The Brady Bunch (1969) s03e16 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
Come on, Greg, open up.
Yeah, Greg, open up.
GREG: Not now
I'm working on something important.
Let's go around the other way
through the girls' room.
It's our room, too!
You're supposed to knock
before you come in.
Sorry, but if you want to get even,
you can come into our room
without knocking.
Hey, what's all the yelling about?
What's going on?
Greg won't let us in.
He says he's working
on something important.
On what?
How should we know?
That's why we want to get in.
Come on.
Shh!
Get lost.
Is he kidding?
No!
PETER: Open up!
Yeah, open up! Come on, Greg!
And he won't let
anybody else in the room?
No.
What do you suppose
he's doing up there?
Maybe he's sleeping.
No, he's yelling too much for that.
GREG: I got it, I got it.
I got it. I got
I got it, I got it!
Alice, what's he got?
Well, I don't know, but whatever it is,
he sure is in a hurry to get rid of it.
Here come the hamburgers, Alice.
Ah, good. The coals are red-hot,
ready and waiting.
Well, I think we might
as well start barbecuing.
Greg ought to be back any minute.
Well, if he's within smelling distance,
he'll be back in a flash.
Did he say where he was going?
No, just "I got it, I got it!"
And then ( whistles ) like a tornado.
( Phone ringing )
I'll get it.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Sam.
Marcia?!
I'm not Marcia.
No, I'm not Jan either.
I'm Peter.
She's barbecuing right now.
Okay, I'll tell her.
Bye.
Alice, that was Sam.
He said he'd call back later.
Oh, thanks, Peter.
He thought I was a girl.
Hey, Peter, did Greg
say where he was going?
No, he just said, "I got it, I got it"
Yeah, I know, and then he went
( whooshing )
Alice, how do you do that?
You mean ( whistles )?
There's nothing to worry about though.
If he got hit by a tractor,
fell in a manhole or something,
the police would notify us
as soon as they got him to a hospital.
Oh, thanks you really know
how to put a person at ease.
PETER: Hi, Greg.
Greg, where have you been?
We were getting worried.
Mom, I'm 16.
When are you gonna stop
worrying about me?
When you're 60.
What's the matter?
You look upset.
I just lost a million bucks,
that's all.
A million bucks!
Ah! Easy come, easy go.
Greg, would you please tell me
what you're talking about?
I've been up in my room all afternoon
working on this surefire hit song
Is that why you locked yourself in?
Sure creative artists
don't like to be disturbed.
Look at the title:
"We Can Make the World
a Whole Lot Brighter."
That sounds great.
It's a guaranteed gold record,
and I can't record it.
Why not?
Mr. Dimsdale
he's the guy who owns
the best recording studio in town
wants 150 bucks in advance.
That's a lot of bread.
Bread!
That's practically cake!
How much do you have?
$43.12.
Well, if you believe
this is such a surefire hit song,
then you can save up the rest.
Are you kidding?
By that time, I'll be on Social Security.
Mr. Dimsdale.
I wonder if that's Johnny Dimsdale's dad.
Okay, let's do a take.
Okay, kids, let's try one.
Mr. Dimsdale?
Cut.
Not now, son.
Will you hold it
till after the Five Monroes
record their song?
But it's very important.
Relax a minute, kids.
Now, what's so important?
Are you Johnny Dimsdale's father?
That's right.
Well, I'm in his class.
We're pretty good friends.
I'm Peter Brady.
Brady do you have
a brother named Greg,
who was just down here?
Yeah.
Peter, I'm afraid
the answer is no.
I gave him the best price in town.
But it's a guaranteed gold record.
If you want to see
a guaranteed gold record,
just watch the Five Monroes.
Hey, I got an idea.
I'll mow everybody's lawn around here
and I'm gonna raise that $107 I'm short.
Sounds great, Greg.
Would you quit watching
that dumb cartoon?
You haven't heard a word I've said.
Sounds great, Greg.
Greg, I just had a swell talk
with Mr. Dimsdale.
At the recording studio?
Yeah, I went over there
to ask him to cut his price.
I know his son Johnny.
Thanks, Pete.
Boy, will you be happy I went.
He cut the price!
No.
Then what the heck
are you so excited about?
I saw a great new group.
They're recording in
Mr. Dimsdale's studio.
Congratulations.
Mr. Dimsdale gave me
some good advice.
He said that family groups
sell millions of records.
Are you trying to make me
feel worse than I already do?
Greg, if that group I saw
is gonna make all that money,
then we ought to make more.
There are only five of them,
and there's six of us Brady kids.
Hey
Hey, Pete
you might have something.
Sure, and we'd make three
times as much as the Carpenters.
There are only two of them.
So we could we could
call ourselves the Brady Six.
It just might work.
And with us recording
my new great song
Pete, that's
That's a terrible idea.
Huh?
Why are you getting me
all charged up like this?
I'm still short $107.
I'll chip in all I have.
So will the others.
You think so?
Sure. Bobby, wouldn't you?
Sounds great, Greg.
Thanks, Pete.
I think we better get his money
before the cartoon ends.
But don't you want to be
rich and famous?
Definitely.
Likewise.
Then put up your share, like I'm doing.
I'm not blowing all my lunch money
on some dumb dream.
Besides, I'm saving up
to buy something special.
Like what?
I won't know till I buy it.
I'm a girl.
Look, you're passing up
a deal of a lifetime
No. No!
Say that again. Huh?
Say "no." No.
Amazing. Now let me hear you sing it.
Sing "no"?
No
Come on, come on, sing it.
No
No
Fabulous! Isn't she great?
Huh? Oh, yeah, great.
GREG: Now you, Jan.
No
Come on No
No
GREG: Terrific!
Now, the two of you together.
Ready?
No
No No
More, more.
No! No!
Sensational! It's too bad
you girls aren't part of the group.
But you have my personal promise.
What personal promise?
That when we become
rich and famous singing stars
we won't forget you, will we, Pete?
Sure we will.
If they're not in, then they're out.
I guess you're right.
Hey, wait a minute!
Count me in.
Count me in, too.
What you doing?
Oh, Cindy, go get your secret money
and give it to Greg.
JAN: Here you go, Greg.
( Coins clinking )
Here you go, Greg.
Thank you.
JAN: Two dollars.
MARCIA: 20, 30
Thank you. Yeah, that's right.
Hey, why am I giving
Greg all my money?
Well, don't worry about it, Cindy.
Just do it.
No!
I like my money.
Cindy, let me hear you sing something.
I don't feel like it.
Okay, then you can't join
our new singing group
and become famous
And rich
And get your picture in the newspaper.
Home, home on the range
Where the deer and the antelope play ♪
Where seldom is heard
You're short $53.12.
No, Dad, we have $53.12.
It's the $96.88 we're short.
That comes out at $150.
Yeah, that's the way I would figure it.
We'll pay you back,
and give you ten percent
of all the money the Brady Six
makes off the record.
No deal.
20 percent.
Greg, I'm an architect.
I don't want to branch out
into the record-producing business.
( Sighs )
But I might advance you
the rest of the money you need,
provided it's an advance
on your allowances.
Let's say, um
50 cents a week
out of each of your allowances
till it's paid off.
Bring down the eight.
Dad, instead of 50 cents
out of our allowances
how about 30% of the first million?
No. If you want that money,
it comes out of your allowances.
You drive a tough bargain, Dad,
but I'll take it.
( Strumming )
Birds flying high,
in search of a clear blue sky ♪
While they're chopping down
the trees below them ♪
Come take a stand
and help us save the land ♪
Let's go out and try to make it better ♪
And maybe we can make the
world a whole lot brighter ♪
We can make the load a little lighter ♪
Everybody has to try together ♪
Don't you know it's now or never ♪
Meadows once green
are few and far between ♪
And the rivers
might run brown tomorrow ♪
God made the land
for each and every man ♪
So we must do all we can to save it ♪
And maybe we can make the
world a whole lot brighter ♪
We can make the load a little lighter ♪
Everybody has to try together ♪
Don't you know it's now or never. ♪
( Alice cheering )
Hey, kids, that's wonderful.
Boy, if I didn't know you were
going to give me a free record,
I'd offer to pay for one.
$50 and one penny,
$50 and two pennies
Aha! A whole nickel at one time.
I have two more dollars
in change, Mr. Dimsdale.
And then the rest is in
a check from my parents.
Is that a regular check or
is it in a lot of little pieces?
It's a regular check.
Son, you got yourself a recording studio.
Great, and you won't
book anyone else in it.
It's all yours, paid for and legal.
Well, see you on Friday,
and wait till you hear the Brady Six.
We're gonna be the
greatest recording group
you ever heard.
Let's go out and try to make it better ♪
And maybe we can make
the world a whole lot ♪
( Voice cracks ): Brighter
We can make the load
Uh-oh, someone sure hit a clinker.
Everybody has to try to
All right, Pete quit the clowning.
Who's clowning?
Oh, that was worse than a clinker.
That was a clunker.
All right, let's try it again.
From the top of the bridge, ready?
One, two, three
And maybe we can make the
world a whole lot brighter ♪
We can make the load a little ♪
( Voice cracks ): Lighter
What's the problem?
I'm not doing it on purpose, honest.
Alice?
How old was Greg
when his voice started to change?
He was around 13, I think.
Uh-oh.
Maybe you're right.
When Sam called the other day,
he said Pete sounded like a girl.
I bet Pete's voice was cracking then.
Maybe some water will
get rid of that frog.
My voice is sure doing
goofy things lately.
Hey, the group was beginning
to sound really good in there.
( Voice cracks ): Thanks
a lot.
Peter, I don't know how to tell you this,
but well, I'm afraid
your voice is changing.
( Squeaky ): My voice? Changing?
GREG: Oh, no.
We're supposed to record Friday.
That's only six days away.
How long does it take a voice to change?
Well, it's it's hard to say.
We've got to record my song Friday.
I gave Mr. Dimsdale 150
nonreturnable dollars.
Don't worry, Greg by Friday,
my voice is gonna be just
( squeaky ): Swell.
How you doing, Pete?
I think I'm starting to melt.
Hey, cover up.
The steam's beginning to help.
Your voice sounds like it used to.
Yeah, I think it's
( squeaky ): Back to normal.
Here, take some of this honey.
Here it comes.
Not in my ear!
Sorry.
That tastes pretty good.
Say that again. I think the
honey is working already.
I said that tastes
( squeaky ): Pretty good.
Stand by for more honey.
You sure honey's good for the voice?
Sure. You never heard a
bee's voice crack, did you?
( Howling )
( Howling grows louder )
Mike. Mike.
( Sleepily ): Hmm? What?
I heard something.
What did you hear?
I don't know, it sounded kind of like a
( howling ) Like that.
Anybody in the neighborhood
own a pet coyote?
( Howling continues )
( Clattering )
That was in the house.
( Whispers ): Yeah, I know.
( Howling )
( Screaming )
Shh! Mr. Brady
Did-did-did you hear that
mountain lion out there?
Mr. Brady thinks it's a coyote.
Well, whichever.
I don't like feeling
like I'm a midnight snack.
( Howling ) It sounds
like a prowler in pain.
Oh It seems to be
coming from the driveway.
You two stay here.
Oh, no.
I'm going with you.
With my luck, if I'm inside,
whatever's outside will be inside.
( Howling )
( Howling )
( Howling )
( Howling )
( Howling )
( Howling )
( Howling )
Oh, hi.
What are you doing in there, Peter?
Do you know it's after midnight?
I'm trying to scream my voice
back to the way it was.
I came out to the car 'cause I didn't want
( squeaky ): To wake anybody up.
Well, you woke anybody up.
I'm sorry.
Well, there's no use in
wasting all this good fright.
I think I'll go in and turn
on the late-late horror show.
Could I have my
roommate back, please?
Well, you mind if we join you, Peter?
Of all the crummy times
for my voice to change.
Oh, honey, it's all part of growing up.
You should have heard my brother
when his voice changed.
He sounded just like my mother.
Yeah, you should've heard
me when I was your age.
( Squeaky ): Good morning,
Mother. Good morning, Father.
Why couldn't my voice
start changing after Friday?
By then, we could
have recorded Greg's song
and everybody wouldn't
look at me that way.
Nobody looks at you in any special way.
Oh, yeah? Cindy stuck her tongue
out at me twice today.
Oh, honey, she's only a little girl.
Yeah, but she's got a big tongue.
Pete, there are some things you
just have to leave to Mother Nature.
It will pass.
I hope Mother Nature
has to record a song someday
and her voice starts to crack.
Maybe your voice won't crack on Friday.
I sure hope it doesn't
'cause I don't want
to let the others down.
Keep Peter.
Keep Peter.
Dump Peter.
Dump Peter.
Dump Peter.
Keep Peter.
Now it's a tie three to three.
How can it be three to three
when there are five of us voting?
Well, I couldn't make up
my mind, so I voted twice.
I'm not dumb enough to do that.
Yes, you are.
Look, it's only two days until Friday
and we've got to do something.
So let's take another vote.
( All talking at once )
CAROL: Hi, gang. What's going on?
( All quiet down )
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.
I was just coming in
to get my needlepoint.
MARCIA: Why don't we ask Mom?
Ask Mom what?
Uh, Mom, we just took a
vote on whether or not
to let Pete record with us on Friday.
Well, how did it turn out?
It was a tie.
Two and a half to two and a half?
Cindy voted twice.
Once each way.
Well, I don't blame you, sweetheart.
That's a tough decision.
Well, I think that we
should record without Peter
but give him a full share
of the profits we make.
But the whole group is
Peter's idea in the first place,
and it's not fair to leave him out.
Pete always helps me
with my arithmetic,
so I think we should let him sing with us,
even if he ruins everything.
Well, what good is cutting a record
if nobody'll buy it.
Mom, what do you think?
Well I think I appreciate
the Supreme Court more and more.
Greg, couldn't you put off the recording
until Peter's voice settles down?
No way if we don't use
the studio Friday,
we lose the money.
Well, I'm afraid it's up to you kids.
( All talking at once )
Look, kids, listen.
I could make the decision for you
but it wouldn't be right.
I would like to give you
something to think about, though.
You know, money and fame
are very important things
but, well, sometimes,
there are other things
that are more important
like people.
Well, does everybody agree
that we should call off the recording?
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
Okay.
Come on, let's go tell Pete.
Oh, Pete, we were just
coming up to see you.
We have something we want to tell you.
I have something I want to tell you, too.
I don't want to spoil
your great song, Greg.
I'm just sorry
that it's time
for my dumb voice to change.
So I think you guys should
record it without me.
So, good luck.
What do we do now?
Well?
I don't know.
I still say we should let Pete sing with us.
And goof it all up.
Bobby, we can't record
with Peter's voice changing all
the way through the song.
Or can we?
I got it, I got it!
I bet he's going to lock
himself in our room again.
One, two
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na.
Autumn turns to winter ♪
And then winter turns to spring ♪
It's not just the seasons, you know ♪
ALL: It goes for everything
It's even true for voices ♪
When boys begin to grow ♪
You got to take the lesson ♪
From Mother Nature
And if you do, you'll know ♪
When it's time to change
( voice cracks ): Then
it's time to change ♪
Don't fight the tide,
come along for the ride ♪
Don't you see?
When it's time to change,
you got to rearrange ♪
Who you are
into what you're gonna be ♪
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Day by day, it's hard to see ♪
The changes you've been through ♪
A little bit of living
A little bit of growing
All adds up to you
Oh, every boy's a man inside ♪
A girl's a woman, too ♪
And if you want to reach your destiny ♪
Here's what you've got to do ♪
When it's time to change
( voice cracks ): Then
it's time to change ♪
Don't fight the tide,
come along for the ride ♪
Don't you see?
When it's time to change,
you've got to rearrange ♪
Who you are
into what you're gonna be ♪
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
( voice cracking ): Sha-na, na-na-na
When it's time to change,
you've got to rearrange ♪
Who you are
and what you're gonna be ♪
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
Sha-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na ♪
Sha-na, na-na-na
( music fades )
Okay, kids, that's a take.
( Cheering, laughing )
The Brady Six is a great group.
That sure makes me proud, Mrs. Brady.
You're proud?!
And to think I knew those kids
when they were just starting out.
Hi.
Hi, Alice.
Pete and I thought we'd
come down for some milk, right, Pete?
Okay; You want some cookies, too?
Wait a minute. You want some cookies?
Yeah, we'll have cookies, too.
Oh, no, can't you talk?
Have you got laryngitis?
You've got to record Greg's song
in just a couple of days.
Then you better sit down,
let me fix a gargle
It's okay, Alice. Pete can talk.
I'm just trying to conserve his voice.
Oh, so it won't crack anymore, right?
No, so it will.
Look, every group has its own sound
and Pete's voice cracking is
our special gimmick, right, Pete?
( Squeaking ): Right, Greg.
Hear that? He's playing our song.