The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993) s03e01 Episode Script
Comings and Goings
MUSIC
Go on then don't keep us in suspense.
I just killed Scarface.
Scarface is dead. Adder killed him.
Adder killed Scarface.
The news brought joy to all of us in White Dear Park.
Even though Fox and I were deeply saddened by the death of our son, Bold,
it was time to make a fresh start.
Do you still want Charmer to be your maid?
Then who am I to stand in your way?
Perhaps your union will bring peace to both our families,
and you beginning for all of us.
Ah, spring at last.
What a beautiful day it shall be today.
Oh, I see, sorry to disturb you White Stagg.
Oh boy son.
I say and
No, I must tell Fox.
Oh dear, oh dear, dear me.
Is anything broken?
The great White Stagg in the water dead.
Oh.
Don't worry, I'm your friend.
I saw the whole thing right out of the sky you fell.
Are you alive?
What can I do to help?
What?
Hello?
You're a butcher.
Yes, always have been.
Does everything flap and bend properly?
Must tell Fox.
Fox, you don't mean the famous Fox,
who came from Farthingwood,
where the animals made an oath to care for each other?
Yes, that's us.
I'm Shadow.
I knew Fox's son, Bald.
He was one of you.
Bald?
Yes, poor Bald.
Perhaps we can talk again,
but I really must tell Fox.
Goodbye, feathered friend.
I've had lots of friends.
Slimey friends,
skilly friends, friends that woof,
friends that squeak.
But come to think of it, no badger friends.
Why, I'll be your friend.
Oh, you're so kind.
I knew the moment I set eyes on you.
She's kind, I thought.
Yeah, yeah, look what I found.
Kill, look at that.
Look at that.
Who am I?
Bully.
Bully.
And don't you forget it.
Forget what?
Who am I?
Well.
Bully, Bully, Bully.
And don't you forget it.
That's what.
Here.
Look what I found.
Here, I saw it first.
Who am I?
Bully.
Bully.
Bully.
Well, Lads, the great white stag is self.
Stone dead.
What a piece of luck for us, eh?
What did we come here for?
A blette?
Eh?
Yeah.
Eh, well, yeah, why do we?
What do we come at?
Oh, this is an easy one.
We can't take over what?
Dear Park.
Right.
A news patch was white.
Dear Park.
Hey.
It was his patch.
Him.
And now he's stone dead.
So what's going to stop us making it, Ella?
Patch.
From now on.
And who's going to stop us, eh?
Mhah!
Oh, no, no.
Eesh.
Eesh.
Oh, am I?
Am I?
Am I?
Lovely morning for a race, Dashie.
Not again.
I always win.
I know you will always win.
But I feel extra special fast today.
To the Gauls' bush.
And back again.
You're on.
Come on, Lucky.
You'll never have run that hair.
Yes, he will.
He's my grandson, isn't he?
Come on, Lucky.
Once upon a time, I was the fastest fox of them all.
Now out of all the little things.
I'm going to have to go.
Once upon a time, I was the fastest fox of them all.
Now out of all the foxes in White Deer Park.
I'm the slowest.
If it wasn't for you, Fox, there would be no Red Foxes left alive in White Deer Park
to race hairs on a spring morning.
Not to mention all the other animals.
You've saved us all from one thing or another so many times.
Come on!
I suppose you're right, Fixen.
Yes.
After all the troubles we've had in the past,
this spring is full of hope and new life.
This will be our best, our happiest year ever.
But I do wish it was me down there.
He's winning.
Come on, Ves.
Come on, Lucy.
Come on, lucky.
Come on, Dash.
Come on, lucky.
You're good.
You're good.
But 144.
You're good.
Just 145.
If you don't shut up, oh.
Oh.
You need something I've said.
Twirp.
Something I've done.
Twirp, twirp, twirp.
Something I haven't done.
Come on, lucky.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
I wish I'd never set ours on you.
What did I need a mate for anyway?
You will, you've done to me.
Come on, come on.
I win again.
I'm the firstest.
Oh, stupid, Vesel.
I was winning.
For the first time ever, I was winning.
Vesel, are you all right?
Speak to me, Vesel.
Oh, Vesel, what a pest you are.
Congratulations, Dash.
Well tried, plucky.
Better luck next time, eh?
I put a one.
Oh, Vesel.
You're all the same, you foxes.
Oi.
And you?
You blame me for everything.
Don't they, measly?
You think I get some sympathy, some consideration.
After all, in my condition.
Condition?
Condition?
We saw.
Are you?
She is.
Congratulations, Vesel.
All done, mate, is.
This means more Vesels.
Oh dear.
It is no laughing matter.
Dition?
Oh no.
I am a Vesel.
Oh.
Oh, you're gorgeous.
I'll get off.
Oi.
Babbom.
Fox, Vixen.
I came as quickly as I could.
What on earth's the matter, Whistler?
It's the great white stag.
He's dead.
He was drinking in the stream.
Why, isn't I think?
He just dropped dead.
Oh no.
He was a fine friend to us all.
Our protector.
Oh, it's the great white stag.
You don't have to tell me.
I've seen for myself dreadful shame, of course.
But what I want to know is which stag is going to take his place.
Owl's got a point.
The biggest stag in the herd is a right, thuggish monster.
Trey! He's called!
You'll not protect us the way our old friend did.
Trey.
I know him.
He's the lightliest candidate.
He's huge.
And he's always charging about in a bad temper.
Will Fox, what are you going to do about it?
I demand to know.
We were all safe when the great white stag was in charge of the park.
Now, we'll be troubled and disbursed, thuggish monster.
I need to be protected.
Go on, measly.
Make it glue something about it.
Hello, Fox.
Weasel, do stop being such a mini.
Perhaps this bad tempered bullies stag won't take the great white stags place after all.
You always make such a fuss.
You'd make a fuss if you had little ones to worry about.
I'll have you know.
I'm in a delicate condition.
Dear me, that will mean more weasels.
Twice the fuss and bother.
What a treat you've got.
Sitting up there all Ity-toity in sooty more little ones when they are even bold.
I was merely saying.
You can say what you like, but you haven't got a mate, have you?
Look, I've got a mate, a big strong brave weasel.
He's gorgeous.
She loves me.
I'm gorgeous. She loves me.
And everyone else says a mate.
I know I have.
Everyone except you.
Weasels got a point, Al.
We're. I've often thought of taking a mate, but I've never found the right Al.
You mean that every Al you've ever met has flown off in the opposite direction.
Double quick.
No, I
It's not like that at all.
Don't be upset, Al.
It's only weasel talking.
Some creatures you see are just not up to family life.
They don't have a warm heart, you see, and a loving disposition.
Isn't that right, measly?
Oh, you do care. You do.
It's not your fault, Al.
You just made that way.
Can't blame you if nobody wants a mate without a loving disposition.
Oh.
Hello? Hello there?
Hello.
Morning.
Hello, I'm I.
I
I can think we've met, please.
I'mmossy.
Oh, how did he do?
I'm Bully.
That's who I am, leader of the pack, as it were.
Spike, my dear chap.
Do you want to kill him or shall I?
She loves me.
I'd all
I'll kill it myself.
What do you aim, I?
What did she say I was?
She said I was gorgeous.
She said I was big, strong, and
Hmm.
She said I was brave.
Hmm. I'm not ever
Please don't kill me.
ThisI am
She said I was
And I am
Cool! It's a ways!
It's a ways or a ways or
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Mossy, what happened?
Rats. Big, nosky rats.
I was done for.
He saved me.
We heard you cry for help.
We would have been too late.
Yeah, well done, measly.
I had no idea you were so brave.
I am!
Ferry brave!
Oh!
That one was the littlest, wasn't it?
The others are much huger.
The huger is dangerous.
Oh! Huge, much, huge, huge, than badgers.
Oh!
What a hero.
Oh, think of Weasel's differently after this.
Are you all right, measly?
Yes.
Thank you.
Oh, my hero.
It came from nowhere.
Last thing I expected.
Are we? Are we?
I
Weasel!
What? Weasel?
It's not coming.
No charts for us around the abates.
Lock me such a a fish ass.
Weasel, weasel, weasel
About
Everybody quiet.
Something's coming.
I don't know.
What a dreadful day.
And Weasel's right, of course.
I don't have a mate.
Very funny, I'm sure.
You all!
And what do you want?
Just what I'd say.
I'm sure of all the way they treat you this morning.
I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
Flying away to Pastra's new.
I have, in fact,
don't tell anyone, will you?
Been thinking of taking a mate.
I had no idea.
I tried to mention it this morning,
but no one would listen.
I do have a warm heart, you know.
Oh, I'm sure.
Goodbye.
Bye bye.
Weasel, weasel
Weasel
Weasel
We do!
Oh!
We do!
Oh!
We do!
Oh!
Oh!
You're not
I am tray.
Never a viad such a set of all noise.
Oh!
Teryi, you're not a tray.
Never a viad such a set of all noise.
Oh!
Teryi, sorry, I'm sure.
I was calling for my mate.
Measley!
Measley!
Oh!
Measley!
If I hear you again, once, ever, I shall stamp on you.
I don't like weasels.
Pretty for you, I'm sure.
I don't like the noise they make.
Weasels are nuisance makers.
This is my park.
So no noise, no nuisance.
Better for you if I never see you again.
Actually, my wife's in a delicate condition.
No weasels!
Oh!
Where is he?
Ah!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Today will you?
If you must know, yes!
Trouble some things with the voice.
Yes!
I'm
senuous.
So am I.
No, no, no, no, no, no, it's my name.
Senuous.
Very apt. I'm sure.
Oh, matey's hair! Springs in the air, I see.
Yes!
And isn't it the toad eating season, senuous?
That's not very friendly, matey. What about the oaf?
Senuous.
Assss.
Am I in my condition?
It's not yet us, stamping on us.
Some things got to be done.
We can't have making a noise! We're Weasels!
You can't allow a monster like that to take over the park.
You've got to deal with inforcs.
Yeah?
What are you going to do?
Yeah? Weasel.
Measley, do be quiet.
Be quiet.
Be quiet.
Listen to yourselves.
It's all your own fault.
I've never heard such a dreadful noise.
It's no wonder Tray lost his temper with you.
Who wouldn't?
The fox.
You are going to do something?
I'm on Tray's side.
I'm sorry to say.
But who said?
He was just irritated by you.
That's all.
I'm irritated with you.
I'm sorry to say.
I'm irritated with you myself.
Well, this is the last straw.
I'm not going to stay around here and be stabbed today.
Not in my condition.
Weasel, where are you going?
Away from White Airpile.
Mate for me.
Forever.
Forever?
But weasel.
Her little ones here they'd be protected by the oath of farthing wood.
Outside the park, there'll be no one to help them.
Weasel.
Don't worry.
They'll be back tomorrow morning of the latest.
I'm not so sure.
Oh, do worry, Aunt Measley.
I'm going to find some way to live when our little ones can make as much noise and nuisance as they like.
But where?
Come on.
You stupid Weasel, you really are.
The way you think you're doing it, I'll sneak you in my dear park and I'll hurt you.
Please stop me, Weasel.
I'm very nervous about this.
Why are you doing this to your toe?
Just follow me and shut up.
It's that way.
Weasel and his mate.
They're gone.
Gone.
Yeah.
Gone.
Gone.
I'm a piece of good fortune.
I had some long tails.
It's all ours now.
This pretty park.
Yours and mine.
Mine and yours.
Who am I?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Go on then don't keep us in suspense.
I just killed Scarface.
Scarface is dead. Adder killed him.
Adder killed Scarface.
The news brought joy to all of us in White Dear Park.
Even though Fox and I were deeply saddened by the death of our son, Bold,
it was time to make a fresh start.
Do you still want Charmer to be your maid?
Then who am I to stand in your way?
Perhaps your union will bring peace to both our families,
and you beginning for all of us.
Ah, spring at last.
What a beautiful day it shall be today.
Oh, I see, sorry to disturb you White Stagg.
Oh boy son.
I say and
No, I must tell Fox.
Oh dear, oh dear, dear me.
Is anything broken?
The great White Stagg in the water dead.
Oh.
Don't worry, I'm your friend.
I saw the whole thing right out of the sky you fell.
Are you alive?
What can I do to help?
What?
Hello?
You're a butcher.
Yes, always have been.
Does everything flap and bend properly?
Must tell Fox.
Fox, you don't mean the famous Fox,
who came from Farthingwood,
where the animals made an oath to care for each other?
Yes, that's us.
I'm Shadow.
I knew Fox's son, Bald.
He was one of you.
Bald?
Yes, poor Bald.
Perhaps we can talk again,
but I really must tell Fox.
Goodbye, feathered friend.
I've had lots of friends.
Slimey friends,
skilly friends, friends that woof,
friends that squeak.
But come to think of it, no badger friends.
Why, I'll be your friend.
Oh, you're so kind.
I knew the moment I set eyes on you.
She's kind, I thought.
Yeah, yeah, look what I found.
Kill, look at that.
Look at that.
Who am I?
Bully.
Bully.
And don't you forget it.
Forget what?
Who am I?
Well.
Bully, Bully, Bully.
And don't you forget it.
That's what.
Here.
Look what I found.
Here, I saw it first.
Who am I?
Bully.
Bully.
Bully.
Well, Lads, the great white stag is self.
Stone dead.
What a piece of luck for us, eh?
What did we come here for?
A blette?
Eh?
Yeah.
Eh, well, yeah, why do we?
What do we come at?
Oh, this is an easy one.
We can't take over what?
Dear Park.
Right.
A news patch was white.
Dear Park.
Hey.
It was his patch.
Him.
And now he's stone dead.
So what's going to stop us making it, Ella?
Patch.
From now on.
And who's going to stop us, eh?
Mhah!
Oh, no, no.
Eesh.
Eesh.
Oh, am I?
Am I?
Am I?
Lovely morning for a race, Dashie.
Not again.
I always win.
I know you will always win.
But I feel extra special fast today.
To the Gauls' bush.
And back again.
You're on.
Come on, Lucky.
You'll never have run that hair.
Yes, he will.
He's my grandson, isn't he?
Come on, Lucky.
Once upon a time, I was the fastest fox of them all.
Now out of all the little things.
I'm going to have to go.
Once upon a time, I was the fastest fox of them all.
Now out of all the foxes in White Deer Park.
I'm the slowest.
If it wasn't for you, Fox, there would be no Red Foxes left alive in White Deer Park
to race hairs on a spring morning.
Not to mention all the other animals.
You've saved us all from one thing or another so many times.
Come on!
I suppose you're right, Fixen.
Yes.
After all the troubles we've had in the past,
this spring is full of hope and new life.
This will be our best, our happiest year ever.
But I do wish it was me down there.
He's winning.
Come on, Ves.
Come on, Lucy.
Come on, lucky.
Come on, Dash.
Come on, lucky.
You're good.
You're good.
But 144.
You're good.
Just 145.
If you don't shut up, oh.
Oh.
You need something I've said.
Twirp.
Something I've done.
Twirp, twirp, twirp.
Something I haven't done.
Come on, lucky.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
I wish I'd never set ours on you.
What did I need a mate for anyway?
You will, you've done to me.
Come on, come on.
I win again.
I'm the firstest.
Oh, stupid, Vesel.
I was winning.
For the first time ever, I was winning.
Vesel, are you all right?
Speak to me, Vesel.
Oh, Vesel, what a pest you are.
Congratulations, Dash.
Well tried, plucky.
Better luck next time, eh?
I put a one.
Oh, Vesel.
You're all the same, you foxes.
Oi.
And you?
You blame me for everything.
Don't they, measly?
You think I get some sympathy, some consideration.
After all, in my condition.
Condition?
Condition?
We saw.
Are you?
She is.
Congratulations, Vesel.
All done, mate, is.
This means more Vesels.
Oh dear.
It is no laughing matter.
Dition?
Oh no.
I am a Vesel.
Oh.
Oh, you're gorgeous.
I'll get off.
Oi.
Babbom.
Fox, Vixen.
I came as quickly as I could.
What on earth's the matter, Whistler?
It's the great white stag.
He's dead.
He was drinking in the stream.
Why, isn't I think?
He just dropped dead.
Oh no.
He was a fine friend to us all.
Our protector.
Oh, it's the great white stag.
You don't have to tell me.
I've seen for myself dreadful shame, of course.
But what I want to know is which stag is going to take his place.
Owl's got a point.
The biggest stag in the herd is a right, thuggish monster.
Trey! He's called!
You'll not protect us the way our old friend did.
Trey.
I know him.
He's the lightliest candidate.
He's huge.
And he's always charging about in a bad temper.
Will Fox, what are you going to do about it?
I demand to know.
We were all safe when the great white stag was in charge of the park.
Now, we'll be troubled and disbursed, thuggish monster.
I need to be protected.
Go on, measly.
Make it glue something about it.
Hello, Fox.
Weasel, do stop being such a mini.
Perhaps this bad tempered bullies stag won't take the great white stags place after all.
You always make such a fuss.
You'd make a fuss if you had little ones to worry about.
I'll have you know.
I'm in a delicate condition.
Dear me, that will mean more weasels.
Twice the fuss and bother.
What a treat you've got.
Sitting up there all Ity-toity in sooty more little ones when they are even bold.
I was merely saying.
You can say what you like, but you haven't got a mate, have you?
Look, I've got a mate, a big strong brave weasel.
He's gorgeous.
She loves me.
I'm gorgeous. She loves me.
And everyone else says a mate.
I know I have.
Everyone except you.
Weasels got a point, Al.
We're. I've often thought of taking a mate, but I've never found the right Al.
You mean that every Al you've ever met has flown off in the opposite direction.
Double quick.
No, I
It's not like that at all.
Don't be upset, Al.
It's only weasel talking.
Some creatures you see are just not up to family life.
They don't have a warm heart, you see, and a loving disposition.
Isn't that right, measly?
Oh, you do care. You do.
It's not your fault, Al.
You just made that way.
Can't blame you if nobody wants a mate without a loving disposition.
Oh.
Hello? Hello there?
Hello.
Morning.
Hello, I'm I.
I
I can think we've met, please.
I'mmossy.
Oh, how did he do?
I'm Bully.
That's who I am, leader of the pack, as it were.
Spike, my dear chap.
Do you want to kill him or shall I?
She loves me.
I'd all
I'll kill it myself.
What do you aim, I?
What did she say I was?
She said I was gorgeous.
She said I was big, strong, and
Hmm.
She said I was brave.
Hmm. I'm not ever
Please don't kill me.
ThisI am
She said I was
And I am
Cool! It's a ways!
It's a ways or a ways or
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Mossy, what happened?
Rats. Big, nosky rats.
I was done for.
He saved me.
We heard you cry for help.
We would have been too late.
Yeah, well done, measly.
I had no idea you were so brave.
I am!
Ferry brave!
Oh!
That one was the littlest, wasn't it?
The others are much huger.
The huger is dangerous.
Oh! Huge, much, huge, huge, than badgers.
Oh!
What a hero.
Oh, think of Weasel's differently after this.
Are you all right, measly?
Yes.
Thank you.
Oh, my hero.
It came from nowhere.
Last thing I expected.
Are we? Are we?
I
Weasel!
What? Weasel?
It's not coming.
No charts for us around the abates.
Lock me such a a fish ass.
Weasel, weasel, weasel
About
Everybody quiet.
Something's coming.
I don't know.
What a dreadful day.
And Weasel's right, of course.
I don't have a mate.
Very funny, I'm sure.
You all!
And what do you want?
Just what I'd say.
I'm sure of all the way they treat you this morning.
I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
Flying away to Pastra's new.
I have, in fact,
don't tell anyone, will you?
Been thinking of taking a mate.
I had no idea.
I tried to mention it this morning,
but no one would listen.
I do have a warm heart, you know.
Oh, I'm sure.
Goodbye.
Bye bye.
Weasel, weasel
Weasel
Weasel
We do!
Oh!
We do!
Oh!
We do!
Oh!
Oh!
You're not
I am tray.
Never a viad such a set of all noise.
Oh!
Teryi, you're not a tray.
Never a viad such a set of all noise.
Oh!
Teryi, sorry, I'm sure.
I was calling for my mate.
Measley!
Measley!
Oh!
Measley!
If I hear you again, once, ever, I shall stamp on you.
I don't like weasels.
Pretty for you, I'm sure.
I don't like the noise they make.
Weasels are nuisance makers.
This is my park.
So no noise, no nuisance.
Better for you if I never see you again.
Actually, my wife's in a delicate condition.
No weasels!
Oh!
Where is he?
Ah!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Today will you?
If you must know, yes!
Trouble some things with the voice.
Yes!
I'm
senuous.
So am I.
No, no, no, no, no, no, it's my name.
Senuous.
Very apt. I'm sure.
Oh, matey's hair! Springs in the air, I see.
Yes!
And isn't it the toad eating season, senuous?
That's not very friendly, matey. What about the oaf?
Senuous.
Assss.
Am I in my condition?
It's not yet us, stamping on us.
Some things got to be done.
We can't have making a noise! We're Weasels!
You can't allow a monster like that to take over the park.
You've got to deal with inforcs.
Yeah?
What are you going to do?
Yeah? Weasel.
Measley, do be quiet.
Be quiet.
Be quiet.
Listen to yourselves.
It's all your own fault.
I've never heard such a dreadful noise.
It's no wonder Tray lost his temper with you.
Who wouldn't?
The fox.
You are going to do something?
I'm on Tray's side.
I'm sorry to say.
But who said?
He was just irritated by you.
That's all.
I'm irritated with you.
I'm sorry to say.
I'm irritated with you myself.
Well, this is the last straw.
I'm not going to stay around here and be stabbed today.
Not in my condition.
Weasel, where are you going?
Away from White Airpile.
Mate for me.
Forever.
Forever?
But weasel.
Her little ones here they'd be protected by the oath of farthing wood.
Outside the park, there'll be no one to help them.
Weasel.
Don't worry.
They'll be back tomorrow morning of the latest.
I'm not so sure.
Oh, do worry, Aunt Measley.
I'm going to find some way to live when our little ones can make as much noise and nuisance as they like.
But where?
Come on.
You stupid Weasel, you really are.
The way you think you're doing it, I'll sneak you in my dear park and I'll hurt you.
Please stop me, Weasel.
I'm very nervous about this.
Why are you doing this to your toe?
Just follow me and shut up.
It's that way.
Weasel and his mate.
They're gone.
Gone.
Yeah.
Gone.
Gone.
I'm a piece of good fortune.
I had some long tails.
It's all ours now.
This pretty park.
Yours and mine.
Mine and yours.
Who am I?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.