Young Sheldon (2017) s03e18 Episode Script

1
[adult Sheldon] Previously on
Young Sheldon:
- Well, we covered football, and grandkids.
- Maybe we've run out of stuff to talk about.
- We forgot about your ex-husband.
- Ha, ha!
The one you're dating.
Well, I know not to piss him off
during a hail storm.
Did he tell you I was naked
when he locked me out?
What were you doing
naked with a golf club in a hail storm?
[laughs] I know, it was the '70s.
I was just calling to let you know
I read your paper.
The masses for your neutrinos
are impossible.
I completely rewrote
the whole thing from scratch.
I know credits are usually listed
alphabetically
but I'm fine with my name going second.
I'm not putting your name on it
in any way.
Grant Linkletter.
Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work
and is using it in his own paper.
How dare you accuse me of plagiarism!
I don't want to see you
in my class anymore.
[line clicks, dial tone]
I see, Dr. Sturgis.
Yes, that is unforgivable behavior.
Okay, bye.
- Did he apologize?
- No, he is very upset with you.
Well, I'm upset with him.
That doesn't excuse you
from trying to get him in trouble
by calling Dr. Linkletter.
Who else was I supposed to tattle to?
I doubt his mother's still alive.
Sheldon I understand why you're upset.
But you still owe him an apology.
Then you don't understand.
Well, for now, it sounds like
you two could use a little quiet time.
Fine. I'll switch over
to Dr. Linkletter's class.
He's a foot taller than Sturgis
and can reach more of the chalkboard.
What I meant was
Maybe it's time to take a break
from your college classes.
What? Why? I've gotten straight A's.
I know you're smart enough for college.
I'm just not sure you're mature enough.
Well it appears you've backed me
into a corner.
I would throw a tantrum right now
but that would just prove your point.
Where are you going?
To play with my trains.
Which may sound immature,
but it's a hobby many old men enjoy.
Nobody else is stronger than I am
Yesterday I moved a mountain
I bet I could be your hero
I am a mighty little man
I am a mighty little man
[all laugh]
I'm the only cheerleader
you should be looking at.
Ahh Uh. I was trying to find you.
- Just wanted to wish you a good game.
- Thank you.
- I'm gonna be cheering for you.
- Great.
Unless I catch you looking
at someone else.
- Then you'll regret it.
- No. Heh.
I'm not kidding.
Hi, George.
Oh, hey, Miss Hutchins.
I don't think I've seen you
at a game before.
Well, it's Friday, and I promised my
therapist I'd try one new thing a week.
And you picked football, good for you.
I don't suppose Sheldon's here.
No, he don't much care for outdoor sports.
Or sports.
Or the outdoors.
I was hoping I'd have someone to sit with.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
It was my fault
for letting myself feel hope.
You're welcome to watch
from the sidelines.
Thanks.
Watching life go by
from the sidelines is kind of my thing.
Hey, head's up!
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I don't think so.
Call an ambulance.
Yes, all right.
Don't worry, we're gonna
get you taken care of.
If I die,
tell my therapist I hate him.
And who says you have to be mature
to go to college?
I've seen Animal House.
- You have?
- Well, I've seen the poster.
Those people are not college material.
Moonpie, I know you don't like
to hear this, but there are
some things in life
that can only be learned in time.
So you must have learned them all, huh?
Get out of my house.
- Hang in there.
- I'm hanging.
Hey, this will be quite a story
to tell your grandkids.
I live alone, I'm single I don't think
grandkids are in the picture.
Oh, well. I got a wife and kids.
It's overrated.
And then my mother said
I wasn't mature enough for college.
Can you believe that?
- Absolutely.
- So, you're on their side too?
I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until
your parents die, you're basically a baby.
- Really?
- My grandma still treats my dad like a child.
At dinner, he can't sit until she sits.
And he can't speak until he's spoken to.
- I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.
- It's not as fun as I make it look.
Well, you can't bring her home
to an empty apartment.
Bring her here and we'll look after her
until she's back on her feet.
- Are you sure?
- Of course.
We'll set her up in Georgie's room.
Thanks, Mary. See you in a bit.
Hey, George?
It's real nice of you
taking care of her like this.
Well, it was kind of my fault.
Kind of? It was all your fault.
Bye.
Hey.
Hey. How'd we do?
- You didn't miss anything.
- That bad.
I can safely say you saw
the best hit of the night.
How's she doing?
Well, not bad.
Could be worse.
Little whiplash.
Couple of bruised ribs, broken arm,
and collar bone.
But that's it.
Funny how you jumped
out of the way and let her get clobbered.
I did not jump out of the way.
Oh, yeah you did. They got you on tape.
Okay, fine. But that was pure instinct.
Besides, she shouldn't
have been standing on the sideline.
Why was she there?
I told her she could.
Oh, man. You must feel terrible.
Of course I do.
I mean, it's all on you.
- You done?
- Oh, baby.
I'm just getting started.
Oh, you poor dear. Come on in.
Thanks. I hope I'm not putting you out.
Of course not.
Hey, Sheldon.
Can you believe my mother
said I can't go to college?
So you just put her in my
room without consulting me?
- Consult you? Who cares what you think.
- Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.
It's just for a few nights
until she can take care of herself.
Can I at least stay at Meemaws?
If you promise not to come back.
Why'd you gotta be so mean to me?
Just feels right.
And then after Dr. Sturgis
incorporated my math,
he refused to give me a co-author credit.
Sheldon she doesn't want to hear
about that.
It's okay.
So when your bones broke
did you hear it crunch?
No.
Did my dad have to give
you mouth-to-mouth?
No.
I don't know how my mom kisses him.
[woman] Next up we have this
Who buys this crap?
Me after three beers.
I mean, look at this damn thing.
What was I thinking.
[chuckles]
Can I ask you a personal question?
You're not in my will.
It's about my girlfriend.
- Uh-oh.
- Nothing bad.
It's just I've been seeing Jana
for a while now and
I like her fine.
But it feels like she's getting
more serious than I wanna be.
Georgie, until you're married,
you are not tied down to anybody.
You just go ahead
and do whatever you want.
Play the field, have some fun.
Interesting. That's what Dale said too.
Oh, did he?
Yeah.
- My boyfriend.
- Yeah.
If I don't go to college,
what am I supposed to do?
Spend all my days in high school?
How sad is that?
Pretty sad.
You always did get me.
Sounds like you're feeling
misunderstood.
I am. By Dr. Sturgis, my mother,
and possibly the entire Vietnamese culture.
Do you understand that I'm in
a little bit of pain right now?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I should be exhibiting compassion.
Aww.
Wait, I can do better.
Aww.
Nailed it.
Time for your pain pill.
Be careful. You could become addicted
and lose your job.
- Which is all you have.
- Get out of here.
Thank you.
You comfortable? Get you anything else?
No, I'm okay.
You've been so kind,
welcoming me into your home.
It's the least we could do.
It's so nice to be around
a family like this.
I've been alone for so long.
Honestly, if it weren't for the cats
I'd have no one.
Oh, wait. The cats.
I abandoned Edgar and Allan.
Edgar and Allan?
Poe ran away.
Would you please go feed them
and tell them I love them?
Any chance this could wait
till the morning?
I guess.
Where are you off to?
Cats!
So you think he's seeing somebody else?
I don't think I should be talking
about this, he's my boss.
Well he's my boyfriend so spill it.
It's weird when old people say boyfriend.
Fine, my lover.
- Well that's worse.
- Then talk!
The only woman I've really seen him
with is his ex-wife.
Oh, yeah but he hates her.
Don't seem like it.
What do you mean by that?
- They seem friendly.
- How friendly?
- I don't know. He's nice to her.
- How nice?
Do you mind? I'm trying to watch this.
[cat meows]
Son of a bitch!
Here Edgar or Allan!
Whichever the hell one you are!
They ever leave the store together?
Can I please just go to bed?
Just answer the damn question.
I feel like I'm gonna get fired for this.
Georgie, don't worry.
Anything you say is gonna stay right here.
But you lie all the time.
I learned to lie from you.
See what a special bond we have?
Now answer the damn question!
- Why were you gone for so long?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Whoa.
- What's that?
It's a ghost detector
that came in my cereal box.
It's just a piece of paper.
Then why did it move in my hand?
From perspiration.
Or ghosts.
Morning.
Did you check on Miss Hutchins?
Is she still alive?
'Course she is, why?
No reason.
I'm gonna go eat breakfast with her.
Sheldon, just let her rest.
It's okay, she enjoys my company.
Also, she understands
what I'm going through with Dr. Sturgis.
Excuse me,
I am just trying to help you
grow up to be a functional adult.
Me? This one's looking for cereal ghosts.
Looking for and found them.
I don't care. You are not ready for college.
If it were up to you
I'd still be in grade school.
If you think this is mature behavior,
it isn't!
Being a mom's hard, isn't it?
Sometimes.
If you ever wanna talk about it,
I'm here for you.
Oh, it's moving again.
You're so lucky.
You're gonna have to
walk me through that.
Well, you don't have anyone in your house
telling you can or can't do.
Right, Sheldon. I don't have anyone.
I just said that.
Are you becoming a drug addict already?
Morning.
Got you some Shipley's
donuts and coffee.
- What happened to your face?
- Oh, uh
Either Edgar or Allan.
Oh, that was Edgar.
He can be a rascal.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Did you sleep good?
- Yeah.
- Want some pancakes?
- Sure.
Just one more question about Dale.
Bye.
Here we go, nice little bite-sized pieces.
Thanks, George, but I think I can manage.
Oh, no, my pleasure.
He feels so guilty,
he'll do anything you ask him.
- That's enough.
- He bought me an Easy-Bake oven
when he closed
the car door on my thumb.
Unlike my mother who feels no guilt
after hurting her children.
How dare you.
I am trying to keep you safe
until such time as you can make
adult decisions.
I can make them now.
Hey, hey. We have a guest.
Let's pretend like we like each other.
Mary, do you grace thing.
- You okay with Mexican?
- Oh, yeah, terrific.
All right, now I got Tums
in the glove box for the ride home.
Great.
So you talk to June lately?
A couple days, why?
Oh, no reason.
I was just kind of thinking
of calling her myself.
I mean, if you're okay with that.
You wanna call my ex-wife,
go ahead and call her.
Well, I wouldn't want you
to feel uncomfortable.
- Yeah, you would.
- Yeah, I would.
I think it's nice you all get along
as well as you do.
Mm-hm.
Where are we going with this?
Oh, nothing, just conversation.
Okay.
- You sleeping with her?
- Lord, no.
She's my ex-wife, come on.
Oh, my gosh. What kind of sicko
sleeps with their ex-wife?
Where is this coming from?
Are you jealous?
No.
I just like to know
what kind of relationship we're in.
I mean, are we seeing
other people or what?
Connie Tucker.
Are you asking me to go steady?
You know what I'm asking, jackass.
All right, all right, you listen to me.
Now, I'm 72 years old.
You think I have enough stamina
to go playing around with other women?
You're saying the only reason
you're seeing me
is you're too old
and tired to see anybody else?
Give me the Tums.
I could kiss you forever.
It's kind of a long time.
You got somewhere else to be?
No, it's just eventually
we're gonna get hungry.
Why do I keep getting the feeling
you're not into this?
Oh, I am into this.
But?
I mean, we're real young
and who knows what's going to happen.
I know! And you should too!
Well don't feel bad,
I don't know lots of stuff.
So as long as we're on the subject,
are you seeing anybody else?
No.
How about that nutty professor?
We're just friends.
Yeah, well.
That's what June and I are, just friends.
So, what are we?
I don't know, what do you want to call it?
I guess a
committed relationship?
Works for me.
Okay. It's settled.
Connie?
This relationship is suffocating me.
What'd I say?
- I'm not enough for you.
- I didn't say that.
Just be honest.
You wanna date other girls.
I don't want to date other girls
instead of you.
Just in addition to you.
Drop dead.
Okay, but I'm gonna follow you,
make sure you get home safe.
Do whatever you want.
If you walk to Dairy Queen
I'll buy you a Blizzard.
Want me to turn on some music?
[rock music playing]
Well, this is just delicious, Mary.
Thank you.
Bite size enough for you?
Oh, perfect.
How long do I have to sit here and sulk
before someone asks me what's wrong?
Maybe people are tired
of hearing about it.
Miss Hutchins, would you care
to chime in?
Oh, I don't want to get in the middle
of a family issue, but
I will say that I once had a falling out
with someone very close to me.
What happened?
We ended up parting ways on bad terms.
I still regret it.
But you were right and they were wrong?
You know what?
Doesn't feel like it matters anymore.
And not a day goes by
that I don't miss them.
Perhaps I do owe Dr. Sturgis an apology.
I was talking about your mother.
I'll circle back to her.
Thank you.
I can't believe you got through to him.
Happy to help.
So, who was the person
you had the fight with?
It was my cat, Poe.
She ran away when I switched to dry food.
It was cheaper.
- Goodnight, baby.
- Goodnight, Mama.
I'm really sorry, Mom.
I forgive you.
But just because you straightened
things out with Dr. Sturgis,
doesn't mean
you're going back to college.
- Yes, it does.
- No, it doesn't.
I hope you know
you're jeopardizing our relationship.
I will take that risk.
Goodnight.
You know I'll eventually wear you down.
We'll see. I'm pretty tough.
[adult Sheldon]
I eventually wore her down.
There's just so much of me
anybody can take.
[reporter] In local news,
Friday night's football game
was marred by a brutal injury.
When football coach,
George Cooper, saved himself
at the expense of beloved
school librarian, Cheryl Hutchins.
Oh, no.
We warn you,
the following footage is hard to watch.
Then don't show it.
Let's see it again in slow-motion.
[George] This is not news.