Gilligan's Island (1964) s03e24 Episode Script

1
Pah pah la rah ♪
poop poop-a-doo ♪
ooh ♪
I wanna be loved by you ♪
by you and nobody else but you ♪
I wanna be loved by you ♪
alone ♪
poop poop-a-do ooh ♪
[whistling]
Oh, she's wonderful!
Isn't she just fantastic?!
Thank you.
Once again, maestro?
[Music plays]
I wanna be loved by you ♪
by you and nobody else but you ♪
Skipper, are you hungry?
No. Be quiet, will you?
Professor, are you hungry?
Shh!
Mrs. Howell, are you
hungry? Double shh!
Gilligan, please be quiet.
I wanna be kissed by you ♪
Gilligan, are you hungry?
Boy, am I hungry! I'm starvin'!
What would you like for dinner?
Oh, I'd like to have a steak
smothered in hamburgers
and an ice cream sundae
gilligan, please! I'll fix dinner
as soon as ginger's finished,
but be quiet now, huh?
Oh she's wonderful!
I'd give anything to be like ginger Grant.
A real movie star!
Than to fill a desire ♪
to make you my own ♪
pah pah la rah ♪
poop poop-a-do, ooh ♪
I wanna be loved by you ♪
by you, and nobody else but you ♪
I wanna be loved by you ♪
alone ♪
poop poop-a-do ooh! ♪
Oh, wonderful, ginger!
She's finished. Ok, gilligan,
ok. Oh, you're wonderful!
You're wonderful, ginger!
Ohh!
Hey, Mary Ann.
Mary Ann. Mary Ann, are you alright?
Mary Ann. Hey, Mary Ann.
Are you ok, Mary Ann?
[Speaking like ginger] I'm fine, but
Why did you call me Mary Ann?
Why did I call you Mary Ann?
Yes.
You're not Mary Ann?
[Ginger's voice] Gilligan,
are you feeling alright?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, don't you recognize me?
I'm ginger.
You're ginger?
Of course I'm ginger.
Just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship's aground
on the shore of this ♪
uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
Well, there's no evidence
of a concussion.
Everything seems to be perfectly normal.
[Ginger's voice] Why
shouldn't it? I feel fine.
Well, good. Then you won't
mind completing the examination.
But what's it for?
Just humor me.
Alright.
Who am I? The professor.
She's fine.
Who are they?
Gilligan and skipper.
She's ok.
And of course you know who you are.
I'm ginger.
She's sick.
What's happened to Mary Ann has a
very simple psychological explanation.
I mean, almost every girl
at some time in her life
wishes she were a famous actress.
But Mary Ann isn't wishing, professor.
She really thinks that she's me.
Well, ginger, the blow to her head
caused Mary Ann to assume the identity
of the only famous actress
she's ever known. You.
It's a lucky thing she didn't know Lassie.
But she can't be me because I'm me.
She's right. She is ginger.
Show him your driver's license.
Gilligan, would you be quiet?
Now, what can we do to help her?
Well, until I can come up with a
psychiatric approach to the problem,
we're gonna have to
to along with her fantasy.
You mean we're gonna still have
to pretend that Mary Ann is ginger?
Exactly. You see, as ginger,
Mary Ann will expect
to see a Mary Ann among us.
Well, where are we
going to find a Mary Ann?
Well, one of us will have to be Mary Ann.
Oh, no. I'm not gonna be Mary
Ann. I look terrible in pigtails.
Oh, not you, gilligan. Ginger's
the obvious one to be Mary Ann.
Me? Well, of course.
In a suitable wig and costume, why not?
Look, my dear, it's quite simple.
Ginger needs a wig
so she can be Mary Ann
because Mary Ann is ginger.
Thurston, have you been eating Brandy
peaches without the peaches again?
Let me explain, and follow after me.
Ginger isn't ginger anymore.
She's Mary Ann.
[Imitating] Ginger isn't ginger
anymore. She's Mary Ann.
And Mary Ann isn't Mary Ann
anymore because she's ginger.
And Mary Ann isn't Mary Ann
anymore because she's ginger.
By jove, I think she's got it!
And Mary Ann wants to
borrow a wig because she
oh, who is she, anyway?
Now, look, my little annuity,
please let me explain
one more time, darling!
Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Howell. Have
you found a wig for ginger yet?
No. I'm having a little difficulty
explaining it to Mrs. Howell.
Please! I understand
everything perfectly.
Ginger isn't ginger anymore
because Mary Ann isn't who she was
when ginger wasn't who
she is. Isn't that right, skipper?
Skipper? I'm your little
darling thurston-poo.
Please. We must find a wig for ginger.
Now, I've sent gilligan to find
Mary Ann and keep her busy.
It's extremely important that
Mary Ann doesn't see ginger
until ginger has had a chance
to assume Mary Ann's identity.
Is that Mary Ann one or Mary Ann 2?
It's getting so you can't tell
the players without a program.
[Ginger's voice] I need
someone to love me.
I need someone to kiss me.
I need someone to want me.
I need you!
I need to get outta here.
Gilligan, you're just in time.
I need you to help me
rehearse this scene.
Scene? Oh, yeah, I forgot
that you were ginger
no, never mind.
I don't know what
you're talking about, but
You will help me Won't you?
Yeah, sure, but after we're finished,
better have your eyes checked.
Oh, gilligan. Now, in this scene,
you play the part of Scott my boyfriend.
Scott is, uh, unfriendly and
won't have anything to do with me.
I like that.
But I'm friendly.
Oops.
Oh, please, Scott, don't go out tonight.
Stay here with me. We're all alone
and there's a fire Soft music.
You can have anything you want.
Even root beer?
Root beer?
Gilligan, read your lines.
Um
"When are you going to realize
"that I've got important things to do
"and you don't fit in my plans
baby"?
Oh, you don't mean it. You're my life.
When I'm with you,
my temperature rises.
Flames leap up around me.
Smoke fills the air.
I'm on fire.
You don't need me.
You need smoky the bear.
Oh, please, Scott, look at me!
Don't you know?
Don't you know?!
Ummhh!
I'm yours forever!
Oh, gilligan, where are you going?
We haven't finished the scene.
I have!
Oh!
Wait a minute, little buddy!
Where's the fire?
Back there in Mary gin gin Mary
whatever her name is.
Not so fast. You're not going anywhere.
I'm not?
No. Ginger isn't ready yet, so I want you
to march right back
and keep Mary Ann busy.
Oh, no. She wants to kiss
and hug and stuff like that.
But Mary Ann isn't herself!
You're telling me!
Now, look, if we want her to get well,
we've all gotta help her out. Right?
Right. We all gotta help
her out. You help her.
Gilligan. Now, I want you to get
right back there, and that's an order.
Please look at me.
Don't you know?
Don't you know?
Ok. Where were we?
Scott.
Well, it wasn't too bad,
considering the last hair I put a ribbon on
was the tail of my Polo pony Bruce.
I think you did a
remarkable job, Mr. Howell.
Mary Ann wears her hair exactly like that.
What do you think, professor?
Well, I'm not sure what it is, ginger,
but something about your
disguise isn't quite right.
I know what it is. It's her walk.
She doesn't she
doesn't walk like Mary Ann.
Mr. Howell is right. Mary Ann has
a much more casual stride, like this.
No, professor, not like that.
She puts her hand on her hip, like this.
No, no, you're both wrong.
She walks more like Like Bob hope.
Well, I I don't know who's right.
Could you try it again
so I could compare it?
Oh, uh Professor, uh
Uh I'm so sorry.
I really didn't know you were
rehearsing for the debutante cotillion.
Since I'm going to be Mary Ann,
I guess I'd better check on dinner.
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Uh, I may, uh, dress like Mary
Ann and walk like Mary Ann,
but I still cook like ginger
Grant. Sorry about that.
In that case, I don't think you'd better eat,
thurston, darling. I
remember the exact words
your stomach specialist said
avoid, uh, cholesterol, starches,
and lousy cooking.
Here she is! Here's ginger!
Here comes ginger.
Hi, ginger.
Hello, ginger.
Hi, everybody.
Is dinner ready yet? I'm starved.
Well, Mary Ann said that
dinner is just about ready to be served.
Mary Ann! Mary Ann! We're all here!
I hope you like what I've prepared.
What is it?
Yes, what is it, Mary Ann?
Something simple. Fish pie.
Fish pie?!
Hi, ginger.
Hi, Mary Ann.
What are you doing to my your dress?
Well, I've been trying them on.
You know, for some reason,
well, they're all much too big for me.
Oh, well. Maybe you've lost weight.
They're all stretched.
That's what it is.
It must be the tropical weather.
Oh! What are you
doing to my your dress?
I'm making it fit.
Oh
[Scissors clipping] Ohhh
There. That's more like it.
I'm going to cut all my
dresses down to fit
Even if it takes all night.
Ohhh
No!
Ohhh
You'd better put that wig back
on. Mary Ann might see you.
Oh, don't worry, gilligan.
She was up all night
cutting my dresses in
half. She's still asleep.
Ohhh
My dress It's all ruined.
[Gasps]
Oh I told you. I told you.
Ginger.
Ginger.
I'm afraid she's in a traumatic shock.
Skipper.
You know, when she saw
the girl she thought she was,
I'm afraid it was more
than her mind could accept.
Isn't there something you can do?
Well, I've read where hypnosis
has been used in cases like this,
but in her present condition,
I'm afraid it might not work.
We can't leave her like this.
You're right. I'll have to try it.
I'll leave you two alone.
Ginger.
Ginger!
Gilligan. The professor
says that Mary Ann's in shock.
He's gonna have to try
and hypnotize her.
Hypnotize her? Oh, boy!
Here comes ginger. We'd better
tell her to stay away from here
so the professor can work
with Mary Ann. Come on.
Ginger?
Ginger!
[Whining] Ohhh
Oh, professor, I'm so confused.
I saw myself.
Ginger, everything is alright.
Everything is going to be alright.
I saw gilligan and me
hanging up the wash.
Ginger, sometimes the
glare from the tropical sun
can play tricks with what we see.
Now, I'm sure it was all
in your imagination.
And I think I can help you with hypnosis.
Hypnosis?
Yes. Now, you just watch
this shiny object.
Just relax.
Watch.
Watch it swing.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
You're getting very drowsy.
Your eyelids are getting heavy.
You can hardly keep them open.
You're going into a deep
Deep
Deep
Sleep.
It's been some day.
I'm going back to the hut and rest.
Gilligan and I wanted
to tell you not to go to
gilligan?
I bet he's over at the hut right now,
annoying the professor.
Wait'll I get my hands on him.
You're in a deep, sound sleep
A very relaxing sleep.
Now, when I awaken you,
I'm going to say the name "Mary Ann."
And when you hear
the name "Mary Ann,"
you are going to become Mary Ann.
Now, I want you to repeat after me
"When I hear the name Mary Ann"
When I hear the name "Mary Ann"
When I hear the name "Mary Ann"
"I will become Mary Ann."
I will become Mary Ann.
I will become Mary Ann.
Excellent.
Now I'm going to awaken you.
When I snap my fingers,
you will become wide awake.
Skipper: Gilligan.
Stay away from that window,
or you'll bother the professor.
But, skipper
no buts. Now, come on.
Well, now How do you feel?
Alright I guess.
Fine. Now, suppose you and I discuss
Mary Ann.
[Ginger's voice] Forget about
Mary Ann. What about me?
Why did I see another ginger?
Row, row your sub
gently down the tub ♪s
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪
life is but a dream ♪
row, row, row your sub ♪
gilligan, what's this? Taking a
bath in the middle of the day?
Skipper, did you see the big
mud puddle behind the hut?
Yes.
I didn't.
Would you hand me that brush, please?
Yeah, certainly. I just came by to tell you
I saw the professor, and, well,
the hypnotism didn't work at all.
Poor Mary Ann.
[Gasps]
What's wrong? All I said
was, "poor Mary Ann."
[Mary Ann's voice] Aah!
How dare you come in here
when a lady's taking a bath?
A lady taking a bath?! Are you nuts?
Get out of here, you
peeping Tom! Out! Out!
Gilligan, what's wrong with you?!
"Gilligan"? What's wrong with you?
I'm Mary Ann!
Get out! Get out!
Oh now gilligan thinks he's Mary Ann.
Oh, brother!
Ohhh
Good heavens. The
skipper's soaked to the skin.
There isn't a rain cloud in the sky.
Maybe it's raining inside the hut.
Mary Ann still thinks she's
ginger, and now gilligan
thinks he's Mary Ann!
I've got to talk to the professor.
Did I hear correctly?
Gilligan is Mary Ann?
I thought, uh, ginger was Mary Ann.
We've got 3 Mary anns, and we're
fresh out of gilligans and gingers.
Row, row, row your boat ♪
That's strange. There's
the skippers duffel bag
and the boys' clothes.
What are they doing
here in the girls' hut?
[Gasps]
I'm in the boys' hut by mistake!
I gotta get out of here!
Oh, goodness gracious!
Now, let me see if
I have it right, thurston.
Uh, Mary Ann is gilligan.
Uh, no, ginger is Mary Ann because
will you be silent,
lovey? I just want to have
a small, quiet nervous breakdown. Yahh!
[Mary Ann's voice] Oh, excuse me.
I didn't know anybody
was up. Excuse me.
Gilligan?!
Mary Ann?!
Whoever you are
Whatever you are.
Safe at last!
Ginger, what are you
doing in my clothes?
I'm filing my nails.
Ohh! Gilligan, what are
you doing with that towel on?
Get out of here! Go on!
Get out!
That's the only explanation, skipper.
Gilligan must've gone under
while I was hypnotizing Mary Ann.
Well, you've gotta make him
snap out of it, professor,
or I gotta get a new roommate.
Well, if you're looking for gilligan
or Mary Ann, whoever that skinny one is,
you'll find him or her in the girls' hut.
Or perhaps now it's the boys' hut.
It's a good point, lovey.
Come on, professor.
For the last time, are you going
to come out of there, gilligan?
Why do you keep calling me gilligan
and why do you have my clothes on?
Professor: Ginger.
Oh, professor.
Come on. No!
Gilligan!
Just listen to me.
I want you to relax.
I want you to relax.
Now, just relax, Mary Ann.
He's Mary Ann?
What's happening to everyone?
I'll explain it later, Mary Ann.
Well, I'm ginger I think.
Just watch the little ball,
and you'll fall into a deep, sound sleep.
I don't want to watch the little ball.
I don't want to watch the
little ball. I don't want to go to
You are not Mary Ann.
You are gilligan.
You are not Mary Ann.
You are gilligan.
Boy, am I hungry. Let's
go get something to eat. Oh.
Ginger?
Ginger.
I've got it. I've got it!
I believe I've found a plan
to help Mary Ann regain her identity.
Wouldn't it be better if she
went back to being herself?
What's your idea?
We'll ask Mary Ann to put
on a show for us tonight.
A show? Why, sure.
As ginger, she'll want to perform,
but underneath, as Mary
Ann, she'll know she can't.
Oh, I'm beginning to see the light.
Yeah, me, too!
It's still dark where I am.
Alright, gilligan, I'll explain it.
Now, Mary Ann won't be
able to perform as ginger,
and this will create a
tremendous conflict in her mind.
And I'm sure the real world of Mary Ann
will push out the dream world of ginger,
and Mary Ann will
become Mary Ann again.
Boy, professor, I sure
wish I had your brains.
If you did, the professor'd have
an awful big hole in his head.
Yes.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and I want to welcome you to a truly,
I think a truly great,
great show here tonight.
I'd like to introduce at this time
one of the outstanding
personalities of the cinema,
the stage, the recording medium,
you name it, and she's got it
Here she is, a fine,
young star in her own right,
the one and only, america's sweetheart
miss ginger Grant.
[Music plays]
I want to be loved by you ♪
[off key] by you, and
nobody else but you ♪
I want to be loved by you ♪
alone ♪
poop poop bee doo ♪
[off key] I want to be kissed by you ♪
[getting worse] by you ♪
and nobody else but you ♪
I want to be kissed by you ♪
alone ♪
poop poop bee doo ♪
I couldn't asp ♪
I seem to have forgotten the words. Uh
Maestro, would you start
the record again, please?
Yes. Anything you say, ginger.
[Music plays]
I want to be kissed by you ♪
[off key] by you ♪
and nobody else but you ♪
I want to be kissed by you ♪
[wildly off key] alone ♪
poop poop bee doo ♪
I don't know what's the matter with me.
Um maybe if I just
dance it, I'll be alright.
Hey. Here. Let me help you up.
Are you alright?
Come on.
Watch the steps.
Are you alright, ginger?
Gilligan, I'm not ginger. I'm Mary Ann.
What was I doing up there on the stage?
Did you hear that?
Mary Ann wants to know
what she was doing on the stage.
Yes! Mary Ann wants
to! Oh, that's wonderful!
I could kiss her, and I think I will.
Is that the old Mary Ann who wants
to know what the new ginger was doing
or the new ginger who wants to
know what the old Mary Ann was doing?
Well, I guess we're back to the
old Mary Ann and the old ginger.
Oh, and I was just getting
used to it the other way.
Professor. What, dear?
Look at ginger. Something
must be the matter with her.
She's wearing my clothes.
She must think she's me.
[All laughing]
Hi, Mary Ann.
Uh, ginger, I know miniskirts
are the latest style back home,
but that's ridiculous.
Well, ridiculous or not, it's all I've got left
since you went wild with the scissors.
Besides, I think it's catching on.
Catching on?
Mm-hmm. Have you seen gilligan?
No.
Gilligan!
Hi, Mary Ann.
Well, I figured if ginger
can wear a miniskirt,
I can wear minipants.
They're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in the tropic island nest ♪
no phone No lights
no motorcars, not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from 7 stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪