Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s03e14 Episode Script

1
Ahh!
Grape and cookies.
Mmm.
Good evening.
Uh, fudge nutty?
If you are on a break
Perhaps someone else
can assist me.
I am the only one here.
What exactly
are you looking for?
Something like this.
Note the unusual filigree.
Customer:
Rise and shine, my boy.
Where am I?
Who am I?
You are tohru,
my most loyal henchman.
Uncle: Jackie,
next time you take Jade
to movies by yourself.
Popcorn stale,
sound too loud
And story
unrealistic.
Oh, you expected reality
from brain-draining freaks
from planet medulla?
Hey, I'm sleeping
with noseplugs tonight.
No alien's
getting its mitts
on my brain matter.
(Gasps)
I told tohru never
to leave shop door open!
You let mosquitoes in
and the air conditioning out!
Hey, t!
You missed a classic.
Jade: Tohru?
Hello?
He probably
just stepped out
for a minute.
Hmm. Tohru
would never leave
without writing note.
And he would never
leave a cookie uneaten.
Customer: I am valmont.
don't you remember me?
I remember nothing.
Jolly good potion.
It would seem you are
the victim of amnesia.
Allow me to fill
in some blanks.
I am the leader
of the dark hand,
a premiere
crime syndicate,
and you work for me.
Premiere crime syndicate?
Um, a temporary setback,
I assure you,
but it was
only yesterday
that you and I were
at the top of our game.
See? You made
the FBI's most wanted,
3 years running.
Oh, so it is true.
But how?
Our Nemesis must have
throttled you famously
for your entire memory
just to up and vanish.
Nemesis?
Jackie chan.
Chan will pay.
In good time,
loyal one,
in good time.
First, we have
a very important
flight to catch.
(Chanting)
Yu mo gue guai fi di ziao.
Yu mo gue guai
fi di ziao.
Tohru is there.
How did
he get there?
Told you
he's been kidnapped.
Let's bring
our boy home.
Master, are there
no closer banks
for us to rob?
We have not traveled
to Sri Lanka
for any run-of-the-mill
heist, tohru.
We are here
for the score
of a lifetime.
And the beauty of it?
All we require
is your muscle
and the instructions
to a secret location,
which we
are soon to collect.
Now, be on
your best behavior.
Yes, master.
Chundi!
How my heart soars
to see you again.
Master babur,
it pleases me
to introduce
my protg tohru.
Ah, any brother
to chundi
is a brother
to our monastery.
Tohru, assume
lotus position
while babur
and I catch up.
So, chundi,
could it be you have
finally returned
to attain
true enrichment?
You have a way with words,
master babur.
Then you shall be among
the privileged few,
the purest of spirit,
who have communed
at the legendary temple.
Your companion
is also worthy?
Uhh!
Oh, yes, indeed.
Tohru possesses
great strength--
uh, inner strength--
of a most spiritual nature.
Then come. Allow me
to bestow upon you
the directions
to the temple
of the golden elephant.
Uncle
I'm parched.
Can't we
just drink it?
We are out of water.
Do you want
to find tohru?
Yes?
Then we must not
drink locator spell!
Uh, how about now?
Unh! Uhh-uhh-uhh!
Tohru!
Ahh, he is safe.
What's he doing?
It would seem
my apprentice
seeks inner peace.
So I will give him
pieceOf uncle,
for making us worry
ourselves sick!
And I will fetch us
some water.
Hey, big fella!
Remove yourself, child.
What's with the 'tude,
dude?
I came halfway around
the world to find you.
You are
lousy shopkeeper!
You leave
without sweeping.
Uncle could have
slipped on crumbs
and broken hip!
What are you
jabbering about,
old fool?
(Gasps)
You speak
to your sensei
that way?
Ow! Grrrr!
Tohru, what is with you?
YouKnow my name?
Uh, Jackie, I don't think
tohru recognizes us.
What? Oh, do not
be silly, Jade.
Jackie chan.
See? Tohru knows
exactly who I am.
My Nemesis!
Uhh!
- Uhh!
Ayah!
Tohru, it is me, Jackie!
Yes, I know. Yaah!
Jackie,
don't hurt tohru!
What about me?
Rarrgghh!
Tohru, whatever I did
to anger you I am sorry!
Lastly, you will both emerge
from the bamboo forest
to find yourselves
at the lake of riddles.
(Crashing)
Ooh, what was that?
Whoa! Oof!
Unnnh!
Freak pottery accident.
Frightful how they'll
just spontaneously
combust.
Shall we press on then?
Tohru: I will crush you!
Uhh!
Tohru is not acting
like himself.
Oh, yes, he is.
His old self.
Chundi,
what are you hiding?
This is not
the behavior of one
who is prepared
to visit the temple.
Which reminds me,
left or right
at the lake?
Across.
Oop.
Thank you, master.
And now that I have
been enlightened,
let us forget
that we ever
had this chat.
It's time to jog
tohru's memory!
Tohru, remember
all those times
we butt-whupped
the shadowkhan?
The who?
Uh, ok,
never mind them.
Well, how about the time
you helped me get over
the crush I had
on the kid in my class
who was a demon?
There is no such thing
as demons.
Grrr!
Tohru, remember?
Your favorite--
grape soda.
Grape what?
Ooooh!
(Growls)
Uhh!
Jade: Tohru, stop this!
Why are you acting like you
work for the dark hand?
Because I work
for the dark hand.
Uncle: Then shame on you!
Just like old times.
Maybe that will knock
some sense into him.
But how did it
get knocked out of him
in the first place?
He's how!
Valmont!
- Valmont!
What have you done
to tohru?
Last I saw, he was
rolling down a hill.
Your doing, I believe.
Tell us the truth,
friar liar!
Perhaps tohru had enough
of sweeping floors
and decided
to take a better offer.
Mine.
Uncle: Sweeping floors
may be dirty work,
but it is honest!
Tohru is family.
He'd never
join you again!
Well, if you
don't believe me
Why don't
you just ask him?
(Tohru growls)
Tohru, please.
T, don't listen
to valmont!
Uncle: You will
pay for this.
Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Uhh! Unh!
Dark hand 3,
Jackie chan 0.
Come, tohru.
Yes, master.
Uncle: Ayah!
We are trapped!
And we've lost tohru.
For good.
(Jackie grunting)
Uhh!
It is no use.
Well, if valmont can crawl
out from under a rock,
to steal back tohru,
we can, too.
Steal him back,
I mean, er, again.
Uncle: Yu mo gue
guai fi di ziao.
Yu mo gue guai
fi di ziao.
Yu mo gue guai fi di zi--
uncle, you rock!
Levitation spell?
Uncle cannot pack
spell ingredients
for every occasion!
Sheesh! Who says
mud baths are relaxing?
Did you see
where tohru went?
Big fellow.
Monk: Aieee!
Master babur
has lost his memory.
Who is babur?
See?
Whoa. This amnesia bug's
really going around.
Hotcha!
If babur and tohru
both have amnesia,
valmont must have used
a potion on them.
And with that potion,
uncle can devise antidote
to bring back tohru's memory.
Valmont must still
have it with him.
We just
have to find him.
Oh, there is
no hope of that.
The strangers have
embarked for the temple
of the golden elephant,
and only master babur
knows where it is.
Are you my mother?
Oh, the temple's location
is lost forever.
Oh? Can of grape soda
tells uncle otherwise.
Valmont: Ahh.
The golden elephant
lies within that temple.
Ow!
don't you recognize
boiling water?
Oh, now,
how do we get across?
A riddle?
Perhaps if
we answer it
"What do you call
the life story
of a car?"
Uh, cartoon?
Vehicular memoirs?
Jade: Duh!
Autobiography!
I was about to say that.
Toodle-oo!
Oopsy.
Come on,
come on!
Aah!
Jackie!
Water very hot!
I am not soup yet!
Jackie! Huhh!
Uhh!
And he spikes
the landing!
How do we
get across now?
Did you not
pay attention?
Uncle: We must
answer riddle.
No problemo.
"What is the beginning
of eternity
"The end of time and space,
"the beginning
of every end,
and the end
of every place?"
No fair!
We got a brainbuster!
Valmont: At last.
My ticket
- to a life of luxury!
And so few have seen it,
it will never be missed.
Jade: End of every place
End of every place.
The exit?
I wish this was
a lake of crosswords.
I am better at those.
Uncle: Eeeeeee!
Stub your toe?
The answer
to the riddle.
The end of time
and place.
In English, it is
the letter "e."
Well, uncle.
Uhh!
Just lift with your legs
and pack up that pachyderm!
Yes, master.
Uhh!
Creepy.
Uhh!
Funny how the guy
who can't remember
is trying to steal
the animal
that never forgets.
Stop, tohru!
If you remove
the elephant,
something very bad
will happen!
Which would be?
Do not recall.
I'm expert in Chinese
mythology, not Indian.
don't listen.
Our enemies
are just trying
to trick you again.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Unnnhh!
Uh-oh.
Now I remember.
Stone sentinels
will destroy
whomever attempts
to steal elephant.
I never
touched it!
T!
Oooh!
Uncle! Your spell!
Do you not listen?
Uncle cannot make
amnesia antidote
without amnesia potion!
The turn-stone-into-mud spell.
Ah, that one
uncle can do.
And while you work
your magic
I'll motion
for some potion.
Ha! The artful bungler.
Hand it over!
Say pretty please!
Jade, did you see
where uncle put
dried blowfish?
Cannot complete
spell without it.
(Sighs)
Uncle, are you ok?
Uncle!
Uncle who?
Oh, boy.
Fare thee well,
you old goat!
Ah, I am a goat.
No! You're uncle,
the only one
who can bring back tohru!
Baa!
Ecch! You're disgusting!
The harder they are
The bigger they break.
Valmont: Many thanks
for your help, chan.
A shame tohru must
render you senseless
so we may get on with
our crime unhindered.
Uh, tohru,
if you please.
No.
What do you mean, no?
You were not so loyal
to your loyal henchman.
Well, I--I was simply
hoping to duck away
and find a large mallet
with which to assist.
Something inside tells me
that Jackie is my friend.
And something inside
tells me
that you are forgetting
who is boss.
Hyaaah!
Bull's-eye!
Where am I?
The ballet.
You're doing
a fabulous swan lake.
Valmont can pirouette
all the way to prison.
Prison?
You need not worry,
tohru.
Elephants may remember
with their heads,
but you remembered us
with your heart.
Jade: Uh, Jackie?
Baa!
That's all he's gonna
remember us with
if we don't figure out
how to get uncle's
memory back.
Ta-da!
- Baa!
Then perhaps we
should start doing some
Research.
Research.
Hey, Jackie,
what's your favorite food?
Anything fast.
I really don't
like to sit there.
12 people sit there,
they give you a soup.
You have to wait.
12 people all have a soup.
The soup already cold.
I like everything quick.
Done.