The Brady Bunch (1969) s03e12 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
There must be someone
we can get for a guest star.
We're a great entertainment committee
four meetings and nothing!
We better get somebody quick.
It's two weeks before our senior prom.
Unless we get someone this weekend,
on Monday we'll have
to tell Mrs. Robbins
that we bombed out.
Marcia, guess who's here?!
Jan, we're in the middle
of a very important meeting.
What's more important
than Davy Jones?
He's here!
I don't care who's here. We're
Davy Jones!
He's here in this house?
No, he's here in town see?
Let me see.
"Davy Jones, teenage rock idol,
arrived this morning
for personal appearances."
Oh, wow! You know I
got to get to see him.
Davy Jones!
I got to tell Cindy.
Gee, wouldn't that be something?
What?
To get him to entertain at our prom.
Davy Jones?!
You're kidding!
Well, why just Davy Jones?
How about the Beatles,
the Fifth Dimension
and the Carpenters, too?
MARCIA: Before you start making jokes,
just take a look at this.
Go ahead, read it.
"Miss Marcia Brady, President
of the Davy Jones Fan Club:
"Dear Marcia, I want to thank you
for your interest in my career."
Let me see.
"If I'm ever in your city,
"I'll be happy to show you
my appreciation any way I can.
"With best wishes,
I am your friend always, Davy Jones."
Well, it's probably just one
of those form letters
that his publicity guy sends out.
It is not, it's handwritten!
Besides, he wouldn't say,
"If I'm ever in your town,
I'll be happy to show you
my appreciation"
if he didn't really mean it.
Well, that's right, Doreen.
I still say it's publicity stuff.
Davy Jones is not the kind
of person to lie.
If I asked him to entertain
at our prom, I'm sure he would.
Well, maybe he would.
Oh, come on, don't be silly,
she's just bluffing.
Bluffing! I'll show you who's bluffing!
I'll go right over to his hotel and ask him.
You really think you can get him?
If I say I'll get him, I'll get him.
Are Jan and Cindy still grumbling?
Well, they've gone from
kind of a low grumble
to a kind of a high grouch.
They really wanted to see Davy Jones.
Well, I know, but I just
didn't think that Marcia
would appreciate their tagging along.
I'll bet he would have liked it.
They sure are fans of his.
Yeah, from the reaction around here,
he's the hottest thing
since pepperoni pizza.
Okay, who doesn't want me
to know the ball score?
Which one of you is Jack the Ripper?
I think Marcia cut out something
that was on the other side
of the sports page, Mr. Brady.
Honey, now, I want you to be calm.
Don't get too excited,
but Davy Jones is in town!
No, not the Davy Jones!
Kids!
Never mind, we had our
idols, too, when we were kids.
Yeah, I remember when I found
out Frank Sinatra got married.
I wore black Bobby socks for a month.
Hey, did you hear about Davy Jones?
Isn't it great?
What about him?
He's in town!
He's gonna sing at
Marcia's school prom!
In person!
Oh, big deal!
Yeah, what's so special
about Davy Jones?
Yeah, all he does is bang on a guitar
and yell his head off.
Yeah, anybody could do that.
Anybody! There are over
2,000 Davy Jones fan clubs.
Yeah!
How many Peter Brady
fan clubs are there?
I don't know, I haven't
counted them lately.
Well, it doesn't take long to count to zero.
You're just jealous.
Jealous! Of what?
I'm wild about you, baby ♪
Wild about you, baby!
JAN: Boys!
BOBBY ( shrieking ): Wild, wild, wild!
Hey, Davy, baby, don't break your guitar.
( Shrieking )
Wild, baby
Linda?
Linda, you'll never guess
who Marcia Brady's getting
to entertain at our prom.
Hold on to your skull.
Davy Jones!
Yes, Katie, I said "Davy Jones."
Well, I didn't believe it myself at first,
but Marcia's gone right
down there to meet him.
Boy, our prom is going to be out of sight.
Pass the word, okay?
Hi.
Hi, honey.
Sorry about that, Dad.
That's all right. How did you
make out with Davy Jones?
Were your knees shaking
when you met him?
My knees didn't get anywhere
near Davy Jones.
Wasn't he at the hotel?
He sure was, and so were
a thousand other kids.
It was so jammed I couldn't
even get inside the lobby.
I guess every kid in town
is trying to see him.
Why didn't you try phoning him?
I did.
It cost me 30 cents just
to hear the hotel operator say,
"All of Mr. Jones' lines are still busy."
Well, honey, if you can't see him
and you can't talk to him,
I don't know how you're
going to get in touch with him.
I don't either.
Well, you did the best you could, Marcia.
It's all anybody can do.
I guess so.
Well, there's still time to
get someone else for the prom.
At least there's no harm done.
GIRL: There she is!
Oh, Marcia, this is fantastic.
It'll be the best prom ever.
I never thought you could do it!
( All talking at once )
Well, how was he in person, Marcia?
Is he as neat as he looks?
Oh, I could die when I think of it.
( All talking at once )
Marcia!
GIRL: Hi, Mrs. Robbins!
( All shout greetings )
GIRL 2: Oh, hi, Mrs. Robbins.
We're all so proud of you.
Good morning, Mrs. Robbins.
Oh, I've never seen
the students so excited.
You've done a magnificent job
for the entertainment committee.
Well, I really haven't
done anything, Mrs. Robbins.
Oh, oh, now, don't be modest, dear.
The minute I heard,
I got the art department
right to work
on that banner.
Mrs. Robbins, could I please
talk to you a minute in private?
Why, of course.
( All talking at once )
Mrs. Robbins, I didn't expect all this.
I haven't even talked to Davy Jones yet.
Well, now, that's no problem.
I'm sure as soon as you do
see him, you'll arrange it.
The children tell me you're very
good friends with Davy Jones.
( School bell rings )
Oh, first class bell, dear.
Mustn't be late.
( Sighs )
Hi, doing homework?
No, I'm writing a telegram to Davy Jones.
A telegram?
Yeah, I'm getting desperate
after what happened at school today.
This may be the only way
I can reach him.
That's a good idea.
How does this sound?
"Dear Mr. Jones:
"I hope you remember me, Marcia Brady,
the president of your local fan club."
I'll tell you how it sounds.
How? It sounds dull.
That's what I was afraid of.
Hi, Marcia.
Oh, maybe you can help me, Greg.
What's going on?
Well, I'm writing
a telegram to Davy Jones
and it sounds dull.
Let's hear it. Yeah, let's hear it.
Okay, "Dear Mr. Jones:"
"I hope you remember me, Marcia Brady,
president of your local fan club"
No wonder it sounds dull.
You got to catch his attention first.
That sounds logical.
Sure, start by buttering him up.
Take it down like this.
To Davy Jones,
star of stage, screen, radio,
television and jukeboxes.
You are the grooviest, the greatest,
the most right-on
Greg, I think that's a little too much.
No, you've got to lay it on thick.
I'd love to get a telegram like that.
You would.
There's got to be a better way
to catch Davy Jones' attention.
Hey, I've got it.
What?
Take this down!
Davy Jones. Dear Sir, you have just won
a $10 million sweepstakes.
For information, call Marcia Brady at
What's that got to do
with singing at the prom?
Nothing, but it'd sure get his attention.
Thanks for all your help, you guys,
but just let me work
it out by myself, okay?
Okay.
A $10 million sweepstakes!
PETER: $20 million?
Yes, I'd like to send a telegram, please,
to Davy Jones at the Royal Towers Hotel.
( Whispers ): Good luck.
And this is very important:
I want this telegram
to be delivered to him personally.
But you have to!
Please?
No forget it.
They won't deliver it to him personally.
They won't even guarantee
that he'll see it.
Why not?
Because he already has
600 telegrams waiting for him.
They're keeping them
all at the hotel desk.
( Sighs )
MIKE: Honey, I know you're
in no mood for a lecture,
but you really should
never promise anything
until you're sure you can deliver.
I know that now.
Well, look, there must be
some way to get in touch
with that untouchable young man.
If there is, I can't think of it.
CINDY: Marcia, Davy Jones is on TV!
JAN: On the Hank Colman Show.
It just came on!
Dad! The Hank Colman show
goes on for 30 minutes.
Yeah, so?
Well, if I could get down
to the TV station right away,
maybe I could ask Davy
Jones about the prom.
Hey!
You just got yourself a ride. Come on.
Oh, good!
We'll be back in a bit.
CAROL: Okay, bye, honey.
Excuse me, is the Hank Colman
Show still on?
Yes, sir, it still has a few minutes to go.
Oh, great.
Do you mind if my daughter and I wait
until the show's over?
She would like to meet
Mr. Colman's guest star.
I'm president of his fan club.
The head of the Department
of Sanitation has a fan club?
The Department of Sanitation?
That's who Hank Colman's
guest is today.
No, it's Davy Jones.
I just saw the start of the show at home.
Oh, that was done yesterday.
Mr. Colman tapes his shows
one day in advance.
Oh, no.
I'm I'm afraid you're 24
hours late for Davy Jones, Miss.
Well, honey,
we'll just have to try to
think of something else.
When's the prom?
In a week, Dad.
Yeah, Brad.
Well, look, I just thought
since your brother plays
golf with the hotel manager,
it might be worth a chance asking.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well okay, Brad.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
What did he say, Dad?
He says If I can find a way
to get to Davy Jones,
let him know,
because he's got a teenage daughter
who's dying to meet him, too.
Isn't there someone else we can call?
Honey, your father and I
have done everything we can think of.
Except
What?
It's just too crazy.
What, Mom?
Yeah, come on, what?
Well, it really is crazy.
But why couldn't we check into
the Royal Towers this weekend?
At least Marcia would be
in the same hotel as Davy Jones.
Yeah, that is crazy.
I told you.
I know, because I called
and they're already booked.
What am I gonna do?
Marcia, I think you're
at the end of the line.
I think you're gonna have
to tell your teacher
that you just couldn't get him.
Dad, do you realize what you're asking?
You have a responsibility to other people.
Honey, you have to give
the school a chance
to find someone else
to entertain at the prom.
Well, I've still got this weekend.
Maybe something will happen.
Well, I hope so,
but if not, you'll have to tell
your teacher on Monday.
( Sighs )
Okay.
JAN: I'm sorry, Marcia.
Me, too, honey.
When the whole school
hears I bombed out,
they'll all hate me.
Not everybody, Marcia.
Your real friends will stick by you.
After Monday, I won't have any friends.
I might as well quit school or move away
or something!
There's got to be
some angle we've missed.
Well, if there is, we better find it quick.
Why don't you and the other kids
put your heads together and think.
I'll put my heads together, too.
At least it's worth a try, Peter.
Anything is.
Yeah, Marcia's desperate.
Okay, you guys stand back
and make a little noise
like there's a crowd in the room.
Here goes.
( All speaking gibberish )
OPERATOR: Royal Towers Hotel.
I can't hear.
Davy Jones' room, please.
Mr. Jones' lines are busy,
and there are many calls waiting.
Tell him it's an old buddy of his.
He'll take the call right now.
Who's calling, please?
Pete Brady. I manage one
of his favorite rock groups.
Davy baby said to call the minute
we made the scene in town.
What's the name of the group?
The Three Desperadoes.
( laughing )
Shh!
I'm sorry, I've never heard
of the Three Desperadoes.
Oh, we're a big group.
We're over here rehearsing right now.
Sing something.
Like what?
Anything, anything
you know the words to.
Listen to this, operator.
( All singing at once ): Hooray,
Hooray My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty Is on his way
Operator?
Hello?
Operator?
Did she hear us?
She heard ya.
Thanks, Sam.
Yeah, I'll tell Marcia.
It might just work.
Okay, bye.
Hi, Alice.
Greg, Sam just had the wildest idea.
Congratulations!
He finally proposed?
No, it's not that wild.
He delivers meat to the Royal Towers
and the chef is a personal friend of his.
So?
So that might just get Marcia in
to see Davy Jones,
even though his idea is a little far out.
Listen, nothing's too far out
for Marcia right now.
Yeah listen, his idea is that
( whispering )
( Knock at door )
MAN: Who is it?
GREG: Busboy.
Come in.
You sure I look all right?
Watch your voice, will you?
You're supposed to be a boy.
( Deep voice ): Oh, yes.
That's better.
We've come to get the breakfast dishes.
MAN: Okay.
We're certainly happy
to be of service to you.
You're our favorite singing star.
Of all time.
I've got every record you ever made.
Yeah, and she he
plays them all the time.
I'm even president of your fan club.
I'm sorry, kids.
( Normal voice ): You're not
( deeply ): You're not Davy Jones.
I'm his manager.
David left a few minutes ago.
Could you tell us when he'll be back, sir?
Oh, who knows?
He's over at Atlas Records
cutting an album.
I've got to get down there myself.
Atlas Records.
Hey, what about the dishes?
Yeah.
Listen, I'll get them.
You change and get over there fast.
Okay.
Oh, thanks, Greg.
Okay, Davy.
What's say we make one, huh?
( Ballad intro playing )
Girl
Look what you've done to me
Me
And my whole world
Girl
You brought the sun to me
With your smile
You did it, girl
I'm telling you, girl
Something unknown to me
Makes
You what you are
And what you are
Is all I could ask for me
And it's good
To feel that way, girl
Thank you, girl
For making the morning brighter ♪
Girl
For making the nighttime nicer ♪
Girl
For making a better world for me ♪
I'm telling you, girl
Something unknown to me
Makes
You what you are
And what you are
Is all that I want for me
And it's good
To feel that way, girl
Thank you, girl
For making the morning brighter ♪
Girl
For making the nighttime nicer ♪
Girl
For making a better world for me ♪
Thank you, girl
For making the winter warmer ♪
Girl
For making the music softer
Girl
For making a better world for me ♪
Thank you, girl
For making the morning brighter ♪
( Audio fades out )
Sounded great, Davy.
Great.
Relax for a second, and we'll play it back.
( Intro begins )
Girl
MANAGER: You getting it in there?
Look what you've done to me ♪
Okay, signal if you
( thump )
Who are you?
Oh, I just wanted to speak
to Mr. Jones for a minute.
MANAGER: Miss, we're
making a recording here.
Oh, well, I'll wait until he's finished.
I won't even make a sound.
Sorry, but no one is allowed
in the studio while we're recording.
MARCIA ( over intercom ):
Please, I've just got to see him.
I'm president of his Filmore
Junior High Fan Club.
MANAGER: That's great, but
nobody attends recording sessions.
But I promised my whole school
he'd sing at our prom.
He's just got to,
or I'll never be able
to speak to my friends again.
Kid, do you know how many schools
want David to sing at their proms?
There's just not enough days in the year.
But I wouldn't have promised the school
if he hadn't written me a letter
to me, personally,
Marcia Brady.
He said he'd be glad to help me
if he's ever in town.
Tell you what, kid.
You leave me your name and address
and I'll send you a copy
of his latest album, okay?
Thank you, girl
Kids.
For making the morning brighter ♪
Girl
For making the nighttime nicer ♪
Mom, Dad.
Yes, honey?
I think I'll call Mrs. Robbins now.
I thought you were
going to wait until Monday.
If I call now, she'll have more time
to try to find someone else.
( Doorbell rings )
I'll get it.
Well, honey, you tried
as hard as you could.
Didn't help much.
MARCIA: Mrs. Robbins?
This is Marcia Brady.
Well, there's something important
I have to tell you.
CAROL: Marcia
Um Mrs. Robbins,
I have to call you back later.
Bye.
MARCIA: Hi!
Hi that's the album
my manager promised you.
Oh, thanks.
But how did you
Well, I heard what you said
over the studio microphone.
Oh
Oh, uh this is my mom
and this my dad.
I mean, well, you know which
is which. No, I'm her father,
that's her mother.
Well, would you two excuse us?
Yeah, we were just
going in the other room.
( Giggling )
Is it all right if I sit down?
Oh, yes, sit down anywhere.
Anywhere, huh?
( Giggling ): Yeah, anywhere.
You know, I'm sorry about
the mess that you're in
because of that letter I wrote to you.
Oh, no, it's my fault.
I never should have promised
I'd get you to sing at the prom.
Well, it's my fault, too.
I promised you something in that letter.
When is your prom?
Friday night.
Okay, Friday night it is.
( All cheer )
I didn't know we had an audience.
Those are my brothers and sisters.
You'll really come to the prom?
Well, there is one little problem.
What?
Well, I don't have a date.
Do you know a girl
that'd like to go with me?
Do I?!
Well, how about the flip side?
( Kisses )
( Giggling and kissing )
ALL ( screaming off key ): Girl
Look what you've done to me ♪
Me and my whole world
Girl
You brought the sun to me
With your smile
You did it, girl
I'm telling you
Girl
Something unknown to me
Makes you what you are
Hey, kids
Hey!
Hold it!
We're practicing, Dad.
What, cracking the sound barrier?
Rock groups are hot.
Peter says we'll get rich.
Like loaded.
Here is a start.
Okay, what do you want us to sing?
Anything, as long as you
sing it in the next block,
because I'm trying to get
some work done, okay?
Well, a buck's a buck.
Come on, you guys.
( All shouting at once )