Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e03 Episode Script

1
Hey, mahoney,
what is that?
Some kind of
monkey puppet.
"To free me of glitches
"and put you in stitches,
"this merry ape begs
pull my leg."
(Evil laugh)
The monkey king is back!
Mucho thanko for
the leggo yanko.
Mahoney?
Wax him up once a week
to keep his shine up.
Now tell me,
man to mandrill,
know where I can
find these two?
Who are they?
(Manic cry)
They are the ones
who chucked me back
to woodville
and tried
to cement my fate.
Me,
the maharaja
of monkeyshines!
But the last laugh
will be on them
'Cause
it's payback time!
(Evil laugh)
Uncle: A little bit more
to the left, tohru.
Now raise
your right leg.
Hot-cha!
Uncle has reception!
The monkey talisman.
Its power.
You destroyed
the talismans.
Now let us hope
this locator spell
will reveal
the whereabouts
of the animal who
possesses this power,
before the forces
of darkness can find it.
(Chanting)
Aha!
The signal is strong.
Hmm
Interference.
Tohru!
I have not moved,
sensei.
What?
Whoa!
Daolon wong!
(Hisses) You are in my soup!
Our locator spells
have intersected.
I will seize control
of the chi waves, novice.
My power
is far greater than--
eeeeeeee!
One more thing:
(Blows raspberry)
One more thing:
(Blows raspberry)
One more thing:
Urghhh!
I have blocked
daolon wong's access
to our chi wavelength,
but I do not know
for how long.
Hopefully long enough
for us to beat daolon to
Hawaii?
That is where we will
find the noble monkey
who now holds the power
of shapeshifting.
Uncle: We must
leave immediately!
(Straining) Shall I stay
and watch the shop?
Sensei?
( Helmut and ulf theme
àplaying)
(Humming)
(Groans)
Uhh!
Uuuuhhhh!
Sumo, ho!
(Gasps)
Not you again.
Tell me where your
pals are, puny,
or I'll harpoon a whale!
Uh, they're gone,
uh, far away.
How far?
They did not say.
(Imitates buzzer)
Wrong answer!
(Gong)
(Laughs)
That was not funny.
Huh? I don't amuse you?
Not funny? Not funny?
I'm the grand pooh-bah
of ha-ha!
Tell me where I can
find your pals,
or I'll show you "not funny."
Nurse.
Oh, please,
anything but that.
No, no, no, no!
No!
No!
(Crazed laughter)
Uncle,
I am beginning
to feel foolish.
Monkeys are not even
indigenous to Hawaii.
And if the monkey has
the shapeshifter power,
how do we know it's even
a monkey anymore?
Why do you both
question uncle?!
To find the monkey
in any shape or form,
you must feel the power
within the peel.
But I do not
feel any powerrrr--
brakes!
Brakes!
Hello.
Status report?
I do not think
he is a monkey.
Ahem. I am
ambassador shimizu of Japan.
(Monkey squeaks)
This is a monkey.
Cute!
Thank the nice man
for the banana, haiku.
(Belches)
Uh, Mr. ambassador, sir,
it is, uh,
vital that we take
possession of your pet.
What? Haiku is a very
rare breed from hokkaido.
Mm-hmm. Noble.
Uh, yes, uh,
that is why some very
bad men are after him.
Jackie!
(Gasps)
Aiyaa!
Who ate my
locator spell?!
Oh.
Wha?
Did we say monkey?
We meant pigeon.
Oh!
Jackie!
Monkey's flying away!
Haiku?
How will we know
which one is haiku?
Duh.
(Kissing)
Birdy want a banana?
Got you!
Whoa!
Got--
(chuckles) Hello.
Jackie, I had him
eating out of my hand.
Ee! Ow! Oh!
Oh! Ee! Oh!
don't take it
personally.
Haiku doesn't know
you're trying to help.
No offense--
ow!Taken
perhaps we should
find a way to communicate
with the beast.
How? Haiku doesn't
speak English,
and we don't
speak monkey.
No problem!
I just happen
to be bilingual!
(Evil laugh)
Nice chimp,
but why settle
for second banana when
The king is back!
(Imitating Elvis)
uh-huh
thank you very much.
Monkey talisman
and monkey king?
Co-inki-dink?
(Gasps)
Forget monkey king.
We must catch monkey magic
before daolon wong does.
Uh-huh
oh!
Leaving so soon?
(Chuckles)
How have you been,
uh, Mr. king?
And how did you know
where to find us?
Let's just say someone
you know ratted you out.
Uhh! Aah!
Stop! Stop! Oh!
Please! Please!
Make it stop!
Um, and you went
to all the trouble
to see usWhy?
Let's see, maybe,
oh, a little something
I like to call
Revenge!
So, you want
a piece of uncle?
Haiku.
Come here, boy.
Come on.
(Gasps)
(Tires screech)
Ohh!
Where's a banana
when you need one?
(Chanting)
Huh?
(Hums Beethoven's 5th
death knocking Melody)
Uhh! Uhh! No! Uhh!
Dwaaah!
Uhh!
Uh, you know, uh,
this isn't a very
humorous revenge for
"the king of comedy."
Sweet simpering simian!
You have a point!
We're going
to laugh it up
at a luau.
Ahem!
For the main course
Hams a la chan!
(Imitating Groucho Marx)
With a little tenderizer
for the old bird, of course.
And for the entertainment
My tribute-to-pele
fire dance.
(Chanting
in native language)
Uh
It's
all right, folks.
All part
of the show.
(Chanting)
(Chanting)
Get 'em while
they're hot!
Haiku.
(Blowing)
Ole!
(Groaning)
And aloha, chuckles.
Oop!
(All gasp)
Hot! Hot! Hot!
Hang on, uncs!
Uhh!
Jade!
The monkey!
Right!
(All gasp)
(Applause)
(Spits)
Where's the little matador?
Bingo!
But who's bongo?
Uh
Mahalo. And
don't forget to tip
your waitresses.
(Gasps)
Time I buried
you in cement!
(Gasps)
(Roar)
(Cheers and applause)
That upstart's
stealing my shtick!
Aw, he's nothing, folks.
If you want
entertainment,
get a load of me!
I do animals, too.
(Whinnies)
Ta-da!
(Chirping)
(Chirping)
Wise guy!
(Cheers and applause)
Jade.
(tarzan yell)
(Gasps)
(Gasps)
Sorry, gang,
but before
I destroy you,
I'm going to destroy
the thing you love most!
(Evil laugh)
Anchors aweigh!
Monkeys can't swim,
can they?
(Evil laugh)
(Evil laugh)
Wait here!
I'm sorry.
I'll bring it back.
Thank you!
Sayonara, sea monkey.
(Cheers)
Release him!
Monkey king: Go fish!
Hey!
That was a figure of speech!
Uhh!
Uuuhhhhh!
Chim-chim's got
a hot date,
and you've got
a burial at sea!
(Evil laugh)
Ooohhh! Oh!
Bad wave! Bad wave!
Bad wave! Bad waaaavvve!
Rad!
(Groans)
Cowabunga.
Where's haiku?
Jade:
- The kilauea volcano.
Uh-oh. My simian senses
are tingling.
We want our
monkey, monkey.
Oh, it's all about
him, isn't it?!
You think he's funnier
than me, don't you?
Uh, of course not.
Everyone knows that
the monkey king
is the funniest
ape of all.
I do not think
he's so funny.
Well, you'll really love
my weird sense of humor
when you and monkeyboy
are swimming in lava,
'cause I'm going to make
kilauea blow sky-high.
The monkey king cannot
activate volcanoes.
Just watch me, gramps.
I know a family recipe.
"Magic monkey syrup,
pure cane sugar,
one carton of
aged goat milk--" yeech!
"An untuned Hawaiian guitar,
"a fine-tuned tuning fork,
a tuna on rye,
hold the Mayo--"
talismon power, be mine!
Paws off the fur,
Shakespeare!
I'm busy here!
Huh?
Ah
That is the monkey I seek.
Soon to be monkey toast,
along with his pals.
Jackie!
Give me that!
And to the winner
Uhh!
And to the loser--
uhh!
Uhh!
Never thought I'd be
rooting for daolon wong
over anybody.
Come on!
All: Oh!
On second thought,
go, monkey king.
Monkey king?
(Groaning)
Ah, I should have
recognized the antics
of the the famed
prankster puppet made flesh.
And I've got
a payback gig
with an exploding
volcano finale that
you're messing up!
So why do I see
no lava? Ha ha!
(Mumbling)
(Gasp)
I'm still 3 pounds of
wood short of a gusher!
Then for your
lousy spellmaking,
you shall return to wood.
Everybody's a critic!
Come on, buddy.
Say something, pal.
Anything.
Get your hand out
of my shirt, Mac.
And now,
the shapeshifter power.
(Chanting)
(Chanting)
All: Whoa!
(Groaning)
Uhh!
The puppet.
3 pounds of wood!
Jackie: Giddy-up!
Whoa!
Uncle: Hot-cha!
Cha is not so hot.
Ptaah!
Cherry gelatin?
It's not banana flavored,
but I think it'll do.
Well, grab some to go.
We have to get him back
to section 13.
Jackie: It looks like
the last laugh
is on the monkey king.
Hey, Jackie.
Yes?
Was it hard
to learn English?
Yes! Very, very difficult.
I learned from TV, news,
and documentaries.
Word by word,
just like a puzzle.
Now I--I know perfect
cantonese, of course,
my mother's language,
mandarin, Chinese,
shandonese,
ok English,
Korean, Japanese.
You have to know more,
not just one language.
Not enough. You have
to learn second language.
You're proud of yourself.
Remember,
learn more language.