Happy Days (1974) s03e03 Episode Script
Fearless Fonzarelli: Part 1
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
My friends say I'm acting wild as a bug ♪
I'm in love Uh, I'm all shook up ♪
Happy Days is filmed before a live audience.
Ooh, hey doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ♪
Well my hands are shaking and my knees are weak ♪
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet ♪
Who do you thank when you have such luck? ♪
I'm in love Uh, I'm all shook up ♪
Ooh ooh, hey, hey, doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop. ♪
We'll split it.
Remember, you took a sip of mine
A dime each, sport, a dime each.
No sweat, guys, the whole 30 cents is on me.
No sweat at all.
All right Great.
$1.50!
You're starting to sweat, Ralph.
Are they crazy?
I haven't got $1.50.
Wait, girls, I'll borrow.
What is this?
50 cent booth minimum!
Minimum, is he crazy?
Wait a minute, where's Arnold.
Get Arnold out here.
Forget it. Arnold doesn't like to leave the kitchen.
He thinks the help is stealing food.
We're not paying this check. You're right.
Hey, everybody, Arnold's trying to get away with
a 50 cent minimum.
Are we going to stand for that?
No!
Let's get Arnold out here. Yeah, we want Arnold.
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
We want Arnold!
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
We want Arnold!
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
What is this dew-wop, dew-wop?
This check. It's too much.
Yeah, why are you so cheap?
This joint's always packed.
Packed? Sure, but no money.
You kids take up space with small soda
and big dew-wops. There's no money in dew-wops.
But you need us.
Yeah, like Caucasian flu.
Wait a minute, Arnold, this is ridiculous.
50 cents is a lot of money.
If my Milwaukee Fried Chicken Take-Out Stand make money,
I don't need a minimum.
What chicken stand?
Ah, you see?
Nobody even know about it.
It's been there for eight months.
Where?
Parking lot.
I don't understand
I put up signs, I advertise
radio, newspapers still nobody know Arnold sell chicken.
I didn't know. I didn't know he sold chicken.
I could have been big hit in San Francisco.
You wait until Fonzie hears about this.
Dew-wop.
Hey, guys it's Paula Petrolunda
When she walks, even the Jell-O stands still.
She's so tall.
Yeah, but she's worth the climb.
Sorry, Fonzie, I got something to do.
Yeah, well I got something to do too, I was just practicing.
Hey, plant.
We can't.
What is this?
First Petrolunda says she can't stay
and then I get backtalk from Potsie.
What's everybody doing?
Taking a holiday from being cool?
We can't even sit down.
Arnold put in a 50 cent minimum.
Hey, it figures.
What are you going to do about it, Fonz?
Yeah, what are you going to do about it?
Pay it.
Are you all right?
Hey, Cunningham, would you please sit down.
I only got a minute.
Well, the minimum and everything
Look, it's my treat sit down.
You two, why don't you go finger paint
in the corner or something.
You're not going to pay it, are you, Fonz?
I mean, that's just a trick.
Cunningham, I don't know.
Weird things are happening
strange things things that never happened before.
Like this 50 cent minimum?
No, worse.
Something's happening to the Fonz.
What is it?
This morning, an 18-year-old punk
pulls into my garage, he says,
"Hey, my carburetor needs adjusting.
You think you can handle it, kid?"
"Kid"?!
Well, he must have been from out of town.
You know what's happening?
No, what?
I'm losing it.
Losing what, Fonz?
Losing what?
I'm losing my cool.
Oh, no, you're probably just having a slump.
Hey.
Everybody goes through slumps.
I mean, even Mantle and Mays, those guys go
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not talking about grown men
chasing little balls around a field.
I'm talking about the Fonz losing his cool.
All right now, maybe it is a slump
and then again maybe it is not.
Whatever it is, I got to snap out of this fast.
Oh, yeah I got a customer coming down to the garage?
He says if I'm late he's going to beat me up.
I am going to look ridiculous
wrestling with an 80-year-old man.
Fonz. Yeah.
Could you come here a minute? Yeah.
We don't have any change.
We thought maybe you could start the jukebox.
Yeah, could you give it the old Fonz touch?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm in a slump.
What's on TV?
Oh, my favorite show, You Wanted To See It.
Sure, I missed it last week.
Why don't you fix the horizontal.
Everybody looks short and fat.
I like it that way.
Where were you, Rich?
I was up in Fonzie's room.
He may be down a little bit later.
I thought he had a date.
He did, but something happened.
Fonzie doesn't have a date?
Don't ask him about it. He's very depressed.
Fonzie doesn't have a date?
Will you just let me watch the show, then I'll be his date.
Hi there, and welcome to You Wanted To I See It.
We recently received a letter from young Jason Haas
in Bethesda, Maryland, and he writes,
"Dear Mr. Smith, the last time I was taking a bath,
"my mother told me about a family that can live, eat, swim,
"and even play gin rummy under water.
If this is true, I want to see it."
Well, Jason, here they are.
Oh, now how can they do that
without getting the cards all soggy?
Maybe they're playing "Go Fish".
Good one, Joanie.
Now where do they think of these things?
People write in.
Yeah, it's true.
Ralph writes in every week but they never put his letter on.
Well, what does he ask for?
A human sacrifice.
Well, if they'll show this,
I don't understand why they won't show that.
Look at all the free publicity these people are getting.
Boy, I wish they'd do that in my hardware store.
All your tools would rust.
I'm sorry, Howard.
Oh, that's probably Fonzie.
Hey, listen, try not to upset him.
He hasn't been himself all day, all right?
Hi, everybody.
Do you mind if I come in?
You're always welcome, Arthur.
How come you don't have a date, Fonzie?
Hey, hey, what is that, on the news?
The girl said her grandmother died.
So she said.
Well, these things happen.
They never used to.
Man, I got to do something.
Oh, come on, Fonz, get your mind off it.
We're watching You Wanted To See It.
Yeah, would anybody mind if I just pull up a chair?
Oh, yes, join us.
Come on. It's a good show.
Oh, yeah, I know this show.
You just ask them to do something and they do it
just like I used to be.
Why is everybody so short and fat?
I like it that way.
People living underwater
they're just crazy.
I should be so crazy.
Tomorrow they're all going to be celebrities.
Why did he play the queen?
Hey, hey, hey, is that true?
Celebrities?
Well, sure.
Whenever you do something exciting on television,
you become famous all over the country.
Those people there, they're bubbling their way to fame.
Myron Harkay writes in,
"I'm in the fourth grade in Peoria,
"and just the other day one of my buddies mentioned
"a Peruvian monk he heard of who can ride a llama
"through a flaming hoop."
"I want to see it."
"And you'll see it in just a minute."
How did some fourth grader in Peoria
find out about a Peruvian monk?
That's just what I am going to do.
You're going to ride a llama through a hoop?
No, I'll tell you something much better.
Are you going to play cards underwater?
No, that's for nerds.
What are you writing?
Hey, my slump is over. This is a big one, huh?
Okay, Richie, you write in,
you tell them this is what you want to see.
Wow, this is really big, Fonz.
Yeah, this is the biggest.
Well, what is it?
No, no. I want your parents to be surprised.
Mrs. Cunningham, you give this to a nerd.
The Fonz is back.
You Wanted To See It will return after this message.
Marion, are you sure that it's this week's show
that Richie wanted us to watch?
Yes, when he went to Potsie's he said if we watched tonight,
we'd get the surprise of our lives.
I'm already surprised.
Here the kids have left us alone in the house
and you want to watch television.
I like it when you're frisky, Howard.
Oh, the commercial's over.
And now a word about next week's show.
Little Richie Cunningham of Milwaukee
has written to tell us about a real daredevil.
And that's why next week, we'll be going live,
direct from the parking lot of Arnold's Drive In
home of the original "Milwaukee Fried Chicken Stand".
I didn't know he had chicken.
The man in this picture is Arthur Fonzarelli,
better known as "Fearless Fonzarelli."
Our Fonzie?
Does he have a twin?
Next week he'll attempt, and listen to this
He'll attempt to leap his motorcycle
over a world record 14 garbage cans,
beating the old record of 12,
set by the late Big Daddy Baylor, rest his soul.
Yes, next week, on You Wanted To See It,
Fearless Fonzarelli will risk his very life.
And you say there's nothing good on television.
Okay, okay, that's good that's perfect.
Aw, too high, too high.
Oh okay, yeah, yeah, that's good.
Good, good.
Tomorrow night going to be
the biggest night in chicken history.
Let me see, I ordered 400 extra wings
Boy, Arnold, are you lucky.
I mean, Fonzie could have made this jump anywhere,
and somebody else would have gotten all the publicity.
What you mean, lucky?
It cost me plenty to have the jump here.
I buy the costume, I buy the ramp he using
And you promised to take off the 50 cent minimum, right?
Yeah, yeah, I help everybody.
Does anyone say, "Thank you, Arnold"?
No.
You know what they say?
Sit on it, Arnold. Sit on it, Arnold.
That's what they say.
Here comes the Fonz.
I got 'em back, Malph.
We're all ready for your big jump, Fonz.
Yeah, right, right.
You're looking good, Fonz.
Hey, only good, Malph, only good?
No, no, great Fonz, you're looking great.
All right.
Hey, you should see all the TV stuff back there.
Jack Smith's getting out of his car.
Wow! In person!
Hi, uh, I'm Burt Collins, Jack Smith's assistant.
Uh, which one of you guys is, uh, Fearless?
Are you Fearless?
No, I chicken.
Sir, right down here, right over here.
Oh, hi, hi.
This is Fonzie, and I'm his best friend, Ralph Malph.
Malph, Ralph Malph?
Where'd I hear that name before?
I'm not only Fonzie's best friend,
but I also handle his promotion
and all his business affairs.
Oh, you're the nut that keeps writing in every week
and asking for a human sacrifice.
You got my letters.
It's a small world.
Hey, uh, I'm, uh, Burt Collins.
I have some papers here we'd like you to sign.
Oh, Burt
Oh, Jack, Jack, I'd like you to meet Fearless Fonzarelli.
They, they made me buy chicken.
It's a write-off, Jack.
Sit down, kid.
I just wanted to wish you luck, Fearless.
It'll be a great show. Yeah, of course.
We're sitting over here, Jack.
I'm Ralph Malph, Mr. Malph.
I'll tell you about him later.
Uh, Burt, Burt, sir.
You got my letters, huh.
Yeah, yeah.
Say, uh, we never did do that
human sacrifice for you, did we?
No.
You know, uh, this show, we might just be
killing two birds with one stone.
What do you mean?
You don't think Fonzie's going to make it?
No one has even come close to 14 cans.
This crazy nut may be the
first nationally televised suicide.
Wait a minute, if no one's been close,
why are you letting him do it?
Because, "You Wanted To See It".
I just wanted to see a plain human sacrifice.
A stranger.
Fonz, I got to talk to you.
Yeah, yeah. Hey, they want me to sign these crazy papers.
"Special Liability Release
in Case of Fatal or Near Fatal Collision."
It figures.
Hey, what figures?
The Fonz never cracks up.
That's what I've got to talk to you about.
I called up the newspaper to get some information.
All right now did you know that Big Daddy Baylor
jumped over 12 garbage cans in 1946?
So?
So since then a lot of guys
have tried to do 13, Fonz,
and none of them have made it.
A lot of guys, huh?
A lot.
Well, that's because 13 is an unlucky number.
That's why I'm taking 14 cans.
But why do you have to jump?
Hey, to get out of this slump, huh?
Hey, observe.
Whoa.
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪
Cryin' all the time ♪
You ain't never caught a rabbit ♪
And you ain't no friend of mine. ♪
Hey, is this, uh, The Milwaukee Journal?
Yeah, yeah, what is all this stuff you're handing out
about guys jumping 13 cans on their bikes
and smashing up?
Yeah?
Yeah.
That many, huh?
Well, listen, uh, are any of them still, uh, you know
None of them, huh?
No, no, thanks a lot, that's all right.
What?
No, I don't want a subscription.
I may not be around to use it.
Oh.
I, Arthur Fonzarelli,
being of sound mind Yeah, Fonzie's free.
Got a minute, Fonz?
Yeah, sure, yeah.
My dad wants to talk to you.
That's great, Richie. Just sit down for a minute.
I want you to help me here.
You're going to start writing from where I left off.
You got good penmanship, all right?
And, uh, your quickest hand now, all right?
Leave all my worldly possessions
Is this a will?
Oh, no.
It's a letter to Santa Claus telling him I moved.
Howard, I thought you were going to speak to Fonzie.
Well I will, just as soon as he comes down here.
Well he's probably busy. Why don't you go up there?
If he's busy, Marion, he doesn't want me up there.
It's your duty as a father.
I'm not his father.
Well, it's your duty as a landlord.
Why didn't she say that in the first place?
My entire comb collection, intact
No. This is ridiculous.
I'm not going to do this, Fonz.
Hey, hey, are you talking back?
Come in, come in quick.
What are you guys doing?
I thought you were coming down.
Nothing, we're not doing anything.
He's writing out his will.
Hey, if I wanted your father to know that,
I would have told him myself.
A will, huh. Well, that's one of the reasons
I came up here to talk to you.
Mom asked him to.
Hey, listen, if I wanted him to know that,
I would have told him myself.
Now, look, Fonzie, when I found out
that you were going to try and jump over 14 garbage cans,
well, I wasn't very concerned because I figured
you knew what you were doing, that you'd done it before.
Hey, if I had done it before, where would the trick be?
Yeah, but don't you see?
Richie told me that a lot of guys have tried
I know about a lot of guys, they were all nerds.
Yeah, but the fact is, Fonz, that they had special bikes,
and you're just going to be using a regular street bike.
And that is all I'm going to need.
Now listen, I said I was going to do it,
and I'm going to do it.
How can I be the Fonz if I go back on my word?
We could tell everybody you're sick.
Who'd know the difference?
High Noon.
What?
Yeah, High Noon remember that picture? Right?
Grace Kelly thought that Gary Cooper
was going to get wiped out,
so she tried to convince Gary Cooper
to go back on his word.
Hey, you know, he should have belted her one.
Hey, just do me a favor, all right, Rich?
You just type this up for me, all right?
And get out of here, I need a lot of sleep.
I got something very big to do tomorrow night.
We tried, Dad.
How can you reason with a man who'd punch Grace Kelly?
They don't understand.
We should get free chicken for setting up your dance floor.
Yeah, you can eat all the wings you want.
Nobody like wings.
Everybody like drumstick.
Even her.
Hey, Fonzie.
Fonzie's almost ready. He's combing his hair.
Combing his hair? That will take an hour.
Hey kid, kid, yeah, you take this to the stand,
and you push the wings.
Boy, my drumsticks going like hotcakes.
Maybe I should have sold hotcakes.
We want Fonzie! We want Fonzie! We want Fonzie!
There's quite a crowd.
Don't you understand, Marion?
It's a big attraction.
Step right up, everybody, and watch a garage mechanic
get broken into 42 separate pieces.
Richie, quick.
Fonzie needs another comb.
I got one.
He wanted a blue one.
I'm not good at these jobs.
There's Jack Smith. He's on the air.
Fonzie's not a boarder, he's like one of the family.
If only we'd been watching Arthur Murray that night,
none of this would have happened.
Marion, don't blame yourself.
I'm not. I'm blaming you.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen,
tonight, live, from Arnold's Drive-In
and Milwaukee Fried Chicken Stand,
You Wanted To See It brings you
one of the most exciting events
it's ever been our privilege to bring you.
Thank goodness this letter was sent to us.
It's from little Richie Cunningham
from Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
who wants to see Arthur Fonzarelli,
known as Fearless Fonzarelli, leap his motorcycle
over 14, yes, 14 garbage cans.
A man, a motorcycle,
and a lot of intestinal fortitude.
Wings wings push the wings.
Right now, Fearless is inside Arnold's Drive-In
with a few friends,
looking for that moment of truth.
All right, everybody, it's Fearless Fonzarelli.
All right, this is it. This is High Noon.
It's a lovely outfit, Arthur.
Hey, this is show biz.
Look, Fonzie, I have seen the garbage cans,
and I've seen the ramp,
and the length of the jump.
Now, are you sure you can do this?
If I was sure I could do it, you know
Yeah, it wouldn't be a trick.
Well, listen, how many times do you know a guy
that can uh, go up to a jukebox
rap it and have a song come out.
This is no time for music.
Well good luck, Arthur.
Hey, thanks, Mrs. C.
All right now, Mr. C
you're going to take care of everything, right? Right.
All right, and if anything happens,
you just go right ahead and rent my room.
Don't worry, Arthur,
I'm sure we're not going to need to rent your room.
Hey, you never can tell.
Yeah, I'll tell you something, Mr. C.,
you can make more money if you turn it into a museum.
All right, let's go.
Wait a minute, Fonz.
Can we talk to you for a minute?
Yeah. Yeah, excuse me.
Listen, we've been thinking about this
and, and we don't want you to go through with it.
Really, Fonz.
We don't want to see you get hurt.
You don't have to prove anything to us.
We know you're cool.
Yeah, you guys know I'm cool,
but there are a lot of people out there
that have never seen cool.
Sad, but true.
The people who want to see you do this
are not your real friends, Fonz.
So what you're telling me is that I'm cool
even if I don't go out there, huh?
Yeah. We sure are.
Well, you're good friends, huh.
You're all mentioned in my will.
Don't talk about that.
We don't care about a will.
What do I get?
All right.
No time for second thoughts now, huh?
There's been enough chicken already.
Hey, Shortcake,
I want to see a smile on your face, huh?
Hey let's go.
Well, it sounds like he's about to come out the door.
Yes, here he comes here's Fonzarelli.
Stay tuned, 'cause in just one moment,
we'll be back for the jump.
He starts it up.
Oh, I hope he make it.
If he miss, he going to spoil everybody's appetite.
Oh, he's just practicing, that's all. Yeah, yeah.
Trying to get a feel
I'm worried Fonzie's going to break his neck.
No, he's not.
I don't care what he leaves me. I hope he can do it.
Good-bye gray sky, hello blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I'm with you ♪
Feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Of feeling free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
My friends say I'm acting wild as a bug ♪
I'm in love Uh, I'm all shook up ♪
Happy Days is filmed before a live audience.
Ooh, hey doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ♪
Well my hands are shaking and my knees are weak ♪
I can't seem to stand on my own two feet ♪
Who do you thank when you have such luck? ♪
I'm in love Uh, I'm all shook up ♪
Ooh ooh, hey, hey, doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop. ♪
We'll split it.
Remember, you took a sip of mine
A dime each, sport, a dime each.
No sweat, guys, the whole 30 cents is on me.
No sweat at all.
All right Great.
$1.50!
You're starting to sweat, Ralph.
Are they crazy?
I haven't got $1.50.
Wait, girls, I'll borrow.
What is this?
50 cent booth minimum!
Minimum, is he crazy?
Wait a minute, where's Arnold.
Get Arnold out here.
Forget it. Arnold doesn't like to leave the kitchen.
He thinks the help is stealing food.
We're not paying this check. You're right.
Hey, everybody, Arnold's trying to get away with
a 50 cent minimum.
Are we going to stand for that?
No!
Let's get Arnold out here. Yeah, we want Arnold.
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
We want Arnold!
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
We want Arnold!
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
What is this dew-wop, dew-wop?
This check. It's too much.
Yeah, why are you so cheap?
This joint's always packed.
Packed? Sure, but no money.
You kids take up space with small soda
and big dew-wops. There's no money in dew-wops.
But you need us.
Yeah, like Caucasian flu.
Wait a minute, Arnold, this is ridiculous.
50 cents is a lot of money.
If my Milwaukee Fried Chicken Take-Out Stand make money,
I don't need a minimum.
What chicken stand?
Ah, you see?
Nobody even know about it.
It's been there for eight months.
Where?
Parking lot.
I don't understand
I put up signs, I advertise
radio, newspapers still nobody know Arnold sell chicken.
I didn't know. I didn't know he sold chicken.
I could have been big hit in San Francisco.
You wait until Fonzie hears about this.
Dew-wop.
Hey, guys it's Paula Petrolunda
When she walks, even the Jell-O stands still.
She's so tall.
Yeah, but she's worth the climb.
Sorry, Fonzie, I got something to do.
Yeah, well I got something to do too, I was just practicing.
Hey, plant.
We can't.
What is this?
First Petrolunda says she can't stay
and then I get backtalk from Potsie.
What's everybody doing?
Taking a holiday from being cool?
We can't even sit down.
Arnold put in a 50 cent minimum.
Hey, it figures.
What are you going to do about it, Fonz?
Yeah, what are you going to do about it?
Pay it.
Are you all right?
Hey, Cunningham, would you please sit down.
I only got a minute.
Well, the minimum and everything
Look, it's my treat sit down.
You two, why don't you go finger paint
in the corner or something.
You're not going to pay it, are you, Fonz?
I mean, that's just a trick.
Cunningham, I don't know.
Weird things are happening
strange things things that never happened before.
Like this 50 cent minimum?
No, worse.
Something's happening to the Fonz.
What is it?
This morning, an 18-year-old punk
pulls into my garage, he says,
"Hey, my carburetor needs adjusting.
You think you can handle it, kid?"
"Kid"?!
Well, he must have been from out of town.
You know what's happening?
No, what?
I'm losing it.
Losing what, Fonz?
Losing what?
I'm losing my cool.
Oh, no, you're probably just having a slump.
Hey.
Everybody goes through slumps.
I mean, even Mantle and Mays, those guys go
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not talking about grown men
chasing little balls around a field.
I'm talking about the Fonz losing his cool.
All right now, maybe it is a slump
and then again maybe it is not.
Whatever it is, I got to snap out of this fast.
Oh, yeah I got a customer coming down to the garage?
He says if I'm late he's going to beat me up.
I am going to look ridiculous
wrestling with an 80-year-old man.
Fonz. Yeah.
Could you come here a minute? Yeah.
We don't have any change.
We thought maybe you could start the jukebox.
Yeah, could you give it the old Fonz touch?
Yeah.
Hey, I'm in a slump.
What's on TV?
Oh, my favorite show, You Wanted To See It.
Sure, I missed it last week.
Why don't you fix the horizontal.
Everybody looks short and fat.
I like it that way.
Where were you, Rich?
I was up in Fonzie's room.
He may be down a little bit later.
I thought he had a date.
He did, but something happened.
Fonzie doesn't have a date?
Don't ask him about it. He's very depressed.
Fonzie doesn't have a date?
Will you just let me watch the show, then I'll be his date.
Hi there, and welcome to You Wanted To I See It.
We recently received a letter from young Jason Haas
in Bethesda, Maryland, and he writes,
"Dear Mr. Smith, the last time I was taking a bath,
"my mother told me about a family that can live, eat, swim,
"and even play gin rummy under water.
If this is true, I want to see it."
Well, Jason, here they are.
Oh, now how can they do that
without getting the cards all soggy?
Maybe they're playing "Go Fish".
Good one, Joanie.
Now where do they think of these things?
People write in.
Yeah, it's true.
Ralph writes in every week but they never put his letter on.
Well, what does he ask for?
A human sacrifice.
Well, if they'll show this,
I don't understand why they won't show that.
Look at all the free publicity these people are getting.
Boy, I wish they'd do that in my hardware store.
All your tools would rust.
I'm sorry, Howard.
Oh, that's probably Fonzie.
Hey, listen, try not to upset him.
He hasn't been himself all day, all right?
Hi, everybody.
Do you mind if I come in?
You're always welcome, Arthur.
How come you don't have a date, Fonzie?
Hey, hey, what is that, on the news?
The girl said her grandmother died.
So she said.
Well, these things happen.
They never used to.
Man, I got to do something.
Oh, come on, Fonz, get your mind off it.
We're watching You Wanted To See It.
Yeah, would anybody mind if I just pull up a chair?
Oh, yes, join us.
Come on. It's a good show.
Oh, yeah, I know this show.
You just ask them to do something and they do it
just like I used to be.
Why is everybody so short and fat?
I like it that way.
People living underwater
they're just crazy.
I should be so crazy.
Tomorrow they're all going to be celebrities.
Why did he play the queen?
Hey, hey, hey, is that true?
Celebrities?
Well, sure.
Whenever you do something exciting on television,
you become famous all over the country.
Those people there, they're bubbling their way to fame.
Myron Harkay writes in,
"I'm in the fourth grade in Peoria,
"and just the other day one of my buddies mentioned
"a Peruvian monk he heard of who can ride a llama
"through a flaming hoop."
"I want to see it."
"And you'll see it in just a minute."
How did some fourth grader in Peoria
find out about a Peruvian monk?
That's just what I am going to do.
You're going to ride a llama through a hoop?
No, I'll tell you something much better.
Are you going to play cards underwater?
No, that's for nerds.
What are you writing?
Hey, my slump is over. This is a big one, huh?
Okay, Richie, you write in,
you tell them this is what you want to see.
Wow, this is really big, Fonz.
Yeah, this is the biggest.
Well, what is it?
No, no. I want your parents to be surprised.
Mrs. Cunningham, you give this to a nerd.
The Fonz is back.
You Wanted To See It will return after this message.
Marion, are you sure that it's this week's show
that Richie wanted us to watch?
Yes, when he went to Potsie's he said if we watched tonight,
we'd get the surprise of our lives.
I'm already surprised.
Here the kids have left us alone in the house
and you want to watch television.
I like it when you're frisky, Howard.
Oh, the commercial's over.
And now a word about next week's show.
Little Richie Cunningham of Milwaukee
has written to tell us about a real daredevil.
And that's why next week, we'll be going live,
direct from the parking lot of Arnold's Drive In
home of the original "Milwaukee Fried Chicken Stand".
I didn't know he had chicken.
The man in this picture is Arthur Fonzarelli,
better known as "Fearless Fonzarelli."
Our Fonzie?
Does he have a twin?
Next week he'll attempt, and listen to this
He'll attempt to leap his motorcycle
over a world record 14 garbage cans,
beating the old record of 12,
set by the late Big Daddy Baylor, rest his soul.
Yes, next week, on You Wanted To See It,
Fearless Fonzarelli will risk his very life.
And you say there's nothing good on television.
Okay, okay, that's good that's perfect.
Aw, too high, too high.
Oh okay, yeah, yeah, that's good.
Good, good.
Tomorrow night going to be
the biggest night in chicken history.
Let me see, I ordered 400 extra wings
Boy, Arnold, are you lucky.
I mean, Fonzie could have made this jump anywhere,
and somebody else would have gotten all the publicity.
What you mean, lucky?
It cost me plenty to have the jump here.
I buy the costume, I buy the ramp he using
And you promised to take off the 50 cent minimum, right?
Yeah, yeah, I help everybody.
Does anyone say, "Thank you, Arnold"?
No.
You know what they say?
Sit on it, Arnold. Sit on it, Arnold.
That's what they say.
Here comes the Fonz.
I got 'em back, Malph.
We're all ready for your big jump, Fonz.
Yeah, right, right.
You're looking good, Fonz.
Hey, only good, Malph, only good?
No, no, great Fonz, you're looking great.
All right.
Hey, you should see all the TV stuff back there.
Jack Smith's getting out of his car.
Wow! In person!
Hi, uh, I'm Burt Collins, Jack Smith's assistant.
Uh, which one of you guys is, uh, Fearless?
Are you Fearless?
No, I chicken.
Sir, right down here, right over here.
Oh, hi, hi.
This is Fonzie, and I'm his best friend, Ralph Malph.
Malph, Ralph Malph?
Where'd I hear that name before?
I'm not only Fonzie's best friend,
but I also handle his promotion
and all his business affairs.
Oh, you're the nut that keeps writing in every week
and asking for a human sacrifice.
You got my letters.
It's a small world.
Hey, uh, I'm, uh, Burt Collins.
I have some papers here we'd like you to sign.
Oh, Burt
Oh, Jack, Jack, I'd like you to meet Fearless Fonzarelli.
They, they made me buy chicken.
It's a write-off, Jack.
Sit down, kid.
I just wanted to wish you luck, Fearless.
It'll be a great show. Yeah, of course.
We're sitting over here, Jack.
I'm Ralph Malph, Mr. Malph.
I'll tell you about him later.
Uh, Burt, Burt, sir.
You got my letters, huh.
Yeah, yeah.
Say, uh, we never did do that
human sacrifice for you, did we?
No.
You know, uh, this show, we might just be
killing two birds with one stone.
What do you mean?
You don't think Fonzie's going to make it?
No one has even come close to 14 cans.
This crazy nut may be the
first nationally televised suicide.
Wait a minute, if no one's been close,
why are you letting him do it?
Because, "You Wanted To See It".
I just wanted to see a plain human sacrifice.
A stranger.
Fonz, I got to talk to you.
Yeah, yeah. Hey, they want me to sign these crazy papers.
"Special Liability Release
in Case of Fatal or Near Fatal Collision."
It figures.
Hey, what figures?
The Fonz never cracks up.
That's what I've got to talk to you about.
I called up the newspaper to get some information.
All right now did you know that Big Daddy Baylor
jumped over 12 garbage cans in 1946?
So?
So since then a lot of guys
have tried to do 13, Fonz,
and none of them have made it.
A lot of guys, huh?
A lot.
Well, that's because 13 is an unlucky number.
That's why I'm taking 14 cans.
But why do you have to jump?
Hey, to get out of this slump, huh?
Hey, observe.
Whoa.
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪
Cryin' all the time ♪
You ain't never caught a rabbit ♪
And you ain't no friend of mine. ♪
Hey, is this, uh, The Milwaukee Journal?
Yeah, yeah, what is all this stuff you're handing out
about guys jumping 13 cans on their bikes
and smashing up?
Yeah?
Yeah.
That many, huh?
Well, listen, uh, are any of them still, uh, you know
None of them, huh?
No, no, thanks a lot, that's all right.
What?
No, I don't want a subscription.
I may not be around to use it.
Oh.
I, Arthur Fonzarelli,
being of sound mind Yeah, Fonzie's free.
Got a minute, Fonz?
Yeah, sure, yeah.
My dad wants to talk to you.
That's great, Richie. Just sit down for a minute.
I want you to help me here.
You're going to start writing from where I left off.
You got good penmanship, all right?
And, uh, your quickest hand now, all right?
Leave all my worldly possessions
Is this a will?
Oh, no.
It's a letter to Santa Claus telling him I moved.
Howard, I thought you were going to speak to Fonzie.
Well I will, just as soon as he comes down here.
Well he's probably busy. Why don't you go up there?
If he's busy, Marion, he doesn't want me up there.
It's your duty as a father.
I'm not his father.
Well, it's your duty as a landlord.
Why didn't she say that in the first place?
My entire comb collection, intact
No. This is ridiculous.
I'm not going to do this, Fonz.
Hey, hey, are you talking back?
Come in, come in quick.
What are you guys doing?
I thought you were coming down.
Nothing, we're not doing anything.
He's writing out his will.
Hey, if I wanted your father to know that,
I would have told him myself.
A will, huh. Well, that's one of the reasons
I came up here to talk to you.
Mom asked him to.
Hey, listen, if I wanted him to know that,
I would have told him myself.
Now, look, Fonzie, when I found out
that you were going to try and jump over 14 garbage cans,
well, I wasn't very concerned because I figured
you knew what you were doing, that you'd done it before.
Hey, if I had done it before, where would the trick be?
Yeah, but don't you see?
Richie told me that a lot of guys have tried
I know about a lot of guys, they were all nerds.
Yeah, but the fact is, Fonz, that they had special bikes,
and you're just going to be using a regular street bike.
And that is all I'm going to need.
Now listen, I said I was going to do it,
and I'm going to do it.
How can I be the Fonz if I go back on my word?
We could tell everybody you're sick.
Who'd know the difference?
High Noon.
What?
Yeah, High Noon remember that picture? Right?
Grace Kelly thought that Gary Cooper
was going to get wiped out,
so she tried to convince Gary Cooper
to go back on his word.
Hey, you know, he should have belted her one.
Hey, just do me a favor, all right, Rich?
You just type this up for me, all right?
And get out of here, I need a lot of sleep.
I got something very big to do tomorrow night.
We tried, Dad.
How can you reason with a man who'd punch Grace Kelly?
They don't understand.
We should get free chicken for setting up your dance floor.
Yeah, you can eat all the wings you want.
Nobody like wings.
Everybody like drumstick.
Even her.
Hey, Fonzie.
Fonzie's almost ready. He's combing his hair.
Combing his hair? That will take an hour.
Hey kid, kid, yeah, you take this to the stand,
and you push the wings.
Boy, my drumsticks going like hotcakes.
Maybe I should have sold hotcakes.
We want Fonzie! We want Fonzie! We want Fonzie!
There's quite a crowd.
Don't you understand, Marion?
It's a big attraction.
Step right up, everybody, and watch a garage mechanic
get broken into 42 separate pieces.
Richie, quick.
Fonzie needs another comb.
I got one.
He wanted a blue one.
I'm not good at these jobs.
There's Jack Smith. He's on the air.
Fonzie's not a boarder, he's like one of the family.
If only we'd been watching Arthur Murray that night,
none of this would have happened.
Marion, don't blame yourself.
I'm not. I'm blaming you.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen,
tonight, live, from Arnold's Drive-In
and Milwaukee Fried Chicken Stand,
You Wanted To See It brings you
one of the most exciting events
it's ever been our privilege to bring you.
Thank goodness this letter was sent to us.
It's from little Richie Cunningham
from Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
who wants to see Arthur Fonzarelli,
known as Fearless Fonzarelli, leap his motorcycle
over 14, yes, 14 garbage cans.
A man, a motorcycle,
and a lot of intestinal fortitude.
Wings wings push the wings.
Right now, Fearless is inside Arnold's Drive-In
with a few friends,
looking for that moment of truth.
All right, everybody, it's Fearless Fonzarelli.
All right, this is it. This is High Noon.
It's a lovely outfit, Arthur.
Hey, this is show biz.
Look, Fonzie, I have seen the garbage cans,
and I've seen the ramp,
and the length of the jump.
Now, are you sure you can do this?
If I was sure I could do it, you know
Yeah, it wouldn't be a trick.
Well, listen, how many times do you know a guy
that can uh, go up to a jukebox
rap it and have a song come out.
This is no time for music.
Well good luck, Arthur.
Hey, thanks, Mrs. C.
All right now, Mr. C
you're going to take care of everything, right? Right.
All right, and if anything happens,
you just go right ahead and rent my room.
Don't worry, Arthur,
I'm sure we're not going to need to rent your room.
Hey, you never can tell.
Yeah, I'll tell you something, Mr. C.,
you can make more money if you turn it into a museum.
All right, let's go.
Wait a minute, Fonz.
Can we talk to you for a minute?
Yeah. Yeah, excuse me.
Listen, we've been thinking about this
and, and we don't want you to go through with it.
Really, Fonz.
We don't want to see you get hurt.
You don't have to prove anything to us.
We know you're cool.
Yeah, you guys know I'm cool,
but there are a lot of people out there
that have never seen cool.
Sad, but true.
The people who want to see you do this
are not your real friends, Fonz.
So what you're telling me is that I'm cool
even if I don't go out there, huh?
Yeah. We sure are.
Well, you're good friends, huh.
You're all mentioned in my will.
Don't talk about that.
We don't care about a will.
What do I get?
All right.
No time for second thoughts now, huh?
There's been enough chicken already.
Hey, Shortcake,
I want to see a smile on your face, huh?
Hey let's go.
Well, it sounds like he's about to come out the door.
Yes, here he comes here's Fonzarelli.
Stay tuned, 'cause in just one moment,
we'll be back for the jump.
He starts it up.
Oh, I hope he make it.
If he miss, he going to spoil everybody's appetite.
Oh, he's just practicing, that's all. Yeah, yeah.
Trying to get a feel
I'm worried Fonzie's going to break his neck.
No, he's not.
I don't care what he leaves me. I hope he can do it.
Good-bye gray sky, hello blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I'm with you ♪
Feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Of feeling free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪