Happy Days (1974) s03e23 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
And mine, Happy Days! ♪
Johnny kissed the teacher ♪
He's a bird ♪
He tiptoed up to reach her ♪He's a bird ♪
Happy Days is filmed before a live audience.
He's the teacher's pet now ♪
He's a dog ♪
What he wants he can get now ♪What a dog ♪
Boy, Malph, you really blew it, you know it?
Oh, don't tell me I blew it. You threw a lousy pass.
Lousy pass? You didn't even know the play. I know the play.
Yeah? I haven't seen you run it right once.
Oh, yeah, get someone to hike you the ball, I'll show you.
Where's Richie?
Hey, Fonz, where's Rich?
He's in the kitchen with Arnold.
What's he doing in there?
Exchanging recipes. What do I know what he's doing in there.
Hey, Fonz, would you like to bend over and hike us the ball?
Right, Fonz.
Why do you need a hike? Just throw it. Okay, okay.
Come on, clear the field. You're on the 50-yard line.
We got a game going on here, come on.
All right, do a down and out on two, okay, got it? Right.
Okay, ready hut, hut one, hut two
What's this?
This not my food.
Attention, everybody.
Arnold's got an announcement to make.
Arnold's will be closed next weekend.
You can't do that.
I have a date.
This is the only place where I can sit for nothing.
Yeah, Arnold, how come you're closing?
I'm closing because I'm getting married!
Congratulations.
Drinks on the house!
Uh, small sodas, please.
Hey, Arnold, who are you marrying?
I'm marrying a Japanese girl,
girl from Japan named Momo Okomoto.
Japan?
I thought you were Chinese.
Yeah, Chinese on my mother's side,
Japanese on my father's side, remember? Oh, yeah.
You see, the families got together
and arranged a wedding a long time ago.
An arranged wedding.
You mean you haven't even seen her?
Boy, I heard of blind dates
Well, they've been writing to each other for years,
and they exchanged pictures and fell in love.
Yeah.
Yeah, must be some hot letters.
You sent her your picture, huh?
Yeah, my cutest one.
She loved it.
She say I look like Clark Gable.
When is she coming?
Tonight.
She's staying at my house.
See, she can't stay with me till after the wedding.
What a quaint tradition.
Hey, are you going to throw a bachelor party, Arnold?
Yeah, this is it. Drink up.
Okay, here's to your wedding.
Okay.
I'm getting married.
I can't believe it.
You know who make it all possible? Who?
The Fonz.
Hey, don't blame me with your problems.
I not blaming you you big palooka.
Palooka?
Yeah, I'm thanking you.
See, I couldn't get married till my business was a success.
I mean, you bring the kids in,
you wreck my chicken stand on TV
You make me famous!
You're making me blush.
Listen, Fonzie, I got a big favor to ask of you.
Yeah.
I want you to be my best man.
Oh, yeah, no, I-I don't think so.
Thanks very much, but no thanks.
No? Why not?
Well, because I got something else to do, that's why.
I'm going on a long trip, is what I'm doing.
Oh, what, take a trip you can take a trip any time.
Arnold only get married once, I hope.
Yeah, Fonz, Arnold's right.
Yes, a big honor to be best man.
I know that, but, uh
Oh, come on, be a buddy, be a good paloo
Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, all right, I'll be your best man.
Just don't tweak me in the cheek anymore.
Okay. Thank you, Fonzie.
Boy, he make Arnold a happy man.
At least I think I'm happy.
What happen if Momo come here, she don't like me?
Oh, everybody loves Clark Gable.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Here come the bride ♪
Here come the groom ♪
After the wedding, we're sharing a room. ♪
I haven't seen Fonzie this sad
since Paula Petralunga became a nun.
I think I'm going to go talk to him about it.
Okay.
Hey, Fonz?
I noticed that, uh, you weren't too excited
about being Arnold's best man.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're a good noticer.
Well, why?
I mean, he's a good friend of yours, isn't he?
Hey, listen, it's got nothing to do with friendship.
It's got to do with the Fonzarelli Curse.
There's a Fonzarelli Curse, huh?
Yeah. That's right.
I've been asked to be best man twice in my life.
Two times a disaster.
Bernie Colletti, right?
He had a slugfest with his fiancée
in the vestibule of the church.
He wouldn't marry a chick that was tougher than him.
And then there was Tony Rico.
Remember Tony? Sure.
Yeah. So he drops his ring at the alter,
he bends over to pick it up,
she makes a pass at me, and that marriage was called
on account of wandering lips.
Wandering lips That's not funny.
No, I know that. I know that.
I mean, I don't want to be the cause
of another disaster, you know?
Yeah, but this is not a curse,
Fonz, it's just a coincidence.
Oh, yeah?
It's already cursed, it's already started, huh?
He's going to marry a chick named Mo-Mo.
It's not going to work.
Dear, hurry and wash up.
Arnold and his girl will be here soon.
Mm
Hey, Marion, what happened to our table?
Oh, that's our coffee table.
Oh, for a minute I thought I was growing.
Howard, this is how the Japanese eat.
Yeah, well, the Japanese also take baths together,
but that doesn't mean we have to.
We used to.
Yeah, but, uh, I was a lot slimmer in those days.
Mom, Dad, they're here. Oh.
Arnold's out there paying the cab,
and, uh, this is his fiancée.
These are my parents.
Momo.
Mama.
Terukazu.
Papa.
No, no, that's that's Terukazu.
That's Momo's chaperone.
Oh, I thought chaperones were supposed to be women.
You want to tell him?
Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham,
I want to thank you for your gracious hospitality.
Oh, thank you, Momo.
I'm sure you'll be very happy in America.
Joanie Oh No, dear.
Oh, come on, Momo.
I'll show you my room.
Uh, Terukazu?
Why don't you take the luggage upstairs?
Hey, Arnold. Oh, hi.
She's so beautiful. Lovely.
Aren't you happy? She's just great, Arnold.
You should be so excited. She's such a beautiful girl.
She's terrific. Really nice.
She hates me.
What?!
I knew it the minute she got off the plane.
I saw a "I hate Arnold" face.
The Fonzie Curse.
What's that?
No, no, nothing.
Come on, don't be ridiculous.
I mean, I was there, I didn't see anything like that.
You only see "I hate Richie" face.
I'm an expert on "I hate Arnold" face.
Come on, now, Arnold,
she wouldn't travel all this distance because she hates you.
She expected a successful American businessman
and she sees Arnold.
But you are successful.
Sure, but you tell a Japanese girl
"successful American businessman,"
and they think about Clark Gable like in the movies.
Well, we'll just have to show her
that successful businessmen don't look like Clark Gable.
Look at Howard, for instance.
You're cuter. Mm Look, Arnold,
why don't you take Momo down to your place tomorrow
and show her what a successful businessman you really are.
You really think I'm successful?
Well, sure, you have a nice business.
Yes, you're highly respected,
and you're part of the community.
I think you've done very well.
You're right. Huh.
I come to this country, I start with nothing.
Next week, I putting in a pizza oven.
Really? Yeah.
I show her I'm just as good as Clark Gable.
Maybe I grow a moustache.
Oh, I already got a moustache.
Hey, Arnold, she's here.
Oh, good. Listen, Richie,
you help me get rid of that chaperone a minute.
I want to be alone with Momo.
Oh, oh, right.
Uh, welcome.
Welcome to my, uh, humble but elegant
gourmet hamburger palace.
Uh, Clark Gable, who also has a moustache,
got one just like it.
Uh, come, sit.
Oh!
Say, uh, say, listen, Terukazu,
uh, how would you like to learn
how to play an American game, huh?
Why don't you come right over here.
Hey, guys, this is uh, Momo's chaperone.
We're going to teach him how to play pinball.
Yes. This is one of the most
popular restaurants in the city.
All the kids come to eat here.
Eat, spend money, drink soda, spend money.
They crazy about me.
American businessman.
Crazy about me.
Now!
We're just crazy about you.
Thank you.
They, uh, love my hamburgers.
You're very American, Arnold.
Oh, sure.
Last Armistice Day, I carried the flag in the parade.
Yeah, I mean I'm a regular Yankee Doodle Dandy.
I been to World Series, I got hit by a foul ball
Oh, don't cry.
It didn't hurt.
No, it's not that What? It's what?
Why is she crying?
How do I know? I just met her.
Momo I want to I think I
I'll call her on the phone.
Hey, Rich, what happened?
It's the Fonzarelli Curse.
Here she comes. Oh.
Well, bad news Momo called the wedding off.
See, I told you, I told you, that's it.
Well, I guess Arnold couldn't compete with Clark Gable.
Nobody can.
Aaayyh!
Well, almost nobody.
This has nothing to do with Clark Gable.
Momo noticed how Americanized Arnold is,
and she figured that since she is still very Japanese,
she would hold Arnold's career back.
Well, what did Arnold say about that?
That's the problem.
All he found out was that the marriage is off.
She was crying so hard, she hung up.
It's a shame. She really loves him.
So there's not going to be a wedding.
Yes, there's going to be a wedding.
Arthur is the best man,
and he's going to go and explain this to Arnold,
and then Arnold can talk to Momo.
Now, listen, listen,
I have caused enough trouble already, you know what I mean?
The only shot that those two
people have is if I stay out it.
The Fonzarelli Curse cannot be broken.
It's ridiculous to try.
That's it, that's all, and that's good-bye!
Fonzie, sit on it.
Everybody duck!
What did I just hear?
I think we should just all calm down, and
I'll handle this, Howard.
You heard what I said.
I understand about your curse and all that,
and I know you are the Fonz
with the "Hey" and the "Whoa,"
but you are the best man,
and you have an obligation as that best man,
and you cannot shirk your obligations.
Even the Fonz cannot stand in the way of true love,
and you have got to talk to Arnold,
if you get my drift,
and that's all, and that's it, and good-bye.
What guts.
I think I'm going to have to hit her.
No, you're not going to hit my wife.
Oh, yeah? Well, then I'll hit you.
You can't hit my dad.
All right, I'll hit you.
You can't hit my son.
Well, I gotta hit somebody.
You know where Potsie is?
Look, Fonzie
All right, all right. I know.
I'm going, I'm going, but I'm not going
because I just got yelled at,
and I'm not going because she thinks
she's right and I'm wrong.
I'm going because I'm a sweetheart of a guy!
La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
La-la-la, la-la-la, la ♪
You got him here, Arthur.
That's very nice.
Hey, don't try to make up.
All right, you ready?
Uh, uh, yeah.
How do you feel?
Okay, take your best shot.
Uh, Momo?
Uh, Fonzie tell me
why you don't want to marry me.
See, I didn't come to this country
to marry a American girl.
American girls are nice, but, uh, so is all America,
you know cheeseburgers, car washes, holidays,
Lincoln birthday, Washington,
Chinese New Year.
But, uh, I like the Oriental culture.
I was raised in it.
I like the Oriental ways.
I want Oriental wife, Oriental babies
Isn't that nice?
Just like a movie.
Momo, what is in your heart?
What is in your heart is in my heart, too.
You said it better than Clark Gable.
Hey, that was nice.
Yeah.
All right, listen, uh,
I now pronounce you fiancées. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah!
I better go with them
to make sure Terukazu doesn't sit on her.
Well, Fonzie, I guess
that's the end of your curse, huh?
Hey, they ain't married yet.
Don't worry The ceremony's tomorrow.
Yeah, that's right, Fonz.
You gotta get fitted in wedding outfit.
Uh Richie tell you where.
Boy, I so happy. I love her so much.
I'm going to put a new item on the menu.
I call it a Momoburger.
Fonz, this is where you can go to get your outfit.
Hey, that's cool. I look great in a tux.
A tux? No, no, it's not a tux. It's a kimono.
A kimono? Y-you mean, you mean,
one of those long, dre uh
Right, a kimono.
Yeah, well, then count me out.
See, I don't wear a dress.
And, uh, don't get whacko on me, Mrs. C.,
and tell me about my obligations again.
Fonzie, a lot of men in Japan wear kimonos.
Well, I mean, that's their business
if they want to wear a dress.
The Fonz don't dabble in female attire.
Well, Fonz, this isn't a dress.
Hey, let me put an end
to this discourse right now, huh?
One question Does it have a fly?
No.
I rest my case.
Oh, the place just looks lovely.
I've never been to an Oriental wedding.
Well, it's not just
an Oriental wedding, Mrs. Cunningham.
It's a little American and a little Oriental.
That's the way my Momo want it.
How you doing, Arnold?
You got the jitters?
No, no. We took the blood test. We fine.
Listen, uh, it's getting late.
Where's my best man?
Now, don't worry, Fonzie will be here.
Maybe he's caught in traffic or something.
Yes, the traffic was very heavy.
Oh, traffic never bother Fonzie.
He drive on the sidewalk.
Oh, I know he not coming.
No, no, he's coming.
He'll show up. He wouldn't let
a friend down. He'll be here.
Yeah, he better get here soon.
My Aunt Sumi get nervous.
Aunt Sumi?
Aunt Sumi is the family matriarch in this country.
See, I lose big face with her
if I have a wedding without my best man.
Aunt Sumi?
Uh, folks, this is Aunt Sumi.
Aunt Sumi, this is the Cunninghams.
Help me, Marion, please.
Oh, Howard, I can't take you anywhere.
Aunt Sumi Uh Aunt Sumi like to bow.
So does Howard.
I do not.
Listen, uh, I going to go mingle.
Oh! Mitsube Sakataka and Ling Tau Houng,
I want you to meet Bert and Estelle.
You know, I don't think Fonzie's going to show.
Did he say anything?
I haven't been able to find him all day.
I got Ralph out looking for him right now.
All right, we have to find a way
to stall a little longer. Right.
Look, can Potsie do anything else besides eat?
Yeah, he wrote a special song for the wedding.
Oh, boy.
Hey, I just tried a new Oriental delicacy.
Yeah. Hey, Pots, it's time for your song, okay?
Oh, great.
Attention, everybody. Attention.
Thank you.
Our very own Potsie Weber has written a special song
to commemorate Arnold and Momo's wedding,
and here he is.
A Japanese wedding song from Potsie to you ♪
One set of chopsticks made just for two ♪
Arnold is so happy, now he's getting flabby ♪
With sukiyaki every night made by his new wife ♪
Ah so, ah so, barefoot you will go ♪
Ah so, ah so, watch out for your toe ♪
Thank you, Potsie.
Hey, hey, don't worry It's an old custom.
They loved you.
Of course.
Yeah, look, go have some more lox.
Okay, Mr. C.
Listen Did you find Fonzie?
No, and I tried every place he could be.
I'm waiting out front for him.
I checked his apartment, the pool hall, the YWCA.
He's nowhere around.
He even broke a date with the Polaski twins
in front of the optometrist's store.
I don't understand where he could possi
You mean to tell me
that he took the Polaski twins to the optometrist?
Yeah, he likes to march them back and forth
in front of the window to drive the customers crazy.
He kills me.
I can't keep my guests waiting any longer.
We start the wedding without Fonzie.
Listen, everybody, we start the wedding.
Okay, Aunt Sumi, we start the wedding.
I get a new best man.
Uh, Ralph Malph, wonderful guy.
Ralphie, you going to be best man.
You gotta change your clothes.
Change my clothes?
Mrs. Cunningham, can I borrow your dress?
Go home and get your bathrobe.
My bathrobe? No, I'm going to try to rent a kimono.
Out of my way, I'm going to be the best man.
No, he's here. He's here.
The best man's here.
It's about time.
Boy, Fonzie, you look great.
You were almost late.
We were going to start without you.
Let me tell you something.
You're lucky I'm here in the first place.
I had to ride my bike over here sidesaddle.
He's plenty cool.
Ah, Fonzie is here.
Now I'm a happy man.
Momo's all ready.
What's going on?
We're ready.
Everyone take your places, please.
Oh, come on sweetheart.
Cunninghams over here.
Fonzie, come stand by me.
And Aunt Sumi between us.
Very good.
Ah Here. You got to read this.
What's this?
Oh, that's, uh, Momo and my welcome
to all our guests.
That's cool.
"On behalf of Arnold and Momo"
That's these two
"I would like to thank you for coming
"to witness this wedding.
"Now, there is a saying that marriages are made in heaven,
"and that might be so,
but most of this wedding was made in their hearts."
Hey, huh?
That's very nice.
Oh, here. You gotta read this, too.
Hey, wait a minute.
You're thanking them a lot here, aren't you?
Oh, that's in Japanese,
for my guests who don't understand English.
Hey, Arnie, I don't talk Japanese.
It's okay. Just read the words.
It's all written out.
It's tough being a sweetheart.
"Meva Suma, Kono Tobe, wah.
"Arnold toe Momo no,
"Tah may ne Ki tey, Kuba sabe
Koto oh ne, a rig a to, ga zai ma su." Huh? Huh?
Okay, let the ceremony begin.
Fonz, I guess there's no more curse, huh?
Hey, you talk to me about this robe,
I'll give you one long curse.
De Wa Ko Ko Ni Na Ta Ta Chi ca.
Fu Fu de a Ku Ko To O Sen Gen Ta she wa su.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
Oh, congratulations. Aw.
Thank you, thank you.
Arnold? Huh?
Where are you going to go for your honeymoon?
Oh, we're just going to go visit relatives.
Oh, you're going back to Tokyo?
No, Miami Beach.
I hope you weren't offended
when I got a little peeved at you
the other day.
Hey, that's all right, Mrs. C.
Everybody's got a temper tantrum once in a while.
You did a wonderful job, Arthur.
Shall we make up?
Hey, uh, does she yell at you like that often?
Mm-hmm, but we make up differently.
Hey, I get your drift.
Okay, for all my American guests,
a little American music.
Hit it, Teru.
I'll tell you something.
I'd like to dance with that chick over there.
Oh.
Yeah, she probably doesn't speak English.
What, are you kidding?
I'll use international language.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Good-bye gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪