Elsbeth (2024) s03e12 Episode Script

1
FELIX: If you want to feel good,
the best you've ever felt,
if you want to look
in the mirror and say,
"Yeah, that's who I want to be,"
plus you can afford 20 to 30 grand,
there are only five people in
New York who can make it happen.
Yeah, the ship has made port.
40 containers are being offloaded now.
- Oh, thank goodness!
- [OVERLAPPING, URGENT CHATTER]
FELIX: Bobs, beehives, bouffants.
That's right. I'm talking about hair.
These are the best wigmakers
in the city.
They call us
I really do,
and I'm responsible for this
FELIX: Bruce Grellan.
Handles opera, theatre,
ballet and pageants.
He's had three Miss Americas.
We won't say which ones.
- Listen
- FELIX: Andrea Fowler.
Does the Upper East Side
"ladies who lunch"
and the Orthodox community.
She makes the best sheitels
on the East Coast.
[SPEAKS ITALIAN] Please.
FELIX: Domenico Cappelli.
Creates looks for the divas
of TV, film and music,
including Cynthia Erivo's bald cap.
Allegedly.
Living trust.
FELIX: Persimmon makes wigs
for the drag world and exotic dancers.
She's made an art
of the comfortable merkin.
And then there's me.
Please! I don't have anything.
FELIX: Felix West.
They call me the Rug Doctor.
I do convincing toupees
for Wall Street types
and wigs for medical hair loss.
My hairpieces may not get
write-ups inDress Up magazine,
but it's noble work.
At least, that's what I tell myself.
[OVERLAPPING, URGENT CHATTER CONTINUES]
CUSTOMS AGENT: Yep, here it is.
Your shipment is delayed.
- What?! Delayed?!
- [OVERLAPPING, ANGRY CHATTER]
Listen, listen.
I have the
Rosenkrantz-Schwartzman wedding
and the Schumer bris on Saturday!
And I can't tell two Drag Racechampions
they're gonna be bald Friday night.
I have a pageant mom
threatening bodily violence
if she doesn't get the wiglet I promised
for Little Miss Manhattan!
[OVERLAPPING, PLEADING CHATTER]
Okay.
Sir, we paid extra
for a rush on Molten-Gold.
It has to be here.
Molten-Gold is the good stuff.
Virgin, blond hair, never been treated.
As silky as it is rare.
I don't know what to tell you people.
Try again tomorrow.
- PERSIMMON: [STAMMERS] What?!
- [OVERLAPPING, ANGRY CHATTER]
FELIX: So, here I am, struggling
to finish another toupee
for a crypto king's wedding
in Lake Como.
The same old grind.
That is, until she walks in.
[SULTRY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
I would've recognized
that head anywhere.
22, maybe 22 and 1/8th inches.
That Dame of Daytime.
Lina Vyanti.
Felix, right?
I'm so sorry to barge in like this,
but I just had to see you.
Me?
You made a wig for
one of my producers, Britney,
when she was going through chemo.
Can you do the same for me?
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
Wh-When did you find out?
Oh, no. [SCOFFS]
- I'm not sick.
- Oh.
Five days a week at America's
breakfast table in HD
I'm so tired of those haters
nitpicking my wigs.
I just want one of
your flawless, natural looks.
But you're a client
of Domenico Cappelli.
And he's been great up until
now, but I need a new look.
Oh, I can't take a client
from another wigmaker.
It's just not done.
What if I pay you extra?
Introduce you to all my showbiz friends.
FELIX: And there it is.
A ticket out of the Wall Street
offices and sad hospital wards.
Did I lose you?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Ms. Vyanti
Lina, please.
Lina. [CHUCKLES]
You know something? I'll do it.
- [GASPS] Great.
- [LAUGHS]
Will you have it in time
for the Dress Up Annual Gala?
This Saturday?
I need to look fabulous.
Gisela Mott is a dictator in Dior.
For you, Lina, of course.
Now, listen, Domenico says my
hair color's impossible to find.
Oh. Don't worry, Lina.
[CHUCKLES] I've got a stockpile.
You can count on me.
Everything is going according to plan.
The Lina Coif is nearly complete.
Some of my best work.
I just need to
What?
I only have the sideswept bang
to finish, but I'm out of hair!
No!
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [PASSING HORN HONKS]
[SIGHS] Without that hair,
my dream is dead.
Frizzed out before
it ever had a chance to set.
And then I see it.
My ticket out of toupee torment:
a Molten-Gold ponytail.
I don't know who she is. I don't care.
I'm blinded by the glow
of that Molten-Gold.
It's fate.
[SCISSORS SNIP]
Everything is about to change.
Once Lina struts the Dress Up red carpet
in a Felix original,
the sky's the limit:
magazine profiles,
the cover ofSnip and Tell.
Oprah and Gayle will fight over me!
I'm on my way.
[RINGTONE PLAYING]
Hello?
Hello, Felix.
It's, uh, Domenico Cappelli.
Oh, hi.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't see you at the customs office.
You know, the shipment arrived,
finalmente.
Oh, that's great news.
Yeah.
So, maybe the Rug Doctor, he
doesn't need that hair anymore?
I'm sorry. What do you mean by that?
I think you and I need to talk.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Hello?
Domenico?
[SAUCE BUBBLING]
- [GASPING]
- What do you think you're doing?
People who steal clients, they
don't get to eat Mama's sauce.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, falso. Lina Vyanti.
She canceled her appointment.
She told me she was gonna use
her natural hair
at the Dress Up Gala.
Che ridicolo.
A good sauce,
it's-it's like a good client.
It takes time. It takes patience.
You nurture it, you stir,
you stir, and you wait.
- [YELPS]
- I put in my time with Lina,
and you just think
you can take her away from me?
So, this is what we're gonna do.
From now on, you are gonna
consider yourself my employee.
- Your employee?
- Yeah, that's right.
I am gonna take a percentage
of every wig you produce.
You know what?
You are really living up
to an Italian stereotype.
Oh, yeah? Yeah?
Well, if you don't,
I'm gonna tell everyone
where you got the Molten-Gold
for Lina's wig.
That's right.
I know about your little pony snip.
And when word gets out
that you're using stolen hair,
you are finito, Rug Doctor. Over!
[DOMENICO STAMMERS]
They won't even hire you at
the Spirited Girl Doll factory!
How much do you want?
Considering? I'll be very reasonable.
I want 40%.
40 perc That's extortion!
Esatto.
So do we have a deal?
Okay. Fine.
We have a deal.
Grazie.
[YELLS WILDLY]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
- [SIZZLING]
- [SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
[BOTH STRAINING]
- [SIZZLING]
- [SCREAMING]
[CHOKING]
[BODY THUDS]
[GROANS]
CHANDLER:
Oh, uh, this way, Ms. Tascioni.
Ms. Tascioni.
Officer Chandler,
can I ask you something?
If you respond to your mother's
text with just a thumbs-up,
that's not good, is it?
I mean, it's not bad,
but it's not good either.
It's like emotional beige.
You're analyzing emojis?
Yeah, maybe I'll just tell him
You want my advice?
Play it cool. Let him come to you.
It's a new thing I'm trying.
Talk less, listen more.
Well, I'm pretty sure
he's mad at me. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, it happens. You're his mom.
He'll reach out eventually.
We always do.
I don't know.
I'm not very good at Whoa.
What is that incredible smell?
[SNIFFING]
- [ELSBETH GASPS]
- [CAMERA CLICKING]
- Ooh.
- [QUIET CHATTER]
Ow! [HISSES]
[SIGHS]
- [SNIFFS]
- Tascioni.
- It's a crime scene.
- But it smells so good.
I agree, but tasting a dead man's sauce
doesn't scream proper protocol.
Copy that.
Back away from the gravy. Mmm.
MAMA CAPPELLI: That's what the kids
in the neighborhood call it.
In Sicily, it's "sugo," sauce.
My ex-husband Michael
used to call it "gravy."
And my ex-mother-in-law
used to call me "una stramba."
"An odd woman." I've heard worse.
My ex said she meant it
as a term of endearment.
And then we got divorced.
[SMACKS LIPS] So, you made the sauce?
Sì.I always cook for Domenico.
And his clients.
You know what they call their fittings?
Cappelli's "Wig Feedings."
They loved it.
And now, finito.Done.
They took the beautiful wigs,
and they took my Domenico.
Il mio bambino.
Mama Cappelli found her son
on the floor and called 911.
He was the wigmaker to the stars.
Wow.
Your son worked with
all of these celebrities?
Sì.
Cher, Dolly, Lady Gaga.
Diana Ross.
That one alone was worth $30,000.
The others only 15, 20.
If they were so expensive,
why not take all of them?
Whoever killed my boy knew to
take the most expensive pieces.
Yeah, who knew these things
could cost that much?
My boy did not make "things"!
He was an artist!
Scusi. I-I have to lie down.
[SIGHS]
[MUTTERING IN ITALIAN]
So sad.
So, this wigmaker was strangled?
Mm-hmm. With some type of cord.
Notice the ligature marks on the
neck parallel, well-defined.
Mm.
Ooh, this is a nasty burn.
Occupational hazard?
Or could've been the result
of a struggle.
ELSBETH: Huh.
I don't see a curling iron here.
That could be the murder weapon.
Perp might have taken it.
Maybe they tried to rob the
place and Domenico fought back.
- Any sign of forced entry?
- Not a scratch on the lock.
So, our suspect is a wig expert
who knew Domenico.
And used Domenico's own tools
to strangle him.
So it's not a robbery gone wrong.
It's a murder staged
to look like a robbery.
Yes.
So
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Ow. Oops.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Sorry.
The killer waltzed into the studio
unlocked or he was let in
and confronted Domenico.
A struggle ensued.
[GRUNTING]
And then the killer wrapped the cord
around Domenico's neck and
[IMITATES CHOKING]
Must be hard to strangle someone
with a hot appliance.
So?
So, maybe Domenico was not
the only one who
got burned.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
A wigmaker was strangled
with a curling iron?
Did his customer not like the wig?
BOBBY: Mm, doubtful.
This wasn't any ordinary wigmaker.
Domenico Cappelli was
wigmaker to the stars.
Yeah, look at his client list.
Whoa.
Quite a few divas here.
BOBBY: They're the only ones
who could afford it.
A custom Domenico went for
20, 30 grand or more.
- For a wig?
- Well, they are pretty amazing.
They're like these works of art
with real human hair.
Still, it's hard to imagine
any one of these Oscar winners
being driven to murder.
Even a nominee.
So, what's your take?
Old-fashioned turf war.
According to the trade magazine
Snip and Tell,
there's only four other
wigmakers in New York
who can command that much
for one of these "works of art."
And you think one of them wanted
Domenico Cappelli's celebrity clients?
And staged it to look like
a robbery gone wrong.
I've seen it before.
One drug kingpin wants to expand,
so he smokes his rival
and steals his product.
Only in this case, the, uh, product is
2,000 grams of Molten-Gold.
Are we still talking about hair?
Apparently, Molten-Gold is
virgin, blond hair.
Very expensive,
especially now with the tariffs.
Bring in the rival wigmakers
for questioning.
- Already on it.
- Good.
I've got a donor
to the Payne-Wagner Foundation
coming in.
Says his daughter is being bullied.
Isn't that something that
a school counselor should be handling?
Uh, well, the donor has been
very generous.
Oh, so you got to treat it
like a real case.
- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry, Cap. Good luck.
Uh Elsbeth?
- No update on Teddy?
- Ah, no.
- I think he's still avoiding me.
- Oh.
He's not happy that
you're dating Alec Bloom.
I don't think he trusts him.
Did he say that?
Not explicitly.
Officer Chandler thinks I should wait
for Teddy to reach out to me.
Well, sounds like good advice.
But I'm not great at boundaries.
Oh, Teddy will come around.
[GROANS]
Oh, one more thing.
Our killer might have gotten
burned by the curling iron
during the struggle. [SPUTTERS]
Like, maybe on an arm or
Uh, since we don't have cause
for a physical search,
let's hope that any injuries
are easy to spot.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
BOBBY: What wigmaker wouldn't want
one of Domenico's fancy clients?
[SCOFFS] Oh, please.
I've done wigs for Renée Fleming,
Joyce DiDonato and all of
Zeffirelli's Turandot.
I don't need Domenico's soap stars.
Must you stand so close?
Sorry, I just, uh,
I noticed a little hair there
on your shirt.
Oh. Well, comes with the job.
Which I need to get back to.
It's Wiggageddon.
Uh, Wiggageddon?
It's when wigmakers like me get no sleep
because dozens of big events
are happening all at once.
My East Side clients are
jetting off to Paris for Fashion Week.
My Orthodox Jewish clients
have a big wedding
plus Purim parties.
And they all need wigs.
Is there a problem?
Do you always wear turtlenecks?
- When it's cold.
- Ah.
And what happens if Domenico
has hair and you don't?
[SCOFFS] Domenico didn't have hair,
except for some disappointing bundles
that came in from Latvia.
But if any of us had any extra
of the good stuff, we'd share.
- All's fair in hair.
- Mm.
You ever consider a toupee?
They've come a long way from the
rugs our grandfathers used to wear.
[SCOFFS] Those were pretty bad.
Yeah, but I'm not bald.
Not technically, but with
what we're capable of now,
we could take years off your age.
I've got no problem with my age.
Hmm.
Anyway, I don't need Domenico's clients.
I've already got more business
than I can handle.
Besides, we are happy to have
our own little fiefdoms.
And yours is drag and?
Exotic dancers, and I also make
very realistic merkins.
- Merkins?
- Pubic wigs.
- They're a godsend.
- Hmm.
- Can I help you with something?
- Is that a scar?
An unfortunate tattoo
imperfectly removed.
Are you, uh, quite finished,
Ms. Tascioni?
Yeah.
- Where was I?
- Fiefdoms.
Oh, right. So, you didn't want Domenico
to be part of your little fiefdom?
Well, the four of us did discuss
- reaching out to Domenico's clients.
- So you did want them?
Well, his clients were gonna have to get
their wigs from somewhere,
and we were the only ones who could meet
their exacting standards.
- Have you talked to any of them?
- No.
I haven't had much time.
All we've done so far is
hammer out who would call whom,
and for some reason, Felix is
only interested in Lina Vyanti.
Which is crazy.
Why? She difficult?
Oh, no, no, no,
I hear she's a sweetheart.
It's just that her color is Molten-Gold.
Which is impossible to get right now.
ELSBETH: Hmm.
So why did he want her so badly?
Oh, I'm a huge fan.
BOBBY: Of Lina Vyanti?
Well, why not Lady Gaga
or any other, uh, of Domenico's clients?
Lina Vyanti has a great head for wigs.
- Mm.
- But it's silly.
I don't even know if she'll talk to me.
Well, how would you even make
a wig for Lina
when Molten-Gold is so scarce?
Well, she might not need
a wig right away.
- Ah.
- Ah.
But I thought that everyone did
because it's, um
What do they call it?
Oh. Wiggageddon!
- BOBBY: Yeah, Wiggageddon.
- [ELSBETH GIGGLES]
Well, fortunately, I'm very
conservative with my hair,
not like some of these other artistes.
I save and reuse whenever possible.
Well, we're, um, definitely
gonna have to, uh, talk
to Domenico's clients.
- ELSBETH: Yeah.
- Good luck.
Lina Vyanti is
the busiest person in showbiz.
I'm sure she wants
nothing to do with this.
Domenico and I had been
together for decades.
But the thought that Domenico
was murdered in his own shop,
I mean, it's incomprehensible.
Mm, so many of his clients
have said the same thing.
And with all the events coming up,
they're all scrambling
to find new wigmakers.
Well, I feel for them.
But I just happened
to already commission
a wig from somebody else.
- BOBBY: May we ask who?
- Felix West.
You heard of him?
- You don't say.
- Mm.
It's not that I didn't
love Domenico. I did.
It's just that
- HD shows every flyaway.
- BOBBY: Mm.
It was time to be more realistic
and less detectable.
But, God, am I gonna miss
Mama Cappelli's gravy.
- Mm.
- Ah! Did you hear that?
She called it "gravy."
Well, I'm a Jersey girl.
- BOBBY: Uh, it's funny.
- [ELSBETH CHUCKLES]
Felix never mentioned
that he already had you as a client.
You spoke to Felix?
Yes, and I think
we'll speak to him again.
[SIGHS] Please excuse the mess.
If I'd known you were coming,
I would have tidied up.
Oh, that's okay.
We just have a few follow-up questions.
Ooh!
The variety. Ah.
It's extraordinary.
Hey, look at this toupee.
Wow.
Looks so realistic.
You charge $9,000 for that?
Each strand of human hair is handwoven.
It can take up to 40 hours to complete.
Wow.
- That sounds like tedious work.
- Not for me.
It's like playing with
my sister's Barbie dolls,
only I don't get in trouble
for doing it.
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
And of course, there's
a lot more hair to deal with.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Well, people who have medical hair loss
are just so grateful when they
have a realistic-looking wig.
Oh.
I'm giving them their identity back.
[SIGHS] That must be so rewarding.
Course, they never tell anybody
they're wearing a hairpiece,
but I know it.
You know what?
You would look amazing
in something like this.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
I enjoy wearing pretty hats.
Oh, but you've got that rare trifecta:
forehead, jawline and cheekbones.
Trust me. You've got to try this on.
Twist my arm.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Maybe if I, uh, became a blond,
then the press won't recognize
me as the mysterious redhead
fraternizing with
a certain mayoral candidate.
Huh. You have
a deceptively diminutive head.
Huh.
You're next.
Oh, we're not here to shop.
Uh, we're here because
we spoke to Lina Vyanti.
You mind telling us
why you had everyone thinking
that you were targeting
Ms. Vyanti as a client
when you had already stolen her?
I didn't steal her.
She practically begged me
to work with her
and her HD flyaways.
Why didn't you tell us that?
Oh, I couldn't let the world know
that Lina Vyanti was unhappy
with Domenico's work
so soon after his tragic passing.
That wouldn't be right.
BOBBY: Do you think that Domenico knew
that Lina was planning on leaving him?
Probably not.
When you have a client list
like Domenico's,
you're too busy to notice such things.
You know, it's just him
and Mama Marinara
or whatever her name is.
But it's Wiggageddon.
I mean, wouldn't Domenico expect
Lina Vyanti to order a wig?
Wouldn't he find it strange
if she didn't request one?
Well, you know
these show business people.
They're always recycling
old material. [CHUCKLES]
We need to talk to Domenico's mama.
Yeah? You think
she actually knows something
- or are you just hungry?
- [CHUCKLES]
Sauce aside,
Mama might be able to tell us
if Domenico knew that
Felix poached Lina Vyanti.
Because if he did,
that would speak to motive.
Eh. Well, you go.
I've got an appointment with my barber.
Right now?
Yeah, I need a haircut.
It's one thing to be jealous of her.
Now, that is to be expected.
But this I mean,
this is bullying, is it not?
I mean, look at her.
Dad, it's not that big of a deal.
This girl ambushed you
days before regionals.
Brynlynn rides dressage.
- Oh.
- And she could medal this year.
Brynlynn, you have any idea
which girl is responsible for bullying?
They're all jealous.
It could be any one of them.
So, can you help?
Uh, well, this isn't normally
in my purview,
but I'll look into it.
Here is a list of suspects.
I would start with Rebecca.
Her parents are separated.
[SIGHS]
MAMA CAPPELLI: [SIGHS] È triste, no?
No sauce simmering on the stove.
- You didn't get rid of it, did you?
- No.
But I was too sad to eat.
Wait here. I'll give you
a jar to take home.
- Ah.
- [SPEAKS ITALIAN]
[LAUGHS] Thank you.
I mean, only if it's no trouble.
- Nessun problema.
- Okay.
[EXCLAIMS]
Maybe I can make my famous lasagna
and invite Teddy and Roy.
No, you can't.
Oh, come on. Teddy is a Tascioni.
He would never refuse
homemade Sicilian gravy.
Ooh, and I can pick up cannolis
from Puppeta's for dessert.
- Elsbeth, give me the phone.
- [SIGHS]
I just don't know how much
longer I can go on like this.
It's been a few hours.
ELSBETH: Oh. Grazie.
Dai. It's the least I could do.
Mama Cappelli, did Domenico tell you
that Felix West poached Lina Vyanti?
The sad toupee maker? [CLICKS TONGUE]
Non è possibile.
CHANDLER: Lina Vyanti admitted it.
No. She calls herself Italian.
Is there any chance that
Domenico found out about this?
Well, if he did, my Dom
wouldn't take that lying down.
So, you think he was angry enough
to confront Felix about it?
- Mm. Assolutamente.
- [GASPS]
Wow. I had no idea that
wig making was so political.
Sempre.
But I'm from Sicily.
Real politics is worse.
Mm.
[PHONES RINGING]
VICTOR: I don't know what to tell you.
Either Alec Bloom's a saint or
his skeletons are well-hidden.
I may be able to help you
find something.
- You have a lead?
- No.
But I have a new friend
who is close to Mr. Bloom.
This better be good.
I spent hours yesterday trying to get
straight answers
out of 14-year-old girls.
Hours I will never get back.
Well, did you find the culprit?
Yeah, they're all bullies.
It's like Lord of the Flies but meaner.
Well, here's some good news.
We have a possible suspect
in the Domenico Cappelli murder.
- A rival wigmaker?
- ELSBETH: Yes.
Felix West.
Yeah, we think that Domenico and Felix
may have been warring over
a celebrity client.
I mean, we don't have any proof,
not yet at least,
but it's a hairy situation.
Save the puns. I'm not in the mood.
All right.
Oh. Sorry.
Yeah.
WINNIE: Elsbeth Tascioni, there you are.
Oh, Winnie Crawford. Hello.
Is everything all right?
I was hoping to take you to lunch.
That is if you weren't just humoring me
about wanting to get together again.
Oh, no. I-I meant it.
It's just my schedule is so tight
I'll be having lunch at my desk today.
Meals are meant to be shared.
Let me bring lunch to you.
Oh, okay. [CHUCKLES]
How can I say no?
Um, I have an appointment,
a fitting actually,
but I could meet you after
in like an hour?
- Perfect. I'll see you then.
- Okay.
Whoa.
She wearing a wig?
Winnie Crawford?
- BOBBY: Yeah.
- I don't think so. Why?
I'm beginning to feel like
everybody's wearing one.
I'm pretty sure that's her natural hair.
Hey, how about this guy?
Um
Eh. Never mind.
Are you ready for a whole new you?
[GASPS] Boy, am I.
Oh, um, this is Officer Reese Chandler.
He's just gonna ask you
a few questions while you work.
More questions?
Well, you certainly are thorough.
- [ELSBETH CHUCKLES]
- Come.
- Sit.
- Oh.
And now prepare to be transformed.
[SIGHS]
Uh, Mr. West, you mind
telling us what you and Domenico
spoke about when he called you
the other day?
What we spoke about?
Yes. We noticed that when we
checked Domenico's phone records
that he called you
the night before he died.
Oh, that phone call.
- Did you talk about Lina Vyanti?
- [CHUCKLES] Well
She is a common topic
of conversation, but no.
So what did you talk about?
Oh, everyone was wigging out that day.
He called to see
if I had any lace closures.
Ooh, what are lace closures?
Just transparent strips of lace
that mimic the look of the scalp.
Is that all it was?
Well, then why did Domenico call you
from the landline
in his mother's bedroom?
[CHUCKLES]
It is none of my business
why he was in his mama's room.
Those two were awfully close.
Well, don't you think it's strange
that he didn't call you
from his cell phone?
It's almost as if he was trying
to hide his communication with you.
- Hold your thumbs up.
- Oh.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- [GASPS]
Oh, it was
a nothing little conversation.
- But this?
- Huh?
This is everything.
- Oh, behold.
- Okay.
Do you love it?
It's very Meghan Markle.
Oh, well. On to the next.
- Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh.
Hey, is this Lina Vyanti's?
Yeah. Do you like it?
Oh, I'll say.
You know, Domenico's wigs
were gorgeous and showy,
but not like this one.
Of course, most of his good wigs
were stolen.
Mm.
- It's too bad.
- Yeah.
If we could find them,
that sure would be helpful.
Well, it's a good thing
you're on the case.
What about that one?
- Oh.
- Huh?
Don't you think it's too much?
For you? It's not showy enough.
Oh, you are a woman who needs something
that is truly fabulous.
[CHUCKLES]
I know where we can
get some inspiration.
What are you doing on Saturday morning?
WINNIE: I love what you've done
with your hair.
Oh, thanks.
Honestly, it's a wig.
Well, I like it. [CHUCKLES]
And I applaud your courage.
I've done the same thing with
my hair for years. [CHUCKLES]
I'm glad we're doing this.
- Yeah.
- Though I must confess
I do have an ulterior motive.
Oh, don't worry.
It's not about my husband.
[SIGHS]
I'm on the board of
a women's voting organization,
and many of our board members
have been quite charmed
by your friend, Alec Bloom.
[CHUCKLES]: Oh.
Are you one of them?
I disagree with him on policy,
but the way he appeals
to different constituencies
is undeniable.
He is so appealing. [CHUCKLES]
It's like he was created in a lab.
Well, I think people sense how
much he truly loves the city.
In light of the troubling
revelations about my husband,
I'm I'm more concerned
with his character than anything else.
Oh, of course.
So tell me.
Do you trust him?
Yes.
Yes, I do.
Well, that's good enough for me.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [PHONES RINGING]
Uh, excuse me, miss.
Whoever you are, you can't
[LAUGHING]
Ah, I see they got to you.
If you can't beat 'em,
- join 'em.
- [CHUCKLES]
Ugh. This wig hair does
go everywhere, though.
Is that?
[WHISPERS]: I think it is.
I expected this from you, but
[SIGHS]
Anyway, how was your lunch
with the widow Crawford?
[SMACKS LIPS] She was nice enough.
Ah, that's a rather lukewarm review.
I'm not sure I trust her.
I always say,
if it doesn't feel right,
it probably isn't.
["SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING"
BY PEACHES & HERB PLAYING]
Shake it, shake it ♪
- Groovin' loose ♪
- [CROWD CHEERING, CLAPPING]
Or heart to heart ♪
We put in motion every single part ♪
Funky sounds, wall to wall ♪
We're bumpin' booties,
having us a ball, y'all ♪
Shake your groove thing,
shake your groove thing ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Well, I've never seen
anything like this at 11:00 a.m.
[LAUGHS] Welcome to
Mimosas and Mirrorballs,
the Disco Drag Brunch.
Here we drag again. [LAUGHS]
It's the best drag brunch in the city.
My mom loves this song.
I got to take a video.
Uh, fine, but, you know,
you can't send it to Teddy.
- What?
- [SONG ENDS, APPLAUSE]
Persimmon! Look who's here.
- Hi.
- This is their first time.
- Oh, welcome, honey.
- ELSBETH: Hey, again.
FELIX: Persimmon does the wigs
for all of the performers.
Ah. They are so amazing.
Thank ya.
The show is fabulous,
but it takes about three mimosas
before the food starts
to taste any good.
[LAUGHS] Oh, we better put
our order in, then.
No, you have to have a little fun first.
Work up an appetite. Come on.
My mom is not gonna believe this.
[LAUGHS]
Though I'm not sure I'm gonna tell her.
- [LAUGHS]
- Oh, my God.
- Is that Diana Ross?
- What? Where?
Oh, no, not the real
[LAUGHS] Never mind.
That wasn't Diana Ross?
My mistake.
Oh, you saw a Diana Ross wig.
[FELIX CHUCKLES]
Wait.
The "Diana Ross" is
one of Domenico's stolen wigs.
You'd better call it in.
Gordon "Persimmon" Tuttle,
you are under arrest for murder.
You can't be serious.
And please don't call me that.
BOBBY: You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
Where were you
on the night of the murder?
Doing hair for the Mistress
of Midtown Drag Pageant.
[GASPS] Oh, a drag pageant?
That sounds fun.
Sequins, sweat and way too much
"Proud Mary." It's heaven.
BOBBY: Any witnesses
that can confirm this?
No one takes more selfies
than drag queens.
I'm sure I've got to be
in at least a dozen of 'em.
- Do you have any on your phone?
- Let's check the socials.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE]
ELSBETH: Whoa.
Did she jump into a split
from the ceiling?
That's her "Defying Gravity" number.
Gravity was not defied.
Okay, look, this is obviously a charade.
Why don't you just admit it? Okay?
You wanted Domenico's clients,
so you staged it to look like a robbery.
- Excuse me.
- [SETS DOWN PHONE]
I know where to part the hair, okay?
I thought we all did.
ELSBETH: Apparently, Felix didn't.
He poached Lina Vyanti
from Domenico before his death.
That doesn't make any sense.
What good would it do
to poach Lina Vyanti?
What do you mean?
Felix was just as desperate
to get his hands on Molten-Gold
as the rest of us.
There's no way he had enough
bundles for a whole wig.
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
- Oh.
How's it going? You need a hand?
Honestly, talking to a murderer
might restore my faith in humanity.
- More teenage girl drama?
- Yeah, they're vicious.
What kind of bullying
are we talking about?
Tagging lockers?
Facebook messages? Nasty rumor?
All that, and some girl
cut off her ponytail.
A blond ponytail?
ELSBETH: And this is your natural color?
- No dyes or highlights?
- No.
I'm just blessed, okay?
Not like some people.
MITCH: I don't see
what any of this has to do
with Brynlynn being bullied.
And you're sure this happened
at the stables in Westchester?
Let me remind you, young lady,
we need your honesty
to find the person who did this.
Fine.
I was in the park waiting to meet
some girls from the rec center.
Brynlynn.
Those girls go to public school.
Are you out of your mind?
Uh, Mr. Newell,
let's just take a breath.
Some brat cut off my daughter's hair?
Well, the good news is
hair does eventually grow back.
Well, not in time for regionals.
[GROANS] And she was
going to match Godiva.
- Godiva?
- My horse.
MITCH: It's a disaster.
You know, we asked a wigmaker
to create a fake ponytail,
oh, but he couldn't do it in time.
Do you remember the wigmaker's name?
Oh, my wife got his name
from some soap actress in our building.
[GROANS] It was something Italian.
[MITCH STAMMERS]
Cappelli.
Felix West cut Brynlynn's ponytail.
That's how he had enough Molten-Gold
to make Lina Vyanti's wig!
BOBBY: Domenico found out about it
when Brynlynn's dad
came into the studio.
Even so, it doesn't prove
that Felix murdered Domenico.
But it's awfully coincidental.
ELSBETH: All we have to do
is take a strand
of Brynlynn's hair and test it,
see if it matches the wig.
A strand of a teenager's hair
doesn't prove homicide.
You need definitive proof that Felix
was there at the time of the murder.
- The rest is gravy.
- [SIGHS]
[NEW YORK ACCENT]:
Some people call it sauce.
[NORMAL VOICE]:
Which I haven't even tasted yet.
It's just been sitting here
since I got it from the crime scene.
- You are a miracle worker!
- You like it?
Oh, Felix, it's perfect!
Aw. Felix is so talented, isn't he?
Oh.
- What are you doing here, Elsbeth?
- Oh.
Sadly, I have to return my wig.
Oh, I I thought you liked it.
Oh, no, I do, I do, but I'm a ginger.
Everything else feels like a lie.
And you can't cover up a lie
with good hair.
I'm guessing, uh,
Ms. Vyanti doesn't know
the ingenuity it took to make
her wig, does she, Felix?
Ooh, he had to cut off
a young girl's ponytail.
- What?
- Yeah, he snuck up
on this 14-year-old girl
in the park, and snip!
FELIX: That is ridiculous.
You cannot prove that.
And you might have
gotten away with it, too,
if the girl's rich father
hadn't gone to Domenico
asking for a replacement.
I'm getting out of here.
Oh. No, Lina! None of this is true!
I am a host of
a top-rated daytime TV show.
I can't be associated with any of this.
- FELIX: But what about your wig?
- [LINA GROANS]
Now look what you did.
You ruined everything.
Hmm.
And by "everything,"
you mean your expansion
into the glamorous world
of film and TV stars, right?
That was your aim, wasn't it?
But Domenico Cappelli found out
about you poaching Lina.
And as Mama said, Domenico
wouldn't take that lying down.
BOBBY: He knew what you had done
to steal that Molten-Gold hair.
And that gave him power over you.
So you killed Domenico
[IMITATES CHOKING]
to remove that threat.
And as we started to close in,
you framed Persimmon.
That's why you wanted me
to go to the drag brunch.
With the lax security
typical of drag brunches,
you knew you could plant
one of Domenico's stolen wigs.
Well, you're saying a whole lot,
but you can't prove any of this.
You're right.
But then we remembered
no one can resist Mama's sauce!
You couldn't either.
That sauce has never crossed my lips.
BOBBY: No, but a wig hair from
your smock got into the gravy.
And it
matches the wig that you gave to me,
proving that you were in Domenico's shop
at the time of the murder.
The funny thing is, this wig
isn't made of human hair.
It's yak hair.
Yeah, and you still charged
an arm and a leg for it.
Yak hair is better for the elements.
Do you know what human hair
looks like in humidity
when you're on a yacht
in the middle of Lake Como?
It's bad!
Besides, with the supply chain issues,
I had to figure out something.
Well, you might as well face it, Felix.
The wig is up.
Well, this one is anyway.
God, how do people wear these things?
Ooh, gosh.
You should really get someone
to look at that.
Arrest him.
Felix West, you are under arrest
for the murder of Domenico Cappelli.
[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]
FELIX: So this is it.
I played it short and slick
in the world of hair
and got tangled in my own weave.
What did you say?
Oh, never mind.
Hmm.
CHANDLER: You have the right
to remain silent.
- Anything you say can
- Hmm.
- and will be used against you
- [BOBBY SIGHS]
Good work, Tascioni.
You, too.
Hey, I noticed you're not wearing
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
It wasn't me.
You don't need it, Bobby.
You look great just the way you are.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
So, did you find the girl who did this?
Well, it wasn't a girl
from the dressage competition.
It was actually a murderer
who used Brynlynn's hair
to make a wig for Lina Vyanti.
Wait. My hair is gonna be on TV?
[STAMMERS] But someone was
bullying my daughter.
T-Tell her, Brynlynn.
Brynlynn?
Okay, I don't know if
it was actual, like, bullying.
What?
I'm so tired of riding.
The Countess's daughter wins
every year anyway.
Daddy, it's just all gotten
so political.
[SIGHS] Mitch feels very sorry
about what he put us through,
and to make up for it,
he made a very sizable donation
to the foundation.
Ha. Nice work. [LAUGHS]
- [PHONE VIBRATING]
- Oh.
[GASPS] Officer Chandler,
you were right.
It's Teddy.
Hey! See?
You had nothing to worry about.
We knew he would come around.
[LAUGHS]
Hey there, ace reporter.
What's the latest news?
So, what exactly did
this friend of yours say?
It's more about what she didn't say.
I got the feeling Alec Bloom
is lying about something.
And then there's this.
- VICTOR: What's this?
- An article about the candidate.
Look at the byline.
That's her son.
We find the lie, and
that's the end of his campaign.