Elsbeth (2024) s03e09 Episode Script
Glamazons
1
JULIAN: It's T-minus one week
until the 25th anniversary
of the iconic "Glamazons" cover story
for Dress Up magazine,
written by yours truly.
The lovely legends
plan to recreate their famous
cover photo after decades
of separation and bad blood.
Madison Fortune and her husband,
Thomas "TJ" James
are spearheading the reunion.
They say it'll be all about healing,
about inclusivity,
about showing the world how far
models have come from the wicked '90s.
THE QUESTION: will Tiff Giles
disfigured in a violent street attack
and long out of public view
join her fellow models
in front of the camera?
Fashionistas agree it wouldn't
be the same without her.
Blast from the past.
You got to be kidding me.
You don't return calls.
I had to drive all the way
to Chester, Pennsylvania
just to beg in person.
All right. So, go ahead, beg.
Give me one good reason
why I should come.
You look incredible, for starters.
The world should see
what a real shero looks like.
Shero?
That's the name of my new agency.
(CHUCKLES): Oh, that's right.
The meanest of the mean girls
preaching inclusivity and
sisterhood that's hilarious.
I mean it, Tiff.
And you embody everything
I want the agency to be.
It's important you're there.
Yeah, well, it's important to you.
My presence there shows everyone
that all is forgiven
while you try to launch your new brand.
- Isn't it time?
- Is it?
What else you got?
Some regrets.
I had to take half a Benny,
like old times, just to walk in here.
Oh. Well, that is interesting.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Do you have something
you need to say to me?
We never really
talked about what happened.
I should have come to see you
at the hospital
like the other girls, not flown
off to do some photo shoot.
That was deeply uncool.
Eh, we were never friends,
we were rivals.
- You didn't owe me anything.
- Still.
I need you to know how horrible
TJ and I felt that morning.
W Which morning?
- Hmm?
- Well,
they didn't ID me
until later that afternoon,
and the story didn't break
until that night.
It was the morning after the attack.
And you two were in the Hamptons
when all this happened, right?
I guess you were still there?
Or, no, wait the morning after,
you must have been on
that flight to Hawaii already.
It was so long ago.
The details get fuzzy.
But it's always haunted me.
Just wanted you to know that, I-I guess.
Sorry to rip up old wounds.
Well, wait. Stay, have a drink.
I mean, you
you came all the way here.
Can't mix it with the Benny,
especially if I'm driving.
Rain check, though?
Maybe in New York?
It really would mean a lot
if you came, Tiff.
Will you at least think about it?
I'll think about it.
Don't wobble. Right?
Oh, hey, wait, you left your bag.
MADISON: For expenses.
("COVER GIRL" BY RUPAUL PLAYING)
Nabria, no, just, uh, stand by.
I have her here in case
Tiff doesn't show.
Maybe having a new face
blended in with the legends
- could be stunning.
- Always a step ahead.
Well, that's why you keep me around.
- I am the fantasy ♪
- (GASPS)
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
- (SQUEALS)
- Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Welcome home, Tiffany.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
Oh, no makeup. We shoot as we are.
Amen. So it will be.
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk. ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Glamazons,
meet the sheroes.
Nabria escaped the war in South Sudan,
Sveta is a refugee from Kyiv.
Um, what's with this one?
MADISON: Harper is from New Jersey.
- Mm.
- She struggles with ADHD.
Ah.
MADISON: Beautiful faces
from ugly places.
Ooh. Is that your slogan?
I believe strongly
you should keep workshopping.
Hey, how's that beauty-
slash-office supply business
- working out for you?
- The market wasn't ready.
- Mm-hmm.
- You used to live here, too?
Yeah, it was a very long time ago.
But I feel like that
makes us sisters, somehow.
We're going to a vodka launch
party tonight. You should come.
It's called Free-Cycle.
Sir David Attenborough's
first endorsed spirit.
Sveta, you want to tell us about it?
Free-Cycle is the world's first
carbon negative vodka,
sustainably produced
from unwanted baked goods,
discarded banana peels
and ugly vegetables that would
otherwise be put in a landfill.
And it's smooth and delicious.
- Isn't she good?
- So, it's made of garbage?
HARPER: Hey, it's 80 proof,
free all night,
and the party's on a yacht.
With all the right VIPs.
Oh, still the same old TJ.
But, I mean, I knew that
the second your wife dropped off
a bag of cash for me.
Oh, hey, whatever it takes.
They should put that on your tombstone.
But not anytime soon. Drinks?
I'll be back.
What Oh.
Oh, it's amazing to be back.
JULIAN: It is amazing, isn't it?
How did it all come about? I mean,
- who called who?
- Who let this creep in here?
- Why does it matter, Julian?
- This is the first time
in 25 years that all four Glamazons
have been together in the same room.
My readers will want
all the juicy details.
All ten of them?
Come on, who made the first move?
You all hate each other, right?
Come on. Let's go.
- Excuse me.
- Let's go.
- Uh, w-why?
- Go.
JULIAN: Get-get off. Get off.
(GLASS CLATTERS SOFTLY)
(GASPS, EXHALES)
You scared me.
Sorry.
Took the secret entrance
for old time's sake.
Didn't sneak any boys
in with you this time?
Nah, I left them all at the party
with your United Nations of models.
(LAUGHS)
Where's TJ? It's so quiet in here.
Ah, he's in his man cave.
Usually comes up after I'm asleep.
Yeah, that romance is red-hot.
- (CHUCKLES)
- I see the old bar's still here.
Let's have some wine spritzers
in Ms. Helen's honor.
You owe me a rain check.
I remember.
And it's been a rare "no Benny" day,
so let's chin chin.
TIFFANY: Can't believe you're in
Miss Helen's old living quarters.
- Looks exactly the same.
- Yeah.
That was the idea
when we took it over
refurbish a little, re-brand,
but mostly leave it alone.
I'm coming down.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll bring it up to you, madame.
(SHORT CHUCKLE)
(SIGHS)
Miss Helen used to
stand up here and watch over us,
make sure we were behaving.
She was pretty easy to fool.
Yeah.
She thought the best of people.
Till she couldn't.
You know you messed up, right?
Back at my bar?
What are you talking about?
I mean, your alibi was always shaky,
but now you can't even keep it straight.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
You and TJ were behind my attack.
Did you put something in my drink?
Just admit it and everything'll be fine.
Tiff
Tiff, it-it was TJ, okay?
TJ did it, not me.
(EXHALES) I was s
- so mad at him when he
- No, no, no, no.
No more games. It was a joint alibi.
You were both in on it.
And now you're both gonna pay.
Aah!
Don't wobble.
She must have overdone
the Bennies and fallen.
FLEMING: Did your wife
overdo it regularly, Mr. James?
No, it just helps helped
her sleep.
God, I'm so pissed I wasn't there.
Where were you?
Down in my man cave with my headphones,
just chilling with some edibles.
I didn't hear a thing,
then I came up, there she was.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is this another very attractive
basketball team?
No. Those are models.
This is a model house.
They live here? (GASPS SOFTLY)
That's very glamorous.
Was anyone else home at the time?
I don't think so. They were
all out at a party, and
But I don't even know
what time she fell.
You two have a fight?
Is that why you were in separate places?
No. What are you trying to say?
Everything was great.
GRACE: It's a weak alibi.
And that fall could be
consistent with domestic abuse.
But he does seem truly upset, though.
FLEMING: Maybe he didn't intend
to have it to go that far.
(DOOR OPENS)
Ooh, who's that?
FLEMING: Tiff Giles.
Used to be a supermodel.
Been to hell and back.
Hi.
I'm Els Oh, sorry.
I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.
I'm sort of with the police.
TIFFANY: Another attack?
I hope you people do better this time.
And I'll tell you something.
This whole world?
It isn't pretty.
Apparently not.
I've been reading up
on the Glamazons. Boy!
That was a wild time.
Where were you back then?
Oh. I was in law school.
I had the high-waisted pants,
which are back.
And the bixie haircut.
The cross between a bob
and a pixie, a la Meg Ryan.
Oh, gosh, I love Meg Ryan.
And I wept when my pet Tamagotchi died.
Boy, I really did that decade.
Glamazons were bigger
than Beanie Babies.
Yeah, and it seems like Tiff Giles
was the "it girl," at least
until that attack. That was
ooh, that was brutal.
Seemed like a random robbery gone wrong.
No one was ever arrested.
I'm gonna have to ask Nadine about that.
Mm. Not sure it had anything to do with
Madison Fortune's death, though.
Well, there were four
Glamazons, and now two of them
Tiff and Madison have now
been victims of violent crimes.
I mean, is that just bad luck?
Maybe the connection was Thomas James.
He was around for both.
You know the guy, Captain?
Uh, yeah, back in the day.
We used to patrol the clubs.
Limelight, Area, Palladium.
TJ was always with a
string of young models.
I don't know what his game was,
but he seemed sleazy as hell.
Well, that makes him icky,
but not necessarily a murderer.
Security footage showed only residents
going in and out that night,
so the suspect pool is limited.
And, by TJ's own admission,
he never left the building.
Well, he asked permission to
make funeral arrangements today.
I'm having an officer tail him,
see where he goes, what he does.
(KNOCKING)
The models arrived.
Somehow, seeing them here is
even worse for my self-esteem.
Just remember, they may be stunning,
but we can solve crimes.
(WEAK CHUCKLE)
She saved me from war
and got me Invisalign.
Ms. Maddy was my shero.
SVETA: I feel bad.
We were partying so hard
while Ms. Madison was falling down.
But we were drinking the garbage vodka,
so I hope we made her proud.
Who will look after us now?
This sucks.
But the brand launch was kinda bomb.
There was a vodka bottle ice luge
and I danced with some of the Knicks
and that actor who kissed
his brother on White Lotus.
NABRIA: We got to the party
at about 10:00
and we came home when the sun rose.
Mr. TJ was standing over her body.
How had TJ seemed lately?
Anything out of the ordinary?
I was surprised he wasn't
on the yacht with us.
He's usually there,
introducing us around.
He's actually been staying home a lot,
hiding out in his man cave.
No one knows what he's doing.
Seems suss as hell.
TJ was keeping secrets.
I think she was concerned.
Oh, yes, I was on the yacht as well.
I danced all night
and made out with the DJ,
- just like old times.
- (GIGGLES)
Nadine, you're incredible.
I had to keep up with the sheroes.
Even politically aware models
seem to party pretty hard.
Call them what you will,
models are still models,
- and vodka is still vodka.
- Yeah.
So, you lived in a model house.
That is so intriguing.
Can you tell me how that works?
Well, models live rent-free
in exchange for going to parties
and entertaining VIPs, mostly men.
Before Insta,
it was the only way to be seen.
Girls still do it, though.
- And what's TJ's role?
- TJ's a promoter.
He gets paid by the party
planners to bring the girls
and make the introductions.
Sounds like the models are put in some
pretty tricky situations.
Did you ever object to anything?
I was a 17-year-old girl from Moldova.
Who was I to ask questions?
Moldova? Wow.
I never could place the accent.
But I thought you said you were
walking runways in Milan
- and Paris by age 14.
- I Who can remember?
But I was a kid.
And I got swept up in it. We all did.
So, TJ met Madison in the model house?
Oh, yes. Separately, they were crazy.
Together, they were
crazy for each other.
It was all flames and fire.
Huh. Maybe it burned too hot?
- Do you think TJ could have killed her?
- No.
Even at the reunion,
they were partners in crime,
and I believe strongly that
Clyde would never kill Bonnie.
Yeah, I know. No. (SIGHS)
I have to fill the club
for the two-drink minimum
so Mr. Titters will have me back.
It's my first featured set,
you have to come.
Got to go.
Something fun afoot?
Um
Hey.
I have something I need to tell you.
Now.
Madison came to see me at my
bar in Pennsylvania last week.
Said she wanted to leave
her husband and start fresh.
I figured you should know that.
Did she say why?
I mean, TJ always had a temper,
tried to control her,
and now she was convinced
that he was drugging her, too.
Said she was tired all the time.
What else did Madison say?
She said she was scared
and that she felt like a fraud.
I mean, how could she pretend
that she's this evolved,
independent woman when she's
hiding her own abuse?
She said she wanted me to
come to New York to support her
when she left him.
Had you been aware
that things were this bad?
No. We hadn't seen each other in years.
Why would she confide in you, then?
Doesn't that seem odd?
No, I mean, we were roommates
back in the day. We had a bond.
And Madison was finally realizing
that I was right about TJ
after all this time.
I mean, that's why we had fallen out.
'Cause I didn't like him or trust him.
You think TJ could have killed her?
Well, he would get nothing
if she divorced him,
but if something happened to Madison,
he would get everything,
including his stake in the agency.
Not hard to connect those dots.
You're welcome.
The forensic report came in,
Captain, and it's a doozy.
(SIGHS) Sorry.
I never actually eat
when I'm with Nadine.
Uh
Go ahead.
Along with the fall, uh,
Madison Fortune died from a lethal mix
of Benzodiazepine and alcohol.
All the bottles
and surface areas in the bar
were wiped clean
which is suspicious in itself
but a glass was discovered in the trash
with traces of
the Bennies and the white wine
and Thomas James' fingerprints
smudged on the surface.
That's basically the murder weapon.
FLEMING: It's neat and clean, Captain.
- Motive, means and opportunity.
- Oh
Well, I, for one, won't shed a tear
when we lock this dude up.
Yeah, but if you were planning
on murdering your wife,
wouldn't you come up with
a better alibi than
hanging out in your man cave?
And are we just taking
Tiff's word for the motive?
- You didn't believe her?
- Well,
anything could have happened
in that bar in Pennsylvania.
The models backed Tiff's story,
though.
They said there seemed to be trouble
in the marriage.
Not Nadine Clay.
(IMITATES NADINE):
She believes strongly Clyde
would never kill Bonnie.
(KNOCKING)
What do you got?
GRACE: Uh, just heard
from the officer tailing Thomas James.
After going to the funeral home,
he went straight to his insurance agent,
checked on the size of Madison's
death benefit.
In other words, what's in it for him.
His attorney should be here any minute.
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, guys,
Officer Hackett's
doing her stand-up tonight.
It's her first featured set.
That's great.
Yeah, but she hasn't invited us,
even though she needs to fill
the house to get another show.
Well, some people
don't like to mix worlds.
I get that. She might feel like
her parents are in the house, you know,
and get self-conscious.
Oh, nonsense.
We're gonna support Officer Hackett.
She's a friend and colleague.
And besides, isn't anyone else curious?
TJ: This is crazy. I'd never hurt
Madison. She was my whole world.
FLEMING: Then can you tell us why you
stayed home the night
of the murder instead of going
to the party with your models?
Just tell them the truth.
I've been preparing for an
audit from the IRS,
trying to get my paper trail in order.
See, I've been paid
under the table, in cash,
since the 90s. I'm in big trouble.
FLEMING: Did Madison know?
TJ: I didn't want her
thinking less of me.
That's why he's been
hiding out in his man cave,
- trying to fix it.
- And why he killed his wife
for the death benefit.
He needed to pay the government
to stay out of jail.
I would never.
It was only after Madison was
gone that I even thought about
- her money, I swear.
- Try selling that to a jury.
So, what, the truth doesn't even matter?
We're submitting TJ's computer
for forensic examination.
You'll see he was online all night.
This is the glass that served
Madison Fortune her fatal drink.
Your prints are all over it.
How do you explain that?
It's from the cocktail party.
The caterers brought that.
It isn't even ours.
- Someone must be framing me.
- FLEMING: Oh, come on.
Who hated you so much to kill your wife
and set you up to take the fall?
Tiff Giles.
She hates us that much.
FLEMING: Why?
TJ: Well, she has this crazy idea
that we were behind her attack.
Were you?
Look, the statute of limitations
has been over longer than Zima.
If you think Tiff killed Madison,
then it only helps your point.
So, what do you have to lose?
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
Aw
Screw it, Naya.
Okay, yeah. It was us.
Um, but it wasn't
supposed to be that bad.
It was a major screw-up.
FLEMING: What was your motive?
There was an article in the Dress Up.
Uh, that creep made Tiffany the star,
which got her the Swimsuit Issue,
which everyone thought
was supposed to go to Maddy,
you know? It's
We went out to a bar, and
the Tonya Harding thing was on the TV
and we kind of got inspired.
And then Madison kept egging me on.
And I left, and I-I was waiting
for Tiff to come home
from the club, and I put on a mask.
And I was only supposed
to injure her enough so that she
wouldn't be able to do the shoot,
and M-Maddy could take her place.
But then Tiff fell on her Discman
and her Jewel CD
popped out and wound up
cutting her face.
And she got knocked out.
It was really scary.
Well, did you do anything to help her?
Did you call an ambulance?
TJ: Um
You just left her there?
Guess she finally got her revenge.
But just 'cause she has a reason
doesn't make it right, right?
Like, legally, right?
TJ's prints were on the glass
and he took the money.
Seems like a Hail Mary to me.
Well, I'm still curious to see
how Tiff reacts to his confession.
I went through all the social media
for the vodka launch party.
There are no posts
featuring Tiffany Giles
after 9:47 PM.
So she could have left early?
Yeah, and the expensive hotel
that she picked
has a private entrance.
It's for guests who need discretion.
So, Tiff could have been anywhere
the night of the murder.
There's also something strange
about the Bennies.
Madison's prescription
had just been filled,
only two pills missing.
But there was the equivalent of
at least six mixed into the spritzer.
GRACE: Exactly.
Did the killer bring their
own supply that night?
(DOOR BUZZES, LOCK CLICKS)
Okay, girls,
that was the lean and twist.
Now let's try the contrapposto.
NADINE: Uh, let's focus, please.
Models need to be on the second
the spotlight hits them.
As Maddy and I used to
say to each other backstage,
"Don't wobble."
Pretty handy advice, no?
If you're ever in the spotlight.
Huh. Yeah, and Nadine
is an excellent coach.
I never would have been able
to clomp like a donkey without her.
Excuse me. (CHUCKLES)
Can we steal Tiff for a moment?
Oh, do you have news?
(GASPS) Yeah. Okay.
TJ has confessed to your attack.
What?
After all these years?
He admitted he and Madison
were behind it.
Oh, no.
I-I always suspected TJ,
but I refuse to believe
that Maddy was involved.
I mean, she was my friend.
His words, not ours.
But why confess after all these years?
I mean, the statute
of limitations has run out.
Like, what-what advantage
does he think it gives him?
TJ was trying to prove that
someone had a big enough grudge
to kill Madison and frame him
for the murder.
Wait, me?
He's throwing suspicion on me?
GRACE: Can you prove you went back
to your hotel after the yacht party?
- We know you didn't stay long.
- (TIFFANY SCOFFS)
I left the model house
after the reunion shoot
and never went back that night, period.
I mean, how can you guys
believe a word that guy says?
He's just trying to save himself.
Bennies?
No, it's Advil.
I-I still get headaches
from the attack.
I've never taken those.
Mm. But you knew Madison did, right?
I mean, you two shared a room.
Yeah, 25 years ago.
When she also drank 14 Diet Cokes a day
and lived off candy bars.
Look, it is TJ, her killer,
who knows her habits now.
I thought you had become
Madison's confidante.
Oh.
You're one of those women, aren't you?
What women?
The kind
that have hated on me my whole life.
Just jealous, trying to tear me down.
That's not true.
I always try to lift people up.
Yet you're believing a man
over me right now.
A man who's obviously guilty,
a man with a history
of exploiting women.
And that is all I need to know
about you, Ms. Tascioni.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've had enough for today.
Think you might have hit a nerve.
SVETA: I'm sorry that my beauty
is the more societally
accepted standard.
I cannot control how he's
conditioned to see, Nabria.
Not to slut-shame you, my sister,
but you did let your towel drop.
NADINE: All right, my darlings, no.
Shh, shh. I cannot.
I cannot.
Nadine. What's the rumpus?
Oh. Nabria snuck a guy
from the yacht into the loft
but didn't realize
Sveta liked him as well,
and now it's a whole
respectful talkathon.
I miss the days when we used to scream,
pull each other's hair and smash things
until the cops were called.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
Wait. You're saying there's a secret way
in and out of this building?
Oh, yes. We used to call it
the Leo latch,
in honor of you-know-who's
secret late-night forays.
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you sneak guys in and out
when you lived here, too?
Yes. And carbs.
Mm.
- Can you show us?
- Yes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gloves and booties, everyone.
Ugh.
(GASPS SOFTLY)
- You-know-who really did this?
- Oh, yes.
Men would do anything
for models. It is so sweet.
And sad.
Ha. TJ was right.
It's not a match.
Did Tiff and Madison
ever fight over a guy?
Only many times.
Mostly Julian Simons.
He wrote the original article.
He always caused so many problems.
- I mean, he still does.
- FLEMING: What do you mean?
Oh, TJ kicked him out
of the cocktail reception
for being too nosy
with Tiff and Madison.
What was he asking about?
Mostly their newfound sisterhood.
Julian wasn't buying it?
I guess not. And he is the authority
on all things Glamazon.
He invented the term, so
he must know something. (SCOFFS)
He's obsessed.
As if we're so fascinating.
Just kidding. We are.
Nadine Clay was talking about me?
She said you were
the top Glamazon expert.
Knew where all the bodies were buried.
(SHORT CHUCKLE)
Am I a suspect?
What makes you think that?
Because TJ and Madison
ruined my life, too.
- Really? How so?
- They started a rumor
that Tiff slept with me
to make her the star of my story.
My editor at Dress Up believed it.
I got fired.
- Well, had she slept with you?
- No.
I'm gay, surprise.
But
Tiff did shower me with attention,
and I guess I fell under her spell.
Especially since the other Glamazons
treated me like a schlubby wannabe.
(SCOFFS) This world is not pretty.
FLEMING: Your article made them mad.
But that's not why they ruined me.
I kept asking questions
about Tiff's attack
even after the police dropped the case.
TJ and Madison wanted me silenced.
I've been blackballed ever since.
- So you always suspected them?
- Sure.
I could see how nasty it was
getting in the model house.
And TJ was a crazy boy.
He'd do anything for his girl.
FLEMING: What was the source
of the friction?
Tiff stole aspects
of Madison's look and attitude,
kind of Single White Femaled her.
So, Madison started playing dirty, too.
My article didn't help.
It seems like you did a lot
for Tiff's career.
Did you keep in touch?
Not after the story came out.
She used me.
Do you think she's capable of murder?
If she found proof that TJ and Madison
were behind the attack
I think she'd be capable of anything.
We know you were with them
at the cocktail reception.
How did Madison and Tiff seem?
Tiff said they made up.
They toasted, but things were
still pretty tense.
That's why I started asking questions
and TJ had me thrown out.
So you saw them drinking together?
Do you remember if TJ put his glass down
before he showed you out?
I didn't notice, but he definitely
needed both hands to deal with me.
I go to the gym.
Tiff could have pilfered
we don't use that word enough
the glass with TJ's fingerprints
while TJ was throwing Julian Simons
out of the reception.
And we now know Tiff could have
snuck into the model house
- using the Leo latch.
- What's that?
Ooh, it's a secret entrance
named after
Never mind, I don't care.
Uh, so you're saying that
Tiffany Giles could have gotten into
and out of the murder site
without being seen?
- Yes.
- And TJ was on his computer
working on his taxes most of the night.
And Tiff is a bartender.
So she would know
how to mix the, um drink.
A wine spritzer.
That's literally two ingredients.
Now, look, this is all
circumstantial.
We don't have any evidence
to connect Tiff to the actual crime.
And TJ had his
preliminary hearing today.
The judge sent it to the grand jury.
They're expected to indict.
(SCOFFS) Like a ham sandwich.
Oh, now I'm hungry again.
So, there's nothing else we can do?
Bring Tiffany back in,
see if she rattles.
But if this was a frame job,
it was a pretty tight one.
Hi, Tiff.
So, it seems like
the rivalry between you
and Madison was pretty fierce.
Julian Simons told us
Madison put ground glass in your shoe
so your foot bled
when you walked the runway.
Because you let Madison oversleep
so you could steal a job from her.
I mean, really, it sounds like
you were both at war.
Okay, Julian is a writer.
He loves to embellish.
But there was video of your
bloody foot on the runway.
That was pretty real.
You were pretty determined.
Nobody was gonna stop me in those days.
Until somebody did.
Oh, that (CLICKS TONGUE)
That attack. Oh, gosh.
That attack
it must have made you feel
Bitter, cursed,
crazy, robbed of my future,
ashamed of my face,
drugged-out, depressed, unlovable?
Yeah, the same way anybody would feel.
- What is the point to this?
- Did you want revenge?
Because it would really
be understandable if you did.
Yeah, that's what I wanted
for a long time.
But it got me nowhere.
I mean, I-I didn't even
know who to blame.
And you never wanted to try
modeling again?
'Cause that eye patch it could
have been your new trademark.
My spirit was broken.
And I felt like Madison
had taken my place,
so
Then why'd you come back to New York?
To heal. To
to get closure.
To support my sister Madison.
To help these models
who are just starting out.
I mean
And then Maddy got murdered.
And now you're trying
to traumatize me again.
It's ghoulish.
I I'm not gonna sit here and take it.
Hey, hey, we both know
Madison wasn't your sister.
She was your rival.
You came in through
the Leo latch with a plan,
and you carried it out.
Hey, you already have your killer.
- I don't think we do.
- TJ admitted
to attacking me. You know he's violent.
There's a mountain of evidence.
What more do you need?
There are some things that just
Do you have anything to hold me on now
or not?
Yeah. That's what I thought.
You cops
you're useless.
Always were.
I'm gonna go home now.
Give it up again for my buddy Jim!
- (APPLAUSE)
- Don't wobble.
COMIC: Okay, let's keep it going
for our next featured comic.
I have seen her, she is funny.
And, hey, no heckling.
It will end up on the Internet,
you will look like a jerk,
and you won't get laid,
so don't do it, okay?
All right, let's please
welcome Grace Hackett.
- Yay!
- GRACE: Hi.
All right, um I'm Grace.
What can I tell you? Uh, I am single.
I am from Queens.
I'm a Mets fan.
Yes. Oh, my fellow masochist, hello.
I am also
a New York City police officer.
Ooh! Feel that awkward
energy shift in the room?
Feels like every date I've ever had.
But then I remind them I have handcuffs.
Yeah, see, my problem
is I am attracted to bad boys.
I'm always putting perps
up against a wall
and frisking 'em.
"You have the right to remain silent.
You also have the right to
call me, if you're into it."
(WAGNER AND FLEMING LAUGHING)
Oh, my You can never
find a cop when you need one,
and then your whole precinct
turns up at your show.
- Don't mind us.
- Yeah, do your thing.
GRACE: That's my captain.
He likes to order big
sushi lunches to the office.
Yeah, your tax dollars hard
at work, ladies and gentlemen.
- Hey, I pay for those.
- Eh, tell it to Internal Affairs.
- (FLEMING LAUGHS)
- And there's Detective Buzz.
You've heard of stop-and-frisk?
Buzz invented turn-and-avoid!
What else can I tell you
that'll, uh,
put my real career in jeopardy?
I'm Grace. You've been great.
Thank you.
So, that's what she thinks of us?
What's wrong with sushi for lunch?
I thought it sounded affectionate.
But why no jokes about me?
Not even one.
Ivy?
Captain.
Look, it's Ivy from Joe's Bar.
Hi, Ms. Tascioni. Figured
no one else dresses like that.
(CHUCKLES)
- Wow. Look at you.
- Yeah.
- I'm the head bartender here.
- Aw.
Joe may have been a killer,
but I learned a lot watching him.
Mm.
Hey, what did you just do there?
Oh, the That? The flipping
of the foil? Pro habit.
Do most bartenders do that?
Yeah, the ones I know. (SIGHS)
I always forget to throw them out.
We've all discussed it.
You're the one who understands.
We trust you, and hope you will
hear our plea, Ms. Tiffany.
What's all this?
Oh. Well, if you must know,
TJ's out of the picture now,
but the Sheroes Modeling
Agency is going to continue.
We need someone to look after us.
We've asked Tiff to stay.
Oh, so you're gonna take
Madison's place at the agency
the way she took your place on
the cover of Sports Illustrated?
It's, uh, it's kinda been their "thing."
Take a look, ladies.
We are not gonna treat
each other like this anymore.
I will make sure of it.
Does this mean you say yes?
Sorry, Tiffany
won't be available for, say,
25 years to life.
GRACE: Yeah, the perp-walk
will be your last runway.
Don't wobble.
You're not as funny
as you think you are.
Look, arrest me or leave me alone.
Tiffany Giles, you are under arrest
- for the murder of Madison Fortune.
- Wait, wait, wait,
- what-what are you doing?
- ELSBETH: Oh!
We have your fingerprints now.
Oh, really? Then you planted 'em.
'Cause my prints aren't on anything.
You wiped down the bottles,
the door handles,
the railings overlooking the loft
And it was TJ's prints
on the glass that you pilfered
huh, used it again
when TJ kicked poor Julian
out of that reception.
The same glass
that you planted at the
(POPS LIPS) crime scene
to frame TJ for the murder.
You only made one mistake.
You left your prints
on the murder weapon,
which is to say the wine bottle
used to make the drugged spritzer.
TIFFANY: No, I didn't.
When you cut the foil
off the wine bottle, you
flipped it into your apron pocket,
but you forgot to throw it away.
You left a thumbprint
on the aluminum,
and it was a perfect match.
Oh, if it makes you feel any better,
a lot of bartenders
make the same mistake.
But, of course, most of them are not
trying to cover up a murder.
You did it.
I only have one question, though.
Why now, after all these years?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Madison slipped up when
she came to see me at the bar.
She blew her and TJ's alibi
for the night of my attack.
I couldn't let them get away with that.
FLEMING: Tiffany Ann Giles,
you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will
be used against you in a court of law.
What will happen to us now?
Give Nadine Clay a call.
(IMITATES NADINE): I believe
strongly that she's wonderful.
(REGULAR VOICE): And she might be ready
for her next move.
Heck of a week.
Not only did we solve our case,
but Officer Hackett
killed at her showcase.
Aw. (CHUCKLES)
I don't know about that, but, uh,
Mr. Titters is gonna have me back.
- (GASPS) Oh
- Hey!
You know, you guys
didn't say much after the set.
- I hope I didn't offend anyone.
- What?!
No. You were "high-larious."
And you didn't actually invite us,
- so we deserved whatever we got.
- Well,
it's really just a persona.
Of course. And there were
no jokes about me anyway,
so, I'm lucky, I guess,
to, um, to not be included.
But why wasn't I included?
I can take a joke.
Oh, Elsbeth, a consent decree lawyer
is just it's way too hard
to explain to an audience.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
- Nice.
- Well, when you're on Way Late,
we can say we knew you when.
Oh, that's not actually
Look, Captain, I enjoy my comedy,
but this is my work.
Unless lightning strikes, which,
eh, I don't expect, I mean,
this is my career.
I'm learning so much
from all of you. I
I hope I didn't mess this up.
Officer Hackett
I'm the that insisted
we go to your show.
This work is intense.
We see most people on their worst days.
It's important to have an outlet.
I wanted to support that.
Thank you, sir.
Aw. Do you have an outlet, Captain?
I mean, besides poker?
Ah, well, I messed around
with some things during the lockdown,
but nothing I'd burden an audience with.
I'm not as brave as Officer Hackett.
ELSBETH: What about you, Buzz?
I'm a lifelong Mets fan, too.
Used to sit
up in the nosebleeds and pray
for Dave Kingman to hit a home run.
It's always been my thing.
- You are kidding.
- (IMITATES EXPLOSION)
Oh, Twinsies again.
So cute.
(CHUCKLES)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(TROMBONE PLAYING A GENTLE TUNE
IN DISTANCE)
JULIAN: It's T-minus one week
until the 25th anniversary
of the iconic "Glamazons" cover story
for Dress Up magazine,
written by yours truly.
The lovely legends
plan to recreate their famous
cover photo after decades
of separation and bad blood.
Madison Fortune and her husband,
Thomas "TJ" James
are spearheading the reunion.
They say it'll be all about healing,
about inclusivity,
about showing the world how far
models have come from the wicked '90s.
THE QUESTION: will Tiff Giles
disfigured in a violent street attack
and long out of public view
join her fellow models
in front of the camera?
Fashionistas agree it wouldn't
be the same without her.
Blast from the past.
You got to be kidding me.
You don't return calls.
I had to drive all the way
to Chester, Pennsylvania
just to beg in person.
All right. So, go ahead, beg.
Give me one good reason
why I should come.
You look incredible, for starters.
The world should see
what a real shero looks like.
Shero?
That's the name of my new agency.
(CHUCKLES): Oh, that's right.
The meanest of the mean girls
preaching inclusivity and
sisterhood that's hilarious.
I mean it, Tiff.
And you embody everything
I want the agency to be.
It's important you're there.
Yeah, well, it's important to you.
My presence there shows everyone
that all is forgiven
while you try to launch your new brand.
- Isn't it time?
- Is it?
What else you got?
Some regrets.
I had to take half a Benny,
like old times, just to walk in here.
Oh. Well, that is interesting.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Do you have something
you need to say to me?
We never really
talked about what happened.
I should have come to see you
at the hospital
like the other girls, not flown
off to do some photo shoot.
That was deeply uncool.
Eh, we were never friends,
we were rivals.
- You didn't owe me anything.
- Still.
I need you to know how horrible
TJ and I felt that morning.
W Which morning?
- Hmm?
- Well,
they didn't ID me
until later that afternoon,
and the story didn't break
until that night.
It was the morning after the attack.
And you two were in the Hamptons
when all this happened, right?
I guess you were still there?
Or, no, wait the morning after,
you must have been on
that flight to Hawaii already.
It was so long ago.
The details get fuzzy.
But it's always haunted me.
Just wanted you to know that, I-I guess.
Sorry to rip up old wounds.
Well, wait. Stay, have a drink.
I mean, you
you came all the way here.
Can't mix it with the Benny,
especially if I'm driving.
Rain check, though?
Maybe in New York?
It really would mean a lot
if you came, Tiff.
Will you at least think about it?
I'll think about it.
Don't wobble. Right?
Oh, hey, wait, you left your bag.
MADISON: For expenses.
("COVER GIRL" BY RUPAUL PLAYING)
Nabria, no, just, uh, stand by.
I have her here in case
Tiff doesn't show.
Maybe having a new face
blended in with the legends
- could be stunning.
- Always a step ahead.
Well, that's why you keep me around.
- I am the fantasy ♪
- (GASPS)
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
- (SQUEALS)
- Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Welcome home, Tiffany.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
Oh, no makeup. We shoot as we are.
Amen. So it will be.
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Cover girl ♪
Put the bass in your walk ♪
Head to toe ♪
Let your whole body talk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Now walk ♪
Walk ♪
Now walk. ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Glamazons,
meet the sheroes.
Nabria escaped the war in South Sudan,
Sveta is a refugee from Kyiv.
Um, what's with this one?
MADISON: Harper is from New Jersey.
- Mm.
- She struggles with ADHD.
Ah.
MADISON: Beautiful faces
from ugly places.
Ooh. Is that your slogan?
I believe strongly
you should keep workshopping.
Hey, how's that beauty-
slash-office supply business
- working out for you?
- The market wasn't ready.
- Mm-hmm.
- You used to live here, too?
Yeah, it was a very long time ago.
But I feel like that
makes us sisters, somehow.
We're going to a vodka launch
party tonight. You should come.
It's called Free-Cycle.
Sir David Attenborough's
first endorsed spirit.
Sveta, you want to tell us about it?
Free-Cycle is the world's first
carbon negative vodka,
sustainably produced
from unwanted baked goods,
discarded banana peels
and ugly vegetables that would
otherwise be put in a landfill.
And it's smooth and delicious.
- Isn't she good?
- So, it's made of garbage?
HARPER: Hey, it's 80 proof,
free all night,
and the party's on a yacht.
With all the right VIPs.
Oh, still the same old TJ.
But, I mean, I knew that
the second your wife dropped off
a bag of cash for me.
Oh, hey, whatever it takes.
They should put that on your tombstone.
But not anytime soon. Drinks?
I'll be back.
What Oh.
Oh, it's amazing to be back.
JULIAN: It is amazing, isn't it?
How did it all come about? I mean,
- who called who?
- Who let this creep in here?
- Why does it matter, Julian?
- This is the first time
in 25 years that all four Glamazons
have been together in the same room.
My readers will want
all the juicy details.
All ten of them?
Come on, who made the first move?
You all hate each other, right?
Come on. Let's go.
- Excuse me.
- Let's go.
- Uh, w-why?
- Go.
JULIAN: Get-get off. Get off.
(GLASS CLATTERS SOFTLY)
(GASPS, EXHALES)
You scared me.
Sorry.
Took the secret entrance
for old time's sake.
Didn't sneak any boys
in with you this time?
Nah, I left them all at the party
with your United Nations of models.
(LAUGHS)
Where's TJ? It's so quiet in here.
Ah, he's in his man cave.
Usually comes up after I'm asleep.
Yeah, that romance is red-hot.
- (CHUCKLES)
- I see the old bar's still here.
Let's have some wine spritzers
in Ms. Helen's honor.
You owe me a rain check.
I remember.
And it's been a rare "no Benny" day,
so let's chin chin.
TIFFANY: Can't believe you're in
Miss Helen's old living quarters.
- Looks exactly the same.
- Yeah.
That was the idea
when we took it over
refurbish a little, re-brand,
but mostly leave it alone.
I'm coming down.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll bring it up to you, madame.
(SHORT CHUCKLE)
(SIGHS)
Miss Helen used to
stand up here and watch over us,
make sure we were behaving.
She was pretty easy to fool.
Yeah.
She thought the best of people.
Till she couldn't.
You know you messed up, right?
Back at my bar?
What are you talking about?
I mean, your alibi was always shaky,
but now you can't even keep it straight.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
You and TJ were behind my attack.
Did you put something in my drink?
Just admit it and everything'll be fine.
Tiff
Tiff, it-it was TJ, okay?
TJ did it, not me.
(EXHALES) I was s
- so mad at him when he
- No, no, no, no.
No more games. It was a joint alibi.
You were both in on it.
And now you're both gonna pay.
Aah!
Don't wobble.
She must have overdone
the Bennies and fallen.
FLEMING: Did your wife
overdo it regularly, Mr. James?
No, it just helps helped
her sleep.
God, I'm so pissed I wasn't there.
Where were you?
Down in my man cave with my headphones,
just chilling with some edibles.
I didn't hear a thing,
then I came up, there she was.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is this another very attractive
basketball team?
No. Those are models.
This is a model house.
They live here? (GASPS SOFTLY)
That's very glamorous.
Was anyone else home at the time?
I don't think so. They were
all out at a party, and
But I don't even know
what time she fell.
You two have a fight?
Is that why you were in separate places?
No. What are you trying to say?
Everything was great.
GRACE: It's a weak alibi.
And that fall could be
consistent with domestic abuse.
But he does seem truly upset, though.
FLEMING: Maybe he didn't intend
to have it to go that far.
(DOOR OPENS)
Ooh, who's that?
FLEMING: Tiff Giles.
Used to be a supermodel.
Been to hell and back.
Hi.
I'm Els Oh, sorry.
I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.
I'm sort of with the police.
TIFFANY: Another attack?
I hope you people do better this time.
And I'll tell you something.
This whole world?
It isn't pretty.
Apparently not.
I've been reading up
on the Glamazons. Boy!
That was a wild time.
Where were you back then?
Oh. I was in law school.
I had the high-waisted pants,
which are back.
And the bixie haircut.
The cross between a bob
and a pixie, a la Meg Ryan.
Oh, gosh, I love Meg Ryan.
And I wept when my pet Tamagotchi died.
Boy, I really did that decade.
Glamazons were bigger
than Beanie Babies.
Yeah, and it seems like Tiff Giles
was the "it girl," at least
until that attack. That was
ooh, that was brutal.
Seemed like a random robbery gone wrong.
No one was ever arrested.
I'm gonna have to ask Nadine about that.
Mm. Not sure it had anything to do with
Madison Fortune's death, though.
Well, there were four
Glamazons, and now two of them
Tiff and Madison have now
been victims of violent crimes.
I mean, is that just bad luck?
Maybe the connection was Thomas James.
He was around for both.
You know the guy, Captain?
Uh, yeah, back in the day.
We used to patrol the clubs.
Limelight, Area, Palladium.
TJ was always with a
string of young models.
I don't know what his game was,
but he seemed sleazy as hell.
Well, that makes him icky,
but not necessarily a murderer.
Security footage showed only residents
going in and out that night,
so the suspect pool is limited.
And, by TJ's own admission,
he never left the building.
Well, he asked permission to
make funeral arrangements today.
I'm having an officer tail him,
see where he goes, what he does.
(KNOCKING)
The models arrived.
Somehow, seeing them here is
even worse for my self-esteem.
Just remember, they may be stunning,
but we can solve crimes.
(WEAK CHUCKLE)
She saved me from war
and got me Invisalign.
Ms. Maddy was my shero.
SVETA: I feel bad.
We were partying so hard
while Ms. Madison was falling down.
But we were drinking the garbage vodka,
so I hope we made her proud.
Who will look after us now?
This sucks.
But the brand launch was kinda bomb.
There was a vodka bottle ice luge
and I danced with some of the Knicks
and that actor who kissed
his brother on White Lotus.
NABRIA: We got to the party
at about 10:00
and we came home when the sun rose.
Mr. TJ was standing over her body.
How had TJ seemed lately?
Anything out of the ordinary?
I was surprised he wasn't
on the yacht with us.
He's usually there,
introducing us around.
He's actually been staying home a lot,
hiding out in his man cave.
No one knows what he's doing.
Seems suss as hell.
TJ was keeping secrets.
I think she was concerned.
Oh, yes, I was on the yacht as well.
I danced all night
and made out with the DJ,
- just like old times.
- (GIGGLES)
Nadine, you're incredible.
I had to keep up with the sheroes.
Even politically aware models
seem to party pretty hard.
Call them what you will,
models are still models,
- and vodka is still vodka.
- Yeah.
So, you lived in a model house.
That is so intriguing.
Can you tell me how that works?
Well, models live rent-free
in exchange for going to parties
and entertaining VIPs, mostly men.
Before Insta,
it was the only way to be seen.
Girls still do it, though.
- And what's TJ's role?
- TJ's a promoter.
He gets paid by the party
planners to bring the girls
and make the introductions.
Sounds like the models are put in some
pretty tricky situations.
Did you ever object to anything?
I was a 17-year-old girl from Moldova.
Who was I to ask questions?
Moldova? Wow.
I never could place the accent.
But I thought you said you were
walking runways in Milan
- and Paris by age 14.
- I Who can remember?
But I was a kid.
And I got swept up in it. We all did.
So, TJ met Madison in the model house?
Oh, yes. Separately, they were crazy.
Together, they were
crazy for each other.
It was all flames and fire.
Huh. Maybe it burned too hot?
- Do you think TJ could have killed her?
- No.
Even at the reunion,
they were partners in crime,
and I believe strongly that
Clyde would never kill Bonnie.
Yeah, I know. No. (SIGHS)
I have to fill the club
for the two-drink minimum
so Mr. Titters will have me back.
It's my first featured set,
you have to come.
Got to go.
Something fun afoot?
Um
Hey.
I have something I need to tell you.
Now.
Madison came to see me at my
bar in Pennsylvania last week.
Said she wanted to leave
her husband and start fresh.
I figured you should know that.
Did she say why?
I mean, TJ always had a temper,
tried to control her,
and now she was convinced
that he was drugging her, too.
Said she was tired all the time.
What else did Madison say?
She said she was scared
and that she felt like a fraud.
I mean, how could she pretend
that she's this evolved,
independent woman when she's
hiding her own abuse?
She said she wanted me to
come to New York to support her
when she left him.
Had you been aware
that things were this bad?
No. We hadn't seen each other in years.
Why would she confide in you, then?
Doesn't that seem odd?
No, I mean, we were roommates
back in the day. We had a bond.
And Madison was finally realizing
that I was right about TJ
after all this time.
I mean, that's why we had fallen out.
'Cause I didn't like him or trust him.
You think TJ could have killed her?
Well, he would get nothing
if she divorced him,
but if something happened to Madison,
he would get everything,
including his stake in the agency.
Not hard to connect those dots.
You're welcome.
The forensic report came in,
Captain, and it's a doozy.
(SIGHS) Sorry.
I never actually eat
when I'm with Nadine.
Uh
Go ahead.
Along with the fall, uh,
Madison Fortune died from a lethal mix
of Benzodiazepine and alcohol.
All the bottles
and surface areas in the bar
were wiped clean
which is suspicious in itself
but a glass was discovered in the trash
with traces of
the Bennies and the white wine
and Thomas James' fingerprints
smudged on the surface.
That's basically the murder weapon.
FLEMING: It's neat and clean, Captain.
- Motive, means and opportunity.
- Oh
Well, I, for one, won't shed a tear
when we lock this dude up.
Yeah, but if you were planning
on murdering your wife,
wouldn't you come up with
a better alibi than
hanging out in your man cave?
And are we just taking
Tiff's word for the motive?
- You didn't believe her?
- Well,
anything could have happened
in that bar in Pennsylvania.
The models backed Tiff's story,
though.
They said there seemed to be trouble
in the marriage.
Not Nadine Clay.
(IMITATES NADINE):
She believes strongly Clyde
would never kill Bonnie.
(KNOCKING)
What do you got?
GRACE: Uh, just heard
from the officer tailing Thomas James.
After going to the funeral home,
he went straight to his insurance agent,
checked on the size of Madison's
death benefit.
In other words, what's in it for him.
His attorney should be here any minute.
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, guys,
Officer Hackett's
doing her stand-up tonight.
It's her first featured set.
That's great.
Yeah, but she hasn't invited us,
even though she needs to fill
the house to get another show.
Well, some people
don't like to mix worlds.
I get that. She might feel like
her parents are in the house, you know,
and get self-conscious.
Oh, nonsense.
We're gonna support Officer Hackett.
She's a friend and colleague.
And besides, isn't anyone else curious?
TJ: This is crazy. I'd never hurt
Madison. She was my whole world.
FLEMING: Then can you tell us why you
stayed home the night
of the murder instead of going
to the party with your models?
Just tell them the truth.
I've been preparing for an
audit from the IRS,
trying to get my paper trail in order.
See, I've been paid
under the table, in cash,
since the 90s. I'm in big trouble.
FLEMING: Did Madison know?
TJ: I didn't want her
thinking less of me.
That's why he's been
hiding out in his man cave,
- trying to fix it.
- And why he killed his wife
for the death benefit.
He needed to pay the government
to stay out of jail.
I would never.
It was only after Madison was
gone that I even thought about
- her money, I swear.
- Try selling that to a jury.
So, what, the truth doesn't even matter?
We're submitting TJ's computer
for forensic examination.
You'll see he was online all night.
This is the glass that served
Madison Fortune her fatal drink.
Your prints are all over it.
How do you explain that?
It's from the cocktail party.
The caterers brought that.
It isn't even ours.
- Someone must be framing me.
- FLEMING: Oh, come on.
Who hated you so much to kill your wife
and set you up to take the fall?
Tiff Giles.
She hates us that much.
FLEMING: Why?
TJ: Well, she has this crazy idea
that we were behind her attack.
Were you?
Look, the statute of limitations
has been over longer than Zima.
If you think Tiff killed Madison,
then it only helps your point.
So, what do you have to lose?
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
Aw
Screw it, Naya.
Okay, yeah. It was us.
Um, but it wasn't
supposed to be that bad.
It was a major screw-up.
FLEMING: What was your motive?
There was an article in the Dress Up.
Uh, that creep made Tiffany the star,
which got her the Swimsuit Issue,
which everyone thought
was supposed to go to Maddy,
you know? It's
We went out to a bar, and
the Tonya Harding thing was on the TV
and we kind of got inspired.
And then Madison kept egging me on.
And I left, and I-I was waiting
for Tiff to come home
from the club, and I put on a mask.
And I was only supposed
to injure her enough so that she
wouldn't be able to do the shoot,
and M-Maddy could take her place.
But then Tiff fell on her Discman
and her Jewel CD
popped out and wound up
cutting her face.
And she got knocked out.
It was really scary.
Well, did you do anything to help her?
Did you call an ambulance?
TJ: Um
You just left her there?
Guess she finally got her revenge.
But just 'cause she has a reason
doesn't make it right, right?
Like, legally, right?
TJ's prints were on the glass
and he took the money.
Seems like a Hail Mary to me.
Well, I'm still curious to see
how Tiff reacts to his confession.
I went through all the social media
for the vodka launch party.
There are no posts
featuring Tiffany Giles
after 9:47 PM.
So she could have left early?
Yeah, and the expensive hotel
that she picked
has a private entrance.
It's for guests who need discretion.
So, Tiff could have been anywhere
the night of the murder.
There's also something strange
about the Bennies.
Madison's prescription
had just been filled,
only two pills missing.
But there was the equivalent of
at least six mixed into the spritzer.
GRACE: Exactly.
Did the killer bring their
own supply that night?
(DOOR BUZZES, LOCK CLICKS)
Okay, girls,
that was the lean and twist.
Now let's try the contrapposto.
NADINE: Uh, let's focus, please.
Models need to be on the second
the spotlight hits them.
As Maddy and I used to
say to each other backstage,
"Don't wobble."
Pretty handy advice, no?
If you're ever in the spotlight.
Huh. Yeah, and Nadine
is an excellent coach.
I never would have been able
to clomp like a donkey without her.
Excuse me. (CHUCKLES)
Can we steal Tiff for a moment?
Oh, do you have news?
(GASPS) Yeah. Okay.
TJ has confessed to your attack.
What?
After all these years?
He admitted he and Madison
were behind it.
Oh, no.
I-I always suspected TJ,
but I refuse to believe
that Maddy was involved.
I mean, she was my friend.
His words, not ours.
But why confess after all these years?
I mean, the statute
of limitations has run out.
Like, what-what advantage
does he think it gives him?
TJ was trying to prove that
someone had a big enough grudge
to kill Madison and frame him
for the murder.
Wait, me?
He's throwing suspicion on me?
GRACE: Can you prove you went back
to your hotel after the yacht party?
- We know you didn't stay long.
- (TIFFANY SCOFFS)
I left the model house
after the reunion shoot
and never went back that night, period.
I mean, how can you guys
believe a word that guy says?
He's just trying to save himself.
Bennies?
No, it's Advil.
I-I still get headaches
from the attack.
I've never taken those.
Mm. But you knew Madison did, right?
I mean, you two shared a room.
Yeah, 25 years ago.
When she also drank 14 Diet Cokes a day
and lived off candy bars.
Look, it is TJ, her killer,
who knows her habits now.
I thought you had become
Madison's confidante.
Oh.
You're one of those women, aren't you?
What women?
The kind
that have hated on me my whole life.
Just jealous, trying to tear me down.
That's not true.
I always try to lift people up.
Yet you're believing a man
over me right now.
A man who's obviously guilty,
a man with a history
of exploiting women.
And that is all I need to know
about you, Ms. Tascioni.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've had enough for today.
Think you might have hit a nerve.
SVETA: I'm sorry that my beauty
is the more societally
accepted standard.
I cannot control how he's
conditioned to see, Nabria.
Not to slut-shame you, my sister,
but you did let your towel drop.
NADINE: All right, my darlings, no.
Shh, shh. I cannot.
I cannot.
Nadine. What's the rumpus?
Oh. Nabria snuck a guy
from the yacht into the loft
but didn't realize
Sveta liked him as well,
and now it's a whole
respectful talkathon.
I miss the days when we used to scream,
pull each other's hair and smash things
until the cops were called.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
Wait. You're saying there's a secret way
in and out of this building?
Oh, yes. We used to call it
the Leo latch,
in honor of you-know-who's
secret late-night forays.
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you sneak guys in and out
when you lived here, too?
Yes. And carbs.
Mm.
- Can you show us?
- Yes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gloves and booties, everyone.
Ugh.
(GASPS SOFTLY)
- You-know-who really did this?
- Oh, yes.
Men would do anything
for models. It is so sweet.
And sad.
Ha. TJ was right.
It's not a match.
Did Tiff and Madison
ever fight over a guy?
Only many times.
Mostly Julian Simons.
He wrote the original article.
He always caused so many problems.
- I mean, he still does.
- FLEMING: What do you mean?
Oh, TJ kicked him out
of the cocktail reception
for being too nosy
with Tiff and Madison.
What was he asking about?
Mostly their newfound sisterhood.
Julian wasn't buying it?
I guess not. And he is the authority
on all things Glamazon.
He invented the term, so
he must know something. (SCOFFS)
He's obsessed.
As if we're so fascinating.
Just kidding. We are.
Nadine Clay was talking about me?
She said you were
the top Glamazon expert.
Knew where all the bodies were buried.
(SHORT CHUCKLE)
Am I a suspect?
What makes you think that?
Because TJ and Madison
ruined my life, too.
- Really? How so?
- They started a rumor
that Tiff slept with me
to make her the star of my story.
My editor at Dress Up believed it.
I got fired.
- Well, had she slept with you?
- No.
I'm gay, surprise.
But
Tiff did shower me with attention,
and I guess I fell under her spell.
Especially since the other Glamazons
treated me like a schlubby wannabe.
(SCOFFS) This world is not pretty.
FLEMING: Your article made them mad.
But that's not why they ruined me.
I kept asking questions
about Tiff's attack
even after the police dropped the case.
TJ and Madison wanted me silenced.
I've been blackballed ever since.
- So you always suspected them?
- Sure.
I could see how nasty it was
getting in the model house.
And TJ was a crazy boy.
He'd do anything for his girl.
FLEMING: What was the source
of the friction?
Tiff stole aspects
of Madison's look and attitude,
kind of Single White Femaled her.
So, Madison started playing dirty, too.
My article didn't help.
It seems like you did a lot
for Tiff's career.
Did you keep in touch?
Not after the story came out.
She used me.
Do you think she's capable of murder?
If she found proof that TJ and Madison
were behind the attack
I think she'd be capable of anything.
We know you were with them
at the cocktail reception.
How did Madison and Tiff seem?
Tiff said they made up.
They toasted, but things were
still pretty tense.
That's why I started asking questions
and TJ had me thrown out.
So you saw them drinking together?
Do you remember if TJ put his glass down
before he showed you out?
I didn't notice, but he definitely
needed both hands to deal with me.
I go to the gym.
Tiff could have pilfered
we don't use that word enough
the glass with TJ's fingerprints
while TJ was throwing Julian Simons
out of the reception.
And we now know Tiff could have
snuck into the model house
- using the Leo latch.
- What's that?
Ooh, it's a secret entrance
named after
Never mind, I don't care.
Uh, so you're saying that
Tiffany Giles could have gotten into
and out of the murder site
without being seen?
- Yes.
- And TJ was on his computer
working on his taxes most of the night.
And Tiff is a bartender.
So she would know
how to mix the, um drink.
A wine spritzer.
That's literally two ingredients.
Now, look, this is all
circumstantial.
We don't have any evidence
to connect Tiff to the actual crime.
And TJ had his
preliminary hearing today.
The judge sent it to the grand jury.
They're expected to indict.
(SCOFFS) Like a ham sandwich.
Oh, now I'm hungry again.
So, there's nothing else we can do?
Bring Tiffany back in,
see if she rattles.
But if this was a frame job,
it was a pretty tight one.
Hi, Tiff.
So, it seems like
the rivalry between you
and Madison was pretty fierce.
Julian Simons told us
Madison put ground glass in your shoe
so your foot bled
when you walked the runway.
Because you let Madison oversleep
so you could steal a job from her.
I mean, really, it sounds like
you were both at war.
Okay, Julian is a writer.
He loves to embellish.
But there was video of your
bloody foot on the runway.
That was pretty real.
You were pretty determined.
Nobody was gonna stop me in those days.
Until somebody did.
Oh, that (CLICKS TONGUE)
That attack. Oh, gosh.
That attack
it must have made you feel
Bitter, cursed,
crazy, robbed of my future,
ashamed of my face,
drugged-out, depressed, unlovable?
Yeah, the same way anybody would feel.
- What is the point to this?
- Did you want revenge?
Because it would really
be understandable if you did.
Yeah, that's what I wanted
for a long time.
But it got me nowhere.
I mean, I-I didn't even
know who to blame.
And you never wanted to try
modeling again?
'Cause that eye patch it could
have been your new trademark.
My spirit was broken.
And I felt like Madison
had taken my place,
so
Then why'd you come back to New York?
To heal. To
to get closure.
To support my sister Madison.
To help these models
who are just starting out.
I mean
And then Maddy got murdered.
And now you're trying
to traumatize me again.
It's ghoulish.
I I'm not gonna sit here and take it.
Hey, hey, we both know
Madison wasn't your sister.
She was your rival.
You came in through
the Leo latch with a plan,
and you carried it out.
Hey, you already have your killer.
- I don't think we do.
- TJ admitted
to attacking me. You know he's violent.
There's a mountain of evidence.
What more do you need?
There are some things that just
Do you have anything to hold me on now
or not?
Yeah. That's what I thought.
You cops
you're useless.
Always were.
I'm gonna go home now.
Give it up again for my buddy Jim!
- (APPLAUSE)
- Don't wobble.
COMIC: Okay, let's keep it going
for our next featured comic.
I have seen her, she is funny.
And, hey, no heckling.
It will end up on the Internet,
you will look like a jerk,
and you won't get laid,
so don't do it, okay?
All right, let's please
welcome Grace Hackett.
- Yay!
- GRACE: Hi.
All right, um I'm Grace.
What can I tell you? Uh, I am single.
I am from Queens.
I'm a Mets fan.
Yes. Oh, my fellow masochist, hello.
I am also
a New York City police officer.
Ooh! Feel that awkward
energy shift in the room?
Feels like every date I've ever had.
But then I remind them I have handcuffs.
Yeah, see, my problem
is I am attracted to bad boys.
I'm always putting perps
up against a wall
and frisking 'em.
"You have the right to remain silent.
You also have the right to
call me, if you're into it."
(WAGNER AND FLEMING LAUGHING)
Oh, my You can never
find a cop when you need one,
and then your whole precinct
turns up at your show.
- Don't mind us.
- Yeah, do your thing.
GRACE: That's my captain.
He likes to order big
sushi lunches to the office.
Yeah, your tax dollars hard
at work, ladies and gentlemen.
- Hey, I pay for those.
- Eh, tell it to Internal Affairs.
- (FLEMING LAUGHS)
- And there's Detective Buzz.
You've heard of stop-and-frisk?
Buzz invented turn-and-avoid!
What else can I tell you
that'll, uh,
put my real career in jeopardy?
I'm Grace. You've been great.
Thank you.
So, that's what she thinks of us?
What's wrong with sushi for lunch?
I thought it sounded affectionate.
But why no jokes about me?
Not even one.
Ivy?
Captain.
Look, it's Ivy from Joe's Bar.
Hi, Ms. Tascioni. Figured
no one else dresses like that.
(CHUCKLES)
- Wow. Look at you.
- Yeah.
- I'm the head bartender here.
- Aw.
Joe may have been a killer,
but I learned a lot watching him.
Mm.
Hey, what did you just do there?
Oh, the That? The flipping
of the foil? Pro habit.
Do most bartenders do that?
Yeah, the ones I know. (SIGHS)
I always forget to throw them out.
We've all discussed it.
You're the one who understands.
We trust you, and hope you will
hear our plea, Ms. Tiffany.
What's all this?
Oh. Well, if you must know,
TJ's out of the picture now,
but the Sheroes Modeling
Agency is going to continue.
We need someone to look after us.
We've asked Tiff to stay.
Oh, so you're gonna take
Madison's place at the agency
the way she took your place on
the cover of Sports Illustrated?
It's, uh, it's kinda been their "thing."
Take a look, ladies.
We are not gonna treat
each other like this anymore.
I will make sure of it.
Does this mean you say yes?
Sorry, Tiffany
won't be available for, say,
25 years to life.
GRACE: Yeah, the perp-walk
will be your last runway.
Don't wobble.
You're not as funny
as you think you are.
Look, arrest me or leave me alone.
Tiffany Giles, you are under arrest
- for the murder of Madison Fortune.
- Wait, wait, wait,
- what-what are you doing?
- ELSBETH: Oh!
We have your fingerprints now.
Oh, really? Then you planted 'em.
'Cause my prints aren't on anything.
You wiped down the bottles,
the door handles,
the railings overlooking the loft
And it was TJ's prints
on the glass that you pilfered
huh, used it again
when TJ kicked poor Julian
out of that reception.
The same glass
that you planted at the
(POPS LIPS) crime scene
to frame TJ for the murder.
You only made one mistake.
You left your prints
on the murder weapon,
which is to say the wine bottle
used to make the drugged spritzer.
TIFFANY: No, I didn't.
When you cut the foil
off the wine bottle, you
flipped it into your apron pocket,
but you forgot to throw it away.
You left a thumbprint
on the aluminum,
and it was a perfect match.
Oh, if it makes you feel any better,
a lot of bartenders
make the same mistake.
But, of course, most of them are not
trying to cover up a murder.
You did it.
I only have one question, though.
Why now, after all these years?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Madison slipped up when
she came to see me at the bar.
She blew her and TJ's alibi
for the night of my attack.
I couldn't let them get away with that.
FLEMING: Tiffany Ann Giles,
you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will
be used against you in a court of law.
What will happen to us now?
Give Nadine Clay a call.
(IMITATES NADINE): I believe
strongly that she's wonderful.
(REGULAR VOICE): And she might be ready
for her next move.
Heck of a week.
Not only did we solve our case,
but Officer Hackett
killed at her showcase.
Aw. (CHUCKLES)
I don't know about that, but, uh,
Mr. Titters is gonna have me back.
- (GASPS) Oh
- Hey!
You know, you guys
didn't say much after the set.
- I hope I didn't offend anyone.
- What?!
No. You were "high-larious."
And you didn't actually invite us,
- so we deserved whatever we got.
- Well,
it's really just a persona.
Of course. And there were
no jokes about me anyway,
so, I'm lucky, I guess,
to, um, to not be included.
But why wasn't I included?
I can take a joke.
Oh, Elsbeth, a consent decree lawyer
is just it's way too hard
to explain to an audience.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
- Nice.
- Well, when you're on Way Late,
we can say we knew you when.
Oh, that's not actually
Look, Captain, I enjoy my comedy,
but this is my work.
Unless lightning strikes, which,
eh, I don't expect, I mean,
this is my career.
I'm learning so much
from all of you. I
I hope I didn't mess this up.
Officer Hackett
I'm the that insisted
we go to your show.
This work is intense.
We see most people on their worst days.
It's important to have an outlet.
I wanted to support that.
Thank you, sir.
Aw. Do you have an outlet, Captain?
I mean, besides poker?
Ah, well, I messed around
with some things during the lockdown,
but nothing I'd burden an audience with.
I'm not as brave as Officer Hackett.
ELSBETH: What about you, Buzz?
I'm a lifelong Mets fan, too.
Used to sit
up in the nosebleeds and pray
for Dave Kingman to hit a home run.
It's always been my thing.
- You are kidding.
- (IMITATES EXPLOSION)
Oh, Twinsies again.
So cute.
(CHUCKLES)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(TROMBONE PLAYING A GENTLE TUNE
IN DISTANCE)