask Glep?
-Oh, he's taking a nap.
Yeah, I tried to poke at him,
wake him up.
Little son of a bitch snapped up
and bit me on my hand.
Caught me good too.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(GUEST GRUNTS)
Hello.
I'm with the city and I'm here
for a random inspection.
Uh, for what?
It's a standard
random inspection
just to make sure
the building is all up to code.
It'll only take a moment.
Cool! Can you give me a sec?
-(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Allan, we are so fucked.
Why?
I built this office 30 years ago
without any permission
from the city
and used cheap laborers from
the Enchanted Forest to do it.
This building is a fucking mess.
It violates every code
in the books.
You really thought it was legal
to build a giant
yellow smiley face
between two buildings?
-I don't know.
-Do you realize?
Do you realize something?
If we fail this inspection,
we could lose our office
and we'd have to move out of it?
-No.
-Don't worry, Allan.
Your favorite boss has
a little trick up his sleeve.
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
-Come on in!
Oh!
Thank you, darling.
(PATIENT GRUNTING)
Don't worry, this is the best
doctor in the whole land.
He'll be able to look at your
situation and see what to do.
(SIGHS) There's nothing
we can do here, guys,
I gotta be honest with you.
-What?
-Yeah, we ran a lot of tests
and unfortunately
there's just nothing
we can do
to change your appearance.
Um, for example,
see this right here?
You have what I would call
a major artery.
Starts right here
around the crab claw.
Yeah, look right here.
Goes all the way up
through your cheese body,
straight up to the cuckoo clock
on top of your head. See that?
So, if we tried to modify
your body in any way,
you would die instantly.
(SCOFFS) Great! Awesome!
Another win for Silly Samuel!
(SCREAMS)
Okay, could we at least,
like, put clothes on top,
like, over his skin,
like, whatever that is?
-Just, like, on top of it?
-No, absolutely not.
He actually breathes
through the silly skin here,
so any kind
of clothing will kill him.
Okay, well I guess
I'm all out of ideas then.
I-- You're just stuck looking
silly, dude. I'm sorry, man.
Hmm. Well, if we can't change
the way you look,
why don't you try to embrace
your silliness?
Huh! Okay.
Let me think about it.
Oh, "embrace my silly--"
No, how about go fuck--
Fuck you, man!
Fuck you, man!
There's nothing silly about me!
-(CUCKOO CLOCK CUCKOOS)
-(DOCTOR GRUNTS)
Oh my God. Dude, are you okay?
What the fuck? No, I'm not okay.
Get the fuck out of my office.
-Dude, I think
that was an accident.
-Get out!
-We'll go, we'll go.
-Security!
-No, no!
-No need to call security!
-Janet, call security!
-Okay, okay.
-We're going. It's all right.
-We're leaving. We get it.
-(GUESTS SCREAMING, LAUGHING)
-(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
All right, Silly Samuel.
This group is called
the Three Weird Willies.
They've made a whole career
out of being strange and silly.
Maybe they can inspire you
to do something similar.
(MUMBLING)
Yeah, maybe I should try that.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
the Three Weird Willies!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-We love you Weird Willies!
Hi, I'm Weird Willy One.
I'm the alpha of the group.
-And we are the Weird Willies!
-And we are the Weird Willies!
-(SILLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(GROANS)
Okay, we need a volunteer
from the audience
to complete our trick.
(OVERLAPPING CHEERING, SHOUTING)
How about you? You look weird.
-Doesn't he look weird, kiddies?
-CROWD: Yeah!
(SCREAMS)
You just dislocated my arm!
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
-I said get off me!
-(CROWD GASPS)
(WEIRD WILLIES SHOUTING)
(CROWD SCREAMING, SHOUTING)
(GROANING, MOANING)
I'll just check
the walls to make sure
they're the proper
wall material, yes.
I don't know what that is.
(FAUCET RUMBLING)
Oh, yeah, that
that's Allan's red juice.
INSPECTOR: Hmm.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CREATURES SNARLING)
(SHOUTING, GROWLING)
Hmm. Interesting.
All right,
time to execute my trick.
No, mis-- Whoa.
Mr. Boss, what are you doing?
-I'm saving my building, Allan!
-No, Mr. Boss
(EERIE MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
Great! I guess no one will
ever take me seriously. Ever.
Awesome! Great! Awesome!
(HONKS)
Yo, dude,
I really hate to ask this,
I seriously do, but I'm starting
to crash kind of hard right now,
just 'cause we've been
walking around
and I haven't gotten
food all day.
If if with full due respect
to you, uh, sir,
if you could just make me
literally one more
silly sausage,
I'd be so I'd be--
that would be enough
to get me 'til dinner.
What? What the fuck
is wrong with you two?
Oh, hey, calm down, dude.
Yeah, we're just trying to help.
Help?
I called you to make me smile,
and I've never felt worse
in my entire fucking life!
You both fucking suck
at your job!
Asking me about silly sausages
after you failed me?
Yo, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
You guys
are just like everybody else.
You don't take me
fucking seriously!
(LAUGHS) What the hell?
-This guy is freaking out.
-Fuck you! Fuck you all!
-(CROWD LAUGHS)
-I don't care if you people
don't like me!
I don't care. I-- I--
You people have broken me!
I don't care if you laugh at me!
I'm going to speak my mind!
This country is failing!
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(WHISPERS) Stop, Mr. Boss! No!
(WHISPERS) Let me go, Allan.
-INSPECTOR: Oh my God!
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
What's this?
Oh, that? That's just the nail
that holds the entire building
to the ground.
Very funny. (LAUGHS)
No, I'm serious.
-(RUMBLING)
-(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Deus misereatur nostri.
-There are microplastics
in every man's balls
-(CROWD LAUGHING)
and we consume
pollution all day.
Fuck you! (GROANS)
Everything fucking sucks!
You fucking people suck!
(LAUGHS)
He's so silly! He's so silly!
(SCREAMING)
I'm not joking!
I'm being serious!
-(SCREAMING)
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Whoa! Hey, guys!
Guys, look behind you!
Everyone get out of the way.
Run! Run!
There's a giant yellow ball
coming towards us!
(LAUGHS)
He's so funny and silly!
(SHRIEKS)
Please, seriously, run!
Get out of the way, please!
(SCREAMING)
-(LAUGHING)
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(LAUGHING)
Oh my God.
There was a giant yellow ball
that was about to crush us.
If he was right
about that, then
was he right about
everything else he was saying?
That means everything
he's ever said
or will say is true!
Yes! He's a prophet! He's a god!
(CHEERING)
Yes, finally!
I'm being taken seriously!
He's our new god.
We shall dedicate
a religion to him.
CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
-(LAUGHS) Yeah!
-CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
So, how did I do?
I'm gonna lose the building,
aren't I?
-You aced it.
-Really?
Yeah, you guys made me laugh.
That was-- That was awesome.
Yes.
Wow, so my building
is perfectly safe?
Fuck no, it's the worst building
I've seen in my entire life
and you failed miserably.
But that skeleton
in the wall was
that was funny shit.
I had a good time hanging out
with you guys.
We should really do this again
and be best friends.
Cool. So, that's it?
Hello?
Oh my gosh.
Yo, guys, it's me, Charlie.
Hey, did that guy
just turn into sand?
-Yeah, what was that?
-I'm not sure.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
All right boys,
let's get this puppy back
into place. On three. Ready?
PIM PIMLING:
All right, let's go.
ALL: One, two, three.
-Go, go! Push, push, push, push!
-(ALL GRUNTING)
-No, no, no, no, no!
-No. Oh, no.
-(SIGHS)
-(GROANS)
Oh, fuck it. Let's just go
get some ribs or something.
-Yeah, good idea.
-Yeah, I'll do some ribs.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Oh, hey, boys!
-Hello.
-Hey. What's up, man?
I just got a call from a crazy
character named Silly Samuel.
I forgot exactly
what his problem was
because he was so silly,
but he's waiting for you guys
at 123 Wacky Way.
Ooh! That sounds fun!
I love silly characters.
Me too, Pim! Me too!
Totally off-topic, Mr. Boss,
but I'm just curious,
have you ever, like, messed up
doing that knife thing before?
Nope, and I can go
even quicker than this.
-You really don't have to.
-No, yeah, it's fine, really.
-We can go on the job now.
-I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
I can go faster!
-(SCREAMS)
-(BUILDING RUMBLING)
All right, this is it.
123 Wacky Way.
-(GUNSHOTS)
-Pim, there's no way
this is right.
-(SIRENS WAILING)
-I guess it's kind of wacky.
Hey! Get off my property!
Oh, sorry. Um..
You wouldn't happen to be
Silly Samuel, would you?
Yeah, no shit.
Who else would I be?
Who are you?
Dude, we're the Smiling Friends.
You literally just called us.
Oh, yeah, I forgot! Oh!
Fuck!
I gotta go make breakfast. Shit.
-(SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING)
-(HONKING)
-(SLIDE WHISTLE WHISTLING)
-(SAUSAGE THUDS)
(LAUGHS) That was funny.
(GRUNTS, COUGHS)
I'm not trying to be funny,
dude, okay?
This is the exact reason
I called you guys!
No one takes me seriously!
For some reason,
everybody just laughs at me
for being myself.
I've lost all my friends,
I can't keep a job,
I'm eating silly sausages off
the hood of my shitbox Corolla.
-Please help me!
-Oh, don't worry, Silly Samuel.
By the end of the day,
we'll have you smiling again.
I mean, dude, if you want
to be taken seriously,
I feel like there's, like,
a really obvious solution here.
What do you mean?
The-- Your look!
Your entire look. Your name.
Your name is Silly Samuel.
You have a cuckoo clock
for a hat.
Like, have you ever thought
that maybe that's why
people don't take you seriously?
Oh.
I never thought about that.
Well, look, as funny as you are,
maybe that's the first place
we can start.
Sweet. Yeah, no
I guess we could try that.
We could take my car.
(EXPLOSION)
I'm bored.
(ALLAN RED HUMMING)
-What is up, Allan?
-I'm cleaning.
Yo, let's do something, man!
Let's go for a drive
or something!
No, thank you.
-Why don't you ask Glep?
-Oh, he's taking a nap.
Yeah, I tried to poke at him,
wake him up.
Little son of a bitch snapped up
and bit me on my hand.
Caught me good too.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(GUEST GRUNTS)
Hello.
I'm with the city and I'm here
for a random inspection.
Uh, for what?
It's a standard
random inspection
just to make sure
the building is all up to code.
It'll only take a moment.
Cool! Can you give me a sec?
-(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Allan, we are so fucked.
Why?
I built this office 30 years ago
without any permission
from the city
and used cheap laborers from
the Enchanted Forest to do it.
This building is a fucking mess.
It violates every code
in the books.
You really thought it was legal
to build a giant
yellow smiley face
between two buildings?
-I don't know.
-Do you realize?
Do you realize something?
If we fail this inspection,
we could lose our office
and we'd have to move out of it?
-No.
-Don't worry, Allan.
Your favorite boss has
a little trick up his sleeve.
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
-Come on in!
Oh!
Thank you, darling.
(PATIENT GRUNTING)
Don't worry, this is the best
doctor in the whole land.
He'll be able to look at your
situation and see what to do.
(SIGHS) There's nothing
we can do here, guys,
I gotta be honest with you.
-What?
-Yeah, we ran a lot of tests
and unfortunately
there's just nothing
we can do
to change your appearance.
Um, for example,
see this right here?
You have what I would call
a major artery.
Starts right here
around the crab claw.
Yeah, look right here.
Goes all the way up
through your cheese body,
straight up to the cuckoo clock
on top of your head. See that?
So, if we tried to modify
your body in any way,
you would die instantly.
(SCOFFS) Great! Awesome!
Another win for Silly Samuel!
(SCREAMS)
Okay, could we at least,
like, put clothes on top,
like, over his skin,
like, whatever that is?
-Just, like, on top of it?
-No, absolutely not.
He actually breathes
through the silly skin here,
so any kind
of clothing will kill him.
Okay, well I guess
I'm all out of ideas then.
I-- You're just stuck looking
silly, dude. I'm sorry, man.
Hmm. Well, if we can't change
the way you look,
why don't you try to embrace
your silliness?
Huh! Okay.
Let me think about it.
Oh, "embrace my silly--"
No, how about go fuck--
Fuck you, man!
Fuck you, man!
There's nothing silly about me!
-(CUCKOO CLOCK CUCKOOS)
-(DOCTOR GRUNTS)
Oh my God. Dude, are you okay?
What the fuck? No, I'm not okay.
Get the fuck out of my office.
-Dude, I think
that was an accident.
-Get out!
-We'll go, we'll go.
-Security!
-No, no!
-No need to call security!
-Janet, call security!
-Okay, okay.
-We're going. It's all right.
-We're leaving. We get it.
-(GUESTS SCREAMING, LAUGHING)
-(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS)
All right, Silly Samuel.
This group is called
the Three Weird Willies.
They've made a whole career
out of being strange and silly.
Maybe they can inspire you
to do something similar.
(MUMBLING)
Yeah, maybe I should try that.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
the Three Weird Willies!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-We love you Weird Willies!
Hi, I'm Weird Willy One.
I'm the alpha of the group.
-And we are the Weird Willies!
-And we are the Weird Willies!
-(SILLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(GROANS)
Okay, we need a volunteer
from the audience
to complete our trick.
(OVERLAPPING CHEERING, SHOUTING)
How about you? You look weird.
-Doesn't he look weird, kiddies?
-CROWD: Yeah!
(SCREAMS)
You just dislocated my arm!
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Hey, where do you
think you're going?
-I said get off me!
-(CROWD GASPS)
(WEIRD WILLIES SHOUTING)
(CROWD SCREAMING, SHOUTING)
(GROANING, MOANING)
I'll just check
the walls to make sure
they're the proper
wall material, yes.
I don't know what that is.
(FAUCET RUMBLING)
Oh, yeah, that
that's Allan's red juice.
INSPECTOR: Hmm.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CREATURES SNARLING)
(SHOUTING, GROWLING)
Hmm. Interesting.
All right,
time to execute my trick.
No, mis-- Whoa.
Mr. Boss, what are you doing?
-I'm saving my building, Allan!
-No, Mr. Boss
(EERIE MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
Great! I guess no one will
ever take me seriously. Ever.
Awesome! Great! Awesome!
(HONKS)
Yo, dude,
I really hate to ask this,
I seriously do, but I'm starting
to crash kind of hard right now,
just 'cause we've been
walking around
and I haven't gotten
food all day.
If if with full due respect
to you, uh, sir,
if you could just make me
literally one more
silly sausage,
I'd be so I'd be--
that would be enough
to get me 'til dinner.
What? What the fuck
is wrong with you two?
Oh, hey, calm down, dude.
Yeah, we're just trying to help.
Help?
I called you to make me smile,
and I've never felt worse
in my entire fucking life!
You both fucking suck
at your job!
Asking me about silly sausages
after you failed me?
Yo, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
You guys
are just like everybody else.
You don't take me
fucking seriously!
(LAUGHS) What the hell?
-This guy is freaking out.
-Fuck you! Fuck you all!
-(CROWD LAUGHS)
-I don't care if you people
don't like me!
I don't care. I-- I--
You people have broken me!
I don't care if you laugh at me!
I'm going to speak my mind!
This country is failing!
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(WHISPERS) Stop, Mr. Boss! No!
(WHISPERS) Let me go, Allan.
-INSPECTOR: Oh my God!
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
What's this?
Oh, that? That's just the nail
that holds the entire building
to the ground.
Very funny. (LAUGHS)
No, I'm serious.
-(RUMBLING)
-(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Deus misereatur nostri.
-There are microplastics
in every man's balls
-(CROWD LAUGHING)
and we consume
pollution all day.
Fuck you! (GROANS)
Everything fucking sucks!
You fucking people suck!
(LAUGHS)
He's so silly! He's so silly!
(SCREAMING)
I'm not joking!
I'm being serious!
-(SCREAMING)
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Whoa! Hey, guys!
Guys, look behind you!
Everyone get out of the way.
Run! Run!
There's a giant yellow ball
coming towards us!
(LAUGHS)
He's so funny and silly!
(SHRIEKS)
Please, seriously, run!
Get out of the way, please!
(SCREAMING)
-(LAUGHING)
-(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) ♪
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(LAUGHING)
Oh my God.
There was a giant yellow ball
that was about to crush us.
If he was right
about that, then
was he right about
everything else he was saying?
That means everything
he's ever said
or will say is true!
Yes! He's a prophet! He's a god!
(CHEERING)
Yes, finally!
I'm being taken seriously!
He's our new god.
We shall dedicate
a religion to him.
CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
-(LAUGHS) Yeah!
-CROWD: Silly Sam! Silly Sam!
So, how did I do?
I'm gonna lose the building,
aren't I?
-You aced it.
-Really?
Yeah, you guys made me laugh.
That was-- That was awesome.
Yes.
Wow, so my building
is perfectly safe?
Fuck no, it's the worst building
I've seen in my entire life
and you failed miserably.
But that skeleton
in the wall was
that was funny shit.
I had a good time hanging out
with you guys.
We should really do this again
and be best friends.
Cool. So, that's it?
Hello?
Oh my gosh.
Yo, guys, it's me, Charlie.
Hey, did that guy
just turn into sand?
-Yeah, what was that?
-I'm not sure.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
All right boys,
let's get this puppy back
into place. On three. Ready?
PIM PIMLING:
All right, let's go.
ALL: One, two, three.
-Go, go! Push, push, push, push!
-(ALL GRUNTING)
-No, no, no, no, no!
-No. Oh, no.
-(SIGHS)
-(GROANS)
Oh, fuck it. Let's just go
get some ribs or something.
-Yeah, good idea.
-Yeah, I'll do some ribs.