And Just Like That... (2021) s03e09 Episode Script
Present Tense
1
I'm back!
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
Aidan?
Aidan, honey?
Aidan?
- Aidan?
- [AIDAN] Yo! Down here!
[CARRIE] Oh.
Hey!
Come on, come join us.
[SEEMA SIGHS]
[ADAM] You slept in.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Aw.
- Mm.
[LIPS SMACKING] What's on your lips?
Ice Blue Secret.
- You did not.
- I did.
I just want you to have
all the information.
Well, that tastes awful.
Well, that's the deodorant you love.
This is for you.
It's brand new, just in case
you're ever feeling curious.
- [ADAM SNARLING]
- [SEEMA GIGGLING]
[KISSES SMACKING]
[SIGHS]
I'll give it a try.
[AIDAN] You know, I went
to London once for a weekend
to see some Chippendales up close.
Aidan designs beautiful furniture.
- Oh!
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Uh, so Chippendales, the cabinet,
not Chippendales, the nightclub.
- Yes, that makes more sense.
- [AIDAN] Mm.
- [DUNCAN INHALING SLOWLY]
- [DISTANT TRAFFIC NOISE]
Well, we're keeping you.
No, no, no. It's fine.
What's the deal with the pipe?
What do you mean?
How does someone become a pipe smoker?
Uh, that's a reasonable
question. [EXHALES SHARPLY]
Well, it's actually quite
a recent affect, actually.
Um, I picked it up when I
started writing the Thatcher book
because half her cabinet smoked a pipe,
and my grandfather, who, by the way,
- detested the woman
- [CARRIE CHUCKLES]
also smoked a pipe.
So, it's kind of a touchstone
to the people, to the time.
And it became kind of a ritual
to get me in the mood to write.
And now basically, it's, uh
it's just kind of a nipple, really.
Well, I get that.
You get a nipple? [LAUGHING]
Oh, my God, Aidan, the man
smokes a pipe, leave it alone.
Hang on, I'm just curious,
'cause I know most
people hate the smell.
[CHUCKLES] Well, now,
you sound like my wife.
Oh, you're, uh, you're married?
Uh, ex. Ex-wife, I should say.
Oh. Any kids?
No, thankfully.
[AIDAN] Huh.
Having kids was the best
thing I ever did with my ex,
that is for sure.
Ask Carrie, she'll tell you.
Well, I should go. I promised Seema
that I would go to see her new office.
- I'll see you later, tonight?
- Yes. Yes, you will,
'cause it's my turn to give you notes.
Oh. God help me.
[CHUCKLES] Well, don't keep him up.
It's past his bedtime.
[CARRIE CLEARING THROAT]
- Bye, babe.
- Bye.
- [WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [HARRY SIGHING]
[HARRY EXHALES SHARPLY]
Charlotte.
Your doctor said no activity
until the meds kicked in.
Now, look at you!
I know, but, honey, look at this mess!
I can't have vertigo and this mess.
Those kids said that they
would pick up after us!
Okay! Okay.
The kids have left us high and dry,
- and neither of us can really walk.
- Mm-mm.
But you want to hear some good news?
Yeah!
I just peed without a catheter
for the first time since the surgery.
You did? That's amazing!
- Oh. [GROANING]
- H-Honey!
- [CHARLOTTE THUDS]
- Are you okay?
I'm fine! No, no, I'm great!
You peed without a catheter! Yay!
O-Okay. Uh, I'm I'm on my way.
Gonna take a minute,
still juggling two cantaloupes here.
Welcome to The Patel Group!
You weren't kidding about the size.
Oh, my gosh, how can
you afford all this?
Using my savings, but
the rent is nothing.
Since people stopped
going to the office,
it's the real-estate
version of a sample sale.
Well, it's amazing.
Speaking of amazing,
you've met my fabulous
assistant, Artold.
[CHUCKLES] Yes, I did.
I met him and his Birkin.
Artold used to work for Ravi.
She got me in the divorce.
- [ARTOLD CHUCKLES]
- Ooh.
I'll be right back with your sushi.
Thank you.
From WeWork to SheWork.
[CHUCKLES]
I could not, could not have drawn
a clearer boundary,
and he barrels right through it.
Holds a mid-morning talk
show against my wishes.
Why would he do that?
Trying to figure out who Duncan is.
I think he's threatened.
- Threatened by Duncan?
- Mm-mm.
By me.
I cheated on him with John.
It was awful, so
He had trouble trusting me after that,
and, frankly, he had reason not to.
I cheated on him with
cigarettes, as well.
That's why he was asking all
those questions at the gallery.
Wait, he was asking you questions?
- Me and Adam.
- Oh, God.
- Mm. Oh, my God.
- You have to talk to him about this.
No, no, no. No, no.
Nope, I don't think so.
I'm hoping it's a blip, you know, but
Anyway, I'm too happy
that he's here, finally,
to bring up the past and throw
a wet blanket on everything.
Sorry to interrupt. Do
you know how you asked me
to secure you a lunch with the
Atlas Tower marketing director?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I just did. [CHUCKLES]
Well done, Artold!
[ARTOLD] In 40 minutes.
He chose Pelican on the Upper East Side.
I-Is that close to here?
- [CARRIE] Mm.
- No, it's far!
Really fuckin' far.
Bye!
I don't know New York.
I've just moved here from London.
Will she make it on time?
[CLICKING TONGUE] It's gonna be tight.
Why is there cheese in here?
And what is this? More cheese!
Do you people not hear me when I say
there can't be any tempting
foods in this house?
This election is stressing me out,
and I am not about to put on
the 20 pounds that I have lost.
Who are you talking to?
I'm talking to you, you cheese-eater.
Okay, guys, I will be back by dinner.
Speaking of dinner, I
noticed you snuck a package
of angel hair pasta on the shelf.
What's up with that?
It's for the children.
Nah. Nope.
Leftover pasta, that's
not happening, Lis.
Look, if I see it, I will eat it.
And I've worked too
hard to get where I am.
Yes, you have.
- [DRAWER OPENING]
- Oh, hell no!
Whose Nutty Buddies are these?
- Those are mine, Dad.
- [HERBERT SCOFFS]
- I'm not fat.
- Herbert, please.
Just go on Ozempic like everybody else.
Love you guys!
- Did you just call me fat, cheese boy?
- [HENRY CRUNCHING]
[WITH MOUTH FULL] Maybe?
- [UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SIREN WAILING]
Mr. Salizar, nice to see you again.
- Hope I'm not late.
- No, no. Right on time.
- And please, call me Martin.
- Martin.
I pre-ordered their truffle pizza.
It takes 45 minutes, but
I knew a man as busy as you
doesn't have that kind of time.
- You'll love it.
- That sounds great.
- [SERVER] Still or sparkling?
- Sparkling water, please.
Okay, here you go.
- And for me as well.
- Yes, sir.
[MARTIN GROANING AND CLEARING THROAT]
And I will be right back
for your drink orders.
Oof, that waiter had some serious B.O.
What, does he not wear
deodorant? [CHUCKLES]
[SEEMA CHUCKLES, SNIFFS]
Martin, would you excuse me a moment?
Oh, sure.
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Ladies' room?
[DOOR KNOB RATTLING]
[PATRON] Someone's in here.
[SIGHS] Where is it? Where
is my travel deodorant?
[DOOR OPENS]
I'm not this woman.
I've seen this woman.
I'm not this woman.
[JAZZ MUSIC STOPS]
[CABINET DOORS OPENING]
Question: Where's my Ungava gin?
Oh! Is it not in the cabinet?
Mm-mm.
Hm, I don't know then. [CHUCKLES]
Um, maybe
maybe my new cleaning
lady stole it, or
How bad did you leave it that
she had to take the whole bottle?
[CHUCKLES] Right?
Actually, no. No one stole it.
Um
Whatever's happening feels ominous.
[MIRANDA LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
I threw the bottle down the trash chute
because I was afraid
to have it in the house.
What I'm hearing is, my gin is gone?
Yes.
And it probably shouldn't be here again.
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
I'm not just someone who rarely drinks
or who just stopped drinking.
I can't drink. I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm sorry to bring
this very unfun, sober fact
into what has been,
up until this moment,
our very fun thing. [CHUCKLES]
I see. Uh, let me think.
- This is a challenge.
- [SILVERWARE CLATTERING]
I mean [CLICKING TONGUE]
not the leaving the bottle here.
Of course, that's easy, but I'm afraid
that now whenever I
have a drink around you,
I'm going to feel bad about it.
- Well, that's not
- A-And, l-let me finish.
And I don't like to
feel bad about myself.
Which is possibly why I
need to have a drink or two,
to dull that feeling.
- Yeah.
- If and when it creeps up.
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Turns out I did bring
my emotional baggage
to your apartment.
Luckily, there's a whole second bedroom
to store all of our baggage in.
I may also have a a trunk or two.
I have room.
Do you?
[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[LISA] Starting with the petition
document just isn't engaging.
I'm thinking we should
begin with Mumbet's portrait,
you know, to humanize her.
Done.
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, this is Herbert's office.
- I gotta take this.
- Oh, of course.
Is everything okay?
I gained a pound. Just
came back from the gym.
What are you doing calling
me at work about that?
[HERBERT] I warned you
about that angel hair!
I'm running for office.
I'm in the public eye!
[LISA] I have two things to say:
I'm at work here, and Ozempic. Love you.
[DISCONNECT TONE BEEPING]
Let's see, chapter four.
Um, you know, where she's, um, attending
the, uh, Kesteven and
Grantham Girls' School.
[DUNCAN] Mm?
It's almost as if
she's not a little girl.
- How do you mean?
- Well, she has a s
a sense of her destiny
I mean, in the way that you tell it,
that I just
I don't think any
10-year-old would have.
- Oh. Okay, I see.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, so in which specific
passages are you
- are you thinking that?
- Oh, gosh. Um
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Huh, it's your man.
Oh.
Hey. I got steaks.
Should I start the broiler?
It's it's almost 8:30.
No, I'm Mm, we're working.
We never talked about dinner.
Yeah, but you guys gotta eat.
I mean, I got more than enough
food for the three of us.
No, Aidan, I don't
I don't think you get it.
It's it's not that kind of a thing.
No, I I get it.
Just you and me then.
What time you coming up?
I'm not sure, so you
better start without me.
No! I'll I'll wait for ya.
But it it might be late.
I'll wait.
Okay, it's you know, it's fine.
I don't wanna eat alone.
[CARRIE] Okay, but if
you get hungry, then just,
- you know, go ahead and eat.
- [AIDAN] Okay, but listen.
Are you sure he doesn't want to eat?
'Cause I can grill up
these juicy T-bones,
get 'em straight down
here. They're still
They're still sizzlin'.
No, I'm I'm sure.
[SMACKS LEG]
[QUIETLY] 'Kay.
Sorry.
[ANTHONY] Well, it's rent-controlled,
and I'm gonna renovate soon.
I'm not sure about this
butter yellow color, here.
I'm thinking more of a squash.
Well, you like the risotto?
I've been seasoning the mushrooms
- since midnight yesterday.
- Oh! [CHUCKLES]
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]
[PEPPERCORNS SHAKING SOFTLY]
Those are just fun.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[LAUGHING] I owe you an apology.
I haven't been easy on you.
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
What exactly is the problem?
Giuseppe's father was
30 years my senior.
I was just a girl when we met.
We had a passionate love affair,
and he turned my whole
world upside-down.
That sounds lovely. What a gift!
It was, until reality hit.
Here I was, in the prime of my life,
my career, my sexual power!
And I had to become a full-time nurse.
It was very difficult.
So, young lover, dying old man,
is not the scenario I want for my son.
Surely, you understand.
No, I don't understand.
And what does this have to do me?
I'm 58!
Alright, I'm 59.
Sixty-two, final offer.
And this sounds more like a
you problem than a me problem.
- Forget about us.
- Yeah.
What about Giuseppe?
I raised him in a world
of beautiful things.
Beautiful art, beautiful villas.
"Villas," plural. We have three.
What can you offer? He
can't live on bread alone.
Bread and love.
Don't forget love. I
love your son very much.
[OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[AMERICAN ACCENT] Let's
cut the shit, shall we?
How much for you to get the
fuck out of Giuseppe's life?
Name a price.
[SCOFFS] You think I
don't know what you are?
I come from this.
You sit there with your
fancy airs and your accent,
but you're not Dottoressa
Gianna Amato from Rome
or even Gia Brunetti from Buffalo.
You're my manipulative Aunt Michalena,
the Boston bookie with a beard.
[CHAIR SCRAPING]
Get your old-man ass
out of my baby's life!
He deserves more than
you, your sticky rice,
your salt-and-penis shakers!
[ITEMS CLATTER, DISHES SHATTERING]
Someone needs a good therapist.
- [GASPS]
- Know any?
I my God, what did I do?
I'm so sorry. I I will clean this up.
I told you, she's trying to kill me.
- [EXCLAIMS] No.
- [KNIFE CLANGING]
Va bene.
I was just trying to pick it up.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[GIANNA GAGS]
What's all that? What did she just say?
Um, she said, um
"Thank you for dinner."
Okay. Let's think that.
[OPERA MUSIC ENDS]
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Oh. Good, you're still up.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry about dinner.
I would've come up earlier,
you know, if we were working on my book.
But he's just he's been so generous,
so I felt like I owed him.
[SIGHS] But thank you for
being so understanding.
[CARRIE SIGHING]
Uh-uh, no. Get get away from me.
You you smell like smoke.
Come on. Go take a shower.
[AIDAN SIGHS]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS] What what
are you doing in here?
You told me to get away, so
Carrie, come on. Just come back to bed.
No. Good night.
- [CHUCKLING] Seriously?
- Yeah, seriously.
- Are you
- Please shut the door.
[AIDAN SIGHS]
[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]
[FOOD SIZZLING]
- Hey, I'm making breakfast.
- I'm going for a walk.
What, are you still mad?
I have no reason not to be.
Okay, fuck it, I'll stay mad, too.
Is this because I talked to him?
I distinctly asked you not to.
I'm standing on the
terrace, the guy comes out.
It would be weird not to say "hello."
Why were you on the terrace?
What?
I'm asking. Why were you on the terrace?
- I was getting some air.
- [CHUCKLES] No, no, no, sorry.
You were there waiting
for him to come out
so you could talk to him.
Oh, really? Why the
fuck would I do that?
To figure out if there's
something going on between us.
This is such bullshit, Carrie.
Aidan, you're worried
about me and another man.
That's what all the
neighbor business is about.
Okay, now I'm going for a walk.
No, I'm going for a walk!
Go for a fucking walk!
You know I hate the smell of smoke!
- [FRONT DOOR CLOSES]
- [WOODEN SPOON CLATTERING]
- [LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [PATRONS CHATTERING]
Hey, Carrie. I am slammed.
- But I'm gonna be right with you, okay?
- Oh, thanks.
- I'm just looking today, Daniel.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I ordered you an iced tea.
- Thanks.
So, I've been thinking about
everything that happened
and what you said.
And you're right. I hate to admit it.
But I do have trust issues
with you around other men.
And last night, it
didn't help that we were
- both hungry and
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
"Have" or "had"?
Huh?
You said you have trust issues
when it comes to me and men. "Have."
You should have said "had."
You "had" trust issues. Past tense.
Okay, what's your
point? It's just a word.
No, it's not just a word.
It's revealing of how you feel.
Sorry, I'm not a writer like
you and Sherlock Holmes
I have done nothing!
Nothing!
Do you hear yourself, how how jealous
and suspicious you sound?
Well, can you fucking blame me?
Can you stop fucking blaming me?
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
- [CARRIE] No.
- We'll be right back.
[HOST] Saltzman, party of five?
- Carrie?
- [PEDESTRIAN] Hey, man.
- [CARRIE] Excuse me.
- Carrie.
- Carrie, stop! Come on!
- How dare you!
No, really, how dare you.
How is it possible
that I haven't earned your trust by now?
I have done everything to show you
how fully committed I am to you.
I have moved mountains and apartments.
I I have agreed to arrangements,
arrangements that even you
yourself couldn't live up to!
I was 100% in.
One hundred percent! And still, you
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, stop, you
No.
"Was" or "are"? Because you just said,
"I was 100% in," so
is it "was," or are you still 100% in?
Was.
I can't give you any more than
I have, and it wasn't enough.
And there's all the family stuff.
I'm sorry, but there is.
[CHOKING UP] I need a hundred.
So do I.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRYING] I'm sad.
I really thought we were
gonna make it this time.
[VOICE SHAKING] Yeah, I'm sad too.
[AIDAN SNIFFLES]
["HOW DID IT END?"
BY TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYING]
[AIDAN SIGHS]
Uh-oh ♪
Uh-oh, oh, oh ♪
We hereby conduct this post-mortem ♪
He was a hothouse
flower to my outdoorsman ♪
Our maladies were such
we could not cure them ♪
And so a touch that was my
birthright became foreign ♪
Come one, come all,
it's happenin' again ♪
- The empathetic hunger descends ♪
- [SHOE MEOWS]
We'll tell no one
except all of our friends ♪
We must know ♪
How did it end? ♪
Uh-oh ♪
Uh-oh, oh, oh ♪
We were blind to
unforeseen circumstances ♪
We learned the right
steps to different dances ♪
[CARRIE] The woman had
thought that she and her love
were very present,
but now realized they were
still locked in the past
which meant, of course,
that they had no future.
Soon, they'll go
home to their husbands ♪
Smug 'cause they know
they can trust him ♪
Then feverishly
calling their cousins ♪
Ooh ♪
Guess who we ran into at the shops? ♪
Walking in circles like she was lost ♪
Didn't you hear? ♪
They called it all off ♪
One gasp, and then ♪
How did it end? ♪
♪
Say it once again with feeling ♪
How the death rattle breathing ♪
Silenced as the soul was leaving ♪
The deflation of our dreaming ♪
Leaving me bereft and reeling ♪
My beloved ghost and
me sitting in a tree ♪
♪
D-Y-I-N-G ♪
It's happenin' again ♪
How did it end? ♪
I can't pretend like I understand ♪
How did it end? ♪
I'm back!
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
Aidan?
Aidan, honey?
Aidan?
- Aidan?
- [AIDAN] Yo! Down here!
[CARRIE] Oh.
Hey!
Come on, come join us.
[SEEMA SIGHS]
[ADAM] You slept in.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Aw.
- Mm.
[LIPS SMACKING] What's on your lips?
Ice Blue Secret.
- You did not.
- I did.
I just want you to have
all the information.
Well, that tastes awful.
Well, that's the deodorant you love.
This is for you.
It's brand new, just in case
you're ever feeling curious.
- [ADAM SNARLING]
- [SEEMA GIGGLING]
[KISSES SMACKING]
[SIGHS]
I'll give it a try.
[AIDAN] You know, I went
to London once for a weekend
to see some Chippendales up close.
Aidan designs beautiful furniture.
- Oh!
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Uh, so Chippendales, the cabinet,
not Chippendales, the nightclub.
- Yes, that makes more sense.
- [AIDAN] Mm.
- [DUNCAN INHALING SLOWLY]
- [DISTANT TRAFFIC NOISE]
Well, we're keeping you.
No, no, no. It's fine.
What's the deal with the pipe?
What do you mean?
How does someone become a pipe smoker?
Uh, that's a reasonable
question. [EXHALES SHARPLY]
Well, it's actually quite
a recent affect, actually.
Um, I picked it up when I
started writing the Thatcher book
because half her cabinet smoked a pipe,
and my grandfather, who, by the way,
- detested the woman
- [CARRIE CHUCKLES]
also smoked a pipe.
So, it's kind of a touchstone
to the people, to the time.
And it became kind of a ritual
to get me in the mood to write.
And now basically, it's, uh
it's just kind of a nipple, really.
Well, I get that.
You get a nipple? [LAUGHING]
Oh, my God, Aidan, the man
smokes a pipe, leave it alone.
Hang on, I'm just curious,
'cause I know most
people hate the smell.
[CHUCKLES] Well, now,
you sound like my wife.
Oh, you're, uh, you're married?
Uh, ex. Ex-wife, I should say.
Oh. Any kids?
No, thankfully.
[AIDAN] Huh.
Having kids was the best
thing I ever did with my ex,
that is for sure.
Ask Carrie, she'll tell you.
Well, I should go. I promised Seema
that I would go to see her new office.
- I'll see you later, tonight?
- Yes. Yes, you will,
'cause it's my turn to give you notes.
Oh. God help me.
[CHUCKLES] Well, don't keep him up.
It's past his bedtime.
[CARRIE CLEARING THROAT]
- Bye, babe.
- Bye.
- [WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [HARRY SIGHING]
[HARRY EXHALES SHARPLY]
Charlotte.
Your doctor said no activity
until the meds kicked in.
Now, look at you!
I know, but, honey, look at this mess!
I can't have vertigo and this mess.
Those kids said that they
would pick up after us!
Okay! Okay.
The kids have left us high and dry,
- and neither of us can really walk.
- Mm-mm.
But you want to hear some good news?
Yeah!
I just peed without a catheter
for the first time since the surgery.
You did? That's amazing!
- Oh. [GROANING]
- H-Honey!
- [CHARLOTTE THUDS]
- Are you okay?
I'm fine! No, no, I'm great!
You peed without a catheter! Yay!
O-Okay. Uh, I'm I'm on my way.
Gonna take a minute,
still juggling two cantaloupes here.
Welcome to The Patel Group!
You weren't kidding about the size.
Oh, my gosh, how can
you afford all this?
Using my savings, but
the rent is nothing.
Since people stopped
going to the office,
it's the real-estate
version of a sample sale.
Well, it's amazing.
Speaking of amazing,
you've met my fabulous
assistant, Artold.
[CHUCKLES] Yes, I did.
I met him and his Birkin.
Artold used to work for Ravi.
She got me in the divorce.
- [ARTOLD CHUCKLES]
- Ooh.
I'll be right back with your sushi.
Thank you.
From WeWork to SheWork.
[CHUCKLES]
I could not, could not have drawn
a clearer boundary,
and he barrels right through it.
Holds a mid-morning talk
show against my wishes.
Why would he do that?
Trying to figure out who Duncan is.
I think he's threatened.
- Threatened by Duncan?
- Mm-mm.
By me.
I cheated on him with John.
It was awful, so
He had trouble trusting me after that,
and, frankly, he had reason not to.
I cheated on him with
cigarettes, as well.
That's why he was asking all
those questions at the gallery.
Wait, he was asking you questions?
- Me and Adam.
- Oh, God.
- Mm. Oh, my God.
- You have to talk to him about this.
No, no, no. No, no.
Nope, I don't think so.
I'm hoping it's a blip, you know, but
Anyway, I'm too happy
that he's here, finally,
to bring up the past and throw
a wet blanket on everything.
Sorry to interrupt. Do
you know how you asked me
to secure you a lunch with the
Atlas Tower marketing director?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I just did. [CHUCKLES]
Well done, Artold!
[ARTOLD] In 40 minutes.
He chose Pelican on the Upper East Side.
I-Is that close to here?
- [CARRIE] Mm.
- No, it's far!
Really fuckin' far.
Bye!
I don't know New York.
I've just moved here from London.
Will she make it on time?
[CLICKING TONGUE] It's gonna be tight.
Why is there cheese in here?
And what is this? More cheese!
Do you people not hear me when I say
there can't be any tempting
foods in this house?
This election is stressing me out,
and I am not about to put on
the 20 pounds that I have lost.
Who are you talking to?
I'm talking to you, you cheese-eater.
Okay, guys, I will be back by dinner.
Speaking of dinner, I
noticed you snuck a package
of angel hair pasta on the shelf.
What's up with that?
It's for the children.
Nah. Nope.
Leftover pasta, that's
not happening, Lis.
Look, if I see it, I will eat it.
And I've worked too
hard to get where I am.
Yes, you have.
- [DRAWER OPENING]
- Oh, hell no!
Whose Nutty Buddies are these?
- Those are mine, Dad.
- [HERBERT SCOFFS]
- I'm not fat.
- Herbert, please.
Just go on Ozempic like everybody else.
Love you guys!
- Did you just call me fat, cheese boy?
- [HENRY CRUNCHING]
[WITH MOUTH FULL] Maybe?
- [UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SIREN WAILING]
Mr. Salizar, nice to see you again.
- Hope I'm not late.
- No, no. Right on time.
- And please, call me Martin.
- Martin.
I pre-ordered their truffle pizza.
It takes 45 minutes, but
I knew a man as busy as you
doesn't have that kind of time.
- You'll love it.
- That sounds great.
- [SERVER] Still or sparkling?
- Sparkling water, please.
Okay, here you go.
- And for me as well.
- Yes, sir.
[MARTIN GROANING AND CLEARING THROAT]
And I will be right back
for your drink orders.
Oof, that waiter had some serious B.O.
What, does he not wear
deodorant? [CHUCKLES]
[SEEMA CHUCKLES, SNIFFS]
Martin, would you excuse me a moment?
Oh, sure.
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Ladies' room?
[DOOR KNOB RATTLING]
[PATRON] Someone's in here.
[SIGHS] Where is it? Where
is my travel deodorant?
[DOOR OPENS]
I'm not this woman.
I've seen this woman.
I'm not this woman.
[JAZZ MUSIC STOPS]
[CABINET DOORS OPENING]
Question: Where's my Ungava gin?
Oh! Is it not in the cabinet?
Mm-mm.
Hm, I don't know then. [CHUCKLES]
Um, maybe
maybe my new cleaning
lady stole it, or
How bad did you leave it that
she had to take the whole bottle?
[CHUCKLES] Right?
Actually, no. No one stole it.
Um
Whatever's happening feels ominous.
[MIRANDA LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
I threw the bottle down the trash chute
because I was afraid
to have it in the house.
What I'm hearing is, my gin is gone?
Yes.
And it probably shouldn't be here again.
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
I'm not just someone who rarely drinks
or who just stopped drinking.
I can't drink. I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm sorry to bring
this very unfun, sober fact
into what has been,
up until this moment,
our very fun thing. [CHUCKLES]
I see. Uh, let me think.
- This is a challenge.
- [SILVERWARE CLATTERING]
I mean [CLICKING TONGUE]
not the leaving the bottle here.
Of course, that's easy, but I'm afraid
that now whenever I
have a drink around you,
I'm going to feel bad about it.
- Well, that's not
- A-And, l-let me finish.
And I don't like to
feel bad about myself.
Which is possibly why I
need to have a drink or two,
to dull that feeling.
- Yeah.
- If and when it creeps up.
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Turns out I did bring
my emotional baggage
to your apartment.
Luckily, there's a whole second bedroom
to store all of our baggage in.
I may also have a a trunk or two.
I have room.
Do you?
[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[LISA] Starting with the petition
document just isn't engaging.
I'm thinking we should
begin with Mumbet's portrait,
you know, to humanize her.
Done.
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, this is Herbert's office.
- I gotta take this.
- Oh, of course.
Is everything okay?
I gained a pound. Just
came back from the gym.
What are you doing calling
me at work about that?
[HERBERT] I warned you
about that angel hair!
I'm running for office.
I'm in the public eye!
[LISA] I have two things to say:
I'm at work here, and Ozempic. Love you.
[DISCONNECT TONE BEEPING]
Let's see, chapter four.
Um, you know, where she's, um, attending
the, uh, Kesteven and
Grantham Girls' School.
[DUNCAN] Mm?
It's almost as if
she's not a little girl.
- How do you mean?
- Well, she has a s
a sense of her destiny
I mean, in the way that you tell it,
that I just
I don't think any
10-year-old would have.
- Oh. Okay, I see.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, so in which specific
passages are you
- are you thinking that?
- Oh, gosh. Um
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Huh, it's your man.
Oh.
Hey. I got steaks.
Should I start the broiler?
It's it's almost 8:30.
No, I'm Mm, we're working.
We never talked about dinner.
Yeah, but you guys gotta eat.
I mean, I got more than enough
food for the three of us.
No, Aidan, I don't
I don't think you get it.
It's it's not that kind of a thing.
No, I I get it.
Just you and me then.
What time you coming up?
I'm not sure, so you
better start without me.
No! I'll I'll wait for ya.
But it it might be late.
I'll wait.
Okay, it's you know, it's fine.
I don't wanna eat alone.
[CARRIE] Okay, but if
you get hungry, then just,
- you know, go ahead and eat.
- [AIDAN] Okay, but listen.
Are you sure he doesn't want to eat?
'Cause I can grill up
these juicy T-bones,
get 'em straight down
here. They're still
They're still sizzlin'.
No, I'm I'm sure.
[SMACKS LEG]
[QUIETLY] 'Kay.
Sorry.
[ANTHONY] Well, it's rent-controlled,
and I'm gonna renovate soon.
I'm not sure about this
butter yellow color, here.
I'm thinking more of a squash.
Well, you like the risotto?
I've been seasoning the mushrooms
- since midnight yesterday.
- Oh! [CHUCKLES]
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY]
[PEPPERCORNS SHAKING SOFTLY]
Those are just fun.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[LAUGHING] I owe you an apology.
I haven't been easy on you.
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
What exactly is the problem?
Giuseppe's father was
30 years my senior.
I was just a girl when we met.
We had a passionate love affair,
and he turned my whole
world upside-down.
That sounds lovely. What a gift!
It was, until reality hit.
Here I was, in the prime of my life,
my career, my sexual power!
And I had to become a full-time nurse.
It was very difficult.
So, young lover, dying old man,
is not the scenario I want for my son.
Surely, you understand.
No, I don't understand.
And what does this have to do me?
I'm 58!
Alright, I'm 59.
Sixty-two, final offer.
And this sounds more like a
you problem than a me problem.
- Forget about us.
- Yeah.
What about Giuseppe?
I raised him in a world
of beautiful things.
Beautiful art, beautiful villas.
"Villas," plural. We have three.
What can you offer? He
can't live on bread alone.
Bread and love.
Don't forget love. I
love your son very much.
[OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[AMERICAN ACCENT] Let's
cut the shit, shall we?
How much for you to get the
fuck out of Giuseppe's life?
Name a price.
[SCOFFS] You think I
don't know what you are?
I come from this.
You sit there with your
fancy airs and your accent,
but you're not Dottoressa
Gianna Amato from Rome
or even Gia Brunetti from Buffalo.
You're my manipulative Aunt Michalena,
the Boston bookie with a beard.
[CHAIR SCRAPING]
Get your old-man ass
out of my baby's life!
He deserves more than
you, your sticky rice,
your salt-and-penis shakers!
[ITEMS CLATTER, DISHES SHATTERING]
Someone needs a good therapist.
- [GASPS]
- Know any?
I my God, what did I do?
I'm so sorry. I I will clean this up.
I told you, she's trying to kill me.
- [EXCLAIMS] No.
- [KNIFE CLANGING]
Va bene.
I was just trying to pick it up.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[GIANNA GAGS]
What's all that? What did she just say?
Um, she said, um
"Thank you for dinner."
Okay. Let's think that.
[OPERA MUSIC ENDS]
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Oh. Good, you're still up.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry about dinner.
I would've come up earlier,
you know, if we were working on my book.
But he's just he's been so generous,
so I felt like I owed him.
[SIGHS] But thank you for
being so understanding.
[CARRIE SIGHING]
Uh-uh, no. Get get away from me.
You you smell like smoke.
Come on. Go take a shower.
[AIDAN SIGHS]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS] What what
are you doing in here?
You told me to get away, so
Carrie, come on. Just come back to bed.
No. Good night.
- [CHUCKLING] Seriously?
- Yeah, seriously.
- Are you
- Please shut the door.
[AIDAN SIGHS]
[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]
[FOOD SIZZLING]
- Hey, I'm making breakfast.
- I'm going for a walk.
What, are you still mad?
I have no reason not to be.
Okay, fuck it, I'll stay mad, too.
Is this because I talked to him?
I distinctly asked you not to.
I'm standing on the
terrace, the guy comes out.
It would be weird not to say "hello."
Why were you on the terrace?
What?
I'm asking. Why were you on the terrace?
- I was getting some air.
- [CHUCKLES] No, no, no, sorry.
You were there waiting
for him to come out
so you could talk to him.
Oh, really? Why the
fuck would I do that?
To figure out if there's
something going on between us.
This is such bullshit, Carrie.
Aidan, you're worried
about me and another man.
That's what all the
neighbor business is about.
Okay, now I'm going for a walk.
No, I'm going for a walk!
Go for a fucking walk!
You know I hate the smell of smoke!
- [FRONT DOOR CLOSES]
- [WOODEN SPOON CLATTERING]
- [LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [PATRONS CHATTERING]
Hey, Carrie. I am slammed.
- But I'm gonna be right with you, okay?
- Oh, thanks.
- I'm just looking today, Daniel.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I ordered you an iced tea.
- Thanks.
So, I've been thinking about
everything that happened
and what you said.
And you're right. I hate to admit it.
But I do have trust issues
with you around other men.
And last night, it
didn't help that we were
- both hungry and
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
"Have" or "had"?
Huh?
You said you have trust issues
when it comes to me and men. "Have."
You should have said "had."
You "had" trust issues. Past tense.
Okay, what's your
point? It's just a word.
No, it's not just a word.
It's revealing of how you feel.
Sorry, I'm not a writer like
you and Sherlock Holmes
I have done nothing!
Nothing!
Do you hear yourself, how how jealous
and suspicious you sound?
Well, can you fucking blame me?
Can you stop fucking blaming me?
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
- [CARRIE] No.
- We'll be right back.
[HOST] Saltzman, party of five?
- Carrie?
- [PEDESTRIAN] Hey, man.
- [CARRIE] Excuse me.
- Carrie.
- Carrie, stop! Come on!
- How dare you!
No, really, how dare you.
How is it possible
that I haven't earned your trust by now?
I have done everything to show you
how fully committed I am to you.
I have moved mountains and apartments.
I I have agreed to arrangements,
arrangements that even you
yourself couldn't live up to!
I was 100% in.
One hundred percent! And still, you
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, stop, you
No.
"Was" or "are"? Because you just said,
"I was 100% in," so
is it "was," or are you still 100% in?
Was.
I can't give you any more than
I have, and it wasn't enough.
And there's all the family stuff.
I'm sorry, but there is.
[CHOKING UP] I need a hundred.
So do I.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRYING] I'm sad.
I really thought we were
gonna make it this time.
[VOICE SHAKING] Yeah, I'm sad too.
[AIDAN SNIFFLES]
["HOW DID IT END?"
BY TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYING]
[AIDAN SIGHS]
Uh-oh ♪
Uh-oh, oh, oh ♪
We hereby conduct this post-mortem ♪
He was a hothouse
flower to my outdoorsman ♪
Our maladies were such
we could not cure them ♪
And so a touch that was my
birthright became foreign ♪
Come one, come all,
it's happenin' again ♪
- The empathetic hunger descends ♪
- [SHOE MEOWS]
We'll tell no one
except all of our friends ♪
We must know ♪
How did it end? ♪
Uh-oh ♪
Uh-oh, oh, oh ♪
We were blind to
unforeseen circumstances ♪
We learned the right
steps to different dances ♪
[CARRIE] The woman had
thought that she and her love
were very present,
but now realized they were
still locked in the past
which meant, of course,
that they had no future.
Soon, they'll go
home to their husbands ♪
Smug 'cause they know
they can trust him ♪
Then feverishly
calling their cousins ♪
Ooh ♪
Guess who we ran into at the shops? ♪
Walking in circles like she was lost ♪
Didn't you hear? ♪
They called it all off ♪
One gasp, and then ♪
How did it end? ♪
♪
Say it once again with feeling ♪
How the death rattle breathing ♪
Silenced as the soul was leaving ♪
The deflation of our dreaming ♪
Leaving me bereft and reeling ♪
My beloved ghost and
me sitting in a tree ♪
♪
D-Y-I-N-G ♪
It's happenin' again ♪
How did it end? ♪
I can't pretend like I understand ♪
How did it end? ♪