The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993) s03e10 Episode Script
The Mole Game
Rats were everywhere, and for all our efforts we didn't seem to be winning.
However, thanks to Plucky's quick thinking, even the warden was now on our side. Meanwhile,
the baby weasel's picklet friend was causing complications.
Get out of here, go on.
And there was nothing any of us could do to save Adder's mate, Sinuous.
I'm the best there is at this game, matey. He'll come up here.
He'll come up here. I'm a superior life form. I can beat you at any game. Just you wait, matey.
I can hear him. So can I.
Shall I ask them?
Well, if you don't, I'll spend all day wondering what this was all about.
Toad, we don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?
It's a game, a very serious game.
That's right, matey. Demanding great intelligence. We have to guess where mossy mole will come up.
He'll come up here. Here, this is it. Any moment.
Yeah, you'll come up here.
He'll not hear me.
Does this mean I win the game?
You win, Rangers champion. He wins.
I want to hear Toad saying.
You win.
That's quite my motte.
Adda, are you all right?
How many rats have you killed today?
Well, none actually.
None. None.
I've killed a hundred.
More. Many more. I am to their nests.
They killed my seniors.
And I'll kill all of them. Everyone.
Look, there's the warden.
What's he doing?
He's pouring poison down our owl.
A city wood didn't I, NDAs? We must think we're stupid.
That'll show you.
Oh, get out of my park. You filthy little monsters.
What's that? A good game, eh?
Game.
He's bleeding.
He was only playing.
Humans is always playing games.
Oh, I'm forgetting. He left us poison.
And the creature, what eats that poison, dies dead.
He's twitching, foxes close, anything but walks, crawls or flies, dies.
They all dies in the most horrible pain they do.
It awards wasting his time.
That he knows some of us have got him, you know.
You know you must nothing before a phanger living in a sewer.
I brought you here to this lovely park. Come on.
Funny? I should have had a weak heart.
Is it something important? Fox is sleeping.
Yes, Ranger. Your report.
We saw the warden put it down poison for the rats.
Yes, well, that's good, isn't it?
It's not working.
Right, it's not. There's not enough poison in the world to kill them.
One rat ate the lot.
A big bag full. One greedy rat.
It'll never work.
Yes, Ranger. You're right.
The situation is hopeless.
We've lost. Fox, it's not like you to give up.
Your fox. The fox, you don't ever give up.
I'm sorry, Vixen. But I've tried my best.
They're lovel runners.
Any day now.
No, they won't.
Come on, Sharma. This fire is plucky.
We'll give those rats a proper scare.
Vixen, I can't help thinking.
What would Al do if she were here?
I didn't know what to do.
What?
I am a perfect specimen now.
But I don't mind admitting.
Well, I'm not wise enough for this problem.
Please, fellow flappers, mind you mate.
She's dying in prison inside cement.
Dying. What can I do?
Oh, shame, what a pity. What a pity.
I've tried feeding her what.
But I can't even get the worms into her.
She's shrinking away to nothing, you know.
Let me have a try. Who's got a worm?
I've got a worm. Give it to him.
Go on. Give it to him.
Let him get his own worms.
I
Ouch!
I'm not hungry.
She's alive. In there.
Beat up, dearest one.
You can't be my mate if you die of starvation, right?
Well, I've done what I can.
But I can't make her eat it.
She's eating. What? She's eating.
Eh, it's just the warm wiggling.
She's never eaten. She's done for she is.
Yo, we're off you.
I'm only stayed in the office.
She's more than half dead in there.
Bones and feathers admitted.
Yes, Robin. You're right.
She ate it. What? Did you see? She ate it.
I don't know what you're making our list for, fellow flapper.
Why don't you just take another mate?
What about her? There, behind you.
Oh, excuse me.
You are the best attractive I've ever seen.
You'll see.
I'm not going to let you go.
You're the best attractive I've ever seen.
Your silhouette before the wailing moon must be a sight to see.
But this hat-y old owl ruined inside cement,
it is she that I alone.
Please, yourself.
No, lose me. Fly away with her.
You'll be happy. Forget about me.
It's all over for me.
I know. Why don't we just shove her off the branch?
The cement would break when she hits the ground and head pressed out.
She'll come.
Yeah, you need a Robin for ideas like that.
The fall will kill her. What?
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Thank you. It might work.
Is it just might? Let us well try.
She's good a day if nothing's done.
Yes. Well, all right.
Let's get with the go over here.
Let's get forward to back and take a run at her.
My dearest owl, I love you.
Well, I have a funny feeling that something horrible is about to happen.
I love you.
Oh, speak to me. What? What?
Excuse me, but I think you've got the wrong owl.
What?
Here.
You'll come up here.
You'll come up here.
I can hear something.
Yes, something. You'll come up.
Here?
Lovely day. I spiked me, boy.
A lovely day for being a rat horn, wouldn't you say, eh?
Look at that face, lad.
What have we here then?
Kill it.
Help me!
Spike! Spike me!
Who am I?
Molly, Molly, Molly.
Trader!
Oh, dear. Hold on.
Oh, dear. Hold on.
Really or not? Here I am.
You've been toed. Toadweeds.
Get on with it. It's only a mole.
Spike, please help me.
It was my mate, mate.
Oh.
I do wish you wouldn't do that.
It's only you. I'd help for something bigger.
It's toad, the rats. They're attacking him.
Thousands of rats. Don't buy the data, Pat.
It'll be too late already.
Don't worry about a thing. Just leave it up to me.
Oh.
Stop that. I'll set try on you.
Yeah, get try, someone.
Carp. What silly skinny legs you do, Sreb.
Our legs are beautiful.
I'm very practical for getting about.
And for stamping on rabbits.
I'm a hare.
Yes, a hare. And I can run so fast.
Faster than you and those tweed legs of yours.
Or you can run faster than any rabbit.
So can I. Me too.
So can I. And me.
Let's see you then. Go on.
Adia.
Race me. Race me.
All right. You're on.
He came. It's good for you.
I
Get off.
Yeah.
It tastes horrible. Oh, great one.
Worthtouts are poisonous.
Rabbish. Toad's is tasty.
Spike. Help.
What's that? Thunder.
On such a lovely blue day.
Oh, hell, boys.
Hey, help.
No.
You need a prop.
Hello. Froggy, matey's.
How are you?
Oh.
It worked. I knew it worked.
Take me to the pond, matey's.
Wrap me in pond weed.
Oh.
Oh.
Dash. Stop it.
It's me. Spike.
Oops. Sorry, Spike.
It's a true rat.
I mean a nasty rat.
I am. A nasty rat.
Nasty. Nasty.
I'm in a race. Can't stop.
Cowed. We're stowed.
Some frogs carried him off to the pond.
What was left of him?
Oh.
Ledge. My handsome retis.
Oh.
Oh, Spike. My favourite boy.
Oh, at least you're all right.
What happened?
I'm all confused, right?
I'm nasty. Triterus. Bad. Bad.
Excuse me. Have you got any chance to see my mole?
Well, I will never play that game again.
It was such a good game. We had such fun.
I'm nasty. I know.
I'm a rotten stinger. I know.
I'm a big fat nasty rat.
Yes. I know.
Ercho. You're kind.
I'm very kind. Yes. Yes.
Have you seen my mole?
You forgive me, mole.
Yes. I suppose. What have you done?
What have I done?
Bullying his rats attacked Taued.
I didn't help him. I just stood there.
I don't think you'll live.
You will forgive me. Won't you?
Ercho. No.
I won't forgive you.
You won't? But I'm kind.
I know. But I still won't forgive you.
Easy, you're all right.
Ercho.
I'm going to Taued.
This rat said you were on your last legs before what a liar.
I'm setting me for nothing.
Taued. You're alive. You're all right.
Hello, my ease.
I do smart, oh.
And I'm covered in bumps.
You're a toward. You're always covered in bumps.
That's right.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't help you.
It's bullying. I was so scared of him.
You do forgive me, don't you?
Well, I don't know.
You're my best friend ever.
I'm not frightened anymore.
If it happens again, just you wait.
I'll fight like a terrier. I promise.
Yeah, all right. You were scared.
So was I. I forgive you, my ease.
Oh, thank you.
Oh.
No, I couldn't.
Be great.
You come back here as instant. You're a little squilla.
You like, like, like, like.
Oh, dear. I went through all these silly games
of my wife's last litter.
And now again.
What would a big bad boy do to us when he catches us?
Oh, he'll get his biggest sharpest tusk
and he'll stick it right through us.
I will scream and squill to it, Dad.
And me, me. What will he do to me?
Will he make me?
Oh, I can eat sausages.
Yeah, he'll slice you up in his tusks
until you just sausages.
And all the beetles and flies will gather you up.
You two are a very bad influence on piglets.
You're not going to
with your tusks.
You're like, kill them.
Like, dead. Like, oh, please, don't.
I'll let her watch.
Stop. You quite snorting pig.
Stop.
Oh, do something, measly.
I'll blame you for this.
That's it, measly. You show it.
That'll teach you to attack my weasels.
Try a game and I'll sit measly on you.
He may be a measly twerp,
but he's deadly when he needs to be.
Yeah, I am.
Deadly.
I wasn't attacking your pistol-in-chal-brood.
I was only playing silly games with them.
He was. Only playing.
A game, yes.
Only a silly game.
measly?
Couldn't you say that Norse big swine was only playing?
I've had enough of this.
Look, these here weasels of yours
are a bad influence on my little snorter.
As I've adopted him as my own son,
I'm going to see to it that he's brought up like a proper wild boar.
And that means no weasels in his life.
He won't end up like one of those lazy good for nothing.
Farm yard pigs.
Not if I've anything to do with it.
No easy being a father, is it?
Did you hear what I said?
No weasels?
That means you got it.
Now clear off out of my cops.
Clear off.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes.
You're quite a boar on the subject.
Where did Piggy go?
Oh, Mike! Mike! Mike!
Piggy!
Oh, Mike! Oh, Mike!
Play out!
Why is he out?
Not more silly games.
Who's faster?
All right, stop rubbing it in.
Who's faster?
You are.
It's all right, Trey. There's a good fellow.
No need to get into a bad temper.
He's always in a bad temper.
I'm looking for a rabbit.
A particular rabbit.
It caused a stumpede of my herd this morning.
I'm going to stamp on it.
There's no need to stamp on any rabbits, Trey.
Shut up, you sly old fox.
Have you any idea the injuries a stumpede could cause?
I could lose half my herd.
Is that the rabbit?
That's not a rabbit.
Looks like one to me.
It's a hare.
Same thing. Stand back.
I'm going to bellow and chase you.
Smelly, flea-ridden foxes away from my pond.
Then I'm going to stamp on that rabbit.
Oh, I wouldn't bellow if I were you.
Lucky's right. Very bad idea.
Bad idea. Why?
It will cause a stampede.
Sure, too.
Have you any idea the injuries a stumpede could cause?
You might lose half your herd.
Just you wait till you're alone.
Just you wait.
Ready or not.
Here I am.
You win.
Win. Win what?
Oh, no. Nothing.
Who said I wanted to be?
I guess you can't look.
I guess all you did was swallow that present's prey.
Does that sound like trails?
I'm a betrayal ghost.
Who said I was that?
Wow.
I had a feeling that the ant came after all this.
Your
I'm trying to be silly.
And is it well?
However, thanks to Plucky's quick thinking, even the warden was now on our side. Meanwhile,
the baby weasel's picklet friend was causing complications.
Get out of here, go on.
And there was nothing any of us could do to save Adder's mate, Sinuous.
I'm the best there is at this game, matey. He'll come up here.
He'll come up here. I'm a superior life form. I can beat you at any game. Just you wait, matey.
I can hear him. So can I.
Shall I ask them?
Well, if you don't, I'll spend all day wondering what this was all about.
Toad, we don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?
It's a game, a very serious game.
That's right, matey. Demanding great intelligence. We have to guess where mossy mole will come up.
He'll come up here. Here, this is it. Any moment.
Yeah, you'll come up here.
He'll not hear me.
Does this mean I win the game?
You win, Rangers champion. He wins.
I want to hear Toad saying.
You win.
That's quite my motte.
Adda, are you all right?
How many rats have you killed today?
Well, none actually.
None. None.
I've killed a hundred.
More. Many more. I am to their nests.
They killed my seniors.
And I'll kill all of them. Everyone.
Look, there's the warden.
What's he doing?
He's pouring poison down our owl.
A city wood didn't I, NDAs? We must think we're stupid.
That'll show you.
Oh, get out of my park. You filthy little monsters.
What's that? A good game, eh?
Game.
He's bleeding.
He was only playing.
Humans is always playing games.
Oh, I'm forgetting. He left us poison.
And the creature, what eats that poison, dies dead.
He's twitching, foxes close, anything but walks, crawls or flies, dies.
They all dies in the most horrible pain they do.
It awards wasting his time.
That he knows some of us have got him, you know.
You know you must nothing before a phanger living in a sewer.
I brought you here to this lovely park. Come on.
Funny? I should have had a weak heart.
Is it something important? Fox is sleeping.
Yes, Ranger. Your report.
We saw the warden put it down poison for the rats.
Yes, well, that's good, isn't it?
It's not working.
Right, it's not. There's not enough poison in the world to kill them.
One rat ate the lot.
A big bag full. One greedy rat.
It'll never work.
Yes, Ranger. You're right.
The situation is hopeless.
We've lost. Fox, it's not like you to give up.
Your fox. The fox, you don't ever give up.
I'm sorry, Vixen. But I've tried my best.
They're lovel runners.
Any day now.
No, they won't.
Come on, Sharma. This fire is plucky.
We'll give those rats a proper scare.
Vixen, I can't help thinking.
What would Al do if she were here?
I didn't know what to do.
What?
I am a perfect specimen now.
But I don't mind admitting.
Well, I'm not wise enough for this problem.
Please, fellow flappers, mind you mate.
She's dying in prison inside cement.
Dying. What can I do?
Oh, shame, what a pity. What a pity.
I've tried feeding her what.
But I can't even get the worms into her.
She's shrinking away to nothing, you know.
Let me have a try. Who's got a worm?
I've got a worm. Give it to him.
Go on. Give it to him.
Let him get his own worms.
I
Ouch!
I'm not hungry.
She's alive. In there.
Beat up, dearest one.
You can't be my mate if you die of starvation, right?
Well, I've done what I can.
But I can't make her eat it.
She's eating. What? She's eating.
Eh, it's just the warm wiggling.
She's never eaten. She's done for she is.
Yo, we're off you.
I'm only stayed in the office.
She's more than half dead in there.
Bones and feathers admitted.
Yes, Robin. You're right.
She ate it. What? Did you see? She ate it.
I don't know what you're making our list for, fellow flapper.
Why don't you just take another mate?
What about her? There, behind you.
Oh, excuse me.
You are the best attractive I've ever seen.
You'll see.
I'm not going to let you go.
You're the best attractive I've ever seen.
Your silhouette before the wailing moon must be a sight to see.
But this hat-y old owl ruined inside cement,
it is she that I alone.
Please, yourself.
No, lose me. Fly away with her.
You'll be happy. Forget about me.
It's all over for me.
I know. Why don't we just shove her off the branch?
The cement would break when she hits the ground and head pressed out.
She'll come.
Yeah, you need a Robin for ideas like that.
The fall will kill her. What?
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Thank you. It might work.
Is it just might? Let us well try.
She's good a day if nothing's done.
Yes. Well, all right.
Let's get with the go over here.
Let's get forward to back and take a run at her.
My dearest owl, I love you.
Well, I have a funny feeling that something horrible is about to happen.
I love you.
Oh, speak to me. What? What?
Excuse me, but I think you've got the wrong owl.
What?
Here.
You'll come up here.
You'll come up here.
I can hear something.
Yes, something. You'll come up.
Here?
Lovely day. I spiked me, boy.
A lovely day for being a rat horn, wouldn't you say, eh?
Look at that face, lad.
What have we here then?
Kill it.
Help me!
Spike! Spike me!
Who am I?
Molly, Molly, Molly.
Trader!
Oh, dear. Hold on.
Oh, dear. Hold on.
Really or not? Here I am.
You've been toed. Toadweeds.
Get on with it. It's only a mole.
Spike, please help me.
It was my mate, mate.
Oh.
I do wish you wouldn't do that.
It's only you. I'd help for something bigger.
It's toad, the rats. They're attacking him.
Thousands of rats. Don't buy the data, Pat.
It'll be too late already.
Don't worry about a thing. Just leave it up to me.
Oh.
Stop that. I'll set try on you.
Yeah, get try, someone.
Carp. What silly skinny legs you do, Sreb.
Our legs are beautiful.
I'm very practical for getting about.
And for stamping on rabbits.
I'm a hare.
Yes, a hare. And I can run so fast.
Faster than you and those tweed legs of yours.
Or you can run faster than any rabbit.
So can I. Me too.
So can I. And me.
Let's see you then. Go on.
Adia.
Race me. Race me.
All right. You're on.
He came. It's good for you.
I
Get off.
Yeah.
It tastes horrible. Oh, great one.
Worthtouts are poisonous.
Rabbish. Toad's is tasty.
Spike. Help.
What's that? Thunder.
On such a lovely blue day.
Oh, hell, boys.
Hey, help.
No.
You need a prop.
Hello. Froggy, matey's.
How are you?
Oh.
It worked. I knew it worked.
Take me to the pond, matey's.
Wrap me in pond weed.
Oh.
Oh.
Dash. Stop it.
It's me. Spike.
Oops. Sorry, Spike.
It's a true rat.
I mean a nasty rat.
I am. A nasty rat.
Nasty. Nasty.
I'm in a race. Can't stop.
Cowed. We're stowed.
Some frogs carried him off to the pond.
What was left of him?
Oh.
Ledge. My handsome retis.
Oh.
Oh, Spike. My favourite boy.
Oh, at least you're all right.
What happened?
I'm all confused, right?
I'm nasty. Triterus. Bad. Bad.
Excuse me. Have you got any chance to see my mole?
Well, I will never play that game again.
It was such a good game. We had such fun.
I'm nasty. I know.
I'm a rotten stinger. I know.
I'm a big fat nasty rat.
Yes. I know.
Ercho. You're kind.
I'm very kind. Yes. Yes.
Have you seen my mole?
You forgive me, mole.
Yes. I suppose. What have you done?
What have I done?
Bullying his rats attacked Taued.
I didn't help him. I just stood there.
I don't think you'll live.
You will forgive me. Won't you?
Ercho. No.
I won't forgive you.
You won't? But I'm kind.
I know. But I still won't forgive you.
Easy, you're all right.
Ercho.
I'm going to Taued.
This rat said you were on your last legs before what a liar.
I'm setting me for nothing.
Taued. You're alive. You're all right.
Hello, my ease.
I do smart, oh.
And I'm covered in bumps.
You're a toward. You're always covered in bumps.
That's right.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't help you.
It's bullying. I was so scared of him.
You do forgive me, don't you?
Well, I don't know.
You're my best friend ever.
I'm not frightened anymore.
If it happens again, just you wait.
I'll fight like a terrier. I promise.
Yeah, all right. You were scared.
So was I. I forgive you, my ease.
Oh, thank you.
Oh.
No, I couldn't.
Be great.
You come back here as instant. You're a little squilla.
You like, like, like, like.
Oh, dear. I went through all these silly games
of my wife's last litter.
And now again.
What would a big bad boy do to us when he catches us?
Oh, he'll get his biggest sharpest tusk
and he'll stick it right through us.
I will scream and squill to it, Dad.
And me, me. What will he do to me?
Will he make me?
Oh, I can eat sausages.
Yeah, he'll slice you up in his tusks
until you just sausages.
And all the beetles and flies will gather you up.
You two are a very bad influence on piglets.
You're not going to
with your tusks.
You're like, kill them.
Like, dead. Like, oh, please, don't.
I'll let her watch.
Stop. You quite snorting pig.
Stop.
Oh, do something, measly.
I'll blame you for this.
That's it, measly. You show it.
That'll teach you to attack my weasels.
Try a game and I'll sit measly on you.
He may be a measly twerp,
but he's deadly when he needs to be.
Yeah, I am.
Deadly.
I wasn't attacking your pistol-in-chal-brood.
I was only playing silly games with them.
He was. Only playing.
A game, yes.
Only a silly game.
measly?
Couldn't you say that Norse big swine was only playing?
I've had enough of this.
Look, these here weasels of yours
are a bad influence on my little snorter.
As I've adopted him as my own son,
I'm going to see to it that he's brought up like a proper wild boar.
And that means no weasels in his life.
He won't end up like one of those lazy good for nothing.
Farm yard pigs.
Not if I've anything to do with it.
No easy being a father, is it?
Did you hear what I said?
No weasels?
That means you got it.
Now clear off out of my cops.
Clear off.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes.
You're quite a boar on the subject.
Where did Piggy go?
Oh, Mike! Mike! Mike!
Piggy!
Oh, Mike! Oh, Mike!
Play out!
Why is he out?
Not more silly games.
Who's faster?
All right, stop rubbing it in.
Who's faster?
You are.
It's all right, Trey. There's a good fellow.
No need to get into a bad temper.
He's always in a bad temper.
I'm looking for a rabbit.
A particular rabbit.
It caused a stumpede of my herd this morning.
I'm going to stamp on it.
There's no need to stamp on any rabbits, Trey.
Shut up, you sly old fox.
Have you any idea the injuries a stumpede could cause?
I could lose half my herd.
Is that the rabbit?
That's not a rabbit.
Looks like one to me.
It's a hare.
Same thing. Stand back.
I'm going to bellow and chase you.
Smelly, flea-ridden foxes away from my pond.
Then I'm going to stamp on that rabbit.
Oh, I wouldn't bellow if I were you.
Lucky's right. Very bad idea.
Bad idea. Why?
It will cause a stampede.
Sure, too.
Have you any idea the injuries a stumpede could cause?
You might lose half your herd.
Just you wait till you're alone.
Just you wait.
Ready or not.
Here I am.
You win.
Win. Win what?
Oh, no. Nothing.
Who said I wanted to be?
I guess you can't look.
I guess all you did was swallow that present's prey.
Does that sound like trails?
I'm a betrayal ghost.
Who said I was that?
Wow.
I had a feeling that the ant came after all this.
Your
I'm trying to be silly.
And is it well?