Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e05 Episode Script
Monkey a Go-Go
1
Are we there yet?
Patience, Jade.
We will not know
where there is
until uncle's
locator spell
leads us to
the animal we seek.
The tiger who
has inherited
the talisman power
of yin and Yang.
Well, make it hurry,
'cause it reeks
something fierce in here.
Are you sure
the spell is
accurate, uncle?
Nevada is not
exactly known
as tiger country.
Never mock the sock.
It's our only chance
of finding the tiger
before the forces
of darkness do.
Well, bet ya
daolon wong doesn't have to
spend all day cooped up
in a smelly car.
(Chants)
Pee-yew!
Are we there yet?
So, big d,
- we really appreciate
you turning us
into superpowered
dark chi dudes
and all,
but we gotta
talk image.
I'm not digging the
whole orange vibe,
and these
outfits kinda
scream boy band.
Nah, we look like kiss.
We look like
circus freaks.
Hey! Can you not all see
that I am trying
to concentrate?
I must find the tiger
and acquire its power
before that
accursed old man
and his family intrude.
What?
Aah! Daolon wong!
Aah!
(Gurgles) Ow!
(Gurgles) Ow!
(Chants)
(Chants)
Whoa!
Get out there
and stop them!
But--
now!
Jackie, look out!
Aah!
All: Aah!
Dudes, we have powers.
Oh, yeah.
Sweet!
(All laugh)
Do you think
they are
All right? Ow!
Of course they
are all right!
They are magic!
Now drive! Quickly!
(Growls)
Uncle: Stop the car!
The tiger we seek
is here!
Jackie:
In las Vegas?
I think the world famous
Sasha makes the cut.
But uncle, even if
it is the right tiger,
what am I
supposed to say?
"Hello, my
name is Jackie.
Can I borrow your
star attraction?"
Ow!
You figure it out!
Uncle must do research.
When daolon wong arrives,
we will need powerful
spells to combat him.
Shoo! Shoo!
Come on, Jackie.
We'll take care
of the tiger,
and then
take in Vegas.
Some shows,
some all-you-can-eat
buffets
Jade, what part of
daolon wong did you
not understand?
Oh!
Sasha has
the heart of
a savage predator,
but we have tamed
her wild nature
with years
of training.
Right, ulf?
Ya, Helmut!
Now Sasha is our Princess!
Room service?
Yes, please send up
one vial of eel saliva,
3 jars of
powdered duck feet,
and a pair of
moose antlers.
What?
What kind of hotel
does not have eel saliva?
Hey, uncle,
I know you're busy,
so if you want me
to go help Jackie,
just signal by
yelling into the phone.
I do not want
chicken fingers!
I require duck feet!
You got it!
So, you want
to borrow
our Sasha?
Uh, yes.
Um, I'll pay you?
(Both laugh)
Ulf giggles
at you!
And Helmut chortles!
Wait, you do not understand!
Your tiger is in danger!
Is that
a threat, mister?
What? No,
not danger from me!
From who, then?
Um, a dark chi wizard?
Please, let me explain--
(impersonating Elvis)
Thank you very much.
Yo, red,
how ya doin'?
Thank you,
thank you very much.
peanut
butter sandwich.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Get me a banana and
peanut butter sandwich?
Uh, yes,
thank you very much.
Now, where would
I keep a--
aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, nice tiger.
Whew! Tame tiger.
Hello, uh, Sasha.
Would you like
to go for a walk?
Come with Jackie.
Come on.
(Meows) Please?
If the yin Yang
power means balance
Good balance.
Good Sasha. Huh?
Bad Sasha!
(Gasps)
Jackie!
2 Sashas?
Just one!
And her nice half
is getting away!
Oh, pretty tiger
Sasha is excited, ya?
She loves to train
with Helmut and ulf.
(Both scream)
(Meows)
(Helmut and ulf
screaming)
Jackie.
(Both scream)
Huh?
Sasha is very
moody today.
You have
the keys, ya?
Bad day. Bad day.
Bad day. Bad day.
Jackie, you rock!
You can pull 'em
back together, right?
Uh-oh. Jackie's
coming apart, too!
Jackie, are
you ok?!
Oh, yeah.
Thank you
for asking.
Aah!
What?
What?
Aah!
Aah!
Hey, I have a zit.
Get off of my body
or I'll pop you!
Oof! I do not
wish to argue,
but this is
my body, too!
I didn't let
the yin-Yang power
finish separating you,
so one head's
your dark side,
and the other is
Light! That's me!
There's only
one sure way to put
your heads back together.
Come on, we really
have to find those tigers!
There goes one!
Uh-oh.
And I thought
we looked freaky.
Forget them!
The animal is near!
Come on!
Bring it on!
I'll whup ya
with one hand.
Hey!
Hmm?
Hmm?
Yes.
What are you
looking at?
I do not
see the tiger!
Maybe we should
split up.
So I got
all the brains.
Tiger at 12 o'clock.
Aah! It's a tiger!
A tiger! Aah!
Uh, heads up, guys.
And now, to absorb
your glorious power.
(Chants)
Hmm?
The extraction spell
is not working!
Yo, dao-man,
you online?
We eyeballed
the cat!
Nonsense! The animal
is here before me.
Who knew there were
so many tigers in Vegas?
You sure about
that, boss?
This one's
white.
And it's mean.
Mean?
(Gasps) I possess only
the yin of the beast.
Bring me
the Yang immediately!
Gotcha!
Hello, kitty.
Muzzle!
(Growls)
(Growls)
We did it!
We are kings
of the jungle!
Hand over
the tomcat, chan,
or we'll wipe
that smile off your faces.
Let's rock!
Wait!
- We cannot leave
the tiger with--
whoa!
Get the cat!
Sorry!
Oh, sorry!
Oh, did
I hurt you?
All: Aah! Tiger!
Aah! Tiger!
No, wrong way!
Whoa!
3 jokers,
and jackies are wild.
Who's in?
Not me!
Hey, you kicked them
with my leg!
Missed me!
Stop! Please!
Can we talk
about this?
Come on!
Hold this.
Aah!
Heads, you lose!
Ow!
Double or nothing.
Oh, no.
Jackpot.
Twofer!
Hello, muzzle?
This is the
all-you-can't-eat buffet.
(Groans)
We're on a winning streak.
2 tigers to none!
You have
the other tiger?
Yo, d-man,
beam us up.
Jackie! Jackie!
The bad guys
have both Sashas!
If the anti-uncle
drains their power,
you guys'll be
stuck this way!
(Gasps) Forever?
Oh, boy.
(Telephone rings)
Room service? I have
been waiting for--
uncle, thank
goodness you are--
Jackie! How can
you leave uncle
at a shabby hotel
with no eel saliva?
Pull your tongue
out of your mouth
and wring out the spit.
(Gasps) You call
uncle an eel?!
Uncle,
I'm sorry.
No, I'm not!
Yes, I am.
No, I'm not.
Jackie, why
do you babble
like a crazy person?
Both: Because
I have 2 heads.
And daolon wong
has 2 tigers.
We need your
locator spell.
(Sighs)
It's still not
long enough, ulf.
Oh, we must find
a way out, Helmut.
It is nearly showtime.
At last, I shall
absorb the power of--
(sniffs) Hmm?
Wasn't me.
Hello!
Hurry, fathead!
Hey, our heads
are the same size!
Off with
his heads!
All: Whoa!
Well, that's the opposite
of what we had in mind.
Ah! Free at last!
Attack!
(Growls)
Fighting
is not nice.
You cannot
defeat me, old man.
Who are you calling old,
you bag of bones!?
Aah!
You have learned
the yen huo fire magic?
Substituting eel saliva
with mayonnaise.
No match for
the genuine article!
Nice teamwork,
partner.
don't touch me.
Aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, hello.
(Audience oohs and aahs)
Thank you. Aah!
Wonder what
this one does?
Whoa!
Aah!
don't touch me.
No problem.
Ow!
(Audience cheers)
So, which one's Helmut
and which one's ulf?
Your half-baked spells
cannot defeat me!
I blame room service!
Uh-oh.
Come to me,
talisman magic!
(Chanting)
Jackie!
Giddyap!
Abra-cadabra?
Eh?
No, I don't
wanna go back!
Come on,
we belong together!
(Audience cheers)
The one, the only!
Now we just
have to convince
Helmut and ulf to let us--
take the nasty
tiger, please!
Ya! We will be auditioning
for a juggling Bear.
Well, no bears in
the Chinese zodiac, right?
Hey Jackie,
do you play video games?
I really love
all kinds of video.
Ok, I play Tetris.
People come
to talk to me,
I just keep playing.
One day I dream my head
no fit into any hole.
I get up, I take
my video game away.
It's bad.
Are we there yet?
Patience, Jade.
We will not know
where there is
until uncle's
locator spell
leads us to
the animal we seek.
The tiger who
has inherited
the talisman power
of yin and Yang.
Well, make it hurry,
'cause it reeks
something fierce in here.
Are you sure
the spell is
accurate, uncle?
Nevada is not
exactly known
as tiger country.
Never mock the sock.
It's our only chance
of finding the tiger
before the forces
of darkness do.
Well, bet ya
daolon wong doesn't have to
spend all day cooped up
in a smelly car.
(Chants)
Pee-yew!
Are we there yet?
So, big d,
- we really appreciate
you turning us
into superpowered
dark chi dudes
and all,
but we gotta
talk image.
I'm not digging the
whole orange vibe,
and these
outfits kinda
scream boy band.
Nah, we look like kiss.
We look like
circus freaks.
Hey! Can you not all see
that I am trying
to concentrate?
I must find the tiger
and acquire its power
before that
accursed old man
and his family intrude.
What?
Aah! Daolon wong!
Aah!
(Gurgles) Ow!
(Gurgles) Ow!
(Chants)
(Chants)
Whoa!
Get out there
and stop them!
But--
now!
Jackie, look out!
Aah!
All: Aah!
Dudes, we have powers.
Oh, yeah.
Sweet!
(All laugh)
Do you think
they are
All right? Ow!
Of course they
are all right!
They are magic!
Now drive! Quickly!
(Growls)
Uncle: Stop the car!
The tiger we seek
is here!
Jackie:
In las Vegas?
I think the world famous
Sasha makes the cut.
But uncle, even if
it is the right tiger,
what am I
supposed to say?
"Hello, my
name is Jackie.
Can I borrow your
star attraction?"
Ow!
You figure it out!
Uncle must do research.
When daolon wong arrives,
we will need powerful
spells to combat him.
Shoo! Shoo!
Come on, Jackie.
We'll take care
of the tiger,
and then
take in Vegas.
Some shows,
some all-you-can-eat
buffets
Jade, what part of
daolon wong did you
not understand?
Oh!
Sasha has
the heart of
a savage predator,
but we have tamed
her wild nature
with years
of training.
Right, ulf?
Ya, Helmut!
Now Sasha is our Princess!
Room service?
Yes, please send up
one vial of eel saliva,
3 jars of
powdered duck feet,
and a pair of
moose antlers.
What?
What kind of hotel
does not have eel saliva?
Hey, uncle,
I know you're busy,
so if you want me
to go help Jackie,
just signal by
yelling into the phone.
I do not want
chicken fingers!
I require duck feet!
You got it!
So, you want
to borrow
our Sasha?
Uh, yes.
Um, I'll pay you?
(Both laugh)
Ulf giggles
at you!
And Helmut chortles!
Wait, you do not understand!
Your tiger is in danger!
Is that
a threat, mister?
What? No,
not danger from me!
From who, then?
Um, a dark chi wizard?
Please, let me explain--
(impersonating Elvis)
Thank you very much.
Yo, red,
how ya doin'?
Thank you,
thank you very much.
peanut
butter sandwich.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Get me a banana and
peanut butter sandwich?
Uh, yes,
thank you very much.
Now, where would
I keep a--
aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, nice tiger.
Whew! Tame tiger.
Hello, uh, Sasha.
Would you like
to go for a walk?
Come with Jackie.
Come on.
(Meows) Please?
If the yin Yang
power means balance
Good balance.
Good Sasha. Huh?
Bad Sasha!
(Gasps)
Jackie!
2 Sashas?
Just one!
And her nice half
is getting away!
Oh, pretty tiger
Sasha is excited, ya?
She loves to train
with Helmut and ulf.
(Both scream)
(Meows)
(Helmut and ulf
screaming)
Jackie.
(Both scream)
Huh?
Sasha is very
moody today.
You have
the keys, ya?
Bad day. Bad day.
Bad day. Bad day.
Jackie, you rock!
You can pull 'em
back together, right?
Uh-oh. Jackie's
coming apart, too!
Jackie, are
you ok?!
Oh, yeah.
Thank you
for asking.
Aah!
What?
What?
Aah!
Aah!
Hey, I have a zit.
Get off of my body
or I'll pop you!
Oof! I do not
wish to argue,
but this is
my body, too!
I didn't let
the yin-Yang power
finish separating you,
so one head's
your dark side,
and the other is
Light! That's me!
There's only
one sure way to put
your heads back together.
Come on, we really
have to find those tigers!
There goes one!
Uh-oh.
And I thought
we looked freaky.
Forget them!
The animal is near!
Come on!
Bring it on!
I'll whup ya
with one hand.
Hey!
Hmm?
Hmm?
Yes.
What are you
looking at?
I do not
see the tiger!
Maybe we should
split up.
So I got
all the brains.
Tiger at 12 o'clock.
Aah! It's a tiger!
A tiger! Aah!
Uh, heads up, guys.
And now, to absorb
your glorious power.
(Chants)
Hmm?
The extraction spell
is not working!
Yo, dao-man,
you online?
We eyeballed
the cat!
Nonsense! The animal
is here before me.
Who knew there were
so many tigers in Vegas?
You sure about
that, boss?
This one's
white.
And it's mean.
Mean?
(Gasps) I possess only
the yin of the beast.
Bring me
the Yang immediately!
Gotcha!
Hello, kitty.
Muzzle!
(Growls)
(Growls)
We did it!
We are kings
of the jungle!
Hand over
the tomcat, chan,
or we'll wipe
that smile off your faces.
Let's rock!
Wait!
- We cannot leave
the tiger with--
whoa!
Get the cat!
Sorry!
Oh, sorry!
Oh, did
I hurt you?
All: Aah! Tiger!
Aah! Tiger!
No, wrong way!
Whoa!
3 jokers,
and jackies are wild.
Who's in?
Not me!
Hey, you kicked them
with my leg!
Missed me!
Stop! Please!
Can we talk
about this?
Come on!
Hold this.
Aah!
Heads, you lose!
Ow!
Double or nothing.
Oh, no.
Jackpot.
Twofer!
Hello, muzzle?
This is the
all-you-can't-eat buffet.
(Groans)
We're on a winning streak.
2 tigers to none!
You have
the other tiger?
Yo, d-man,
beam us up.
Jackie! Jackie!
The bad guys
have both Sashas!
If the anti-uncle
drains their power,
you guys'll be
stuck this way!
(Gasps) Forever?
Oh, boy.
(Telephone rings)
Room service? I have
been waiting for--
uncle, thank
goodness you are--
Jackie! How can
you leave uncle
at a shabby hotel
with no eel saliva?
Pull your tongue
out of your mouth
and wring out the spit.
(Gasps) You call
uncle an eel?!
Uncle,
I'm sorry.
No, I'm not!
Yes, I am.
No, I'm not.
Jackie, why
do you babble
like a crazy person?
Both: Because
I have 2 heads.
And daolon wong
has 2 tigers.
We need your
locator spell.
(Sighs)
It's still not
long enough, ulf.
Oh, we must find
a way out, Helmut.
It is nearly showtime.
At last, I shall
absorb the power of--
(sniffs) Hmm?
Wasn't me.
Hello!
Hurry, fathead!
Hey, our heads
are the same size!
Off with
his heads!
All: Whoa!
Well, that's the opposite
of what we had in mind.
Ah! Free at last!
Attack!
(Growls)
Fighting
is not nice.
You cannot
defeat me, old man.
Who are you calling old,
you bag of bones!?
Aah!
You have learned
the yen huo fire magic?
Substituting eel saliva
with mayonnaise.
No match for
the genuine article!
Nice teamwork,
partner.
don't touch me.
Aah!
(Gasps)
Uh, hello.
(Audience oohs and aahs)
Thank you. Aah!
Wonder what
this one does?
Whoa!
Aah!
don't touch me.
No problem.
Ow!
(Audience cheers)
So, which one's Helmut
and which one's ulf?
Your half-baked spells
cannot defeat me!
I blame room service!
Uh-oh.
Come to me,
talisman magic!
(Chanting)
Jackie!
Giddyap!
Abra-cadabra?
Eh?
No, I don't
wanna go back!
Come on,
we belong together!
(Audience cheers)
The one, the only!
Now we just
have to convince
Helmut and ulf to let us--
take the nasty
tiger, please!
Ya! We will be auditioning
for a juggling Bear.
Well, no bears in
the Chinese zodiac, right?
Hey Jackie,
do you play video games?
I really love
all kinds of video.
Ok, I play Tetris.
People come
to talk to me,
I just keep playing.
One day I dream my head
no fit into any hole.
I get up, I take
my video game away.
It's bad.