Mind Your Language (1977) s03e04 Episode Script

Oki-toki everybody, our
troubles are over
ha ha you are immigrating
scuse me if I don't laugh
hey we are going to
make everybody rich
I like very much to be rich
this time next week we could
have half a million pounds
we rob bank-o
no we win on the football pools
oh you never win on them
sure we have a good system
all we have to do is pick 11
matches that gives
us 220 lines, we are bound
to get one line right
all right, how much
do we be pay?
20 ps each ok I pay
now pick up the match you think
is going to be a scoring draw
shoumattersho! That
be queen sappat
that will be queen sappat oki
toki next customer
please-o please-o ok
pick the mach
aso aso
- noso fulamo
Tokyo - oki Tokyo
- who's next?
- Here's my money
- oki pick up a mach
- liverspool v portvalley
- oki toki, the next
one - yes please
Liverspool v city of Pristol
- the city of the Bristols
- ok who is the next?
- What is going on here?
- We are doing football pools
- you want to
join in profesore? 20p
you could win a half a million
- I could also loose 20p
what's 20p
that could not mean a lot
to you but it does to me
I don't exactly own a
fortune Teaching English
- why not you ask for
a lift-o? - Lift-o?
- More money-o
- you mean a raise
forget the 20p we give you
a free line now pick the mach
suppose we pick the mach
later now we got work to do
take your places
right, now tonight we're
going to concentrate
on the art of conversation
we start with you Ali and
Anna would you sit here please
now you have never met before and
you are sitting on a park bench
when along comes Ali and sits next to
you and starts a conversation
good morning lady
- come on Anna say something
- I never speak
to strangers in the park
this is very commendable but let us
assume that this time you do
start again
- good morning
lady - guten morgen
- it is being a
very nice day - ya
Anna this is supposed to be
a Conversation in English
Up till now you have
said Guten morgen and ya
Will you start again?
- Good morning
lady - good morning
- oh blime, it is being - a very nice day
yes it is nice vezar'
It was also a
nice weather yesterday
Yes perhaps it will also
be nice vezar' tomorrow
yes or perhaps it
could be raining
yes perhaps it could be raining.
All right that will do both of
you Absolutely scintillating
- Right, Juan - yes
would you come out please?
Now you are
sitting in a restaurant
- eh, Spanish
restaurant - if you like
when Sue-Li enters
eh, senior, what is a Chinese girl
doing in a Spanish restaurant
- maybe she likes Spanish
food - ah, its all right
the restaurant is crowded
but there is
an empty seat at Juan's table
- Juan what are you doing?
- I was leaning on the table
yes, come now Sue-Li
- excuse me, is this seat
taken - no, you sit
thank you, arrow me to
intloduce myself, Shon Sue-Li
- my name is Carlos - Juan
what do you mean Carlos
I never give my right name
when I'm picking
up. Plenty smart eh?
You're not supposed to
be picking her up just
having a conversation
- all right all right, want a drink?
- I don't dlink bad for 'river'
- cigarette? - I don't
smoke, bad for rungs'
- I bet you're not married
eh? - You are very rude
eh what is the matter with
you? I just make ajoke
What do you
want to talk about?
We could discuss if
dictatorship of Proletariat
is better than dictatorship
Of bourgeois capitalism
- we cannot do that - why not?
Because I don't understand
what you are talking about
Sue-li does every conversation
has To be apolitical relic?
Chairman Mao says that we must take
every opportunity to spread socialist
doctrine among unlighted people
I would like you to keep chairman
Mao out of the classroom now
thank you both of you
now Max and Daniele
now let us assume
that you are at a party
and you have just
been introduced. Now use your
imagination and start a conversation
- hello beautiful
- hello gorgeous
hey now this party not very good
why not we go somewhere else?
D'accord let's go to my place
that was a short conversation
Mr. Brown there is an old
sir who Wants to see you
he is sitting in the
canteen - what does he want?
I don't know but he said
it was very urgent
all right then, while I'm away you can
do some exercises.
Exercises one, two,
three, four, seven
no Juan not those exercises exercises
from your book page 120
sorry, wrong number
- would you like another cup of tea Mr
- English, no thank you.
Ah, you know you do
remind me of my husband
- really - yeah,
just before he died
- ah, Mr. Brownstone - Brown
- I'm English
- congratulations
- no, my-name is
English - oh sorry
- can we sit down
- I'm afraid I'm busy
I wont keep you, it is a
very confidential matter
my card
the English school of
languages H.C. English
right, now I'll
come straight to the point
good
- no use keeping
around the bush - no
- procrastination is a
thief of time - absolutely
and never bid off till
tomorrow what you can do today
- very true - where was I?
Going straight to the point
oh yes yes, thank you very
much mr. Brownstone
- Brown - Brown Brown yes
now our teacher of english language
has left us rather hurriedly
and I want you to take his place
oh you're offering me ajob?
Your name was given to me by one of
your former students, miss Svetzen
yes Ingrid
Ingrid well now I want you to
start as quickly as you can
I didn't take the job yet
the starting salary is 5000 a year
raising to 7500 by yearly increments
that is very generous
the laborer is worthy of
his hire what do you say?
I would like to
think it over if I may
well don't keep me waiting to long I
need to know by tomorrow
- Goodbye Mr - Brown
I know, I know
bad news Mr. Brown?
On the contrary, I've just been
offered ajob at 5000 a year
that's nice, are you
going to take it?
I don't know, after all,
money isn't everything
- there is job
satisfaction - yeah
- that is something
money cannot but - no
- so I've decided what to
do - you're gonna stay here
no I'm taking the job
leaving!
I'm sorry to spring
it on you like this
Miss Courtney, but it is good
an Opportunity to miss
I see, and when do you intend
to take up This new position?
They want me as soon as
possible so I thought I'll
report there as soon
as possible
you didn't give me much
time to find a replacement
I know but I cant afford to
wait and risk loosing the job
very well Mr. Brown you have
obviously made up your mind
and I wish you every
success - thank you
I hope you'll be very happy
But I think I can safely say
You wont find
another principal Like me
right time is up, you'll
leave your books on my desk
but before you go, I
have something to tell you
I can't be teaching you
after tonight
oh dearly me, have
you got the bag?
The bag?
Yes please, has Miss
Courtney given you the bag?
You mean the sack?
Jelly good
no I shall be
leaving for a betterjob
we are being very
sad to be loosing you
- I shall miss you very
much - we shall all miss you
eh, maybe you change your mind
one must strike
while the iron is hot
holy ravioli, you get
ajob in a laundry?
I'm just using a figure of speech
I'll have the same job but in a
Commercial school
for a lot of Money
Well come on thank you
- I hope you have the much
luck - thank you Giovanni
amigo
may your days be
filled with happiness
thank you Rangit
- au fiterzein - Anna
- may Allah watch over
you - you too Ali
- good luck comrad
Brown - Sue-li
au revoir Mr. Brown
et bonne chance
so long boss
good bye master g
much-o success-o
come
good morning
good morning, what
can I do for you?
I'm Jeremy Brown
the english teacher
you offered me ajob yesterday
of course you are, I'm terribly sorry
I've got an awful memory for faces
Mr Brownoak Brown Brown
- when shall I
start? - Start what?
Teaching, I'm accepting the job
have you left your
other position yet?
Yes I gave my notice last night
- how unfortunate - why?
Well you see we don't
need anybody now,
the old teacher came
back yesterday
good isn't it?
- Not for me, isn't it.
No, I suppose not, no, no what
will you do now mr. Brownstop
- Brown - Brown, Brown
- there is one thing I
cant do - what is that
which way is the
nearest employment exchange?
Hello Sid
Hello Mr. Brown
what are you doing here? I
thought you'd left
I went out but the job
was Already taken
What did you do?
I went to the employment
Exchange and I told them
That I had five A
levels And a BA Oxon
What did they say?
They offered me ajob
as A road sweeper
Have you ever
worked on the Market?
I'm trying to get
you ajob You know
Yeah doing what?
- Are you any good with
the money? - What money?
The spew the chatter
- oh the tool? - Yeah
what will I have
to revile about?
Hold that and I'll
give you a rough idea
now you are standing in the market
you see and you got a lot of people
around you and you say come here
I'll tell you what I'm prepared to do
I got a golden chain worth 20 pounds
A gold bracelet worth 15 pounds
The gold earrings aren't they nice?
If you get them from the jewelry
They'll cost you 40 pounds I'm not
gonna sell them to you
For 40 or30 or 20
Ten pounds will be good
Speak up speak up
chap A five for the lot
- I'll take it
- I'm only demonstrating
- what do you say? - No
it's not quite me somehow
you'll have to go back on
the doweling won't you?
Or I could ask miss
Courtney for my old job back
do you think
she'll give it to you?
I'm sure she will she's
not cruel enough
Enter
hello miss Courtney
Mr. Brown isn't this a surprise?
Did you forget something
when You left last night?
No no
then to what do we have
the honor of that visit?
Well I, you've
done something to your hair
my hair?
Yes it looks different
somehow much more feminine
really?
Yes I will be saying you
look quite attractive
all right Mr. Brown
what are you after?
Pardon?
I'm wise enough even while I
was Being softened up
Now what do you want Oh
reference no doubt
- not exactly -
what is it then?
Well I'll come straight
to the point miss Courtney
well I thought about the new job
last night and I realized that
money isn't everything
really?
You cant buy happiness
so you've decided
not to take this job
you're very perceptive
I tried to call you earlier to
tell You to bring the register
Mr. English said you weren't there
Because there was no vacancy after all
So now you come crawling back to
me Expecting to be reinstated
I d be grateful I mean it will be much
Easier on the students, easier all around
- I quite agree - good
- except for one thing - what?
I have already
engaged a new Teacher
I'm wondering what
new teacher will be like?
He wont be as nice as mr. Brown
maybe we be have a lady teacher
hey listen everybody's the
boss is back!
- Mr. Brown-o? - Yes Sid just
told us, he didn't get the job
- he cant be coming back here
its too late, we got a new teacher
if new teacher
leaves profesore can come back
how can new teacher leave?
We fix it, we all act stupid
new teacher thinks, I not
teach these people, I leave
it's a good idea,
we all get stupida
for you that is easy
sit down everyone, hurry
up, sit down
this is your new
teacher Mr. Wilkins
Mr. Wilkins these are your students
Ali Adim, Anna ,Shmidt, Juan Cervantes
Chong Sue-Li, Rangit
Sim Giovanni Copello,
Daniele Favre M a x imilian
Papandrios, Jemila Ranja
And Taro Nakazumi
You'll soon get to know n
them Any problem, I shall be in my office
right I do hope we'll all get
along together extremely well
now you can you tell me
how far you're up to?
- Por favor? - How
far are you up to
Ah si, si I am 5feet 11 inches
- no no no, not how tall you
are - 5 feet 11 inches
never mind I'll soon find
what progress you've made so far
now you what is
the feminine of drake?
Miss drake
- you, spell
cough - K, O, F, F
you, what is an apostrophe
acording to the new testament there
are 12 apostrophes
Peter, Andrew, James, Anazabity,
john, Philip Sol, Thomas, Marcus, Mathiew,
Simon andLucas
You, give me a sentence using
the Word defer'
Minx are bred for the fur'
you, explain the meaning of the
sentence to bury the hatchet'
to chop someone's head off
you complete the following proverb
people who live in glass houses'
should get undressed in the dark
you explain what is meant
by a circular letter
most certainly, a circular
letter is the letter O
- you - aso
what is an aspirate?
It is-o a tablet-o you take-o when-o
you have-o a cold-o
you, would you please, please tell me
what isthe opposite of a coward?
A bull-ard
well I'm appalled at your lack
f knowledge of the English language
in all my years as teacher
I have never
come across a class as
ignorant as you are
no wonder you former teacher left
there is enough to make any ordinary
man leave, however, I am no ordinary
man, I shall look upon this task
as a personal challenge, I intend to
teach you old English if it takes me
a life time, now
hello Mr. Brown,
what are you doing here?
I'm not quite sure, miss Courtney
telephoned me this morning
I wonder why she wants to see me
I have no idea, why don't
you go In and ask her?
I was just going
enter
you wanted to see
me miss Courtney?
Oh yes Mr. Brown,
are you still jobless?
Yes I'm afraid so,
someone offered
me job this morning
but I turned it down
not enough money?
No the money was quite all right
the job seemed quite attractive
office, boss, just didn't like the
idea of working below the ground
- on the underground?
- No, gentlemen conveniences
well, would you like
your old job back?
Yes, but I thought you'd already
offered it to someone else
yes be he telephoned this
morning to say the he had left
oh, did he give any reason?
None whatsoever. Now Mr. Brown,
I suggest you start immediately
On a temporary basis of course
the boss is coming, nice to see you
boss, three hurray hip hip for the boss
thank you very much
its all right
we are getting you back
what do you mean you are
getting me back?
Well its like this profesore,
we have the good
news and we have
the bad news
all right what's the good news?
Oh blime, we are getting rid of
mr. Wilkins so that you
can be returning
you mean he left
because of your behavior?
Not so
last night Mr.
English came to find you
ah! From the commercial school
ya, he's wanting to tell you he
has ajob for you after all
ah that is good news
but now we come to the bad news
we are be tell Mr. English you
are not to wantjob with him
so instead he give
job to Mr. Wilkins
hey, we plenty smart eh?
Yes plenty
profesore, we have the more good
news and the more bad news
all right
first the more good news we got
8 scoring draws on the football
the bad news is: We forgot
to post the cards
all right I've got some good
news and some bad news for you
firstly, the good news, now
that I'm back, I'm staying
now for the bad news, you got
extra homework every night