Gilligan's Island (1964) s03e25 Episode Script

1
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Say, I'll bet he's in
one of these caves around here.
Gilligan, are you in there?
[Echo] Gilligan, are you in there?
Can you hear me, little buddy?
[Echo] Can you hear me, little buddy?
Gilligan, you missed your breakfast.
Gilligan: I'll be right there.
Hey, look at what I found.
Never mind what you found, gilligan.
We've been looking for you
all over the island.
What for? I'm in here.
I can't believe it.
Why, these drawings are
prehistoric hieroglyphics.
Gilligan, do you realize
what you've done?
I didn't do it. Honest. I
can't even pronounce it.
You may have discovered
a way to get us off the island.
A little to your right there, skipper.
That's it. Come on, professor.
Watch your head, skipper.
Just keep coming that way.
Oof!
A little to your right, professor,
otherwise we'll trip over our instructions.
Let's let's put it down a minute, skipper.
Thank you, gilli ahh!
Professor, I just don't understand.
Is this really a way off the island?
Skipper, I happen to know a little
something about hieroglyphics.
Why, I spent 2 years with an
archeological expedition in Egypt.
Now, this circle with a fish
around it means "island."
And these figures represent
people leaving the island.
Of course, this is just a
section of a much larger tablet.
This area over here is too faint to read.
Perhaps some water
would wash the dirt away
and make it a little more legible.
And easier to read.
Yeah.
Would you go get the
professor some water?
Aye, aye, sir.
Skipper, we've got to search
all the caves in this area.
If the rest of this tablet exists,
we've gotta find it.
Oh, professor, believe me.
If this means rescue,
I'll go through all these caves
around here on my hands and knees!
Just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship's aground
on the shore of this ♪
uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
Uhh! Gilligan, I told you to follow me.
Skipper.
What is it?
I'm stuck.
I told you to follow me, didn't I?
Will you cut that out?
[Blows] Tic-tac-toe?
I played that game last week
when I was exploring the caves.
You played tic-tac-toe by yourself?
One day, I won 4 out of 5.
Would you hold this?
Oh, professor, we just
heard the good news
that we're gonna get off the island.
Yes, yes! Where's the ship?
We don't have a ship.
Oh, ever better, a plane!
There is no plane, Mr. Howell.
No plane, no ship, then
how are we gonna get home?
This tablet.
Oh, well, do you think it's
big enough for all of us?
Oh, no, no. You see, this tablet
contains the secret to
getting off the island.
Oh, secrets, secrets! I just love secrets!
Yes. If there's one thing
I love to tell, it's a secret.
I'm trying to figure out
these hieroglyphics,
but several pieces of the tablet
are still missing in the caves.
Perhaps you'd like to go search for them.
Oh, could we, thurston? It'd be such fun.
Yes. We can pretend we're
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
Can I be Dr. Watson this time?
Well, ever since medicare
came in, I don't give a darn.
Professor, hope I don't offend
you with my political views.
Professor. Professor.
Ooh, careful, gilligan.
We got another piece
just like the first one
with the same kind of markings on it.
Marvelous. Now be very careful.
What do you make of it?
Well, I'm sure it's part
of the same tablet. Look.
The same type of drawings.
They didn't draw very well, did they?
Oh, gilligan, these aren't really drawings.
This is the way cavemen
talked to each other.
What a crazy alphabet.
This is so exciting, I kind
of hate to stop for lunch.
Well, we don't have to.
Gilligan, why don't you
go get us some lunch?
Yeah, sure. What do you want,
coconuts, pineapple, and bananas
or bananas, coconuts, and pineapple?
Well, I think bananas, coconuts oh,
would you get going and get some lunch?
I'm afraid the water
didn't clean it very well.
But how are you gonna
read the messages?
Well, I've started ginger and
Mary Ann making an acid solution.
The acid should be able to eat
through the dirt that's filled in the lines.
Oh, professor, if I had
a brain like yours
I guess I'd be a professor.
I hope we did everything right, Mary Ann.
I hope so, too. I never
cooked a pot of acid before.
Me neither.
It says simmer for a few
minutes in a stone pot.
Well, let's see if it's ready.
It's ready.
Let's go tell 'em.
Hey, ginger? Mary Ann?
I have to bring back the lunch.
Oh, soup.
It's certainly missing something.
Stop! Gilligan, put that down!
What are you doing?
Oh, I was gonna taste your soup, but
Boy, you girls sure do make strong soup.
Gilligan, that's not soup. That's acid.
Are you lucky we got back in time.
What's the matter? You look funny.
I was just thinking how close I
came to having permanent heartburn.
Can you imagine, people
actually lived in caves like this?
Where were the servants' quarters?
There were no servants.
They did their own work.
Ooh, how dreadful.
Yeah. Explains the decline and
fall of the Roman empire, believe me.
Lovey, either this damp
cave air has made you grow
or made me shrink.
Thurston, look. I'm standing on a tablet!
Ohh! Ohh!
Yes, it's definitely
a part of the same tablet.
Well, that acid is sure
working, professor.
You know, skipper,
I think that piece there
would fit right in this piece here.
Well, I think you're
right, gilligan. Let's try it.
Would you help us out here, Mr. Howell?
Yes, I'll give you a hand. There.
Push it over there. That's it.
I've always been good at puzzles.
In kindergarten, I got an "a" in Jigsaw.
This is so exciting. Let me try.
I once put together a puzzle
that had 800 pieces.
And I only used 500 of them.
Now, let me see.
That goes there.
That goes here? We'll try it out here.
No. It doesn't fit, Mrs. Howell.
Oh, pooh.
Wait a minute, this piece right,
if we just move this
here, give me a hand.
Over here. It'll just fit in like that.
No. That's wrong, too, Mr. Howell.
A ho well is never wrong.
Break off a piece and make it fit.
Please, Mr. Howell, these pieces
have got to fit together exactly,
like a Jigsaw.
I think we're missing
maybe a jig or a saw.
Well, that's a rather
unique way of phrasing it,
but I think gilligan is right.
Several pieces of the
tablet are still missing.
You know, ginger,
the professor said the people
who carved those tablets
actually lived in these caves.
Ooh, glad I'm not a cave woman.
Oh, me either, especially
the way the men used to
grab the women by the hair
and drag them along
on the ground on their
Yeah. Probably how they
invented the bustle.
[Chittering]
Aah! Aah!
[Both screaming]
It's gone.
Oh, thank goodness.
Ginger. Look at this rock!
It's part of the tablet!
Oh!
Ohh!
Thank you, bat, wherever you are.
It all makes sense now.
I'm convinced this tablet
shows the route to some nearby island.
Now, here in the center
is the main message.
People in a boat.
And here is a remarkable
drawing of our lagoon.
Look at that monster in the lagoon.
Gilligan, that's a mosquito on the tablet.
I'll get it, skipper.
Gilligan! You'll break the tablet.
Why don't you go get us
some nice, fresh fruit?
Ok. Do you want coconuts,
bananas, and pineapple, or pineap
get the fresh fruit.
Now, professor, back to the map.
Where exactly is the financial district?
Well, this isn't exactly a map, Mr. Howell,
but it may be the key to our rescue.
Now, the trail leaves the lagoon.
It crosses here.
That part must be under construction.
It picks up again here
and leads to a nearby
island with many people.
Now, we've go to find
the part that fits here.
And the legend of the missing part
will show us how to get off the island.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Here's the fruit.
Now, we must all remember
that the missing part
may not be in one piece.
It may be in several pieces.
But if it were in one piece,
it would be about the size of this tray.
It would have the same color and
consistency of the rest of the tablet,
which is just about like this.
Well, if you didn't want the fruit,
why'd you send me to go get it?
Now, I suggest that we all spread
all: Gilligan!
Gilligan! You!
It's just like you people.
You take something away,
and you want it right back.
Gilligan, you found the missing piece.
This? I've been carrying this
around for months on the island,
and it's the missing piece?!
You know, this tablet could
be a million years old.
It doesn't look a day over a thousand.
Don't keep me in suspense
any longer, professor.
Is it going to get us off the island?
I'm sure it will, ginger.
Ah, the missing pieces
were the key to leaving the island,
just as I suspected. Now, look here.
This half sun, indicating a half day,
tells the amount of time it will take
to get into a position
where the ocean currents
can pick you up and take you
to a big island.
Skipper: Big island?
Big island? You know what
that means. That means Hawaii!
I love Hawaii! Hawaii!
That's right! Absolutely!
Reserve me a stateroom on the raft.
Well, I'm afraid it's rather difficult
for all of us to make the
trip on the raft, Mr. Howell.
So I suggest gilligan
and the skipper start out
and then send a ship back for us.
Where is gilligan?
Well, I think he thinks we're still
mad at him for dropping that tablet.
Oh, I'll go find him.
Gilligan: You don't have to, Mary Ann.
I heard every word.
Here whoa!
Ooh, whoa!
Gilligan!
Oh, are you alright?
Are you alright, little buddy?
Oh, yeah.
I'm fine.
Luckily, I landed on my head.
It was a nasty fall out of that tree.
Are you sure you're alright?
Yeah. I sure saw hot dogs.
You mean stars.
No. I saw hot dogs.
Gilligan, that's ridiculous.
When a person bumps
their head, they see stars.
When I bump my head, I see stars.
Now, what is it you see
when you bump your head?
Stars, but they're shaped like hot dogs.
Go to bed.
Once we get that tablet fixed,
we're gonna be leaving the island,
and we gotta have a goodnight's sleep.
Oh, little buddy,
I guess that bump was
harder than you thought.
Why don't we switch bunks?
Thanks, skipper.
You're welcome.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, skipper.
[Skipper grunts]
Skipper!
What is it?
Maybe I ought to get in my own bunk.
I'm kinda used to it.
Sure, gilligan.
[Grunts]
Here, let me help you.
Skipper, I'm kinda afraid to
go out in that raft tomorrow.
We don't know what might happen.
Well, I know one thing that'll happen.
If you don't get to bed,
you're gonna be asleep,
and we will leave without you.
Now, get in the sack.
There. Goodnight, little buddy.
Goodnight, skipper.
You know, skipper,
the professor said that
a million years ago,
the chief of the cavemen tried
to keep his people from leaving.
He said other places were bad and evil.
Did you know that?
I know that you're keeping me awake.
Now go to sleep, gilligan.
That caveman that carved that tablet,
he sure must've been brave.
Not half as brave as you are.
Now go to sleep!
Please!
Yeah, must've been fun
to live a million years ago.
Caves and cave people
You gotta be brave.
You gotta
Caves and
Chief
Cave people
[Clanking]
[Clanking]
Mr. Howell: Gilligan!
Too late! Me see picture!
Customer say making picture bad! Rrff!
Gilligan say picture good.
No, no, no!
Picture evil place.
Other side of hill!
Next time gilligan make bad picture,
smash gilligan to pieces.
Ah-di-di-di-bee!
Ah-di-di-di-bee!
Gilligan alright?
No hurt. Chief angry
'cause gilligan make picture.
Oh, not look at picture.
Chief ho well say
not look at evil place on other side of hill.
No true. No evil.
No. We not go. Skipper afraid.
We starve on way.
Maybe carry food. Maybe clothes.
How we carry all these things?
Professor invent wheel.
Professor say most important
invention take on trip.
Professor wrong.
Skipper know most important
invention take on trip.
Women!
I go professor now. I go get wheel.
I get women.
No matter what skipper say,
ginger and Mary Ann stay here.
And skin stay here.
Why skipper need so many skins?
Is very cold on other side of hill.
Gilligan say they have thing called snow.
What is snow?
Is white, lumpy rain.
We don't need rain. We need husbands.
Men on this side of hill run too fast.
Easy for man to slip on snow.
What?
Easy to catch man running in snow.
Man run, slip on snow,
girls catch husband.
Ooh, other side of hill
sound very good to Mary Ann.
Sound good to ginger.
We like snow.
We need husbands.
Wheel work?
Uh, not know yet.
Have not tried new wheel.
Other wheels work?
Ah, other wheels not work.
What wheel should do?
Wheel should turn around.
How professor know?
Oh, one time professor see tree.
Big storm come.
Tree fall.
Turn round and round. Roll away.
Give professor idea for wheel.
Ready to try.
Gilligan help.
[Club bounces]
What do now?
Try to make go.
Ooh!
No. Wheel not work.
Oh.
Unh!
Skipper get girls to go.
Gilligan get professor to go.
Chief got you. Nobody go!
Grrr!
How long chief ho well keep us in cave?
He say 100 years
or until we die,
whichever comes first.
Oh, without gilligan,
cannot find land of free
and home of brave.
Only gilligan understand picture.
This look like right way.
Oh, no.
Ginger forget.
World is flat.
Professor right.
Go wrong way, fall off edge.
Must get gilligan and skipper
away from chief ho well.
Ginger get gilligan and skipper away.
How?
Ginger know how.
Uh, ginger know how.
What ginger doing here?
Ginger go for walk.
Walk.
Ginger stop now.
Talk to chiefy whiefy.
Not come this close to chief.
Not come this close?
No. Closer.
Ooh.
What ginger do?
Ginger help us.
Gilligan think ginger help ginger.
Chiefy whiefy
no. No. No call chief chiefy whiefy.
Why?
Chiefy whiefy wifey get mad.
What ginger winger want?
Ginger winger want chiefy whiefy
to let friends out of jail.
No. Never would I do thing like that.
Maybe ginger winger
make chiefy whiefy change mind.
Nothing make chief change mind.
Nothing?
Well?
That not nothing.
That something.
Change mind.
Unh!
Aah!
Gilligan: Skipper, we go now.
We free.
[Roaring]
[Roaring]
[All screaming]
[Dinosaur roaring]
Dinosaur! Dinosaur!
Big dinosaur. Dinosaur! Dinosaur!
Dinosaur!
Dinosaur! Dinosaur!
Dinosaur.
What happened? What
is it? What is it, gilligan?
Skipper, I had a dream.
I dreamt we were all cave people.
You know where we lived?
In caves?
Yeah. You must've had the same dream.
We're all dressed up like cave
people, and we're trying to
look, gilligan, we haven't got time
to talk about your dream.
We're supposed to shove off to Hawaii.
I'm afraid it would all be a waste of time.
What would be a waste of time?
I'm afraid I made a terrible mistake.
You made a mistake?
Yes, you see, cuneiform,
which is the oldest form of writing,
was originated by the sumerians
and is read demotically.
However, I read the tablet
as though it were
a blue strophegon, you see?
Yeah, I see fine. I also hear pretty good.
But I don't understand
one word you said.
I've got to admit,
a couple of those words
went past me, too.
Well, basically, all
ancient forms of writing
are read from right to
left. I read from left to right.
So instead of telling us
how to leave the island,
the tablet tells us something
they consider much more important,
which is how to get here.
You mean the tablet tells
how to get on the island?
What's so tough about that?
We did it without even trying.
Yeah, w
I see.
Well, then in other words, professor,
you mean that the cave people
didn't get off the island either.
Exactly, skipper. They were
stuck here just the way we are.
Ah
[Clinking]
Gilligan, what are you doing?
Oh. I'm leaving a message here
for anybody who might be
shipwrecked in the next million years
in case they want to get off.
A message?
What message?
Home sweet home.
They're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in their tropic island nest ♪
no phone No lights
no motorcars, not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from 7 stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪