Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e11 Episode Script

1
(Alarm rings)
(Sirens)
Blast!
Blast!
Ugh!
Me, valmont, mastermind
of the dark hand,
fleeing authorities
like a common--
both: Oof!
You!
You!
The supplies for
my locator spell!
You shall suffer for
what you have done!
What I have done?
You transformed my enforcers
into samurai zombies!
I've been reduced
to performing
my own dirty work.
Return Finn, ratso,
and chow to me at once!
Heh! Why
would daolon wong
heed the demands
of an insignificant
pickpocket?
UhBecause
I'm bigger than you!
Oh?
Aah!
Heh! Not anymore.
Blaaast!
Come on.
No!
The whole time
we've been in America,
I haven't grown
one inch.
I'm never gonna
grow up, Jackie!
Patience, Jade.
Enjoy your childhood
while it lasts.
Tsk! I've a billion years
of school left,
I can't reach anything
in the freezer,
and I never get invited
on your missions.
Way enjoyable.
Uncle: Hot cha!
(Whinnying)
Uncle's locator spell
is complete.
The horse is somewhere
in London, england.
(british accent) Cheerio!
Either of you chaps
fancy a spot of tea before
we hop across the pond?
Captain black
has a jet
waiting for us.
And he's agreed
to look after Jade.
(british accent) What?
(american accent)
I mean, what?!
Come, Jackie!
We must hurry!
Captain black will be here
any minute, Jade.
Then I don't
have much time.
Me, valmont,
forced to ask Jackie chan
for help again!
Quickly! We must
not let daolon wong
claim the healing power
of the horse.
No. We mustn't.
Maybe Jackie'll let me
come to London
if this grow-up spell
makes me older!
Work already!
Oh, whatever, I'm going
to London anyway.
Unh! Uncle, have
you ever considered
traveling lightly? Unh!
Uncle is
traveling lightly.
Brought only
one cauldron.
Jade: Unh! Nngh!
It may not be
first class
Valmont: Ow!
Aah!
Aah!
What are you
doing here?
What are you
doing small?
Captain black,
is Jade staying
out of trouble?
Uh, actually
(Muffled)
What?!
Where did she--ow!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ohhh.
Heh heh!
Hey, Jackie.
Uh, she's with me.
Brilliant!
Now I have
a paper cut!
Ohh! Tohru, it is
your former boss!
Uh, half of him.
Valmont?
What happened?
Well, how should I know?
I must have nicked it
on one of the codger's
confounded books.
Boy genius,
what happened as in
how come you're
suddenly ordering
off the kid's menu?
Ohh, it's
- humiliating, really.
That batty old
wizard cursed me!
Oh! Daolon wong!
But the horse talisman
will heal me.
Tsk! News flash!
The talismans
are history.
The horse we're after
is an animal.
You'd best
watch your tone
with me, child!
Why should I, child?
B-b-because I am
bigger than you!
Ohh.
(Chanting)
While uncle and I
search for the horse,
you two will wait here
and stay out of trouble.
Ohhh.
Now see here,
just because I look
like a child
doesn't mean you can
treat me like one!
I am treating you
like a criminal.
Tohru will treat you
like a child.
Now, are you going
to be a good little boy?
You're not the boss of me,
you're not the boss of me
ohhh. Please behave.
And Jackie thinks
I'm a handful.
(Crash)
So, will you
take me to chan,
or shall I
ring room service
for some dessert?
Grrr.
Tsk, tsk. I'm just
a child, remember?
So am I, remember?
Now, tell tohru
you're sorry.
Why should I?
Because I'm bigger
than you!
Ohh! You are!
I am?
2 whole inches!
I'm getting older.
My grow-up spell's
working!
Grow-up spell?
Well, why didn't you
say something?
I command you
to cast this spell
on me immediately!
You don't own me.
Do it!
No!
Yes!
Never!
Now!
(Rings)
No dice!
Why, you--
hello? Jackie, you are
at the kempton racecourse?
I'm just waiting
for uncle to pick
a noble winner.
(Chanting)
How are things
at day care?
Fine. Bye.
Call Jackie back.
Now that I'm older,
he'll probably
want me to help.
Hmm.
Where's valmont?
Where to, little man?
Kempton racecourse.
And if you call me
that again,
I shall have you
eliminated.
Remain here.
I will find him.
But my grow-up spell--
I'll be of voting age
before you know it.
No.
Tohru
Do I look older to you?
Tsk!
This is so
ànot the growing up
I had in mind.
But spell or no spell,
we gotta grab valmont.
Unh!
Please, just
stay in the room.
Uh, don't think I can.
Royal medicine?
See? That is
the healer we seek.
Whoa!
Heh! I'm big-boned.
Jade, I promised Jackie
that I would keep you
our of trouble.
Tsk!
It's just not fair
that valmont gets
to play and I don't.
Sorry, t!
Ohhh.
Children.
Announcer on p.A.:
All jockeys and horses
to the starting
gate, please.
Prepare to race!
Gan! Ren! Chui!
I'm Finn.
He's ratso.
That's chow.
Would it kill you
to learn our names?
The horse!
Ok, stretch. Get off
your high horse--
unhand me,
you buffoons!
Whoa!
It's big v!
And he's mini.
Indeed. I attempted
to liberate you three,
and that rancid prune
of a wizard
burdened me with this
Juvenile curse!
Ohh! You tried
to rescue us?
Aww!
We didn't know
you cared.
Forget the child!
Claim the horse!
Uh, I saw it first?
If you are here,
where is Jade?
Being humongous
rules--oof!
Except for the low
overhang problem.
Jackie! Stop
horsing around!
You will not survive
my fiery stare--oh!
See what you've
reduced me to?
I'm helping
chan--uhh!
Be careful.
I have a paper cut,
you know.
A mere flesh wound
is the least
of your worries.
(Dark warriors shouting)
Finn:
- Ease up, sweaty.
No one touches
little v with us around.
At least
valmont bothered
to learn our names.
And he's
so cute nowBoss.
I am not your boss.
Waah!
I am your master!
Dark warriors: Aah!
Finn: Yes, master!
Chow: We'll be
good, master!
Giddy up!
(Warriors moaning)
Fetch!
Yes, master!
You got it, master!
Whatever
you say, master!
You three
are pathetic!
Announcer on p.A.:
And they're off!
Aiyaaaa!
Clancy's brown fancy
out in front
with little blue sue
moving to the inside,
butWhat's this?
Royal medicine
is taking the lead
with 2 jockeys.
Please tell
royal medicine's owner
I will send him
a check, thank you!
Astonishing!
Royal medicine has now
left the course entirely
withIt would seem
Circus clowns in pursuit.
Jade? Jade?
Jade!
Whoa!
(Big Ben chimes)
Well, at least I'm getting
to see lon--ohh!
You will pay for that!
Nice shooting,
part--naah!
Well, isn't that just dandy?
The one time
I want chan to win,
he makes a hash of it!
Ha ha ha!
With the power
of healing,
I shall become
invincible--eh?
Say hello
to my friend flicka!
Aah!
Grrr!
Ohh!
Aiya!
Jade?!
Whoa, there,
little fella. It's ok.
Shh.
Jade! What happened
to you?
Attack!
Talk later!
Wahh!
You're going down,
queen Kong!
The bigger they are,
the harder they--
they didn't
see that coming?
Honestly!
Why did I ever
want them back?
Just call me Jade-zilla.
You will give me
the horse.
Try and take it, tiny.
Oh?
Perhaps you should
be picked upon
by something
your own size.
Big trouble.
(Roars)
Jade, step away
from the ogre!
So you can take him
on, tom thumb?
With the healing
horse in my pocket,
I can't get injured.
Ok, handsome,
this town ain't big enough
for the both of us.
Be careful, Jade!
The best offense
is a good--ohh!
My kingdom
for that horse!
I will not endure
another moment
of immaturity.
Hee-yah!
Grrargh! Hmm?
(Chanting)
Stone magic?
I shall immobilize
you first!
(Chanting)
(Both chanting)
(Both mumbling)
In case of emergency,
use the fire escape.
Valmont, come down!
You are going
to get--ohh!
Ohh--oop!
Aah!
Aah!
Nngh!
Mmnhh!
Well, this is
a demolition site.
Got you!
Ohh! My paper cut!
Oh, sorry!
Tricked you! The wound
is on my finger.
Tsk! I'm packing
horse power, which means
You can't hurt me!
aah! Unh!
Tally ho!
(Neighs)
(Gulps) Now you can
hurt me. Whoa!
(Both grunting)
Rrgh! Hands off
Mrs. ed.
Right then,
break the curse.
Make me big!
Squander my youth!
Come on, heal me!
That's it?
- You healed my paper cut?
I am still a child,
you incompetent nag!
Let me go!
(Muttering)
Looks like
you're gonna need
a bigger ogre.
And it looks like
you are going to need
an antidote, Jade.
Ohhhh.
(Mumbling)
I'm not
the only one.
Valmont: Hello!
Take your blasted pony!
Just get me down from here!
Sorry I got too big
for my britches, t.
Valmont:
Chop-chop, old man!
I'm not getting
any younger, you know.
Manners! Or uncle will
put you back in diapers.
Ohh, all right, then.
Daddy's little boy
is all grown up!
Ta-ta! Must make up
for my wasted youth.
Lead a life
of crime, perhaps.
Valmont
You're under arrest.
What? No!
Reverse the spell!
Please! I demand
to be tried as a minor!
See, Jade? Sometimes,
it is not good
to grow up too fast.
Hey, Jackie.
Yes?
Do you like
to ride a horse?
Yes, the horse is good.
I just don't know
how they can train them.
It's not a horse anymore,
it's like a dog.
It just follows
wherever I go.
I run, he runs,
I stop, he stops.
I wish I had one
of these kind of horses.
But now, I'm kind of--
not professional,
I'm pretty good at it.