The Diplomat (2023) s03e04 Episode Script

1
Hal, I'd like you to
be my vice president.
[Billie] If you two came up
with some language you think works,
I'd love to hear it. Make sure
we're all singing the same song.
I have two jobs.
On two continents.
Where's my fucking copy of the plan?
Public marriage, private divorce.
Are you gonna fuck people?
Divorced people do that.
[Kate] Yeah, I guess so.
The president's thinking of dumping Hal
and picking Synar.
The president's keeping her options open.
A British citizen killed herself
in a CIA safe house
she wasn't supposed to be in.
Are you
Gonna get fired? Probably.
If your government doesn't want me here,
I'm done.
Should've fucking read me in.
Hal is three votes away
from Senate ratification
of the Law of the Sea Treaty.
- What?
- He is infuriating.
But just when you think
you can't take a second more, he
[Grace] Makes history.
[measured string music playing]
[music fades]
[purposeful string music playing]
[Stuart] It's a big change.
So, as we start this
new chapter together,
I urge you to tread lightly.
- Try not to overwhelm.
- No praise.
No praise of any kind.
Doesn't like it.
[Frances] Congratulations?
[Stuart] No congratulations.
Do not use the word second lady
if you can avoid it.
And if she seems
a little bossy, a little snappy
If she seems to be in a very,
very bad mood
Sometimes she mutters things.
I can't understand them.
[Stuart] If that happens,
try to remind yourself
that this will not last forever.
It's just a natural human response
to change.
To sum up,
hold on tightly, let go lightly.
Be cool, hang back,
don't take your eyes off her.
But don't make it seem that way. Good?
My team has to stay within
a mandated perimeter
of the second lady at all times.
Six feet at most.
That's two meters.
The ambassador likes her detail
at a distance, so as not to interfere.
Would she consider
saving her life interference?
Hey there everybody.
The Secret Service intend
to stand close to you at all times.
That's why we call it close protection.
- I explained that you prefer
- Byron. You gotta relax.
[inhales deeply, exhales]
Everyone's just
finding their feet, right?
You guys all gotta get out today.
It is gorgeous.
[phone vibrating]
[sighs]
[vibrating persists]
- Hi.
- Where are you?
Traffic.
[Stuart] But you're coming?
Absolutely.
Okay, you have a few minutes
'cause she's taking a shower.
But she doesn't spend
a lot of time in there.
On my way.
Okay.
[sighs]
[Stuart] Everything around here
went smoothly while you were in DC.
We screened Hal's swearing in,
half the embassy showed up.
- You're coming back to a lot of goodwill.
- Aw, sweet.
We held a country team meeting
to address the Exchequer's response
to the IFD report.
- I've got a one-pager to catch you up.
- Okay.
And you've gone viral,
you and the vice president.
- It's a meme.
- Oh, yeah?
[cutesy automated voice] So cute!
So cute!
- [party horns hoot]
- [fireworks pop]
So cute!
So cute!
So cute!
Well, look at that. [sneers]
So cute!
[Stuart] The White House loves it.
Uh, they're hoping
for more marriage-forward press.
Sure.
They pitched a joint interview in, uh,
don't get upset, Harper's Bazaar UK.
But I told them
it's gotta be The Telegraph
or something more substantive.
- Whatever they want.
- Great. I'll tell scheduling.
- Mm-hmm.
- Making sure you're not overbooked.
There's a lot of invitations coming in.
Uh, dignitaries, their wives
[inhales deeply] A lot of wives.
Really, everyone wants to see you.
But I made clear
you are not doing five high teas a day.
Why not?
What's happening right now?
- Stuart second lady is all upside.
- Really?
If I want to meet with Turkey
or the Saudis, no one can say no.
- You want to meet with the Saudis?
- Not today.
I wanna meet whoever at the Foreign
Office deals with resource extraction.
Which resource?
Oil, but from water.
Is this about the drilling licenses
in the North Sea?
Mm-hmm. [slurps]
Denmark is losing their shit.
- Did you hear that part?
- No.
They want to block the deal,
which they don't really wanna do.
They just want help
pulling it back a little, like 80%.
- That's not a little.
- We'll work something out.
At which point we'll be heroes
to Denmark and the UK and
What?
Who's gonna have a lot to say
about drilling licenses in the North Sea?
The Saudis.
Then we will talk to them about Turkey.
Okay. Okay.
People may invite the second lady to tea,
but the ambassador's gonna walk
through the door.
- [laughs] Ma'am, I am so proud of you.
- Half full, my friend.
[Eidra] Hi.
- Good morning.
- Are you hungry?
- The scones aren't dry at all today.
- I'm good.
You want him to leave?
He's why I'm here.
He called a meeting for us.
Oh, let's sit down then.
[Kate exhales contently]
Proceed, sir.
Are you familiar with a program called
the Cooperative Global
Messaging Initiative?
[Eidra scoffs]
Sounds like she is.
It's an intelligence partnership.
[scoffs]
[inhales] Do you wanna
No. I'm excited to hear it from you.
The CIA director and the head of MI6
are both giving public remarks
to remind anyone who may want to defect,
particularly say from Russia,
that we are open for business.
- Open doors, open windows.
- Stop.
Walk through our open door before the GRU
throws you out an open window.
It makes the Kremlin think
that their people are turning on them.
It sows a lot of paranoia.
- Smart. We did the same thing with Saddam.
- Did it work?
- He killed half his cabinet.
- Open window.
But destabilizing.
If we took point
- Who's we?
- Embassy London.
If we took point for Europe
All of Europe.
London is a gateway to everywhere.
- Sorry, what's the problem?
- Nothing.
Can we discuss it?
I'm happy to discuss it.
I'm gonna be gone.
The next guy in my job can deal
with the parade of yahoos
who show up wanting a new identity
and a flat in Mayfair.
You're not gonna be gone.
Particularly if you're running
the program.
- [gasps softly] They need a point person.
- They do.
Because nobody in the world
wants to do it.
It's labor-intensive.
For who? State?
For the CIA.
State takes credit.
Meanwhile, my station is flooded
with desperate souls
bearing no real intelligence.
Whatever. Not my station anymore.
If you're running a multinational
project, it's a lot harder to fire you.
Is this for real?
[sighs]
[clears throat]
Walk with me for a minute.
I know it's not ideal,
and I know you're not crazy about it,
but it's something to think about.
It isn't. Anything else?
- I'm so sorry. Washington was a shit show.
- It's fine.
I got swept up in the hell machine,
and it fucked up my meeting with Diane.
- She understands.
- She does. I called her last night.
She thinks I can make more headway
with the Brits than she could anyway.
I have a meeting today
at the Foreign Office.
How about you join me,
and we sit with Dennison after, together?
This ship has sailed.
- It hasn't. Diane said
- Diane Clack is pissed.
The director of the CIA made time
on her schedule, and you stood her up.
Her message is,
"Now you can handle it yourself."
Well, I'm gonna handle it.
[footsteps retreat]
[curious string music playing]
- She supposed to be me?
- April?
- The walking haystack.
- She's a decoy, not a double.
- What's the difference?
- Decoy isn't one-to-one.
Wooden duck, real duck.
In this case, is wooden duck
also the decoy for a mental patient?
It's a standard precaution.
Get her a hairbrush.
I'll be out in a half hour.
- This is where you stop walking.
- I'm happy to come along.
Okay, don't you guys usually wait
at the bottom of the stairs?
Mr. Bonaventura was uncomfortable
with our protocol.
[inhales]
This is a secure building.
There are police at every entrance.
Unfortunately,
we have a mandated perimeter.
- Two meters.
- Yes.
Which is six feet.
We can't protect you from downstairs.
This is not gonna work for me.
It's how we handle it.
You've worked with someone
who's ambassador and second lady?
Ma'am, due respect to the
Foreign Service, if you're shot dead,
the headline of your obituary will read,
"Second Lady Killed."
Who's gonna shoot me?
You're the only people
in this entire country carrying guns.
Ambassador.
- Good morning.
- Good morning. Welcome.
Uh, Nolan Green, Minister of State
for Climate, Environment, and Energy.
- My office is this way.
- Thank you for taking the time to meet.
- Not at all. Always make time for you.
- [flattered chuckle]
Aha, Mrs. Vice President.
[Nolan] Prime Minister.
You.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
- Sir
So, what's the game?
Oh, Mr. Green and I were
just about to sit down.
- Yes, heading the other direction.
- Meeting with Nolan, you lucky lady.
[Nolan] The ambassador and I were planning
to speak about the drilling licenses.
We hope to have a proposal ready for you.
I'm not entirely sure when [clears
throat] but certainly not today.
- [Trowbridge] Hello.
- [man] Morning, madam.
- [Kate] Good morning.
- [Trowbridge] Right. Shall we?
Oh.
Candid.
[Kate chuckles]
[Trowbridge] Sit.
Thank you.
So, how can I help?
Well, the Danish prime minister
and foreign minister
and the minister of the environment
- Uh-huh. Many Danes.
- Indeed.
Uh, they are concerned about
the potential for cataclysmic damage
to the marine ecosystem.
We're looking for ways
to address those concerns
without ignoring your very real need
for energy independence.
- Well, it's fragile, the North Atlantic.
- Sea.
- Pardon?
- The North Sea.
Sorry, not the North Atlantic.
We want to make sure we don't lose access
to Denmark's intelligence
or their shipping routes.
You know, they do drill there too,
the virtuous Danes.
Perhaps they don't want us
eating off their plate.
They're scaling back.
The United States would consider it
an act of very good faith
if you could as well.
Perhaps 40% right away
with a commitment to
to a timeline.
Look, nobody would be
happier than I, genuinely.
But that leaves the whole of Europe
dependent on the Druzhba pipeline.
We love to lecture autocrats,
but if we go back to Russian oil,
we're not fighting fascism,
we're funding it.
[Nolan] If we double down on oil,
we're not fighting the climate
catastrophe, we're feeding it.
A conundrum wrapped in something else.
- If we don't find a way forward
- The White House, are they leaning in?
Well, the State Department
If it's a White House request,
then I'd be delighted to discuss it.
Perhaps a chat with
our man in Washington.
I'm I'm sorry?
Is Hal short for Harold or Henry?
Um well, neither. It's
Look at you, all a flutter
at the thought of him. [chuckles]
A phone call will do, but, um
if he prefers video conferencing,
then I'm agnostic.
- Sir, just before
- I'm due in Greenwich.
Huh. Come along,
we can hash it out in the car.
You can prepare me
to speak with your liege.
- I would love to.
- Excellent.
[curious string music playing]
[phone vibrates]
- Where are you?
- [Kate] He's eating me alive.
- Dennison?
- [Kate] The prime minister.
I'm calling Dennison's office.
Telling him you're coming without me.
He'll get it.
I was window dressing anyway.
You weren't.
I was supposed to sit there modestly
while you explained why I'm integral
to the safety of the free world.
I will say that on the phone,
and you just waltz in there and dazzle.
- I'm getting fired.
- I mean it.
He knows you're indispensable,
you're just giving him language
to use with Trowbridge.
And maybe a gift.
Trowbridge likes a bribe.
I think this is going
the wrong direction.
Not cash. Do him a solid.
Give him something nice.
The Cooperative Global
Messaging Initiative.
- No.
- Open doors, open windows.
- The PM's on his way. Get in the car.
- Yeah.
- Can you just try it?
- Kate.
I'm calling Dennison now. Dazzle!
[Trowbridge] I'm feeling a bit peckish.
Let's stop for a bite on the way?
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Ms. Park, good to see you.
I'm sorry the ambassador
isn't able to join us.
The PM really values her counsel.
We kept you waiting.
I hope you'll forgive us.
I was going to leave my phone outside.
We've got a Faraday bag in the hall.
Shall I take yours too?
[Tom] Thank you, Jared.
[Dennison] Please.
Margaret Roylin.
Is the foreign secretary aware
you and I conferred directly
about Roylin on Tuesday?
He is.
I shared every detail.
Forensics, remediation.
Did anyone encourage her?
To swallow a bottle of pills?
I think this is a conversation we continue
in the presence of the legal attaché.
- Eidra. Did he ask you to do it?
- And counsel from Langley.
Who?
The ambassador's new very dear friend.
The adjoining rooms have been cleared.
No one's listening or recording.
You're sure?
Because if I'm following,
this is dicier for you two than for me.
That's correct.
So you want to know
if your prime minister asked me
to murder the woman who got him elected?
If we're not being recorded,
you can respond vocally.
I'd like to know
if the prime minister asked you
to murder the woman that got him elected.
No.
Other questions?
- [inhales deeply] Eidra.
- Tom.
This is not about you.
This is about Nicol.
I got that. And the answer is still no.
Then what the fuck happened?
Nothing about her suggested suicide risk.
I never would have left her alone.
- Of course.
- It was medication for sciatica.
I am as mystified and upset
and disappointed in myself as you are.
- No one blames you.
- Nicol does.
I think you've done fine work here.
I'd like you to stay.
But unless we find something to put
the prime minister back on his heels,
he would like to let you go.
I would love to keep my job.
I'd love to tell you the prime minister
solicited a CIA assassination
in order to do it, but he didn't.
Is there anything else
that might convince him to keep me on?
We haven't come up with anything.
Is the foreign secretary familiar
with the Global Communication
Cooperation Initiative?
[exhales sharply] I'm not sure
this is the right time for it.
- [pensive orchestral music playing]
- [sighs]
Hi.
How bad is it? [exhales]
The White House press office called.
It appears 10 Downing Street's entire
feed is pictures of you and the PM.
- You think that was my idea?
- He's a bit of a side-hugger, huh?
The only thing he could commit to,
during a three-hour-long conversation,
was that he'd like to be guest of honor
at this new administration's
first state dinner.
But he's not head of state.
Does he know that a state dinner
means that the guest of honor is
The King? Yes.
He said they're ready
to modernize the monarchy.
By making him part of it?
Every time I tried to bring up
the fucking drilling licenses,
he would go deaf for like three seconds.
And then, suddenly,
we were talking about Hal again.
- Why?
- Why what?
- Why Hal?
- Why not?
Apparently, one can always talk
about Hal. It's not subject-dependent.
It turns out, the only live human
on the face of the earth
the PM's prepared to talk to
about oil extraction
and maritime surface blight
- Hal Wyler.
- Do you want to call him?
- No. Should I?
- No.
No!
- What about Gannon?
- [sighs]
Trowbridge doesn't give a fuck
about State. He wants White House.
He's not gonna say that to Gannon's face.
Let him get the ball rolling.
- Okay. It's not a terrible idea.
- I'll set it up.
Hey, I could use a minute with Eidra.
She's not back from the Foreign Office.
I don't think it went very well.
Fuck.
Fuck! Um
Trowbridge wants me at this
cocktail thing at Dennison's later.
Could someone bring something
from the house for me to wear?
Black. Simple.
Simple!
- [man] The secretary is already on.
- [Kate] He is? Shit.
Thank you.
Mr. Secretary, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to keep you waiting.
No, no. I didn't want
to keep you waiting.
Congratulations.
Law of the Sea Treaty. Very impressive.
You know Hal. Likes to make an entrance.
What can I do for you?
Tanya Bengali gave me a call.
She's our guy in
Denmark.
Is this about the drilling licenses?
Exactly. Minor issue.
But somehow the prime minister
got involved
and wants to draw in the White House.
- My hope is that you step in
- I agree with the prime minister.
You do?
If we're not aligned with the White
House, I don't intend to swim upstream.
I think the White House would be happy
to have you swim pretty much anywhere.
Kate, if Hal wants me fired,
he should do it. Not send you to test me.
- I'm sorry?
- I supported his nomination for the go.
I stumped for him all over the Hill.
- Mr. Secretary
- I am not after him.
I have never been after him.
We had a simple disagreement
about strategy in Tel Aviv.
- Not even strategy. Tactics.
- Sir
Bill Rayburn, God rest his soul,
came up with this story
that I wanted Hal barred
from the administration.
I said I didn't want him
on the seventh floor with me.
That's a very different thing.
Whoa, whoa. Let's slow down here.
[Stuart] How'd it go with Ganon?
- He definitely took the call seriously.
- Good.
He wants to know if Hal
is going to fire him
or send him on special assignment
to the Antipodes.
What?
"And if it isn't too much trouble,
could I call Hal?"
- "Put in a good word."
- No.
Do I have "ask me to call Hal" tattooed
on my forehead,
and I'm the only one who doesn't know it?
It's a phase. It'll pass.
[Stuart inhales deeply]
I hate to be
on the extremely annoying bandwagon, but
it might be time
to put your head down and call Hal.
Sorry.
You want to know something, pal?
I already did.
Oh. What did he say?
Couldn't get past his secretary.
I couldn't even get Nora.
They said he'd call me back. He hasn't.
It's a demanding job. He'll call.
[sighs softly]
- Did they get me a dress?
- Oh, yeah. It's right here.
- Pensy says it's an American designer.
- Great.
I guess it's simple in its way.
[determined music playing]
[breathless] Oh, my fucking God.
[exhales] Okay.
[sighs]
I'm going to a cocktail party.
- I talked to Dennison without you.
- Great.
No?
I can't sit in this.
- Their one hope
- Mm.
for my professional survival
was that I had forced Roylin to
shove a bottle of pills down her throat
at the behest of the prime minister.
He didn't?
No.
- Because you didn't?
- No.
- Sorry. I was checking. I was checking.
- What the fuck with you people?
I was so desperate, I offered
the motherfucking open-door fiasco.
- Good.
- They turned it down.
- Let me talk to Trowbridge.
- Kate?
No, I thought he liked me before,
now we're trading friendship bracelets
and braiding each other's hair.
- Even you can't fix this one.
- Let me try.
When is the magical thinking gonna stop?
You seem to think that being
Second Lady of the United States
and Ambassador to the Court of St. James
are two part-time jobs you can do
and still watch Wimbledon
at the end of the day.
The only way you can do both
of those jobs at the same time
is to do them both poorly.
- [tense music playing]
- [door closes]
- [Kate] Still nothing?
- [Neil] No.
- Did Hal call back?
- Uh, let me go check with Neil.
No, I already asked him.
- I thought he might have called you.
- Sorry. No.
- [sighs] If he calls
- Yeah.
And I know Neil knows,
but even if it's Nora,
if anyone from the VP's office calls,
I want him to put me through.
I'll make sure he does.
[sighs]
It's not like I don't wash it.
I do. And I comb it.
It's a style.
That style is
not looking like you spent hours.
Some people have
more important things to do.
It's not, "Couldn't get the top up
on the convertible."
[music swells]
[police sirens wail]
[music fades]
[indistinct chatter]
[Dennison] Will you excuse me
for one moment?
Ambassador.
Nice dress.
American designer. Nice digs.
British designer.
Repression meets inbred chic.
Sorry to crash. Trowbridge insisted.
Oh, I know. He's been talking about you.
- I'm so sorry.
- Not at all.
I understand you've been a help
with our drilling licenses.
I'm threatening to be helpful.
I doubt I'll pull it off.
Nicol said the vice president
has taken a personal interest.
- Jesus.
- No?
The VP doesn't know
anything about it yet.
Mrs. Vice President.
Couldn't miss you, could I?
In that dress, nobody could.
- Shall we?
- Oh!
- [Kate inhales]
- What have you been up to?
- Oh, little tanning, reading for pleasure.
- [laughs]
- Witty, witty, witty, witty, witty.
- [Kate inhales deeply]
I'm actually in a bit of a conundrum,
and I think you may be
the only man who can help.
Oh, I hope I can.
There's been a bit of a misunderstanding
around our chief of station.
A woman died in her custody.
- What have I failed to understand?
- You asked me to do something, not her.
- Please.
- And I didn't handle it properly.
I'm not gonna blame it
on the death of President Rayburn.
- Mrs. Wyler.
- My focus was split. The instructions I
You told her
the woman should hang herself.
- Of course I didn't.
- It's laudable.
Taking responsibility
for an incompetent underling.
I do it all the time. It's bunk.
Sir, this is a relationship that I value.
And I know you do too.
Steady.
I'm serious.
I am asking you to do this for me.
Done.
- Really?
- What did Hal say?
About?
The North Sea. Not to be confused
with the North Atlantic.
Which I'm told
is something else altogether.
Well, he agrees.
With whom?
- You.
- Excellent.
Nolan.
Sir. Um
The United States is reticent to have us
hand Russia our testicles on a tray.
Energy security is national security,
is everyone's security.
So tell the Danes
that neither I nor the White House
care to hear another word
about the plight of endangered coral.
- Prime Minister
- Oh.
Don't argue with me.
Take it up with the second lady.
[Kate chuckles softly]
[inhales]
[shocked spluttering]
[exasperated sigh]
[dial tone rings]
Hi. Who am I speaking to?
Hi, Priya. My name is Kate Wyler.
- [indistinct response]
- Yep. The very same.
Oh, that's very sweet.
Priya, can you do me a favor
and get my husband on the phone?
Mrs. Wyler, it's Nora.
[Kate] Hi. Do you have him?
Sad to say I don't.
Can I have him get back to you?
I called earlier today
and a very enthusiastic person
named Destiny
said Hal would get right back to me.
That was four hours ago.
I am so sorry. That is terrible.
- I'll talk to her.
- I don't think she's the problem.
- Can you pull him? This'll be two minutes.
- I really wish I could.
Nora. I'm not gonna do this very often.
And I guarantee it hurts me more
than the nation.
Ma'am, he and I are in a meeting.
I stepped out.
Wanted to make sure
you knew you're top of the call list.
But I am so sorry.
I have to go back in. Thank you.
[whispers] I swear to fucking god.
[call disconnects]
[takes deep breath]
Hi. [sighs]
Byron says you sometimes make phone calls
in the restroom.
- Does he?
- I couldn't help but overhear.
We're about to have a problem, you and I.
If you're speaking to the White House,
particularly to the vice president
- I wasn't, if you were paying attention.
- Allow us to furnish a hard line.
You can run one anywhere you like.
That's lovely. I am expecting a call
from the vice president.
I would like you
to furnish me with a hardline.
- We're here to work with you, ma'am
- You know what? Take the win.
This dialogue is of great comfort
to my government, and I hope to yours.
We wish to communicate optimism.
Our desire to make
our armed forces stronger
and more combat ready
indicates only a healthy wish
to defend our borders.
I'm so sorry, Minister. I have to ask you
to excuse me for a moment.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
- Where are you going?
- Gotta make a call.
- To?
- It's gonna be quick.
Sir, you can't walk out on the Chinese
because your wife called.
You see this word?
This means miscarriage,
car crash, act of God.
- I'm so sorry. I didn't realize
- Yeah, I got that.
[pensive music playing]
- Thank you.
- [Bonaventura] Anytime.
[phone rings]
- Hello?
- You okay?
[Kate] Fine. You?
- What happened?
- Nothing.
Listen,
you're backing a pretty muscular plan
for oil extraction in the North Sea.
- What?
- It turns out you're a drill guy.
That's gonna upset Denmark.
So we need to offer them something,
like maybe an upgrade to their early
warning system at their space base,
which is called Pituffik,
which in writing looks like
it's pronounced "pit fuck," but it's not.
- The Danes drill too.
- That's what Trowbridge said.
I had visions of your teeth knocked out
and a mouthful of blood.
- What?
- I thought something happened.
- Why?
- Arden!
- Mm. I I have my teeth.
- Jesus!
I have been trying to reach you.
- Yeah, I heard.
- Nora is walking a thin line today.
And Destiny's getting blamed,
which is bullshit.
- She's a gem.
- What?
Listen, you can walk back
your aggressive support
of fossil fuels next week.
Just get me past this cocktail party.
That's why I just walked out
on the Chinese foreign minister?
- Kate?
- Yeah.
[inhales angrily]
I had brief remarks this morning
at the Conference of Mayors.
"Hi."
"How are you doing?"
"God bless America."
Know how many drafts it went through?
This doesn't need drafts.
You just put me out ahead
of the White House
on resource extraction.
Now the president has
to either distance herself from me,
which she'll do by saying I'm a moron,
or sanction the rape and pillage
of maritime ecosystems in the North Sea.
Have everything you need?
I'm good. Thank you.
- Sorry.
- What's going on?
- Who was that?
- The foreign secretary.
Of Denmark?
No, I'm at Dennison's house,
which makes Downing Street look
like a real shithole.
- Cozy.
- It's a party to which I was not invited.
I'm sure he couldn't be happier
you showed up.
Let me explain why I'm here,
wearing a spectacularly
uncomfortable dress.
Trowbridge has glued himself to me
like some kind of parasitic barnacle
in the hopes of getting your attention.
You can't play the wife card every time
your host country needs a favor!
My host country doesn't need a favor.
Denmark needs a favor.
And this isn't the wife card.
This is the ambassador card.
Next time, I'll call the president.
She still takes my calls.
Perfect.
By the way,
if you're in with the Chinese, tell them
the Hong Kong Monetary Authority's
AI transaction monitoring
isn't a menace, it's puppet theater.
If they can keep it in their pants
for five straight minutes,
it'll collapse under its own weight.
He said to his people,
one very cold January,
"This year will be
harder than last year."
"But on the other hand,
it'll be easier than next year."
[phone vibrates]
- Kate?
- [Kate] Hi, I'm still in your office.
I need to get out of here
without crossing the PM's path.
I didn't want to leave
without saying goodbye, but I'm going to.
Good. Stay put for a moment.
I'll I'll come show you out.
- Sorry to pull you.
- Oh, no, it's fine. Um
There is an undersecretary
whose entire portfolio
is pulling me from events in my own home
before I say what I actually think.
Sorry about the gack.
- Not at all.
- Secure communication with you-know-whom.
Ah, yes. The distance must be difficult.
And not my business.
I am sorry. [chuckles awkwardly]
[sighs]
Are we friends?
I know, it's a weird question,
but I feel like we are.
And my life has turned totally upside
down in a way which should be liberating,
but is not.
And I can't tell anyone
in the whole world.
Well, then
Then you should tell me.
We're separated, Hal, and I.
- But
- Yeah.
I am, um,
Second Lady of the United States,
but we have an understanding.
It's very French.
Is it?
Who has understandings? Is that you guys?
I thought it was the French, but
Kate. [chuckles]
We're done.
I know I told you that before,
but now he agrees and I agree,
and everyone except the American people,
so I am going to show up for photo ops,
but, um it's over.
Don't tell anyone.
It's unlikely I will.
Yeah, it is, 'cause you're a good guy.
Hmm. [chuckles]
No, that sounded condescending,
and that's
[Kate laughs]
You are obvious I mean
[inhales deeply]
Fuck, okay, it's been a long decade.
[clears throat]
- Sorry, um, I'm not following.
- I think I'm propositioning you.
I think I'm trying to be sly about it
and pretend it's because I had a bad day,
which, in fairness, I did,
but I think I also want you to know
that my marriage is over,
officially.
And if that's
what you would consider
actionable intelligence
[awkward silence]
Okay. [chuckles] Shit.
I'm gonna get going.
I'm sorry, that was, uh
[Kate breathes heavily]
[Dennison] Hmm. [exhales]
I'm so sorry.
Can we make a rule that
you do not apologize during any of this?
- You were trying to leave.
- No.
I'm trying to get you
to take your shirt off.
- Uh, what is this? [chuckles]
- I know. It's medieval.
It's fucking impenetrable.
You know what? Skip it.
I barely have boobs.
Can we? Maybe with the jacket?
[exhales] Fuck, this is a lot of buttons.
- Kate.
- You're sorry?
I'm not. I've never been
less sorry about anything.
Here's the situation.
Professionally, this is a really
bad idea, but on a personal level,
I have been thinking about this
for a very long time.
Like, in detail.
- Unless you're trying to let me down easy
- I'm not.
If making out with me was better
in fantasy than reality
- Kate! I wanna lick you until you scream.
- that's cool.
I just think the timing is bad.
I don't think it is.
[phone rings]
Answer it.
- No.
- Is it the White House?
It's not Hal. Okay?
He's locked down with the Chinese.
Then it could be someone
from the White House
who's gone to the trouble
of calling you in my study.
I think it's prudent Fuck.
[ringing persists]
to take the call.
This is the ambassador.
They're going to be very unhappy.
We're gonna work it out. Are you familiar
with the Pituffik space station?
- I'm sorry, once more?
- Pituffik.
Chancellor asked the PM if he's prepared
to phase out non-dom status.
Please tell them your response.
Uh, Lewis, he was born
without the blessing of a cock.
He has a flap of epidermis,
but it has no discernible role.
I said, sit down, Lewis.
This is going to hurt,
but this whole operation
[pensive music playing]
I don't love being watched.
I think I'm safe here in the back seat.
Can you maybe look at the view
for a second?
[music fades]
[sighs]
[phone vibrates]
[dial tone rings]
[pensive orchestral music playing]
Hello?
- [music slows]
- [footsteps approaching]
[pensive music playing]
[music ends]