Euphoria (2019) s03e03 Episode Script
The Ballad of Paladin
1
Throughout the history of America,
there have been
windows of time where
anyone could strike it rich.
Take the gold rush.
Prohibition.
Cryptocurrency.
It's all about timing.
And Jules had found
her window of opportunity.
It's like dating,
except you get paid.
How much?
Depends on how rich they are.
But then, they expect you
to fuck them.
Yeah, but no more
than any other guy.
It all started
back in art school
with her roommate, Vivian.
Hold out for as long
as possible
till the money's right.
I don't know.
It sounds sketchy.
Yeah.
Well, the good thing
about rich people
is they actually have
something to lose.
Money.
Besides, it beats
working retail.
Anything's better than retail.
Jules' first date
was with a 48-year-old
lawyer named Rick.
I don't, uh, normally
do this kind of thing,
you know, so.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
But my, uh, therapist says that
I have severe intimacy issues.
It's not funny.
I-I've never had a girlfriend.
N-Never?
I don't know, I find
sleeping next to a woman
makes me
claustrophobic.
So, look.
That's for dinner.
Um
But if you want to
come back
to my place after this,
I could be way more generous.
He had a very specific fetish.
Nylons.
All he wanted was to
lick her tights and jerk off.
Oh, you love it.
I know you love it.
I love it.
All I have to do is see
this guy twice a month,
and he pays my rent?
Told you.
Oh, I'm gonna clean up.
There was Randy,
a Hollywood producer
who had a net worth
of 50 million.
Closer to 200 million.
Can't publicly list it.
Don't wanna get fucked
up the ass by the IRS.
There was Henry,
a run-of-the-mill finance guy.
I know the volatility
in the market
has spooked our clients.
We've been doing this
a long time,
and this is not our first
rodeo.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
And then, there was Ellis.
A plastic surgeon.
I do what God didn't.
Same with you.
- That's one way to put it.
- Well, is there another?
We defy the natural order
of things.
Age. Gravity.
- Sex.
- Exactly.
No fun to be helpless.
Mm-hmm, and to not evolve.
When did you transition?
Fourteen.
That's why you're poreless.
Never went through puberty.
It's beautiful.
Your breasts are natural?
For now.
What would you
change about 'em?
I don't know,
you're the expert.
From here,
they look near perfect.
Near perfect?
Anything can be improved.
You have a family?
I do.
Sorry if I, uh
- What?
- Made you uncomfortable?
Oh, I
I slice women open for a living.
There's very little that
makes me uncomfortable.
Does your wife
know you do this?
Go on dates?
Fuck trannies?
Dessert?
- Thank you.
- Bon appetit.
You first.
Is it good?
Delicious.
My wife knows I have
certain proclivities.
- Behaviors.
- Behaviors?
Weaknesses.
And she's okay with it?
You marry the best parts
of a person.
Hopefully, you can
tolerate the worst.
That sounds sad.
It isn't.
Do your parents
know what you do?
Go on dates?
Sell yourself?
Definitely not.
What do they think you do?
Go to art school, paint.
Live off $750 a month.
- That seems difficult.
- It is.
Are you good?
At what?
Painting.
Yeah, I-- I think so.
Yeah.
What did you think
I was asking?
Dad, no, I'm okay.
Everything's fine.
I'm just saying,
I don't think
I need to go to art school
to be an artist.
It's like a waste of time.
I make money hostessing.
Literally, all Viv and I do
all day
is she's sculpting
and I'm painting.
And I feel like I'm--
I'm, like, learning more
from just being in my space
and working on that
than like anything that
they're teaching me in class.
She was making more money
than she ever imagined.
And eventually, he became
the only client she saw.
All her fears about making it
as an artist disappeared.
I just might keep you forever.
The same house
with the same backdoor ♪
The same secrets
in the bottom drawer ♪
The way back home
was dark that night ♪
Singing be-I-bickey-bye,
boom-boom-boom, let's go ♪
Yeah, let's go ♪
Someone's gotta know
what that means ♪
To build a dream
with hammer and nails ♪
Only to see it fade away ♪
One fine day ♪
The way back home
was dark that night ♪
Singing be-I-bickey-bye,
boom-boom-boom, let's go ♪
Let's go ♪
But even so ♪
Rosebuds will grow ♪
Rains wash away
this world ♪
Hola.
Yours truly
was working her way up.
First up, we got our G19.
It's affordable, dependable,
with a smooth black finish.
It's the go-to gun
for the everyday man.
No muss, no fuss.
It's light as a feather.
Now, next,
from our submachine gun line,
we have the APC.
Now, it's got
a four-and-a-half-inch barrel,
fully deployable stock,
and it's perfect
for concealment,
whether under a trench coat or
maybe for the missus' sundress.
It's affectionately
known as the spray-and-pray.
That's right, it's got
a cyclical rate of about
1,000 rounds per minute,
so you're gonna
wanna hold on tight.
Ten of those.
Ah.
See, I knew you'd say that.
But before you make
any decisions,
let me just introduce you
to my personal favorite.
Now, this is for those
who wanna intimidate with style.
Okay, this
is the AR-15.
I know a lot of Americans
have very strong feelings
about guns.
But if it's any consolation,
the majority of the weapons
I was selling
were headed to Mexico.
Pleasure doing business
with you, hombre.
At least Alamo
appreciated me.
There she is.
My employee of the month.
You know, you said
I'd get 3% commission, so.
You see, now I like that.
That's that ambition
right there.
You keep it up, young buck.
Hey, you know,
I'm trying to work
my way up and go legit.
Legit?
Yeah.
So, you don't think, uh,
what you're doing is legit?
I mean, do-- do you think
what we're doing is legit?
Legit's a funny word.
What does it even mean?
I mean, I think it just
means legal, right?
Hm.
You know history?
Um, not particularly.
Take the numbers racket.
The people used to run that
out of clubs just like this,
till the government came in
and shut it down.
Said it was illegal.
Sent niggas to prison.
But did that
make it go away?
- Did it?
- Hell, no.
They just made it bigger.
Mm, took it over
for themselves.
Can't set foot in a gas station
or a corner store
without seeing lotto,
- lotto, lotto.
- Lotto. Yeah.
Whole motherfucking
lot of lotto, right?
What's that tell you?
I-- I don't really know.
What was once illegal
is now legit.
- Yeah.
- That's what I was gonna say.
Question is
where's all that money go?
They say it funds
the education system.
That what they say?
Yeah.
And these kids are just getting
dumber and dumber.
Something ain't adding up.
- You know?
- I know that's right.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Do you have a moral problem
with what you're doing?
What?
No, I'm cool.
I'm, like, cool.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Let me tell you
something, young blood.
Hm.
Come here.
The only thing
that matters is power.
And how do you get power?
Money?
Bingo.
And what are you doing?
Making money.
Okay.
Bingo.
So, what the fuck
are you complaining about?
Little Miss Legit.
Mm. Shit.
This bitch done cross
the motherfuckin' line.
The girls, they traumatized.
Technically, they're tit for tat
with the pig.
- We started it.
- We didn't start,
she started it.
You happen to notice
who wasn't dancing tonight?
Tish, 'cause Laurie
motherfucking killed her ass.
- Fair point.
- It's a beautiful pig.
What that cracker-ass cunt
love most in this world?
Shit, her La-Z-Boy.
Anybody can get
a damn La-Z-Boy.
I'm talking about
breaking her heart.
I'm a perfect little guy.
Look at this.
What a good day.
What a good time out here.
Look at all this.
You're my perfect
little baby guy.
Paladin.
- Paladin?
- It's her parrot.
She has a parrot
named Paladin?
Yeah, she loves
that fucking thing.
Hm.
Maybe it's time
we paid Paladin a visit.
Who invited me
to the wedding?
Meanwhile,
I had made plans with Jules.
Me.
I don't think they're gonna
want me there.
Yeah, well, I want you there.
Well, you're not
getting married, they are.
Yeah, but they gave me
a plus-one,
so that means they trust me
to bring whoever I want.
Rue, I haven't seen
Nate or Cassie
since they graduated.
Yeah, but you're not
going for them.
You're going for me.
I don't know.
I'm your sugar daddy now.
Dress sexy.
Maddy didn't know
what she wanted more
to get in between
Nate and Cassie,
or make a little money.
Dude.
- Dude.
- Hold on.
What's going on?
Something's wrong.
He didn't even
come home last night.
- Wait, where was he?
- That's what I wanna know.
- He's probably nervous.
- About what?
He didn't do anything.
Don't step on the dress!
Fred had diarrhea
the whole week
leading up to our wedding.
You think diarrhea's bad?
Try getting a divorce.
Oh, my God, Mom!
I can't believe she had
the nerve to show her face.
I saw a little more
than her face.
Stop.
I didn't expect
to see you here.
I didn't expect to be here.
She's my plus-one.
Who is that?
I think she's an old friend
of Nate's.
Hm.
I don't remember her.
She's a good girl.
She's better than most.
I remember waiting
to walk down the aisle
towards your father,
just like today
filled with hope
and aspirations,
and all the smiling people.
They were so joyous.
Please rise for the bride.
And there I was
never realizing
it was the last happy moment
I'd share with your father.
God.
I looked so beautiful.
Before I started looking like
an anorexic witch.
Band was playing
a happy tune.
And who would have
expected we'd have such
terrible arguments.
I mean, disappearing
for days on end.
And as I marched
down the aisle,
like we're doing now,
it never occurred to me,
the brutality
of the man
that I never knew before.
It's like, how could
I be so naive?
Misjudging?
I mean, it's not like
a mistake you can fix.
You are everything to me.
You are my masterpiece.
Go get him.
Do you, Cassie,
take this man, Nate,
to be your lawfully
wedded husband
for as long
as you both shall live?
I do.
Do you, Nate,
take this woman, Cassie,
to be your lawfully
wedded wife
for as long as you both
shall live?
I do.
Nate, Cassie,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Nate, you may kiss the bride.
When I fall in love ♪
It will be forever ♪
Or I'll never fall ♪
In love ♪
And the moment ♪
I can feel that ♪
You feel that way too ♪
Is when I fall in love ♪
With you ♪
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
What time?
Okay.
Alright, well,
I look forward
to seeing her.
The girl sticks
bowling balls of dope
up her butthole.
Yeah, and then
you put it up your nose.
She ain't
the relationship type.
You just mad
'cause I got to her first.
God damn.
What, she fuck
all your brain cells out?
No.
I just got off with Alamo.
He appreciate us
returning the pig?
Apparently, he's sending
Rue to do a pick-up.
You don't find that weird?
Well, he runs a whorehouse,
so he's gotta keep
his women doped up.
Shit, I mean,
maybe we should kidnap her.
- That's not a bad idea.
- Why the fuck not?
Why the fuck not?
- Why the fuck
- Could be fun.
I do miss her.
Can't believe
they actually got married.
I thought
it would be depressing,
but I was kind of moved.
Yeah, it looked like
they were in love.
I like the dress.
Yo.
You got a run to Laurie's.
I'm kind of, like,
at a wedding right now.
I'm not asking.
Sh-- okay, um,
yeah, yeah, no, I'll be there.
Okay.
Hey, Jules, don't hate me.
- What?
- I just-- I gotta go.
It's a work thing.
- What?
- Yeah, it's fine.
But I'll be back.
- We're-- no, we're here.
- I know, it's cool.
Don't worry.
You can be my plus-one.
We ready?
Pinch your nipple.
- Shit.
- Pull out
Something seemed off.
I had a hard time believing
it was business as usual.
But it wasn't like
I could say no.
You look beautiful.
I look chubby,
it's humiliating.
Oh, no, it'll get thinner
as it melts.
But I don't want my boobs
to melt too quickly.
Right here, guys.
I wanna go congratulate them.
Maybe wait a few weeks.
I don't want to be rude.
It's not rude.
- Should we go?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- No.
- Come on.
- No.
Why not?
- I feel love.
- Mm.
Mostly by my scotch.
Oh.
- Oh, look at that.
- Okay, well
Hey, waiter, round three.
Is that BB?
She's pregnant?
How much you wanna bet
she doesn't know
who the baby daddy is?
Hi!
- Hi!
- I missed you so much.
How are you?
Aw. Did you change your number?
Mm.
I'm Cal Jacobs.
Most of you know me.
Some have probably
heard about me.
That's the past.
- Alright.
- Get ready to take the mic.
Tonight, I'm the proud father
of the groom.
Nate, you and I
have been through a lot.
We have.
But I always believed in you.
You're a winner.
Look at your wife.
I mean, who in here can say
they married better than him?
Oh, goddamn straight, baby.
Alright.
I'm gonna keep drinking.
You keep drinking.
Nate, I love you.
Please, please ♪
Please ♪
- Uh, tequila soda, please.
- You got it.
Remember me?
How could I forget?
It's not every day you fuck
one of your son's
high school classmates.
And record it.
Ah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm-- I'm very sorry
about that part.
Are you?
It wasn't for
distribution purposes.
I just wanted
to jerk off to it, you know?
Relive the experience.
When I heard
you got arrested,
I kept expecting the cops
to call me.
Yeah, there was a video
I got busted for.
Fucked a guy who was
two-and-a-half months away
from turning 18.
Lied about his age,
just like you.
But somehow, your video
never made it to the police.
Someone must have been
looking out for me.
Can't say the same.
I copped a plea deal,
ended up on the fuckin'
sex offender registry.
So, like, you're one
of those red dots?
Modern-day scarlet letter.
Can't even drive
by a fuckin' school.
Have fun looking
for an apartment
when you're on that list.
I'm surprised you
still talk to Nate.
Ah, it's easier
than being alone and angry.
I love you so ♪
You're about to receive
a collect call
from an inmate at a California
correctional facility.
Press one
to accept the charges.
Fez?
Bro!
Bro, I fucking miss you, bro!
Please ♪
I love you so ♪
I just wish everyone
didn't think I was a pedo.
You do like 'em young.
But legal.
You cut it
a little close though.
Ehh.
Youth is beautiful.
Who wants to fuck
an old person?
I guess sometimes I do.
You don't mind the cellulite?
The fucking skin tags?
I think I like
the perspective.
Perspective?
I call that youthful idealism.
You know, high school,
best years of our lives.
I couldn't disagree more.
Well, for what it's worth,
you still look fantastic.
Thank you.
- I love you so ♪
- Oh ♪
- Have fun.
- Oh, mama ♪
Oh, daddy ♪
Hi, um
I'm Marsha.
Mother of the groom.
You know, as a--
as a mom of a boy,
you sometimes, uh,
you gotta bite your tongue.
You know, when--
when he brings home a girl
that you know isn't right.
Yeah.
And, uh, that happened.
Yeah.
But then--
then he found Cassie.
And we love her so much.
And I just wanted to say
thank you, everyone,
for making it here to celebrate
the, uh, new
Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs,
because we're divorced.
Just-- I just wanted to say
I love you guys.
Um, welcome to the family.
Raise your glasses, please.
Love you guys.
Thank you. Mwah.
When you came
down the aisle,
I just burst into tears.
Oh, thank you.
So sweet.
Hey.
You know, I've never seen
so many flowers in my life.
I was just gonna call you back,
but, uh, everything with
the wedding got crazy.
I'm trying really hard
not to be offended.
My invitation must have
got lost in the mail.
Oh, that was
probably my fault.
I was doing all the invitations.
What's your name?
Nassim.
Naz for short.
- I'm Cassie.
- Nice to meet you.
Now, but if you
don't know who I am,
how could you be sorry
for not inviting me, huh?
Hey, why don't we go talk
- somewhere privately,
you and I?
- Sit down.
Don't you think
it's a little foolish
to throw such a lavish party
when you owe
so many people money?
Up, now.
Alright, what's?
I just heard
Nate owes someone
- a lot of money.
- Owes?
It's okay.
I have the money.
You may have the money.
- I don't have the money.
- What money?
What do you think?
I'm just some punk
that you can bullshit?
No. No, no, no.
No, not at all, Naz.
- Not at all.
- Really? I mean,
I see champagne, I see lobster,
I see black caviar.
We chose the menu
six months ago.
And did you pay
for this fucking thing
six months ago?
- What are you talking about?
- Some guy just threatened him.
He had an accent.
Russian, I don't know.
I promise you, I will get you
every last dollar.
You know,
you always promise,
but you never say when.
When do you promise?
Because promise
without when,
it's just useless
exchange of words.
What is going on?
I-- I'm in the middle
of my wedding.
- Nate, who is this guy?
- It's okay.
You know, I used to be
your husband's friend.
Now, I'm gonna become
his worst fucking nightmare.
I'm sure it's
a misunderstanding, sweetheart.
We gave him money.
A lot of fucking money.
I know, I know.
Let's bring the anxiety down.
Okay? I'll talk to him.
Enjoy this moment.
It's okay.
It's totally fine.
Hey, is everything okay?
Of course.
It's my wedding day.
Okay. I was just asking.
What a weird question to ask
on the best day of my life.
I love you.
Let's give it up
- Smile. Smile.
- for Nate Jacobs
and his beautiful, smokin',
hot-to-trot, foxy mama
Cassie Jacobs.
I do not feel good
about this.
Alright!
What did he mean
by nightmare?
Baby, it's nothing.
Just remember your steps.
Smile.
She wears my ring ♪
To show the world ♪
- How much money do you owe?
- We'll be fine, baby.
We just have
to downsize a little.
Downsize?
I do not want to downsize.
To tell the world ♪
Trust me. I love you.
This tiny ring ♪
Is a token ♪
Of tender emotion ♪
An endless pool of love ♪
That's as deep as ♪
I don't wanna be poor.
Don't cry. Smile.
She says she'll wear it ♪
With eternal devotion ♪
Yeah, sexy!
That's why I sing ♪
Because she wears ♪
My ring ♪
Escape?
What the fuck are you
talking about, escape?
How are you gonna do that?
Parkour?
Like the fucking-- the people
who, like, jump off shit
and shit?
That's how you're gonna escape?
What the fuck, bro?
Are you-- are you serious?
Yeah, I feel you.
How 'bout this?
If you do get out
using, what, fucking parkour
or whatever the fuck,
I'll come pick you up myself.
Bless, bless, one love.
Love you, bro.
Be safe, alright?
Everybody,
"to the window."
To the window ♪
To the wall ♪
Till the sweat
drop down my balls ♪
Till all these
bitches crawl ♪
Till all skeet-skeet,
motherfucker ♪
Till all
skeet-skeet, goddamn ♪
Till all skeet-skeet,
motherfucker ♪
Till all
skeet-skeet, goddamn ♪
When I was in the middle
of construction,
right, they find
a white fritillary,
shut the whole
development down.
- A what?
- A white fritillary.
What is that, a fucking bird?
No, it's a flower.
It's-- it's an endangered
flower.
But the whole thing's on pause
so the city can find out
- how to move this fucking thing.
- One flower?
Oh, it's-- it's more
than one flower.
It's like half a dozen flowers.
But I'm-- I'm fucked.
I'm burning through money
right now, Fred.
Let me hear you
shout, "What, what!"
It's all making sense.
- What?
- You and your little porno site.
I deleted that.
- Nate put you up to it?
- What? No.
He's pimping out his wife
for wedding decorations?
No, I did that.
So, you knew he was broke?
He's broke?
You can look it up,
you can google it, this is a--
this is a real thing,
a white fritillary.
Can you fucking believe it?
A flower, Fred.
I don't know
what to believe anymore.
I got a meeting with the P&Z
in a couple of weeks, alright?
We're gonna win
this case, Freddie.
Don't fucking lie to me.
Hey.
He might owe some people
some money,
but he's definitely not broke.
He's very successful.
He's not.
He's successful
at fucking conning people.
Freddie, say it--
say it with me.
Say it with me.
Fuck the flower.
- Fuck the flower.
- That's right.
- Fuck the flower.
- Fuck that flower.
We invested
our kids' college funds.
And what does that
have to do with me?
In the meantime, tell your wife,
"Please, just shut the fuck up."
- I'll take care of my wife.
- Okay.
Alright. Take care of this.
You have my word.
- Fuck that flower.
- Fuck that fucking flower.
Congratulations, dude.
Fuck.
Nice car.
I'll follow you.
Okay.
You're not gonna do anything
fucking crazy, are you?
Define "crazy."
Gun.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
That was cute.
Come on in.
Hi, you've reached the office
of Madeleine Perez.
Please leave your name
and number at the tone--
You are the last person
I expected to be here.
I came here
with Rue and Maddy.
Oh.
What happened to 'em?
Rue had, like, a work thing.
And I think Maddy got
a little more emotional
than she anticipated.
You love who you love.
Thank you for coming.
Sure.
Ruby Bennett.
I didn't realize
you'd be bringing company.
Alamo would like you to know
that he could start buying
from your competitors.
He even finds them
less unsavory.
Okay, well, I would like Alamo
to know that I don't care
if he buys from
J. Edgar Hoover.
We're not hurting
for customers.
He prefers your prices.
Then what the fuck
we talking about?
Quality control.
Alamo insists
we test everything.
Fine by us.
Faye, grab some of the kits.
- Go on, get.
- Yo.
Faye's allowed in the basement?
Yeah, 'cause that's my lady.
Boy fell for
the local mattress.
What's this
beautiful bird's name?
Paladin.
Incredible.
Do you like animals?
I love them.
Fuck, I love
those fuckin' lips.
- Mm.
- Bet you could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose.
- You're just jealous.
- Of what?
Catching AIDS?
One more word, I'll knock
your fucking teeth out.
Okey-dokey, faggot.
We really miss you
around here.
What would it take
to get you to come back?
I don't know.
Profit participation?
I mean, honestly,
I'm-- I'm really happy
working for Alamo.
That doesn't make me
feel good.
I'm sorry.
Remember,
the grass is always greener
by the septic tank.
I don't even believe
in marriage.
A hundred years ago,
they would have sold me
for three healthy cows
and a parcel of land.
Are you a virgin?
It's better than herpes.
Ahh.
You're not who
you say you are.
Cass, come on, come here.
You want me to be
the perfect housewife?
You want me to cook,
and clean,
- and suck your cock?
- Cassie, people can hear you--
I mean, we don't even
have money for food.
We have
money for food.
You're not a man.
Men provide.
Cassie, all-- all I do
is provide for you, baby.
- Come on, sit down.
- Oh, so now it's my fault?
I'm the reason you're conning
all of your fucking neighbors?!
Is that what you're fucking
telling everyone, Nate?
You're just fucking lying!
All you do is fucking lie!
You lie and you lie.
Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
Ow!
Fuck!
Want you to show me ♪
Dude, I know you're pissed,
but I'm pretty sure
that was just an accident.
It's like a pressure thing,
you know?
Corks just pop off.
See?
Some dreams do come true.
Aw.
I know you're upset.
I just didn't want to tell you
before the wedding.
I wanted it to be the most
beautiful day of your life.
Well, it was the worst.
Yep.
And I got us into this mess.
Mm, and I promise you,
I am gonna get us out of it.
There is no obstacle,
Cassie Jacobs,
that I can't get over.
Especially with you
by my side, baby.
I I love you.
I am so grateful
to call you my wife.
And every day, you make me
want to be a better man.
You make me wanna be
a better husband.
And, you know, h-hopefully
someday a father.
I love you,
Cassie Jacobs.
Even if I-- I can't see out
of this fucking eye right now.
Well, you deserved it.
Eh
Maybe. Maybe.
Now, when we get home
I'm gonna pick you up.
And I'm gonna carry you
across the threshold,
take you upstairs
to our bedroom
and I'm gonna
make love to you.
If that's okay.
I guess that's okay.
And when we wake up tomorrow
It'll be a new day.
What are you doing?
Taking a souvenir.
You name him
after Richard Boone?
I didn't know Blacks
liked westerns.
Uh, yo, Bishop, we're good.
It's not a Black
and white thing.
It's cowboys and Indians.
Civilized man
versus the savage.
And which are you?
I'm a motherfucking cowboy.
Gun, please.
Bye, guys.
Good to see you.
That's so mean!
How romantic.
That was a beautiful wedding.
I didn't want
to cause a scene.
Naz.
Can we talk about this?
- Fuck.
- Nate?
Nate!
No!
I'm bleeding!
This is my wedding night.
He doesn't wanna
listen to reason.
He doesn't ever wanna listen.
No! No! No! No!
Don't cry,
it messes up your makeup.
It's already messed up.
This is so unfair!
It was supposed to be
the best day of my life.
What are you doing?
Please, please, please!
What are you doing? No!
What is happening right now?
Please!
Please, please, please.
I have your money.
I'm gonna get your money.
Please, no.
Stop.
Please!
I just need a couple of days.
I just need a couple of days.
You mean,
like the honeymoon period, huh?
Yes! Yes. Yes.
Unfortunately,
your honeymoon's over.
You know, Cassie,
some women inherit wealth,
but others inherit debt.
And the angel of the Lord
appeared to him
in a flame of fire
from the midst of a bush.
So, he looked, and behold,
the bush was
burning with fire,
but the bush
was not consumed.
Then, Moses said
Fuck.
Shit. Fuck.
Ruby Bennett?
Yeah.
DEA.
Step out of the vehicle
with your hands above your head.
Nice and slow.
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
Have Gun, Will Travel
reads the card of a man ♪
A knight without armor
in a savage land ♪
His fast gun for hire
heeds the calling wind ♪
A soldier of fortune
is the man called ♪
Paladin ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
He travels on
to wherever he must ♪
A chess knight of silver
is his badge of trust ♪
There are campfire legends
that the Blade's men spin ♪
Of the man with the gun,
of the man called ♪
Paladin ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
Far from home ♪
Far from home ♪
Throughout the history of America,
there have been
windows of time where
anyone could strike it rich.
Take the gold rush.
Prohibition.
Cryptocurrency.
It's all about timing.
And Jules had found
her window of opportunity.
It's like dating,
except you get paid.
How much?
Depends on how rich they are.
But then, they expect you
to fuck them.
Yeah, but no more
than any other guy.
It all started
back in art school
with her roommate, Vivian.
Hold out for as long
as possible
till the money's right.
I don't know.
It sounds sketchy.
Yeah.
Well, the good thing
about rich people
is they actually have
something to lose.
Money.
Besides, it beats
working retail.
Anything's better than retail.
Jules' first date
was with a 48-year-old
lawyer named Rick.
I don't, uh, normally
do this kind of thing,
you know, so.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
But my, uh, therapist says that
I have severe intimacy issues.
It's not funny.
I-I've never had a girlfriend.
N-Never?
I don't know, I find
sleeping next to a woman
makes me
claustrophobic.
So, look.
That's for dinner.
Um
But if you want to
come back
to my place after this,
I could be way more generous.
He had a very specific fetish.
Nylons.
All he wanted was to
lick her tights and jerk off.
Oh, you love it.
I know you love it.
I love it.
All I have to do is see
this guy twice a month,
and he pays my rent?
Told you.
Oh, I'm gonna clean up.
There was Randy,
a Hollywood producer
who had a net worth
of 50 million.
Closer to 200 million.
Can't publicly list it.
Don't wanna get fucked
up the ass by the IRS.
There was Henry,
a run-of-the-mill finance guy.
I know the volatility
in the market
has spooked our clients.
We've been doing this
a long time,
and this is not our first
rodeo.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
And then, there was Ellis.
A plastic surgeon.
I do what God didn't.
Same with you.
- That's one way to put it.
- Well, is there another?
We defy the natural order
of things.
Age. Gravity.
- Sex.
- Exactly.
No fun to be helpless.
Mm-hmm, and to not evolve.
When did you transition?
Fourteen.
That's why you're poreless.
Never went through puberty.
It's beautiful.
Your breasts are natural?
For now.
What would you
change about 'em?
I don't know,
you're the expert.
From here,
they look near perfect.
Near perfect?
Anything can be improved.
You have a family?
I do.
Sorry if I, uh
- What?
- Made you uncomfortable?
Oh, I
I slice women open for a living.
There's very little that
makes me uncomfortable.
Does your wife
know you do this?
Go on dates?
Fuck trannies?
Dessert?
- Thank you.
- Bon appetit.
You first.
Is it good?
Delicious.
My wife knows I have
certain proclivities.
- Behaviors.
- Behaviors?
Weaknesses.
And she's okay with it?
You marry the best parts
of a person.
Hopefully, you can
tolerate the worst.
That sounds sad.
It isn't.
Do your parents
know what you do?
Go on dates?
Sell yourself?
Definitely not.
What do they think you do?
Go to art school, paint.
Live off $750 a month.
- That seems difficult.
- It is.
Are you good?
At what?
Painting.
Yeah, I-- I think so.
Yeah.
What did you think
I was asking?
Dad, no, I'm okay.
Everything's fine.
I'm just saying,
I don't think
I need to go to art school
to be an artist.
It's like a waste of time.
I make money hostessing.
Literally, all Viv and I do
all day
is she's sculpting
and I'm painting.
And I feel like I'm--
I'm, like, learning more
from just being in my space
and working on that
than like anything that
they're teaching me in class.
She was making more money
than she ever imagined.
And eventually, he became
the only client she saw.
All her fears about making it
as an artist disappeared.
I just might keep you forever.
The same house
with the same backdoor ♪
The same secrets
in the bottom drawer ♪
The way back home
was dark that night ♪
Singing be-I-bickey-bye,
boom-boom-boom, let's go ♪
Yeah, let's go ♪
Someone's gotta know
what that means ♪
To build a dream
with hammer and nails ♪
Only to see it fade away ♪
One fine day ♪
The way back home
was dark that night ♪
Singing be-I-bickey-bye,
boom-boom-boom, let's go ♪
Let's go ♪
But even so ♪
Rosebuds will grow ♪
Rains wash away
this world ♪
Hola.
Yours truly
was working her way up.
First up, we got our G19.
It's affordable, dependable,
with a smooth black finish.
It's the go-to gun
for the everyday man.
No muss, no fuss.
It's light as a feather.
Now, next,
from our submachine gun line,
we have the APC.
Now, it's got
a four-and-a-half-inch barrel,
fully deployable stock,
and it's perfect
for concealment,
whether under a trench coat or
maybe for the missus' sundress.
It's affectionately
known as the spray-and-pray.
That's right, it's got
a cyclical rate of about
1,000 rounds per minute,
so you're gonna
wanna hold on tight.
Ten of those.
Ah.
See, I knew you'd say that.
But before you make
any decisions,
let me just introduce you
to my personal favorite.
Now, this is for those
who wanna intimidate with style.
Okay, this
is the AR-15.
I know a lot of Americans
have very strong feelings
about guns.
But if it's any consolation,
the majority of the weapons
I was selling
were headed to Mexico.
Pleasure doing business
with you, hombre.
At least Alamo
appreciated me.
There she is.
My employee of the month.
You know, you said
I'd get 3% commission, so.
You see, now I like that.
That's that ambition
right there.
You keep it up, young buck.
Hey, you know,
I'm trying to work
my way up and go legit.
Legit?
Yeah.
So, you don't think, uh,
what you're doing is legit?
I mean, do-- do you think
what we're doing is legit?
Legit's a funny word.
What does it even mean?
I mean, I think it just
means legal, right?
Hm.
You know history?
Um, not particularly.
Take the numbers racket.
The people used to run that
out of clubs just like this,
till the government came in
and shut it down.
Said it was illegal.
Sent niggas to prison.
But did that
make it go away?
- Did it?
- Hell, no.
They just made it bigger.
Mm, took it over
for themselves.
Can't set foot in a gas station
or a corner store
without seeing lotto,
- lotto, lotto.
- Lotto. Yeah.
Whole motherfucking
lot of lotto, right?
What's that tell you?
I-- I don't really know.
What was once illegal
is now legit.
- Yeah.
- That's what I was gonna say.
Question is
where's all that money go?
They say it funds
the education system.
That what they say?
Yeah.
And these kids are just getting
dumber and dumber.
Something ain't adding up.
- You know?
- I know that's right.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Do you have a moral problem
with what you're doing?
What?
No, I'm cool.
I'm, like, cool.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Let me tell you
something, young blood.
Hm.
Come here.
The only thing
that matters is power.
And how do you get power?
Money?
Bingo.
And what are you doing?
Making money.
Okay.
Bingo.
So, what the fuck
are you complaining about?
Little Miss Legit.
Mm. Shit.
This bitch done cross
the motherfuckin' line.
The girls, they traumatized.
Technically, they're tit for tat
with the pig.
- We started it.
- We didn't start,
she started it.
You happen to notice
who wasn't dancing tonight?
Tish, 'cause Laurie
motherfucking killed her ass.
- Fair point.
- It's a beautiful pig.
What that cracker-ass cunt
love most in this world?
Shit, her La-Z-Boy.
Anybody can get
a damn La-Z-Boy.
I'm talking about
breaking her heart.
I'm a perfect little guy.
Look at this.
What a good day.
What a good time out here.
Look at all this.
You're my perfect
little baby guy.
Paladin.
- Paladin?
- It's her parrot.
She has a parrot
named Paladin?
Yeah, she loves
that fucking thing.
Hm.
Maybe it's time
we paid Paladin a visit.
Who invited me
to the wedding?
Meanwhile,
I had made plans with Jules.
Me.
I don't think they're gonna
want me there.
Yeah, well, I want you there.
Well, you're not
getting married, they are.
Yeah, but they gave me
a plus-one,
so that means they trust me
to bring whoever I want.
Rue, I haven't seen
Nate or Cassie
since they graduated.
Yeah, but you're not
going for them.
You're going for me.
I don't know.
I'm your sugar daddy now.
Dress sexy.
Maddy didn't know
what she wanted more
to get in between
Nate and Cassie,
or make a little money.
Dude.
- Dude.
- Hold on.
What's going on?
Something's wrong.
He didn't even
come home last night.
- Wait, where was he?
- That's what I wanna know.
- He's probably nervous.
- About what?
He didn't do anything.
Don't step on the dress!
Fred had diarrhea
the whole week
leading up to our wedding.
You think diarrhea's bad?
Try getting a divorce.
Oh, my God, Mom!
I can't believe she had
the nerve to show her face.
I saw a little more
than her face.
Stop.
I didn't expect
to see you here.
I didn't expect to be here.
She's my plus-one.
Who is that?
I think she's an old friend
of Nate's.
Hm.
I don't remember her.
She's a good girl.
She's better than most.
I remember waiting
to walk down the aisle
towards your father,
just like today
filled with hope
and aspirations,
and all the smiling people.
They were so joyous.
Please rise for the bride.
And there I was
never realizing
it was the last happy moment
I'd share with your father.
God.
I looked so beautiful.
Before I started looking like
an anorexic witch.
Band was playing
a happy tune.
And who would have
expected we'd have such
terrible arguments.
I mean, disappearing
for days on end.
And as I marched
down the aisle,
like we're doing now,
it never occurred to me,
the brutality
of the man
that I never knew before.
It's like, how could
I be so naive?
Misjudging?
I mean, it's not like
a mistake you can fix.
You are everything to me.
You are my masterpiece.
Go get him.
Do you, Cassie,
take this man, Nate,
to be your lawfully
wedded husband
for as long
as you both shall live?
I do.
Do you, Nate,
take this woman, Cassie,
to be your lawfully
wedded wife
for as long as you both
shall live?
I do.
Nate, Cassie,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
Nate, you may kiss the bride.
When I fall in love ♪
It will be forever ♪
Or I'll never fall ♪
In love ♪
And the moment ♪
I can feel that ♪
You feel that way too ♪
Is when I fall in love ♪
With you ♪
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
What time?
Okay.
Alright, well,
I look forward
to seeing her.
The girl sticks
bowling balls of dope
up her butthole.
Yeah, and then
you put it up your nose.
She ain't
the relationship type.
You just mad
'cause I got to her first.
God damn.
What, she fuck
all your brain cells out?
No.
I just got off with Alamo.
He appreciate us
returning the pig?
Apparently, he's sending
Rue to do a pick-up.
You don't find that weird?
Well, he runs a whorehouse,
so he's gotta keep
his women doped up.
Shit, I mean,
maybe we should kidnap her.
- That's not a bad idea.
- Why the fuck not?
Why the fuck not?
- Why the fuck
- Could be fun.
I do miss her.
Can't believe
they actually got married.
I thought
it would be depressing,
but I was kind of moved.
Yeah, it looked like
they were in love.
I like the dress.
Yo.
You got a run to Laurie's.
I'm kind of, like,
at a wedding right now.
I'm not asking.
Sh-- okay, um,
yeah, yeah, no, I'll be there.
Okay.
Hey, Jules, don't hate me.
- What?
- I just-- I gotta go.
It's a work thing.
- What?
- Yeah, it's fine.
But I'll be back.
- We're-- no, we're here.
- I know, it's cool.
Don't worry.
You can be my plus-one.
We ready?
Pinch your nipple.
- Shit.
- Pull out
Something seemed off.
I had a hard time believing
it was business as usual.
But it wasn't like
I could say no.
You look beautiful.
I look chubby,
it's humiliating.
Oh, no, it'll get thinner
as it melts.
But I don't want my boobs
to melt too quickly.
Right here, guys.
I wanna go congratulate them.
Maybe wait a few weeks.
I don't want to be rude.
It's not rude.
- Should we go?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- No.
- Come on.
- No.
Why not?
- I feel love.
- Mm.
Mostly by my scotch.
Oh.
- Oh, look at that.
- Okay, well
Hey, waiter, round three.
Is that BB?
She's pregnant?
How much you wanna bet
she doesn't know
who the baby daddy is?
Hi!
- Hi!
- I missed you so much.
How are you?
Aw. Did you change your number?
Mm.
I'm Cal Jacobs.
Most of you know me.
Some have probably
heard about me.
That's the past.
- Alright.
- Get ready to take the mic.
Tonight, I'm the proud father
of the groom.
Nate, you and I
have been through a lot.
We have.
But I always believed in you.
You're a winner.
Look at your wife.
I mean, who in here can say
they married better than him?
Oh, goddamn straight, baby.
Alright.
I'm gonna keep drinking.
You keep drinking.
Nate, I love you.
Please, please ♪
Please ♪
- Uh, tequila soda, please.
- You got it.
Remember me?
How could I forget?
It's not every day you fuck
one of your son's
high school classmates.
And record it.
Ah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm-- I'm very sorry
about that part.
Are you?
It wasn't for
distribution purposes.
I just wanted
to jerk off to it, you know?
Relive the experience.
When I heard
you got arrested,
I kept expecting the cops
to call me.
Yeah, there was a video
I got busted for.
Fucked a guy who was
two-and-a-half months away
from turning 18.
Lied about his age,
just like you.
But somehow, your video
never made it to the police.
Someone must have been
looking out for me.
Can't say the same.
I copped a plea deal,
ended up on the fuckin'
sex offender registry.
So, like, you're one
of those red dots?
Modern-day scarlet letter.
Can't even drive
by a fuckin' school.
Have fun looking
for an apartment
when you're on that list.
I'm surprised you
still talk to Nate.
Ah, it's easier
than being alone and angry.
I love you so ♪
You're about to receive
a collect call
from an inmate at a California
correctional facility.
Press one
to accept the charges.
Fez?
Bro!
Bro, I fucking miss you, bro!
Please ♪
I love you so ♪
I just wish everyone
didn't think I was a pedo.
You do like 'em young.
But legal.
You cut it
a little close though.
Ehh.
Youth is beautiful.
Who wants to fuck
an old person?
I guess sometimes I do.
You don't mind the cellulite?
The fucking skin tags?
I think I like
the perspective.
Perspective?
I call that youthful idealism.
You know, high school,
best years of our lives.
I couldn't disagree more.
Well, for what it's worth,
you still look fantastic.
Thank you.
- I love you so ♪
- Oh ♪
- Have fun.
- Oh, mama ♪
Oh, daddy ♪
Hi, um
I'm Marsha.
Mother of the groom.
You know, as a--
as a mom of a boy,
you sometimes, uh,
you gotta bite your tongue.
You know, when--
when he brings home a girl
that you know isn't right.
Yeah.
And, uh, that happened.
Yeah.
But then--
then he found Cassie.
And we love her so much.
And I just wanted to say
thank you, everyone,
for making it here to celebrate
the, uh, new
Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs,
because we're divorced.
Just-- I just wanted to say
I love you guys.
Um, welcome to the family.
Raise your glasses, please.
Love you guys.
Thank you. Mwah.
When you came
down the aisle,
I just burst into tears.
Oh, thank you.
So sweet.
Hey.
You know, I've never seen
so many flowers in my life.
I was just gonna call you back,
but, uh, everything with
the wedding got crazy.
I'm trying really hard
not to be offended.
My invitation must have
got lost in the mail.
Oh, that was
probably my fault.
I was doing all the invitations.
What's your name?
Nassim.
Naz for short.
- I'm Cassie.
- Nice to meet you.
Now, but if you
don't know who I am,
how could you be sorry
for not inviting me, huh?
Hey, why don't we go talk
- somewhere privately,
you and I?
- Sit down.
Don't you think
it's a little foolish
to throw such a lavish party
when you owe
so many people money?
Up, now.
Alright, what's?
I just heard
Nate owes someone
- a lot of money.
- Owes?
It's okay.
I have the money.
You may have the money.
- I don't have the money.
- What money?
What do you think?
I'm just some punk
that you can bullshit?
No. No, no, no.
No, not at all, Naz.
- Not at all.
- Really? I mean,
I see champagne, I see lobster,
I see black caviar.
We chose the menu
six months ago.
And did you pay
for this fucking thing
six months ago?
- What are you talking about?
- Some guy just threatened him.
He had an accent.
Russian, I don't know.
I promise you, I will get you
every last dollar.
You know,
you always promise,
but you never say when.
When do you promise?
Because promise
without when,
it's just useless
exchange of words.
What is going on?
I-- I'm in the middle
of my wedding.
- Nate, who is this guy?
- It's okay.
You know, I used to be
your husband's friend.
Now, I'm gonna become
his worst fucking nightmare.
I'm sure it's
a misunderstanding, sweetheart.
We gave him money.
A lot of fucking money.
I know, I know.
Let's bring the anxiety down.
Okay? I'll talk to him.
Enjoy this moment.
It's okay.
It's totally fine.
Hey, is everything okay?
Of course.
It's my wedding day.
Okay. I was just asking.
What a weird question to ask
on the best day of my life.
I love you.
Let's give it up
- Smile. Smile.
- for Nate Jacobs
and his beautiful, smokin',
hot-to-trot, foxy mama
Cassie Jacobs.
I do not feel good
about this.
Alright!
What did he mean
by nightmare?
Baby, it's nothing.
Just remember your steps.
Smile.
She wears my ring ♪
To show the world ♪
- How much money do you owe?
- We'll be fine, baby.
We just have
to downsize a little.
Downsize?
I do not want to downsize.
To tell the world ♪
Trust me. I love you.
This tiny ring ♪
Is a token ♪
Of tender emotion ♪
An endless pool of love ♪
That's as deep as ♪
I don't wanna be poor.
Don't cry. Smile.
She says she'll wear it ♪
With eternal devotion ♪
Yeah, sexy!
That's why I sing ♪
Because she wears ♪
My ring ♪
Escape?
What the fuck are you
talking about, escape?
How are you gonna do that?
Parkour?
Like the fucking-- the people
who, like, jump off shit
and shit?
That's how you're gonna escape?
What the fuck, bro?
Are you-- are you serious?
Yeah, I feel you.
How 'bout this?
If you do get out
using, what, fucking parkour
or whatever the fuck,
I'll come pick you up myself.
Bless, bless, one love.
Love you, bro.
Be safe, alright?
Everybody,
"to the window."
To the window ♪
To the wall ♪
Till the sweat
drop down my balls ♪
Till all these
bitches crawl ♪
Till all skeet-skeet,
motherfucker ♪
Till all
skeet-skeet, goddamn ♪
Till all skeet-skeet,
motherfucker ♪
Till all
skeet-skeet, goddamn ♪
When I was in the middle
of construction,
right, they find
a white fritillary,
shut the whole
development down.
- A what?
- A white fritillary.
What is that, a fucking bird?
No, it's a flower.
It's-- it's an endangered
flower.
But the whole thing's on pause
so the city can find out
- how to move this fucking thing.
- One flower?
Oh, it's-- it's more
than one flower.
It's like half a dozen flowers.
But I'm-- I'm fucked.
I'm burning through money
right now, Fred.
Let me hear you
shout, "What, what!"
It's all making sense.
- What?
- You and your little porno site.
I deleted that.
- Nate put you up to it?
- What? No.
He's pimping out his wife
for wedding decorations?
No, I did that.
So, you knew he was broke?
He's broke?
You can look it up,
you can google it, this is a--
this is a real thing,
a white fritillary.
Can you fucking believe it?
A flower, Fred.
I don't know
what to believe anymore.
I got a meeting with the P&Z
in a couple of weeks, alright?
We're gonna win
this case, Freddie.
Don't fucking lie to me.
Hey.
He might owe some people
some money,
but he's definitely not broke.
He's very successful.
He's not.
He's successful
at fucking conning people.
Freddie, say it--
say it with me.
Say it with me.
Fuck the flower.
- Fuck the flower.
- That's right.
- Fuck the flower.
- Fuck that flower.
We invested
our kids' college funds.
And what does that
have to do with me?
In the meantime, tell your wife,
"Please, just shut the fuck up."
- I'll take care of my wife.
- Okay.
Alright. Take care of this.
You have my word.
- Fuck that flower.
- Fuck that fucking flower.
Congratulations, dude.
Fuck.
Nice car.
I'll follow you.
Okay.
You're not gonna do anything
fucking crazy, are you?
Define "crazy."
Gun.
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
That was cute.
Come on in.
Hi, you've reached the office
of Madeleine Perez.
Please leave your name
and number at the tone--
You are the last person
I expected to be here.
I came here
with Rue and Maddy.
Oh.
What happened to 'em?
Rue had, like, a work thing.
And I think Maddy got
a little more emotional
than she anticipated.
You love who you love.
Thank you for coming.
Sure.
Ruby Bennett.
I didn't realize
you'd be bringing company.
Alamo would like you to know
that he could start buying
from your competitors.
He even finds them
less unsavory.
Okay, well, I would like Alamo
to know that I don't care
if he buys from
J. Edgar Hoover.
We're not hurting
for customers.
He prefers your prices.
Then what the fuck
we talking about?
Quality control.
Alamo insists
we test everything.
Fine by us.
Faye, grab some of the kits.
- Go on, get.
- Yo.
Faye's allowed in the basement?
Yeah, 'cause that's my lady.
Boy fell for
the local mattress.
What's this
beautiful bird's name?
Paladin.
Incredible.
Do you like animals?
I love them.
Fuck, I love
those fuckin' lips.
- Mm.
- Bet you could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose.
- You're just jealous.
- Of what?
Catching AIDS?
One more word, I'll knock
your fucking teeth out.
Okey-dokey, faggot.
We really miss you
around here.
What would it take
to get you to come back?
I don't know.
Profit participation?
I mean, honestly,
I'm-- I'm really happy
working for Alamo.
That doesn't make me
feel good.
I'm sorry.
Remember,
the grass is always greener
by the septic tank.
I don't even believe
in marriage.
A hundred years ago,
they would have sold me
for three healthy cows
and a parcel of land.
Are you a virgin?
It's better than herpes.
Ahh.
You're not who
you say you are.
Cass, come on, come here.
You want me to be
the perfect housewife?
You want me to cook,
and clean,
- and suck your cock?
- Cassie, people can hear you--
I mean, we don't even
have money for food.
We have
money for food.
You're not a man.
Men provide.
Cassie, all-- all I do
is provide for you, baby.
- Come on, sit down.
- Oh, so now it's my fault?
I'm the reason you're conning
all of your fucking neighbors?!
Is that what you're fucking
telling everyone, Nate?
You're just fucking lying!
All you do is fucking lie!
You lie and you lie.
Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
Ow!
Fuck!
Want you to show me ♪
Dude, I know you're pissed,
but I'm pretty sure
that was just an accident.
It's like a pressure thing,
you know?
Corks just pop off.
See?
Some dreams do come true.
Aw.
I know you're upset.
I just didn't want to tell you
before the wedding.
I wanted it to be the most
beautiful day of your life.
Well, it was the worst.
Yep.
And I got us into this mess.
Mm, and I promise you,
I am gonna get us out of it.
There is no obstacle,
Cassie Jacobs,
that I can't get over.
Especially with you
by my side, baby.
I I love you.
I am so grateful
to call you my wife.
And every day, you make me
want to be a better man.
You make me wanna be
a better husband.
And, you know, h-hopefully
someday a father.
I love you,
Cassie Jacobs.
Even if I-- I can't see out
of this fucking eye right now.
Well, you deserved it.
Eh
Maybe. Maybe.
Now, when we get home
I'm gonna pick you up.
And I'm gonna carry you
across the threshold,
take you upstairs
to our bedroom
and I'm gonna
make love to you.
If that's okay.
I guess that's okay.
And when we wake up tomorrow
It'll be a new day.
What are you doing?
Taking a souvenir.
You name him
after Richard Boone?
I didn't know Blacks
liked westerns.
Uh, yo, Bishop, we're good.
It's not a Black
and white thing.
It's cowboys and Indians.
Civilized man
versus the savage.
And which are you?
I'm a motherfucking cowboy.
Gun, please.
Bye, guys.
Good to see you.
That's so mean!
How romantic.
That was a beautiful wedding.
I didn't want
to cause a scene.
Naz.
Can we talk about this?
- Fuck.
- Nate?
Nate!
No!
I'm bleeding!
This is my wedding night.
He doesn't wanna
listen to reason.
He doesn't ever wanna listen.
No! No! No! No!
Don't cry,
it messes up your makeup.
It's already messed up.
This is so unfair!
It was supposed to be
the best day of my life.
What are you doing?
Please, please, please!
What are you doing? No!
What is happening right now?
Please!
Please, please, please.
I have your money.
I'm gonna get your money.
Please, no.
Stop.
Please!
I just need a couple of days.
I just need a couple of days.
You mean,
like the honeymoon period, huh?
Yes! Yes. Yes.
Unfortunately,
your honeymoon's over.
You know, Cassie,
some women inherit wealth,
but others inherit debt.
And the angel of the Lord
appeared to him
in a flame of fire
from the midst of a bush.
So, he looked, and behold,
the bush was
burning with fire,
but the bush
was not consumed.
Then, Moses said
Fuck.
Shit. Fuck.
Ruby Bennett?
Yeah.
DEA.
Step out of the vehicle
with your hands above your head.
Nice and slow.
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
Have Gun, Will Travel
reads the card of a man ♪
A knight without armor
in a savage land ♪
His fast gun for hire
heeds the calling wind ♪
A soldier of fortune
is the man called ♪
Paladin ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
He travels on
to wherever he must ♪
A chess knight of silver
is his badge of trust ♪
There are campfire legends
that the Blade's men spin ♪
Of the man with the gun,
of the man called ♪
Paladin ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Where do you roam? ♪
Paladin, Paladin ♪
Far, far from home ♪
Far from home ♪
Far from home ♪