Gilligan's Island (1964) s03e29 Episode Script

1
Just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship's aground
on the shore of this ♪
uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor, and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Knock on door]
Yes. Who's there?
Man: Hartley.
Come in.
Mr. Hartley.
Hello, Parsons.
Parsons, this is agent Michaels.
Michaels.
Agent Michaels has been
assigned to operation orchid.
Ahem.
Can you fill him in on these
new explosive thermoplastics?
Yes, sir.
Those are explosives?
Very powerful explosives.
This ashtray, for example
but better yet, let me show you.
The explosion you just saw
was accomplished
by one of our secret agents.
He blew up his objective with an ashtray,
an exact duplicate of this one here.
Well, I'd hate to put a
cigarette out in this ashtray.
Heat would not have exploded it,
only impact.
Let me show you something.
In its original form, this plastic
can be stretched, pounded,
molded, anything, and it won't explode,
but once it hardens, it becomes
a very powerful explosive.
This glass could be used as a glass.
You could drink from it, wash it.
Just don't drop it.
Any impact will cause it to explode.
Amazing.
And how much of this
plastic is available?
Only about 50 pounds.
There was another 25-pound container,
but it washed overboard
during a storm at sea.
You're sure it didn't
fall into enemy hands?
Positive. It was lost in the pacific,
hundreds of miles from the nearest land.
Look.
This looks like we found
something real good this time, huh?
[Monkey chattering]
Guess what I found.
I know what you found.
How do you know?
I don't even know yet.
You found a way out
of helping me fix the hut.
No. I found this in the lagoon.
It might be something important.
Oh, I'm sure it is.
I'm sure it's real important.
Like last week, you
found a box of old clothes
that was rejected by the salvation army.
And then the week before that,
you found 16 decks of playing cards
with all the numbers washed
off 'em. Real important stuff.
I tell you, whatever it is, gilligan, it's junk.
But you haven't even looked yet.
I don't have to look at it.
I tell you, it's junk.
Why, it's a synthetic resin,
phenylformaldehyde.
Does that mean it's junk?
Far from it.
It's a type of plastic that can
be molded into many things
everyday things like combs, buttons,
costume jewelry, test tubes
Useful things, such as vacuum
tubes used to preserve food.
All it has to do is dry until it hardens.
You also can make rabbits.
What? See?
Oh, yes. You can make rabbits.
Where are you going?
To tell the others. I have a feeling
this little rabbit will bring us luck.
Hippity-hop! Hippity-hop! Ow!
Mr. Howell, would you
pass the papaya, please?
The papaya.
Gilligan, you had breakfast.
Then, I'll have lunch.
But this is breakfast.
I'll take it.
Gilligan's been working up an appetite
collecting more junk.
It's not junk. It's this.
Professor says some kind
of special plastic.
You make all kinds of things out of it,
like I made this bunny rabbit.
You'd make a bunny
rabbit, wouldn't you?
You and your harebrained schemes.
But they make dishes out of plastic.
We won't have to eat off
of wooden plates anymore.
Sure, and they make costume jewelry
Bracelets, brooches,
bangles, and beads.
Mr. Howell: Dishes and jewelry?
I wonder if it can be used
for something really vital?
Like what?
Golf balls.
Humiliating playing without a caddy,
but good to be on the links once again.
Oh, thurston, isn't this marvelous?
My very first game of golf.
And with a brand-new plastic golf ball.
Lovey, my dear,
pretty soon you'll have
the unforgettable thrill
of knocking a golf ball boom!
Right down the fairway.
Now, the first thing you
use, my dear, is your driver.
My driver? Don't be silly, darling.
You know perfectly well
my chauffeur is back home.
I believe his name
was Charles, wasn't it?
No, darling. I'm talking about clubs.
Of course. He drove us
to all the very best clubs.
It's alright. Here you are.
Sorry I even brought it up.
There you are. There's the driver.
Now, the first thing
you do is get a good grip,
and then you address the ball.
Hello, ball.
Bring it back, and don't forget
you have a brand-new
plastic ball to aim at.
There you go.
Oh, well.
I have 2 more strikes anyway, don't I?
No, my dear. That's baseball.
Stand over there and watch me.
Watch me very, very closely.
I'm gonna hit this little ball so hard.
Thurston!
[Grunts]
Isn't that gilligan's little friend?
Oh, maybe he wants to play, too.
No. He's not a member of the club.
Now get away, shoo, off the premises.
He stole the ball. Come
back with that ball, you scamp!
[Screeching]
Darling, it's only a little golf ball.
It's the only one we have.
The others haven't even hardened yet.
Oh, thurston, I think golf
is such a marvelous game.
How would you know?
We're not even off the first tee.
Well, never mind. We'll try again at 4:00.
4:00?
Well, isn't that the right time for tea?
That's odd
thunder, and not a cloud in the sky.
Well, you know what
they say about thunder.
What do they say?
Oh, I don't know,
but I thought perhaps you did.
Ginger, look, I think
I've got the hang of it.
Terrific. Oh, I wish I
could do things like this,
but I don't have any skills,
just beauty.
Wait till you see the jewelry I made.
It'll make you look even prettier.
Oh. It's not quite dry yet.
How does it look?
Hey, great.
Wait till you wear it.
It'll knock your eyes out.
Hi, ginger. Hi.
Hi, Mary Ann. Hi, gilligan.
Oh. Gee, those are nice-looking plates.
What's that?
That is a cup.
Looks like it has mumps.
Oh.
Be careful, gilligan. You'll break them.
Oh, no. If there's one
thing I'm really good at,
it's juggling. Here, watch this now.
Okay, give me the plate.
Come on, give me the plate.
[Hisses]
Don't be mad at me.
Now, give me the plate.
[Screeches]
I don't know what
that means in monkey talk,
but it's very impolite in people talk.
Don't worry! I'll get it back!
[Screeches]
[Imitates monkey]
[Hoots]
You don't like it when somebody
else does it to you, do you?
Thanks a lot for
these plastic nails, professor.
I don't think they're hard
enough to go through wood,
but I'm sure you can nail
palm fronds with them.
I'll try them out right now.
Skipper?
Help me get this plate
away from him, huh?
[Hoots]
Will you get it yourself, gilligan?
I want to try out these new nails.
But, skipper
oh!
There's another hole
I have to fix in the hut.
It's the new plate that Mary Ann made.
Gilligan, why don't you try
to give him something he'll like better?
That way, you can get
the plate away from him.
Good idea. Yeah. Here.
I'll offer him a banana.
Here. See this nice banana?
Trade you the banana for the plate.
Look, it's really good.
I'll take a bite myself.
Ow!
Ooh!
Skipper, the bananas have pits in 'em.
Gilligan, bananas don't have pits.
Your head maybe, yes, but not bananas.
This one does. Look. Pits.
Gilligan, little buddy,
those aren't pits.
You lost 2 fillings.
What do you know?
Now I have 22% more cavities.
Oh, I'm so real sorry about that, gilligan.
Let's get the professor
to look at your teeth.
Where'd that monkey go with the plate?
What difference does that make?
I don't care if he makes a
flying saucer out of that plate.
Now, come on, gilligan.
Don't be afraid.
I wouldn't let anything happen to you.
You sure you won't?
I promise.
Good. Then, you sit there.
Gilligan, you're a very
fortunate young man.
Why, that plastic you found
will make excellent fillings for your teeth.
Isn't it too soft for fillings?
Why, it's soft now, but once it hardens,
you'll be able to chew your head off.
Come on. Open your
mouth like a good boy.
Start pedaling.
Imagine pedaling to drill your own teeth.
Gilligan, start pedaling.
Faster, faster. That's good.
You just keep pedaling
while I get your teeth
ready for the new fillings.
Open wide.
Fillings are all in,
and that didn't hurt one little bit, did it?
Yes, it did.
Your teeth hurt?
No, my legs.
I got Charley horses in both of them
from pedaling.
For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
for he's a jolly good fellow ♪
for he's a jolly good fellow ♪
which nobody can deny ♪
here, gilligan, your very first
serving on a brand-new dish.
Ginger: And thanks for the
beautiful jewelry, gilligan.
I feel like one of the Gabor sisters.
It was nice of you to paint my golf ball.
It makes it look so official.
Oh, and, gilligan, about my nails,
I really thank you for 'em.
I haven't got to use them yet,
but they'll come in real handy.
Ooh, gilligan's little friend
has come to join the party.
I think he's here after my golf ball.
[Hoots, screeches]
The golf ball, it exploded!
A golf ball doesn't explode.
It was just plastic.
Plastics don't explode.
But plastic explosives explode.
Ginger: My jewelry!
My golf ball!
My nails!
My dishes!
My teeth!
My goodness!
Well, professor?
Well, the fillings have hardened.
If I try to pull the teeth, they'll explode.
What happens if you drill?
They'll explode.
Some choice.
We'll have to figure some
other way to remove the fillings.
In the meantime, you've got
to be very careful.
Don't bite down on anything.
That's easy.
Don't even put your teeth together.
That's easy.
Don't trip or bump into anything.
That's impossible.
Just relax while I
think of some other way
to remove those fillings.
Okay, professor.
Don't trip or bump into anything, right?
Don't bite down hard.
Don't let my teeth come together.
Please, little buddy.
Now, be careful, won't you?
He'll be alright, skipper.
After all, I told him to be careful.
Professor, my little
buddy's a human time bomb.
You saying that is like telling a Turkey
to be careful before Thanksgiving.
I just wish he hadn't found that plastic.
That reminds me, have
you gotten rid of those nails?
Yes. I buried them somewhere
where nobody will ever find them.
Good.
Mary Ann, be careful.
Oh, I am. I'm being careful.
Be extra careful.
Otherwise, I'm going to
be the new Venus de Milo.
Now, hold still.
You'll get your ears pierced the hard way.
Ooh. I'm gonna go see the professor.
Maybe he thought of
a way to help gilligan.
Well, I'm going to go see gilligan.
I've prepared him some food.
He must be starved.
Careful what you give him.
The simplest meal could
mean a big blowout.
Mary Ann, I'm afraid to eat anything.
Mary Ann: Gilligan, you have
to eat to keep up your strength.
You won't have to chew though.
I chopped up everything very fine.
My hand's shaking so much,
what if it hits one of my fillings and
that's why I'm feeding you.
You don't have anything to worry about.
If I don't have anything to worry about,
how come you're feeding me
from way, way, way back there?
I don't want to take any chances.
Gilligan, open up.
Pretty good. What is it?
Well, I mashed up some Halibut,
some flounder, and some tuna.
Fish mash!
Gilligan, that's very funny.
You have a good head
on your shoulders.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
Lovey, I told you I got rid of the golf balls.
There's no need to worry.
But, thurston, when I think
of the danger we were in.
We came very near
golfing ourselves to death.
If it hadn't been for that
monkey taking the ball,
we'd have been killed.
Yes. You're so right. After we're rescued,
I must do something nice for him,
like buy him his own banana plantation.
I can think of something
he'd like more than that.
Buy him his very own organ grinder.
In this container is the
juice of the triganella Berry.
Now, this Berry juice
has a heavy aromatic scent,
comparable to a crude form of ether.
When I start the flow,
the anesthetic will
travel through this tube,
drop by drop
Until it reaches this cup,
which fits right over your nose.
Then I'll be able to pull both your teeth,
and you won't feel a thing.
That's great, professor.
And it would work, except for one thing.
What's that?
I'm getting out of here.
Gilligan,
if you want to get rid of the filling,
we have to pull out the teeth.
You can't go through life
with a mouthful of explosives.
Why not? I'm always
shooting off my mouth.
I promise you won't feel a thing.
Now, ginger, let's make
sure we have everything.
Towel.
Towel.
Cotton.
Cotton.
Pliers.
Pliers.
Pliers!
Gilligan, the pliers have been sanitized.
They've been cleaned,
they've been boiled,
and they've been scoured.
Could you do one more thing? What?
Lose 'em! Lose 'em!
Relax, gilligan.
Now, ginger, start the anesthetic.
Yes, sir.
The anesthetic has been turned on, sir.
Good. Now breathe deeply,
close your eyes,
and start counting.
By the time you've counted to 10,
you'll be fast asleep.
[Muffled] 1, 2
3, 4
Oh, that's very good, gilligan.
You'll be asleep before you know it.
Asleep in no time.
5, 6, 7
8, 9, 10.
Am I asleep yet, professor?
Professor?
Ginger, he
ginger?
11, 12
There, now that'll
keep you nice and warm.
I know why you're doing that, skipper
in case I get cold during the night
and my teeth chatter and I go bang!
You're not going to go bang.
Boom!
Not boom either.
[Imitates explosion]
Would you cut that out?
Now, nothing's gonna happen to you.
Get a goodnight's sleep,
and everything'll be okay.
A goodnight's sleep, and I'll blow up.
You know I grind my teeth when I sleep.
You don't have to worry
about that either, gilligan.
The professor fixed
this nice little mouthpiece
out of tree gum. Put it in your mouth,
and it'll keep your teeth
from coming together.
[Mumbles]
I can't understand you.
What did you say it was made of?
Gum.
Next time, ask professor
to make it tutti-frutti.
Tutti-frutti, yes.
Would you put that
in your mouth and go to sleep?
A goodnight's sleep,
and everything'll be okay.
[Mumbles]
[Snoring]
[Bubble pops]
[Screeches]
Skipper! Skipper!
Oh, skipper, I've done it!
I've blown my head off!
Eww, what a mess!
Oh, skipper, don't look!
Don't look! It must not look too nice.
Gilligan, you're alright! You're alright!
Now, stop thrashing around,
or you will explode!
I did explode! I did explode!
What a minute. How can I
I didn't explode. I can hear you.
If I blew my head off,
I wouldn't have my ears.
So, then, I didn't explode.
What was that explosion?
There wasn't any explosion.
[Hoots]
Aah! Aah!
That was an explosion.
Gilligan blew up!
Oh, poor gilligan. Oh!
Over here!
Nice catch, skipper.
He's alright!
Oh, look! The monkey!
Aah! Oh!
Crazy monkey.
Thurston, don't just stand there! Run!
A ho well never runs
in the face of danger.
[Boom] Oh!
He walks very fast.
[Boom]
[Screeches]
[Boom] Oh!
The rest of you, come here,
under the rock with lovey and I!
Ooh! Oh!
Oh, Mr. Howell.
Under the rock, that's right.
[Boom] Oh! Oh!
[Screeches]
Gilligan, get back here with lovey!
Over here! Over here!
Aah!
Lovey, take cover!
[All shouting]
Let me go first!
It's all my fault.
I'm gonna get the stuff away from him.
Gilligan, you can't go out there!
I've got to before he blows somebody up.
Skipper: You've got
explosives in your teeth.
[Screeches]
Got to get that monkey
off that roo roo
roof ah-choo!
[Screeches]
Oh, the little monkey, he's safe.
He's such a game little trouper.
What happened, professor?
It was your sneeze, gilligan.
My sneeze?
Yes, you sneezed so hard,
your fillings blew out and hit the ceiling.
Blew the monkey up in the
air and solved the problem.
What's wrong, gilligan?
Nobody said, "gesundheit."
Skipper: Gesundheit!
Ha ha! Little buddy, you're alright!
Alright, gilligan, stop pedaling now.
Both fillings are finished.
Professor, you're a genius.
Anyone who can melt
down a couple of pennies
and use 'em for fillings in
teeth is an absolute genius.
Thanks, professor, for
putting your 2 cents' worth in.
Very good, gilligan. Aah! Oh, look!
Ooh! Whoa!
[Monkey hoots]
Gilligan, would you please try to control
that monkey friend of yours?
That's one of our
very best plates he broke.
[Sighs]
Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪
they're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in their tropic island nest ♪
no phone, no light ♪
no motorcars, not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from 7 stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪