Happy Days (1974) s03e13 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
And mine, Happy Days! ♪
La ♪
La, la, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la, la, la ♪
Happy Days is filmed before a live audience.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
Joanie? Yeah?
Why aren't you on your da
Put them on the paper.
Mom, I already took 'em off.
Why aren't you on your date?
Oh, because Tommy Fletcher acts like a dope, that's why.
Was he fresh again?
Worse. He's such a goofball.
Making faces, putting straws in his ears.
What a baby!
He's not a baby.
It's just that girls mature faster than boys, that's all.
Is that why Dad's so cranky all the time?
Your father is a very good man,
and we're very lucky to have him.
He is out there by himself shoveling
I forgot.
Would you run down to Arnold's and get Richard? Oh, Mom!
He is supposed to be shoveling the driveway.
And don't worry so much about boys.
Mom, tell me,
did you know you loved Dad the first time you saw him?
Oh, yes, he cut quite a dashing figure
in his zoot suit.
Well, how do you know when you love someone?
Well, you just do,
and with your father, it was really special.
I was happy and my palms got all sweaty.
Well, you have time for all of that.
I'll never have time.
I'm always running errands like a little kid.
Why can't you treat me like a grown-up?
You're absolutely right, dear.
Get somebody to help you cross the street.
Oh Shake, baby, shake ♪
Shake it, baby, shake ♪
Whoo ♪
Shake it, baby, shake it ♪
Hee ♪
Shake, baby, shake ♪
Come on, baby ♪
Whole lot of shakin' goin' on ♪
Yeah. ♪
Yeah?
She hung up.
Hey, I'm sorry, Potsie, you got to keep practicing.
Hey, Fonz, I can't sing to a phone.
I got to make eye contact with a live girl.
Hey, why don't you pretend you're a chick
and I'll sing to you?
Hey, why don't I pretend I didn't hear that, huh?
All right, men, I got to make "eye contact"
with a chick myself, if you get my drift.
Sure do, Fonz.
Don't strain your eyes.
Aaayyh, huh?
Whoa, a whole lot of shakin'
goin' on, huh?
You'll enjoy that in later life.
Hey listen, nerd.
Why don't you, uh, sing here to this pretty little miss?
Hey, Fonz, are you kidding?
She's just a little She's what?
She's perfect.
That's what I thought.
You're very cute.
You are very cute.
Thanks for your help, Fonz.
Hey, I support the arts.
Hey!
Hey, Joanie.
Joanie, you sit down right here
and I'll sing to you, okay?
I'm going to look into your eyes.
Hey, Richie, Dad wants you home to shovel the snow.
We got time for one more number.
You ready, Ralph?
I'm always ready.
I'm a professional.
Okay, guys, and
Put your head on my shoulder ♪
Hold me in your arms ♪
Baby ♪
Squeeze me, oh, so tight ♪
Show me ♪
Show me that you love me, too ♪
Show me that you love me, too ♪
People say ♪
That love's a game ♪
A game you just can't win ♪
La, la, la, la ♪
If there's a way ♪
I'll find it someday ♪
And then ♪
This fool will rush in ♪
Put your head ♪
On my shoulder ♪
Doo-we-ooh ♪
Whisper in my ear, baby ♪
Doo-we-ooh ♪
Words I want to hear ♪
Tell me ♪
Doo-we-ooh ♪
Put your head on ♪
My shoulder. ♪
Ooh ♪
Well, guys, how does that work?
Well, she didn't hang up on you.
Not bad.
I got to fix this one part.
Well, maybe I can fix it at home.
I got to get going.
So we'll rehearse next week, okay, guys?
Oh, wait, I can't make it next week.
Wait a minute. Why not?
We all agreed to practice every week
so we can get better.
We need it. We'll get jobs.
I'm not talking about some frat dance
where we got paid in beer.
Where do you have to go next week?
Look, my cousin's getting married,
and I promised to sing at her wedding, okay?
Do you have to?
I told you he'd do this.
He's still Potsie.
Listen, that's going to be my gift.
If I don't sing, I'm going to have to give her cash.
Where am I supposed to come up with five dollars?
What a nerd.
He's not a nerd, and you shut up, Ralph Malph!
I don't have time to stand around here
and argue about a cousin's wedding.
I got to shovel snow.
Yeah, well, I got to go, too.
Let Potsie put the equipment away,
and don't forget the piano.
By myself?
Why don't you get your cousin to help?
What a nerd!
Look, here's the keys.
Now now, don't forget to lock up
because Arnold trusts us, okay?
Come on, Joanie.
I'll stay here and help Potsie.
Well, okay, but make sure you come home right after.
See you, Pots.
I'm going to try and cool Ralph off.
Maybe I'll stick his face in the snow.
You're not a nerd, Potsie.
Oh, thanks, Joanie.
And you're a terrific singer.
You really think so?
Oh, sure. What does Ralph know?
Girls mature faster than boys.
What?
Oh, nothing.
Do you ice skate?
Yeah, sometimes.
I go to the place on Green Street.
Maybe I'll see you there sometime.
Yeah, sure.
When?
I don't know. Sometime.
Listen, Potsie,
Richie and I were talking it over
and, uh I was out of line before.
I'm sorry I called you a nerd.
Did I do that nice?
I'll help you with the equipment.
Thanks, Ralph. Sure.
Come on, Joanie.
Ralph's gonna help Potsie.
Your hands are all sweaty.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't it neat?
What are you doing still up?
Oh, I'm watching a real neat movie.
Katharine Hepburn is in love with Cary Grant.
Well, I'm going to sleep.
I'm beat.
I scored 18 points tonight.
How did Potsie do?
Well, uh
he shot a free throw over the backboard.
Wow.
Listen, uh, you better go to bed
before Mom and Dad get home.
Oh, they said I could watch the end of this.
It's almost over; They're up to the wedding scene.
You can hardly keep your eyes open.
Yes, I can.
You're strange, Joanie.
Not as strange as Potsie, though.
Boy, right over the backboard.
What a nerd.
Wow.
He's not a nerd.
He's not a nerd nerd nerd nerd nerd.
Richie, isn't there anything we can do to stop this?
We can't let your sister marry Potsie!
Are you kidding?
I'm proud to have him as a brother-in-law.
Do you know that he shot a basketball
clear over the backboard?
Wow.
I'll get it! I'll get it!
It's my get.
Thanks for the lift, girls.
Here's the groom!
Hi, guys.
Hiya, Pops.
Hey, uh, Potsie, could I talk to you
in private for a minute, huh?
Yeah sure, Fonz, come on.
Um I did something, 'cause,
oh, 'cause you're my hero.
I did did something, I-I hope it pleases you, Pots.
Yeah, what did you do? Well,
you know how sometimes they tie cans
on the back of the wedding car?
I tied the Polaski twins,
What do you think?
Very bad, Fonz. Very bad.
Oh, well, see, now, I thought that you
would be proud of me.
Now, I know this is the first move
I ever made without asking your advice
And in typical nerd fashion, the wrong move.
What am I gonna do with you Fonzarelli, huh?
Wasn't I the one that taught you to go "Hey"?
Hey When you were gonna go like this,
what did I tell you to do?
Whoa!
You're lucky I like you, kid.
It's our little secret.
Now, listen, why don't you get everybody
together the cool way I taught you, all right?
Okay. Okay.
Okay, attention, everybody!
Let's go! Let's get this show on the road!
Here comes the bride all dressed in white ♪
Here comes the bride ♪
Okay.
Do you, Joanie "Shortcake" Cunning
Stop. Joanie, I must speak up.
You're too young to get married.
I forbid it!
Oh, please, Daddy.
But, Joanie he's a nerd.
He's not a nerd!
Now, go to your room, both of you!
I don't want to!
If he gets to stay, I can stay!
Both of you, up!
We never have any fun.
Oh, why did you have to start trouble?
You did the same thing on our wedding!
She treats us like children!
I'm a grown-up man, Marion.
I'm sorry, Arthur, please continue.
Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
From the top.
Do you Joanie "Shortcake" Cunningham,
take Warren "Potsie" Weber to be your husband,
in sickness or in health, for better or for worse,
until out-of-town college keep you apart?
I do.
Do you, Warren "Potsie" Weber,
take Joanie, likewise,
and do the same to her as she does to you?
Who wouldn't?
Hey, that's all right.
Well, now, by the power invested in me
in the state of Wisconsin
and the Department of Motor Vehicles,
I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss your bride.
Whoa!
Doo-wop ♪
Do-wop, do-wop ♪
Do-wop, do-wop, do-wop, do ♪
Do-wap ♪
Joanie Joanie Joanie!
Joanie, it's late.
What are you doing up?
Come on, little one, up to bed.
I thought I sent you to your room!
What?!
Oh, nothing.
Hey, Mom, can we have another talk about boys?
I think you should get a man's point of view this time.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I'll talk to Fonzie tomorrow.
♪♪
Good night.
Ba-ba-ba-baby bah-bah-bah-bah ♪
Listen, how old are you?
I'm 14 and three-quarters.
14 and three-quarters.
So, you want to know, what, uh
what the Fonz likes in women, huh?
Let's see.
I like a very pretty girl.
I like a girl who is built.
Uh, who-who has built up a respectable reputation.
Oh. Yeah.
Um, but I'll tell you what really gets to the Fonz.
Mystery.
Mystery. Mystery.
That gets your blood up, huh?
Yeah where did you hear an expression like that?
Fonz, you were talking about mystery.
Yeah, yeah, mystery.
That Well, that's how I met Vivian, you see.
She left me a note on the seat of my bike.
It said, uh, "Hotwire my heart."
Ooh. Signed, "Your Secret Admirer."
I loved it. I loved it.
A love note from a secret admirer. Yeah.
Oh, that's neat.
Love notes are great. She, uh
Well, how did you find out it was Vivian?
Well, the next note, see?
She sent me the next note,
and, uh, that one was on a hamburger roll.
A hamburger roll?
Yeah, it said, "Man cannot live by bread alone."
A doozy. A doozy!
Oh, she signed that one, huh, Fonz?
No, no, no, no, she never signed her notes.
Wait. Fonz, I don't understand.
How did you know it was Vivian who wrote them?
Okay, well, it was the last note.
How she ever got it there, I'll never know.
Where, where?
Never mind.
But she said, uh,
"Your Secret Admirer wants to meet you in a mystery place."
Oh, how neat.
Yeah. See, all guys like to get notes,
'cause, see, they get curious.
Yeah? Then they get crazy.
And then you got them.
Okay, a couple of notes,
and then the big note and the secret meeting.
Right. Thanks, Fonz. You're a doll.
Shortcake, you should have no trouble.
Now, get out of here!
Okay. Bye, Fonz.
Oh, young love.
It makes me feel warm all over!
I'm walking, yes, indeed ♪
I'm talking 'bout you and me ♪
I'm hoping that you'll come back to me ♪
I'm lonely as I can be ♪
I'm waiting for your company ♪
I'm hoping that you'll come back to me ♪
What you gonna do when the well runs dry? ♪
You gonna run away and hide ♪
I'm gonna run right by your side ♪
For you, pretty baby, I'd even die ♪
I'm walking, yes, indeed, I'm talking ♪
What is it, another love note?
Yeah, seventh note in three days.
"Dear Dren"
Dren?
Yeah, that's her nickname for me.
"I realize how much I love you,
"and the time has come for you to meet your mystery lady.
"Meet me at Arnold's tonight after closing.
"I know you have the key, along with the key to my heart.
"When you get there, face the jukebox,
"put a dime in, and select H14,
"turn, and I'll be there.
"Until tonight.
Signed, "Unsigned."
Unsigned.
All right, Pots!
Looks like tonight's the big night!
Yeah. Hey, uh, this isn't a joke
you're playing on me, is it, guys?
No. Why would we do that?
I don't know, but, uh, who else knows
I have the key to Arnold's except you two guys?
Well, I don't know,
but I promise you it isn't either one of us.
Besides, you'll find out tonight, right?
Right. Yeah.
Boy, this is exciting.
Really exciting!
I'd better go home and take a shower.
I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.
See you, Dren!
Yeah.
Let's see here.
H 14.
My favorite number and my favorite letter.
Okay, how will I stand?
No.
No, that's not gonna work.
I'll sit at the booth.
Once I had a secret love ♪
That lived within the heart of me ♪
All too soon my secret love ♪
Joanie, what are you doing here?
Became ♪
Look, you got to go.
You're going to spoil everything.
I'm expecting a girl any minute.
I know all about it, Dren.
Dren?
Oh, that brother of yours has got some mouth.
Richie didn't say anything to me.
Oh, sure, then how do you know about Dren?
Because.
You're the mystery lady.
Oh, boy, those guys were a riot,
a real riot!
First, they send me the letters, drive me crazy,
then they send over some little girl.
Boy, what a joke!
It was a joke, wasn't it?
It wasn't a joke?
Where'd you get "Dren" from?
Well, everyone always calls you a nerd.
I never thought you were a nerd.
In fact, you're just the opposite,
and nerd backwards is Dren.
Dren.
I like that!
Hey, you're cute.
Sure, for a little girl.
Oh, hey, look, I didn't mean that little girl stuff.
Uh, it was your letters.
They were great.
Very mature.
I was expecting a much older lady.
Really? Sure.
Oh, come on.
I could tell when I walked in.
You'd never be interested in anyone my age.
Oh
Well, I have to tell you, I guess you're right.
Hmm.
Look, Joanie, wait, wait.
You're not always going to be this age.
You're going to get older.
But what's the use?
You're going to get older, too.
You'll always be older than me.
I know, but you see, when people get older,
it doesn't seem to matter as much then as it does now.
Yeah.
My father is three years older than my mother.
They used to be the same age.
Joanie, uh, I have a feeling when I'm 22 and you're 19,
you're not going to feel the same way about me anymore.
And I'm going to wish you did.
Nineteen.
That's five years away.
What's that?
I don't know.
It's Richie and Ralph!
Oh, no, I don't want them to find me here.
I'll die!
Yeah. Uh No, wait. Uh, here, look. Oh!
Joanie, just-just hide, hide,
and, uh Oh!
Here. Here's the keys,
and let yourself out when everyone's gone, okay?
Okay. Thanks, Dren.
Dren. Yeah.
Well, Rich, I told you he'd be alone.
Five bills, Richard, five bills.
I'm sorry about this, Pots.
I let this guy talk me into betting five bucks
that the mystery lady wouldn't show up.
But we're not going to hang around.
We'll go. Come on, let's go.
Wait, wait, guys, uh, I might as well go with you.
No one's going to show up.
Well, Pots, I hate to say it,
but I knew you were being tricked.
I mean, I can't be the only one in Milwaukee
with a fabulous sense of humor, right?
Yeah. I figured.
Yeah, well, they fooled the old Pots again, you know.
Pulled one right over my eyes.
Must have looked pretty silly
just standing here all alone, huh?
Pretty silly, huh?
Well, come on, let's go, okay?
Well, you know, there's plenty of fish in the sea, Pots.
Yeah, come on, Pots,
let's go eat five dollars worth of pizza.
It's on Richie.
Oh, listen, listen, I just remembered.
I've got to make a telephone call
and give Fonzie a message from Vivian
or else he's going to kill me.
Yeah, hey, wait a minute, Rich,
don't take too long, okay?
I don't want to be alone tonight.
No, it's all right, I'll meet you at the pizza parlor.
Come on, Pots. You can drive my car.
I'll let you play with my fuzzy dice.
Joanie?
Come on, I know you're here.
This is the coat I got you for Christmas.
Look, it's got your name in it.
I lent it to somebody.
Joanie, I'm not going to laugh at you.
Yes, you will.
No, I won't say a word about it.
Sure.
Oh, come on, I promise.
Really?
♪♪
Isn't this nice?
Richard's gone up to bed,
and your father's at his lodge meeting,
and we're all alone downstairs, just the two of us.
I think we could have a nice chat.
About what?
Oh, about anything.
We can talk about school,
or we can talk about ice skating.
Or we could talk about
what happened at Arnold's tonight.
He told you, I knew it!
Joanie Everybody knows! I'm going to die!
Oh Joanie, come on out of there.
Everything is all right.
No. I'm going to stay under here
for the rest of my life.
Oh, now, come on, Joanie, I can't talk to you this way.
I Joanie?
All right, I'll talk to you like this.
I don't want to talk.
I know just how you feel.
Joanie, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, wouldn't it be better if we talked?
You know, Joanie, you're a big girl now.
You don't have to go up to bed.
You can stay up here and think about it.
Because what happened tonight happens to everybody.
It's just part of growing up.
Well, why does it have to hurt so much?
I don't know, but it does.
And there's no cure for it.
Except time and peanut butter.
What?
Well, when I was your age, and this happened to me,
I'd go right home and eat an entire jar of peanut butter.
And it helped.
Good night.
Crunchy?
I like smooth.
Guess it's just one of those days.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
Happy Days! ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪