Gilligan's Island (1964) s03e20 Episode Script

1
Somebody's been eating my fruit!
And somebody's been sitting in my chair!
Somebody's been
sleeping in my hammock,
and that somebody is still there!
[Growling]
[Tarzan yell]
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship's aground
on the shore of this ♪
uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
Boy, I sure am glad that's over with.
8 hours to mend a fishnet. Ha ha!
Yeah. Well, that ought
to hold a few weeks.
Skipper! Skipper, oh, skipper!
Oh, skipper! Oh, skipper!
No! Gilligan!
What are you doing?
I saw an ape! I mean, I saw a man!
I saw an ape-man! I saw a man-ape!
You what?
I don't care what he saw.
Gilligan, you just ruined 8 hours of work
on this net.
You should've seen him.
He was 10 feet tall.
He had shoulders way out to here!
He ate my fruit, he sat in my chair.
He was in my hammock, and went
[Imitates Tarzan yell]
[Coughing]
An ape?
No, it was a man.
It was an ape-man. I-I-It was a man-ape.
Gilligan, it couldn't have been an
ape-man. There is no such thing.
Gilligan looks a little
glassy-eyed, doesn't he?
He looks like he's in shock.
Take it easy, little buddy.
Tell us what it really looked like.
Gilligan!
See? I told you.
There you are.
To you, my dear. First today.
Thank you, darling.
What did you put in the drink, my dear?
The usual.
I thought an ape just jumped over us.
That's odd. I thought a
man just jumped over us.
Ginger, fresh pineapple
juice for breakfast.
Mmm. Delicious.
That should be enough.
I can never get over
this jungle supermarket.
The only thing missing is trading stamps.
Grraah!
Aah! Aah!
Y-You know, I still don't understand
why we're out looking for him.
Would you rather be with the women?
Now that you bring it up, yes. Yes!
We can't sit around in fear of our lives.
We're gonna have to capture him.
I thought we were just
looking for him. See you.
Come back here, gilligan.
Let him stand on somebody else's chest.
There are 4 of us,
and we've got weapons.
Although I don't know
what good an umbrella is.
What good is it?
Why, if that cut-rate
Tarzan comes near me,
I'll separate his tar from his zan!
It don't do any good just
standing around here gabbing.
Let's get going, ha ha!
Forward!
Wait a minute. My umbrella.
I left my umbrella back there.
I'll get it for you.
Wait, gilligan! Come back here
Whoa-oh
What's the matter?
Aaaaaah!
What? What? What?
I found him he found
me. We found each other.
Where? Where? Who? Who?
Right over there!
Where? Where?
[Tarzan yell]
Get under here!
Oh! Ow!
It was awful, lovey.
It just kept raining coconuts.
That creature or beast, whatever it is,
kept throwing coconuts at us.
Oh, my poor darling.
What a dreadful experience.
Yes. I think it bruised my patrician head.
Here I think he
flattened one of your hairs!
And you have so few.
Oh, thurston, how can you think of golf
when we're all in such terrible danger?
I'm not, my dear. I'm choosing a weapon.
Oh, thurston, haven't you any fear?
My dear, a ho well wouldn't even know
how to spell the word "fear."
Grr!
Oh! Fear, f-e-a-r, fear!
How dare you!
That's Mr. Howell's custom-made niblick.
And aren't you ashamed,
frightening poor Mr. Howell?
And really, if I were
you, I'd change tailors.
Out! Out! Out!
Out! Or I'll forget that I'm a ho well!
Oh there, there, dear.
That nasty overgrown
monkey is all gone.
Lucky for him that I fainted.
Yes, it is.
Hand me the eyebrow
pencil, will you, ginger?
Why do you suppose an ape-man
would want to carry us off?
Oh, I don't know.
Well, he's only half ape.
The other part is man.
How do I look?
Terrible!
Good! We have to make
ourselves as ugly as possible
so he'll leave us alone.
I think you're safe now.
Here, let me work on you.
That wouldn't do any good.
There's just no way to make me ugly.
Why don't we barricade the door?
Hey, that's a great idea!
Then he'll leave us both alone.
Give me a hand with this.
Mmm. I feel safer already.
Well, me, too, but not safe enough yet.
Ginger: The men must've
caught him by now.
Mary Ann: You really think so?
Yeah but let's not take any chances.
Say, ginger
Have you thought
about how he got here?
Hm? Ginger?
Grr!
Aah!
Aah!
Stay where you are.
D-Don't come any closer.
Aah! Don't touch me!
Don't touch me
[Grunting]
Don't touch me.
[Grunts]
No, thanks. I never drink before dinner.
Grr!
Don't mind if I do.
My name is, uh, ginger.
[Grunts]
Hi.
[Grunts]
[Imitates grunt]
[Exchanging grunts]
Uh
Ginger.
Gin-ger.
Hrah! Gin
no, no, no.
Gin
Ger.
Ahh
Ginger!
Well, at least you got the ginger right.
Ginger!
I see I'm gonna have
to change my name.
Uh
What's your name?
Huh?
Uh
Ginger
You
Name.
Ohh
Ginger
Tongo!
Tongo!
Tongo!
Tongo
Ginger!
Oh!
Now, we're getting near the caves.
Look for tracks, broken twigs
Perhaps even a shred
of clothing on a tree limb.
Not only that, but I'd look for ginger, too.
Well, ton go, uh, it's been
very nice meeting you. Uh
Maybe we'll meet again
sometime at the zoo.
I thought you were
part ape, not part wolf.
Skipper: Ginger!
Ginger!
Ginger!
Ginger, shout if you can hear us!
No! Absolutely no!
There won't be any danger.
We'll be right there.
No danger? I hit him
pretty hard with that coconut,
by the time we got back
to the cave, he was gone.
Ginger, we don't have a choice.
We've gotta lure him into a
trap and he's attracted to you.
I'm not attracted to him!
Now, look, I admit, back in Hollywood,
I dated some swingers,
but they didn't swing from trees.
Professor, what are we gonna do?
Someone'll have to bait the trap.
Hi!
What's going on?
We got him!
We we got him, too!
Oh, he may be caged,
but I'm scared to death!
Hope those bars hold.
Hate to find out we were
murdered in our sleep.
Don't worry, gilligan,
they've been reinforced. It'll hold.
We'd better get some sleep.
We seem to be infuriating him.
Yes. Come on. Goodnight!
Watch him!
My third night on the island.
I didn't think it possible
But they caught me.
I haven't seen her for some time.
I think the redhead is ginger Grant,
the actress who was
reported missing at sea.
I've got to try to keep fooling her
And the rest of them.
If I can do that
I know I'll be the best ape-man
the movies have ever seen.
Playing ton go the ape-man
is my big chance!
And fooling these 7 people
is greater experience
than any actor could ever hope for!
I'll
[twigs crack]
You want a drink?
Drink. [Slurps]
Do you get it?
Drink?
Do you get it?
Drink!
You get it?
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
I
Don't think he got it.
Here. Listen
You ton go
And gilligan.
Hrah.
Ginger.
No, no.
Gilligan.
And ton go.
Gill-i-gan?
Yeah!
He said my name. Gilligan!
Gill-i-gan?
The others won't believe it! Gilligan!
Gilligan! Gilligan!
Gilligan! Gilligan, yeah!
Gilligan! Gilligan!
It looks like gilligan's trying to talk to him.
Huh! For the first time in his life,
gilligan's ahead of us.
Tongo, gilligan,
boys.
Boys?
Yeah. And ginger,
girl.
Girl?
Yeah.
Girl.
Gilligan,
boy.
Till this minute, I didn't know
if gilligan knew the difference.
He's doing a great job with ton go.
Professor: Gilligan.
We came over to see if we could find
some way of communicating with ton go,
and there you were, talking to him.
Hnh ginger!
[Imitating monkey] Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
I didn't mean to teach him that.
He understands and wants to be friends.
He sure wants to be friends with ginger.
He'd learn more quickly if we let him out.
Well, perhaps so.
Be ready to slam the door
in case anything happens.
[Unlocking]
He trusts us!
Why, I think we can teach him anything.
My dear, look at those classic features,
that bone structure!
Hmm there's no doubt about it.
He must come from a fine family.
And even when he grunts
Detect, uh, just a trace of Harvard.
Breeding will tell.
You know, dear, even if
you'd been born an ape,
you'd still be a ho well.
A bit hairy, but a ho well.
Oh, yes.
Aw, the poor dear.
He must be hungry.
Here you are.
Now we'll see where he comes from.
If he eats with the fork in his left hand,
that indicates a European background.
If in his right, he's American.
Heavens! A Yale man!
Thank you, dear.
Say, but this is
he's very generous, you know.
Island.
Island.
Gimme.
This is water.
There. Maybe he'll
recognize it if he sees water.
Maybe the water will help
him recognize the island?
Gilligan, that's ridiculous!
Island!
Island!
You see, skipper?
Well, it was just a coincidence.
That must be the island he came from.
Uh, ton go
Did you come By boat?
Boat.
Boat!
Yeah, a boat. A boat.
[Imitates outboard motor]
[Copies him]
Boat.
Another coincidence, skipper?
Well, nobody likes a wise guy.
Where is Tongo's boat?
Boat.
Tongo. Ha!
Why, that's fantastic!
We've just taught him to communicate!
He's told us there's
a boat on the other island.
But, professor, he's on this island.
How'd he get here?
Maybe he swam.
You know, swim?
Swim? Yes, swim.
Yeah, swim.
Ahh swim.
Uh, ton go swim
Back to island.
Oh. Tongo
Swim island.
You realize what this means?
We can give him a note to take back.
Somebody'll read it, and rescue us.
Professor, you're a genius!
Yeah, but there's one
thing that might stop us.
What's that, gilligan?
Uh that
Maybe it's tongo's mother.
[Screeching]
It's not my mother!
I never saw it before in my life!
Aah!
He just he talks!
Yes, and and he spoke in English.
He sure learned fast.
Well, I don't get it.
Oh, look, he dropped something.
What is it?
Well, looks like
a miniature tape recorder.
Maybe this can tell us something.
I wonder which one dropped it.
Tongo dropped it!
Tongo: While I haven't
seen her for some time,
I think the redhead is ginger Grant,
the actress who was
reported missing at sea.
I've gotta try to keep fooling
her and the rest of them.
If I can do that, I know I'll be
the best ape-man
the movies have ever seen.
Playing ton go the ape-man
is my big chance!
And fooling these 7 people
is greater experience
than any actor could ever hope for!
I'll
why, he's just practicing to be the star
of an ape-man movie.
Well, he certainly fooled me.
I was never taken in.
No ape can ever grunt
like a Harvard man.
Whatever he's done
we're gonna have to rescue him.
Rescue him? Why, he
got what's coming to him!
Don't you see? He must've
landed here by boat,
the same boat will
be back to pick him up.
That's right. His
turning out to be a phony
is better for us.
But how can we rescue him?
We'll have to lure the gorilla away.
What do you use to lure a gorilla?
If we'd find out what a gorilla is fond of.
Another gorilla!
Where are we gonna find
another gorilla?
Yes.
Oh, my poor, poor furs.
How do I look?
Not bad.
Not bad? I'll have you know
there's not a better-dressed
gorilla in town.
Mrs. Howell's right.
On the bottom, he's red and black fox.
On the top, he's beaver and mink.
When you put me together,
I'll be a red back flox beaver-blink.
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Now, look
hrah! Hrah!
[Screeching]
Hrah!
If I may offer a sugg
shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
Gilligan, are they in there?
Tongo's there, and the gorilla's there,
but I don't know what I'm doing here.
Gilligan, our getting off the island
depends entirely upon you!
Right. All you have to do
is attract the gorilla away from ton go.
Then what do you do?
Then we'll rescue ton go.
Who'll rescue me?
Stop worrying.
Now start acting like an ape.
[Grunting]
Hrah!
[Calling]
Come on, professor!
That gorilla'll kill him!
Tongo!
Tongo, you can come out now.
Uhh! Uhh!
Oh, you can forget about the uhh! Uhh!
We found the tape recorder.
Oh, well, look, ha!
I can explain all that. You see
never mind that. You can rescue us.
It's a marvelous time to be rescued.
Just before the beginning
of the opera season!
Tongo: Oh! Don't let him take me!
No, don't!
Oh, but, ton go, that's
oh! Please! Please!
Keep him away from me!
Really, Mr. Kongo,
how can you be so rude?
Oh, that's gilligan!
Oh, take them! Don't take me!
You see, ton go, it's just me.
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
[Screeching]
Where could ton go have gone?
Maybe he's too embarrassed to face us.
I don't blame him, the way he's dressed.
Did you find him?
We didn't even find a trace of him.
We couldn't even find a trace of a trace.
[Helicopter hovers]
A helicopter!
It must be ton go!
He's coming to rescue us!
I wish he'd turn that fan off
before he ruins my hair!
Tongo! Hey, ton go!
I think he threw something down!
Uh-huh!
It's a note.
Oh, read it, professor. What does it say?
Gilligan, will you be quiet
so he can tell you?
Uhh "I'm sorry",
"but I can't take you back with me.
"If the story ever got out
"about the way I behaved with the gorilla,
it would ruin my career as the ape-man."
We won't tell anyone!
No! Come back!
[All shouting]
Oh, no!
We won't tell anyone!
Yeah! Come back!
Hey, somebody's been eating my fruit!
And somebody's been sitting in my chair!
Somebody's been
sleeping in my hammock,
and that somebody is still there!
It's ton go. He came back!
Hey, ton go
now this is the tale of our castaways ♪
they're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in a tropic island nest ♪
no phone No lights
no motorcars, not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from 7 stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪