Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e09 Episode Script
The Invisible Mom
1
Now I see why they call
this place bizarre.
Jade, it is a bazaar.
Anywhere grown men
play with baby toys
is bizarre in my book.
Uncle is not playing.
This rattle's filled
with the enchanted teeth
of mongoose,
which will lead us
to the snake,
which possesses the power
of invisibility.
Do you think our search
will take long, sensei?
(Rattling)
Oh! No. I do not.
(Rattling)
The snake we seek
must be within.
Jackie, take basket!
Oh!
Do not even breathe.
Cobras are
very poisonous.
I know.
They say you can
hypnotize 'em
by looking right
into their eyes.
Jade!
(Rattling)
Ugg! Uncle!
But not our snake.
Put basket down.
Ugg. How?
Quickly, of course.
We must find real snake
before dark forces arrive.
Ahh!
Aah!
Huh?
(Hiss)
Ow.
You!
Billy goat!
Uh, mommy!
Whoa! Mrs. t?
What brings you
to bizarr-o world?
And when are you leaving?
Mother, what
a coincidence
bumping into you
all the way in India.
Coincidence?
You invited me!
Uh-oh.
Tohru!
You did not tell uncle
you invited spider woman!
(Moans)
See? Even Jackie moans with
displeasure at her arrival.
Uh, Jackie?
Are you all right?
Jackie, how many fingers
do you see?
(Groaning)
(Gasps) Jackie has
been bitten by snake.
Well, what a co-inky-dink.
We're looking for a snake.
These strange men,
they appeared
out of thin air.
They used to be men.
Now they're card-carrying
members
of the forces of darkness.
Stop them,
tohru!
Yarrgg--ulp.
My baby will not fight
forces of darkness!
(Laughs) Hear that?
Yeah. Tohru's mommy won't
let him come out and play.
Heh heh. Maybe
he needs his
diaper changed.
(All laugh)
Hohhh!
Stop them, Jackie!
Eh, hello.
Jackie!
Heh heh. That's called
the slippery cobra technique.
Whoa.
I'm not sure
who's dizzier.
Chan or me?
Maybe we should get
Jackie to a doctor.
We must find snake
before dark forces do,
then uncle
will cure Jackie.
Do not worry. I once
saw television program
about cobra poisoning.
Jackie only in stage one.
Very slight dryness
of mouth.
(Wheezes)
(Jackie wheezing)
WaTer
Must haveWater.
WaTer.
Thank you.
YarrrMatey!
Stage 2?
Stark-raving madness.
Shiver me timbers!
Yo ho ho!
(Humming popeye theme)
Luckily stage 2
very brief.
Do not understand.
Locator spell was warm
near first basket.
Now it is cold.
(Rattle)
(Gasps)
The magic snake!
Oh, look! It is
getting away!
And so are we!
See ya.
Uncle, if daolon wong
gets the snake,
he'll have the power of--
shh!
The talisman power
of invisibility
lies within the snake
within the egg.
(Rattling)
Uncle, you so sly.
Do not tell your mother.
She has big mouth,
and dark forces must not
discover the truth.
It is best if we
treat Jackie before
onset of stage 3.
What happens
in stage 3?
(Moans)
Jackie lies motionless
on ground.
Jackie needs root
of Willow tree.
Yes, Willow tree perfect,
if Jackie had chapped lips.
Then what does
madam tarantula
recommend?
Sycamore sap.
Jackie does not
have athlete's foot.
Must use garlic.
Too much garlic!
No such thing
too much garlic.
Uncle knew you were vampire.
Grrr. Junk seller!
Oh, blood sucker!
Jade: Hey
It's working!
Hello.
Good thing I
was here to help.
What kind of uncle
are you?
I would never let
my tohru play
with snakes.
Mother, please.
There is no need to be
so overprotective.
Overprotective?
Mother is not
overprotective!
You must eat.
It is past
lunchtime.
Yes, mother.
I am feeling
much better.
Thank you.
Of course you are,
thanks to my remedies.
Mine!
No, mine!
No, mine!
No, mine.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Ah! You yell too much.
Gives me headache.
I am going to bed.
You are old yeller.
And that is uncle's room.
Billy goat's suitcase
on my bed?
He has no respect
for other people's things.
(Sniffs)
Garlic, fahh!
Bad for snake bite,
but good for headache.
Ahh
Essence of snake eggshell
even better.
Mmm
Ahh, headache disappearing.
Ah, head feeling much--
(Gasps)
Where is my head?
Ohh!
Some kind of magic.
A trick!
Billy goat did this to me!
He will pay!
Mother means well,
but sometimes
I think she forgets
that I am a grown man.
Uh, very grown.
When she gets in your face,
tell her to give
you some space.
She would just take it
the wrong way.
(Sighs)
I love her,
but sometimes
I wish mother
would just disappear.
Oh, be careful what you
wish for, tohru.
Mother, I made warm milk
for you.
Mommy?
Aw, why can't we go help
tohru look for his mom?
Because uncle must guard egg
from forces of darkness
while Jackie recuperates,
and because uncle must beat
Jade in a friendly game of
mah-jongg.
Well?
The concierge
said mother
scheduled a bus tour
to the Taj Mahal.
Told you
the dark chi dudes
didn't get her.
Of course
they did not.
She is more fearsome
than they.
Grrr.
Whoa-aah!
Sensei, are you
all right?
(Giggles)
Chair very slippery.
Now, it is your move,
Jade.
Whoa! I win!
Uh-huh, uh-huh!
It's my birthday!
I won! You lost!
Impossible!
I know three dark warriors
who are finally about to make
daolon wong a happy wizard.
Let's not be hasty.
This snake
can make us invisible.
We can sneak
into any movie
we want for free.
Ahem.
If ol' crazy eyes
can't see us,
we can sneak up
and stomp the chi
outta him.
And force him
to turn us back
into our normal
old selves.
Yeah!
Talisman powerHo!
Hey, I can still
see you guys.
Uh, 'cause
we're all invisible.
Ohh!
I was never any good
at science.
Hiya, boss.
Ratso here
was wondering
if you needed
any pictures
hung, big d.
All that I need
is for you to bring me
the correct snake!
(Screaming)
Are you certain
you won't return home
with us, tohru?
I should wait here
for mother to return
from her tour.
Good thing we are leaving.
Hotel has terrible draft.
Whoa!
Hotel gives uncle
the willies.
It is as if spirits lurk.
(Knock at door)
Bellhop!
Ahh! Jackie!
Bellhops are
very careless.
You must not
let them carry bag
containing snake egg.
Uggh!
Is that a fact?
Hey, it's a trick.
Snakes don't
lay eggs.
Yeah!
Ok, you got me.
Wait.
Do they?
Get chan!
So, the egg is magic.
Finn: Chan!
Jackie!
Egg very fragile!
If it breaks, talisman power
could be released.
Or a baby snake
could get hurt.
Jackie needs backup.
Oop!
Too dangerous!
Aww
Tohru, help Jackie.
I cannot climb
up there, sensei.
Good. Too dangerous.
The egg, chan,
or we scramble you.
I prefer over easy.
Egg roll!
Huh?
Whoa
Whoa
Invisible snake
or flying one?
Ohh!
Why did egg not break?
Mrs. t: Because
chicken eggs
are fragile.
Snake eggs
are durable.
Mommy?
Oh. Hello.
Someone's here.
Whoaaaa!
Whoaaaa!
Unlike egg,
forces of darkness
do not bounce.
Tohru,
catch your mother!
IHad better
go fetch the egg.
I'll go with.
Do not worry, mother.
Sensei will find a way
to make you visible again.
Why? She is
more pleasing to
the eyes this way.
This is my choice, tohru.
I will remain invisible
so that I may always
protect my baby.
(Gulp) Always?
Tell me you
have my snake.
Uh
Right here,
big d.
And I cannot see it?
Why?
'Cause
it's invisible.
Look! There it goes!
Whoa! It's climbing up
my pants.
Whoa-oaa-oaa!
So be it.
Whoa.
There!
Paper beats rock!
Mine!
Whoop.
Ooh ooh!
Ow ow!
Aii aii!
Whoa!
Chow: Mine!
Hey
The egg's a dud.
Not dud.
Snake invisible.
Duh.
Poor little guy's
scared.
He activated
the talisman power
for protection.
End of the trail.
For you!
I told you, no fighting
forces of darkness.
Not even the skinny one?
Ha ha ha!
That's right, tohru.
Listen to mommy.
Gohh! Gaa! Unh!
Had enough of mommy?
Heh.
Come and get me.
Mother!
Remain in safety zone,
tohru.
Ha ha ha.
Where am I,
over here?
Or am I over here?
Mommy!
(Gasps)
Grrr.
Nobody touches my mommy.
Heh heh.
Aah!
Uhh.
Sometimes I can
take care of myself,
mother.
And you.
My baby.
Any last wishes, chan?
Uhh!
Oof!
Jade, what
are you doing?
Shh!
Told you they
can be hypnotized.
Now, let's get you
back to section 13
with the other animals,
for your safety.
Sensei says
this is the only way to
make you visible again.
Hmph. Probably poison.
Or garlic.
(Grumbles)
(Gasps)
What?
What is it?
Do not look
in mirror.
Aaaah!
Billy goat!
You will pay
for this!
Aiiya!
Tohru: Mommy, no!
See? Your fault.
Told you antidote
should always
contain garlic.
Jade: Hey, Jackie, did you
do well in school?
Kind of.
I'm very bad boy.
I don't want to get up
in the morning.
Later on. Later on.
The teacher
been training me,
become very disciplined.
Get up 5:00 in the morning,
training, training, training.
Work very hard every day.
But usually, I'm pretty good.
Now I see why they call
this place bizarre.
Jade, it is a bazaar.
Anywhere grown men
play with baby toys
is bizarre in my book.
Uncle is not playing.
This rattle's filled
with the enchanted teeth
of mongoose,
which will lead us
to the snake,
which possesses the power
of invisibility.
Do you think our search
will take long, sensei?
(Rattling)
Oh! No. I do not.
(Rattling)
The snake we seek
must be within.
Jackie, take basket!
Oh!
Do not even breathe.
Cobras are
very poisonous.
I know.
They say you can
hypnotize 'em
by looking right
into their eyes.
Jade!
(Rattling)
Ugg! Uncle!
But not our snake.
Put basket down.
Ugg. How?
Quickly, of course.
We must find real snake
before dark forces arrive.
Ahh!
Aah!
Huh?
(Hiss)
Ow.
You!
Billy goat!
Uh, mommy!
Whoa! Mrs. t?
What brings you
to bizarr-o world?
And when are you leaving?
Mother, what
a coincidence
bumping into you
all the way in India.
Coincidence?
You invited me!
Uh-oh.
Tohru!
You did not tell uncle
you invited spider woman!
(Moans)
See? Even Jackie moans with
displeasure at her arrival.
Uh, Jackie?
Are you all right?
Jackie, how many fingers
do you see?
(Groaning)
(Gasps) Jackie has
been bitten by snake.
Well, what a co-inky-dink.
We're looking for a snake.
These strange men,
they appeared
out of thin air.
They used to be men.
Now they're card-carrying
members
of the forces of darkness.
Stop them,
tohru!
Yarrgg--ulp.
My baby will not fight
forces of darkness!
(Laughs) Hear that?
Yeah. Tohru's mommy won't
let him come out and play.
Heh heh. Maybe
he needs his
diaper changed.
(All laugh)
Hohhh!
Stop them, Jackie!
Eh, hello.
Jackie!
Heh heh. That's called
the slippery cobra technique.
Whoa.
I'm not sure
who's dizzier.
Chan or me?
Maybe we should get
Jackie to a doctor.
We must find snake
before dark forces do,
then uncle
will cure Jackie.
Do not worry. I once
saw television program
about cobra poisoning.
Jackie only in stage one.
Very slight dryness
of mouth.
(Wheezes)
(Jackie wheezing)
WaTer
Must haveWater.
WaTer.
Thank you.
YarrrMatey!
Stage 2?
Stark-raving madness.
Shiver me timbers!
Yo ho ho!
(Humming popeye theme)
Luckily stage 2
very brief.
Do not understand.
Locator spell was warm
near first basket.
Now it is cold.
(Rattle)
(Gasps)
The magic snake!
Oh, look! It is
getting away!
And so are we!
See ya.
Uncle, if daolon wong
gets the snake,
he'll have the power of--
shh!
The talisman power
of invisibility
lies within the snake
within the egg.
(Rattling)
Uncle, you so sly.
Do not tell your mother.
She has big mouth,
and dark forces must not
discover the truth.
It is best if we
treat Jackie before
onset of stage 3.
What happens
in stage 3?
(Moans)
Jackie lies motionless
on ground.
Jackie needs root
of Willow tree.
Yes, Willow tree perfect,
if Jackie had chapped lips.
Then what does
madam tarantula
recommend?
Sycamore sap.
Jackie does not
have athlete's foot.
Must use garlic.
Too much garlic!
No such thing
too much garlic.
Uncle knew you were vampire.
Grrr. Junk seller!
Oh, blood sucker!
Jade: Hey
It's working!
Hello.
Good thing I
was here to help.
What kind of uncle
are you?
I would never let
my tohru play
with snakes.
Mother, please.
There is no need to be
so overprotective.
Overprotective?
Mother is not
overprotective!
You must eat.
It is past
lunchtime.
Yes, mother.
I am feeling
much better.
Thank you.
Of course you are,
thanks to my remedies.
Mine!
No, mine!
No, mine!
No, mine.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Ah! You yell too much.
Gives me headache.
I am going to bed.
You are old yeller.
And that is uncle's room.
Billy goat's suitcase
on my bed?
He has no respect
for other people's things.
(Sniffs)
Garlic, fahh!
Bad for snake bite,
but good for headache.
Ahh
Essence of snake eggshell
even better.
Mmm
Ahh, headache disappearing.
Ah, head feeling much--
(Gasps)
Where is my head?
Ohh!
Some kind of magic.
A trick!
Billy goat did this to me!
He will pay!
Mother means well,
but sometimes
I think she forgets
that I am a grown man.
Uh, very grown.
When she gets in your face,
tell her to give
you some space.
She would just take it
the wrong way.
(Sighs)
I love her,
but sometimes
I wish mother
would just disappear.
Oh, be careful what you
wish for, tohru.
Mother, I made warm milk
for you.
Mommy?
Aw, why can't we go help
tohru look for his mom?
Because uncle must guard egg
from forces of darkness
while Jackie recuperates,
and because uncle must beat
Jade in a friendly game of
mah-jongg.
Well?
The concierge
said mother
scheduled a bus tour
to the Taj Mahal.
Told you
the dark chi dudes
didn't get her.
Of course
they did not.
She is more fearsome
than they.
Grrr.
Whoa-aah!
Sensei, are you
all right?
(Giggles)
Chair very slippery.
Now, it is your move,
Jade.
Whoa! I win!
Uh-huh, uh-huh!
It's my birthday!
I won! You lost!
Impossible!
I know three dark warriors
who are finally about to make
daolon wong a happy wizard.
Let's not be hasty.
This snake
can make us invisible.
We can sneak
into any movie
we want for free.
Ahem.
If ol' crazy eyes
can't see us,
we can sneak up
and stomp the chi
outta him.
And force him
to turn us back
into our normal
old selves.
Yeah!
Talisman powerHo!
Hey, I can still
see you guys.
Uh, 'cause
we're all invisible.
Ohh!
I was never any good
at science.
Hiya, boss.
Ratso here
was wondering
if you needed
any pictures
hung, big d.
All that I need
is for you to bring me
the correct snake!
(Screaming)
Are you certain
you won't return home
with us, tohru?
I should wait here
for mother to return
from her tour.
Good thing we are leaving.
Hotel has terrible draft.
Whoa!
Hotel gives uncle
the willies.
It is as if spirits lurk.
(Knock at door)
Bellhop!
Ahh! Jackie!
Bellhops are
very careless.
You must not
let them carry bag
containing snake egg.
Uggh!
Is that a fact?
Hey, it's a trick.
Snakes don't
lay eggs.
Yeah!
Ok, you got me.
Wait.
Do they?
Get chan!
So, the egg is magic.
Finn: Chan!
Jackie!
Egg very fragile!
If it breaks, talisman power
could be released.
Or a baby snake
could get hurt.
Jackie needs backup.
Oop!
Too dangerous!
Aww
Tohru, help Jackie.
I cannot climb
up there, sensei.
Good. Too dangerous.
The egg, chan,
or we scramble you.
I prefer over easy.
Egg roll!
Huh?
Whoa
Whoa
Invisible snake
or flying one?
Ohh!
Why did egg not break?
Mrs. t: Because
chicken eggs
are fragile.
Snake eggs
are durable.
Mommy?
Oh. Hello.
Someone's here.
Whoaaaa!
Whoaaaa!
Unlike egg,
forces of darkness
do not bounce.
Tohru,
catch your mother!
IHad better
go fetch the egg.
I'll go with.
Do not worry, mother.
Sensei will find a way
to make you visible again.
Why? She is
more pleasing to
the eyes this way.
This is my choice, tohru.
I will remain invisible
so that I may always
protect my baby.
(Gulp) Always?
Tell me you
have my snake.
Uh
Right here,
big d.
And I cannot see it?
Why?
'Cause
it's invisible.
Look! There it goes!
Whoa! It's climbing up
my pants.
Whoa-oaa-oaa!
So be it.
Whoa.
There!
Paper beats rock!
Mine!
Whoop.
Ooh ooh!
Ow ow!
Aii aii!
Whoa!
Chow: Mine!
Hey
The egg's a dud.
Not dud.
Snake invisible.
Duh.
Poor little guy's
scared.
He activated
the talisman power
for protection.
End of the trail.
For you!
I told you, no fighting
forces of darkness.
Not even the skinny one?
Ha ha ha!
That's right, tohru.
Listen to mommy.
Gohh! Gaa! Unh!
Had enough of mommy?
Heh.
Come and get me.
Mother!
Remain in safety zone,
tohru.
Ha ha ha.
Where am I,
over here?
Or am I over here?
Mommy!
(Gasps)
Grrr.
Nobody touches my mommy.
Heh heh.
Aah!
Uhh.
Sometimes I can
take care of myself,
mother.
And you.
My baby.
Any last wishes, chan?
Uhh!
Oof!
Jade, what
are you doing?
Shh!
Told you they
can be hypnotized.
Now, let's get you
back to section 13
with the other animals,
for your safety.
Sensei says
this is the only way to
make you visible again.
Hmph. Probably poison.
Or garlic.
(Grumbles)
(Gasps)
What?
What is it?
Do not look
in mirror.
Aaaah!
Billy goat!
You will pay
for this!
Aiiya!
Tohru: Mommy, no!
See? Your fault.
Told you antidote
should always
contain garlic.
Jade: Hey, Jackie, did you
do well in school?
Kind of.
I'm very bad boy.
I don't want to get up
in the morning.
Later on. Later on.
The teacher
been training me,
become very disciplined.
Get up 5:00 in the morning,
training, training, training.
Work very hard every day.
But usually, I'm pretty good.