The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993) s03e02 Episode Script
Out and About
What on earth's the matter, Whistler?
It's the great, white stag. He's dead.
If that wasn't bad enough, our noble friend and protector was soon replaced.
What's the matter, Whistler?
It's the great, white stag. He's dead.
If that wasn't bad enough, our noble friend and protector
was soon replaced by a tyrant.
Oh, and you're not
I am tray.
There was worse to come. I'll deserted us after being deeply insulted by Whistle.
I've had enough. I'm leaving.
And then Whistle announced she was expecting babies and was also going to leave White Deer Park.
Forever!
Forever!
Hmm.
MUSIC
Stop, friendly. We're having a race.
I'm fastest!
After her, go on.
Come on, plucky!
Well, well now, tray. What a delightful surprise.
I don't think we met since you became leader of the herd.
Congratulations.
And a good morning to you, too.
It's not a good morning. In fact, my old day is ruined.
Our poor deer, and why is that?
I've seen a Whistle.
Couldn't have. Whistle immediately left White Deer Park months ago.
I mean you. You're a Whistle.
I'm a Whistle. I'm glad you admit it.
Does a Whistle have a bushy tail like this one?
As far as I'm concerned, anything that isn't a White Deer is a Whistle.
That makes you a Whistle.
Don't do that. I don't like it.
What's this place called?
White Deer Park.
That means it's the home of White Deer.
Not weasels like you and your far-winged wood friends.
I was born in this park. So were lots of the others.
We've as much right here as you.
Don't you argue with me. You foxy weasel.
This is my park.
You do as I say, or I'll clear you all out.
What's the trouble?
It's all my fault. I'm a Whistle.
Here, watch it, ma'am!
Whistle, you need some landing practice.
I do apologize. I was flying along and suddenly I heard the most terrible roar.
That was Trey losing his temper again.
It quite befuddled me.
Actually, I've been out of the park looking for Owl.
I can't find her anywhere.
Will you just have to try harder?
Things aren't the same around here.
Without Owl's pompous face, blinking down on us.
You're alright, ma'am. You found yourself a new friend.
That's none of your business.
You'll be adding up at our soon-oil reckons.
The newest. Shall I deal with that odious creature?
Or shall you?
There!
Have you spoken to any other owls?
Mail owls?
Oh, six or eight. But none had seen her.
She may have gone far, far away, looking for a mate.
Oh, that's what she's up to.
Well, I hope she says lucky as I was.
And me.
And me.
Mooo-moo. Mooo-moo.
I knew this place.
Of course, we pass through here on our famous journey to Whitedale Park.
Woo!
Good afternoon.
Is that addressed to me personally as Chief Bat?
Or is it a general remark directed at all of us bats?
Either way, I don't care a hoot.
It says it doesn't care a hoot.
Doesn't care a hoot.
I think care a hoot doesn't care a hoot.
You don't mind me sharing your belfry.
Of course, you don't.
Actually, I was looking for another owl.
It's looking for a mate.
Looking for a mate.
A mate?
I'll find her a mate.
No, thank you.
I
She'll not belong.
I'm Chief Bat, so she gets back.
You can talk to me now.
I find it very hard to talk to anyone when they're upside down.
Of course I'm upside down.
I'm Bat.
That's your problem, not mine.
I am insulted. She's insulted.
She's insulted?
She's insulted.
I'll tell her that you insulted me when she gets back.
Perhaps if I told you a story, we could all drift quietly off to sleep.
Go on then.
Better not be boring.
Well, this story, you see, is all about when I and Fox and the other Farthingwood animals
made our famous journey from Farthingwood to White Deer Park.
Boring.
Boring.
It was on that journey, I should say, that Fox met his mate, Vixen.
And
Boring.
Boring.
No, that's in it.
Boring.
There you are then.
And what do you call this?
An idea.
I know it's not an owl as such, but it's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It'll do you.
I know it's not an owl as such, but it's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It'll do you.
Boring.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Blustin', I wasn't it.
Blustin', yes.
Plenty of mice about this morning there.
I caught 16.
16?
My, my.
If I'd known you were here, I'd have saved you one.
How very kind.
Just visiting.
Flying through, yes.
I expect when you dry off, you'd add a little butter, with a beaten.
No, no.
As you say, a bluster in iter, I usually look much better.
Ooh.
Oh, um, this is my mate.
Would you believe it?
I caught 16.
I caught 24.
I'd better catch a few more then.
Nice meeting you.
24, you say.
And I thought 16 was good.
He's very handsome, isn't he?
Ooh.
You know who.
Him.
Oh, yes.
An excellent specimen, I'm sure.
Looking for a mate, are you?
Me.
I know the look.
Well, if you must know, yes, I am.
Across the human road, keep on going.
Fly over a river, keep on going, over a field or two, and there's a copse, full of male owls.
Really?
One in every other tree.
Thank you for the tip.
Delighted to be of assistance.
Well, well, mustn't daily, lovely chat.
Goodbye.
You'll never find one as handsome as him.
I'm not a man.
I'm not a man.
I wasn't doing anything.
Just eating glass on me, you, Jellil.
When suddenly there he was saying, now crazy for the water mate.
The grassy for the deer to eat and walk on, he says, and for that one else, he's nuts!
Mad as a mace.
Oh, sorry, Leveritt.
Hello mate, is.
Again, is he?
Keep off the grassy, says.
Now crazy, nicks off for the deer.
Mad as a mace, here, that one.
But then there rats are much worse.
Much worse.
Down by the broken fence, I saw one.
More in matey, I says, all by himself I thought.
But then I saw lots more in the shadows, hundreds of reckons.
I didn't like them.
No, I didn't.
Adder has gone to the hollow to fetch fox.
He'll sort them out.
Fox is all very well, but he's not a weasel.
I don't know, they shouldn't get rid of them.
Yeah, well I mean, what the fk is going on?
Fox, you can't do it.
Fox, fox, fox, fox.
All right, all right, one at a time.
Mossy, what's the trouble?
I don't like them.
Like who?
Rats!
I've seen lots of them.
Didn't I matey?
Is.
Down by the broken fence.
There are five of them.
I counted them myself yesterday.
No, there's plenty more than that.
I counted ten on my way to the hollow.
I don't like them.
Perhaps you counted the same rats twice.
I don't make mistakes.
Come on, fox, I show you.
Hello, matey! It's me again!
Hello!
They were here.
They were.
I can smell them.
Yes, perhaps.
But how many?
Millions!
What we need is those weasels.
They'll fix them.
Weasel will have had her young by now.
Poor little things.
Not so little by now.
White deer park would be a safer place for young weasels in the outside world.
And they'll all be much safer in white deer park if they were here with us.
Could we find them and bring them back?
I might as.
I don't like rats.
I don't like weasels.
You hear all that?
Every word.
What did I say?
Who am I?
Ballet, ballet, ballet.
Ballet, ballet, ballet.
That's right. I want your report or the relevant details.
Come on.
She'll ask start by telling you about the weasels.
Weasels.
Oh, this is the life home sweet home.
Weasel.
Where are they?
You, weasel.
You've lost them again.
What's the other father are you?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Is this how you bring them up?
Allow me to teach them how to be silly geese.
Why don't you teach them how to be weasels?
I failed.
That's a father.
Had a weasel.
Look how fat those gosselines are.
But my poor little weasels.
They're skinny.
Sturving.
And it's all your fault.
I'll teach them how to be weasels.
And I'll fill their bellies, you see.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Now, we're all weasels.
Weasels!
And this morning, we are going to learn about mischief and disruption.
Shh!
Oh no!
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Oh
Oh
We've been flying waisels!
My bad I'm being a coslin'
I enjoyed being a waisel
You maisly twerk!
Did you get on a good feed?
I am
Nearly did
Come on you two! We'll find some mice in the barn
Huuuuck
Huuuck
Huuuck
I'll have no more of that sea
Geese honk sea
Waisels waisels sea
I've been delegated by the farm yard as a whole sea
To inform you that there's a meeting in the pickstove right away, see?
A meeting concerning you waisels and your presence in this year of farm yard sea
So follow me!
Huuuuck
A meeting held specially in our honour!
How fringling!
So nice of you all to invite us here
This is my husband, measly
My young, by Darwin Cleo
I believe we have all bit
Aren't you fat?
Though I've got prizes for it
Huuuuck
We're not here to talk about me
I'm sure we could spend the rest of our lives talking about me
And enjoying every minute of it
But we are here assembled
To talk about you
And your behaviour, see?
Behave you
Mwah!
Mwah!
Mwah!
Mwah!
Oh, I'll see! Compliance, is it?
As if you two big, horrible whizzels were bad enough
Those two little buttons have ruined our peace and quiet
Mwah! Mwah!
We're only doing what comes naturally
My husband is teaching them how to be waisels
Lessons in mischief and disruption are essential to their education
We are giving you notice to quit
He says quit, see? I says quit, see?
Shake! You deal with them
Yeah!
Yeah!
There's no point in staying where we're not welcome
That's right, see?
We better go
But my little ones, they were born here
Come on, come on, come on, weasel
Fight out, clear
Well done, brilliantly handled
Will be all right
Oh, look after you all
Thanks for all worried about
Where we going?
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
It's the great, white stag. He's dead.
If that wasn't bad enough, our noble friend and protector was soon replaced.
What's the matter, Whistler?
It's the great, white stag. He's dead.
If that wasn't bad enough, our noble friend and protector
was soon replaced by a tyrant.
Oh, and you're not
I am tray.
There was worse to come. I'll deserted us after being deeply insulted by Whistle.
I've had enough. I'm leaving.
And then Whistle announced she was expecting babies and was also going to leave White Deer Park.
Forever!
Forever!
Hmm.
MUSIC
Stop, friendly. We're having a race.
I'm fastest!
After her, go on.
Come on, plucky!
Well, well now, tray. What a delightful surprise.
I don't think we met since you became leader of the herd.
Congratulations.
And a good morning to you, too.
It's not a good morning. In fact, my old day is ruined.
Our poor deer, and why is that?
I've seen a Whistle.
Couldn't have. Whistle immediately left White Deer Park months ago.
I mean you. You're a Whistle.
I'm a Whistle. I'm glad you admit it.
Does a Whistle have a bushy tail like this one?
As far as I'm concerned, anything that isn't a White Deer is a Whistle.
That makes you a Whistle.
Don't do that. I don't like it.
What's this place called?
White Deer Park.
That means it's the home of White Deer.
Not weasels like you and your far-winged wood friends.
I was born in this park. So were lots of the others.
We've as much right here as you.
Don't you argue with me. You foxy weasel.
This is my park.
You do as I say, or I'll clear you all out.
What's the trouble?
It's all my fault. I'm a Whistle.
Here, watch it, ma'am!
Whistle, you need some landing practice.
I do apologize. I was flying along and suddenly I heard the most terrible roar.
That was Trey losing his temper again.
It quite befuddled me.
Actually, I've been out of the park looking for Owl.
I can't find her anywhere.
Will you just have to try harder?
Things aren't the same around here.
Without Owl's pompous face, blinking down on us.
You're alright, ma'am. You found yourself a new friend.
That's none of your business.
You'll be adding up at our soon-oil reckons.
The newest. Shall I deal with that odious creature?
Or shall you?
There!
Have you spoken to any other owls?
Mail owls?
Oh, six or eight. But none had seen her.
She may have gone far, far away, looking for a mate.
Oh, that's what she's up to.
Well, I hope she says lucky as I was.
And me.
And me.
Mooo-moo. Mooo-moo.
I knew this place.
Of course, we pass through here on our famous journey to Whitedale Park.
Woo!
Good afternoon.
Is that addressed to me personally as Chief Bat?
Or is it a general remark directed at all of us bats?
Either way, I don't care a hoot.
It says it doesn't care a hoot.
Doesn't care a hoot.
I think care a hoot doesn't care a hoot.
You don't mind me sharing your belfry.
Of course, you don't.
Actually, I was looking for another owl.
It's looking for a mate.
Looking for a mate.
A mate?
I'll find her a mate.
No, thank you.
I
She'll not belong.
I'm Chief Bat, so she gets back.
You can talk to me now.
I find it very hard to talk to anyone when they're upside down.
Of course I'm upside down.
I'm Bat.
That's your problem, not mine.
I am insulted. She's insulted.
She's insulted?
She's insulted.
I'll tell her that you insulted me when she gets back.
Perhaps if I told you a story, we could all drift quietly off to sleep.
Go on then.
Better not be boring.
Well, this story, you see, is all about when I and Fox and the other Farthingwood animals
made our famous journey from Farthingwood to White Deer Park.
Boring.
Boring.
It was on that journey, I should say, that Fox met his mate, Vixen.
And
Boring.
Boring.
No, that's in it.
Boring.
There you are then.
And what do you call this?
An idea.
I know it's not an owl as such, but it's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It'll do you.
I know it's not an owl as such, but it's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It's a bird of some sort, isn't it?
It'll do you.
Boring.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Blustin', I wasn't it.
Blustin', yes.
Plenty of mice about this morning there.
I caught 16.
16?
My, my.
If I'd known you were here, I'd have saved you one.
How very kind.
Just visiting.
Flying through, yes.
I expect when you dry off, you'd add a little butter, with a beaten.
No, no.
As you say, a bluster in iter, I usually look much better.
Ooh.
Oh, um, this is my mate.
Would you believe it?
I caught 16.
I caught 24.
I'd better catch a few more then.
Nice meeting you.
24, you say.
And I thought 16 was good.
He's very handsome, isn't he?
Ooh.
You know who.
Him.
Oh, yes.
An excellent specimen, I'm sure.
Looking for a mate, are you?
Me.
I know the look.
Well, if you must know, yes, I am.
Across the human road, keep on going.
Fly over a river, keep on going, over a field or two, and there's a copse, full of male owls.
Really?
One in every other tree.
Thank you for the tip.
Delighted to be of assistance.
Well, well, mustn't daily, lovely chat.
Goodbye.
You'll never find one as handsome as him.
I'm not a man.
I'm not a man.
I wasn't doing anything.
Just eating glass on me, you, Jellil.
When suddenly there he was saying, now crazy for the water mate.
The grassy for the deer to eat and walk on, he says, and for that one else, he's nuts!
Mad as a mace.
Oh, sorry, Leveritt.
Hello mate, is.
Again, is he?
Keep off the grassy, says.
Now crazy, nicks off for the deer.
Mad as a mace, here, that one.
But then there rats are much worse.
Much worse.
Down by the broken fence, I saw one.
More in matey, I says, all by himself I thought.
But then I saw lots more in the shadows, hundreds of reckons.
I didn't like them.
No, I didn't.
Adder has gone to the hollow to fetch fox.
He'll sort them out.
Fox is all very well, but he's not a weasel.
I don't know, they shouldn't get rid of them.
Yeah, well I mean, what the fk is going on?
Fox, you can't do it.
Fox, fox, fox, fox.
All right, all right, one at a time.
Mossy, what's the trouble?
I don't like them.
Like who?
Rats!
I've seen lots of them.
Didn't I matey?
Is.
Down by the broken fence.
There are five of them.
I counted them myself yesterday.
No, there's plenty more than that.
I counted ten on my way to the hollow.
I don't like them.
Perhaps you counted the same rats twice.
I don't make mistakes.
Come on, fox, I show you.
Hello, matey! It's me again!
Hello!
They were here.
They were.
I can smell them.
Yes, perhaps.
But how many?
Millions!
What we need is those weasels.
They'll fix them.
Weasel will have had her young by now.
Poor little things.
Not so little by now.
White deer park would be a safer place for young weasels in the outside world.
And they'll all be much safer in white deer park if they were here with us.
Could we find them and bring them back?
I might as.
I don't like rats.
I don't like weasels.
You hear all that?
Every word.
What did I say?
Who am I?
Ballet, ballet, ballet.
Ballet, ballet, ballet.
That's right. I want your report or the relevant details.
Come on.
She'll ask start by telling you about the weasels.
Weasels.
Oh, this is the life home sweet home.
Weasel.
Where are they?
You, weasel.
You've lost them again.
What's the other father are you?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Is this how you bring them up?
Allow me to teach them how to be silly geese.
Why don't you teach them how to be weasels?
I failed.
That's a father.
Had a weasel.
Look how fat those gosselines are.
But my poor little weasels.
They're skinny.
Sturving.
And it's all your fault.
I'll teach them how to be weasels.
And I'll fill their bellies, you see.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Now, we're all weasels.
Weasels!
And this morning, we are going to learn about mischief and disruption.
Shh!
Oh no!
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Oh
Oh
We've been flying waisels!
My bad I'm being a coslin'
I enjoyed being a waisel
You maisly twerk!
Did you get on a good feed?
I am
Nearly did
Come on you two! We'll find some mice in the barn
Huuuuck
Huuuck
Huuuck
I'll have no more of that sea
Geese honk sea
Waisels waisels sea
I've been delegated by the farm yard as a whole sea
To inform you that there's a meeting in the pickstove right away, see?
A meeting concerning you waisels and your presence in this year of farm yard sea
So follow me!
Huuuuck
A meeting held specially in our honour!
How fringling!
So nice of you all to invite us here
This is my husband, measly
My young, by Darwin Cleo
I believe we have all bit
Aren't you fat?
Though I've got prizes for it
Huuuuck
We're not here to talk about me
I'm sure we could spend the rest of our lives talking about me
And enjoying every minute of it
But we are here assembled
To talk about you
And your behaviour, see?
Behave you
Mwah!
Mwah!
Mwah!
Mwah!
Oh, I'll see! Compliance, is it?
As if you two big, horrible whizzels were bad enough
Those two little buttons have ruined our peace and quiet
Mwah! Mwah!
We're only doing what comes naturally
My husband is teaching them how to be waisels
Lessons in mischief and disruption are essential to their education
We are giving you notice to quit
He says quit, see? I says quit, see?
Shake! You deal with them
Yeah!
Yeah!
There's no point in staying where we're not welcome
That's right, see?
We better go
But my little ones, they were born here
Come on, come on, come on, weasel
Fight out, clear
Well done, brilliantly handled
Will be all right
Oh, look after you all
Thanks for all worried about
Where we going?
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there
I'll tell you when we get there