Happy Days (1974) s03e04 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
And mine, Happy Days! ♪
Tonight, live from Arnold's Drive-In
and Milwaukee Fried Chicken Stand,
You Wanted To See It brings
you one of the most exciting events
it's ever been our privilege to bring you.
Arthur Fonzarelli,
better known as Fearless Fonzarelli,
will attempt a record-breaking jump
over 14 garbage cans.
This is the moment you've been waiting for.
He starts it up.
He-he's just practicing, that's all.
Yeah. Trying to get a feel of it.
I'm worried Fonzie's going to break his neck.
No, he's not.
I don't care what he leaves me. I hope he can do it.
Am I dead?
Are you all right, Fonz?
Where does it hurt, huh? Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's get him inside. Easy.
I'm all right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm all right.
It's just my leg.
I'm cool. I'm always cool.
All right, Fonz!
Way to go, Fonz!
Let's get him inside.
Come on, careful Watch it.
Watch it. Careful.
How's it feel, Fonz? How's it feel?
Hey, it's all right.
I just bumped it. It'll pass.
How's my bike?
I think it's going to pull through all right.
Yeah, it's really tough! Hey, Arnold!
He's outside crying over a pile of crushed chicken wings.
Let me ask you a question.
Why did he put the chicken stand right there?
Oh, you were supposed to veer to the left.
A guy jumping over 14 barrels has got the right of way.
Yeah. That's in the drivers' manual.
Right. Now put me down. Give somebody else
a chance, will ya? Right.
Okay. Easy.
Okay, Fonz.
All right, girls, come here.
Howard, help him.
Well, I think he wants girls, Marion.
Of course. Isn't that sweet?
Fearless, we'll be back on in just a second.
Can you talk, or are you in too much pain?
Hey, I laugh at pain.
We're coming back.
Could you come over just a little?
Right over to here. That's it.
Well, welcome back to You Wanted to See It,
and tonight you saw it.
A new world's record set by Fearless Fonzarelli.
Fearless, this must be a proud moment for you.
Would you tell our live audience
how you feel at this moment?
Yeah, like a jerk.
Do you hear that, folks?
He feels like a jerk?
Yeah. I was a nerd to make the jump.
A guy doesn't got to risk his face
to prove to his friends that he's cool.
Right That's right, Fonzie. That's tellin' 'em!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I know I'm right.
I know I'm right.
Thanks, Fearless.
I see what you mean Yeah.
I think.
Now, when you were making this jump,
was there any special equipment that you used?
Hey, hey, listen. I've got to tell you something.
My TV career is over. Short, but sweet.
Anyway, America, it was nice to meet you.
Good-bye and good luck.
Everybody, say good-bye.
Bye, America. Good-bye.
Take care. Right this way.
Come on. We've got autographs over here.
Arnold! Arnold!
Let's talk to Arnold,
the man behind this great feat.
Feat, feat, what feat?
A young hood crashing through a chicken stand,
that's no feat.
You want to see a feat? Watch this.
Hello, America.
Arnold's now having a slightly damaged chicken wing sale.
One-half price and we mail it anywhere.
Did you see what they did to my chicken?
Oh
Arnold, thank you for those very interesting comments.
What comments? I was cussing in Chinese.
Arnold, you're really a great kidder.
Now would you just say "good-bye" in another language?
Oh, sure. ¡Adios, amigos!
All right, that's enough autographs, girls.
Here we go.
Hey, Richie this leg don't stand no more.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's all right. It's all right.
You're not all right, are you, Fonzie?
There's something wrong with your knee.
There is nothing wrong It just don't move. It'll pass.
Look, we've got to get you to a hospital, Fonz.
I'll get the car.
Oh, no, no, no, not the De Soto, man.
That's for squares.
What do you mean, for squares?
It's got hydromatic.
If I go, I want to go in an ambulance,
with a red flashing light.
And big windows, so I can wave to my fans.
And then the guy in the sombrero says,
"You ask me if I know Pedro? I had lunch with him."
Hey, come on, Fonz.
We came over to cheer you up.
Yeah, Fonz, you haven't even laughed yet,
and I've been using my class material
My idiot jokes, my smut jokes, my elephant jokes.
Here's my best one.
Why did why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate!
How long you guys going to stay here to cheer me up?
All afternoon, Fonz.
Yeah, we're your pals.
All right, guys, it's time
for the ultimate cheer-up weapon.
Da-da, da, da, da, da! ♪
Da! ♪
Okay, it didn't work.
How about a sing-along?
All right, okay.
To know, know, know him ♪
Is to love, love, love him ♪
And we do, and we do, and we do ♪
And we do, and we do, and we do ♪
And we do ♪
All right, what's going on?
You're not responding here.
There's something you're not telling us.
Hey, there is nothing wrong.
If there was something wrong
I would tell you, wouldn't I? Huh?
The Fonz does not pout.
Come on, Fonz. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad.
Well, what do doctors know, anyway?
What did they say, Fonz?
I got a torn cartilage.
Oh, no A torn cartilage
All right, all right, all right, cool it.
Cool it. It's not that bad.
Uh, what else did they say, Fonz?
I'm going to have to have an operation.
Oh, that hurts. Oh, not an operation.
Wait a minute. Will you just wait a minute?
Oh!
Listen, it's not that bad.
Medical techniques are very advanced now, Fonz.
Cunningham, Cunningham, I think you'd be more convincing
without the rubber nose.
All right, Fonz, I don't blame you.
I was once afraid when I had
Afraid? The Fonz afraid?
Oh, no, no, Fonz, I was afraid.
Not you. I didn't mean you. Did I mean him?
Of course not. Sure. Why worry?
Those operations are nothing.
Yeah, nothing.
They just get in there and rip it out.
Rip it out?
Uh, he didn't mean that the way it sounded, Fonz.
Hey, I want to tell you something.
"Rip it out" does not thrill me.
Would you please use the exit?
But you don't look happy yet, Fonz.
Hey, if you leave, I'll look very happy.
Okay, Fonz, see ya.
Bye, Fonz.
Cunningham, you stay here.
Hey, Fonz, neat ashtray.
Get out of here, nerd.
I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
I'll tell you, that doctor, I don't trust him.
He's always coming in here joking.
Comes through that door, he says "Room service!"
That's not funny.
Now, I want to ask your advice about something.
Hey, you want to ask my advice?
I'm not going to use it I just want to hear it.
Okay, Fonz, go ahead.
Yeah. I want, I'm going to lay out the problem for you.
Now the doctor says if I don't have that cartilage removed,
it could be big trouble.
I could be just fine,
and all of a sudden that knee just swells up.
I could have a trick knee.
I couldn't even start my own bike.
That sounds bad.
You better get the operation.
Yeah. Well, I mean I could date chicks with muscular legs.
I mean, they could start my bike for me.
Then you don't need the operation.
Yeah, but I hate chicks with muscular legs.
Get the operation.
Now, how can I ask your advice?
Do you ever make up your mind?
Well, yeah, sure Well, no, not always.
Well, sometimes I-I can and then
Put the nose back on, will you?
Room service!
Come on in, Doc.
Yeah? What'd I tell you.
Well, Mr. Fonzarelli, how are we doing?
How are we doing?
Your knee looks fine. Mine don't move.
That's very amusing.
I have some good news for you.
I've been able to schedule your surgery
for 8:00 tomorrow morning.
Hey, I don't get up till 9:00.
Good. Then we'll save money on the anesthesia.
You know, I love this work.
I got it, Fonz. I got it.
This is the one, this is really going to cheer you up.
Okay, what is that?
Now what is that?
I don't know, Malph. What is it?
It's a spider doing push-ups against a mirror.
What is this?
When Bob Hope works hospitals, they all laugh.
Last time I do a benefit.
Hey, guys, I know what he wants.
The Fonz wants more singing.
Right. Let's go. All right.
To know, know, know him ♪
Is to love, love, love him ♪
And we do, and we do, and we do ♪
And we do, and we do, and we do and we do ♪
Asleep, Fonz?
No, I'm wide awake.
They're going to take me to the rip-out room
any minute now.
Well, you certainly have a healthy attitude.
Oh, yeah, I oh, am I zonked!
They gave me, uh, a shot, uh, sodium, some
Sodium Pentothal?
Oh, yeah great stuff, yeah.
That's a truth serum.
Yeah, no kidding, I ain't lying, I loved it!
I wonder if it comes in six packs.
Fonz?
Yeah?
Mom said that when you come home
you can stay downstairs on the couch.
She did?
She did?
She did.
Hey, Mr. C. Huh?
We're going to have a lot of laughs.
Yeah, laughs.
Oh, hey, you look great in those,
in those glasses with the big nose.
Fonz? Huh?
Why don't you rest now, okay?
No, no, I want, I want to tell you something,
I want to tell you something.
You know how I dress in my, in my jacket, and my T-shirt,
and my jeans, and my boots,
and everybody thinks I'm so cool?
Yeah, listen, this is the truth serum.
Yeah, well the truth is, I am cool.
Gentlemen, I'm Sister Katherine.
Hiya, Sis!
It's the anesthetic, Sister.
I know.
Is there anything I can do for you, son?
Yeah, how, how about, I'd like to ask you a question.
Is there really a heaven?
Well, I'm counting on it.
And anybody can get in, I mean,
I don't want to be stuck on a cloud
with a lot of nerds, you know.
Nerds?
Well, that's an angel who's not cool.
Oh, I I see.
Well, uh, there will be, uh, cool clouds,
and uh, nerd clouds.
Aaayyh!
Uh, what does that mean?
"Aaayyh!" means fantastic!
Oh, well, this job is so educational.
It's been very nice meeting you.
God bless you.
Sister?
Everything's going to be okay, right?
Aaayyh!
Hey, that's a groovy lady.
Well, I guess it's time for you to take a ride, Fonz.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I can do it myself.
I can just don't do any wheelies down the hall!
We'll be waiting for you, Fonzie.
Yeah, you know, don't worry or anything
I ain't scared.
Oh, yeah.
All right, now try and move that knee.
I can't.
Well, why not?
It's been a week since the operation.
Hey, I tried. I can't, Doc.
I don't snow docs, you know. If I say I can't, I can't.
Oh, here's the pillow you wanted, Fonz.
And here's the puzzle book, too.
Oh, hey, connect the dots! That's my favorite!
Thanks a lot, Shortcake.
Listen, would you do me a favor?
Be a good kid and find me the TV listings,
they're around here somewhere.
Oh, sure, Fonz. Yeah.
Hey, Fonz, a guy just brought your bike back.
Everybody chipped in and got it fixed.
Well, how is it?
Oh, it's great. Just like new.
It cost five extra bucks to get
the chicken smell out, though.
Maybe I better go and see if Arthur needs anything.
Arthur, Arthur, Arthur!
That's all I've heard for a week!
When is he going to get better and get off my couch?
When is he going to get better and get off my couch?
Cunningham, you've got a problem in there,
and I want to talk to this whole family.
Well, what can we do to help?
That's just the point, you've done too much.
You've waited on him hand and foot.
There's no reason for him to get up.
Since I came in here you gave him chocolate cake,
a glass of milk, you changed the television stations twice,
and, and your daughter Shortcake
has been running up and down the stairs like a mad thing!
Why, they don't get this kind of attention
in the intensive care!
You've got to get him up on his feet
and get him walking.
But he says it hurts him to walk.
Of course it hurts, that's normal.
Most of my patients are up in two days.
Did you tell him that?
Yes, I told him that.
He called me a nerd.
Actually, I, I'm an orthopedic surgeon.
Well, we'll talk to him, Doctor.
Listen, the time has gone for talk.
This family has got to do everything in its power
to get that boy up and walking.
Oh, that was some meal.
Hey, Fonz! Your motorcycle's on fire!
What? My motorcycle's on fire?!
Get up! Get up!
Get up! Get up!
Run, run, run! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
What's wrong with you people?
I can't move. You're not moving. Which
Oh
You don't want to move, 'cause you want me to move.
You're just joshing the Fonz, huh?
My motorcycle ain't on fire.
Fonzie, Dr. Bliss says you should have
been up days ago.
What's wrong with you, Fonzie?
Well, I'll tell you the truth about that.
I know that if I put this leg on that floor
I'm going to be in a lot of pain.
And I'm going to make silly noises, and make a funny face.
But the doctor says that's normal.
It might be normal, but it ain't cool.
I ain't putting this foot on that floor
until I can do it with cool.
But you've got to try it sometime.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I try it every day.
All right, I'll try it right now
since you're so hot to see pain!
See? Uncool, not cool!
See that?
Oh!
When do you think it might be better?
Now how do I know? I'm not a doctor.
Can you give me a hint?
Yeah. Whenever.
Whenever, huh?
Well, that narrows it down.
Okay, you lie on the couch.
But you're only hurting yourself.
Come on, Marion.
You really should get up, Fonz.
It's not your fault, it takes a long time
and it really must feel just terrible, and I really
Marion!
You should get up, Fonzie!
Nobody understands cool but me and James Dean.
Now, Arthur, don't you feel more comfortable in pajamas?
Mm-hmm.
He's hardly said a word all day.
All he can say is he can't talk to people
who want him to be uncool.
Don't worry, my plan will work.
Now just leave me alone with him
for a little while, all right?
Good night, dear.
It better work I want my couch back.
We're going to bed, Arthur.
What time is it, Howard?
It's whenever.
Don't bother getting up, I'll get it.
I wasn't thinking about it.
Oh, hi, girls, come on in.
Come on in.
Oh, look at the Fonz.
Doesn't he look cute in his little jammies?
All right now, girls. Clam up, and about face!
Cunningham, would you get me my jacket?
Yeah, right, Fonz.
I told you I didn't want anybody to see me this way.
I just invited them over to cheer you up.
I got all their numbers out of your black books, Fonz.
And I only took the ones with
three stars next to their name.
This is your starting line-up.
All right, girls, you can turn around now.
How does he feel?
The Fonz is fine.
I am F-I-N-E!
Well, not really.
He can't walk, he's totally helpless.
Helpless? Yeah.
But Fonzie, I thought we were supposed to go
on a hay ride this Saturday, remember?
You were going to put hay on your motorcycle seat?
Yeah.
Well, you know, maybe, I
Oh, you think you'll be better by Saturday?
That's great.
You see, I knew you were
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I ain't better.
Yeah, right. He won't be ready to go by Saturday. No.
Well, I guess I'll have to go with Raymond.
Raymond. Raymond.
Hey, aren't we going to go to the beach on Friday night?
And cuddle by the fire?
Well, if he can't walk by Saturday,
he won't be able to walk Friday.
He's stuck on the couch here.
Well, I guess I'll just have to go with Potsie.
Potsie?
Potsie and the beach.
What do you think of that, Fonz? Huh? Huh?
I think that's great.
You think it's great?
Oh, yeah.
Well, sorry, girls.
Hey, listen, I'm available all week with my two good legs.
- Good-bye.
- See you later.
We can go dancing or something.
Bye!
Thanks anyway.
Hold it, Cunningham.
That was a rotten plan, huh?
Your trick didn't work.
Yeah, I know, I know you'll walk whenever.
All right, hold it.
Just don't tell anybody you saw this.
Saw what?
Now it's whenever.
Fonz, you're standing up!
Of course I'm standing up!
What do you think I'm going to do?
Stay on that couch all my life?
You're, you're walking real good there, Fonz.
Does your knee hurt?
Of course it hurts, I just had an operation!
Now listen to me.
I want to tell you something.
I'm not doing this because of your dumb plan.
I just want to stretch my legs, that's all.
Yeah, right, Fonz, right.
Oh! Whoo!
All right now, I'm going to try
and get my cool into shape here.
How'd I do?
You did great, Fonz.
My face. How's my face?
You, you look cool.
Yeah Yeah.
I want to tell you something.
It's killing me and no one will ever know. Yeah.
Hey, girls, I'm up!
Thanks.
All right, girls, aaayyh!
Hi there, and welcome to You Wanted To See It.
In a moment, we're going to have an amazing excerpt
from a previous show.
Hey, they're going to show the jump.
Hurry up, come on, they're going to show the jump!
Hey, come on, Fonz, they're going to show your jump.
Come on! Dad, come on down, they're going
to show Fonzie's jump! All right.
Death defying jump.
Once again he's revving up his engine
He's waiting waiting
And there he goes!
Engine roaring, he's up the ramp!
And up he's in the air!
He made it!
Oh, man, Fonz, that was a great jump.
That was terrific.
You know, Arthur, you should never have tried that.
Hey, well let me tell you something.
I was a nerd to try that jump.
But I sure was beautiful, huh?
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, baby ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪