And Just Like That... (2021) s03e05 Episode Script

1
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CARRIE] The woman
threw open her windows
to let the city in.
She could hear the horses
coming and going
with their carriages,
each one bringing an
exciting possibility.
[DRIVER] Let me get that for you, sir.
- [CAR HORN HONKING]
- Have a nice day.
[CARRIE] The unexpected
cool breeze on this hot afternoon
reminded her that each day
need not be an echo of the one before.
There are endless
adventures to be taken,
if she simply dared
to decide to take them.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES]
Putting one foot in front of the other,
she stepped off the expected path
and vowed to go
wherever a day might take her.
[DRESS JINGLING]
["THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR
WALKING" BY THE SUPREMES PLAYING]
[HEAVY FOOTFALL]
You keep saying
you got somethin' for me ♪
Somethin' you call love,
but confess ♪
[HEAVY FOOTFALL CONTINUES]
You've been a-messin' ♪
Where you shouldn't
have been messin' ♪
And now, someone else
is getting all your best ♪
- [GROANING]
- These boots are made for walkin' ♪
And that's just what they'll do ♪
One of these days these
boots are gonna walk all over you ♪
[HEAVY FOOTFALL CONTINUES]
You ready, boots? Start walkin' ♪
[KNOCKING]
[KNOCKING LOUDER]
[MUSIC ENDS]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
You are always walking in heels!
Um, guilty.
Click, click, click,
click, click, click, click.
Click, click, click, click,
click, click, click.
Have you no rugs? My God!
Well, I just I haven't been
able to find the right ones yet.
- A work in progress.
- [SIGHS]
Hello. I'm Carrie. And you are?
- [SIGHS]
- Wow, just furious.
Duncan Reeves. I'm sorry for my tone.
It's just that your predecessor
never made any noise.
- She was bedridden.
- Yeah. It was lovely.
Perhaps, for you. Not for her.
No, what I meant was [SIGHS]
- She was quiet as a mouse.
- A bedridden mouse.
Am I, um, correct in assuming
that you're the new owner?
Yes, you are correct, I am.
I am. I moved in three months ago.
- Oh, my God.
- But, um, in my defense,
you know, I'm I'm really
I'm just walking up here,
you know, no no, uh no parties,
no rollerblading, no bowling.
Are you trying to be amusing?
I'm not trying to be amusing.
I think I am amusing.
Oh, I see.
Well, this is a very
inauspicious beginning.
- Would you like to come in?
- No, I would not.
- Oh.
- [SIGHS]
Look, understand, I'm not at my best.
- One can only hope.
- It's been days,
and I'm desperately
sleep-deprived from the
- "Me" of it all?
- [GROANS] I work all night long,
so I must [SIGHS]
sleep during the day.
It's crucial to my success.
Could you, at least,
remove your high heels?
[CHUCKLING] Okay.
Now, you've gone too far.
- [MIRANDA] I'll have the grain bowl, thanks.
- [SERVER] Right.
- [SEEMA] The burrata.
- [SERVER] Yes.
- Thank you.
- I'll have the goat cheese salad.
[MIRANDA] Ugh, should've got that.
My downstairs neighbor hates me.
My Airbnb neighbor
blasts heavy metal all the time.
What does that have to do with me?
It's hardly like
I'm headbanging up there.
No, I'm just agreeing.
Neighbors are the worst.
- Continue.
- Where did this guy even come from?
London. I told you
about him during the sale.
He comes to New York
six months out of the year.
Seema, I can't live with an insane man
under me for s half a year?
Insane? Insane how?
He asked me to take off my heels.
[TRAY CLANGING LOUDLY]
[PATRONS GASPING]
- Yeah, he gets it.
- [LAUGHTER]
- To play devil's advocate
- Mm-hmm?
taking your shoes off
at home is more sanitary.
To play Devil Wears Prada
advocate, I have rights.
A woman's right to shoes.
Well, clearly,
you can't live like that.
- [CARRIE CHUCKLE SCOFFS]
- But getting someone
evicted in New York takes years.
- [CARRIE GROANS]
- We might just have to kill him.
- [MOUTH FULL] Okay.
- [MIRANDA LAUGHING]
And to be clear,
this is not me, this is him.
I have never ever had a problem
with a neighbor. Never.
Not till this Duncan Reeves fella.
Duncan Reeves, Duncan Reeves?
He writes those massive biographies.
Harry has been reading his Henry VIII
for five years.
Read it in a weekend. Loved it.
[CARRIE] Oh, my God, I didn't
even make the connection till now.
I was too distracted
by the angry spit bubbles
in the corner of his mouth.
[SEEMA] Okay, so you're both writers.
Now, you have common ground.
Crime scene averted.
Good, because I don't know
how to compost a body.
Well, I don't know
if we have "common ground."
He said he needs absolute quiet
- to write, and I
- Carrie!
I've been waiting years
for Duncan Reeves' next book.
According to Goodreads,
he has writer's block.
Take your damn shoes off.
Miranda, I don't care if
William Shakespeare himself
is renting under me.
[CHUCKLING] The heels do not come off.
Should I buy my cranky
downstairs neighbor
- a welcome gift?
- [CHUCKLING] Yes.
- I think you should.
- Aw. I'm not surprised
- you said that.
- [LAUGHING]
So, how are you feeling about
where you and Aidan are now?
Um to be honest, it's
- it's kind of a relief
- Mm.
to not be thinking about
what I should be doing
every day about it.
- It's out of my hands.
- Wow.
That is so far past any
ability that I would ever have.
[CHUCKLES] I'm just
being more realistic
- Mm.
- less romantic.
But the romance is still there?
Sure. Oh yeah.
It's just, uh,
living under the reality.
- Mm.
- We love each other very much,
but he can't be my
everyday fella right now,
so I just have to give up
the expectation
of a big, romantic,
music-swell resolution.
- Hmm.
- [CARRIE CHUCKLES]
It's so hard.
I don't know what I would do
without Harry every day.
Waking up with him,
going to bed with him
Well, happily, you don't have to.
[LOUD, MUFFLED
HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Motherfucker.
[SIGHS]
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Thank you.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[CHARLOTTE] Oh, I'm loving
our little after-dinner walk.
We should do this more often.
Actually, there's kind of a reason
I wanted to come on this walk with you.
To get away from the kids? Me, too.
Well, it's not really about the kids.
I-I I need to talk to you
about something.
- Um
- Oh.
Do you remember
when I wet myself at the club?
Mm-hmm.
And then, ya know, there
was the trouble in the bedroom.
- Yeah?
- Well, you know,
I decided to check it out,
you know, just in case.
And, what do ya know,
I got prostate cancer.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
- Keep it together, keep it together.
Keep it together, honey.
Everything is gonna be fine.
We caught it early.
Oh. Oh, Harry
Hey, hey, hey, listen.
Prostate cancer
has a 98% survival rate.
Okay? Lots of men get it.
Robert De Niro, uh, Warren Buffett,
Nelson Mandela.
- But he died!
- At 95!
Listen to me, I promise you,
I am not gonna die
for a very long time, okay?
Okay?
You say "okay."
[SOFTLY] Okay.
I just want you to do me one favor.
Anything, baby.
Don't tell anyone.
Not the kids. Not our friends.
I don't wanna be the cancer guy.
I'm I'm gonna quit my job
so that I can take care of you.
No, no, not okay. Not gonna happen.
'Cause then I'll be back to 100%
and you'll be 100% out of a job.
So, no. Okay?
Say "okay."
[SOFTLY] Okay.
So, I
I I guess we should cancel
the the camping for this weekend?
No way.
I've been looking forward to it.
No, it's gonna be glamping as usual.
We are okay.
[HARRY SIGHS]
[CHARLOTTE SIGHS]
My flight from Atlanta doesn't land
till 4:00 on Friday
so you'll have to get the kids
to Governors Island
- and I'll meet you there.
- Hold up, hold up.
Meet who, where, what governor?
Governors Island. We're going glamping
with the Goldenblatts this weekend.
Since when? You never told me that.
Yes, I did.
I don't have to sleep
on the ground, do I?
No, Henry, it's glamping.
There'll be big fluffy beds.
I-I'd like to think that I would
remember a word like "glamping."
- Honey, you never told me that.
- I told you.
- But did you?
- Mommy told me.
As soon as she gets back
from shooting her documentary,
we're gonna make s'mores!
Oh, wait, Lis, I I'm supposed to do
some "regular guy around town"
press pics
for my campaign this weekend.
Me eating a hot dog,
me on the subway
You, glamping. Hot dogs and subway
- will be there on Monday.
- [PHONE CHIMING]
- Okay, so my car is out front.
- [HERBERT SIGHING]
No need to pack,
the kids' stuff is ready to go.
And, just checking, you did
hear me say, "No need to pack"?
Yeah, yeah, I heard all of that.
What I didn't hear was "glamping."
I told you.
But did you?
- [PLAYFUL JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]
- [KISS SMACKING]
[HERBERT CHUCKLES]
- Mama loves you!
- Love you!
- Love you, Mom.
- Love you back. Be good!
You just quit your job, Miss Patel?
My company was sold out from under me,
after 20 years of building it.
How on Earth did that happen?
Well, honestly, Linda,
I'm still reeling.
I trusted my business partner,
and he sold his shares
to a bigger company
and thought he could just trade me
like some sports player, or a wife.
So, I decided
to go out on my own, invest in myself.
- Admirable.
- And I'm a good investment.
I was that company, I did all the work,
and the man with slightly more power
- got all the credit.
- [SCOFFS]
You feel me, Linda?
I will have to run this
by my supervisor.
He's gone for the day. If you feel me.
Oh. I feel you.
So, Linda, I found a chic,
surprisingly affordable
office in Tribeca,
and I just need a small
business loan to secure the space.
It's going to be a tough sell
with no guaranteed income, though.
You also have a lot of overhead.
Expensive clothes, dinners
I mean, do you really need a driver?
I do. My job is all about appearances.
When a prospective client
sees me get out of my Mercedes
and walk into a building,
it says, "baller."
It says, "She knows."
So, woman to woman, Linda
I hope you can help.
As I said, I'll run it
by my supervisor.
[QUIETLY] He's just awful.
Aren't they all?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCKING]
[SOFTLY] Hi.
- Welcome Wagon!
- I beg your pardon?
Oh, that's, um, something
that we say here in America
when someone, uh,
joins the neighborhood.
So, welcome.
This is for you.
That's, uh, totally, uh, unnecessary.
- [TEA KETTLE WHISTLING]
- But, um, I I must get the kettle.
Um, come in.
[CARRIE] Oh, you did say,
"Come in," yes?
I don't want to be accused
of breaking and entering
and walking in heels.
Right. Can I make you a tea?
Thank you, no.
I I won't um, I won't stay.
I will point out there's a lovely tin
- of Earl Grey tea in the basket.
- Huh.
It's from Tea Time, around the corner.
In fact, all of the items
in the basket are, um
sourced locally from the area.
I did all your exploring for you.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
But I don't explore.
I come here just to write.
What, you're a writer? [CHUCKLES]
Wow, that's so funny.
I'm I'm a writer.
I'm sure we write, you know,
write very differently.
I'm one of those writers
who sleeps at night
and walks in her apartment.
Wow, nothing? Not even a smile?
I didn't come here to smile, either.
I sense a little smile under there.
Then you must write fiction.
- [BLOWING]
- Ooh.
Ah! Actually, I have something for you.
Look, um, I was aware
how I must have come across to you.
- Unrealistic, rabid
- Hmm.
uh, even a touch mad.
Aw, your words, not mine.
[CHUCKLES] Well.
- I can't im-imagine what
- I feel certain
that these will help our situation.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
[PLASTIC CRINKLING]
Well. I
I appreciate the thought.
But I'm I'm allergic.
Allergic to what?
To whatever this is.
And to be perfectly honest,
I'm not even sure
I can walk without heels.
But, I promise,
I will soon have a thick rug,
and I will do my best
not to disturb you.
[PLUCKY MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, and, um,
what of the archaeological dig
that appears to be happening
outside in the garden
starting at 7 a.m. every morning?
I'm replanting the garden.
And when it's done, I hope
it's a space we can both enjoy.
- I enjoyed the old one.
- It was a rat superhighway.
But, please, enjoy the welcome basket
and your no smiles.
I was just attempting to make
this awkward situation better.
This is New York City. There's noise.
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
[PLUCKY MUSIC CONTINUES]
[DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY]
[FOOD PROCESSOR WHIRRING]
Char, are you okay?
[MOUTH FULL] You seem very distracted.
Oh, no. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Don't worry about me.
- [RICHARD BURTON BARKING]
[LILY] Mom?
So, we've been thinking
Rock, do you wanna take the lead?
Yes. We are a unified front.
- We don't want to go glamping.
- You're going glamping.
- Okay, I'm out.
- Uh [SIGHS]
I thought you were vegan now.
- [RICHARD BURTON WHINING]
- Ah, shit.
I keep on forgetting.
Well, I can't go.
I have plans with Diego.
You have plans
with your father this weekend,
and he is really looking forward to it.
Daddy will be fine.
You don't know that Daddy will be fine.
It's just stupid glamping.
I'll ask him.
You will not ask him!
You will not put anything negative
on this fun, fun thing
that he wants to do.
This is a positive, positive event.
- You don't understand.
- Mm! She's still going for it.
I split Diego's weekends
with his boyfriend.
- And if I'm not there, Eric gets both nights.
- Eric.
And that puts me at a disadvantage.
Lily, you are spending the weekend
with your family. End of story.
I am sure that you can
make up this time
with your polyamorous,
polysexual boyfriend
some other weekend.
[LILY GROANING]
Can you believe this is parenting now?
No, Char, I cannot.
I miss cheese. So much.
- Then, eat some!
- [ROCK SIGHS]
So, he hands me this sad,
thin little package,
and I open it, and inside,
full-on pink nursing home slippers.
- [HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- What? No fucking way!
I know. I mean, come on,
do I really look
No, not you.
The owner of my Airbnb just texted
that there's nothing
he can do about the music
because he isn't even
supposed to be Airbnb-ing!
What the fuck?!
Are you always reading texts
when we're talking?
Just when we're on the phone.
Okay, just come stay with me
till you find a place.
I [SCOFFS] I should have
offered earlier,
but, honestly, I forget
about the extra rooms.
I I still identify
as a studio apartment owner.
Thanks, but you like your space,
even if you do have too much of it.
I insist.
Okay, then what I should have said
is I like my space.
My realtor is so lame.
Hey, do you think you could ask Seema
if she could help me
find a place super quick?
Oh. Oh, I don't know.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] I don't know.
You know, she deals with all
these really big properties
with these huge commissions,
and, you know, you're looking
for a two-bedroom.
She's unemployed.
Okay, then what I should have said
is I don't wanna mix
friends and business.
It's too risky.
Got it.
I have to deal with this.
Bye.
[SCOFFS]
[LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC INCREASING]
Hey! If you slide
another note under my door,
I will fucking cut you to pieces.
[SCREAMING AND PANTING]
I really appreciate this.
Of course. Come in!
I mean, it's New York. I've seen naked.
- But naked with a meat cleaver?
- Mm, that's fresh.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
It's gonna be fun.
It's gonna be like, um,
like when we shared that place
in the '90s on Bank Street.
- Oh, yeah!
- [GASPS] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[WHISPERING] Maybe don't roll
the suitcases so hard.
- Oh, sorry.
- No, it's okay. It's okay.
Any better on the home front?
Uh, well, no shots fired,
but the war is far from over.
Oh!
You finally got some couches!
Oh! Could you take your shoes off?
Seriously? You're still wearing yours.
Yeah, but I know how to walk in them.
- It's just a fact.
- [KNOCKING]
Oh, damn, he heard you.
- Shots fired!
- [DOORBELL RINGING]
Sorry.
You notice how you can barely hear me?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
- Hello.
- Delivery from 1stDibs.
Oh! Um, wow,
I'm not expecting anything.
Uh, Eight Gramercy Park West.
Yeah, from an Aidan Shaw.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [CARRIE] Oh, my God.
- [DOOR OPENS]
Oh, my God!
- [SIGHS]
- It isn't Duncan Reeves?
[CARRIE] Miranda, look!
It's the table someone bought
before I could.
Oh, my God, that someone was Aidan!
He must have he must have bought it
after I told him how much I loved it.
- [MIRANDA] Aw.
- That's very romantic.
- [MIRANDA CHUCKLES]
- Wow, it is! It really is.
And I've seen a lot of romantic shit.
Oh! There he is.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Hi! [SIGHS]
Hi. They're gonna be very quiet.
[MIRANDA] Hi. Big fan.
- Oh. Just here?
- Could I get you to sign Winston Churchill?
What? Hey, where did
that book come from?
[MIRANDA] Do you mind, Mr. Reeves?
- [CHUCKLES] Not at all.
- [MIRANDA] Oh!
I'm Miranda.
Guys, don't forget the booties.
Oh, no, no, the booties,
um, won't be necessary.
She has no rugs.
- [MIRANDA] Thank you so much.
- [DUNCAN] Pleasure.
[MARION] So, what
do you think if I cut in
the Atlanta neighborhood
footage in right here
after the mother's letter?
[LISA] God, I'm gonna be late.
What is the hold-up?
Why can't they just open the damn door?
Well, at least the door
stayed on the whole flight.
- That's a win these days.
- Yeah, I'll laugh at that on Monday.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [PLANE DINGS]
- [LISA] Oh, thank God.
- [MARION] Yeah, no worries.
Okay, no, yeah, I'm gonna
okay, you go ahead.
No, no. Yeah, thank you.
You first. [GRUNTING]
You're yeah, you're in a rush.
- Okay. Okay, sorry.
- Okay, yup. Alright.
- A lotta leg there.
- Yep, okay.
Sorry, it's just that my bag
is back there, and, um
no, 'cause someone
used the space above my seat.
- Thank you.
- Okay, people, let her through!
- Family emergency here, come on.
- Thank you.
- She has to go glamping!
- Not helping!
I know it doesn't seem urgent,
but it is.
She's a wife, mother of three,
she's doing it all!
- [CHUCKLING] You're crazy.
- I am.
- I'll see you on Monday, Marion.
- Okay.
[LISA] Oh. Sorry. Excuse sorry! Oh!
It's a man's name, too.
- Alright?
- [PASSENGERS CHATTERING]
It's a man's name too, Chalamet.
- [SHIP HORN BLOWING]
- [BIRDS CALLING]
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]
[HENRY] "The native Lenape tribe
"referred to Governors Island
as Nut Island
"because of its rich collection
- of chestnut, hickory, and oak trees."
- [HARRY] Hmm.
- [CHARLOTTE] Wow!
- [GABBY] Stop quoting Wikipedia, Henry.
Mommy says it's not a primary source.
There's a spa here somewhere,
and you can rent go-karts.
That is just so native Lenape.
I'm here!
- [GASPS] Yeah!
- Hey!
[OVERLAPPING GREETINGS]
This place is amazing!
Who's ready for glamping?!
[GROUP CHEERING]
- Hi!
- Well, it's about time.
You were supposed to be here
an hour ago.
Well, four hours ago, I was in Atlanta,
so it's kind of a modern miracle
that I even made it.
- Give it up for Mom!
- [CHARLOTTE] Yay, Mom!
[GROUP CHEERING]
So, how are the Goldenblatts
enjoying our weekend getaway?
It's more of a hostage situation.
- Lily, stop. Right now.
- [INSECT BUZZING]
Ah! [HISSING]
Got it.
Jesus, will you look
at the size of that thing?
It's like a new breed of mosquito.
- Yeah.
- Is anyone else getting bit?
- [GABBY] Nope, I'm not!
- No.
- Not me.
- [HARRY] What?
- It's like my third one!
- [CHARLOTTE CHUCKLES]
Did someone give
the bastards my blood type
- and a map to my head?
- Aw.
Well, now that Mommy's here,
who wants s'mores?
- [OVERLAPPING AGREEMENT]
- Not this mosquito, he is full.
S'mores, s'mores, s'mores!
- [HARRY] Yuck!
- Baby, are you okay?
[MUTTERING]
It's like they're coming for me.
Aw.
Alright, we've got marshmallows.
We've got graham crackers.
Uh, let's get the fire going.
And, uh, Mom will get
the chocolate for the s'mores.
Yep. Okay, where's the chocolate?
What do you mean,
"Where's the chocolate?"
- You're supposed to bring it.
- What are you talking about?
No, I told you, I forgot to
bring chocolate for the s'mores.
You never told me
to bring the chocolate.
Okay, Lisa, when we were on the phone,
before you got on the plane,
I told you.
- But did you, though?
- Lisa, I told you.
Honey, I've just been roaming
around Atlanta airport for hours
with hundreds of places
to buy chocolate,
- if you had just told me.
- I
Okay, what is the big deal?
There's chocolate
in the gift shop! Okay?
It is chocolate, not cancer!
[SHIP HORN BLOWING]
I'm sorry.
[MOSQUITO BUZZING]
[GROANING]
[VIBRANT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHOE MEWS]
Hey. [WHISTLING]
[TEXT WHOOSHES]
[SOFTLY] Really?
[KEYPAD CLACKING]
[CHUCKLES] Hey!
Samantha says that Duncan
Reeves is known to be fun.
Well, he's, like, 6'5",
so that's her kind of fun.
- Do you have a minute?
- Sure.
- [GASPS] You look nice.
- Thanks!
So, it's my first sleepover at Joy's,
and I'm wearing this jumpsuit
so I won't be walk-of-shaming it
tomorrow morning in sexy clothes.
But is this outfit too "I don't care"?
No, no.
- No?
- Hmm.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
- Um
- [DRAWERS SLIDING]
No, no, no, no.
[GASPS] Yep, here it is.
[GASPS] Oh, my God, so pretty!
But I don't wanna take
anything designer-y.
- What?
- Remember when I lost your
Oh, my Sonia Rykiel Domino bag?
Yeah. No, I I forgot all about that.
Now, here, take it, take it, really.
I got I got it at a tag sale
- on the street, it's nothing.
- Are you sure?
Yes! [GASPS]
Oh.
[CARRIE] It's perfect.
I saw the sign or an omen
on the branches ♪
[SIGHS] Don't let me forget this.
Long story.
Oh, I look forward
to hearing the scarf saga.
[LAUGHING]
- [KISSING CONTINUES]
- [DOGS WHINING]
[DOGS WHIMPERING]
Oh, hold on, let me remove the voyeurs
- from the picture.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Come on, Sappho.
- Oh.
- Come on, Socrates.
- Should I help?
No, it's better not to touch them.
Italian Greyhounds
are notoriously litigious.
- [LAUGHING] Oh, really?
- [JOY CHUCKLES]
[DOOR CLOSES]
You look very right in here.
Do I?
["CARDINAL"
BY KACEY MUSGRAVES PLAYING]
[DOGS WHIMPERING]
[JOY SIGHS]
Excuse me.
[WHIMPERING CONTINUES]
No. Unacceptable!
[SIGHS] I'm so sorry.
They're not usually this fussy.
It's just, I I rarely invite
people to sleep over.
Oh. You don't?
No, and you can take that
as the compliment
I intended it to be.
[DOGS WHINING]
[SCOFFS] Why didn't I get cats?
[WHINING CONTINUES]
[CARRIE GROANS LIGHTLY]
- [SHOE PURRING]
- [CARRIE SIGHS]
[PLUCKY MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHOE MEWS]
[SIGHS] Shoe, please.
I'm trying to sleep.
[SHOE MEOWS]
[CARRIE SIGHS]
Come here.
Now, we've talked about this, right?
Goodnight.
- [FLOOR CREAKING]
- Miranda?
[GASPS] Oh, Jesus!
Gosh, I thought I thought
you were at at Joy's!
Her dogs wouldn't stop whining, so
[CARRIE] Okay. Goodnight.
[THUDS] Oh!
- You okay?
- Oh yeah.
- [MIRANDA] Good night!
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CARRIE] Oh!
You're wearing clothes.
What was that?
You've seen me naked before.
No, I know. It was just so unexpected.
The only thing missing
was a meat cleaver.
[LAUGHING]
Um
is that my last yogurt?
Um, you don't eat yogurt.
- Yes, I do.
- Since when?
Mm, since I'm 50.
Who [SCOFFS] whose yogurt
did you think it was?
I I don't know,
like, a house yogurt?
[SCOFFS] A house yogurt?
Okay, come on. I just woke up.
I'll I'll get you more.
It's just a yogurt.
And the last banana?
You eat bananas now, too?
All you used to have
for breakfast was a cigarette.
- Oh, man. That sounds so good.
- [MIRANDA CHUCKLES]
[JAMIE] Why are we stopping?
[ADAM] Ah, he didn't mean anything.
[JAMIE] Why is he so mad?
[ADAM] He's just a neighbor. Come on.
Hey, why is Adam just sitting there?
Oh. Duncan yelled at him.
I watched from the window.
While opening the last yogurt?
Yeah, it was a whole thing.
Oh, dammit.
I put down all these
ugly runners for him.
And it was a it was a rush charge.
- Mm.
- Isn't that enough?
[CARRIE SIGHS]
Good morning, fellas.
Please resume working.
- Go get back to work.
- [JAMIE] What's his problem?
You want the rest of the banana?
Mm, sadly, I do. Thank you.
- [BRIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [PEOPLE CHATTERING]
[TENT UNZIPPING]
- Hello!
- Zip up the tent behind you!
[SPORTS COMMENTATORS SPEAKING ON PHONE]
All the way, all the way!
- Thank you.
- [CHARLOTTE SIGHS]
Okay, the three of you have been
inside here all day long.
Let's all go for a walk along the pier.
I'm not going out there.
They're just gonna come for me again.
- Shh. Shh.
- [INSECT BUZZING FAINTLY]
Ugh, dammit.
I think one might have gotten inside.
[SCOFFS]
Hey, Dad looks like Kenny
from South Park.
"Oh, my God! They killed Daddy!"
- Hey! That is enough of that.
- [CHUCKLES]
Everybody, put your phones down!
This is supposed to be
quality family time.
It is too valuable for everyone
to be on devices.
Babe? Mets are up by two.
If Dad doesn't even wanna glamp,
why do I have to be here?
You know what, Lily?
You don't. So, why don't you just go?
You can be with your boyfriend
and his boyfriend.
But don't come crying to me
when you can't get this Saturday back!
- Oh, okay, I won't.
- [GAME CONTINUES PLAYING]
Mom, why are you being so dramatic?
Babe, chill.
Everything is okay.
But everything's not okay!
[COMMENTATOR] [ON PHONE]
The pitch is rounding to Layton.
I'm just gonna go get some air,
take a walk, by myself.
Okay, just zip up the tent behind you!
Yes, honey.
- [HARRY] Love ya!
- Uh-huh.
- This croque monsieur is divine.
- Okay?
Better than the one
I had at The Pierre.
Oh, gosh, you look so cute!
Let me take a picture.
Get over there with them.
Lis, this is not regular guy stuff.
Well, this isn't for
the citizens of New York.
It's for us.
Squeeze in!
[HERBERT CHUCKLES]
Everyone say "Croque monsieur!"
- [ALL] Croque monsieur!
- [CAMERA CLICKING]
[GABBY] Let me see. Let me see.
[SHIP HORN BLOWING]
- [HENRY] It's not as good. Wait. Oh.
- [GABBY CHUCKLING]
[HERBERT] Let me see that, baby.
Who's this guy?
That's my editor. That's Marion.
This is your editor?
[CHUCKLING] Yes.
Okay.
You said you were gonna
hire a guy for the job,
but you didn't tell me
he looked like that.
[CHUCKLES] Looked like what?
Like Michael B. Handsome.
Talk about gettin'
your chocolate in Atlanta.
Don't be ridiculous.
You know, he's a brilliant editor.
Is he brilliantly married?
I don't know anything
about his personal life.
It's work. Give me my phone.
You got it.
[SIGHS]
About that selfie?
Is that the kind of work thing
that typically happens between
brilliant editors and directors?
I took it to send to my second editor.
Oh, so there's a second editor?
Yes.
- So, it's a threesome?
- Who's having a threesome?
No one. Daddy's being silly.
Daddy's being very silly.
No, Mommy's being silly.
Mommy's being silly out of town.
No, Mommy's not being silly.
Mommy is going for a walk.
[LISA SCOFFS]
- [BICYCLE BELL RINGING]
- Oh my God, I can see the Statue of Liberty!
- [TOURIST 2] Wow!
- [LISA] Charlotte?
There you are.
- Hey.
- What are you doing out here?
Oh, I just needed some time away.
I needed some time away, too.
[LISA CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
But I think we can do a lot
better than just standing here.
- I mean [CHUCKLES]
- [GASPS]
- Oh!
- Doesn't this place have a spa?
A woman will be sympathetic
to another woman's
financial situation, right?
I mean, even if she works at a bank.
I wouldn't count on that.
A woman once turned me down
for an apartment loan
because I didn't have any assets.
Well, she can kiss my assets. Oh!
[SING-SONG] Stay on the runner ♪
- Oh.
- [MIRANDA] [GASPS] Hi!
- Hi!
- I got Mexican.
Oh, that's so nice, but we
already actually, we just ate.
Um, Seema came back
to see my new table.
- Oh, shit!
- [CARRIE CHUCKLES]
Let me clean all this up.
Linda said she'd have word
about the loan for me today.
It's 4:15, why has she not
contacted me?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're off the runner.
I need a free-range place
to pace and smoke. I'll be out back.
Okay, but just smoke and pace quietly.
I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gonna
- show it off.
- No.
- The kitchen table is so small.
- Yeah.
- I hope this is okay.
- Oh, no.
- It's fine. Yeah, it's fine.
- Okay.
We'll just, you know Oh! Oh shit!
- Oh, oh, oh, uh
- Shit, shit, shit, shit.
- Paper towels.
- Lift your no, no, no, lift your computer.
- Oh, right!
- Lift the computer, the computer.
- Ugh! Crap!
- Here.
Oh, no! That's my research!
- Oh, oh, oh! Shit!
- No!
Um, here. Um, we can use this.
Oh, no, no, no, that's my scarf!
What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- You said it was nothing.
Nothing I have is nothing!
Uh, I I was trying
to stop the dripping.
It's what is
Was this my last Mexican coke?
Well, I was having Mexican, so
[BOTTLE THUDS]
Smoking's bad for you.
Oh, I know.
I'm just under a lot of pressure
right at this moment.
Still not good. Not good ever.
Okay, Jamie. Plant, please, buddy.
[JAMIE SCOFFS]
My nephew has a lot of opinions
and not shy about sharing.
Well, he's right.
And I'm right. We're both right.
Can I have a drag?
Oh! I thought you were
all green and organic.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, but I'm
not I'm not a freak about it.
Quick, before he looks up.
I'm under a lot of pressure, too.
- Oh.
- I'll have you know. Yeah.
There's a guy in the
apartment below here.
Mm-hmm. He keeps coming to the window,
making mean faces at me.
What are you nervous about?
- Is that any of your business?
- Not at all.
[CHUCKLING] That's why I'm curious.
I'm waiting to hear about a bank loan
and I'm about to jump out of my skin.
Have you ever tried yoga?
You're asking a South Asian
woman if she's ever tried yoga?
Well, I don't like to profile, so
And I am seeing this woman
who teaches Vinyasa.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
- It might it might help.
What? [LAUGHING]
I, um I can probably get you
a discount, too.
And what about me screams "discount"?
[CHUCKLES] Nothin'. N-Nothin' at all.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
[DUNCAN] Really?
[GROANING]
[BOTH SNICKERING]
[WATER DRIPPING]
[MIRANDA] Well
I think we're probably
thinking the same thing.
Well, I don't know
what you're thinking,
but I'm thinking
you should stay forever.
- I'm thinking that, too!
- [GASPS] Jinx!
- You owe me a Mexican Coke.
- [CLICKING TONGUE]
Obviously, it is no longer
Bank Street in the '90s.
Yeah, because we're 90.
But you cannot go back into some
- [DOOR OPENS]
- freaky Airbnb situation again.
What choice do I have?
Seema, Miranda needs help
finding an apartment.
Well, Miranda, if you don't mind
working virtually, I'm your gal.
Because I just found out
I did not get that bank loan
- for an office.
- No!
So much for women helping women.
Well, I'm a woman
who needs a woman's help.
Seema, help me find a place? Soon?
- Aw.
- Carrie likes her space.
No, stay.
- [SEEMA CHUCKLES]
- I insist.
[MIRANDA AND SEEMA CHUCKLE]
[SPA GUEST] We're running low on ice!
[LISA] I really needed this.
[SIGHS] I've just been wearing
my shoulders as earrings.
- [LISA CHUCKLES]
- [CHARLOTTE] Aw.
That overnighter to Atlanta was a lot.
Can I tell you something?
Sure. What is it?
I have a, uh, work crush
- on my editor.
- Ah.
[CHUCKLING] It's okay
to have a work crush, right?
Yes! I mean, it's just a crush, right?
It's not the end of the world. [SIGHS]
Is everything okay?
- You seem a little distant.
- Yeah.
I I just have a lot on my mind.
You wanna talk about it?
Okay.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, my gosh, this garden
is gonna be really amazing.
Did you see the work I did?
Jamie, I think you do all the work.
He just stands there looking pretty.
- Nah.
- No, no, it's true.
I'm very pretty.
[FIRE ALARM BEEPING LOUDLY]
[CARRIE] Oh, my God,
there's so much smoke.
Hello? Oh, my God.
[FIRE ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING]
- Oh! Oh, shit!
- [CARRIE] Oh, my God, get the
Get the pot off the stove!
- What?
- Get the pot off the stove!
- Yes, yes, yes, doing it, doing it.
- Oh shit!
- Ah, ah, ah!
- Oh, shit! Shit!
[DUNCAN] I don't know
how that happened!
Um uh
[ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING]
Wow, you're noisy.
Aren't you glad I'm wearing heels?
[LAUGHING]
Well, there goes my dinner.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
So, uh, word on the street in London
is that you're a lot of fun.
When's that gonna start?
Fun in London.
- All work here.
- Mm.
That's the sole reason for New York.
I know no one, really,
and I do nothing.
In fact, this is a rare meal out.
I routinely just make a stew, I dig in,
and I write the bloody book
for six months until I'm done.
Wow, it's it's writing,
not time in a gulag.
Huh. Says you.
I've been particularly
out of sorts this trip, though,
all thanks to a certain woman.
I'm flattered, but we've just met.
Margaret Thatcher.
- [CHUCKLING] Oh!
- Yeah. She's my subject.
It's the first time
I've ever attempted a woman
- and I'm nervous, I suppose.
- Hmm.
Will people accept a woman from me?
What is it that you write?
You said you were a writer, yes?
Yes. I, uh
Usually, I write memoirs, essays.
But, actually, um, like you,
I'm trying something new.
Fiction.
My first novel.
- Oh.
- Mm.
On top of that,
it's not set in present day.
So, I'm nervous as well.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Wow, I've never said that aloud before.
Oh, dear God, that house is just
gonna be vibrating with anxiety.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
["KISS THE SKY" BY SHAWN LEE'S
PING PONG ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
sync & corrections awaqeded
And when we go, we won't go slow ♪
We'll put up such a fight ♪
When they fade into
the dust and into ash ♪
But all the children know for sure ♪
This pain will surely pass ♪
Strong and wise and you are loved ♪
And when the tide, it comes ♪
You will float above, love ♪
And you will be one day
exactly what you are ♪
Just keep your head held high ♪
Kiss your fist and touch the sky ♪
Too late to keep
the world from dying ♪
It's not too late
to spread the love you have ♪
One day when we
are ready for crying ♪
One day, I know that
we'll be there, little girl ♪
Buh, buh, buh, buh-buh ♪
Buh, buh ♪