Professor T (2021) s03e05 Episode Script
The Conference
1
MUSIC: "Vox Humana"
by Janko Nilovic.
Okay?
-(indistinct chatter)
-(indistinct police radio chatter)
(police officer) Down here.
-(lift door creaking, clattering)
-(indistinct police radio chatter)
(police officer)
Ready to get briefed?
-(lift bell dings)
-Go.
These. Okay, and these. This area.
Can you cover that?
-(police officer) Yeah.
-(Maiya) Hmm?
(Wilfred) Please welcome
Professor Jasper Tempest.
(audience applauding)
(whispers)
Your job depends on this.
(applause fades out)
What you are about to hear is
a rumination
on the vital importance
of the initial stages
of a homicide investigation.
A period sometimes referred to
as "the golden hour".
I should also add
that one of you here in this hall
committed murder
less than 24 hours ago.
(audience gasping,
chattering indistinctly)
At the conclusion
of the aforementioned speech,
your identity will be revealed.
(indistinct chatter continues)
(theme music playing)
(theme music concludes)
MUSIC: "Non t'amo piu" by Compagnia
d'Opera Italiana & Antonello Gotta.
(Professor Tempest)
Do you remember Professor Emmerich?
(Adelaide) The cartoon character?
You met him at my graduation.
He conducted a fascinating
experiment on our final-year class.
I am thinking of using it
in the keynote speech
at the conference.
Maybe I'm thinking
of Professor Calculus.
You're not listening, are you?
(Adelaide) Jasper,
the test of a first-rate mind
is the ability
to do two things at once.
I can paint
and retain the information
that you think you'll be delivering
the keynote speech
at the British Criminology
Conference.
Firstly, Mother, you have misquoted
F Scott Fitzgerald.
-Tell him to sue.
-And secondly, what do you mean
I think I will be giving
the keynote speech
at the conference?
That role has been mine
for the past five years.
And therefore,
becomes your ancestral right,
despite the fact
you're currently unemployed?
That, Mother, is a situation
both temporary and irrelevant.
Well, the Dean
has chosen the speakers,
but not their order of appearance.
If I am not to give
the keynote speech
-at the conference, then
-Erm, what do you think?
MUSIC: "Wa Ba Da Ba Oh"
by Yan Tregger.
I think, Mother, that you are
artfully changing the subject.
# Wa ba da ba oh #
-Morning.
-(Dan) Morning.
(both smooch)
How's your dad getting on
at the home?
Good, really good.
He's got a girlfriend.
Player! (chuckles) I, erm
It's for your dad.
I was reading about music
helping people with, erm, you know.
-Dementia.
-Yeah.
Dan, that's really thoughtful.
(kisses)
As you know, much of what I do
involves manoeuvres
in what used to be called
smoke-filled rooms. (chuckles)
I'm not sure
what they're called now.
Rooms.
Indeed, yes.
Anyway, as a result
of these machinations,
I believe I can persuade
the dreaded appointments board
to reappoint you.
But to achieve that, Haiden,
as your current replacement,
-has to go, of course.
-Mm.
Onto which red-brick factory farm
have you off-loaded
Professor Haiden?
Ah, now there's
the bothersome part.
I've convinced
St Cuthbert's College
to employ the professor.
-What, St Cuthbert's, Oxford?
-Yes.
How?
I raised his status.
He's delivering the keynote speech
at this year's conference.
-It's for the greater good.
-(sighs)
(Wilfred) You should,
all being well, get your job back.
(exhales)
(slow music playing)
-Listening in?
-"It's for the greater good."
I thought as much.
-In theory.
-In theory?
The Dean hasn't thought it through.
Professor Haiden's speech
has come to my attention.
-It doesn't exactly sparkle.
-Quantify the sparkle deficit.
You know he's broken your record
for student complaints?
How bad is the speech?
It could easily make
St Cuthbert's change their mind.
I think you need to help him
improve it, spice it up.
For the greater good?
Professor Haiden is booked
into the Hotel Fordham.
He needs time to "prepare",
but I know the real reason.
-Do you?
-He likes to, er, "entertain".
He enjoys "company".
Don't most people?
Oh, for goodness' sake,
he pays for sex!
Oh.
Let's hope the Dean
of St Cuthbert's
doesn't find that out.
MUSIC: "Les Enfants Du Soleil"
by Janko Nilovic & Louis Delacour.
Oh, dear.
(receptionist) Your card, sir.
Thank you.
(elevator bell dings)
(indistinct chatter)
Professor Tempest.
I saw your name
on the list of speakers.
And I yours.
-No keynote this year?
-(Professor Tempest) Sadly, no.
That honour falls
to Professor Haiden,
er, who I believe
has just been announced
as head of your department
at St Cuthbert's.
Mm. C'est la guerre. (chuckles)
-Oh, darling?
-Hmm?
This is Professor Jasper Tempest.
That's a name
I have heard so often.
-(chuckles)
-(inhales)
-You don't shake hands.
-Well remembered.
You were my MP
for a number of years.
-I did not vote for you.
-Er! Well, nor did my wife.
-(laughs)
-You were sacked.
Er, deselected.
Yes, that's another thing
I remember Tina telling me, er
You're direct.
Did she also tell you
she was one of the finest students
I had the pleasure of teaching?
No, she didn't have to.
Er, we've ordered a table
for 9:00 p.m.,
if you'd like to join us?
I shall give it some consideration.
-Mm.
-Great.
MUSIC: "Summer Lovers"
by Janko Nilovic.
(woman) I told you how much.
(Professor Haiden) It's misleading.
(woman) Oh, I'm sorry
you thought that.
(indistinct chatter)
Professor Haiden,
I believe your position
at St Cuthbert's
may be in jeopardy.
-In what way?
-Do you wish to discuss it here?
(exhales deeply)
(door closing)
I read the speech
you intend to give
at tomorrow's conference.
How? No one was supposed
to see that.
Unfortunately, it cannot be unread.
But I believe
with some judicious editing,
and a large helping of insight,
it can be salvaged.
"Salvaged"?
What do you mean, "salvaged"?
It is a word
with a singular meaning.
You have been offered the position
of head of criminology
at St Cuthbert's.
Terms need to be agreed, but yes.
Did you imagine no one
from St Cuthbert's would attend?
-What are you talking about?
-Once exposed to your speech,
they will have no choice
but to withdraw their offer.
Did you apply for the job?
No.
You got a knock-back, didn't you?
-No, of course not.
-(chuckles) You got a knock-back,
I'm delivering the keynote speech,
your career's over,
and now you're here
in some bizarre attempt
to shore up your ego.
-(exhales)
-(commode clattering)
-(woman clearing throat)
-Enjoy your evening.
I had a strange call from Jasper.
Is there any other kind?
I did happen to notice
he'd been researching
recovered memory syndrome.
And you happened
to notice this where?
-On his phone.
-(scoffs) You are a snoop.
Wilfred, I'm a mother.
It's a role
that comes with certain privileges.
The right to snoop
being the oldest, most revered.
Well, if there's
no physical evidence
to support any so-called memories,
then there's nothing
to worry about.
-(gulps)
-There isn't any, is there?
Physical evidence?
No, of course not.
(classical music playing)
(footsteps approaching)
(waitress) Hello and good evening.
-That was quite cute, wasn't it?
-(chuckles)
-(indistinct chatter)
-(glasses clinking)
(chuckles)
-I decided to join you.
-(Tina) Wonderful.
(Alex)
I'll let the head waiter know.
Right. Er (chuckles)
Do you know
that when I was your student,
I had the biggest crush on you?
(inhales)
And then
seeing you again today, then
I realised that
it was actually
a lot more than just a crush.
(intense music playing,
concludes abruptly)
Professor, I'm gonna be
wowing an empty hall,
talking about cybercrime education
for the police.
(laughs)
Look, you're dropping off already.
-(chuckling)
-Wait till you hear it.
-It'll ruffle a few feathers.
-(Tina snickers)
Do you know her?
Giselle Haiden.
-The professor's wife?
-I bumped into her in the ladies'.
Professor doesn't know she's here.
She asked me
if I'd seen him with anyone.
I said no.
I think she's trying to work up
the courage to confront him.
Er, why were you deselected
as an MP?
(scoffs) Oh, God.
Were you abroad? (chuckles)
I rarely listen to the news.
He swore at a reporter, on live TV.
And I'd do it again.
She made
a political issue personal.
It was when Toby was a baby.
(inhales) Ancient history.
-Of course.
-(Alex) Yep.
Well, the fact was
that I was suffering
with postnatal depression.
Couldn't get out of bed.
I couldn't look after my baby.
And then
this reporter's badgering Alex.
"How can you support the NHS
if your wife is using
a private hospital?"
(inhales deeply)
Ooh, we need more wine.
-(thumping)
-Allow me.
(clicks tongue)
So your room number?
Oh, come on, do I have
to bribe the receptionist?
I need to work on my speech.
-(laughs) Okay.
-Until tomorrow. Mm.
(inhales)
MUSIC: "Le belle parole"
by Alain Pewzner & Louisa Bailèche.
(song continues through headphones)
-(Professor Tempest exhales)
-(headphones bleep)
(button clicking)
(tense music playing)
(sighs, smacks lips)
Erik?
(muffled screams)
(Giselle sobbing)
(intense music playing)
(sobs) Please help him!
(police siren wails)
It's just what I've always wanted.
The chance to investigate a murder
surrounded by people
-who think they can do it better.
-(Dan) A bunch of criminologists.
(snores)
(indistinct chatter)
-Ma'am.
-(Maiya) Oh, hello.
-This is the last thing we needed.
-(Lisa) Yeah.
So, what do we know?
Single blow to the back
of the skull.
We believe that the killer
used that champagne bottle there.
Er, the watch face is smashed.
Stopped at 9:25 p.m.
Yeah, attempt
to defend himself, maybe.
Well, we'll use that
as our time of death
-until we get the PM report. Yeah?
-Okay.
We think the killer
took the victim's phone.
Got the number off his wife,
and it's just ringing out.
Well, DI Rabbit's
speaking to her now.
I've talked to management.
They're setting up
a couple of rooms for you.
You'll have full access to CCTV,
so interview everyone
that walked down this corridor.
Only two problems are the images
don't quite extend to this room,
and the cameras by the fire exit
have not worked for years.
(Dan) Right.
You might have a long night ahead.
Call me if you need me.
Thanks, ma'am.
Could be a long night, Lise.
I heard her.
(camera shutter clicking)
Thank you.
-Lise?
-(Lisa) Yeah?
This key card's for another room.
That's odd.
(suspenseful music playing)
-I'm here for the conference.
-(receptionist) Mm-hmm.
Room 816. I'm a sales rep.
Cambridge today, Brighton tomorrow.
Who's going to know about this?
If you haven't done
anything illegal,
it's not gonna go
further than this room.
I won a holiday for two.
Friend won a holiday. Didn't fancy
sharing it with her husband.
(Paul) You found him
around eleven o'clock?
I went up to wish him luck.
(sniffles)
-(inhales) And the door was open?
-(Giselle) Yes.
-(Paul) You went in?
-No.
I could see him. (sniffles)
I can't do this! (cries)
Mrs Haiden, don't leave the hotel.
-(Maiya) Morning!
-(door closing)
Hello, ma'am.
-(Maiya) How are you getting on?
-(Lisa) Yeah.
Any breakthroughs?
Not really.
Er, well, there's, er
there's this.
-(knocking on door)
-I've got that.
-What's he doing here? (tuts)
-(door opening)
I have just been apprised
of the news.
-Er, why did you not wake me?
-Oh, speak of the devil.
-(Dan) Known to the victim
-(exhales)
professional rival,
present at the crime scene.
I spoke with Professor Haiden
at ten minutes past six.
He was hiding a woman
in the en suite.
A woman? Not his wife?
Unless he pays his wife
for marital relations, I think not.
How do you know that?
-I overheard them arguing.
-(Dan) Er, Vinette Lawson,
believed to be
working as an escort,
she's got a criminal record.
Er, robbery of a client's wallet
in 2019, and
this is one minute to six,
and this is 6:55.
We believe the time of death
may have been 9:25.
Well, if they were arguing
over money, maybe she came back.
Well, you knew him pretty well.
Who'd want him dead?
Let me see. Erm
Well, his students, colleagues,
-people who knew him socially
-(Maiya) Okay, thanks, yeah.
Really helpful.
I don't have to tell you anything.
And I can keep you here
when you could be working.
I make more in a week
than you do in a year.
Did you go into Haiden's room?
-Yeah.
-(Lisa) Did he pay you?
(over speaker) I'm not a charity.
You were overheard
arguing about money.
Lot of rooms.
Could've been anybody.
Did you go back there?
Why would I?
(Maiya) DI Donckers?
Regarding your transfer,
I've had some responses.
Birmingham Central,
Norwich, Liverpool East,
all very keen to have you.
-I'd prefer Norwich.
-(Maiya) Norwich?
(Lisa) Yes.
I wouldn't have to move house.
Okay.
Well, you can start next week.
I'll inform the team.
I'm gonna tell DS Winters myself.
-Okay.
-(Lisa) Okay.
Why do these things
always happen to me?
I agree. It is most inconsiderate
of Professor Haiden
-to have got himself killed.
-(sighs)
Well, my first conference
as curator, and it's falling apart.
Mm.
Well, perhaps I should give
Professor Haiden's speech
-instead of my own.
-(indistinct chatter)
As a mark of respect?
Respect for achieving the one thing
in life that is inevitable?
Mm.
Why would you do that?
We've been gifted
the perfect opportunity
to breathe life
into an otherwise moribund subject.
I could use
the live police investigation
to illuminate the importance
of the golden hour.
I sense hesitation.
I'm not sure
Mrs Haiden will approve.
I shall speak with her.
-(Dan) Lisa.
-(Lisa) Hi.
-How is our suspect?
-(Lisa) Didn't wanna play.
-Hey, remember the key card
-(Lisa) Dan
-we found in Haiden's room?
-(Lisa) Yeah?
It was for the room
his wife was booked into.
But she told Rabbit
that she didn't go in there.
What, did she give it to him, or
Don't know yet.
She's making funeral arrangements.
-(Lisa) Dan
-Hey, this was found
in the hotel grounds.
Haiden's phone.
Here's the thing.
He called Vinette Lawson twice.
First time, we're assuming,
to arrange the 6:00 p.m. pick-up.
The second time was at 8:45 p.m.
I've re-checked the CCTV
on Haiden's floor.
There is no sign
of Vinette Lawson returning.
-Dan!
-What?
This is my last week.
I'm I got a transfer.
-Er, but I thought we agreed I
-No, we didn't agree.
You were very insistent,
but we didn't agree.
(sighs) That's
That's not how I remember it.
Well, it is Norwich,
so it's only an hour away.
-So, that's that's good.
-That's good.
Do you think
we could find an empty room?
-Oh, yeah?
-(knocking on door)
Oh, hang on. Wait one sec.
Mm. (kisses)
Oh, hi. Hi.
Thank you.
I hope you're hungry.
Seriously?
-Did I not order enough?
-(laughs)
(cutlery clinking)
(mellow instrumental music playing)
May I join you?
-My name
-I know who you are.
(indistinct chatter)
(Professor Tempest) When news
of your husband's demise broke,
the first thought, of course,
was to cancel the conference.
Then the thought arose that,
with your permission,
we might continue.
As a mark of respect.
Mm.
Mm.
If you agree,
I shall give a version
of your husband's speech.
"A version"?
To describe his speech as mediocre
is to grossly inflate
its qualities.
(exhales)
I'm the curator
of the conference
You have my permission.
Thank you. Mm.
Vinette Lawson,
11:30 p.m. last night.
She's using Haiden's credit card.
Did she come back?
(Dan) Er, not that we've seen, no.
Well, is there any other way
into the hotel?
Come on, guys,
I know we're under pressure here,
murder at
the criminology conference,
I get it, okay?
So, we get back to basics.
Most murders are committed
(Dan)
By someone known to the victim.
(Maiya) See, I reckon
she came back,
and I think she used the fire exit,
which means that anybody
can access Haiden's room
-without it showing up on CCTV.
-(Dan) Right.
So, we interview everybody
that is connected to Haiden,
and if we've talked
to them already,
we talk to them again.
(Lisa) All right.
Single blow
to the back of the skull.
(Maiya) Vinette Lawson,
did she come back?
Well, is there any other way
into the hotel?
(Dan) The watch face is smashed.
Stopped at 9:25 p.m.
(Maiya) And the cameras
by the fire exit
have not worked for years.
(Wilfred) I fear the worst. (sighs)
You have a spring in your step.
I dread to think
what you've got planned.
You require me to deliver
Professor Haiden's speech.
The police wish me
to help solve his murder.
I was torn.
I now realise
they're the same thing.
So, why did you lie to us?
You received a message
from Professor Haiden's phone
-around two hours after you left.
-Yeah. I deleted it.
-What did he want?
-What do you think he wanted?
(Maiya) If you wanna spend
another 24 hours locked up,
that's fine by me.
(breathes deeply)
An image of you arriving back
at the hotel at 9:20 p.m.
Why did you go back?
(suspenseful music playing)
(sighs)
Sometimes they want seconds.
Well, you don't show up
on the CCTV.
The lift was taking ages.
I used the backstairs.
You saw Haiden?
Knocked on his door,
there was no answer.
Tried his number,
went to voicemail.
I hung around for a few minutes,
then I left.
You stole Haiden's credit card.
No. I found it outside his room.
He must've dropped it.
I took what was owed for my time.
What This this is bullshit!
We're interviewing everyone
in the hotel
who'd a connection
with Professor Haiden.
How well did you know him?
Erm, well, we taught
in the same department
at Durham University.
Although this was about
ten years ago, so
You were in room 805.
Did you pop in, say hi?
No, I didn't know him that well.
You were about to be
colleagues again.
Yes, the head of criminology
at St Cuthbert's is retiring.
I believe he was offered the post.
And what were you doing last night
between 9:00 and 11:00?
-(inhales) I have an alibi.
-(Dan gulping)
(opera music playing)
(Alex) Between 9:00 and 11:00,
I was having dinner with my wife,
and that gent there.
Also, Giselle Haiden
was in the bar.
-She can vouch for us.
-Was she with anyone?
No.
What do you think
she was doing there?
(sighs) My wife thought
that she might be waiting
to catch her husband
with another woman.
(Lisa) We found your key card
in your husband's room.
You told us you didn't go in there.
I must've given it to him.
Did you suspect your husband
was seeing other women?
(tense music playing)
-We had an open marriage.
-Did you?
You checked into the hotel
under an assumed name.
You paid cash.
Looks like you were
trying to remain incognito
while you checked up
on your husband.
The assumed name,
it was a name we used
to spice things up.
Okay. Open marriage,
-you had affairs, he had affairs?
-Of course.
Who did you have an affair with?
Name one person
you had an affair with.
The man I love
has just been murdered
and you're subjecting me
to these insulting questions?
I don't have to tell you
who I've slept with.
I don't have to tell you anything.
(footsteps receding)
Where's he gone?
MUSIC: "Marechiare" by Compagnia
d'Opera Italiana & Antonello Gotta.
(music continues
through headphones)
To myself. A life well lived.
(gulps, sighs)
Work.
You've got nothing else.
I ate what I wanted,
got drunk when I pleased,
slept with so many women.
As I slipped away,
I heard a band playing.
Thousands cheering.
(slow music playing)
What will you hear when you go?
(knocking on door)
(rapid knocking on door)
(exhales)
I was hoping for some input.
Professor, was Giselle Haiden
telling the truth?
Sometimes, DI Donckers,
you ask me questions to which
you already know the answer.
Do you think she was telling
the truth?
No. No. No, I don't.
Then, erm
come in and ask yourself why.
Her husband's infidelity
shattered her pride.
-And?
-And those who knew her
didn't respect her enough
to tell her.
Why the false name?
She booked into the hotel
anonymously
because she desperately hoped
that she was wrong,
and if she was wrong,
she didn't want him to know
that she was here.
But she was not wrong.
No, she wasn't wrong.
She saw the escort leave the room,
her world fell apart,
she killed him.
What do you think?
There is a mental health condition
known as intermittent
explosive disorder.
Has Giselle Haiden
a history of violence?
She was arrested four years ago
over a parking dispute,
released without charge.
So, are the pieces
locking together?
No. They are not.
Let us pretend
that you are back at university.
Please, one final lesson.
Fine.
We have two main suspects,
Giselle Haiden and Vinette Lawson.
Both lied to us,
both had means, motive,
and opportunity.
But with so many moving parts,
it is difficult to know
where to focus the enquiry.
Please would you gather together
the glasses and the knives?
Now, place three of the glasses
in a triangle,
far enough apart so that the knives
cannot form a bridge.
Professor Emmerich set up
fifty identical versions
of this puzzle
and gave our class 20 minutes
to suspend the fourth glass,
like so
using the knives.
Begin.
(Wilfred) Ah! There you are.
This is going to have
to be replaced.
I can practically see the bacteria
multiplying in the diaphragm.
(Wilfred) Yes,
I'll see what I can do.
(Professor Tempest)
Are there many cancellations?
One or two.
Most of the guests are happy
to respect Giselle Haiden's wish
for the conference to go ahead.
Giselle Haiden
is one of the main suspects.
She has a front-row seat.
The police aren't gonna
drag her out
-in front of everybody, are they?
-We shall have to wait and see.
(sighs) Er, before you go,
I'd like you to read this out.
It's a list of Professor Haiden's
accomplishments.
-It's blank.
-(Wilfred exhales)
That's exactly the sort of thing
I don't wish to hear.
Mm.
Haiden's postmortem
puts the time of death
at least one hour earlier.
So, Haiden called Vinette Lawson
15 minutes after he died.
(Dan) Nice trick
if you can pull it off.
(Maiya) Exactly.
I believe I know
who killed Professor Haiden.
(suspenseful music playing)
But I am lacking the boson
that gives mass
to the other particles.
-What?
-The final piece of the jigsaw.
So, who is it?
To provide you with the evidence
that you require for a prosecution,
may I request that the suspects be
in the conference hall
to hear my speech?
Hang on. (scoffs)
I am just getting to know
how you work, and I'll be honest,
there are a lot of wild rumours
out there, but that is ridiculous.
I can't authorise that
without a name, a motive, evidence.
Of course.
Okay. Convince me.
And so, to emphasise the urgency
I'm talking about,
I'm gonna leave you with one
extraordinary set of statistics.
(exhales) Erm
Last year, 53% of all UK crime
was fraud and cybercrime.
Of these crimes, only 0.1% resulted
in a criminal charge.
-Thank you very much.
-(audience applauds)
(Wilfred) Tina Morley.
We'll take
a five-minute break, everybody.
(indistinct chatter)
-(Kafka whimpers)
-All right.
Er, all right.
I'll tell him the truth.
(inhales)
-(automated voice) The person
-Wilfred?
you are trying to reach
is unavailable at the moment.
-(line beeping)
-Wilfred, Adelaide.
Yesterday, I may have led you
to believe
there was no physical evidence
that might aid Jasper's memory
of that day.
Don't be alarmed.
I'm about to locate
and destroy the evidence.
(Wilfred) And, of course,
our loss as a college
is one shared with St Cuthbert's,
who had only a few days ago
offered Professor Haiden
the position
of head of criminology.
We are fortunate in having with us
Professor Jasper Tempest,
who has selflessly volunteered
to deliver what would have been
Professor Haiden's keynote speech.
Please welcome
Professor Jasper Tempest.
(audience applauds)
(dramatic music playing)
Your job depends upon this.
(Professor Tempest)
What you are about to hear is
a rumination
on the vital importance
of the initial stages
of a homicide investigation.
A period sometimes referred to
as "the golden hour".
I should also add
that one of you here in this hall
committed murder
less than 24 hours ago.
(audience gasps,
chatters indistinctly)
At the conclusion of this speech,
your identity will be revealed.
I can't believe I okayed this.
The killer, of course,
now has a dilemma.
Do they run,
thus revealing their guilt,
or do they remain in their seat,
hoping that this is a bluff,
an attempt to scare them
into flight?
What will they choose?
But first,
Professor Haiden's speech.
When Professor Haiden
wrote his speech,
he can have had no idea
that the ingredient needed
to give it relevance
would be his own murder.
(exhales deeply)
One thing he got right
was the importance,
when it comes to evidence,
of separating the essential
from the merely fascinating.
May I?
-Yes.
-(knives clattering)
I said use the knives.
I did not say use all the knives.
The killer could not leave
the hotel.
To do so
would focus attention on them.
They also knew that their proximity
to the victim
would mean they would be amongst
the first to be questioned.
They did not trust
their own ability to perform
under such questioning,
so they devised a plan
to distract the police,
to send them chasing clues
in multiple directions.
Amongst this evidential cache
was Professor Haiden's watch,
stopped at 9:25,
as the victim presumably attempted
to ward off the assault.
When the autopsy revealed
the time of death
to be at least an hour earlier,
the police then had to contend
with the mystery
of Professor Haiden's
missing phone.
An item that fortuitously turned up
with the revelation
that the victim may have
placed a call after his death.
Then there was the conveniently
discovered credit card,
used by one of the suspects,
and the key card,
belonging to another,
found in Professor Haiden's room.
The time wasted
on these fascinating,
yet inessential clues
meant that initial interviews
with the suspects were perfunctory.
The killer,
knowing that they would not face
a thorough police interrogation,
and with what appeared
to be a solid alibi,
felt so secure that their behaviour
when questioned
aroused no suspicion.
But there was a flaw.
A subconscious motive.
Surrounded by fellow academics,
the killer was eager to show
how clever she was.
-(man) "She"?
-(indistinct chatter)
Yep.
(Professor Tempest)
She needed to convince herself
how wrong those appointment boards
had been to pass her by,
how absurd it was that the position
that should've been hers
had been offered
to Professor Haiden.
In a room
full of eminent criminologists,
she would sit supreme
and unassailable,
having committed
the perfect murder.
No more need to play
the sympathy card
to excuse her meltdowns
in interviews.
No need to fake the symptoms
of postnatal depression
to elicit the support
of her husband.
No!
You're wrong.
-Twenty minutes.
-(chuckles softly)
(Alex) You are totally wrong.
You never saw how she suffered!
You smug bastard!
-(groans)
-(audience exclaims)
-(groans)
-(handcuffs clicking)
I killed Haiden, not Tina. Me.
I know.
(breathes heavily, groans)
(Maiya) Convince me.
Alex Morley was sacked as an MP
because of what I interpret
as empathetic anger
caused by criticism of his wife.
Empathetic anger can be positive,
but when experienced by someone
who suffers from
intermittent explosive disorder,
-it is often destructive.
-And how would you prove this?
One way would be to use
Tina Morley's pain
to trigger a confession.
I thought if I caught Haiden
with an escort
that the board
would have to reconsider.
(Lisa over speaker)
And appoint your wife?
Yes.
(Dan) What happened?
(Alex) I waited in the foyer,
and I saw her.
I wanted to get a photo of her
with Haiden.
Took the backstairs.
It was too late. So I waited.
I thought I'd get
one of her coming out.
(clicks tongue)
No, no. No, no, give me that back.
Give me the phone back!
(door thuds)
I tried to get my phone back.
He was laughing.
He was ridiculing Tina.
I picked something up,
and I hit him.
Every time Tina went for a job
they'd ask her
to explain the gaps in her CV,
just bringing back those
(cries)
terrible months when, er
she couldn't hold the baby.
(clicks tongue)
She didn't wanna live.
(sobs)
She was led to believe
that the job was hers,
and they gave it to Haiden!
She said to me, "This punishment
is never gonna stop."
I just wanted it to stop.
(Lisa) Did you tell Tina
what you'd done?
No. No. No, I
changed the time,
smashed the watch,
called the escort.
Put Haiden's credit card
where she'd find it.
I did all of it.
(Kafka barking)
(indistinct chatter)
-Are you pleased with yourself?
-I know the cover-up was your idea.
(chuckles) Yeah.
You know everything.
I detected misdirection
before I knew Haiden was dead.
Saying you had a crush,
that was clumsy.
(chuckles)
Nobody will ever love you
the way that Alex loves me.
Nobody.
Professor.
It's your mum.
(tense music playing)
(breathes deeply)
-(Wilfred) How is she?
-She has a broken hip.
Oh!
(Professor Tempest)
The surgeon says
the operation went well.
Hmm.
(melancholic music playing)
(exhales)
The appointments board
has approved your reinstatement.
Mm.
The neighbours believe
she had been in the attic.
She has not been up there
for years.
She was looking for something,
wasn't she?
(inhales)
(theme music playing)
(theme music concludes)
MUSIC: "Vox Humana"
by Janko Nilovic.
Okay?
-(indistinct chatter)
-(indistinct police radio chatter)
(police officer) Down here.
-(lift door creaking, clattering)
-(indistinct police radio chatter)
(police officer)
Ready to get briefed?
-(lift bell dings)
-Go.
These. Okay, and these. This area.
Can you cover that?
-(police officer) Yeah.
-(Maiya) Hmm?
(Wilfred) Please welcome
Professor Jasper Tempest.
(audience applauding)
(whispers)
Your job depends on this.
(applause fades out)
What you are about to hear is
a rumination
on the vital importance
of the initial stages
of a homicide investigation.
A period sometimes referred to
as "the golden hour".
I should also add
that one of you here in this hall
committed murder
less than 24 hours ago.
(audience gasping,
chattering indistinctly)
At the conclusion
of the aforementioned speech,
your identity will be revealed.
(indistinct chatter continues)
(theme music playing)
(theme music concludes)
MUSIC: "Non t'amo piu" by Compagnia
d'Opera Italiana & Antonello Gotta.
(Professor Tempest)
Do you remember Professor Emmerich?
(Adelaide) The cartoon character?
You met him at my graduation.
He conducted a fascinating
experiment on our final-year class.
I am thinking of using it
in the keynote speech
at the conference.
Maybe I'm thinking
of Professor Calculus.
You're not listening, are you?
(Adelaide) Jasper,
the test of a first-rate mind
is the ability
to do two things at once.
I can paint
and retain the information
that you think you'll be delivering
the keynote speech
at the British Criminology
Conference.
Firstly, Mother, you have misquoted
F Scott Fitzgerald.
-Tell him to sue.
-And secondly, what do you mean
I think I will be giving
the keynote speech
at the conference?
That role has been mine
for the past five years.
And therefore,
becomes your ancestral right,
despite the fact
you're currently unemployed?
That, Mother, is a situation
both temporary and irrelevant.
Well, the Dean
has chosen the speakers,
but not their order of appearance.
If I am not to give
the keynote speech
-at the conference, then
-Erm, what do you think?
MUSIC: "Wa Ba Da Ba Oh"
by Yan Tregger.
I think, Mother, that you are
artfully changing the subject.
# Wa ba da ba oh #
-Morning.
-(Dan) Morning.
(both smooch)
How's your dad getting on
at the home?
Good, really good.
He's got a girlfriend.
Player! (chuckles) I, erm
It's for your dad.
I was reading about music
helping people with, erm, you know.
-Dementia.
-Yeah.
Dan, that's really thoughtful.
(kisses)
As you know, much of what I do
involves manoeuvres
in what used to be called
smoke-filled rooms. (chuckles)
I'm not sure
what they're called now.
Rooms.
Indeed, yes.
Anyway, as a result
of these machinations,
I believe I can persuade
the dreaded appointments board
to reappoint you.
But to achieve that, Haiden,
as your current replacement,
-has to go, of course.
-Mm.
Onto which red-brick factory farm
have you off-loaded
Professor Haiden?
Ah, now there's
the bothersome part.
I've convinced
St Cuthbert's College
to employ the professor.
-What, St Cuthbert's, Oxford?
-Yes.
How?
I raised his status.
He's delivering the keynote speech
at this year's conference.
-It's for the greater good.
-(sighs)
(Wilfred) You should,
all being well, get your job back.
(exhales)
(slow music playing)
-Listening in?
-"It's for the greater good."
I thought as much.
-In theory.
-In theory?
The Dean hasn't thought it through.
Professor Haiden's speech
has come to my attention.
-It doesn't exactly sparkle.
-Quantify the sparkle deficit.
You know he's broken your record
for student complaints?
How bad is the speech?
It could easily make
St Cuthbert's change their mind.
I think you need to help him
improve it, spice it up.
For the greater good?
Professor Haiden is booked
into the Hotel Fordham.
He needs time to "prepare",
but I know the real reason.
-Do you?
-He likes to, er, "entertain".
He enjoys "company".
Don't most people?
Oh, for goodness' sake,
he pays for sex!
Oh.
Let's hope the Dean
of St Cuthbert's
doesn't find that out.
MUSIC: "Les Enfants Du Soleil"
by Janko Nilovic & Louis Delacour.
Oh, dear.
(receptionist) Your card, sir.
Thank you.
(elevator bell dings)
(indistinct chatter)
Professor Tempest.
I saw your name
on the list of speakers.
And I yours.
-No keynote this year?
-(Professor Tempest) Sadly, no.
That honour falls
to Professor Haiden,
er, who I believe
has just been announced
as head of your department
at St Cuthbert's.
Mm. C'est la guerre. (chuckles)
-Oh, darling?
-Hmm?
This is Professor Jasper Tempest.
That's a name
I have heard so often.
-(chuckles)
-(inhales)
-You don't shake hands.
-Well remembered.
You were my MP
for a number of years.
-I did not vote for you.
-Er! Well, nor did my wife.
-(laughs)
-You were sacked.
Er, deselected.
Yes, that's another thing
I remember Tina telling me, er
You're direct.
Did she also tell you
she was one of the finest students
I had the pleasure of teaching?
No, she didn't have to.
Er, we've ordered a table
for 9:00 p.m.,
if you'd like to join us?
I shall give it some consideration.
-Mm.
-Great.
MUSIC: "Summer Lovers"
by Janko Nilovic.
(woman) I told you how much.
(Professor Haiden) It's misleading.
(woman) Oh, I'm sorry
you thought that.
(indistinct chatter)
Professor Haiden,
I believe your position
at St Cuthbert's
may be in jeopardy.
-In what way?
-Do you wish to discuss it here?
(exhales deeply)
(door closing)
I read the speech
you intend to give
at tomorrow's conference.
How? No one was supposed
to see that.
Unfortunately, it cannot be unread.
But I believe
with some judicious editing,
and a large helping of insight,
it can be salvaged.
"Salvaged"?
What do you mean, "salvaged"?
It is a word
with a singular meaning.
You have been offered the position
of head of criminology
at St Cuthbert's.
Terms need to be agreed, but yes.
Did you imagine no one
from St Cuthbert's would attend?
-What are you talking about?
-Once exposed to your speech,
they will have no choice
but to withdraw their offer.
Did you apply for the job?
No.
You got a knock-back, didn't you?
-No, of course not.
-(chuckles) You got a knock-back,
I'm delivering the keynote speech,
your career's over,
and now you're here
in some bizarre attempt
to shore up your ego.
-(exhales)
-(commode clattering)
-(woman clearing throat)
-Enjoy your evening.
I had a strange call from Jasper.
Is there any other kind?
I did happen to notice
he'd been researching
recovered memory syndrome.
And you happened
to notice this where?
-On his phone.
-(scoffs) You are a snoop.
Wilfred, I'm a mother.
It's a role
that comes with certain privileges.
The right to snoop
being the oldest, most revered.
Well, if there's
no physical evidence
to support any so-called memories,
then there's nothing
to worry about.
-(gulps)
-There isn't any, is there?
Physical evidence?
No, of course not.
(classical music playing)
(footsteps approaching)
(waitress) Hello and good evening.
-That was quite cute, wasn't it?
-(chuckles)
-(indistinct chatter)
-(glasses clinking)
(chuckles)
-I decided to join you.
-(Tina) Wonderful.
(Alex)
I'll let the head waiter know.
Right. Er (chuckles)
Do you know
that when I was your student,
I had the biggest crush on you?
(inhales)
And then
seeing you again today, then
I realised that
it was actually
a lot more than just a crush.
(intense music playing,
concludes abruptly)
Professor, I'm gonna be
wowing an empty hall,
talking about cybercrime education
for the police.
(laughs)
Look, you're dropping off already.
-(chuckling)
-Wait till you hear it.
-It'll ruffle a few feathers.
-(Tina snickers)
Do you know her?
Giselle Haiden.
-The professor's wife?
-I bumped into her in the ladies'.
Professor doesn't know she's here.
She asked me
if I'd seen him with anyone.
I said no.
I think she's trying to work up
the courage to confront him.
Er, why were you deselected
as an MP?
(scoffs) Oh, God.
Were you abroad? (chuckles)
I rarely listen to the news.
He swore at a reporter, on live TV.
And I'd do it again.
She made
a political issue personal.
It was when Toby was a baby.
(inhales) Ancient history.
-Of course.
-(Alex) Yep.
Well, the fact was
that I was suffering
with postnatal depression.
Couldn't get out of bed.
I couldn't look after my baby.
And then
this reporter's badgering Alex.
"How can you support the NHS
if your wife is using
a private hospital?"
(inhales deeply)
Ooh, we need more wine.
-(thumping)
-Allow me.
(clicks tongue)
So your room number?
Oh, come on, do I have
to bribe the receptionist?
I need to work on my speech.
-(laughs) Okay.
-Until tomorrow. Mm.
(inhales)
MUSIC: "Le belle parole"
by Alain Pewzner & Louisa Bailèche.
(song continues through headphones)
-(Professor Tempest exhales)
-(headphones bleep)
(button clicking)
(tense music playing)
(sighs, smacks lips)
Erik?
(muffled screams)
(Giselle sobbing)
(intense music playing)
(sobs) Please help him!
(police siren wails)
It's just what I've always wanted.
The chance to investigate a murder
surrounded by people
-who think they can do it better.
-(Dan) A bunch of criminologists.
(snores)
(indistinct chatter)
-Ma'am.
-(Maiya) Oh, hello.
-This is the last thing we needed.
-(Lisa) Yeah.
So, what do we know?
Single blow to the back
of the skull.
We believe that the killer
used that champagne bottle there.
Er, the watch face is smashed.
Stopped at 9:25 p.m.
Yeah, attempt
to defend himself, maybe.
Well, we'll use that
as our time of death
-until we get the PM report. Yeah?
-Okay.
We think the killer
took the victim's phone.
Got the number off his wife,
and it's just ringing out.
Well, DI Rabbit's
speaking to her now.
I've talked to management.
They're setting up
a couple of rooms for you.
You'll have full access to CCTV,
so interview everyone
that walked down this corridor.
Only two problems are the images
don't quite extend to this room,
and the cameras by the fire exit
have not worked for years.
(Dan) Right.
You might have a long night ahead.
Call me if you need me.
Thanks, ma'am.
Could be a long night, Lise.
I heard her.
(camera shutter clicking)
Thank you.
-Lise?
-(Lisa) Yeah?
This key card's for another room.
That's odd.
(suspenseful music playing)
-I'm here for the conference.
-(receptionist) Mm-hmm.
Room 816. I'm a sales rep.
Cambridge today, Brighton tomorrow.
Who's going to know about this?
If you haven't done
anything illegal,
it's not gonna go
further than this room.
I won a holiday for two.
Friend won a holiday. Didn't fancy
sharing it with her husband.
(Paul) You found him
around eleven o'clock?
I went up to wish him luck.
(sniffles)
-(inhales) And the door was open?
-(Giselle) Yes.
-(Paul) You went in?
-No.
I could see him. (sniffles)
I can't do this! (cries)
Mrs Haiden, don't leave the hotel.
-(Maiya) Morning!
-(door closing)
Hello, ma'am.
-(Maiya) How are you getting on?
-(Lisa) Yeah.
Any breakthroughs?
Not really.
Er, well, there's, er
there's this.
-(knocking on door)
-I've got that.
-What's he doing here? (tuts)
-(door opening)
I have just been apprised
of the news.
-Er, why did you not wake me?
-Oh, speak of the devil.
-(Dan) Known to the victim
-(exhales)
professional rival,
present at the crime scene.
I spoke with Professor Haiden
at ten minutes past six.
He was hiding a woman
in the en suite.
A woman? Not his wife?
Unless he pays his wife
for marital relations, I think not.
How do you know that?
-I overheard them arguing.
-(Dan) Er, Vinette Lawson,
believed to be
working as an escort,
she's got a criminal record.
Er, robbery of a client's wallet
in 2019, and
this is one minute to six,
and this is 6:55.
We believe the time of death
may have been 9:25.
Well, if they were arguing
over money, maybe she came back.
Well, you knew him pretty well.
Who'd want him dead?
Let me see. Erm
Well, his students, colleagues,
-people who knew him socially
-(Maiya) Okay, thanks, yeah.
Really helpful.
I don't have to tell you anything.
And I can keep you here
when you could be working.
I make more in a week
than you do in a year.
Did you go into Haiden's room?
-Yeah.
-(Lisa) Did he pay you?
(over speaker) I'm not a charity.
You were overheard
arguing about money.
Lot of rooms.
Could've been anybody.
Did you go back there?
Why would I?
(Maiya) DI Donckers?
Regarding your transfer,
I've had some responses.
Birmingham Central,
Norwich, Liverpool East,
all very keen to have you.
-I'd prefer Norwich.
-(Maiya) Norwich?
(Lisa) Yes.
I wouldn't have to move house.
Okay.
Well, you can start next week.
I'll inform the team.
I'm gonna tell DS Winters myself.
-Okay.
-(Lisa) Okay.
Why do these things
always happen to me?
I agree. It is most inconsiderate
of Professor Haiden
-to have got himself killed.
-(sighs)
Well, my first conference
as curator, and it's falling apart.
Mm.
Well, perhaps I should give
Professor Haiden's speech
-instead of my own.
-(indistinct chatter)
As a mark of respect?
Respect for achieving the one thing
in life that is inevitable?
Mm.
Why would you do that?
We've been gifted
the perfect opportunity
to breathe life
into an otherwise moribund subject.
I could use
the live police investigation
to illuminate the importance
of the golden hour.
I sense hesitation.
I'm not sure
Mrs Haiden will approve.
I shall speak with her.
-(Dan) Lisa.
-(Lisa) Hi.
-How is our suspect?
-(Lisa) Didn't wanna play.
-Hey, remember the key card
-(Lisa) Dan
-we found in Haiden's room?
-(Lisa) Yeah?
It was for the room
his wife was booked into.
But she told Rabbit
that she didn't go in there.
What, did she give it to him, or
Don't know yet.
She's making funeral arrangements.
-(Lisa) Dan
-Hey, this was found
in the hotel grounds.
Haiden's phone.
Here's the thing.
He called Vinette Lawson twice.
First time, we're assuming,
to arrange the 6:00 p.m. pick-up.
The second time was at 8:45 p.m.
I've re-checked the CCTV
on Haiden's floor.
There is no sign
of Vinette Lawson returning.
-Dan!
-What?
This is my last week.
I'm I got a transfer.
-Er, but I thought we agreed I
-No, we didn't agree.
You were very insistent,
but we didn't agree.
(sighs) That's
That's not how I remember it.
Well, it is Norwich,
so it's only an hour away.
-So, that's that's good.
-That's good.
Do you think
we could find an empty room?
-Oh, yeah?
-(knocking on door)
Oh, hang on. Wait one sec.
Mm. (kisses)
Oh, hi. Hi.
Thank you.
I hope you're hungry.
Seriously?
-Did I not order enough?
-(laughs)
(cutlery clinking)
(mellow instrumental music playing)
May I join you?
-My name
-I know who you are.
(indistinct chatter)
(Professor Tempest) When news
of your husband's demise broke,
the first thought, of course,
was to cancel the conference.
Then the thought arose that,
with your permission,
we might continue.
As a mark of respect.
Mm.
Mm.
If you agree,
I shall give a version
of your husband's speech.
"A version"?
To describe his speech as mediocre
is to grossly inflate
its qualities.
(exhales)
I'm the curator
of the conference
You have my permission.
Thank you. Mm.
Vinette Lawson,
11:30 p.m. last night.
She's using Haiden's credit card.
Did she come back?
(Dan) Er, not that we've seen, no.
Well, is there any other way
into the hotel?
Come on, guys,
I know we're under pressure here,
murder at
the criminology conference,
I get it, okay?
So, we get back to basics.
Most murders are committed
(Dan)
By someone known to the victim.
(Maiya) See, I reckon
she came back,
and I think she used the fire exit,
which means that anybody
can access Haiden's room
-without it showing up on CCTV.
-(Dan) Right.
So, we interview everybody
that is connected to Haiden,
and if we've talked
to them already,
we talk to them again.
(Lisa) All right.
Single blow
to the back of the skull.
(Maiya) Vinette Lawson,
did she come back?
Well, is there any other way
into the hotel?
(Dan) The watch face is smashed.
Stopped at 9:25 p.m.
(Maiya) And the cameras
by the fire exit
have not worked for years.
(Wilfred) I fear the worst. (sighs)
You have a spring in your step.
I dread to think
what you've got planned.
You require me to deliver
Professor Haiden's speech.
The police wish me
to help solve his murder.
I was torn.
I now realise
they're the same thing.
So, why did you lie to us?
You received a message
from Professor Haiden's phone
-around two hours after you left.
-Yeah. I deleted it.
-What did he want?
-What do you think he wanted?
(Maiya) If you wanna spend
another 24 hours locked up,
that's fine by me.
(breathes deeply)
An image of you arriving back
at the hotel at 9:20 p.m.
Why did you go back?
(suspenseful music playing)
(sighs)
Sometimes they want seconds.
Well, you don't show up
on the CCTV.
The lift was taking ages.
I used the backstairs.
You saw Haiden?
Knocked on his door,
there was no answer.
Tried his number,
went to voicemail.
I hung around for a few minutes,
then I left.
You stole Haiden's credit card.
No. I found it outside his room.
He must've dropped it.
I took what was owed for my time.
What This this is bullshit!
We're interviewing everyone
in the hotel
who'd a connection
with Professor Haiden.
How well did you know him?
Erm, well, we taught
in the same department
at Durham University.
Although this was about
ten years ago, so
You were in room 805.
Did you pop in, say hi?
No, I didn't know him that well.
You were about to be
colleagues again.
Yes, the head of criminology
at St Cuthbert's is retiring.
I believe he was offered the post.
And what were you doing last night
between 9:00 and 11:00?
-(inhales) I have an alibi.
-(Dan gulping)
(opera music playing)
(Alex) Between 9:00 and 11:00,
I was having dinner with my wife,
and that gent there.
Also, Giselle Haiden
was in the bar.
-She can vouch for us.
-Was she with anyone?
No.
What do you think
she was doing there?
(sighs) My wife thought
that she might be waiting
to catch her husband
with another woman.
(Lisa) We found your key card
in your husband's room.
You told us you didn't go in there.
I must've given it to him.
Did you suspect your husband
was seeing other women?
(tense music playing)
-We had an open marriage.
-Did you?
You checked into the hotel
under an assumed name.
You paid cash.
Looks like you were
trying to remain incognito
while you checked up
on your husband.
The assumed name,
it was a name we used
to spice things up.
Okay. Open marriage,
-you had affairs, he had affairs?
-Of course.
Who did you have an affair with?
Name one person
you had an affair with.
The man I love
has just been murdered
and you're subjecting me
to these insulting questions?
I don't have to tell you
who I've slept with.
I don't have to tell you anything.
(footsteps receding)
Where's he gone?
MUSIC: "Marechiare" by Compagnia
d'Opera Italiana & Antonello Gotta.
(music continues
through headphones)
To myself. A life well lived.
(gulps, sighs)
Work.
You've got nothing else.
I ate what I wanted,
got drunk when I pleased,
slept with so many women.
As I slipped away,
I heard a band playing.
Thousands cheering.
(slow music playing)
What will you hear when you go?
(knocking on door)
(rapid knocking on door)
(exhales)
I was hoping for some input.
Professor, was Giselle Haiden
telling the truth?
Sometimes, DI Donckers,
you ask me questions to which
you already know the answer.
Do you think she was telling
the truth?
No. No. No, I don't.
Then, erm
come in and ask yourself why.
Her husband's infidelity
shattered her pride.
-And?
-And those who knew her
didn't respect her enough
to tell her.
Why the false name?
She booked into the hotel
anonymously
because she desperately hoped
that she was wrong,
and if she was wrong,
she didn't want him to know
that she was here.
But she was not wrong.
No, she wasn't wrong.
She saw the escort leave the room,
her world fell apart,
she killed him.
What do you think?
There is a mental health condition
known as intermittent
explosive disorder.
Has Giselle Haiden
a history of violence?
She was arrested four years ago
over a parking dispute,
released without charge.
So, are the pieces
locking together?
No. They are not.
Let us pretend
that you are back at university.
Please, one final lesson.
Fine.
We have two main suspects,
Giselle Haiden and Vinette Lawson.
Both lied to us,
both had means, motive,
and opportunity.
But with so many moving parts,
it is difficult to know
where to focus the enquiry.
Please would you gather together
the glasses and the knives?
Now, place three of the glasses
in a triangle,
far enough apart so that the knives
cannot form a bridge.
Professor Emmerich set up
fifty identical versions
of this puzzle
and gave our class 20 minutes
to suspend the fourth glass,
like so
using the knives.
Begin.
(Wilfred) Ah! There you are.
This is going to have
to be replaced.
I can practically see the bacteria
multiplying in the diaphragm.
(Wilfred) Yes,
I'll see what I can do.
(Professor Tempest)
Are there many cancellations?
One or two.
Most of the guests are happy
to respect Giselle Haiden's wish
for the conference to go ahead.
Giselle Haiden
is one of the main suspects.
She has a front-row seat.
The police aren't gonna
drag her out
-in front of everybody, are they?
-We shall have to wait and see.
(sighs) Er, before you go,
I'd like you to read this out.
It's a list of Professor Haiden's
accomplishments.
-It's blank.
-(Wilfred exhales)
That's exactly the sort of thing
I don't wish to hear.
Mm.
Haiden's postmortem
puts the time of death
at least one hour earlier.
So, Haiden called Vinette Lawson
15 minutes after he died.
(Dan) Nice trick
if you can pull it off.
(Maiya) Exactly.
I believe I know
who killed Professor Haiden.
(suspenseful music playing)
But I am lacking the boson
that gives mass
to the other particles.
-What?
-The final piece of the jigsaw.
So, who is it?
To provide you with the evidence
that you require for a prosecution,
may I request that the suspects be
in the conference hall
to hear my speech?
Hang on. (scoffs)
I am just getting to know
how you work, and I'll be honest,
there are a lot of wild rumours
out there, but that is ridiculous.
I can't authorise that
without a name, a motive, evidence.
Of course.
Okay. Convince me.
And so, to emphasise the urgency
I'm talking about,
I'm gonna leave you with one
extraordinary set of statistics.
(exhales) Erm
Last year, 53% of all UK crime
was fraud and cybercrime.
Of these crimes, only 0.1% resulted
in a criminal charge.
-Thank you very much.
-(audience applauds)
(Wilfred) Tina Morley.
We'll take
a five-minute break, everybody.
(indistinct chatter)
-(Kafka whimpers)
-All right.
Er, all right.
I'll tell him the truth.
(inhales)
-(automated voice) The person
-Wilfred?
you are trying to reach
is unavailable at the moment.
-(line beeping)
-Wilfred, Adelaide.
Yesterday, I may have led you
to believe
there was no physical evidence
that might aid Jasper's memory
of that day.
Don't be alarmed.
I'm about to locate
and destroy the evidence.
(Wilfred) And, of course,
our loss as a college
is one shared with St Cuthbert's,
who had only a few days ago
offered Professor Haiden
the position
of head of criminology.
We are fortunate in having with us
Professor Jasper Tempest,
who has selflessly volunteered
to deliver what would have been
Professor Haiden's keynote speech.
Please welcome
Professor Jasper Tempest.
(audience applauds)
(dramatic music playing)
Your job depends upon this.
(Professor Tempest)
What you are about to hear is
a rumination
on the vital importance
of the initial stages
of a homicide investigation.
A period sometimes referred to
as "the golden hour".
I should also add
that one of you here in this hall
committed murder
less than 24 hours ago.
(audience gasps,
chatters indistinctly)
At the conclusion of this speech,
your identity will be revealed.
I can't believe I okayed this.
The killer, of course,
now has a dilemma.
Do they run,
thus revealing their guilt,
or do they remain in their seat,
hoping that this is a bluff,
an attempt to scare them
into flight?
What will they choose?
But first,
Professor Haiden's speech.
When Professor Haiden
wrote his speech,
he can have had no idea
that the ingredient needed
to give it relevance
would be his own murder.
(exhales deeply)
One thing he got right
was the importance,
when it comes to evidence,
of separating the essential
from the merely fascinating.
May I?
-Yes.
-(knives clattering)
I said use the knives.
I did not say use all the knives.
The killer could not leave
the hotel.
To do so
would focus attention on them.
They also knew that their proximity
to the victim
would mean they would be amongst
the first to be questioned.
They did not trust
their own ability to perform
under such questioning,
so they devised a plan
to distract the police,
to send them chasing clues
in multiple directions.
Amongst this evidential cache
was Professor Haiden's watch,
stopped at 9:25,
as the victim presumably attempted
to ward off the assault.
When the autopsy revealed
the time of death
to be at least an hour earlier,
the police then had to contend
with the mystery
of Professor Haiden's
missing phone.
An item that fortuitously turned up
with the revelation
that the victim may have
placed a call after his death.
Then there was the conveniently
discovered credit card,
used by one of the suspects,
and the key card,
belonging to another,
found in Professor Haiden's room.
The time wasted
on these fascinating,
yet inessential clues
meant that initial interviews
with the suspects were perfunctory.
The killer,
knowing that they would not face
a thorough police interrogation,
and with what appeared
to be a solid alibi,
felt so secure that their behaviour
when questioned
aroused no suspicion.
But there was a flaw.
A subconscious motive.
Surrounded by fellow academics,
the killer was eager to show
how clever she was.
-(man) "She"?
-(indistinct chatter)
Yep.
(Professor Tempest)
She needed to convince herself
how wrong those appointment boards
had been to pass her by,
how absurd it was that the position
that should've been hers
had been offered
to Professor Haiden.
In a room
full of eminent criminologists,
she would sit supreme
and unassailable,
having committed
the perfect murder.
No more need to play
the sympathy card
to excuse her meltdowns
in interviews.
No need to fake the symptoms
of postnatal depression
to elicit the support
of her husband.
No!
You're wrong.
-Twenty minutes.
-(chuckles softly)
(Alex) You are totally wrong.
You never saw how she suffered!
You smug bastard!
-(groans)
-(audience exclaims)
-(groans)
-(handcuffs clicking)
I killed Haiden, not Tina. Me.
I know.
(breathes heavily, groans)
(Maiya) Convince me.
Alex Morley was sacked as an MP
because of what I interpret
as empathetic anger
caused by criticism of his wife.
Empathetic anger can be positive,
but when experienced by someone
who suffers from
intermittent explosive disorder,
-it is often destructive.
-And how would you prove this?
One way would be to use
Tina Morley's pain
to trigger a confession.
I thought if I caught Haiden
with an escort
that the board
would have to reconsider.
(Lisa over speaker)
And appoint your wife?
Yes.
(Dan) What happened?
(Alex) I waited in the foyer,
and I saw her.
I wanted to get a photo of her
with Haiden.
Took the backstairs.
It was too late. So I waited.
I thought I'd get
one of her coming out.
(clicks tongue)
No, no. No, no, give me that back.
Give me the phone back!
(door thuds)
I tried to get my phone back.
He was laughing.
He was ridiculing Tina.
I picked something up,
and I hit him.
Every time Tina went for a job
they'd ask her
to explain the gaps in her CV,
just bringing back those
(cries)
terrible months when, er
she couldn't hold the baby.
(clicks tongue)
She didn't wanna live.
(sobs)
She was led to believe
that the job was hers,
and they gave it to Haiden!
She said to me, "This punishment
is never gonna stop."
I just wanted it to stop.
(Lisa) Did you tell Tina
what you'd done?
No. No. No, I
changed the time,
smashed the watch,
called the escort.
Put Haiden's credit card
where she'd find it.
I did all of it.
(Kafka barking)
(indistinct chatter)
-Are you pleased with yourself?
-I know the cover-up was your idea.
(chuckles) Yeah.
You know everything.
I detected misdirection
before I knew Haiden was dead.
Saying you had a crush,
that was clumsy.
(chuckles)
Nobody will ever love you
the way that Alex loves me.
Nobody.
Professor.
It's your mum.
(tense music playing)
(breathes deeply)
-(Wilfred) How is she?
-She has a broken hip.
Oh!
(Professor Tempest)
The surgeon says
the operation went well.
Hmm.
(melancholic music playing)
(exhales)
The appointments board
has approved your reinstatement.
Mm.
The neighbours believe
she had been in the attic.
She has not been up there
for years.
She was looking for something,
wasn't she?
(inhales)
(theme music playing)
(theme music concludes)