Leverage: Redemption (2021) s03e06 Episode Script
The Swipe Right Job
[SOPHIE CHUCKLES] Sounds terrifying.
Luckily I had some
protection. [CHUCKLES]
It was the last time I was in Vienna.
Did it leave a scar?
On my right thigh.
Show me, I dare you. [CHUCKLES]
- I am a gentleman.
- Huh.
And a gentleman never
dodges a ladies' request.
Name anything, I will oblige.
Well, tell me you got the ring back.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[GASPS] Ooh.
It's gorgeous.
It should be worn by someone
who matches its beauty.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
No. I can't accept.
Yes, yes. You can.
How did you get into the gem business?
My sister, she's my best friend.
She pushed me to pursue it.
I came from nothing and I built
an empire, all because of her.
Come out with me again this week.
I want to show you
one of my favorite places in Havana.
- Cuba?
- Why not?
I'll pick you up in my jet.
Maybe get in another
bar fight over that ring.
[CHUCKLES] I've always wanted to knock
someone out with a champagne bottle.
Well I've always wanted to defend
the honor of a woman who
can wield a champagne bottle.
Well, then. It's a date.
[BECKY] Dad, will you please
just show me your dating profile?
I wanna make sure you're
using the photos I picked.
Becky, I'm telling you,
it's already working.
I had a date tonight
with a very lovely woman
and I've got several more
that I'm waiting to court.
Court? Okay, please
never say that again.
I just wanna see you happy.
After everything that
went down with Mom
Promise me you'll try?
I promise. I love you.
I'll talk to you soon, okay.
Am I allowed to ask
how the courting went?
She ate the entire head of a fish.
- Ew. What? Wait, the whole
- The en
- The entire head of a fish, yes.
- [CHUCKLES]
The entire time she was
chewing that head of a fish,
she was staring
straight at me. Locked in.
Well, pour me a double.
My date was even fishier,
if you can imagine.
Oh, no. Thought you liked him.
Mmm. One might even say it was
the best first date I've ever had.
- But
- It was fake, all of it.
From the ring on his finger.
When you breathe on a real sapphire,
well, the fog clears almost instantly.
This one stayed cloudy
for five seconds. Fake.
There's a huge difference
between money and wealth.
A rich man wants you
to see that he's rich.
A wealthy man, he prides himself
on discretion. The money's implied.
He's a catfish.
Yes. And he set a lure
for a business deal.
The gem business can be very profitable.
And I do make sure
that my special friends
get to see any
opportunities to invest.
The man is a liar and a predator.
And I bet he's left a trail
of victims in his wake.
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
The entire head you say?
- Oh, yeah. Don't, don't.
- [CHUCKLES]
Okay. Neal Trivedi, aged 53, a
self-swindled millionaire from Mumbai.
This guy became a millionaire
by pretending to be billionaire?
Exactly. Well, he pretended to be
a gem mogul on Hartfield,
which is a no hookups dating app.
It's like serious relationships only.
Neal plays the tycoon
to lure in his victims
and then cons them
out of thousands of dollars.
Sometimes offering business investments.
Yes, but also, new twist.
For the victims he's really hooked,
he says he needs protection from
his enemies that
are after his fortune,
and they pay to protect him
from people who don't exist.
[STAMMERING] It's your basic
romance con. You
act like you're strong
and when you ask for help, your
victims think they're strong as well.
He's slick. Yeah, all his messages
are handcrafted, personalized.
That's how he got
through the algorithm
I have watching Sophie's matches.
[STUTTERS] You've been doing what, now?
It, uh, um. L-Looking
out for your heart.
Anyway, um, yeah. This guy
runs his entire operation by hand
and to top it all off,
here are the matches.
[REMOTE BEEPS]
Oh, yeah. No,
he's an equal-opportunity swindler.
[SOPHIE] Use his financials.
See which of his victims
he took for the most money.
If we're gonna land a catfish
I want the most tempting bait.
[BREANNA] Mmm.
I have never been so mad
at myself for trusting a man.
How much did he take from you?
All of my savings.
The money I've hoarded
since college? Gone.
Five months of my
life wasted on that guy.
Neal Trivedi is the devil.
Neal Trivedi isn't a con man.
He's the love of my life.
And you never thought is strange
how often he asks for money.
All of his assets are tied up
in the business.
Uh, he doesn't have
a lot of liquid cash.
Uh, sometimes he needs funds to
hire protection against his enemies.
I mean, the gem business
is very dangerous.
- Roger
- No.
Neal paid for my mother's funeral.
Uh. I'm an accountant.
I don't have much money.
And honestly not a lot of friends.
He was there for me
during my time of need.
If he needs my help sometimes
Well, that's just what love is.
He took me to Amsterdam
for our last date.
And that's when I confronted him
about the money he owed me.
- And?
- He refused to pay me back.
So, I stole a ton of money
and jewelry from his house.
But when we got back to the States,
it turns out it was all counterfeit.
So, US customs kept me in holding
for 24 hours straight.
[SCOFFS] I still have the stuff.
For all the good it'll do me.
Please. My enemies have caught up to me.
S-Send the money. [CRIES]
How did you get this?
He sent this to me last month.
He sent this video, the same video,
to another one of his victims,
eight months ago.
Roger, the man is scamming you.
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
I promise I'll pay you back.
[SIGHS]
[TYPING]
It's okay if my choke hold was
too hard, you can just admit it.
This Neal guy. He is the
scum of the scum of the earth.
Double scum.
People like Roger, a-a lot of us, right,
we've had to hide who
we are for our whole lives.
And then Neal comes along
and takes advantage of a guy
when he's at his most vulnerable.
Yeah. He's the worst.
Exactly.
Speaking of, those are the
worst fake injuries ever seen.
That's corn syrup and red dye 40.
Hey, Roger left.
I don't think he's convinced
even after seeing the video.
Neal got his hooks deep into that guy.
These apps really seem to
make things harder, not easier.
Dating apps are stupid in general.
Just meet somebody in real life.
Really?
And how did you happen
to meet your partners, Eliot?
The woman you're dating now?
In the ER getting
stitched up after a fight.
And the one before that?
In the ER getting
stitched up after a fight.
And before that?
During a fight.
Compared to you lot, I'm the expert.
Now, we run this old-school.
Con versus con.
Pack your bags for Havana.
Let's go steal a dream date.
Oh.
Yeah, I don't think this is the Louis
Armstrong International Airport.
[CHUCKLES, MINNESOTAN ACCENT]
Oh, excuse me, sir. We're lost.
Sure. What flight?
[GASPS] Wha Are
you Edgar Allen Wright?
[GASPS]
Your wife told us
we'd find you at the airport.
Oh, silly us, we were thinking it
was the Louis Armstrong New Orleans
- International Airport.
- International Airport. So.
My wife? [CHUCKLES] You know my wife?
Well, we met her, she actually
asked us to give you these.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You've been served.
Served? For what?
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, no. He doesn't know.
It's a doozy, Ed.
Marilyn knows all about your affairs.
All of 'em.
Cecelia from Hawaii.
- Jaya from Dubai.
- [ELIOT WHISTLES]
Olezka from Russia.
[EXHALES] How did she
[STAMMERS] Oof. I gotta go call her.
- [ELIOT] You go. Call her.
- [PARKER] Mm-hmm.
Just arrived. Neal's meeting
me here, wheels up in ten.
My cover story ready?
Yep. I contacted a firm I worked with
in Myanmar to draw up the contracts
so the con will work on both ends.
You are, uh, the majority shareholder
in a small but thriving
Cesario family mining enterprise.
The mark's posing as a gem mogul.
Best con is to trick him deeper
into the lie he's already playing.
[BREANNA] So, we snag the private jet,
we take all the money
he flashes to run his con
and then we pay back as
many victims as we can find.
As long as you think it's safe.
It's Cuba, you know.
Neal has a summer home in Havana.
He could be keeping hard assets there.
I need Parker and Eliot with me.
You found a way for them to come, yes?
Yes. But w-we may have ran into
some trouble with Eliot's cover story.
Neal only has two people
on his inner circle
- that we could clear out.
- So there's Nikolev,
the bodyguard whose shirts look
far to tight to be comfortable.
Neal's shadow. That's too conspicuous.
That only leaves the
pilot.
Oh, no. Please tell me
that Eliot's actually flown a plane.
Uh
Technically no.
But he is in the cockpit
studying up right now.
"Studying up"?
You must be Violet.
I'm Neal's sister, Reena.
Reena, what a pleasure.
Neal's already in Havana,
handling some business.
I'll be accompanying you instead.
If that's all right.
Come.
Neal has told me so much about you.
[SOPHIE] Huh.
[ELIOT, ON SPEAKER] Good afternoon,
everybody, this is
your captain speaking.
Um, expect some turbulent air
for a lot of the flight.
Takeoff might be a little bumpy.
Uh, landing, that's gonna be rough.
Might wanna strap in.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'm
really so pleased to meet you.
Neal is very picky about
the people he brings around.
Well, the feeling's mutual.
Your brother's quite the gentleman.
[SCOFFS] He's annoyingly perfect.
Humble. Way too smart to argue with.
You two seem close.
[INHALES DEEPLY] We cut off ties
with our parents when we were young.
He started working, I went to college.
And they approved of nothing we did.
You work for him now?
With him. Yes. [CHUCKLES]
I manage all of his savings.
A sizable amount,
but nothing I can't handle.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- [PHONE BUZZING, RINGING]
[SIGHS] Hmm.
[SPEAKING HINDI]
[SIGHS]
I'll be right back.
[SPEAKS HINDI]
Neal sends his sister in
to put his victims at ease.
No wonder their defenses are down.
But how real was that story?
A real gold coating, rotten core.
Probably some truth in it, though.
[REENA] Mmm.
[GASPS]
[ALARM BEEPING, STOPS]
Oof. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh!
- Ah!
Enjoy. [CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Ladies.
Brother.
[KISSES]
I'm gonna handle some business.
Enjoy your lunch.
Don't screw up. She's special.
[NEAL] Violet.
The restaurant has quite the view.
The penthouse?
Even better. You'll see.
- [SOPHIE] Oh.
- [NEAL CHUCKLES]
[SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Ooh, my.
[NEAL] Mm-hmm.
[SOPHIE] Wha Uh.
200,000 gallons of salt water.
The whole restaurant is built around it.
[SOPHIE SIGHS]
But I was thinking
something a bit more intimate.
[GASPS] Oh.
[GASPING] What
Wow. [CHUCKLES]
I hope Reena didn't
hard sell me too much.
She's eager for me to settle down.
She's sweet.
Uh, you're both very impressive.
Especially having been estranged
from your parents at such a young age.
They would have preferred
that we never left home.
Just stayed and took
over their laundry service.
Reena and I needed to find
our own way in the world.
[DOOR OPENS]
Ah. Thank you.
Champagne.
For our bar fight.
Although, I don't think we'll need it.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I know the investors.
They let me rent out the entire place,
just in case any of my enemies
made an unwanted appearance.
It's why I had to send in Nikolev first.
I can't imagine.
Always having to watch your back.
Never knowing who to trust.
It can be harrowing. [CHUCKLES]
But if it allows me alone time
with a woman such as yourself,
- it has its perks.
- [CHUCKLES]
I was wondering,
given your success as a businessman,
if I could ask you some advice.
You know, I've been thinking a lot
about dating nowadays.
This should be good.
And Sophie and Harry are really
smart and they get the emotion stuff.
And they know how to
talk to people about it.
And even they're having trouble.
So?
So, these apps are the enemy.
They're thoughtless, joyless,
and our friends are [INHALES
SHARPLY] powerless against them.
I mean, I'm in a great relationship,
but would I even be in it if it were
up to those swiping machines?
She's what? A British woman?
She showed you a video
and said what? About my brother?
We are in trouble.
Nah, I mean. Me, you, Hardison,
pfft that's fine.
- That's working.
- No [STUTTERS] trouble there.
[REENA] Of course, it's not true.
She's trying to hurt my brother.
I'll go warn him right now.
Sophie. Reena incoming.
- [SIGHS]
- Sophie?
She can't hear us.
The walls.
They're built with ferro-cement.
[STAMMERING] When you put wire
and mesh in between concrete, okay?
It's built to withstand hurricane.
And what, you're more
of a cement purist?
No I We can't use comms
in here, Parker. Okay?
Every room in this hotel
is a Faraday cage.
It's a very distinctive cement.
A ruby mine in Myanmar? [CHUCKLES]
Yes, yes. I absolutely
think I can help.
My mother, really. It was her company.
But she's heard me
speak so highly of you.
You told her about me?
Well
we're serious, aren't we?
As As serious as you want to be.
It would take me
a little while to raise
some of the capital but I absolu
[SIGHS] Excuse me, Violet. [CHUCKLES]
Reena [SPEAKS
HINDI] I told you not to
[REENA] Didn't Roger say the
woman asking about us is British?
I swear the stewardess from my flight
with Violet has been following me.
Violet is the British woman.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[SUCKS TEETH]
I just heard the most interesting story.
[ELIOT] Hmm.
Looks like backup has arrived.
Looks like we have a date to crash.
All right. We got to get past
the guards. Find a way in.
[IN SPANISH] Good day, gentlemen.
I am the manager of the hotel.
[IN SPANISH] This is private property.
[GRUNTING]
Go. Go.
No, you don't!
You were good. You were very believable.
Who hired you?
Was it one of the women?
They're always the most irrational.
Claire? Or was it Leena?
You can't best me, Violet.
I have built an empire.
Oh, Neal. You're hilarious.
We both know your gems are fake.
Oh, I'm not talking about gems.
I'm talking about lovers. Less
precious, perhaps, but far more loyal.
And one of them just called my
sister to report a possible threat.
A British woman.
Brunette. Impeccable jawline.
[MUTTERS]
[INHALES SHARPLY] It's so funny,
I've been going on and on and on
about my enemies finding me here
when one of them was right
in front of me the entire time.
So, here is what's going to happen.
Um [CHUCKLES]
Stay down here, as long as you'd like.
Finish your champagne.
And then two of my friends,
of Nikolev's actually,
are going to pick you up
and hand you over to the local police,
with whom I have a
very close relationship.
Goodbye, Violet.
[DOOR OPENS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Roger. Reena told me what you did.
You saved my life.
I'm going to repay you.
I love you, Roger.
I love you, my love.
Ugh.
Does he require you not to talk,
afraid you'll embarrass him?
- [GUNSHOT]
- Mmm.
That'll be my rescue.
Very smart of them though,
to use guns in a room full
of 200,000 gallons of water.
Oops. One of the windows
must have cracked.
It's just a little puddle now,
but soon enough the pressure of all
that water on broken glass and boom.
There is a bright side, though.
Maybe we'll drown
before the sharks get us.
Oh, and Neal's safe, of course,
he's definitely not coming back.
Oh, not that way.
You'll never get out in time. This way.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[EXCLAIMS]
The gunshots.
Parker. It's an '82.
Mmm.
[GRUNTING]
How How exactly did you guys all
I have a buddy who's a smuggler.
We got a ride on his boat.
Put in the hold, with shrimp.
Covered in shrimp.
Oh, man. I really wanted to
fly that plane on the way home.
- You can't just fly a plane, Parker.
- I know how to fly.
Huh. I learned for an
airport heist in 2005.
Why did you let me fly us to Cuba?
'Cause flying's fun.
And I wanted you to have fun.
Anyway, we're back at square one.
The three of us are burned.
That's not even the real kicker.
Our small-town accountant
just got a new client.
Roger's now Neal's new money manager,
in charge of his nest egg,
which is worth about
three million dollars.
And Neal rewarded Roger for his loyalty
without actually letting
him in on the con.
That's a mistake.
Look, if we can't convince
Roger that Neal's a fraud,
then maybe we can get him to follow
the money and
figure it out for himself.
In the meantime, we have
to bait him with a new catch.
Well, I can trick the
Hartfield algorithm
and rig the potential matches
that show up on Neal's end,
but there is no way
I can make that guy swipe right.
You know, we could just break his hand.
You know what I mean?
Have some gentle male nurse swipe
right for him while he's recovering.
No. We can't coerce him.
Love isn't meant to be forced.
I just said gentle, didn't I? What?
I thought this guy was about money?
[SOPHIE] I don't think so.
The money's relevant,
but he may be in this
for something deeper.
So, he wants the total package.
Who could we even try sending in
to replace Sophie Devereaux?
[HARRY BLOWING]
What? Me? [CHUCKLES] You guys
I'm honored.
Ah. All right, Harry.
Let's see what you've got.
I bought it in Paris. Not bad, huh?
Oh, Harry, my Harry.
It needs, um, swagger. We need rizz.
Where do you buy rizz?
No. You do not buy rizz.
Rizz is within. You reveal it.
Oh, my dream's coming true.
It's time for a makeover montage.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [HARRY SIGHS]
We don't have time for a montage.
[BREANNA] A fish pic.
Seriously? Harry? Right off the bat?
I think it's pretty good.
I think it says, you know, I'm a catch.
Absolutely not.
And why are you
pretending to be, like,
5 inches shorter
than you actually are?
'Cause I read somewhere
that short kings are in right now.
All right. Well. You need to forget
everything you thought you knew.
Now, you're Arthur Bennet.
Public interest lawyer.
An old money, Big Easy native
who's lived in Louisiana
since beignets were invented.
[SCOFFS] Got this.
Harry, the clothes are not gonna
help unless you believe in yourself.
You mean, "Believe in Arthur Bennet."
[SOPHIE] No.
This isn't about putting
on Arthur like a suit
because the real Harry isn't enough.
In the long con,
it's about finding
those parts of yourself,
confidence, style, compassion,
the vulnerability you already have,
and giving them voice.
It's just easier sometimes to
speak that voice as another person.
With another name.
As Arthur.
Look, Harry Wilson had his heart broken
and for a while,
he was really hard on himself.
More than he deserved.
[STAMMERS] I think I had
I think I had it about right.
Let your Arthur Bennet
just carry you for a while.
And if you're lucky,
when he steps back,
you get to hold on
to all his strengths.
Your strengths
you didn't even know you had.
You know what just occurred to me?
I don't know if Sophie Devereaux
is your real name.
[SOPHIE] Hmm.
No.
Right?
[PARKER] I am convinced.
We have to save normal
dating from these apps.
Parker, you don't even
understand normal dating.
Neither do you.
I Sure I do. Normal dating.
You meet someone, you talk. All right?
You share interests.
And then maybe you're shipped off
to a war zone
and you don't get to talk
to that person that much anymore.
Maybe you meet somebody else.
Maybe you meet
somebody in the war zone.
Yeah, and you share interests.
Then maybe you go
off on a rescue mission
and that relationships
ends up [STAMMERS]
When I say it out loud,
it may not be a universal experience,
but the d the dating
apps are not the problem.
- They are our real parents, Eliot.
- You
Machines.
I mean, think about it.
If algorithms are
deciding who we date,
then algorithms are
breeding our children.
[SIGHS] Don't you get it?
I mean, when you put it like that
But it
- Yeah. I talked to Hardison last night.
- Mmm.
He is on board with this.
He was all, "Yeah. Sure, babe."
Like, a lot.
He thinks we have to take down
these dating apps once and for all.
To set humanity free.
Oh! There he is.
All right.
We're ready for you.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREANNA] Oh.
[SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]
- Yeah.
Here, let me.
[PHONE WHOOSHES]
[SIGHS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
Would you look at that?
Neal and Arthur are a match.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Roger. FBI.
I'm Special Agent Dinero.
This is Special Agent Pound.
May we come in?
[ELIOT] We've been tracking
a large sum of money.
It was transferred from an account
that was set up in Mumbai.
Did you or did you not
recently take control of an
estate in the last 22 hours?
Um, uh, yes, but I-I know the man
- that gave me access to that
- Thank you.
And did you or did you not know that
that money may have
been obtained illegally?
Let me ask you something, Roger.
You ever heard of the sink?
The soak? The spin?
[SIGHS] Money laundering?
No, a-absolutely not.
I have a paper trail for this
money, leading back to a billionaire.
And are you sure it's all his?
Oh, my God. What if it's [STAMMERS]
Uh, his sister I bet, uh, she's
laundering money behind his back.
I can warn him. Oh. [GASPS]
You see, I would double-check first.
Because if you do warn him,
and he ends up being guilty,
well, you could be
implicated as an accomplice.
Which is good for us, but bad for you.
So, he just gave you the keys to the
city and then never
contacted you again?
Mm-mmm. He contacted me.
[STAMMERS] Wouldn't leave me alone.
In fact, I had to get my lawyer
to file a restraining order.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You really are royalty in this city,
aren't you?
Well, I, um, would love to
show you around New Orleans.
I'd love to, uh, give you
the full NOLA experience.
[CHUCKLES]
[BECKY] Dad?
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
Would you excuse me just for one second?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Ah.
- Becky!
- I am so sorry. I'm gonna go.
No, no, no, no. What
you just saw isn't
what you saw.
Unless, of course, it is.
- But it isn't what you think.
- Dad. Dad, stop.
I'm so happy that you're
finally on a good date.
I was here applying for a job
and then I saw the way
that you two were
looking at each other
and I can't believe
I ruined it for you.
Oh, hey. First of all, no.
You couldn't ruin anything ever. Uh
It just makes so much sense now.
And I mean, I knew that there was
a reason that you couldn't be, like,
emotionally available
to any of your partners.
[SIGHS] Yeah. [STAMMERS]
Did Your mom said that?
And I think you mentioned, like,
maybe one or two things
happening during Mardi Gras.
I Actually, that was a long time ago,
before you were born.
I don't remember
telling you about that.
Hey. You need to get
back to your date. Okay?
But call to debrief later. All right?
I'm so proud of you.
I love you so much.
Oh.
Uh. Huh.
Uh, guys, Neal's gone. I-I just lost
Neal. I think I blew it.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
- Neal.
- [NEAL] Hi.
I just came to make sure
everything was all right,
but then I couldn't help but overhear
the conversation you had
with your daughter.
Yeah.
It was beautiful. I, uh
I wish I could've had
a moment like that with my parents.
Come. Our first course
is just about to be served.
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE CHIMING]
Sixty-six text messages.
He's asking what kind of cars I like.
And he just left a voicemail.
Well, don't get too excited. These
kind of guys move on very quickly.
Someone left these for
Arthur outside his PO box.
God, he moves so fast.
He knows I love roses. [CHUCKLES]
I have to say thank you.
No, no. No, no. [STAMMERS]
We have the upper hand.
You need to play hard to get.
But he's been texting me all night
and I haven't responded. That's rude.
[GASPS] Is this what it
feels like to be pursued?
[REMOTE BEEPS]
Please don't make me
feel bad for you right now.
- Okay.
- What is that?
[BREANNA] Feast your eyes on this.
Arthur's land. Gorgeous.
Unspoiled. Total package.
Step two. We got Neal to open the
box. This is the secret prize inside.
Neal-Neal's calling me right now.
- Neal's calling me right now.
- Oh.
What do I What
do I What do I Here.
I can't answer.
[LAUGHS] Come on.
What would Arthur Bennet do?
Seize the moment.
[NEAL] Arthur, hi.
Hey, you. Long time no see.
Look, I know that I've been texting
a lot and there is a very real chance
that I am coming off as
a crazy person right now,
- but I only wanted to
- Hey. Wh
- Uh, to-to take you to a
- Uh, you know what I wanna do?
I wanna I want I would like
to take you to some place special.
What exactly did you
have in mind? [CHUCKLES]
My parents loved it here.
This was our second summer home.
And our fourth winter home.
Mostly it's just storage
now that they've passed.
It is not every day that I
get to walk these grounds
with someone so special.
Guys!
It was so nice of you
to invite me along, Arthur.
I don't remember him
inviting you actually.
Got a little bit of lunch prepared.
I'm just gonna take a final
look around and then I'll head in.
Uh, a final look?
Yes, this is my last day here.
I'm donating all this land
at the end of the week.
Just, uh, giving it away?
This land was bought and
operated with plantation money.
And that makes me sick to think about.
Now, I wanna give it
back to the community.
Maybe start an artist colony. [CHUCKLES]
Plus, there's so much
untapped oil under the ground
- [PHONE RINGING]
- I just don't wanna deal with.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [HARRY] Excuse me.
Mr. Windyneck. For the last time,
I'm not interested in selling.
This little slice of heaven will
never be one of your casinos, sir.
Our world-famous beignets.
Arthur, we should go shopping together.
I want to treat you after
you've treated us today.
[LAUGHS]
First, we should talk about
the land that Arthur's giving up.
Must be very, uh, emotional for him.
Yes. Yes, it is. I'll miss it very much.
Arthur, tell us about
your childhood here.
Oh. Mom and Pop and I
would ride every summer morning.
But he brought us out here,
dear brother, to show us the land.
As a businessman, wouldn't
you agree that a trusted third party
could maintain it better than the state?
Arthur, open up.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
May I speak with you? In private.
[NEAL SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT]
Uh-oh.
One minute.
- God, what the hell are you doing?
- [SCOFFS]
We could buy the land and triple
our money if we seal the deal.
You're literally sabotaging it.
If he wants to give it to the state,
that's his decision, no?
Do you hear yourself? You sound like
you're in love with
the guy or something.
Tell me you aren't.
Love is a strong word.
I would say, "Like."
A lot.
And what's so bad about that, huh?
We don't play the long game.
"We"? Who is we?
This is my operation.
And I have everything planned out.
Arthur and I will have a quaint
little wedding in Maryland.
And then, Arthur will die in a tragic
and mysterious accident.
And I will inherit all of his millions.
[INHALES SHARPLY] The funeral
will be close family only.
You may be the pretty face
that lures people in,
but I'm the one who catches them.
I took our first dollar
and made it into millions.
You never touched a dime.
- [NEAL CHUCKLES]
- [REENA SCOFFS]
You're so lucky
Mommy isn't here right now.
Because even while she was beating us,
she'd have the clarity to admit
that you couldn't do this without me.
[MOUTHING WORDS] All right.
[SPEAKS HINDI]
I am texting Roger to tell him to
lock you out of all of our accounts.
- [PHONE BEEPS]
- [REENA SCREAMS]
[SIGHS]
Um, am I gonna have to marry this guy?
Harry, deep breaths.
We're not finished yet.
What about the, uh, uh, Ugly Duckling?
Or, uh, a reversed Twelfth Night?
No. Harry had his Cinderella moment.
[GASPS] But there's always what
happens after the happily ever after.
[SIGHS] I think he's
coming back. [LAUGHS]
Harry, the clock struck midnight. It's
time to tell him who you really are.
Say this.
Well, I'm sorry your sister
had to leave us so early.
Don't be. We're finally alone.
I like you, Arthur. I feel like
I can be my true self with you.
I feel the exact same way.
I've waited a long
time to find someone
that can love me unconditionally.
Which is why I feel like
I have to be honest
and say that I am not the
man that you think I am.
Not anymore, anyway.
This land is my only asset.
I have given away everything that
was bought with my
family's dirty money.
I wanna start fresh.
- Everything?
- Yes.
- All the houses?
- Yes!
- The yacht?
- Yes.
- The jetpack?
- All of it. It's all gone.
You and I could live a life that is
totally unencumbered by money.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, what if
Uh, just a thought.
I-I buy this land
and I maintain it for you.
You may want it back someday
and I would take good care of it.
Get in.
[EXHALES]
Twenty million dollars. That's my price.
Pennies for someone
as wealthy as you, Arthur Bennet.
And then I'll be on my way.
On my jet. With my money.
Reena, wait. You don't understand.
[GROANS, COUGHS] Nikolev.
He's my bodyguard now.
You don't talk to him anymore.
Just transfer the money, Arthur.
- Arthur doesn't have the money!
- [LAUGHS]
[NEAL] He gave everything away!
That's impossible.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Arthur?
[SIGHS]
Oh, no. [SIGHS] Oh, no. This can't be.
You did this!
Okay, okay. Let's-Let's
not do anything
irrational. [BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GROANS] Oh, my God. [COUGHS]
Someone's gonna give me my money!
[NEAL CRYING]
And if it's not going to be Arthur
- Huh?
- Fine, fine! Fine! Fine!
I-I can get your money! [SOBS]
Our three million.
Just-Just let me call Roger. [PANTS]
Roger, yeah. Roger.
- Roger.
- [DIALING]
[LINE RINGS]
Oh, oh. Roger. Roger, thank God.
My enemies have caught up to me.
I need you to transfer
three million dollars
into Reena's account.
I promise, more money
is coming to replace it.
Really? You need me
to transfer money? How original.
Roger, they-they have a gun
pointed to my head!
Look. Look at my face.
[SOBBING] I'm bleeding.
Oh, what is it this time?
A dye or pasta sauce?
Roger! It's blood!
I followed the money
and it led me to the truth.
You're never gonna pay me back.
And you're
And you're never gonna love me.
No! This-This is This is This
is a life or death situation. [SOBS]
It's gonna be lonely,
but I'm gonna have to love myself.
Goodbye, Neal.
[STAMMERS] No! Oh. [BREATHING HEAVILY]
Arthur, please tell me you still have
some of that dirty money stashed away.
Neal, I don't even have my zip tie.
[GRUNTING]
Reena! Take me with you.
You proved yourself, okay? I was wrong!
Find your own way home, Neal!
I saved you once!
I am begging you to return the favor!
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Thank you.
Thank you. Oh, my God. All right.
Go.
- [NIKOLEV GROANS]
- Ah. [INHALES SHARPLY] Oh.
Can't believe it. They're getting away.
[SPEAKING HINDI]
[LAUGHS]
- No, Harry.
- Don't play with that.
Do you have anything to declare?
I stole a ton of money
and jewelry from his house.
And turns out it was all counterfeit.
I still have the stuff.
It's always nice to return stolen things
to their rightful owner.
[REENA] Oh, no.
No, no. These aren't mine.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]
- They're his!
They're in your bag! You hid them there!
These are your little props!
- They are ours! [GRUNTS]
- No
No They are hers!
[SPEAKING HINDI]
No, no, no, no! Let go of me!
Neal's back in Mumbai
on the No Fly List
and he can't do this
to anyone ever again.
- Thanks to you.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
When you called last week,
I didn't want to answer.
Talking to you finally gave me
the courage to end things.
[SIGHS] I'm just so ashamed
that he fooled me.
Roger, love is blinding.
I-I actually wish I was more like you.
I lost a great love.
And now, I'm so quick to
hone in on every red flag.
The moment I spot
an imperfection, I bolt.
You love people despite their flaws,
and I admire that.
Well, I'll keep trying if you will.
It's a deal.
[CHUCKLES]
What do you think?
Still wanna destroy all the dating apps?
No. I talked to Hardison last night
and he was all, "Sure, babe."
Like, lots again.
And we just decided we're gonna
create our own dating app, you know?
We're gonna make the machine parents
instead of them making us.
[GASPS] I need to
go call him right away.
I just thought of the
perfect name for it.
Hmm? Dad, look. Mother of two.
Likes to dance. Ah, fish allergy.
Oh! Okay, that's perfect.
Swipe right on that.
See? All you needed was my help.
- Yeah.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- Bye.
- [SOPHIE] Bye.
sync & corrections by awaqeded
The last thing you wanna do around here
is piss off the mayor.
How about we add an even grand
to get your car outta hock?
There must be a town council
who can just rein him in?
[RESIDENT] Get their vote
on the Gillon town council.
- Jack.
- Sophie.
I called an emergency meeting
to elect a new mayor.
Find these interlopers and figure out
what the hell they're up to.
What are you up to, long hair?
I'm trying to open up
a checking account.
Little message from the mayor.
[GRUNTING]
Let's go steal a town.
[BELLS RINGING]
Luckily I had some
protection. [CHUCKLES]
It was the last time I was in Vienna.
Did it leave a scar?
On my right thigh.
Show me, I dare you. [CHUCKLES]
- I am a gentleman.
- Huh.
And a gentleman never
dodges a ladies' request.
Name anything, I will oblige.
Well, tell me you got the ring back.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[GASPS] Ooh.
It's gorgeous.
It should be worn by someone
who matches its beauty.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
No. I can't accept.
Yes, yes. You can.
How did you get into the gem business?
My sister, she's my best friend.
She pushed me to pursue it.
I came from nothing and I built
an empire, all because of her.
Come out with me again this week.
I want to show you
one of my favorite places in Havana.
- Cuba?
- Why not?
I'll pick you up in my jet.
Maybe get in another
bar fight over that ring.
[CHUCKLES] I've always wanted to knock
someone out with a champagne bottle.
Well I've always wanted to defend
the honor of a woman who
can wield a champagne bottle.
Well, then. It's a date.
[BECKY] Dad, will you please
just show me your dating profile?
I wanna make sure you're
using the photos I picked.
Becky, I'm telling you,
it's already working.
I had a date tonight
with a very lovely woman
and I've got several more
that I'm waiting to court.
Court? Okay, please
never say that again.
I just wanna see you happy.
After everything that
went down with Mom
Promise me you'll try?
I promise. I love you.
I'll talk to you soon, okay.
Am I allowed to ask
how the courting went?
She ate the entire head of a fish.
- Ew. What? Wait, the whole
- The en
- The entire head of a fish, yes.
- [CHUCKLES]
The entire time she was
chewing that head of a fish,
she was staring
straight at me. Locked in.
Well, pour me a double.
My date was even fishier,
if you can imagine.
Oh, no. Thought you liked him.
Mmm. One might even say it was
the best first date I've ever had.
- But
- It was fake, all of it.
From the ring on his finger.
When you breathe on a real sapphire,
well, the fog clears almost instantly.
This one stayed cloudy
for five seconds. Fake.
There's a huge difference
between money and wealth.
A rich man wants you
to see that he's rich.
A wealthy man, he prides himself
on discretion. The money's implied.
He's a catfish.
Yes. And he set a lure
for a business deal.
The gem business can be very profitable.
And I do make sure
that my special friends
get to see any
opportunities to invest.
The man is a liar and a predator.
And I bet he's left a trail
of victims in his wake.
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
The entire head you say?
- Oh, yeah. Don't, don't.
- [CHUCKLES]
Okay. Neal Trivedi, aged 53, a
self-swindled millionaire from Mumbai.
This guy became a millionaire
by pretending to be billionaire?
Exactly. Well, he pretended to be
a gem mogul on Hartfield,
which is a no hookups dating app.
It's like serious relationships only.
Neal plays the tycoon
to lure in his victims
and then cons them
out of thousands of dollars.
Sometimes offering business investments.
Yes, but also, new twist.
For the victims he's really hooked,
he says he needs protection from
his enemies that
are after his fortune,
and they pay to protect him
from people who don't exist.
[STAMMERING] It's your basic
romance con. You
act like you're strong
and when you ask for help, your
victims think they're strong as well.
He's slick. Yeah, all his messages
are handcrafted, personalized.
That's how he got
through the algorithm
I have watching Sophie's matches.
[STUTTERS] You've been doing what, now?
It, uh, um. L-Looking
out for your heart.
Anyway, um, yeah. This guy
runs his entire operation by hand
and to top it all off,
here are the matches.
[REMOTE BEEPS]
Oh, yeah. No,
he's an equal-opportunity swindler.
[SOPHIE] Use his financials.
See which of his victims
he took for the most money.
If we're gonna land a catfish
I want the most tempting bait.
[BREANNA] Mmm.
I have never been so mad
at myself for trusting a man.
How much did he take from you?
All of my savings.
The money I've hoarded
since college? Gone.
Five months of my
life wasted on that guy.
Neal Trivedi is the devil.
Neal Trivedi isn't a con man.
He's the love of my life.
And you never thought is strange
how often he asks for money.
All of his assets are tied up
in the business.
Uh, he doesn't have
a lot of liquid cash.
Uh, sometimes he needs funds to
hire protection against his enemies.
I mean, the gem business
is very dangerous.
- Roger
- No.
Neal paid for my mother's funeral.
Uh. I'm an accountant.
I don't have much money.
And honestly not a lot of friends.
He was there for me
during my time of need.
If he needs my help sometimes
Well, that's just what love is.
He took me to Amsterdam
for our last date.
And that's when I confronted him
about the money he owed me.
- And?
- He refused to pay me back.
So, I stole a ton of money
and jewelry from his house.
But when we got back to the States,
it turns out it was all counterfeit.
So, US customs kept me in holding
for 24 hours straight.
[SCOFFS] I still have the stuff.
For all the good it'll do me.
Please. My enemies have caught up to me.
S-Send the money. [CRIES]
How did you get this?
He sent this to me last month.
He sent this video, the same video,
to another one of his victims,
eight months ago.
Roger, the man is scamming you.
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
I promise I'll pay you back.
[SIGHS]
[TYPING]
It's okay if my choke hold was
too hard, you can just admit it.
This Neal guy. He is the
scum of the scum of the earth.
Double scum.
People like Roger, a-a lot of us, right,
we've had to hide who
we are for our whole lives.
And then Neal comes along
and takes advantage of a guy
when he's at his most vulnerable.
Yeah. He's the worst.
Exactly.
Speaking of, those are the
worst fake injuries ever seen.
That's corn syrup and red dye 40.
Hey, Roger left.
I don't think he's convinced
even after seeing the video.
Neal got his hooks deep into that guy.
These apps really seem to
make things harder, not easier.
Dating apps are stupid in general.
Just meet somebody in real life.
Really?
And how did you happen
to meet your partners, Eliot?
The woman you're dating now?
In the ER getting
stitched up after a fight.
And the one before that?
In the ER getting
stitched up after a fight.
And before that?
During a fight.
Compared to you lot, I'm the expert.
Now, we run this old-school.
Con versus con.
Pack your bags for Havana.
Let's go steal a dream date.
Oh.
Yeah, I don't think this is the Louis
Armstrong International Airport.
[CHUCKLES, MINNESOTAN ACCENT]
Oh, excuse me, sir. We're lost.
Sure. What flight?
[GASPS] Wha Are
you Edgar Allen Wright?
[GASPS]
Your wife told us
we'd find you at the airport.
Oh, silly us, we were thinking it
was the Louis Armstrong New Orleans
- International Airport.
- International Airport. So.
My wife? [CHUCKLES] You know my wife?
Well, we met her, she actually
asked us to give you these.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You've been served.
Served? For what?
[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, no. He doesn't know.
It's a doozy, Ed.
Marilyn knows all about your affairs.
All of 'em.
Cecelia from Hawaii.
- Jaya from Dubai.
- [ELIOT WHISTLES]
Olezka from Russia.
[EXHALES] How did she
[STAMMERS] Oof. I gotta go call her.
- [ELIOT] You go. Call her.
- [PARKER] Mm-hmm.
Just arrived. Neal's meeting
me here, wheels up in ten.
My cover story ready?
Yep. I contacted a firm I worked with
in Myanmar to draw up the contracts
so the con will work on both ends.
You are, uh, the majority shareholder
in a small but thriving
Cesario family mining enterprise.
The mark's posing as a gem mogul.
Best con is to trick him deeper
into the lie he's already playing.
[BREANNA] So, we snag the private jet,
we take all the money
he flashes to run his con
and then we pay back as
many victims as we can find.
As long as you think it's safe.
It's Cuba, you know.
Neal has a summer home in Havana.
He could be keeping hard assets there.
I need Parker and Eliot with me.
You found a way for them to come, yes?
Yes. But w-we may have ran into
some trouble with Eliot's cover story.
Neal only has two people
on his inner circle
- that we could clear out.
- So there's Nikolev,
the bodyguard whose shirts look
far to tight to be comfortable.
Neal's shadow. That's too conspicuous.
That only leaves the
pilot.
Oh, no. Please tell me
that Eliot's actually flown a plane.
Uh
Technically no.
But he is in the cockpit
studying up right now.
"Studying up"?
You must be Violet.
I'm Neal's sister, Reena.
Reena, what a pleasure.
Neal's already in Havana,
handling some business.
I'll be accompanying you instead.
If that's all right.
Come.
Neal has told me so much about you.
[SOPHIE] Huh.
[ELIOT, ON SPEAKER] Good afternoon,
everybody, this is
your captain speaking.
Um, expect some turbulent air
for a lot of the flight.
Takeoff might be a little bumpy.
Uh, landing, that's gonna be rough.
Might wanna strap in.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'm
really so pleased to meet you.
Neal is very picky about
the people he brings around.
Well, the feeling's mutual.
Your brother's quite the gentleman.
[SCOFFS] He's annoyingly perfect.
Humble. Way too smart to argue with.
You two seem close.
[INHALES DEEPLY] We cut off ties
with our parents when we were young.
He started working, I went to college.
And they approved of nothing we did.
You work for him now?
With him. Yes. [CHUCKLES]
I manage all of his savings.
A sizable amount,
but nothing I can't handle.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- [PHONE BUZZING, RINGING]
[SIGHS] Hmm.
[SPEAKING HINDI]
[SIGHS]
I'll be right back.
[SPEAKS HINDI]
Neal sends his sister in
to put his victims at ease.
No wonder their defenses are down.
But how real was that story?
A real gold coating, rotten core.
Probably some truth in it, though.
[REENA] Mmm.
[GASPS]
[ALARM BEEPING, STOPS]
Oof. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh!
- Ah!
Enjoy. [CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Ladies.
Brother.
[KISSES]
I'm gonna handle some business.
Enjoy your lunch.
Don't screw up. She's special.
[NEAL] Violet.
The restaurant has quite the view.
The penthouse?
Even better. You'll see.
- [SOPHIE] Oh.
- [NEAL CHUCKLES]
[SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Ooh, my.
[NEAL] Mm-hmm.
[SOPHIE] Wha Uh.
200,000 gallons of salt water.
The whole restaurant is built around it.
[SOPHIE SIGHS]
But I was thinking
something a bit more intimate.
[GASPS] Oh.
[GASPING] What
Wow. [CHUCKLES]
I hope Reena didn't
hard sell me too much.
She's eager for me to settle down.
She's sweet.
Uh, you're both very impressive.
Especially having been estranged
from your parents at such a young age.
They would have preferred
that we never left home.
Just stayed and took
over their laundry service.
Reena and I needed to find
our own way in the world.
[DOOR OPENS]
Ah. Thank you.
Champagne.
For our bar fight.
Although, I don't think we'll need it.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I know the investors.
They let me rent out the entire place,
just in case any of my enemies
made an unwanted appearance.
It's why I had to send in Nikolev first.
I can't imagine.
Always having to watch your back.
Never knowing who to trust.
It can be harrowing. [CHUCKLES]
But if it allows me alone time
with a woman such as yourself,
- it has its perks.
- [CHUCKLES]
I was wondering,
given your success as a businessman,
if I could ask you some advice.
You know, I've been thinking a lot
about dating nowadays.
This should be good.
And Sophie and Harry are really
smart and they get the emotion stuff.
And they know how to
talk to people about it.
And even they're having trouble.
So?
So, these apps are the enemy.
They're thoughtless, joyless,
and our friends are [INHALES
SHARPLY] powerless against them.
I mean, I'm in a great relationship,
but would I even be in it if it were
up to those swiping machines?
She's what? A British woman?
She showed you a video
and said what? About my brother?
We are in trouble.
Nah, I mean. Me, you, Hardison,
pfft that's fine.
- That's working.
- No [STUTTERS] trouble there.
[REENA] Of course, it's not true.
She's trying to hurt my brother.
I'll go warn him right now.
Sophie. Reena incoming.
- [SIGHS]
- Sophie?
She can't hear us.
The walls.
They're built with ferro-cement.
[STAMMERING] When you put wire
and mesh in between concrete, okay?
It's built to withstand hurricane.
And what, you're more
of a cement purist?
No I We can't use comms
in here, Parker. Okay?
Every room in this hotel
is a Faraday cage.
It's a very distinctive cement.
A ruby mine in Myanmar? [CHUCKLES]
Yes, yes. I absolutely
think I can help.
My mother, really. It was her company.
But she's heard me
speak so highly of you.
You told her about me?
Well
we're serious, aren't we?
As As serious as you want to be.
It would take me
a little while to raise
some of the capital but I absolu
[SIGHS] Excuse me, Violet. [CHUCKLES]
Reena [SPEAKS
HINDI] I told you not to
[REENA] Didn't Roger say the
woman asking about us is British?
I swear the stewardess from my flight
with Violet has been following me.
Violet is the British woman.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[SUCKS TEETH]
I just heard the most interesting story.
[ELIOT] Hmm.
Looks like backup has arrived.
Looks like we have a date to crash.
All right. We got to get past
the guards. Find a way in.
[IN SPANISH] Good day, gentlemen.
I am the manager of the hotel.
[IN SPANISH] This is private property.
[GRUNTING]
Go. Go.
No, you don't!
You were good. You were very believable.
Who hired you?
Was it one of the women?
They're always the most irrational.
Claire? Or was it Leena?
You can't best me, Violet.
I have built an empire.
Oh, Neal. You're hilarious.
We both know your gems are fake.
Oh, I'm not talking about gems.
I'm talking about lovers. Less
precious, perhaps, but far more loyal.
And one of them just called my
sister to report a possible threat.
A British woman.
Brunette. Impeccable jawline.
[MUTTERS]
[INHALES SHARPLY] It's so funny,
I've been going on and on and on
about my enemies finding me here
when one of them was right
in front of me the entire time.
So, here is what's going to happen.
Um [CHUCKLES]
Stay down here, as long as you'd like.
Finish your champagne.
And then two of my friends,
of Nikolev's actually,
are going to pick you up
and hand you over to the local police,
with whom I have a
very close relationship.
Goodbye, Violet.
[DOOR OPENS]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Roger. Reena told me what you did.
You saved my life.
I'm going to repay you.
I love you, Roger.
I love you, my love.
Ugh.
Does he require you not to talk,
afraid you'll embarrass him?
- [GUNSHOT]
- Mmm.
That'll be my rescue.
Very smart of them though,
to use guns in a room full
of 200,000 gallons of water.
Oops. One of the windows
must have cracked.
It's just a little puddle now,
but soon enough the pressure of all
that water on broken glass and boom.
There is a bright side, though.
Maybe we'll drown
before the sharks get us.
Oh, and Neal's safe, of course,
he's definitely not coming back.
Oh, not that way.
You'll never get out in time. This way.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[EXCLAIMS]
The gunshots.
Parker. It's an '82.
Mmm.
[GRUNTING]
How How exactly did you guys all
I have a buddy who's a smuggler.
We got a ride on his boat.
Put in the hold, with shrimp.
Covered in shrimp.
Oh, man. I really wanted to
fly that plane on the way home.
- You can't just fly a plane, Parker.
- I know how to fly.
Huh. I learned for an
airport heist in 2005.
Why did you let me fly us to Cuba?
'Cause flying's fun.
And I wanted you to have fun.
Anyway, we're back at square one.
The three of us are burned.
That's not even the real kicker.
Our small-town accountant
just got a new client.
Roger's now Neal's new money manager,
in charge of his nest egg,
which is worth about
three million dollars.
And Neal rewarded Roger for his loyalty
without actually letting
him in on the con.
That's a mistake.
Look, if we can't convince
Roger that Neal's a fraud,
then maybe we can get him to follow
the money and
figure it out for himself.
In the meantime, we have
to bait him with a new catch.
Well, I can trick the
Hartfield algorithm
and rig the potential matches
that show up on Neal's end,
but there is no way
I can make that guy swipe right.
You know, we could just break his hand.
You know what I mean?
Have some gentle male nurse swipe
right for him while he's recovering.
No. We can't coerce him.
Love isn't meant to be forced.
I just said gentle, didn't I? What?
I thought this guy was about money?
[SOPHIE] I don't think so.
The money's relevant,
but he may be in this
for something deeper.
So, he wants the total package.
Who could we even try sending in
to replace Sophie Devereaux?
[HARRY BLOWING]
What? Me? [CHUCKLES] You guys
I'm honored.
Ah. All right, Harry.
Let's see what you've got.
I bought it in Paris. Not bad, huh?
Oh, Harry, my Harry.
It needs, um, swagger. We need rizz.
Where do you buy rizz?
No. You do not buy rizz.
Rizz is within. You reveal it.
Oh, my dream's coming true.
It's time for a makeover montage.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [HARRY SIGHS]
We don't have time for a montage.
[BREANNA] A fish pic.
Seriously? Harry? Right off the bat?
I think it's pretty good.
I think it says, you know, I'm a catch.
Absolutely not.
And why are you
pretending to be, like,
5 inches shorter
than you actually are?
'Cause I read somewhere
that short kings are in right now.
All right. Well. You need to forget
everything you thought you knew.
Now, you're Arthur Bennet.
Public interest lawyer.
An old money, Big Easy native
who's lived in Louisiana
since beignets were invented.
[SCOFFS] Got this.
Harry, the clothes are not gonna
help unless you believe in yourself.
You mean, "Believe in Arthur Bennet."
[SOPHIE] No.
This isn't about putting
on Arthur like a suit
because the real Harry isn't enough.
In the long con,
it's about finding
those parts of yourself,
confidence, style, compassion,
the vulnerability you already have,
and giving them voice.
It's just easier sometimes to
speak that voice as another person.
With another name.
As Arthur.
Look, Harry Wilson had his heart broken
and for a while,
he was really hard on himself.
More than he deserved.
[STAMMERS] I think I had
I think I had it about right.
Let your Arthur Bennet
just carry you for a while.
And if you're lucky,
when he steps back,
you get to hold on
to all his strengths.
Your strengths
you didn't even know you had.
You know what just occurred to me?
I don't know if Sophie Devereaux
is your real name.
[SOPHIE] Hmm.
No.
Right?
[PARKER] I am convinced.
We have to save normal
dating from these apps.
Parker, you don't even
understand normal dating.
Neither do you.
I Sure I do. Normal dating.
You meet someone, you talk. All right?
You share interests.
And then maybe you're shipped off
to a war zone
and you don't get to talk
to that person that much anymore.
Maybe you meet somebody else.
Maybe you meet
somebody in the war zone.
Yeah, and you share interests.
Then maybe you go
off on a rescue mission
and that relationships
ends up [STAMMERS]
When I say it out loud,
it may not be a universal experience,
but the d the dating
apps are not the problem.
- They are our real parents, Eliot.
- You
Machines.
I mean, think about it.
If algorithms are
deciding who we date,
then algorithms are
breeding our children.
[SIGHS] Don't you get it?
I mean, when you put it like that
But it
- Yeah. I talked to Hardison last night.
- Mmm.
He is on board with this.
He was all, "Yeah. Sure, babe."
Like, a lot.
He thinks we have to take down
these dating apps once and for all.
To set humanity free.
Oh! There he is.
All right.
We're ready for you.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREANNA] Oh.
[SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]
- Yeah.
Here, let me.
[PHONE WHOOSHES]
[SIGHS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
Would you look at that?
Neal and Arthur are a match.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Roger. FBI.
I'm Special Agent Dinero.
This is Special Agent Pound.
May we come in?
[ELIOT] We've been tracking
a large sum of money.
It was transferred from an account
that was set up in Mumbai.
Did you or did you not
recently take control of an
estate in the last 22 hours?
Um, uh, yes, but I-I know the man
- that gave me access to that
- Thank you.
And did you or did you not know that
that money may have
been obtained illegally?
Let me ask you something, Roger.
You ever heard of the sink?
The soak? The spin?
[SIGHS] Money laundering?
No, a-absolutely not.
I have a paper trail for this
money, leading back to a billionaire.
And are you sure it's all his?
Oh, my God. What if it's [STAMMERS]
Uh, his sister I bet, uh, she's
laundering money behind his back.
I can warn him. Oh. [GASPS]
You see, I would double-check first.
Because if you do warn him,
and he ends up being guilty,
well, you could be
implicated as an accomplice.
Which is good for us, but bad for you.
So, he just gave you the keys to the
city and then never
contacted you again?
Mm-mmm. He contacted me.
[STAMMERS] Wouldn't leave me alone.
In fact, I had to get my lawyer
to file a restraining order.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You really are royalty in this city,
aren't you?
Well, I, um, would love to
show you around New Orleans.
I'd love to, uh, give you
the full NOLA experience.
[CHUCKLES]
[BECKY] Dad?
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
Would you excuse me just for one second?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Ah.
- Becky!
- I am so sorry. I'm gonna go.
No, no, no, no. What
you just saw isn't
what you saw.
Unless, of course, it is.
- But it isn't what you think.
- Dad. Dad, stop.
I'm so happy that you're
finally on a good date.
I was here applying for a job
and then I saw the way
that you two were
looking at each other
and I can't believe
I ruined it for you.
Oh, hey. First of all, no.
You couldn't ruin anything ever. Uh
It just makes so much sense now.
And I mean, I knew that there was
a reason that you couldn't be, like,
emotionally available
to any of your partners.
[SIGHS] Yeah. [STAMMERS]
Did Your mom said that?
And I think you mentioned, like,
maybe one or two things
happening during Mardi Gras.
I Actually, that was a long time ago,
before you were born.
I don't remember
telling you about that.
Hey. You need to get
back to your date. Okay?
But call to debrief later. All right?
I'm so proud of you.
I love you so much.
Oh.
Uh. Huh.
Uh, guys, Neal's gone. I-I just lost
Neal. I think I blew it.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
- Neal.
- [NEAL] Hi.
I just came to make sure
everything was all right,
but then I couldn't help but overhear
the conversation you had
with your daughter.
Yeah.
It was beautiful. I, uh
I wish I could've had
a moment like that with my parents.
Come. Our first course
is just about to be served.
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE CHIMING]
Sixty-six text messages.
He's asking what kind of cars I like.
And he just left a voicemail.
Well, don't get too excited. These
kind of guys move on very quickly.
Someone left these for
Arthur outside his PO box.
God, he moves so fast.
He knows I love roses. [CHUCKLES]
I have to say thank you.
No, no. No, no. [STAMMERS]
We have the upper hand.
You need to play hard to get.
But he's been texting me all night
and I haven't responded. That's rude.
[GASPS] Is this what it
feels like to be pursued?
[REMOTE BEEPS]
Please don't make me
feel bad for you right now.
- Okay.
- What is that?
[BREANNA] Feast your eyes on this.
Arthur's land. Gorgeous.
Unspoiled. Total package.
Step two. We got Neal to open the
box. This is the secret prize inside.
Neal-Neal's calling me right now.
- Neal's calling me right now.
- Oh.
What do I What
do I What do I Here.
I can't answer.
[LAUGHS] Come on.
What would Arthur Bennet do?
Seize the moment.
[NEAL] Arthur, hi.
Hey, you. Long time no see.
Look, I know that I've been texting
a lot and there is a very real chance
that I am coming off as
a crazy person right now,
- but I only wanted to
- Hey. Wh
- Uh, to-to take you to a
- Uh, you know what I wanna do?
I wanna I want I would like
to take you to some place special.
What exactly did you
have in mind? [CHUCKLES]
My parents loved it here.
This was our second summer home.
And our fourth winter home.
Mostly it's just storage
now that they've passed.
It is not every day that I
get to walk these grounds
with someone so special.
Guys!
It was so nice of you
to invite me along, Arthur.
I don't remember him
inviting you actually.
Got a little bit of lunch prepared.
I'm just gonna take a final
look around and then I'll head in.
Uh, a final look?
Yes, this is my last day here.
I'm donating all this land
at the end of the week.
Just, uh, giving it away?
This land was bought and
operated with plantation money.
And that makes me sick to think about.
Now, I wanna give it
back to the community.
Maybe start an artist colony. [CHUCKLES]
Plus, there's so much
untapped oil under the ground
- [PHONE RINGING]
- I just don't wanna deal with.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [HARRY] Excuse me.
Mr. Windyneck. For the last time,
I'm not interested in selling.
This little slice of heaven will
never be one of your casinos, sir.
Our world-famous beignets.
Arthur, we should go shopping together.
I want to treat you after
you've treated us today.
[LAUGHS]
First, we should talk about
the land that Arthur's giving up.
Must be very, uh, emotional for him.
Yes. Yes, it is. I'll miss it very much.
Arthur, tell us about
your childhood here.
Oh. Mom and Pop and I
would ride every summer morning.
But he brought us out here,
dear brother, to show us the land.
As a businessman, wouldn't
you agree that a trusted third party
could maintain it better than the state?
Arthur, open up.
Oh. [LAUGHS]
May I speak with you? In private.
[NEAL SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT]
Uh-oh.
One minute.
- God, what the hell are you doing?
- [SCOFFS]
We could buy the land and triple
our money if we seal the deal.
You're literally sabotaging it.
If he wants to give it to the state,
that's his decision, no?
Do you hear yourself? You sound like
you're in love with
the guy or something.
Tell me you aren't.
Love is a strong word.
I would say, "Like."
A lot.
And what's so bad about that, huh?
We don't play the long game.
"We"? Who is we?
This is my operation.
And I have everything planned out.
Arthur and I will have a quaint
little wedding in Maryland.
And then, Arthur will die in a tragic
and mysterious accident.
And I will inherit all of his millions.
[INHALES SHARPLY] The funeral
will be close family only.
You may be the pretty face
that lures people in,
but I'm the one who catches them.
I took our first dollar
and made it into millions.
You never touched a dime.
- [NEAL CHUCKLES]
- [REENA SCOFFS]
You're so lucky
Mommy isn't here right now.
Because even while she was beating us,
she'd have the clarity to admit
that you couldn't do this without me.
[MOUTHING WORDS] All right.
[SPEAKS HINDI]
I am texting Roger to tell him to
lock you out of all of our accounts.
- [PHONE BEEPS]
- [REENA SCREAMS]
[SIGHS]
Um, am I gonna have to marry this guy?
Harry, deep breaths.
We're not finished yet.
What about the, uh, uh, Ugly Duckling?
Or, uh, a reversed Twelfth Night?
No. Harry had his Cinderella moment.
[GASPS] But there's always what
happens after the happily ever after.
[SIGHS] I think he's
coming back. [LAUGHS]
Harry, the clock struck midnight. It's
time to tell him who you really are.
Say this.
Well, I'm sorry your sister
had to leave us so early.
Don't be. We're finally alone.
I like you, Arthur. I feel like
I can be my true self with you.
I feel the exact same way.
I've waited a long
time to find someone
that can love me unconditionally.
Which is why I feel like
I have to be honest
and say that I am not the
man that you think I am.
Not anymore, anyway.
This land is my only asset.
I have given away everything that
was bought with my
family's dirty money.
I wanna start fresh.
- Everything?
- Yes.
- All the houses?
- Yes!
- The yacht?
- Yes.
- The jetpack?
- All of it. It's all gone.
You and I could live a life that is
totally unencumbered by money.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, what if
Uh, just a thought.
I-I buy this land
and I maintain it for you.
You may want it back someday
and I would take good care of it.
Get in.
[EXHALES]
Twenty million dollars. That's my price.
Pennies for someone
as wealthy as you, Arthur Bennet.
And then I'll be on my way.
On my jet. With my money.
Reena, wait. You don't understand.
[GROANS, COUGHS] Nikolev.
He's my bodyguard now.
You don't talk to him anymore.
Just transfer the money, Arthur.
- Arthur doesn't have the money!
- [LAUGHS]
[NEAL] He gave everything away!
That's impossible.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Arthur?
[SIGHS]
Oh, no. [SIGHS] Oh, no. This can't be.
You did this!
Okay, okay. Let's-Let's
not do anything
irrational. [BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GROANS] Oh, my God. [COUGHS]
Someone's gonna give me my money!
[NEAL CRYING]
And if it's not going to be Arthur
- Huh?
- Fine, fine! Fine! Fine!
I-I can get your money! [SOBS]
Our three million.
Just-Just let me call Roger. [PANTS]
Roger, yeah. Roger.
- Roger.
- [DIALING]
[LINE RINGS]
Oh, oh. Roger. Roger, thank God.
My enemies have caught up to me.
I need you to transfer
three million dollars
into Reena's account.
I promise, more money
is coming to replace it.
Really? You need me
to transfer money? How original.
Roger, they-they have a gun
pointed to my head!
Look. Look at my face.
[SOBBING] I'm bleeding.
Oh, what is it this time?
A dye or pasta sauce?
Roger! It's blood!
I followed the money
and it led me to the truth.
You're never gonna pay me back.
And you're
And you're never gonna love me.
No! This-This is This is This
is a life or death situation. [SOBS]
It's gonna be lonely,
but I'm gonna have to love myself.
Goodbye, Neal.
[STAMMERS] No! Oh. [BREATHING HEAVILY]
Arthur, please tell me you still have
some of that dirty money stashed away.
Neal, I don't even have my zip tie.
[GRUNTING]
Reena! Take me with you.
You proved yourself, okay? I was wrong!
Find your own way home, Neal!
I saved you once!
I am begging you to return the favor!
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Thank you.
Thank you. Oh, my God. All right.
Go.
- [NIKOLEV GROANS]
- Ah. [INHALES SHARPLY] Oh.
Can't believe it. They're getting away.
[SPEAKING HINDI]
[LAUGHS]
- No, Harry.
- Don't play with that.
Do you have anything to declare?
I stole a ton of money
and jewelry from his house.
And turns out it was all counterfeit.
I still have the stuff.
It's always nice to return stolen things
to their rightful owner.
[REENA] Oh, no.
No, no. These aren't mine.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]
- They're his!
They're in your bag! You hid them there!
These are your little props!
- They are ours! [GRUNTS]
- No
No They are hers!
[SPEAKING HINDI]
No, no, no, no! Let go of me!
Neal's back in Mumbai
on the No Fly List
and he can't do this
to anyone ever again.
- Thanks to you.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
When you called last week,
I didn't want to answer.
Talking to you finally gave me
the courage to end things.
[SIGHS] I'm just so ashamed
that he fooled me.
Roger, love is blinding.
I-I actually wish I was more like you.
I lost a great love.
And now, I'm so quick to
hone in on every red flag.
The moment I spot
an imperfection, I bolt.
You love people despite their flaws,
and I admire that.
Well, I'll keep trying if you will.
It's a deal.
[CHUCKLES]
What do you think?
Still wanna destroy all the dating apps?
No. I talked to Hardison last night
and he was all, "Sure, babe."
Like, lots again.
And we just decided we're gonna
create our own dating app, you know?
We're gonna make the machine parents
instead of them making us.
[GASPS] I need to
go call him right away.
I just thought of the
perfect name for it.
Hmm? Dad, look. Mother of two.
Likes to dance. Ah, fish allergy.
Oh! Okay, that's perfect.
Swipe right on that.
See? All you needed was my help.
- Yeah.
- [SOPHIE CHUCKLES]
- Bye.
- [SOPHIE] Bye.
sync & corrections by awaqeded
The last thing you wanna do around here
is piss off the mayor.
How about we add an even grand
to get your car outta hock?
There must be a town council
who can just rein him in?
[RESIDENT] Get their vote
on the Gillon town council.
- Jack.
- Sophie.
I called an emergency meeting
to elect a new mayor.
Find these interlopers and figure out
what the hell they're up to.
What are you up to, long hair?
I'm trying to open up
a checking account.
Little message from the mayor.
[GRUNTING]
Let's go steal a town.
[BELLS RINGING]