Hannah Montana s03e29 Episode Script

Oh, I'm sure gonna miss you, Blue Jeans.
Mwah! I swear, Miley Ray, I don't know how you people can go back to the smoggy, crowded California and leave the peace and serenity that is the great state of Tennessee.
Earl! Get a move on! Them hogs ain't gonna slop themselves! I'm comin', Pearl! Please take me with you.
All I need is a toothbrush and a pair of undershorts and I'm good for a month.
Uncle Earl, as much as we'd love to have you and your extra-strength undershorts I call them thundershorts.
Of course you do, Uncle Earl.
I need someone here to take care of Blue Jeans, someone that I know really loves him.
Aw, yeah.
I was just kiddin'.
- I'll take good care of him.
- Mwah! I always do.
All right, sweetie.
I'll leave you to say your goodbyes.
Ugh! Day fourteen's always the hardest.
Day one's no picnic, either.
- Who said that? - Who do you think said it? The one you're leaving behind again, that's who! - You can talk? - Don't change the subject.
There's another horse, isn't there? A Hollywood horse.
More razzle-dazzle.
No, there's no other horse, I swear.
Then why do you keep leavin' me, Mile? Don't leave me.
D-d-d-d-don't leave me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sor Blue Jeans? Miley, are you OK? Yeah, I'm fine.
I just had a bad dream.
OK.
Hey, if you wanna talk, I'll be right You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yeah when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E29 Miley Says Goodbye Part 1 I swear, the dream was so real.
He just kept saying, "I-I-I-I need you, Mile.
" And it sounds just like something Blue Jeans would say if he was missing me.
That's weird.
I always thought Blue Jeans would sound a whole lot more like Clint Eastwood.
Go ahead, punk.
Make my hay.
Wow.
Worst imitation ever.
Oh, you should hear his Spock.
It would be totally illogical for you to think I cannot hear you from this distance.
Nailed it! I'm gonna call Uncle Earl and check on Blue Jeans.
Hey, interloper.
College word.
Look it up.
- You're in my seat.
- Since when is it your seat? Why don't you feel underneath? Those are my boogies.
Eww! Son, I want that thing scraped and disinfected by tomorrow morning.
Dad, I've been sitting in this chair for five years.
I'd need a jackhammer and a blowtorch.
I can still feel it! It's under my nails! It's under my nails! OK.
I think I'm just gonna go out on the deck now, as I so often do, and pray for the strength to carry on.
Hey, Uncle Earl.
I just wanna see how Blue Jeans is doing.
Well, it's a funny thing you called, Mile.
He's been out of sorts ever since you left last week.
I can't even get him to eat this morning.
Come on, Blue Jeans.
This is good stuff.
Mmm, yeah, I'm sure it's real good.
Hey, that is good! Let me talk to him.
Let me step outside to give you two your privacy.
U-U-Uncle Earl.
Uncle Earl, you're gonna You're gonna have to hold the phone for the horse.
Oh, yeah.
I knew that.
All right, here you go.
Hey, Blue Jeans.
Listen, I really miss you, too.
But you've gotta eat for me, OK? Please? Well, jumpin' Johnny Cash, would you look at that? He's eating, Mile! Good boy.
I'm so proud of you.
Aw, thanks.
I do what I can.
Bye, Uncle Earl.
Thanks.
Bye, doll.
Are you gonna finish that? See? I knew that dream meant something.
Wow.
So your horse really was missing you.
Man, it's like you two have some sort of psychic connection.
Well, we grew up together.
He's like the brother I never had.
"Brother I never had.
" Miles, you gotta do it with me or I look kinda stupid.
OK, I'm sorry.
I was kind of tired.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
And BTW, you don't need my help to look stupid.
- Burn! - Burn! - Burn! - Burn! Ah, forget it.
It's not the same.
Miley, are you gonna finish your breakfast? Only thing I wanna finish is a good night's sleep.
One lousy phone call and now you think everything's all hunky-dory? Don't you get it, little girl? I need ya.
I also need an apple, but Earl ate that, too.
What are you looking at? This is a healthy alternative to this.
Miley, don't just lie there.
D-d-d-d Help me! Dad, I need a favor.
You want Blue Jeans out here.
Yeah, I miss him and he misses me and Earl keeps eating all his apples and I keep "p-p-b-bleavin' him" and Wait.
How'd you know? You've been mumbling "Blue Jeans" for the last 20 minutes in your sleep.
Any other conclusion would be totally illogical.
Nailed it again! Ha-ha! Hot today! - What happened? - Jackson! Bath tub! It was horrible! You are lucky that I double-bubbled, missy.
Dad! Dad! That is it, all right? If I'm old enough to go to college and old enough to vote, then I'm old enough to get my own place.
Where you can make a bubble beard in private? Yes, if I so desire.
Hey, way to lock the bathroom door, soap on a dope.
That is exactly what I'm talking about.
Maybe you can live in this festering female fungus, but I can't, all right? It is time for this rooster to spread his wings and bust out of the hen house.
Well fine, go ahead and cock-a-doodle-do it.
- Really? - Why, sure.
Moving out's an important step in a young man's life and I support it.
So do I.
I just have one request.
When you come crawling home because you can't handle life on your own, just call first so I can get my video camera set up.
OK.
Well, videotape this.
I'm gonna get my own place and it's gonna be great, because no matter what you think, I'm a responsible, mature adult.
I am so happy that you're finally here.
Well, hon, I'm happy I'm here, too, but you should say something nice to the horse.
Good idea, Uncle Earl.
We are gonna have so much fun.
Again, honey, to the horse.
She knows I can't stay, right? Well, Earl, I've been waiting for just the right moment to break it to her.
You are such a good daddy.
Oh, yeah! Oh! Dude, this place is incredible.
But, and, you know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, it's so clean.
Dude, I know.
And it's gonna stay that way.
Miley doesn't think that I can handle living on my own, but I'll show her.
Check it out.
One hundred percent boogie-free! Oh! It's like I don't even know you anymore.
I've become a man, my friend.
What is that? I have a rock band living above me.
- It's so loud.
- I know.
- It's so cool! - I know! Oh, hey, there, Lilly.
Whoo! That is one handsome sandwich you got there.
Yeah, well, I do work in a sub shop.
It shows, too.
You know, when Mile makes a sandwich, she usually makes one for me, too, but that's just Mile.
Uh-huh.
I guess it's her way of showing her appreciation for me putting this roof over her head.
How you like living here? Here.
For me? Oh, thank you, Lilly.
You know what else Mile does? - Iced tea or lemonade? - Little bit of both.
- Yeah.
- Don't be stingy with the ice.
Oh! Do I have a serious case of saddle butt or what? But I don't care.
Blue Jeans and I had Ow! so much fun today.
- Ooh, that looks great.
- Yeah, it sure does.
- Lilly made it for me.
- Hey, Lil! How you like living here? - White or wheat? - Wheat, please.
Blue Jeans and I had so much fun.
It was the best day ever.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Riding Blue Jeans always did put a smile on your face.
Yeah, you said the key to being happy is never forgetting where you come from, and being out there on Blue Jeans today, it felt like I was back in Crowley Corners.
Bringing Blue Jeans here was the best thing I ever did.
Cool.
Hello.
Oh, hey, Burt.
What?! I-I'll be there right away.
What happened? Blue Jeans.
He ran away.
Bringing Blue Jeans here was the dumbest thing I ever did.
Miley, we're gonna find him, OK? The stable's looking, you already called the police.
And I am gonna make up a lost horse poster right now.
Lilly's right.
Everything's gonna turn out fine, Mile.
Remember when you was eight years old and your kitty ran away? We looked all over the place for it.
Turned out it was hiding under the kitchen sink the whole time.
Why didn't I think of that? I bet he's under the sink.
I mean, if I was a 1,500-pound horse, this is exactly where I would be.
- Blue Jeans? - Mile.
- Miley.
- Blue Jeans, is that you? Oh, wait.
There you are! Oh, good boy! You came home.
Good boy! Mile, stop waving that thing around.
You're gonna scare the horse in the window.
Dad, this is not time for one of your little Blue Jeans! - You half scared me to death.
- Good thing he showed up.
I don't think Lilly's lost horse picture would've helped much.
Hey, I was gonna color it in, OK? Here we go, boy.
Back home safe and sound.
OK, all right.
I admit the legs may be a little off, but I think I got his eye right.
You know what? I believe you did.
That's actually very, very good.
Wait.
He's just doing that supportive dad thing, isn't he? Well, he's trying, but let's admit it, you're not giving him much to work with.
You do make a very good sandwich.
A little heavy on the mayo, though.
OK, buddy.
Now, this isn't Tennessee.
You can't just walk across the yard to my window when you miss me.
'Cause here my window is six miles away past the freeway, past the mini mall and then across Will Ferrell's backyard.
Not such a funny man when your horsey takes a whiz on his hammock.
Yeah.
It's not like he was in it.
Oh.
Hey, Mile.
It's been a long day.
You and Blue Jeans both need to get some rest.
Yeah, right.
Good night, Blue Jeans.
Sleep tight.
Now, be a good boy and stay.
Stay.
Stay.
I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning.
Love you.
Not exactly what I had in mind.
OK.
Now, this time I mean it.
Stay.
Don't you me Now, stay.
Good boy.
Huh? Whoever you are, you're blocking my sun.
Oh, sweet niblets.
OK, so I've got a stable hand checking on him every hour, I put my favorite scarf around his neck, with my favorite perfume on it, and I've got Indiana Joannie on a continuous loop.
Now, if that doesn't do it, I don't know what will.
I'm not lying, Mr.
Donavan.
A horse ate my homework.
Really.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Hey, Stewart, your friend here tried to cut in front of me in the cafeteria, but I said "Neigh!" - Goal! - Goal! - Goal! Goal! Goal! - Goal! Goal! Goal! - Wait.
You hear that? - What? The beautiful sound of a Miley-free living environment.
Jackson, I know you guys have your problems, but Miley's my bud.
Get out! I mean, was my bud.
Yesterday.
Not anymore.
I mean, you say Miley, I say who? - Miley.
Miley.
- Who? Who? I'm gonna get us a drink.
Oh, dog! I think your fridge was a porta-potty in a former life.
- Really? - Yeah.
Jackson, it's not even cold in there.
OK, OK.
No problem.
When something goes wrong, you don't panic, you just you call the landlord.
That's what a mature adult does.
- Can I get some chips? - Help yourself.
Cool.
Um, Jackson.
You might wanna keep the landlord on speed dial.
Hello? Oh, hey, Dad.
What's the matter, you missing me already? Well, as hard as it is for me to believe, I do.
So, anyhow, I was thinking about stopping by just a little bit later and And what? Check up on me? 'Cause you think that I'm dumb enough to rent a fully furnished apartment that looks great but is falling apart faster than a pair of Fudgy Buddy boots? I just wanted to bring you over a welcome pie.
No! No, no.
Don't, no, Dad, Dad.
I already had pie.
Yeah, I I baked it myself.
In my awesome kitchen.
Ooh! - What was that? - Nothing.
I'm just I'm watching a TV show where they blow a lot of stuff up, yeah.
Ooh, they're about ready to smash together a watermelon and a cantaloupe in a Super Collider.
I gotta go.
Don't come over till I tell you to.
Bye.
Oliver, what happened? Uh nothing.
Just, you know, if if the landlord doesn't get here soon, you might need to build a boat.
If you tell one more lame joke, you might need to call the doctor.
- Here.
- Oh.
I was hoping for a towel, but thank you.
At least we got music while we work.
These guys are good.
Hey, crank it up! I hear that! Thank you.
I'll just leave you alone with your thoughts.
And your debris.
Yep.
Finally! Come on in! Hello! What are you doing here?! - I live here! - I own this place! What?! Stop that! You own this place? I own the whole block.
This apartment is falling apart! I know.
I was gonna use it for storage until I found out someone actually rented it.
I couldn't figure out who could be so stupid.
Now it all makes sense.
You know, I would insult you back, but I am a mature adult with my own apartment.
You don't have a comeback.
No, I'm mature.
Now fix my stuff! Napoleon Bonaparte-ment owner.
Still can't believe someone rented this dump.
I know.
He's an idiot.
Very funny, very funny! Now get out of my apartment! You're welcome.
Well, at least everything's fixed.
Blue Jeans, you can't follow me.
Go home.
Go home, go home.
That's what I'm tryin' to do.
OK, I thought when I brought you out here this was the end of these little late night chit-chats.
Dangflabbit, Miley, I never wanted you to bring me out here in the first place.
Then why'd you keep saying, "I-I-I need you, Mile.
I need you"? What I meant was I needed you to come back home to Tennessee.
What? Mile, Tennessee's a part of you and you've been living without it for too long.
But I don't wanna go back to Tennessee.
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
- Do, too! - Do not! - Do, too! - Do not! All right, that's it.
I'm ending this dream right now.
That's better.
Nice try, but I'm not done yet.
Why do you think you're so happy when you're back in Crowley Corners? Why do you think you were smiling when we were riding the other day? - Well, I - Face it, Mile.
You know what you really want.
I am not just gonna pack up my life and move back to Tennessee because my horse told me to.
Come on, I'm not just your horse.
I'm what you're feeling.
I'm what's in your heart.
I'm, I'm, I'm You're what? I'm you.
Hey, Mile.
I'm going to the market.
You got any special requests? Just one.
I wanna move back to Tennessee.
Oh, oh And now I just don't know Who I really am How it's gonna be Is there something that I can't see I wanna understand Maybe I will never be Who I was before Maybe I don't even know her anymore Well, maybe who I am today Ain't so far from yesterday Can I find a way to be Every part of me