Hannah Montana s03e13 Episode Script

Hi, I'm Hannah Montana and I am on the set of my new Movie "Indiana Joannie and the Curse of the Golden Cobra" coming to a theatre near you this summer.
Be there or be cursed.
OW! Dang flabbit! Sorry Daddy! Cut! coming to a theatre near you this summer.
Be there or be cursed ah Cut! Be there or be cursed.
Oh yeah! "Indiana Joannie and the Curse of the Golden Cobra" Hey, I'm back at the house.
Where are you? Call me! Dad, can you believe this? I've been gone a month and Lilly and Oliver know I'm coming back today and nobody is picking up.
How can they be so inconsiderate? Jee.
I have no idea.
It's sure not the way I brought you up.
I know.
Surprise! Lilly, Oliver.
I thought you forgot about me.
Don't anybody worry about helping me get to this door.
Ha, I got it.
Oh no.
Please.
Mr.
Stewart can we help you with that luggage? Oh no.
Kids, I got it! Are you sure, sir? It looks awfully heavy? Oh no y'all just enjoy your visit.
So, how was the Movie? How was Chase Crawford? Amazing! and AMAA-ZING! So eh, what have you guys been up to? Pff.
.
Wow, where do we begin? Yeah, eh -I mean the beach -Yeah, the mall -More beach -More mall And that one day, it almost rained! Oh, but it didn't and I took pictures.
Here look.
Crazy.
Oh my beach! I missed it.
I even kind of missed Rico's greasy overpriced nachos.
Yeah, well go get changed then we head down and get sick to our stomachs together.
Yep nothing says welcome home like a case of explosive nachos-rrhea.
You two are disgusting.
I missed that.
How long you think she is gonna be? Mmmh I don't know Ten fifteen minutes? You're thinking what I'm thinking? You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E13 What I Don't Like About You You know I still think we should tell Miley.
And I still think she's going to get all wigged out Lillypop.
You're being silly Olliepop she's gonna be happy that we're dating.
Are you kidding? She's gonna think you've totally lost it.
For the past three years I've been a cross between your guy friend and a pinata Yeah, good point.
So ah what do we do? Well I guess we have to ease her into it you know.
Ah you know sometimes I could say things like "oh, doesn't Lilly look cute today?" and you know another time you could be like "wow, I've never really noticed it but Oliver looks like a Greek god.
" (Oh, disgusting.
) OK, hang on I get cute and you get Greek god? I need a little bit more help than you.
Oh I love it when you get all humble.
And you know, it's kinda nice that it's our little secret now.
And it's not like she had a problem keeping her Hannah secret from us.
Yeah, exactly.
OK.
So now it's our turn.
-Yeah! -Oh yeah! I love it when you 'oh yeah'! -Oh yeah! -Oh! Eh Yes Eh that sounds delightfully doable and splendily splendacious Thank you! YES! Son, if that's a girl and she still wants to date you after that then I'm guessing she's not too stupendidly smartacious.
For your information, that happened to be the state college of Santa Barbara setting up an interview with moi.
Moi, moi, moi, moi, moi.
I'd be a lot happier for you if you haven't just crashed moi sandwich.
Sorry, dad.
Huh? All better, see that's the sort of quick thinking that's gonna get me into the state college of Santa Barbara or as I like to call it Santa Babe-brah.
Use that terminology during the interview and the only place you're gonna be going is "Santa Living home till you're fourty-ah!" Don't worry Dad.
I mean sure I'm not good at the whole academics thing but face to face, I am unbeatable.
Lets pretend you are the interviewer.
Ask me why my grades have been eh what's, what's the word? Rotten? Miserable? Embarrassing? I said word.
Nobody likes to show off.
Look, to continue this will be my answer: "Eh, surely my grades could have been better.
But that would have meant spending more time studying and less time running 'Jackson's kids', my charity for little ones who can't help themselves" So in other words, you're gonna lie.
Like you on that couch during a Beverly Hillbillies marathon.
I'm gonna say this one time.
That darn show was an American classic.
That's it? No big lecture about "how lying is bad" or "I'm only cheating myself?" Oh son, when you go away to college I'm not gonna be there to tell you what's right and wrong.
You're gonna have to make those decisions for yourself.
And you know what? I trust you to make the right ones, the ones that make your daddy proud.
I love you, boy.
I love you, boy.
Blak! Come on, you're not gonna fall for that guilt garbage, are you? But he's your daddy.
You don't want to break his heart, do you? Oh, come on, you're gonna listen to the guy that can't even remember to pull up his zipper? Made you look, he he! See? He's an idiot.
You know what you gotta do! Just do it.
Do it! Hey! They put onions on my burger! You know, it's how I would've been in the good old days but nope eh, no more wigged out for me.
Really mature since the movie Oh my gosh it's Brad Pitt! Oh, where, where? No, no just a Golden Retreiver on the hind legs sorry.
Anyhoo, since my wigout days are over anything you wanna tell me girl to girl, best friend to best friend? Ah Hey look Oliver is here with the drinks, boy have we missed you.
Oh right.
You know what? I forgot straws.
No no no, we don't need straws.
Arrr.
Oliver you are so considerate, isn't he considerate? And he is cute, too.
What? Yeah, you know being gone really opened my eyes.
You are one cutie patootie.
And you're no slouch either.
You know what? You you guys should date and then not tell me about it.
I think she knows.
How did you find out? Maybe the next time you guys wanna keep a secret from me, y'all shouldn't have a spit-swap in the middle of my living room, Lilly-Pop.
You see I told you she'd freak! I'm only freaking because you guys didn't tell me.
I'm happy for you.
Oh I knew you would be.
See I told you.
-She told me.
She did.
-I did.
I tell him.
So um how did it happen? OK well we were at a beach party.
Yeah.
And uh Nose Whistle Wallie was going to ask her to slow-dance.
Yeah.
So I grabbed Oliver before he could and you know it was just the way my head fit into his neck You know ah her head smelt like apples.
I like apples.
Oh, so that means whatever song you guys danced to that's your song.
What was it? -It was Radiohead.
-It was Coldplay.
Ah Oliver.
It was Radiohead.
Eh.
.
Lilly it was definitely Coldplay.
I think I would remember.
I mean Radiohead is my favorite band.
You know guys, it really doesn't matter.
The main thing is that you guys are together.
Yeah, hold on two seconds.
Ah so, seriously you think Radiohead is better than Coldplay? Radioplay, Coldhead.
The main thing is you guys are together.
Right? So, where was your first date? -I took her to the movies.
-We went ice-skating! Did I say first date? I meant second.
I cannot believe you don't remember our first date! I can't believe you think Radiohead is better than Coldplay! OK.
Whatever you like, 12, let it go! Well excuse me for having an opinion.
Yes, dear.
Whatever you say, dear.
Look.
I'm sorry I bought it up.
Who cares! You know what if you like Coldplay so much.
They should be your girlfriend and you can take them skating.
And then not remember it! Take them skating and not remember it? You know what? Who's twelve now! I'm still yet.
Miley, would you please tell that one to grow up! That one? Wait, you forget my name now too! Come on, Miley.
Let's go No, I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah, she's not going anywhere cause you're obviously wrong! I'll tell you what's wrong.
When I picked you as a boyfriend.
-Oh.
-You guys please stop fighting this is ridiculous! You know the sooner we just laugh about it and move on the better.
I'll start.
(laughs) You remember that time that you Nothing! Alright, look.
How about this.
How about we um recapture you know the moment of your first dance.
You know snuggle, put your apples No, forget it, OK? I'm outta here.
Yeah, not before I am.
All right! You guys are gonna get halfway home and realize how ridiculous this is! And when you do, I will be right here waiting for you.
Right here! Honey, it's almost midnight.
I don't think they'll be They'll be back! This is ridiculous! They haven't talked in three days and they keep asking me to pick a side! -Well, I'm just -Freeze! Go ahead.
I'm not gonna do it! Darling, I'm happy to feel your pain I'm just glad my BLT didn't have to! BLT! See that's exactly what I'm talking about! The three of us were a classic combination but then, the lettuce decided oh, I'm gonna go off I'm gonna go off and do a movie.
buh-bye lettuce! And the bacon and the tomato decided they should be together Oh, I love you bacon pop! Yeah, I love you tomato pop! And then, the lettuce decided to finally come back home and they start arguing! Oh, bacon! Oh, tomato! Oh, no no no! And then I, the lettuce, I'm the lettuce I get in the middle! You know what I'm saying.
I say don't fight! Don't fight! Don't fight! And now what have we got? Same thing I had last time.
A real ugly looking sandwich.
Exactly.
Now, honey, listen.
I'll admit they're being a little bit stubborn.
But sometimes you've just got to be patient let people work out their problems.
Dad, when have I ever done that? Mr.
Stewart? Katherine York.
Oh, from the State College of Santa Babe-ra? Barbara! I don't know why I said that.
It's not like I've ever heard my son ever say anything like that because he's very very serious about Santa Babe-ra.
Barbara! It's OK, Mr.
Stewart.
A lot of parents are nervous at the beginning of the interview.
But let me assure you by the end it's much worse.
I'm kidding! No, it'll be fine.
Well, listen, I feel a lot better now and thank you so much for coming out here it's Aren't you forgetting something? About eighteen male probably calls you 'dad'.
-Oh! The boy! -Yeah! Yeah, the boy.
Let me just go and get him.
OK.
Jackson! Come on in.
Now! -Hi.
-Hi.
I'm Jackson.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
First I just want to say thank you so much for driving all the way down from Santa Barbara.
Babe-ra! Oh, sweet niblets! Hey, Jackson! We've been collecting trash off the beach.
Just like you taught us.
And now we're gonna separate papers and plastics.
That's great, guys.
Hey, after my interview, we'll go over earthquake preparedness and CPR! Yeah! Now run along guys.
Come on.
See.
That's what it is all about.
Helping shape tomorrow's future today.
Now I may not have an A in Science.
But I have an A where it counts.
In here.
It's very altruistic of you.
Aha.
Mrs.
York.
Why don't you make yourself comfortable and Jackson if I could just speak with you over here for a moment.
Just me and you.
Of course, father.
Respect for the wisdom and council of those who love us.
A lesson I'd try to teach my kids.
Look, Dad, I know you want me to tell the truth but you also want me to get into college.
It's time to make a choice! Well it's pretty obvious you've already made yours! Now I'm just gonna say this one time.
Your mother would not be very proud of you today.
Oh! The mom card! Oh, that's low.
Well if you're going to play hard ball so am I.
Good luck with the interview, son.
So eh, where were we? Well, Jackson why don't you tell me a little bit more about the work you do with the Youth of Tomorrow.
Yes, my work! Argh where do I begin? I think the first thing you should know is argh the first thing you should know is the truth.
I am a lazy lying underachiever.
I hired those kids.
I don't know CPR! And if there was an earthquake right now I'd probably use your body to shield myself from falling debree.
He would too! I mean he'd probably feel bad about it later but he's telling you the truth.
And I have never been so proud of you, son.
You know, Jackson, you are the most honest young man I have ever interviewed.
And that is a very impressive quality.
So I've still got a shot? Honestly one in ten thousand.
Yes! One in ten thousand, baby.
Whoa! He's not that good at math either.
OK, fine! You don't get any of my nachos! Can you believe him trying to bribe you with nachos? By the way, I saved you my curly fries because I know they're your favorites just like I am.
I'm her favorite! Whoa! Lilly, no need to rub it in.
We're above that.
-No, we're not! -Lilly! Fine.
But only because you chose me.
And I'm also choosing you to come and see the very first rough cut of Indianna Joannie.
No way! That's going to be great! I know.
But argh I should probably go tell Oliver why I chose you.
He at least deserves that right? Y'OK.
But while you're over there, can you give him a message for me? I'm not going to tell him he is eventually going to die, sad and alone, calling out your name.
Well then never mind.
Hey, Max.
I'll give you ten bucks to go tell Lilly that she just got voted girl with the ugliest ears in all Seaview High history.
Give me twenty and I'll tell her she has a squeaky voice too! Oh, what the heck! Hey.
You're not getting any of my nachos traitor.
I am not a traitor! I chose you.
Then why were you talking to Lilly? Because I mean I had to tell her why I chose you.
She at least deserves that.
Really? Yeah.
I mean.
Look at her.
No! No! Whoa.
You really did pick me I mean over your best girl friend! I mean you guys share you know feelings, facials and shoes! Man! I must be awesome! Oh! I smell popcorn! Miley? Oh I smell YOU! What are you doing here! She chose me! Miley! Alright, that's it.
I'm outta here Nobody's going anywhere! I have a whip.
And I have no idea how to use it! Now sit down.
Miley what are you Please! No talking during our feature presentation! Indianna Joannie and the Curse of the Stupid Annoying Friends! -What is this this is not -Why are we watching this Take some popcorn at it! Well we were at this beach party And Nose Whistle Wallie was about to ask her to dance.
And so I grabbed Oliver before he could and well it was just the way my head fit into his neck.
Yeah.
And her hair smelled like apples.
I like apples! And then we danced To argh a song by Coldplay.
Oliver, honey.
It was Radiohead! I mean I think I would remember my favorite band.
You honestly think Radiohead is better than Coldplay? Well, if you like Coldplay so much maybe they should be your girlfriend! Oh, maybe they should be my girlfriend Now this is what should've happened.
So wait, you honestly think Radiohead is better than Coldplay? Ha.
Isn't it cool that we can still like each other even though we like different music? So true! I mean we have been friends since like kindergarten Do you really wanna throw that all away over some silly little fight? Well, do you? Look.
I don't know if you're meant to be a couple.
But I do know you're meant to be friends.
And please I do not want to watch you throw that away over this fight.
She's right.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I missed you Ollie-pop! I missed you too Lilly-Pop! OK! I'm cool with the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing.
Not loving the whole kissy pop.
OK? Hey, Miley, thank you.
You're welcome.
You're the best friend ever.
Yes, I am.
-This is a little weird for you, huh? -Yes, it is.
-We should go, huh? -Yes, you should.
We're out! Coldplay.
Radiohead.
Hello! Hannah Montana in the room!