Rescue Me s03e03 Episode Script
Torture
Previously on rescue me.
I have a situation.
That place where I have Jeannie? The place in connecticut.
Yeah, they just raised The monthly rent.
If I need a couple Hundred bucks, I mean, Can I come to you? Sure.
But you know this Girl that I've been seeing? Yeah.
It's pretty serious, man.
Who is she? It's Maggie.
Tommy's sister? Get away from me.
Can I have your cherry? If you knew me, you'd know I never put fruit in drinks.
Cherries are for pies, Slot machines, and virgins.
You see any of those Around here? No, I sure don't.
Let me get this straight.
I'm banging my science Teacher.
Mrs Turbody.
Do you want to ask me Something? Quite frankly, missy, I'm pretty disgusted.
I'll only discuss this Off school grounds over drinks.
Sexy.
Very sexy.
What a great rack.
I'm leaving on Monday, Which gives us an entire weekend Full of possibilities, Doesn't it.
Yeah.
Who's your mom dating? I can't tell you.
Uh-Huh.
If I tell you, I'll be Dishonoring her, So I really can't.
Hey, kenny.
Oh, jeez, you look a little Green around the gills.
You ok? Yeah, I think I'm coming down With something.
Bird flu, maybe.
Why don't you go home, Take care of yourself, Get some rest? Home.
Tempting.
I think I'll tough it out.
Your call.
Hey, listen, is there any chance You can float me that money We talked about? I'm sorry, Jerry.
I'm tapped out.
Oh, shit, I thought you were Gonna help me out.
Things change, man.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, fine.
It's just that I was depending Upon that money for Jeannie's Christ, Jerry, what do I look Like, a goddamn atm machine To you? You need track money, go to see A goddamn shylock! Hey, lower your voice, Lieutenant.
I got to remind you Who you're talking to? Oh, yeah, you know, That's great, that's great.
Hit me up for cash and then you Pull rank on me.
You're a real class act, Chief.
Morning, Chief.
Hey, probie get in here.
Clean that up.
Hey, slugger.
Hey, Garrity.
Oh, hey.
What's up, man? What's going on? You out humping around Last night? What? Humping around? No, I just I was, um, I only hump the one.
You know, I just, I only Make love to, you know, The girlfriend.
So you're like a one-Woman Guy now.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much.
So when are we gonna meet This girlfriend? Meet her? The girlfriend? Yeah.
Um, you know, She's uh, soon.
Yeah, maybe, I don't know.
She works a lot.
Uh-Huh.
Yeah, yeah, so, you know.
Hey, that was some brouhaha The other night, wasn't it? I mean, not ha-Ha funny, Just you know, sort of actually it wasn't funny at all.
It was really sickening kind of.
Yeah, that's how we settle Things in my family, you know.
We're Irish.
Yeah, well, hey, please, Tell me about it.
Garrity.
Uh, no, I mean, like, We're real Irish.
We're not like fake, Your-Generation, faggoty Irish.
You know what I mean? I know you guys are like, "You know, I have my feelings," And you talk it out.
We don't talk it out.
We find out who's responsible, Find the person, and then beat The living shit out of them.
My grandfather's best friend Growing up, he was friends with The guy for like 40 years, and I Guess the guy was flirting with My grandmother one day, and long Story short, my grandfather Rearranged the guy's face so he Can barely talk now.
Wow, what did the guy say To your grandmother? Um, good morning.
Step on that for me, will you? Hey, yeah.
Don't tell anybody About that.
No, hey, we all make Mistakes, right? What? What's that? You say something? Yeah, I'm a dead man.
* on another day, Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied, Can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? Come on, come on, Was it right to leave? Come on, come on, Will I ever learn? Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on * By Sony pictures television.]
I brought you some food Because you've been working So hard.
Yeah, well, after what you Just did to me, I think what I Really need is a handful of Aspirin and a shot of vitamin a.
No, just come lie down again.
I'll make it all better, I promise.
Yeah, that worked The first 2 times.
What time is it? About 7:00.
Yeah, I need to bounce.
My kid's waiting on me.
Excuse me? You have a kid? Yep, a daughter.
What's her name? Keela.
She's 6.
Ohh.
Her mom? Her mom's dead actually.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Ah, don't be.
We didn't really Know each other, you know? Keela kind of just, Uh, happened.
I'll see you.
You know what? It's not gonna work, you know.
What? Your ploy.
My ploy? Your ploy that you use with All of your conquests, you know, When you get them to bed, Then you tell them that you Have a kid, and they get scared And run screaming for the hills, And then you get off scot-Free.
'Cause I happen to love kids.
Mm.
Maybe I could meet her Sometime.
Yeah, I, uh, l I don't know.
Oh, come on.
We could do something fun, Just the 3 of us.
And I'll treat.
And then afterwards we could do Something fun, just the 2 of us.
Mm.
Mm.
I'll call you.
Mm-Hmm.
Nice crib, by the way.
Thanks.
Thank you.
You got a hole the size of A nickel in your brown shoes.
Still got my black ones.
A man should have 2 pairs of shoes One for getting around And one for going out.
Not that we do that Much anymore.
We should go tomorrow Morning and get a new pair.
I can't.
Listen, Jerry, if visiting Jeannie has made you have doubts About us, our friendship, I'll understand.
Just please be honest with me.
We're not doing anything wrong, You know.
It's not that.
I got to go and see her brother.
I thought bud lived in Arizona.
Not for a long time.
He moved back into the area, Opened up a car dealership A few years ago.
Never even bothered to contact Her after they had this big Falling out.
Must have been some Falling out.
What was it about? It was me.
Still she keeps on asking About him.
I guess she's got A right to know.
I'll pick out something Nice for you.
How's the wine? I'm guessing they opened this Bottle around '88.
Yeah, well, they don't get A very sophisticated clientele In this joint.
Sorry, no offense.
Yeah, up your ass.
Thanks.
Maybe we should go someplace Where we can really talk.
Ok, listen.
Your nephew and I, we have A very special, intimate Relationship.
He got an "a" on his biology Quiz, by the way.
Look, y-You got to, you got To put an end to this thing, ok? 'Cause the mother hen, if you Know what I'm talking about, Is getting very curious.
Why do you think I canceled Our parent/teacher meeting? So you're thinking of ending It then.
I care deeply for you-Know-Who.
The point is, if you get Caught doing you-Know-What With you-Know-Who, I'm telling You, some really serious stuff Is gonna happen.
Stuff? Stuff.
Big, scary stuff.
Ok? You got to put an end To this thing.
Well, if I end that thing, I'm gonna need another thing To take that thing's place.
I'm a little confused.
There were like 3 things In there.
Which, which thing are we Talking about? My thing? Hey, ma, I got a yeah, I had a tuna sandwich.
It was good.
Yeah, I'm ok, I guess.
Listen, I got a quick Question for you.
Um how old am I? No, I know the year I was born In, but I was counting backwards From 2006 to remember how old, And since I was born in december And there was the whole year A leap year in there, I got confused is all.
Because I'm filling out A transfer form, and I'd look Pretty stupid if I got it wrong.
Can you just tell me how old Please? Oh, oh.
Glad I called then.
All right, I better get back To this form.
Love you too.
This is so wrong.
How many ways? Yeah, that's why it feels So right.
Really? Mm-Hmm.
I just feel so guilty.
That's because you're A bad boy.
Oh, yeah? Uh-Huh.
Oh, my God.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Say my name.
Nell? Not nell, stupid.
Call me Mrs.
Turbody.
Mrs.
Turbody.
Yes! Oh, yes! Sorry.
Hey, yo, g, You got the time, b? Quarter past 10:00.
Ah.
You gonna dial up that Booty call, or what? Uh tell her to bring us Some friends.
Yeah, if they let 'em out Of the nursing home this late.
Ha ha.
Hey, I got to check on My daughter, jerkoffs.
Oh, man.
Yo, this ain't The men's room, b.
What are you doing? You want to mess with me? You better put your dick Away, dude, before a rat jumps Out and bites it off.
Hold on for a second, baby.
Piss on you.
You can go to hell.
What, are you gonna mess With me too? Is that how you want it? To take a piss? Huh? Do you? Piss wherever I want! You heard me.
Yeah.
He's wasted.
Yeah, he is.
Uh, keela, honey, Daddy's got to go, all right? Bye.
Sorry, I just you're just so attractive, I just I mean, I knew you were hot, But once I like got my hands On you, I just I know.
Listen, I'm gonna need you to go Again once I'm done with this Cigarette.
Really? Oh, yeah.
You're gonna fill in for your Nephew, you better raise your Game.
Damian can go 3, 4 times In an hour.
You keep up the pace or not? Well, l I might need A sandwich Mrs.
Turbody.
Hey.
What's the matter? You don't think I'm pretty Anymore? Come here.
You sleep ok? No.
You know that stuff That happened last night Between your dad and me? That was just stupid brother Stuff.
Me and Connor never fought Like that.
Well, it's different Between two boys, Especially two grown-Up boys.
We can be a real dopey bunch Sometimes.
It was scary.
Look, um your dad was very, very angry With me last night, and he Probably had every right to be, And if he hadn't reacted the way That he reacted, I'd, you know, Definitely think there was Something seriously wrong With him.
Katy, look at me.
There's nothing, nothing To be scared of.
He's still your dad, you know, And he loves you very, Very much.
You love us too, right? Yeah.
What do you want, Jerry? Hey, bud, we need to talk.
Piss off.
Your sister Jeannie, She's sick.
She's got alzheimer's, bud.
If she's sick, she's sick.
There's nothing I can Do for her.
Actually there might be.
The facility where she's Staying, she really loves it There.
It makes the disease easier.
They really care for her there.
Good for her.
Get out of my showroom.
She talks about you.
I don't understand it, but she Keeps on calling your name.
I can't cover the nut, bud.
I need your help.
I'm on my knees here.
Then stand up and get Yourself a job before they toss Her out on the street.
Now get out of here unless you Want to buy one of these, Which I seriously doubt.
Hey.
What you eating? Nicotine gum.
Tastes like shit.
You quit smoking? No, I'm atoning for my sins.
Hey, your dad called.
Said you did a jig on your Brother's head the other night.
Yeah.
He tell you why? Shakespearian.
Yeah, I know.
Scorsese-Esque.
Yeah.
Hey, I also hear you're no Closer to having a male heir.
I've been a little busy, You know.
Well, what if you get Barbecued on the job Or Johnny comes by and puts one In your belly? I mean, who's gonna carry on The family name? The tradition? I know, I know, I know.
The old man's gonna Go soon, Tom.
Now's the perfect time to think About going to a sperm bank And having some of your boys Put on ice.
I'm not going To a sperm bank.
Why not? It makes perfect sense.
That way if something happens To you, you got insurance And your dad can rest peacefully Knowing the gavins have a shot To carry on.
Yeah, yeah, long live The gavins.
Amen to that, brother.
Yeah.
Hey, I don't know if cousin Eddie told you, but you know, These mothers against Drunk driving yeah? They got a petition going With like 600 names on it That they're gonna present To the court to try to get you Sprung early, you know? You're shitting me.
No.
Isn't that great? No! It's terrible! I've grown to love it here.
Last week my cellmate got this Fabulous recipe for toilet wine From his homeys in chino.
So write it down.
When you get sprung, you can Make it in your own shitter.
I don't think you understand.
Taking out a drunk driver who Killed a kid? I'm like a celebrity inside.
I'm a king in here.
So let me get this straight.
You don't want your freedom.
No, and I want it To stay that way.
You know, I'm getting Marriage proposals? I got a stack of mail in my cell I'm serious about this, Tom.
Ok, what do you want me To tell them? I don't know.
Tell them it's a lovely gesture, But find another cause.
Take up bridge, or better yet, Get laid and have a drink.
All right.
Listen, on a more personal note, Dad's not doing great, you know? He's pissing the bed like Twice a week.
He's forgetting stuff.
He's really turning into a pain In the ass, and I just I wanted to talk to you about What what you think.
I'm thinking maybe I should Start looking at nursing homes.
You listen to me, kid.
Don't you ever mention That again.
Don't you ever even think Of that again! 'Cause if you do, you won't have To worry about the mothers Of drunk driving Getting me out.
I'll chew through these walls, And I'll kill you myself! You got that? I got to go to lunch.
They're serving Sloppy joes today.
Here's your coffees.
Thanks.
Mm-Hmm.
Figure out what you want Yet, sweetie? Thank you.
It's hard, I know.
If it's ok with your parents, Maybe you can pick Something out.
It's ok, sweetheart.
Go ahead.
That made you really Uncomfortable, didn't it? What? The "parents.
" Nah.
Nah.
Nah.
You know, she really loves This tea set.
You didn't have to do that.
What, are you kidding? I've been trying to get my hands On that tea set forever.
She's a great kid.
Yeah, she is.
You never wanted one Of your own? I never could have One of my own.
Oh.
And considering how my last 3 Marriages ended, it probably is The best thing that I didn't.
Well, that's, uh, some track Record you got there.
Yeah, it is.
Still, you seem to have A knack for the motherhood Thing.
I have a lot of nieces And nephews, and I spoil them.
My sister hates me for it.
Not the kids? No, not the kids.
What do you say, sweetheart? Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
And, well, I have a little Something for you too.
It's not a tea set, but alicia oh oh, man.
Wow.
Uh, I can't accept this, alicia.
Ok, but just try it on.
It's pretty, daddy.
Try it on.
Yeah, daddy.
It's pretty.
Try it on.
All right, all right.
Jeez.
That is pretty dope.
What do you say, daddy? Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey.
Hi, Tom.
Hey.
How are you, man? Good.
I just I can't seem To kick the habit, you know? I'm down like 300 bones.
Those things are Gonna kill ya.
Yeah.
Could be the stress.
Yeah, yeah, could be, If I were under any stress.
Listen, I better go suit up.
I'll see you in a, In a little while? How long, you think? Oh, I don't know.
A bit maybe? So like, what? 5 minutes? Yeah, 10 maybe.
Hey, Lou.
Franco.
Doing ok? Another day in paradise.
What are you doing out here? Me? I don't have time For games, probie.
You want something? No, Chief, sure don't.
Ah, then get out Of my way, goon-Boy.
Hey, seano.
Hey, frankie.
Yo, man, you ever sneeze While you're pissing? I hate that shit.
Goes everywhere.
You know, whenever I'm gonna Sneeze, I look up at a light.
Yeah, but you're gonna take Your eyes off the target, You might as well just go ahead And sneeze, right? Oh, yeah, I guess it's kind Of a catch-22.
Yeah, not really, but I see What you're trying to get at.
You talk to t.
About Maggie yet? No, God, no.
I was waiting for the right Time, you know.
He seems a little raw After the whole Johnny thing.
He seems fine to me.
Really? Yeah, we been bullshitting, Laughing like normal.
Really? Yeah, but he was Doing this whole bristling thing The other day, and then he just, In the kitchen he just threw me This really weird vibe.
Kind of freaked me out.
He was bristling? Yeah.
He knows.
Shit.
Really? You think? Well, you said he was Bristling, right? Yeah, or, you know, I don't know, he could have Been stewing.
Well, Sean, there's A difference.
If he was bristling, He definitely knows.
If he was stewing, It's up for grabs, you know? Shit.
You know, maybe he's just Waiting for the right moment To bash your face in or set you On fire.
No, no.
I've been too careful.
There's no way that he knows.
Ah, Sean, no offense, But being careful for you is Like tempting fate for most People.
Now, I seriously suggest you Consider coming clean, taking Your medicine like a man.
If he finds out before you do, Just gonna make things That much worse.
Think about it.
We totally can Work this out.
No, we can.
That's not fair though! Ooh! Mmm.
Mm-Mm.
What are you doing? Just straightening up.
Look bothers me Not straight thing.
Crazy.
Hey, where are you going? You heard of school? Oh.
'K, I'm just gonna clean up The house a little bit.
I knew I'd find You 2 together.
If I hadn't, elsa, I might Have gone on playing it Your way.
You didn't know.
Hey, t-Bone, what's up, man? Frankenstein.
What's going on? Not much.
What you been up to? Ah, I just got myself Into a bad situation Pussy-Wise, man.
Is there such a thing? Yeah, um, listen, man, I think we need to talk About Lou.
You notice anything Funny about him lately? Lou's a funny guy.
What? Yeah, he's hilarious.
Thing is, I saw him out The other night.
He was hammered.
You know, I'm talking Shit-Your-Pants drunk.
I saw him this morning.
He made no mention Of it whatsoever.
So what, you think He blacked out? Yeah, it's possible.
Or he didn't see me Or he didn't want To talk about it.
Not to me anyway.
I don't know.
I just thought maybe you should Say something, you know? I think the guy's hurting, man.
I don't know, man.
Lou's a kind of sort-Your- Own-Laundry type of guy, But, uh, I appreciate The heads-Up.
I just thought you should Be aware of the situation.
I have privacy.
Yeah.
Mrs.
Turbody.
How you feeling, Tommy? Uh, I'm, I'm good.
How are, how are you? Well, I'm calling to thank You again for the other night.
You certainly rose To the occasion.
Thank you for the sandwich.
I spoke to Damian.
It's over.
How did he how did he take it? Like a boy.
Shit.
Nah, he's resilient.
He'll survive.
The question is, will you? I want to see you tonight.
Ah, I can't.
Can't.
Working a double.
A triple, actually.
Triple? Yeah, there's some kind of Big flu going through The firehouse, and I can't you know, I got to cover For like 3 guys.
Mrs.
Turbody, I don't think I can do this, ok? It's, it's, it's wrong.
It's so wrong you know what I mean? in so many ways, And I just feel like, you know, Um, I mean, the sex is great, And, you know, I think I could Go longer if I had, you know, More practice, and you know, Maybe, you know, maybe day after tomorrow? Well, then, day after Tomorrow it is.
I'll be expecting you.
All right.
Bye.
Oh, my God.
You little sneak.
Mom, I want to stay At Stacy's tonight.
Well, you'll have To ask your father.
Why? Because it's his night, And I left him a message to pick The 2 of you up after school.
Even after that whole mess With uncle Johnny? Sweetie, I'm not nuts about Him spending time with you, But I am not about to set him Off by changing our Arrangements.
Not after what he did.
What about what you did? Excuse me? You think it was easy having To lie to him all this time? We did it because You asked us to.
Don't get smart With me, young lady.
Hey, I really didn't think he Was ready to hear the news, And obviously he wasn't.
So why don't you go and pray For a more normal family If you think that will help? The lord can only do so much.
How they hanging, Chief? By a thread, Franco.
You have one Unheard message.
Tommy, it's Janet.
Listen.
Can't park there, lady.
What are you looking at? What? No good.
I got to talk to you.
About what? I was cleaning today.
Uh-Huh.
What? I was, I was cleaning.
Mm-Hmm.
I clean 'cause things Get dirty.
Yeah, and at which point did You switch from cleaning mode Into snooping mode? I have a right to snoop.
Mm-Hmm.
Snooping is a really big part Of being a good mom.
I am not arguing with you.
Ok, anyway, if I hadn't have Snooped then I wouldn't Have found out what Damian's Been doing.
What do you mean? What, what, what's he Been doing? What do you think I mean? I'm asking you.
You were the one who was Snooping, snoop dogg.
Holy shit.
Roofies and viagra.
What are roofies? You don't know What roofies are? I don't know.
Do I? It's the date-Rape drug.
It's the thing you slip in A chick's drink, and like half An hour later she's basically, You can do whatever you want With her.
Eww! I know.
That's what he's doing? That's not what he's doing.
He's just probably doing The selling part.
Ok, that's worse.
That's not worse.
That's not worse, ok? It's way not worse, ok, 'Cause he's not doing Either the dating or the raping.
He's just doing the selling to the guys who are doing The dating and the raping.
I'll talk to him.
Yeah, I, uh, Think he might know.
If he knew, you'd be In a body cast by now.
Yeah, but he's giving me, Like, strange looks.
He's acting really weird.
Yikes.
Yikes? What yikes? Sounds like the same sort Of stuff he pulled with fred.
Who the hell's fred? Tommy's childhood friend.
The one he tortured till he hung Himself because he found out we Were dating each other behind His back.
You think Tommy's trying to Get me to hang myself? Not necessarily.
Maybe he thinks you'll put your Head in the oven or that's great.
Jump off a bridge.
But I think he's just messing With you.
Yeah, well, what do I do? Well, we don't know that he Knows, so definitely steer clear If you can, but don't act Suspicious and don't hang Yourself.
It's what he wants maybe.
You want Another one, miss? I'm not paying For the small talk, slim.
Are you in a bar? Yeah! So? Uh, it's 10:00 in the morning, Maggie.
Who you talking to? Hey, hi.
Sean.
Um, nobody.
You don't really need a phone To talk to nobody.
It's just it's The cable company.
I forgot to pay a Bill.
Hey, listen, you people better Stop calling me, all right? The check is in the mail.
Check is in the mail.
Yeah.
That was lame.
Lame excuse.
Yeah, well, it's all I could Think of.
Yeah.
Got something in your tooth? I don't know.
You know, Sean, lying is Really not your, uh, forte.
Yeah, no, no, it's not.
And you don't know What forte means.
I don't.
No.
Forte is like something that You're really, really good at.
Right, yeah, ok.
Oh, so like in high school, when I was all-State, I was like a, Like a forte free safety, yeah? Yeah, exactly.
Cool, yeah.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm See you later.
Ok.
Check out the bling.
That's like the nicest watch I've ever seen.
Nah, I wouldn't say all that.
Let me see.
I wonder how much she Paid for that.
Oh, few grand at least.
Nah, you think? The thing's silver.
Oh, yeah.
That's a patek philippe, man.
My uncle teddy used to have One of those.
I don't think he paid for it, But, yeah, unless it's A knockoff, it's a, it's a lot where you going, Sean? What? Oh, I was just, Uh, nowhere.
So is this a gift From your old lady? Sorry.
Girlfriend? She's not old, Lou.
She's older.
Older lady with A shitload of money.
Yeah, she's well off.
So? Boy toy.
No.
Yeah.
Please.
Hey, we're not Judging you, man.
Just, you know, work it To your benefit.
Work it what are you Talking about? Get as much as you can while The going's good.
That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, well, what I'm saying Is I'm not about that, ok? Oh, really? Yeah, really.
I don't trade sex for goods Like some arapaho whore.
Sex with me is purely About the sex.
That's why I'm so goddamn Good at it.
Speaking of the sex, When you bang her, does her Walker get in the way, or do you Use it for leverage? Ohh what? You're a jerk, man.
A legitimate question.
An asshole.
Oh, God, get over it.
Oh, man.
I was gonna get a sandwich.
You want any want anything? Right.
How 'bout I'll get you a drink? You need a drink or wow, I got to, uh, I got to pee.
Maybe you should call him Again.
I called him 3 times already.
Maybe his phone is turned off.
Better call mommy.
I have a better idea.
You want to go to a big-Girls' Sleepover at my friend Stacy's House? Stacy from Jesus class? Yeah, it'll be fun.
We can eat popcorn and watch Movies and talk about stuff.
Do we have to talk About Jesus? Well, maybe a little.
You better call mommy.
Tommy.
Tom.
Hey, where were you? Hey, I am talking to you.
You know, it is bad enough that You traumatized our children by Going ballistic at dad's Birthday party, but now you Leave them standing in The street waiting for you? Tommy, let one of the young Guys get that.
No, I got it, Chief.
It's all right.
Are you listening to me? Tommy, you were supposed To pick them up.
They were waiting at the school For almost an hour.
I left you a message.
What's up, frankie? Hey, Tommy.
What's up, jan? What do you got? Well, we're up to almost A grand in the kitty now.
No shit? Yeah, I think Garrity had to Sell some of his vital organs to Stay alive.
I hope his brain was one Of the organs.
Yeah.
Here's the deal.
Every time I hear your voice On my voicemail, I hit delete.
Ok, fine.
You don't want to talk to me, You can talk to my new lawyer.
Ok? 'Cause the gloves Are off, Tommy.
Hey, after this shit And the shit that you pulled The other night, I will get It all.
The girls, the money, The furniture, everything.
Hey, what's this I hear About you chewing nicotine gum? That's flat-Out cheating.
Hey, there.
Engine.
Nice, nice.
Oh, shit.
You okay? I'm fine, I'm fine.
Bring that boarding, guys.
Get her feet.
Grab the feet.
You got 'em? Okay.
Fancy outfit.
This guy must be rich.
He's a handsome cab Driver, numb nuts.
He's not so handsome Anymore.
Hey, something Missing from this equation? You mean Sean? No, I mean the horse Asshole.
Where's the goddamn horse? Hi, hi, there.
You okay? Hey, big boy.
Hi.
How you doing? You all right? Huh? What's the matter? Huh? It's gonna be all right, yeah.
It's okay, shh.
You got a big cut.
Wow, looks like it hurts, huh? Yeah.
Get some of this stuff off you, Okay? Hey.
Oh, pop your stitches? Yeah, a couple.
You cut that with a Glass in the shower? You know what, it's none Of your business.
It's none of my Business now? Holy shit.
Howdy, boys.
Who's your new friend, Garrity? Oh, I found him down There in the Meadow.
He must've broke free from the Carriage on the impact.
Since when are you The horse whisperer? I used to have a horse.
Well, it wasn't really my horse.
Actually, it was a pony really.
Yeah, summer camp.
Buttons was his name.
Yeah, buttons.
I looked forward to it every July, you know? So I could ride him again.
Yeah, he got laminitis.
What's laminitis? I don't know, but Whatever it is, it kills horses.
Anyway, he died.
Summer camp was never the same, Of course.
And I vowed I would never ride Another horse again 'til today.
He's a beauty though, isn't he? Looks about two lengths From the glue factory if you ask Me.
Come on, a little respect.
This guy used to be a Thoroughbred.
You can tell from the muscle Tone.
Looks like about 200 Bags worth of puppy chow to me.
No, he's just malnourished Is all.
Well, those days are over, right Buttons? I'm gonna get you a nice warm Stable and some oats and some Hay.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Buttons! Wow, you weren't shitting About that pedigree, Gary.
Look at the grace of those Strides.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
I'll tell you one thing Though.
Who knew those new city buses Were made so well, huh? Barely a dent.
Tommy, Lou, go check On the passengers.
Franco, take the probie and grab A couple of shovels and start Scraping secretariat off the Street.
Take a minute if you need it, Sean.
You know what, that's Not funny, assholes.
All right, you know What, knock it off, okay? Knock what off? Hey.
Tom, nothing, the guys were just Being dicks.
Oh, really? Yeah, how are you? Good, how are you? I'm all right.
Yeah? What's going on, Guys? Hey, Franco.
So, so Sean.
Yeah? Gonna see your new Girlfriend? Uh, yeah, or maybe.
I don't know.
Which one is it? What? "Yeah, maybe, I don't Know?" Pick one.
Yeah, yeah.
Atta boy.
Is she good? Yup, she's doing good.
She's really good.
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, um you got schmutz on You.
Is she good? She's I don't that's not really I'm not so Comfortable discussing that Really.
Since when? We talk about this shit All the time.
It's pretty much all we talk About.
She like it from the back? Hair pulled? Ass smacked? She chug nut? That's that's a Little I'm trying to be Respectful, okay? I respect her, she's Respectable.
Come on.
You know? So What you're saying is, You're pretty much all about respect now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, trying.
I'm gonna to I'm gonna go back and bury These.
I promised buttons I would.
See ya.
Jesus, Tom.
This is more fun than you Said it would be.
Told ya.
Kid's dying inside.
What're you doing? Nothing, I'm just Sitting.
Coulda sworn I saw Something very book-Like in your Hands.
Show me.
The tao of pooh.
No, it's the tayo of Pooh.
It's pronounced yo, Mike, I really can't Understand how you could be seen In public purchasing this shit.
It's not shit, a friend Gave it to me.
It says pooh right in The title.
It's a different kind Of pooh.
The tayo-Ist taoist.
Whatever.
Taoist.
P'u means natural.
Plain, simple.
Yeah, hand it over.
Why? Because a firehouse is no Place for sensitive souls, Probie.
You used to write poetry.
Yeah, and it cost me my house And my wife, and a whole lot More.
So give it over.
You can't order me to stop Reading.
I'm not.
I'm ordering you to stop filling Your mind with this bullshit, Fortune-Cookie philosophy.
You're taking life lessons From a seml-Retarded bear, Mikey.
And it's not even a real bear.
Consider yourself fortunate That you're not burdened By an overactive mind.
Stick to cartoons and coloring Books.
No, I'm not stupid, you know.
I'm just simpleminded.
The book says that pooh is like An uncarved block.
You know, that's kind of how I Feel.
Like an uncarved block.
It's hard to disagree with.
Yeah, you're busting balls, But you know, winnie's as simple As they come.
He just roams the woods, hangs With his pals, eats some honey, Takes a nap.
He doesn't care about Understanding anything or or even himself or the names That people call him.
He just he just is, you know? He accepts things as they are.
That's the key to his happiness.
That's what this all is, Really.
I mean, you're a little Depressed about the fact that We're gonna keep calling you the Probie.
Maybe this is the big problem That's caused this little Existential life crisis.
You don't know from problems, Kid.
It's not that, I'm just Starting to realize that Nobody's ever gonna have all the Answers, you know? I mean, you may think you know Everything, but you don't.
And you can't.
And you never will, so you Should just stop trying and life Will get a lot easier.
Give me the goddamned book.
Give me the goddamned book! That's an order! Give me the goddamned book! Give me the goddamned book! Go get your own! Get back here, asshole! What the the hell is going on? Just leave it alone, Tom.
You know, you've been acting Very un-Lou like lately, Lou.
You know? I mean, you come in, I can smell Booze on your breath sometimes.
And jumping down everybody's Throat.
And snapping, left, right and Center.
What's? What're you gonna do, tell me You wanna help me? Is that it? You? Who pissed away his beautiful Wife and three kids by crawling Into a bottle for three years? You're gonna help me? We're brothers.
That's what we're supposed to Do.
I've seen how you treat your Brothers.
Okay? So why don't you just save this Intervention for someone who Gives a shit.
Goddamned hypocrite.
What a nice surprise.
Hey, sorry for dropping by Unannounced.
No, it's okay, I'm just Fixing dinner for some friends.
Come on in.
Oh, no, I really can't.
I just wanted to stop by and Give this back to you.
Oh, you don't like it Anymore? No, no, I love it.
It's just that I recently found Out that it's worth more than my Jeep.
Right.
Well, what if I told you it was A knockoff? Um, all the same, I really I can't accept it.
I gotta go.
So, I'll call you.
I know.
Hey, dude, what can I get You? Java'd be nice.
Sure thing.
What's in that again? Is the owner around? You're looking at him.
Jerry Reilly.
Larry bird.
You're shitting me, right? My folks were big celtics Fans.
Call me birdy.
Birdy, I saw your sign Outside, and I'm looking to pick Up a couple extra bucks.
You're FDNY? Cool.
I am a little bit rusty, But I used to pour down at Mchales.
Mchales.
Another celtic.
Aaah.
It's kismet.
Hey.
Damien.
Hello? What's going on? Nothing.
Don't nothing me.
Come here.
You're mom found drugs in Your room again.
What was she doing in my Room? She was cleaning, okay? She seems to be doing a lot Of that lately.
She likes to clean, you Know, when she stressed out.
It's a big de-Stresser for her.
"De-Stresser"? Yeah, it's a word.
Yeah, well, I'm not dealing.
All right? It must be some old stuff.
I had so many hiding places in That room, I lost track.
All right.
Don't bullshit me.
No, I swear.
Okay.
What's with the long face? What? What, Mrs.
Turbody? Come on.
She won't see me anymore.
Won't even talk to me.
You're better off.
You should be dating girls your Own age anyways.
Women are a pain in the ass.
You got plenty of time to deal With them when you get older.
I'm in love with her, uncle Tommy.
You don't know what love is.
You gotta help me get her Back.
What're you nuts? No way, no way.
All the things I've done for You? All the shit you put me through? You owe me.
I don't you owe me.
I'm driving you around all the Time, covering up this Mrs.
Turbody thing, let's go.
Come on, your mom made a pork Loin.
Let's go.
Hey, man, where you been? Just roaming.
Well, the game's about to Start.
You want a beer? Yeah.
Rough shift? Oh, same old shit.
Forget about it, man.
I got a really good feeling About cleveland.
It's lebron's night.
Thanks, bro.
Quarter court Pressure.
Norris, 15 and he got it.
Now very important for miami If they see the opening and Break through the traffic, Just step in there and hit the Shots in this one.
Outside the board and just Underway from the miami arena.
Georgetown and the hurricanes.
I have a situation.
That place where I have Jeannie? The place in connecticut.
Yeah, they just raised The monthly rent.
If I need a couple Hundred bucks, I mean, Can I come to you? Sure.
But you know this Girl that I've been seeing? Yeah.
It's pretty serious, man.
Who is she? It's Maggie.
Tommy's sister? Get away from me.
Can I have your cherry? If you knew me, you'd know I never put fruit in drinks.
Cherries are for pies, Slot machines, and virgins.
You see any of those Around here? No, I sure don't.
Let me get this straight.
I'm banging my science Teacher.
Mrs Turbody.
Do you want to ask me Something? Quite frankly, missy, I'm pretty disgusted.
I'll only discuss this Off school grounds over drinks.
Sexy.
Very sexy.
What a great rack.
I'm leaving on Monday, Which gives us an entire weekend Full of possibilities, Doesn't it.
Yeah.
Who's your mom dating? I can't tell you.
Uh-Huh.
If I tell you, I'll be Dishonoring her, So I really can't.
Hey, kenny.
Oh, jeez, you look a little Green around the gills.
You ok? Yeah, I think I'm coming down With something.
Bird flu, maybe.
Why don't you go home, Take care of yourself, Get some rest? Home.
Tempting.
I think I'll tough it out.
Your call.
Hey, listen, is there any chance You can float me that money We talked about? I'm sorry, Jerry.
I'm tapped out.
Oh, shit, I thought you were Gonna help me out.
Things change, man.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, fine.
It's just that I was depending Upon that money for Jeannie's Christ, Jerry, what do I look Like, a goddamn atm machine To you? You need track money, go to see A goddamn shylock! Hey, lower your voice, Lieutenant.
I got to remind you Who you're talking to? Oh, yeah, you know, That's great, that's great.
Hit me up for cash and then you Pull rank on me.
You're a real class act, Chief.
Morning, Chief.
Hey, probie get in here.
Clean that up.
Hey, slugger.
Hey, Garrity.
Oh, hey.
What's up, man? What's going on? You out humping around Last night? What? Humping around? No, I just I was, um, I only hump the one.
You know, I just, I only Make love to, you know, The girlfriend.
So you're like a one-Woman Guy now.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, pretty much.
Pretty much.
So when are we gonna meet This girlfriend? Meet her? The girlfriend? Yeah.
Um, you know, She's uh, soon.
Yeah, maybe, I don't know.
She works a lot.
Uh-Huh.
Yeah, yeah, so, you know.
Hey, that was some brouhaha The other night, wasn't it? I mean, not ha-Ha funny, Just you know, sort of actually it wasn't funny at all.
It was really sickening kind of.
Yeah, that's how we settle Things in my family, you know.
We're Irish.
Yeah, well, hey, please, Tell me about it.
Garrity.
Uh, no, I mean, like, We're real Irish.
We're not like fake, Your-Generation, faggoty Irish.
You know what I mean? I know you guys are like, "You know, I have my feelings," And you talk it out.
We don't talk it out.
We find out who's responsible, Find the person, and then beat The living shit out of them.
My grandfather's best friend Growing up, he was friends with The guy for like 40 years, and I Guess the guy was flirting with My grandmother one day, and long Story short, my grandfather Rearranged the guy's face so he Can barely talk now.
Wow, what did the guy say To your grandmother? Um, good morning.
Step on that for me, will you? Hey, yeah.
Don't tell anybody About that.
No, hey, we all make Mistakes, right? What? What's that? You say something? Yeah, I'm a dead man.
* on another day, Come on, come on, With these ropes I tied, Can we do no wrong? Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men Who have come and gone, Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone, Things were good When we were young, Is it safe to say? Come on, come on, Was it right to leave? Come on, come on, Will I ever learn? Come on, come on, Come on, come on, Come on, come on * By Sony pictures television.]
I brought you some food Because you've been working So hard.
Yeah, well, after what you Just did to me, I think what I Really need is a handful of Aspirin and a shot of vitamin a.
No, just come lie down again.
I'll make it all better, I promise.
Yeah, that worked The first 2 times.
What time is it? About 7:00.
Yeah, I need to bounce.
My kid's waiting on me.
Excuse me? You have a kid? Yep, a daughter.
What's her name? Keela.
She's 6.
Ohh.
Her mom? Her mom's dead actually.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Ah, don't be.
We didn't really Know each other, you know? Keela kind of just, Uh, happened.
I'll see you.
You know what? It's not gonna work, you know.
What? Your ploy.
My ploy? Your ploy that you use with All of your conquests, you know, When you get them to bed, Then you tell them that you Have a kid, and they get scared And run screaming for the hills, And then you get off scot-Free.
'Cause I happen to love kids.
Mm.
Maybe I could meet her Sometime.
Yeah, I, uh, l I don't know.
Oh, come on.
We could do something fun, Just the 3 of us.
And I'll treat.
And then afterwards we could do Something fun, just the 2 of us.
Mm.
Mm.
I'll call you.
Mm-Hmm.
Nice crib, by the way.
Thanks.
Thank you.
You got a hole the size of A nickel in your brown shoes.
Still got my black ones.
A man should have 2 pairs of shoes One for getting around And one for going out.
Not that we do that Much anymore.
We should go tomorrow Morning and get a new pair.
I can't.
Listen, Jerry, if visiting Jeannie has made you have doubts About us, our friendship, I'll understand.
Just please be honest with me.
We're not doing anything wrong, You know.
It's not that.
I got to go and see her brother.
I thought bud lived in Arizona.
Not for a long time.
He moved back into the area, Opened up a car dealership A few years ago.
Never even bothered to contact Her after they had this big Falling out.
Must have been some Falling out.
What was it about? It was me.
Still she keeps on asking About him.
I guess she's got A right to know.
I'll pick out something Nice for you.
How's the wine? I'm guessing they opened this Bottle around '88.
Yeah, well, they don't get A very sophisticated clientele In this joint.
Sorry, no offense.
Yeah, up your ass.
Thanks.
Maybe we should go someplace Where we can really talk.
Ok, listen.
Your nephew and I, we have A very special, intimate Relationship.
He got an "a" on his biology Quiz, by the way.
Look, y-You got to, you got To put an end to this thing, ok? 'Cause the mother hen, if you Know what I'm talking about, Is getting very curious.
Why do you think I canceled Our parent/teacher meeting? So you're thinking of ending It then.
I care deeply for you-Know-Who.
The point is, if you get Caught doing you-Know-What With you-Know-Who, I'm telling You, some really serious stuff Is gonna happen.
Stuff? Stuff.
Big, scary stuff.
Ok? You got to put an end To this thing.
Well, if I end that thing, I'm gonna need another thing To take that thing's place.
I'm a little confused.
There were like 3 things In there.
Which, which thing are we Talking about? My thing? Hey, ma, I got a yeah, I had a tuna sandwich.
It was good.
Yeah, I'm ok, I guess.
Listen, I got a quick Question for you.
Um how old am I? No, I know the year I was born In, but I was counting backwards From 2006 to remember how old, And since I was born in december And there was the whole year A leap year in there, I got confused is all.
Because I'm filling out A transfer form, and I'd look Pretty stupid if I got it wrong.
Can you just tell me how old Please? Oh, oh.
Glad I called then.
All right, I better get back To this form.
Love you too.
This is so wrong.
How many ways? Yeah, that's why it feels So right.
Really? Mm-Hmm.
I just feel so guilty.
That's because you're A bad boy.
Oh, yeah? Uh-Huh.
Oh, my God.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Say my name.
Nell? Not nell, stupid.
Call me Mrs.
Turbody.
Mrs.
Turbody.
Yes! Oh, yes! Sorry.
Hey, yo, g, You got the time, b? Quarter past 10:00.
Ah.
You gonna dial up that Booty call, or what? Uh tell her to bring us Some friends.
Yeah, if they let 'em out Of the nursing home this late.
Ha ha.
Hey, I got to check on My daughter, jerkoffs.
Oh, man.
Yo, this ain't The men's room, b.
What are you doing? You want to mess with me? You better put your dick Away, dude, before a rat jumps Out and bites it off.
Hold on for a second, baby.
Piss on you.
You can go to hell.
What, are you gonna mess With me too? Is that how you want it? To take a piss? Huh? Do you? Piss wherever I want! You heard me.
Yeah.
He's wasted.
Yeah, he is.
Uh, keela, honey, Daddy's got to go, all right? Bye.
Sorry, I just you're just so attractive, I just I mean, I knew you were hot, But once I like got my hands On you, I just I know.
Listen, I'm gonna need you to go Again once I'm done with this Cigarette.
Really? Oh, yeah.
You're gonna fill in for your Nephew, you better raise your Game.
Damian can go 3, 4 times In an hour.
You keep up the pace or not? Well, l I might need A sandwich Mrs.
Turbody.
Hey.
What's the matter? You don't think I'm pretty Anymore? Come here.
You sleep ok? No.
You know that stuff That happened last night Between your dad and me? That was just stupid brother Stuff.
Me and Connor never fought Like that.
Well, it's different Between two boys, Especially two grown-Up boys.
We can be a real dopey bunch Sometimes.
It was scary.
Look, um your dad was very, very angry With me last night, and he Probably had every right to be, And if he hadn't reacted the way That he reacted, I'd, you know, Definitely think there was Something seriously wrong With him.
Katy, look at me.
There's nothing, nothing To be scared of.
He's still your dad, you know, And he loves you very, Very much.
You love us too, right? Yeah.
What do you want, Jerry? Hey, bud, we need to talk.
Piss off.
Your sister Jeannie, She's sick.
She's got alzheimer's, bud.
If she's sick, she's sick.
There's nothing I can Do for her.
Actually there might be.
The facility where she's Staying, she really loves it There.
It makes the disease easier.
They really care for her there.
Good for her.
Get out of my showroom.
She talks about you.
I don't understand it, but she Keeps on calling your name.
I can't cover the nut, bud.
I need your help.
I'm on my knees here.
Then stand up and get Yourself a job before they toss Her out on the street.
Now get out of here unless you Want to buy one of these, Which I seriously doubt.
Hey.
What you eating? Nicotine gum.
Tastes like shit.
You quit smoking? No, I'm atoning for my sins.
Hey, your dad called.
Said you did a jig on your Brother's head the other night.
Yeah.
He tell you why? Shakespearian.
Yeah, I know.
Scorsese-Esque.
Yeah.
Hey, I also hear you're no Closer to having a male heir.
I've been a little busy, You know.
Well, what if you get Barbecued on the job Or Johnny comes by and puts one In your belly? I mean, who's gonna carry on The family name? The tradition? I know, I know, I know.
The old man's gonna Go soon, Tom.
Now's the perfect time to think About going to a sperm bank And having some of your boys Put on ice.
I'm not going To a sperm bank.
Why not? It makes perfect sense.
That way if something happens To you, you got insurance And your dad can rest peacefully Knowing the gavins have a shot To carry on.
Yeah, yeah, long live The gavins.
Amen to that, brother.
Yeah.
Hey, I don't know if cousin Eddie told you, but you know, These mothers against Drunk driving yeah? They got a petition going With like 600 names on it That they're gonna present To the court to try to get you Sprung early, you know? You're shitting me.
No.
Isn't that great? No! It's terrible! I've grown to love it here.
Last week my cellmate got this Fabulous recipe for toilet wine From his homeys in chino.
So write it down.
When you get sprung, you can Make it in your own shitter.
I don't think you understand.
Taking out a drunk driver who Killed a kid? I'm like a celebrity inside.
I'm a king in here.
So let me get this straight.
You don't want your freedom.
No, and I want it To stay that way.
You know, I'm getting Marriage proposals? I got a stack of mail in my cell I'm serious about this, Tom.
Ok, what do you want me To tell them? I don't know.
Tell them it's a lovely gesture, But find another cause.
Take up bridge, or better yet, Get laid and have a drink.
All right.
Listen, on a more personal note, Dad's not doing great, you know? He's pissing the bed like Twice a week.
He's forgetting stuff.
He's really turning into a pain In the ass, and I just I wanted to talk to you about What what you think.
I'm thinking maybe I should Start looking at nursing homes.
You listen to me, kid.
Don't you ever mention That again.
Don't you ever even think Of that again! 'Cause if you do, you won't have To worry about the mothers Of drunk driving Getting me out.
I'll chew through these walls, And I'll kill you myself! You got that? I got to go to lunch.
They're serving Sloppy joes today.
Here's your coffees.
Thanks.
Mm-Hmm.
Figure out what you want Yet, sweetie? Thank you.
It's hard, I know.
If it's ok with your parents, Maybe you can pick Something out.
It's ok, sweetheart.
Go ahead.
That made you really Uncomfortable, didn't it? What? The "parents.
" Nah.
Nah.
Nah.
You know, she really loves This tea set.
You didn't have to do that.
What, are you kidding? I've been trying to get my hands On that tea set forever.
She's a great kid.
Yeah, she is.
You never wanted one Of your own? I never could have One of my own.
Oh.
And considering how my last 3 Marriages ended, it probably is The best thing that I didn't.
Well, that's, uh, some track Record you got there.
Yeah, it is.
Still, you seem to have A knack for the motherhood Thing.
I have a lot of nieces And nephews, and I spoil them.
My sister hates me for it.
Not the kids? No, not the kids.
What do you say, sweetheart? Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
And, well, I have a little Something for you too.
It's not a tea set, but alicia oh oh, man.
Wow.
Uh, I can't accept this, alicia.
Ok, but just try it on.
It's pretty, daddy.
Try it on.
Yeah, daddy.
It's pretty.
Try it on.
All right, all right.
Jeez.
That is pretty dope.
What do you say, daddy? Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey.
Hi, Tom.
Hey.
How are you, man? Good.
I just I can't seem To kick the habit, you know? I'm down like 300 bones.
Those things are Gonna kill ya.
Yeah.
Could be the stress.
Yeah, yeah, could be, If I were under any stress.
Listen, I better go suit up.
I'll see you in a, In a little while? How long, you think? Oh, I don't know.
A bit maybe? So like, what? 5 minutes? Yeah, 10 maybe.
Hey, Lou.
Franco.
Doing ok? Another day in paradise.
What are you doing out here? Me? I don't have time For games, probie.
You want something? No, Chief, sure don't.
Ah, then get out Of my way, goon-Boy.
Hey, seano.
Hey, frankie.
Yo, man, you ever sneeze While you're pissing? I hate that shit.
Goes everywhere.
You know, whenever I'm gonna Sneeze, I look up at a light.
Yeah, but you're gonna take Your eyes off the target, You might as well just go ahead And sneeze, right? Oh, yeah, I guess it's kind Of a catch-22.
Yeah, not really, but I see What you're trying to get at.
You talk to t.
About Maggie yet? No, God, no.
I was waiting for the right Time, you know.
He seems a little raw After the whole Johnny thing.
He seems fine to me.
Really? Yeah, we been bullshitting, Laughing like normal.
Really? Yeah, but he was Doing this whole bristling thing The other day, and then he just, In the kitchen he just threw me This really weird vibe.
Kind of freaked me out.
He was bristling? Yeah.
He knows.
Shit.
Really? You think? Well, you said he was Bristling, right? Yeah, or, you know, I don't know, he could have Been stewing.
Well, Sean, there's A difference.
If he was bristling, He definitely knows.
If he was stewing, It's up for grabs, you know? Shit.
You know, maybe he's just Waiting for the right moment To bash your face in or set you On fire.
No, no.
I've been too careful.
There's no way that he knows.
Ah, Sean, no offense, But being careful for you is Like tempting fate for most People.
Now, I seriously suggest you Consider coming clean, taking Your medicine like a man.
If he finds out before you do, Just gonna make things That much worse.
Think about it.
We totally can Work this out.
No, we can.
That's not fair though! Ooh! Mmm.
Mm-Mm.
What are you doing? Just straightening up.
Look bothers me Not straight thing.
Crazy.
Hey, where are you going? You heard of school? Oh.
'K, I'm just gonna clean up The house a little bit.
I knew I'd find You 2 together.
If I hadn't, elsa, I might Have gone on playing it Your way.
You didn't know.
Hey, t-Bone, what's up, man? Frankenstein.
What's going on? Not much.
What you been up to? Ah, I just got myself Into a bad situation Pussy-Wise, man.
Is there such a thing? Yeah, um, listen, man, I think we need to talk About Lou.
You notice anything Funny about him lately? Lou's a funny guy.
What? Yeah, he's hilarious.
Thing is, I saw him out The other night.
He was hammered.
You know, I'm talking Shit-Your-Pants drunk.
I saw him this morning.
He made no mention Of it whatsoever.
So what, you think He blacked out? Yeah, it's possible.
Or he didn't see me Or he didn't want To talk about it.
Not to me anyway.
I don't know.
I just thought maybe you should Say something, you know? I think the guy's hurting, man.
I don't know, man.
Lou's a kind of sort-Your- Own-Laundry type of guy, But, uh, I appreciate The heads-Up.
I just thought you should Be aware of the situation.
I have privacy.
Yeah.
Mrs.
Turbody.
How you feeling, Tommy? Uh, I'm, I'm good.
How are, how are you? Well, I'm calling to thank You again for the other night.
You certainly rose To the occasion.
Thank you for the sandwich.
I spoke to Damian.
It's over.
How did he how did he take it? Like a boy.
Shit.
Nah, he's resilient.
He'll survive.
The question is, will you? I want to see you tonight.
Ah, I can't.
Can't.
Working a double.
A triple, actually.
Triple? Yeah, there's some kind of Big flu going through The firehouse, and I can't you know, I got to cover For like 3 guys.
Mrs.
Turbody, I don't think I can do this, ok? It's, it's, it's wrong.
It's so wrong you know what I mean? in so many ways, And I just feel like, you know, Um, I mean, the sex is great, And, you know, I think I could Go longer if I had, you know, More practice, and you know, Maybe, you know, maybe day after tomorrow? Well, then, day after Tomorrow it is.
I'll be expecting you.
All right.
Bye.
Oh, my God.
You little sneak.
Mom, I want to stay At Stacy's tonight.
Well, you'll have To ask your father.
Why? Because it's his night, And I left him a message to pick The 2 of you up after school.
Even after that whole mess With uncle Johnny? Sweetie, I'm not nuts about Him spending time with you, But I am not about to set him Off by changing our Arrangements.
Not after what he did.
What about what you did? Excuse me? You think it was easy having To lie to him all this time? We did it because You asked us to.
Don't get smart With me, young lady.
Hey, I really didn't think he Was ready to hear the news, And obviously he wasn't.
So why don't you go and pray For a more normal family If you think that will help? The lord can only do so much.
How they hanging, Chief? By a thread, Franco.
You have one Unheard message.
Tommy, it's Janet.
Listen.
Can't park there, lady.
What are you looking at? What? No good.
I got to talk to you.
About what? I was cleaning today.
Uh-Huh.
What? I was, I was cleaning.
Mm-Hmm.
I clean 'cause things Get dirty.
Yeah, and at which point did You switch from cleaning mode Into snooping mode? I have a right to snoop.
Mm-Hmm.
Snooping is a really big part Of being a good mom.
I am not arguing with you.
Ok, anyway, if I hadn't have Snooped then I wouldn't Have found out what Damian's Been doing.
What do you mean? What, what, what's he Been doing? What do you think I mean? I'm asking you.
You were the one who was Snooping, snoop dogg.
Holy shit.
Roofies and viagra.
What are roofies? You don't know What roofies are? I don't know.
Do I? It's the date-Rape drug.
It's the thing you slip in A chick's drink, and like half An hour later she's basically, You can do whatever you want With her.
Eww! I know.
That's what he's doing? That's not what he's doing.
He's just probably doing The selling part.
Ok, that's worse.
That's not worse.
That's not worse, ok? It's way not worse, ok, 'Cause he's not doing Either the dating or the raping.
He's just doing the selling to the guys who are doing The dating and the raping.
I'll talk to him.
Yeah, I, uh, Think he might know.
If he knew, you'd be In a body cast by now.
Yeah, but he's giving me, Like, strange looks.
He's acting really weird.
Yikes.
Yikes? What yikes? Sounds like the same sort Of stuff he pulled with fred.
Who the hell's fred? Tommy's childhood friend.
The one he tortured till he hung Himself because he found out we Were dating each other behind His back.
You think Tommy's trying to Get me to hang myself? Not necessarily.
Maybe he thinks you'll put your Head in the oven or that's great.
Jump off a bridge.
But I think he's just messing With you.
Yeah, well, what do I do? Well, we don't know that he Knows, so definitely steer clear If you can, but don't act Suspicious and don't hang Yourself.
It's what he wants maybe.
You want Another one, miss? I'm not paying For the small talk, slim.
Are you in a bar? Yeah! So? Uh, it's 10:00 in the morning, Maggie.
Who you talking to? Hey, hi.
Sean.
Um, nobody.
You don't really need a phone To talk to nobody.
It's just it's The cable company.
I forgot to pay a Bill.
Hey, listen, you people better Stop calling me, all right? The check is in the mail.
Check is in the mail.
Yeah.
That was lame.
Lame excuse.
Yeah, well, it's all I could Think of.
Yeah.
Got something in your tooth? I don't know.
You know, Sean, lying is Really not your, uh, forte.
Yeah, no, no, it's not.
And you don't know What forte means.
I don't.
No.
Forte is like something that You're really, really good at.
Right, yeah, ok.
Oh, so like in high school, when I was all-State, I was like a, Like a forte free safety, yeah? Yeah, exactly.
Cool, yeah.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm See you later.
Ok.
Check out the bling.
That's like the nicest watch I've ever seen.
Nah, I wouldn't say all that.
Let me see.
I wonder how much she Paid for that.
Oh, few grand at least.
Nah, you think? The thing's silver.
Oh, yeah.
That's a patek philippe, man.
My uncle teddy used to have One of those.
I don't think he paid for it, But, yeah, unless it's A knockoff, it's a, it's a lot where you going, Sean? What? Oh, I was just, Uh, nowhere.
So is this a gift From your old lady? Sorry.
Girlfriend? She's not old, Lou.
She's older.
Older lady with A shitload of money.
Yeah, she's well off.
So? Boy toy.
No.
Yeah.
Please.
Hey, we're not Judging you, man.
Just, you know, work it To your benefit.
Work it what are you Talking about? Get as much as you can while The going's good.
That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, well, what I'm saying Is I'm not about that, ok? Oh, really? Yeah, really.
I don't trade sex for goods Like some arapaho whore.
Sex with me is purely About the sex.
That's why I'm so goddamn Good at it.
Speaking of the sex, When you bang her, does her Walker get in the way, or do you Use it for leverage? Ohh what? You're a jerk, man.
A legitimate question.
An asshole.
Oh, God, get over it.
Oh, man.
I was gonna get a sandwich.
You want any want anything? Right.
How 'bout I'll get you a drink? You need a drink or wow, I got to, uh, I got to pee.
Maybe you should call him Again.
I called him 3 times already.
Maybe his phone is turned off.
Better call mommy.
I have a better idea.
You want to go to a big-Girls' Sleepover at my friend Stacy's House? Stacy from Jesus class? Yeah, it'll be fun.
We can eat popcorn and watch Movies and talk about stuff.
Do we have to talk About Jesus? Well, maybe a little.
You better call mommy.
Tommy.
Tom.
Hey, where were you? Hey, I am talking to you.
You know, it is bad enough that You traumatized our children by Going ballistic at dad's Birthday party, but now you Leave them standing in The street waiting for you? Tommy, let one of the young Guys get that.
No, I got it, Chief.
It's all right.
Are you listening to me? Tommy, you were supposed To pick them up.
They were waiting at the school For almost an hour.
I left you a message.
What's up, frankie? Hey, Tommy.
What's up, jan? What do you got? Well, we're up to almost A grand in the kitty now.
No shit? Yeah, I think Garrity had to Sell some of his vital organs to Stay alive.
I hope his brain was one Of the organs.
Yeah.
Here's the deal.
Every time I hear your voice On my voicemail, I hit delete.
Ok, fine.
You don't want to talk to me, You can talk to my new lawyer.
Ok? 'Cause the gloves Are off, Tommy.
Hey, after this shit And the shit that you pulled The other night, I will get It all.
The girls, the money, The furniture, everything.
Hey, what's this I hear About you chewing nicotine gum? That's flat-Out cheating.
Hey, there.
Engine.
Nice, nice.
Oh, shit.
You okay? I'm fine, I'm fine.
Bring that boarding, guys.
Get her feet.
Grab the feet.
You got 'em? Okay.
Fancy outfit.
This guy must be rich.
He's a handsome cab Driver, numb nuts.
He's not so handsome Anymore.
Hey, something Missing from this equation? You mean Sean? No, I mean the horse Asshole.
Where's the goddamn horse? Hi, hi, there.
You okay? Hey, big boy.
Hi.
How you doing? You all right? Huh? What's the matter? Huh? It's gonna be all right, yeah.
It's okay, shh.
You got a big cut.
Wow, looks like it hurts, huh? Yeah.
Get some of this stuff off you, Okay? Hey.
Oh, pop your stitches? Yeah, a couple.
You cut that with a Glass in the shower? You know what, it's none Of your business.
It's none of my Business now? Holy shit.
Howdy, boys.
Who's your new friend, Garrity? Oh, I found him down There in the Meadow.
He must've broke free from the Carriage on the impact.
Since when are you The horse whisperer? I used to have a horse.
Well, it wasn't really my horse.
Actually, it was a pony really.
Yeah, summer camp.
Buttons was his name.
Yeah, buttons.
I looked forward to it every July, you know? So I could ride him again.
Yeah, he got laminitis.
What's laminitis? I don't know, but Whatever it is, it kills horses.
Anyway, he died.
Summer camp was never the same, Of course.
And I vowed I would never ride Another horse again 'til today.
He's a beauty though, isn't he? Looks about two lengths From the glue factory if you ask Me.
Come on, a little respect.
This guy used to be a Thoroughbred.
You can tell from the muscle Tone.
Looks like about 200 Bags worth of puppy chow to me.
No, he's just malnourished Is all.
Well, those days are over, right Buttons? I'm gonna get you a nice warm Stable and some oats and some Hay.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Buttons! Wow, you weren't shitting About that pedigree, Gary.
Look at the grace of those Strides.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
I'll tell you one thing Though.
Who knew those new city buses Were made so well, huh? Barely a dent.
Tommy, Lou, go check On the passengers.
Franco, take the probie and grab A couple of shovels and start Scraping secretariat off the Street.
Take a minute if you need it, Sean.
You know what, that's Not funny, assholes.
All right, you know What, knock it off, okay? Knock what off? Hey.
Tom, nothing, the guys were just Being dicks.
Oh, really? Yeah, how are you? Good, how are you? I'm all right.
Yeah? What's going on, Guys? Hey, Franco.
So, so Sean.
Yeah? Gonna see your new Girlfriend? Uh, yeah, or maybe.
I don't know.
Which one is it? What? "Yeah, maybe, I don't Know?" Pick one.
Yeah, yeah.
Atta boy.
Is she good? Yup, she's doing good.
She's really good.
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, um you got schmutz on You.
Is she good? She's I don't that's not really I'm not so Comfortable discussing that Really.
Since when? We talk about this shit All the time.
It's pretty much all we talk About.
She like it from the back? Hair pulled? Ass smacked? She chug nut? That's that's a Little I'm trying to be Respectful, okay? I respect her, she's Respectable.
Come on.
You know? So What you're saying is, You're pretty much all about respect now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, trying.
I'm gonna to I'm gonna go back and bury These.
I promised buttons I would.
See ya.
Jesus, Tom.
This is more fun than you Said it would be.
Told ya.
Kid's dying inside.
What're you doing? Nothing, I'm just Sitting.
Coulda sworn I saw Something very book-Like in your Hands.
Show me.
The tao of pooh.
No, it's the tayo of Pooh.
It's pronounced yo, Mike, I really can't Understand how you could be seen In public purchasing this shit.
It's not shit, a friend Gave it to me.
It says pooh right in The title.
It's a different kind Of pooh.
The tayo-Ist taoist.
Whatever.
Taoist.
P'u means natural.
Plain, simple.
Yeah, hand it over.
Why? Because a firehouse is no Place for sensitive souls, Probie.
You used to write poetry.
Yeah, and it cost me my house And my wife, and a whole lot More.
So give it over.
You can't order me to stop Reading.
I'm not.
I'm ordering you to stop filling Your mind with this bullshit, Fortune-Cookie philosophy.
You're taking life lessons From a seml-Retarded bear, Mikey.
And it's not even a real bear.
Consider yourself fortunate That you're not burdened By an overactive mind.
Stick to cartoons and coloring Books.
No, I'm not stupid, you know.
I'm just simpleminded.
The book says that pooh is like An uncarved block.
You know, that's kind of how I Feel.
Like an uncarved block.
It's hard to disagree with.
Yeah, you're busting balls, But you know, winnie's as simple As they come.
He just roams the woods, hangs With his pals, eats some honey, Takes a nap.
He doesn't care about Understanding anything or or even himself or the names That people call him.
He just he just is, you know? He accepts things as they are.
That's the key to his happiness.
That's what this all is, Really.
I mean, you're a little Depressed about the fact that We're gonna keep calling you the Probie.
Maybe this is the big problem That's caused this little Existential life crisis.
You don't know from problems, Kid.
It's not that, I'm just Starting to realize that Nobody's ever gonna have all the Answers, you know? I mean, you may think you know Everything, but you don't.
And you can't.
And you never will, so you Should just stop trying and life Will get a lot easier.
Give me the goddamned book.
Give me the goddamned book! That's an order! Give me the goddamned book! Give me the goddamned book! Go get your own! Get back here, asshole! What the the hell is going on? Just leave it alone, Tom.
You know, you've been acting Very un-Lou like lately, Lou.
You know? I mean, you come in, I can smell Booze on your breath sometimes.
And jumping down everybody's Throat.
And snapping, left, right and Center.
What's? What're you gonna do, tell me You wanna help me? Is that it? You? Who pissed away his beautiful Wife and three kids by crawling Into a bottle for three years? You're gonna help me? We're brothers.
That's what we're supposed to Do.
I've seen how you treat your Brothers.
Okay? So why don't you just save this Intervention for someone who Gives a shit.
Goddamned hypocrite.
What a nice surprise.
Hey, sorry for dropping by Unannounced.
No, it's okay, I'm just Fixing dinner for some friends.
Come on in.
Oh, no, I really can't.
I just wanted to stop by and Give this back to you.
Oh, you don't like it Anymore? No, no, I love it.
It's just that I recently found Out that it's worth more than my Jeep.
Right.
Well, what if I told you it was A knockoff? Um, all the same, I really I can't accept it.
I gotta go.
So, I'll call you.
I know.
Hey, dude, what can I get You? Java'd be nice.
Sure thing.
What's in that again? Is the owner around? You're looking at him.
Jerry Reilly.
Larry bird.
You're shitting me, right? My folks were big celtics Fans.
Call me birdy.
Birdy, I saw your sign Outside, and I'm looking to pick Up a couple extra bucks.
You're FDNY? Cool.
I am a little bit rusty, But I used to pour down at Mchales.
Mchales.
Another celtic.
Aaah.
It's kismet.
Hey.
Damien.
Hello? What's going on? Nothing.
Don't nothing me.
Come here.
You're mom found drugs in Your room again.
What was she doing in my Room? She was cleaning, okay? She seems to be doing a lot Of that lately.
She likes to clean, you Know, when she stressed out.
It's a big de-Stresser for her.
"De-Stresser"? Yeah, it's a word.
Yeah, well, I'm not dealing.
All right? It must be some old stuff.
I had so many hiding places in That room, I lost track.
All right.
Don't bullshit me.
No, I swear.
Okay.
What's with the long face? What? What, Mrs.
Turbody? Come on.
She won't see me anymore.
Won't even talk to me.
You're better off.
You should be dating girls your Own age anyways.
Women are a pain in the ass.
You got plenty of time to deal With them when you get older.
I'm in love with her, uncle Tommy.
You don't know what love is.
You gotta help me get her Back.
What're you nuts? No way, no way.
All the things I've done for You? All the shit you put me through? You owe me.
I don't you owe me.
I'm driving you around all the Time, covering up this Mrs.
Turbody thing, let's go.
Come on, your mom made a pork Loin.
Let's go.
Hey, man, where you been? Just roaming.
Well, the game's about to Start.
You want a beer? Yeah.
Rough shift? Oh, same old shit.
Forget about it, man.
I got a really good feeling About cleveland.
It's lebron's night.
Thanks, bro.
Quarter court Pressure.
Norris, 15 and he got it.
Now very important for miami If they see the opening and Break through the traffic, Just step in there and hit the Shots in this one.
Outside the board and just Underway from the miami arena.
Georgetown and the hurricanes.