Mind Your Language (1977) s03e03 Episode Script

Good evening Mr. Servantes
Buonos state seniora
In the first place Mr.
Servantes I am not a seniora
Seniorita
And in the second place
I would be much
obliged if you speak
English in this school
So right
And the other thing
Mr. Servantes there is
no such word in English
language as so right
The right terminology is: It is
all right, or it's all right
Or even just all right
You understand?
So right
I give up
Well what is the matter?
I am going to be sick
Oh not here I hope
My stomach she is down side up
How don't you go to see a doctor
I am going tonight after lessons
Oh amigo would you like a cigar
No no thank you
You are not yourself tonight
Of course he is himself,
who else could he
be? Don't be fool, sully means
something is wrong
She is right
What is itjuan
I am going to be sick
Holly ravioli, you
changed your religion
I Don't like that
Oh, I am welcoming you as
a brother, but first
you must learn the religion
What is the matter
You all became crazy,
I am sick in my stomach
Pardon, pardon I am going to
see if I have fever
In japan we take
temperature from
different place
Not from your mouth
I want to know where
is the other region
Well under
thing that is working
in this classroom
Good evening
To your places everybody
So what is the matter now
What
He is say he is
not feeling very well
Oh really what is wrong
Sorry what did he say
He said stop asking
the stupid question
He is got a
thermometer in his mouth
Have you got a temperature
What
Momento
What is it
I am dead
Don't be ridiculous
Si I have a low temperature
You are looking at the wrong end
Ah so right what is it
I am dying
That's normal
Hey, maybe it is moment to work
Sit down
Sit down
Now you failed in you
English language examination
Once so I don't want that
in this term, so tonight
I am going to ask each of you
To pick one of the ten subject
I have wrote on the blackboard,
And then I shall
ask you question on it
Lets say music or the royal family Writer
Shakespeare, est, right
Now who is going
to start the ball roll
We aren't having a ball to
be rolling in everywhere
Well ali you can start,
which subject do you pick
Oh blame me, television
Television right who is known
as the father of television
Amon Andrew Logy bell
Oh blame me. I am seeing him last
night with his little friend boo boo
That is yogi bear, I am talking about Logy
bell the man who invented television
Sorry please
How much is a television license
I am not knowing I never buy one
I hope you realize that you can get a
serious trouble for not having a license
Please tell me something,
there are money for
license for BBC, yes
Yes, then I am ok
I only watch ITV
It doesn't work that way
ali, you still need a license
Now anna which
subject would you like
The royal family
Royal family, right
Who is the prince of
Wales Harry sicom
Prince Charles
Yeah
Which recent king of
England was never crowned
Edford of Windsor
Good
Max pick a subject
British politics
British politics
Right
What, where is the
term Gladstone back come from
Mrs Gladstone
Gladstone back is name
given to bag pumpkin
of one of our prime ministers
William Hewitt Gladstone
Sorry boss
I will ask you another, what
function does the mais
have in the house of commons
They have the mais
Yes To it the cheese
That is mice
Maybe I pick up another subject
Maybe you just sit down
Ok
Danielle, lets see
the subject you prefer
I prefer the subject of love
I am sure you do, but it is
not written on the board
So would you please
pick one written down
Ok, Shakespeare
Shakespeare
Right
Who is Shakespeare's wife
Mrs Shakespeare
Very clever but what
was her maiden name
I don't know
Anna half way
Can you name one of
the three Shakespeare plot
Romeo etjuliette
Good as you like it
One more
I don not know anymore
I give you a clew
King
Kong
Lea
Taro
Asso
Which subject do you choose
Poetry
Poetry, right
Who wrote upon
west man to bridge?
Not know but simth
funny play to writo
It is a poem, I
ask you another, who
wrote to a field mouse
Sounds like a man who
is crazy in heado
It is mac Robert
over 200 years ago
Jamilah, pick a subject
The bible
The bible right
Who was Samson
Victor mature
A beg your pardon He was
been the actor in the film
Never mind the film
who was he, historically
Ah, he was man who was
very strong, one man
he has been fancy of
biggest hanky panky
called Delilah, so he is
being hanky panky,
and she is be ask him,
how is he be very strong
And he is be tell
her, it is his long hair
So one night when he is
asleep, she is be give
him, shorty back insides
and then he is
wake he is become prisoner
and blinded but
when his hair is be long
again he is be pulled
on palace
It is not very polite
It is what I be seen on T. V
Thank you jamilah
Geovani
See professor
Would you pick a subject please
Yea, music
Right music Give me something
from the 'Pirates of Benzenes
Never heard of them, are
they punk group or rock group
Pirates of Benzenes, is one of the
operas given by Gilbert solyhood
I really like him
Who
Gilbert Solyhood
Ok any more
Yes what can you tell
me about handles logon
Not to much, I
never drink this stuff
Your lack of general
knowledge is no laughing
Ranjit it is your turn
Pick a subject
The British isles
Isles
Quiet
What is the capital of England
- E - I meant what is the
capital city of England
London
Correct can you name three
English countries
Oh dear me I am not
knowing any English countries
Not one
No the only country I am
knowing is the country
of mount a cristo
That is count
Thousand apologize
Yeah sully your subject please
Only two rest, British history
Right
Who is known as the black prince
Mohamed ali
It is Edward the son
of Edward the third
Very sorry
Who invented the
cotton spinning machine
Chai kon fan
No it is a British right
You are copying from
chai kon fan You are
stealing frown
Chinese scientists
China invented first,
telephone, television, radio
The freezer and
discovered penicillin radium
And lots of other things
Rubbish
No, china not invent rubbish
In some of them just talk it
Juan
Si seignior, I pick subject
Yeah what is it, it is one
left, it is hop sins choice
Not hop sin
choice, British customs
It is what I meant, do you know
anything about British customs
Plenty, plenty
Oh good
First you have green or red
Green or red what
British customs
You have something to be glad you go
in the red if you are glad green
No
Si I know
The question is not
about these customs
It means the things we British
do that particular to us
Ah speak English
A little more than that one
I will give you an example,
November the
fifth is something we
celebrate only in Britain
Ah anything more
In the afternoon tea,
cricket, the boat race
Good good
Anything more
Pop and jug weed, but
I am suppose to ask juan
So right
Oh
What is it
Very much pain in my stomach
Sully, would you, sorry, would you run
and ask Mrs Host to come
Right
Come lay on the table
Oh blame me he is
not looking very well
I am dying
Stop being pessimistic
Professory so right
you are going be ok
Mrs. Host
Where does it hurt
Stomach stomach
We should get him to the hospital,
I think this man has appendicitis
Are you sure
Mr. Brown I was the senior assistant
for several years
If this man is not attended
very quickly it could be fatal
Any sign of Mr Brown
Pardon
Mr brown
Oh Mr. Brown, on no
he is not back yet
This is most inconvenient
I wonder why I went to the hospital
with Mr. Cervantes,
Some one should go with him
I am back
Don't tell me they
had examine you already
No operation no necessary
So you didn't
have appendicitis at all
No
Pain was caused by
my abundant tortia
That is insane from what
To much eating
Well where is mr brown
He wont come back
What do you mean
he wont come back
When we be in the hospital,
we come down the steps,
and mr brown he missed just
one step And break his leg
How can he possibly break his
leg if he only miss one step
Step he miss top step
There you are nurse
how is everything going
Very well sister - Good
Did you remember to give Mr.
Brown his blanket bath
I gave him all the blanket bath
All
Have I said something wrong
Blanket bath is given to patient
who can't bath themselves
They all seem to enjoy
it especially Mr. Brown
Lovely
I am sure it was
As you think you set him back
at least a couple of weeks
I was only doing my best
Well if you check on you
would remember that
you are a student nurse
not geisha girl
sorry sister
oh by the way Mr. Jones
is back from surgery
we have three Mr. Jones,
in this ward, what is his initial
Jones W.
Good
I am going to have a look at him
Is everything fancy
Yeah, but I don't
sister would approve
- Oh chiky do you want the apostle
- No couldn't have the pray, could I
Not without the apostle
No thank, not before
I have the ok anyway
You are not getting it
No it is worthy, any way
Oh when you think
I will be discharged
Probably tomorrow
Oh thank goodness for that, I cant wait to
get back to my students
What are they doing without me?
Calm all and sit down
Now I intend to find out how
are coming along with English
We have learning
very much of English
As so right I speak the English so
good, no body knows I am Italian,
I find it very hard to believe You
see even you, you don't know
Silence
Now I am going to ask you some
general question on everyday topics
First of all can anyone tell me
the first day of the week is
Sunny day
No it is not sunny
Rainy day
Sunday
Repeat it please
It please
Repeat the word Sunday
Sunday
Mr ali
Name me two seasons
Salt and pepper
Those are seasonings
Now give me the name of
two seasons of the year
Oh dear me
Anybody
Spling time
Spring time
Now Mr. Ali
What comes after the spring time
Holiday time
Summer time
Jolly good
Mr. Servantes
Si siniora
What does the letters AC mean
Por favor
What does AC mean
Four
AC has nothing to do with fall
Sure
AC spain, AC khat, ac fine
AC means automating card
Ah pardon
Mr. Parfalevas
Yes Miss Cortney
I don't suppose you can give me
the name of any sort of current
Sure Black current
I am talking about electricity
AC automating card,
DC is direct current
Ok
Mr. Taro
Asso
What is the signify if I says
you are a dog in a manager
It seems you are
crazy in the head
I beg your pardon
I am man not dog
You are also a stupid
Ms Schimdt
yeah
You are in a train
going to Glasgow
Why should go to Glasgow
It doesn't t matter why
You want to sleep in the train
Want you ask for
A bed
You would have a birth
in the sleeping car
Nin Beg your pardon
How can I have a birth
if I am not pregnant
Are you serious
Yea I save my self for
when I meet Mr, Wright
For your information,
Miss Schmidt, a berth
b.e.r.t.h is the name given to a bed
On a ship or a train
It sure be good You must
think I am very stupid
That is the most sensible remark I
have heard in this classroom so far
Mademoiselle Far
Oui Mademoiselle Curtny
Where is St Pauls
Saint Paul is what
Saint Paul Cathedral
I do not know it is
somewhere in London I think
It is in turkey circus
Have you been in turkey circus
No but I have been
in Bismarck's circus
Your remarks are silly, I
hope no wants to know anything
Yes, please I am
knowing a lots of things
Are you
Absolutely
Do you know what a philistine is
Oh certainly, it is medicine
that was found in the forties
It is noting of this sort
Thousand apologize
You are all philistines
Oh no I am Pakistan
I am spain
What is this
Go to tea
Yeah geovani, you get a
cup of tea and a go
and phone hospital to see
how is Mr. Brown
Ok tokky
So right
Men of Pit lgor Sister King
Hello would you please
tell me how is Mr. Brown
Mr. Brown
Could I have the
Christian name please
Sure Juan
Juan
Is this Spanish
No no I am Spanish
I see, Spanish
forjohn is it not
Si siniora
You hold on a moment please
Brown john
Are you a relative
No no
Just a friend
Well I am afraid a have
some bad news for you
You mean Mr. Brown is worst
He had a heart
attack during the night
Oh santa maria
You mean Mr. Brown is dead
Good morning Sidney
Good morning Miss Cortney
It is very sad about Mr.
Brown is not it
Sure it is
I thought you will go to
the funerals this morning
No I am very upset
I know what you mean
It is tragic, taken so young
It is terrible
Good morning sid
Good morning Mr. Brown
Open oh oh
Oh oh
What is going on
But you are dead
Nobody told me about it
Is it you, is it you
offcourse it's me
It is the Spanish man;
he said Mr. Brown is dead
Haey, I am dead
Dead
I assure you I am very
much alive Then whose
funerals do the
students gone to
Haey
Mr. Brown is trying
to talk to us
Hey everybody
I heard it as well
Santa maria
Max
Haey here is the boss
Haey Santa maria
Mr brown you are living
Yes
Praise to Allah
I am glado you are not deado
Thanko, thank you
Mr. Who is in the coffin
Well I expect it is
another Mr. Brown
We must be making
a great celebration
No why don't we go
to the pub, like it
Yeah
I will follow you
I push you
No I push the professor
I push him
I push him
Hurry up I cant stop
No
Buena sare
Go away
You don't mean that
What is it
We brought you some flowers
Ah well you shouldn't
spend money on flowers for me
I don't spend money
We already bought
them for your funerals
Hey
Come in everybody