Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e04 Episode Script

1
Tch, if we go any
deeper into Mexico,
we'll hit China.
Jade, on the phone.
Uncle, we have been
hiking for hours
and there is
still no sign.
Are you certain
this cat's whisker
will work?
You do not trust
uncle's locator
spell ingredients?
What finds rats?
A cat!
One more thing.
Daolon wong
will stop
at nothing to gain
the talisman power
within the rat.
So, do not
dilly-dally.
But I am not
dilly-dallying.
Oh. Must go.
Lunch is ready.
Whoa.
Acupuncture city.
(Laughs)
Real acupuncture
is a good thing,
Jade.
It stimulates
the energy channels,
and rids
the body of--
hola, seor chan.
Bad chi.
Fork over your
rat finder, chan.
Come and get it,
superfreaks.
Uh, no, uh, go
and find your own.
Jade, get help.
Ohh.
Wah!
Agh!
Wah!
Aah!
Unh.
Whoa!
Too bad your niece
won't be showing up
with the federales
anytime soon.
Help has arrived,
amigo.
All: El toro!
Grr.
(Grunts)
Sorry
Uhh!
Whoa!
Oof.
(Yelling)
Whoa!
We'll be back,
chan!
Antler action!
It is fortunate
that Jade located
me and paco.
Yes, El toro--
ugh--quite.
So, did you manage to scout
any likely rat habitats?
Just the village
of nueva plata,
though there
is rumored to be
an abandoned
silver mine nearby.
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Hey, children.
Why do
you argue?
Paco just can't
accept the fact
that supermoose
is, like, so
totally last year.
Is not!
À El cuernudo
à poderoso
is the greatest
masked hero ever.
The greatest?
Uh, that is
a lovely
moose pen, paco,
but I think we
can all agree
that finding
the rat
before the dark
forces return,
is the most
important thing
right now.
So totally 90s.
So totally not.
Do you hear that?
You did not mention
there would be more
than one rat.
Not that I
am bothered.
Which is the rat
that we want?
The one
with the power
to bring motion
to the motionless,
moose boy.
This way!
Jackie: It is
Silver.
Excavated from the mine
to build this shrine.
In honor
of quetzalcoatl.
Ko-wetzel-who-zel?
The Mayan god of the sun,
sky and agriculture.
According to legend,
he was part human
and part plumed serpent.
Well, if he's
not part rat,
where is the little--
(Rat squeaks)
Aah!
Bingo.
Nngh-aah!
Cute little varmint,
isn't he?
(Kisses)
(Choking)
Ew! Yech.
Did it hurt you?
Uh, no. It, uh,
merely took me
by surprise, paco.
I will catch him.
Brr-argh!
No! If you startle the rat,
you could activate its--
power.
Sorry.
Who dares trespass
in my lair?
The talisman power?
Motion to
the motionless.
Well?
Uh, we are not
trespassers,
your lordship, sir.
Uh, we are, uh--
(rat squeaking)
Gotcha!
Uh, pest control.
Uh, yes, uh, a deity
such as yourself
can not have
rats in his lair.
Most unbecoming.
Cihuacoatl.
It looks more
like a Mickey,
but you can name him
whatever you want.
That creature's name
is of no concern
to me, Princess.
Quetzalcoatl
thinks Jade
Is the Mayan goddess
of the earth!
Uh
I sort of see
a resemblance,
but come on.
My do's way
sassier than hers.
I see you have not
lost your sense of
humor, cihuacoatl.
Come. Let us
at last complete
our journey.
Uh, what journey?
We must fly together
into the sun.
Heh heh.
Heh heh.
I don't suppose
you'd believe
you're really just
a statue, would you?
Let us fly
into the sun,
so that our
combined magic
will rain
upon the earth
and protect the land
from the forces
of darkness.
The statue
can do that?
I do not want
to wait and find out.
You will
not have to.
Princess,
the sun awaits.
Heh. You got it.
Let me just run out
for some
tanning butter.
Ooh.
Who dares?
Xolotl.
You are talking
to me?
Oh. Quetzalcoatl
thinks El toro
is the god
of the underworld!
You Bear
the horned feet.
You are xolotl's
messenger.
But they
are antlers.
El toro: Wait!
He is not--
I am not--
ohh!
You will not
take cihuacoatl
to the underworld
while I am here
to defend her.
Aah!
Oof!
(Groans)
El toro,
are you ok?
Of course, paco.
The statue can
shoot fire
from his hands?
God of
the sun, duh.
Chan had a masked
crime fighter with him,
your wongship.
The sun was in our eyes!
We need bigger
weapons!
Excuses, excuses!
I see that if I wish
this task accomplished,
I must do it myself.
Oof!
Ooh.
That's cool.
We'll wait here,
rest up,
order some chi pizza.
Humph. You 3
shall accompany me
and watch!
Perhaps you
will learn something.
Uh, perhaps quetzalcoatl
would not be so angry
if you prove to him
you are not, you know
El toro fuerte never
removes his mask.
Unhand the Princess,
or face my wrath.
Uh, maybe you should
make an exception.
Go, go, go!
The statue
can fly, too?
God of
the sky, duh.
Jackie: In here.
Quetzalcoatl: Aargh!
Jade: Hi-yo,
silver mine.
In you go!
Hang on tight!
(Grunting)
Please keep your
paws and whiskers
inside the vehicle
at all times.
(Rumbling)
(Grunting)
The underworld?
No!
Bad day.
Muy bad.
Aah!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello? Uncle?
Now is not
a good time.
What is more
important than
talking to uncle?
Jackie: I am in
a speeding mining car,
fleeing a reanimated
Mayan statue,
trying to seize Jade
so he can fly her
into the sun!
Why did you
not say so?
It seems you have
found the rat.
Yes.
If the living statue
touches the rat
again,
he will return to
his original form.
I do not think he
is in the mood
to do us any favors.
Unh!
Uncle: One more
thing
(Scream)
Whoa!
Oof.
(Groans)
Whee. Can we
ride again?
Flee no more,
xolotl.
The statue can grow
unbreakable vines?
I know,
agriculture, duh.
Where are your
dark powers now,
xolotl?
Hello
Wake up and smell the
chimichangas, wingding.
"A," he's not--uh,
whoever you think he is.
2, you're really
a statue.
And "b," I may have
an incredibly cool coif,
but I'm not
a Mayan goddess.
Hmm. Clearly
xolotl has clouded
your mind
with his dark magic.
Grr
I mean, yes.
And now that you've
imprisoned him,
the fog has lifted,
oh, mighty lizard-head-guy.
Now do your
favorite goddess
a favor
and pet
the pretty rat.
An odd request,
but as you wish.
Daolon wong: Ahh!
I see my work
has already
been done for me.
I will take
the rat.
The rat is mine.
And, like the rat,
my enemies
have been caged.
Apparently by this
able-bodied warrior.
Yeah, right,
uh, maybe
giant lizard guy
has better
powers than us.
Ever think
of that?
Yeah.
Excuses!
Who are
the interlopers?
They're evil
to the Max.
don't let them
rip off the rat.
Uh, I mean, it would please
your most trusty goddess
to not let the true villains
escape, o great flying one.
But it is he
who bears the symbol
of the horned one.
Paco, give me
your pen.
Huh?
Let us depart.
Oomph!
(Squeaking)
Oh! What?
Be gone, brat!
Oh!
You just
stand there?
Hey, watch
and learn,
remember?
Look, oh lord
of sunlight,
he is truly the god
of the underworld.
You, there!
Your power of light
is no match
for the blackest chi.
Dark magic.
So, you are
truly xolotl.
But then, you
Uh
Talk later!
Princess!
See? The first
lesson of battle:
Surprise the enemy.
Surprise!
What? Stop her!
Little girl?
We can handle that.
(Panting)
(Pants)
Hey!
Oh!
Gah!
Adios.
Ooh. Where's a mouse hole
when you need one?
Give me that!
Hi. We're
your new neighbors.
Can we borrow
a cup of rat?
Eh, cuernudo?
How about a heaping
helping of moose?
(Squeaks)
Come here, you!
(Gulps)
Ay-yi-yi!
What is keeping
those fools?
(Henchmen screaming)
Supermooses:
Antler action!
Que?
Viva los cuernudos
à poderosos!
More horned ones?
Uh-uh. Antlers.
Hey, uh, supermooses
Supermeese?
You guys,
free my friends!
Ba-da-ba-ba ba-ba
antler
Action!
Ooh.
Freedom is mine,
once again!
Antler action!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Stop, xolotl!
I shall right
my wrongs.
You shall try.
Ooh!
Well, I'll be
stuffed. Candy!
Sweet!
Open season, boys!
It's like
a birthday party!
Super moose
to the rescue!
(Gasps)
Los cuernudos
àneed help!
Oomph! Ugh.
Finn: Piatas. Made
to take a beating.
Tag.
Quit it. Ow.
Whoa!
Ahem!
Ok. It's on.
No. It is over.
Supermoose:
boo-doo-dul-oo-boo boo-boo
yeah!
Bravo!
Whoa!
Oof!
Give me the rat!
Why, I will
scatter its power
back to the winds!
I don't care
if he isn't cute.
I won't let
you hurt him!
Very well, child.
Quetzalcoatl:
And I do not care
if she is not
a goddess.
I will not let
you harm her!
Yeeow!
Ho-ho!
You go!
You da sun god!
You da sun god!
Give me some
hoof there, partner!
Such power within
this small creature.
And such courage
within you.
With heroes
such as you
protecting the land
from the forces
of darkness,
I am content to return
to my proper place.
Quetzalcoatl
bids you farewell.
I think quetzalcoatl
is muy excelente.
Almost as excelente
as you, El toro.
You saved us all.
Him and El
- à cuernudo poderoso.
Some toys never go
out of style.
(Rat squeaks)
Jade, I think
it is feeding time.
Want to do
the honors?
Uh, si.
Jade: I think
it likes you,
seor fuerte!
Cute!
Hey, Jackie!
Yes?
Have you done
any extreme sports?
When I'm filming everyday,
I always do
the dangerous things,
the dangerous things.
Then when I get hurt,
you can see it
on the screen.
Some of my friends,
they went skiing.
Coming back,
one broken leg,
one broken arm.
When on holiday, I never
do these kinds of things.
On the screening,
I do everything.