The Guild (2007) s03e05 Episode Script
Application'd
Stupid Asses of Anarchy! Taking revenge outside the game like that? What a skanky reality show move.
Fine, Tink is moving on, the Knights of Good are moving on.
I just posted a call for video submissions for new Guild members on the official forums.
I know there are plenty of people just waiting to "align their Guild aspirations and play-styles with our own unique needs.
" I can't wait to be the one picking someone rather than someone picking me.
This way there's no way I can be rejected! I'm an ego-half-empty kind of girl.
Hello, Codex.
I am Lord Bolio, and this is my formal application to take part of your Guild.
I saw your Guild invitation Very interesting.
My name is Dominglum, but most guys just call me DG.
I'm looking to expand my horizons with a new guild.
My name is StrÿdëR: S-t-r-ÿ-d-ë-R.
We're conjoined twins.
We're not noobs.
I'm a fantastic team player.
And I have a lust for blood! Questing is one of my favorite things.
I am a wizard.
I wake up in the morning and say, "Where am I going to quest today?" I would kill to be part of your Guild literally.
My RL job is teaching high school trigonometry.
Boring! Are you ready to raid? I said, are you ready to raid? I, for one, am not a violent person But I am! Ahh! All right, this is Lord Bolio, signing off.
See you soon.
Please, pick us! Yeah, that was a buffet of humanity I wish I'd never had to sample.
Um, come on, a few of those applications looked okay.
The only opinion I will voice is I would not entrust any of them with a gun in the event of a domestic insurgence.
That's your measure of a Guild member? Really? You barely passed.
What's wrong with the guy who talked poetry? Is he a senator or something? One of these people has to do! We can't experience all the new expansion content without a full party! I want to play! Me too! Creepy whisper.
I'm in the closet hiding from my husband because we're supposed to be spending time together, but I don't know how to interact with him without a screen involved! Let's just find Tink and game! It's not gonna happen! She's not coming back! Moving on! I don't mean to criticize Then, don't! If you are not taking back Guild Leader, then don't say anything at all! Say something so that I can infer you're taking back this job now? Please? No.
In fact, I'm about to log off.
I can't conduct my internet business comfortably when I'm using a Wi-Fi access point named "Skuzz-Bucket-Lick-My-Pony-Butt".
"Skuzz-Bucket-Lick-My-Pony-Butt"? That's the first time I've laughed all day! Dena! Dena! God, I hate you! Hey, ex-girlfriend! I need some quick advice.
When you're using handcuffs while fooling around, right, um, you're not supposed to leave the person tied up outside all night? Pretty sure that's not cool sextiquette.
Um, other than some racy vampire literature I've read, no.
Good, okay.
Zaboo, if Riley's making you do things that make you uncomfortable No, no! Not at all.
She's I mean, she's so pretty, and she makes my genitals feel really warm and nice, while the rest of my body screams in absolute pain.
Augh, conundrum'd.
Definitely TMI.
What are we gonna do, guys? We have to find another player! I am willing to take anyone at this point! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! I just got the bestest idea! I'll be right back! Anyone within reason.
Not that Lord Bolio guy.
You're right, fops are creepy.
Hey, guys.
Meet your new Guildmate.
You want me to game with you? Yeah, you said you wanted to do more stuff together! Well, yeah.
I was actually thinking, you know, salsa dancing.
Or couple's therapy.
Oh.
This is my husband, George.
But his avatar name is gonna be Mr.
Wiggly.
Clara! Oh, they won't know that's my name for it! Unless I hold open the mic like that.
Please? Uh, hi.
Clara's told me nothing about you, but I look forward to doing whatever it is you do together.
Uh, how much experience do you have gaming there, Wiggly? Uh, I played Pong as a kid.
This is in color, I see.
What's Pong? Uh, thanks, Wiggly, but we definitely need someone way more savvy.
I leave you alone for one second, and you run away from the stable? - Bad Horse! - Sweetiekins Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Ah! So I just came over to help Codex with some Guild business.
What business? Um, that's my bed.
So watch or leave.
Yeah, see, um We actually lost Tink, so we're down a player.
And uh, we You are? Want me to play with you, stallion? Um, okay, that sounds great, Mr.
Wiggly! Welcome to the Knights of Good! Sorry, we just filled the space.
Fine, Tink is moving on, the Knights of Good are moving on.
I just posted a call for video submissions for new Guild members on the official forums.
I know there are plenty of people just waiting to "align their Guild aspirations and play-styles with our own unique needs.
" I can't wait to be the one picking someone rather than someone picking me.
This way there's no way I can be rejected! I'm an ego-half-empty kind of girl.
Hello, Codex.
I am Lord Bolio, and this is my formal application to take part of your Guild.
I saw your Guild invitation Very interesting.
My name is Dominglum, but most guys just call me DG.
I'm looking to expand my horizons with a new guild.
My name is StrÿdëR: S-t-r-ÿ-d-ë-R.
We're conjoined twins.
We're not noobs.
I'm a fantastic team player.
And I have a lust for blood! Questing is one of my favorite things.
I am a wizard.
I wake up in the morning and say, "Where am I going to quest today?" I would kill to be part of your Guild literally.
My RL job is teaching high school trigonometry.
Boring! Are you ready to raid? I said, are you ready to raid? I, for one, am not a violent person But I am! Ahh! All right, this is Lord Bolio, signing off.
See you soon.
Please, pick us! Yeah, that was a buffet of humanity I wish I'd never had to sample.
Um, come on, a few of those applications looked okay.
The only opinion I will voice is I would not entrust any of them with a gun in the event of a domestic insurgence.
That's your measure of a Guild member? Really? You barely passed.
What's wrong with the guy who talked poetry? Is he a senator or something? One of these people has to do! We can't experience all the new expansion content without a full party! I want to play! Me too! Creepy whisper.
I'm in the closet hiding from my husband because we're supposed to be spending time together, but I don't know how to interact with him without a screen involved! Let's just find Tink and game! It's not gonna happen! She's not coming back! Moving on! I don't mean to criticize Then, don't! If you are not taking back Guild Leader, then don't say anything at all! Say something so that I can infer you're taking back this job now? Please? No.
In fact, I'm about to log off.
I can't conduct my internet business comfortably when I'm using a Wi-Fi access point named "Skuzz-Bucket-Lick-My-Pony-Butt".
"Skuzz-Bucket-Lick-My-Pony-Butt"? That's the first time I've laughed all day! Dena! Dena! God, I hate you! Hey, ex-girlfriend! I need some quick advice.
When you're using handcuffs while fooling around, right, um, you're not supposed to leave the person tied up outside all night? Pretty sure that's not cool sextiquette.
Um, other than some racy vampire literature I've read, no.
Good, okay.
Zaboo, if Riley's making you do things that make you uncomfortable No, no! Not at all.
She's I mean, she's so pretty, and she makes my genitals feel really warm and nice, while the rest of my body screams in absolute pain.
Augh, conundrum'd.
Definitely TMI.
What are we gonna do, guys? We have to find another player! I am willing to take anyone at this point! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! I just got the bestest idea! I'll be right back! Anyone within reason.
Not that Lord Bolio guy.
You're right, fops are creepy.
Hey, guys.
Meet your new Guildmate.
You want me to game with you? Yeah, you said you wanted to do more stuff together! Well, yeah.
I was actually thinking, you know, salsa dancing.
Or couple's therapy.
Oh.
This is my husband, George.
But his avatar name is gonna be Mr.
Wiggly.
Clara! Oh, they won't know that's my name for it! Unless I hold open the mic like that.
Please? Uh, hi.
Clara's told me nothing about you, but I look forward to doing whatever it is you do together.
Uh, how much experience do you have gaming there, Wiggly? Uh, I played Pong as a kid.
This is in color, I see.
What's Pong? Uh, thanks, Wiggly, but we definitely need someone way more savvy.
I leave you alone for one second, and you run away from the stable? - Bad Horse! - Sweetiekins Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Ah! So I just came over to help Codex with some Guild business.
What business? Um, that's my bed.
So watch or leave.
Yeah, see, um We actually lost Tink, so we're down a player.
And uh, we You are? Want me to play with you, stallion? Um, okay, that sounds great, Mr.
Wiggly! Welcome to the Knights of Good! Sorry, we just filled the space.