Acapulco (2021) s04e02 Episode Script

Rome, If You Want To

1
- Good morning!
- Good to see you.
Hi.
- Good morning. Hello.
- Hey, how are you?
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good ♪
Baby, you're no good ♪
I'm gonna say it again ♪
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good
Baby, you're no good ♪
I broke a heart that's gentle and true ♪
Well, I broke a heart
Over someone like you ♪
I'll beg his forgiveness
On bended knee ♪
I wouldn't blame him if he said to me ♪
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good
Baby, you're no good ♪
I'm gonna say it again ♪
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good
Baby, you're no good ♪
I'm tellin' you now, baby
I am going my way ♪
Forget about you, baby ♪
'Cause I'm leavin' this day ♪
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good
Baby, you're no good ♪
I'm gonna say it again ♪
You're no good
You're no good ♪
You're no good
Baby, you're no good ♪
We're gonna say it again ♪
Why aren't you saying anything at all?
Augusto, Adriana…
[in Spanish] What's going on?
These are my auditions for
the new pool entertainment.
And I'm casting a
very wide net.
I just brought you in as judges.
Not to scare everyone off.
[in English] Don't listen to these two.
If they were telling the story,
the '80s would probably
all be one big musical number.
- They kind of were.
- [shushes]
[Máximo clears throat]
Des… Despite the…
D-Despite what they said,
I-I just want you to know
that I'm a fair and loyal boss.
It's just that the-the moment
they're describing
came at a very
tumultuous time at the hotel.
But I would never, never do anything
unethical or-or corrupt, or…
Hey, our fire marshal's here.
Is it cool if my dad gets him drunk
before he starts the inspection?
Absolutely not.
Oh.
Oh.
Um, believe me,
Las Colinas isn't just any resort.
It's a family and a source of pride
for all employees.
And to prove it,
I'm gonna tell you a quick story
that actually picks up right where
Adriana and Augusto left off.
So, since Paco had
recently informed everyone
that I was the reason Diane
and Don Pablo were fired…
Oh, who are Diane and Don Pablo?
We don't have time for a recap.
Just let the story bathe over you.
So…
People were angry at me. Very angry.
And I felt the need
to clear the air immediately.
I want you all to know
that the rumors are true.
I was involved in
Diane and Don Pablo's firing.
But it was completely accidental.
I was just as surprised about them
being forced out as you were.
Ah. So you accidentally
beat me out for head of operations too.
Sounds like you're the a-hole.
I cannot believe you'd
cozy up to Señor Vera like that.
What's next?
You party all night with him?
You take a blood oath
that bonds you for life?
Disgusting.
I promise you,
we are all in this together.
And I'll do everything in my power
to make sure nothing will change
under the new ownership.
And that starts with all of us
needing a little more capital F.
Fun!
Who's up for
a little morning meeting Lotería?
Dulce, want to…
Okay. I'll do it myself.
[in Spanish] Señor Vera has some new
employee guidelines he'd like to share.
[in English] Okay. Uh, didn't have that
on the morning minutes, but…
And you're just passing them out.
Cool.
Why should I get a heads up
on something like this?
I'm just Head of Operations.
"No fraternizing with each other
when guests are around"?
Does that apply to married people?
"No behavior that would be deemed
flirtatious or inappropriate"?
My entire personality is inappropriate.
"A demerit system
for employee infractions.
And a reward for
reporting employee infractions."
Yesterday I saw Lupe…
[in Spanish] Careful, Beto…
"There's no more free
lunch in the cafeteria?"
I can't go back to eating
my wife's sandwiches.
They're so dry!
It's like eating a wallet.
[in English] Clearly there's
some sort of mistake.
There's an entire kitchen staff
that works down here.
What's Vera gonna do? Fire everyone?
[lights buzzing]
- [employee, in Spanish] What the hell?
- He DID fire everyone!
[employees clamoring]
[in English] Okay, enough's enough.
I'm gonna go to talk
to Señor Vera right now.
And if you wanna play Lotería while I do,
cards are in the box.
Plus, Chiclets for the winner.
Tiny gum, big flavor.
Yay!
[Older Máximo] As I was dealing with
a staff that clearly wanted to kill me,
at home, death was also in the air.
[in Spanish] I can't believe Juan died…
My love,
please show some respect.
If you want to watch
something disturbing,
check out all the plaque I'm
getting off your mom's dentures.
He was only a few
years older than me.
And he was just at our posada!
It's very sad.
He was a good man and neighbor.
Bit of a close talker.
I always left our
interactions damp.
This whole thing
seems fishy.
Juan, a perfectly healthy man,
robust like me…
fell and hit his head.
Sometimes tragedies happen.
You know what they say:
One man's tragedy
is another man's puzzle.
I'm not sure I like what this Agatha
Christie book club is doing to you.
You're welcome to join us.
We talk motives.
We debate suspects.
We eat cookies.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I've got enough to worry
about with your mom.
But you have your fun.
No, Nora. No.
There is no "fun" in death.
[exclaims] I'm going to go interview
the paramedics!
Maybe they'll give me
some inside dirt…
Mm-hmm.
[sighs]
Señor! Señor!
[in English] Hi. Máximo!
How did morning meeting go?
- Very badly!
- [sighs]
Ay, mi amor. I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.
God, I should've checked the bushes
for chismoso gardeners
before telling Lorena how I was feeling.
- It's not your fault, Julia.
- [sighs]
I'm the one who caused all the problems.
But things aren't just bad
because of what happened before.
Señor Vera just dumped
all these terrible new rules on us.
So his terrible is worse than my terrible?
Oh, his terrible will always be
worse than your terrible, mi amor.
[sighs, chuckles] That's strangely sweet.
Technically, that was
against Vera's new rules.
But not for long. Wish me luck.
I told everyone I would confront him.
But one-on-one,
that man is very intimidating.
[speaks Spanish]
Señor Vera, sorry to bother you.
I just wish you would have told me
about the new rules first.
But now the staff is very concerned.
- I…
- They'll get over it.
I institute these type of rules
at all my hotels.
There's always a big reaction at first.
But it really is best for quality control.
That might be true at other places,
but the new rules just feel…
[sighs]
…extreme. And as the new
Head of Operations, I think…
[sighs]
Are you okay, sir?
Do you need some oxygen?
I was just, uh…
Well, today's my birthday, Máximo.
It is?
Happy Birthday, boss! [chuckles]
I'd offer to have Santiago in the kitchen
make you one of his famous
tres leches cakes, but you fired him.
Yeah, it's fine.
I've never been much of a cake guy anyway.
Sounds like someone's got
a little case of the birthday grumps.
But look at all these
well-wishers. [chuckles]
Seems like this Merrill Lynch lady
is a huge fan of yours.
Merrill Lynch is a bank
and birthdays are pointless.
I never celebrate them.
Not even when you were young?
Oh, especially when I was young.
You see, Máximo, growing up in my house,
there wasn't much love.
My family was so focused on
success and achievement.
And whatever love they did have,
they gave it to my brother, Ricardo.
The one with the dimples
and the good hair.
Who sold his first luxury condo at 11.
Eleven?
Can you go now?
Okay. Uh, yeah.
Uh, I guess we can talk about those
new rules another time then. [chuckles]
Uh, should I leave the door open or…
[sighs]
I'll just leave it open.
Halfway.
"Hermigo," I gotta tell ya, I'm getting
a lot of pushback on these new guidelines.
They aren't allowing the staff
to do the jobs they normally do.
[guest] Tell me, Héctor,
how are the mango margaritas?
Oh, the mango margaritas
are very, very, very…
[clears throat]
They're good.
Pathetic.
Everything Vera's doing
is horrible for morale,
which is why I've implemented
an open door policy.
Employees can vent
and complain to me anytime they want.
I've already helped Augusto and Adriana
deal with the stress and anger
after they were let go.
He fired them too?
Who's singing?
[Augusto and Adriana singing on recording]
What's been so great
about Las Colinas is it's…
it's like we're one big happy family.
But now all that is changing.
I just felt the baby kick
for the first time.
[shushes] We're not supposed to be talking
to each other in front of the guests.
Beto is watching.
[mumbling]
You're right, Chad.
Family is everything at the hotel.
And you just gave me a great idea.
That's a terrible idea.
You want to reward the man
who's making our lives miserable
by throwing him a party?
[in Spanish] What's next? He kills someone
and we give him a lap dance?
[in English] Trust me,
there's a method to my madness.
Vera is treating the hotel
like one of his other properties.
He doesn't know the heart
and soul of Las Colinas.
But if we can come together
and throw him a wonderful birthday party,
then he'll have no choice but to ease up
on all of these terrible rules of his.
[groans] That seems like a stretch,
even for you, Maxi.
That's 'cause you didn't see the look on
his face when I told him we were doing it.
You already told him we're doing it?
You don't understand. The man gets
no love from his actual family.
Never has.
I think, deep down, he's very heartbroken.
[in Spanish] I'm heartbroken!
How is every sandwich
only the end pieces?
- [employees clamoring]
- [Máximo, in English] Wait, wait! Please!
This is important! Hey, hold on!
Please!
Everyone, everyone.
Please, stop blaming Máximo.
He's only trying to make
a bad situation better.
No, it's true.
His heart is in the right place.
So, uh, here's what I'm thinking.
We throw Señor Vera
a nice tasteful dinner party tonight
for like, ten to twelve guests.
At the end of the day, the entire staff
will come out and sing to him.
- He'll feel the love and…
- Ah. La, la, la, la, la. La, la.
I'm not listening. I'm not listening.
La, la, la. Sorry, I'm sorry. Uh…
Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt
party planning central.
I just wanna thank you for everything
you're doing for my special day.
Thank you.
And since you did offer
to throw me a party,
and it's a milestone birthday for me,
I was thinking we might wanna go
a little bit bigger with it.
Oh, love that. [chuckles]
Are we thinking like 20 to 30 people?
More like one to two hundred.
Three hundred, tops.
And we're gonna need a bigger stage
for the band that I'm hiring.
Sounds good?
I, uh… Uh… We can try.
But it might be tough to create a party of
that size on such short notice.
Totally.
This is why I told my guests
that the party will be tomorrow.
Twenty-four hours should be
more than enough
to prep for 350 guests
and their plus-ones. Right?
- Yes, sir. Not a problem. [chuckles]
- [staff members sigh]
Fantastic.
Oh.
Mm-hmm?
One more thing.
And it's minor.
Can the theme of the party
be Ancient Rome?
I've always loved the Roman Empire.
I think of it often.
[chuckles]
Well, uh, sounds like we're all
gonna have to work through the night.
But at least everyone's getting
double overtime for their efforts.
So now, who's ready to start?
I am.
[sighs]
E-Excuse me.
Can I help you, ice sculpture guy?
I'm just wondering, how much longer
are these stories going to go on?
I'm on a bit of a time crunch here.
[sighs]
I have a rule.
No chain saws at the pool.
So, I don't think
this is the right gig for you.
Might as well sit back
and enjoy the free entertainment?
Any other questions?
Yes, yes.
No. I was not…
The…
Uh, oh. Yeah.
Yes. Um, this feels like
a two-part question.
N-No. Um…
Um… Shut up. Okay. Never mind.
Back to the story.
[in Spanish] Nora.
You're never going to
believe what happened!
One of the paramedics
told me
when Juan fell, there
was A LOT of blood.
That is inconsistent with a
simple domestic accident.
I'm not sure I'm
following you.
[sighs] Oh, my love.
You're so innocent.
Juan was murdered!
And you're basing this
on… what exactly?
Well, all the evidence —
It's probably easier if
I just show you.
Here's Juan's apartment…
This is the door. [imitates door creaking]
This is the fridge.
This is the kitchen counter.
But the way he fell,
it's not clear what
he hit his head on.
Not on a stair.
Not on the side of a wall.
Not even on a sharp end table.
And here's the thing
that's really suspicious.
If you look at the way
the body was found…
- [gasps]
- [screams]
His legs are the fatty part.
He was like this.
He was contorted.
Does that make sense?
Not even a little.
[sighs]
Look,
it's POSSIBLE there could
have been that much blood
from him hitting his
head on the floor.
But it's much more likely
he was struck on the head
by a blunt object.
- But what object?
- [sighs]
- And by who?
- [speaks Spanish]
And why?!
It's also possible you're the one
who got hit on the head
and you need to stop
this insanity.
I'm just following the evidence!
Ooh, I think there was also an unusual
fall in "Murder on the Orient Express".
Agatha Christie, talk to me!
[employees chattering, groaning]
[in English] Whoever said
Rome wasn't built in a day
clearly never met the staff
of Las Colinas. Wow.
Memo, I'm gonna need you
to oversee construction.
You got it! I mean, I've never even
hung a picture frame, but…
Don't worry. You're gonna be a natural.
I can feel it. [chuckles]
And…
- Julia!
- Hmm?
I'm gonna need you to take care of
all the period-accurate costumes.
You're so lucky
I'm your girlfriend. [chuckles]
Okay, Las Colinas family, put 'em in.
[Older Máximo] The staff was in
the worst mood I had ever seen.
I felt terrible.
Chad did his best to try and help.
Guys, remember, as general manager of
employee relations, I am here for you.
No complaint is too big or too small.
My door is always open.
[employees chattering, groaning]
[Older Máximo] And here's the crazy thing,
they actually took him up on it.
By the middle of the night,
Chad's office was booming.
This is all my wife
puts in my sandwiches.
One piece of ham.
One piece of cheese.
No mustard.
No lettuce.
[in English] I understand
your pain, amigo.
My suggestion,
an extended stay at an ashram.
Or you could just make your own lunch
until this is all figured out.
[sighs]
[in Spanish] No tomato,
no mayo,
no pepper, no chipotle.
[in English] Héctor, have a seat.
I choose to stand, Chad.
Everything that's going on
is really messing with my pool boy mojo
and I'm having a very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, hard time with it.
Wow, I didn't realize
things were that bad.
Well, now you know.
Okay, I have an idea.
Why don't we try something
I learned in my travels
to help manage stress and anxiety?
- You really want to do that at work?
- Mm-hmm.
How many milligrams?
- I'm talking about scream therapy.
- Oh, less fun.
You know, in western culture,
we keep so much in
that sometimes it's just…
It's important to let it all out.
- Hmm.
- So, take a deep breath
- and scream for me.
- You want me to scream for you?
It might make you feel better.
So just let it all out!
[inhales deeply]
Ah.
- Oh, come on.
- [sighs]
- You can do better than that.
- I can't!
I have a very hard time
expressing my anger.
Okay. Well, think about the fact
that Vera wanted your woman.
- [growls]
- Maybe even hooked up with your woman.
[roars]
I bet Vera did things to your woman
that you can't even imagine.
[screams]
That's what I'm talking about!
You do realize that in this scenario
my woman is also your mother, right?
I bet it makes you want to
scream a little bit, doesn't it?
- [screams]
- Good! That is good.
Ooh, it must be very hard
having this many upset employees
looking at you for answers, huh?
[screams]
Yes!
Shall we do it together?
[both inhale deeply, scream]
[muffled screaming]
[music plays]
[muffled screaming continues]
[Older Máximo] At the same time,
my best friend and mi amor
were just as tired
and frustrated as everyone else.
- [Memo sighs] I'm so exhausted.
- Mmm.
Did the party happen yet?
I wish.
I didn't even know what
a praetorian guard uniform was
until, like, three hours ago.
Now I feel like I've
outfitted an entire army.
Remind me why we're doing all of this?
Because Máximo told us to.
And we support him, no matter what
crazy idea he comes up with.
[sighs]
Okay, I'm gonna say this once
and then deny it forever.
But it's not always easy
being his best friend.
I know.
Memo, I love him so much.
But can I be honest?
Yeah.
Sometimes I wish I could
tie his shoelaces together
and throw him down La Quebrada.
I mean, only during
his worst moments, of course.
- [laughs]
- Oh. [laughs]
Why do we put up with this?
Well, even though
he can be kind of frustrating…
Mmm.
…at the end of the day,
he always does the right thing.
Mmm. Yeah.
It's just moments like this one
that are rough.
Mmm. I think we can come up
with stronger words than that.
[both laughing]
I have an idea.
Huh?
Why don't we tell Máximo the mannequin
everything we'd never say to his face?
You know,
if it wasn't 2:00 in the morning,
I'd say all of this is insane.
But right now, I'm all for it.
- Okay. You go first, okay?
- Okay.
Come on, girl. Let me have it.
Midnight, you're getting uptight
Where are you? ♪
You said meet me
Now it's quarter to two ♪
I know I'm hanging
But I'm still wanting you ♪
Hey, Jack, it's a fact
They're talking in town ♪
I turn my back
And you're messing around ♪
I'm not getting jealous
Don't like looking like a clown ♪
I think of you every night and day ♪
You took my heart
And you took my pride ♪
Away, ee-yay, ee-yay, ee-yay
Ee-yay, ee-yay, ee, yeah ♪
I hate myself for loving you ♪
Can't break free
From the things that you do ♪
I want to walk but I run back to you ♪
That's why I hate myself
For loving you ♪
Excuse me, excuse me! Excuse me.
How am I supposed to be focused
when someone in the room
just randomly breaks into song?
I just wanted to make sure that
my vocal chords were staying warmed up.
Warm or not, I'm cooling on you.
Don't worry. We're nearing the big finale.
Everyone will have a chance
to stretch, hydrate
or put on a new coat of clown makeup.
Now, the next day, everything was set
for Alejandro Vera's big party.
It was perfect.
Except for one thing.
"Happy birthday.
Love, Dulce and the staff"?
I put you on cake duty
and this is what you come up with?
That's correct.
Now that the truth has come out
about how you sold Diane
and Don Pablo down the river,
I'm just covering my bases.
I thought you were my loyal soldier.
I am. I'd take a bullet
for you until I won't.
Where are you leaning now?
Won't.
Okay, uh…
Well, now that everything is in place,
hopefully Vera will see how hard we have
worked and he'll be so humbled that…
[drumroll playing]
[cymbal crashes]
[trumpets blowing]
Dulce.
[Alejandro] Here, have a grape.
[sighs]
- [book snaps]
- [exclaims]
[in Spanish] I've been thinking
about it a lot.
And I've only got
one choice.
Leave the book club
and join a
- for-the-good-of-our-marriage-literally-
- any-other-club-I-beg-of-you?
- No.
- Aw.
I've got to check out
Juan's apartment for myself.
Is this really that
important to you?
If you don't do it,
are you ever going
to let this go?
Do you have any clue how you're planning
on getting into Juan's apartment?
[Nora gasps]
[exclaims, sighs]
Or…
it might be easier if
we use the front door key
he kept under his mat.
If…
"we?"
Does that mean you're
coming with me?
Just for your protection…
[Esteban] Hmm.
[Older Máximo, in English]
With Vera now in a great mood,
I decided it was time to make my move.
Ah. Maximus, approach.
- [chuckles]
- [Alejandro] Hmm.
Pretty incredible party, huh?
It's quite impressive, yeah.
That's the Las Colinas difference.
We treat everyone like family here.
Which is why the staff stayed up
all night, away from their own families,
all to realize
your vision of Ancient Rome.
Yes. And I truly appreciate it.
So, since you are now feeling
that Las Colinas spirit,
what do you think about maybe scaling back
just a bit on some of your new rules?
Why would I do that?
Uh. To show that even emperors
sometimes make mistakes.
I think it would really help
with staff morale.
Máximo, their paychecks are their morale.
Mind if I talk to my friends now?
[Older Máximo] At that moment,
I realized that all our hard work
had been for nothing.
I felt disgusted, ashamed. But…
At least everyone got double overtime.
No, they didn't.
I didn't approve of that.
And overtime
is the next thing I'm cutting, by the way.
You can't do that.
Everyone at the hotel relies on overtime.
That's how Las Colinas has always been.
I'm in the business of running the most
effective and efficient hotel possible.
Not leaning on
what used to work in the past.
You wouldn't believe how much the numbers
have improved since I took over.
[brass band playing]
Ah. [chuckles]
And that's my cue. Excuse me.
Uh. [clears throat] Uh, welcome.
Welcome. And thank you all for coming
to my small, humble affair.
I feel like the luckiest emperor
in the whole entire world.
With the most loyal subjects.
You see, I didn't do much celebrating
when I was growing up.
I even convinced myself
that I wasn't a cake guy.
I mean, who doesn't love cake, right?
But I'm thrilled you're all here
to help me celebrate this milestone.
My 49th birthday.
And it's a big one.
One less than the big five-oh.
But the good news is I feel good.
Well, I mean, that's not quite right.
I guess,
what I'm really trying to say is that…
I'm so excited ♪
And I just can't hide it ♪
I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
I'm so excited ♪
And I just can't hide it ♪
No, no, no ♪
I know, I know, I know, I know ♪
I know I want you, I want you ♪
Tonight's the night
We're gonna make it happen ♪
Tonight we'll put
All other things aside ♪
Give in this time
And show me some affection ♪
We're going for those pleasures
In the night ♪
- I want to love you, feel you
- [chorus] Love you, feel you
And wrap myself around you ♪
- I want to squeeze you, please you
- [chorus] Squeeze you, please you
I just can't get enough ♪
- And if you move real slow
- [chorus] Ooh, ooh
- I'll let it go
- [chorus] Ooh
[singers] Let's get excited
[sighing] Wow. That's a lot.
[singers] We just can't hide it
I sure hope this whole thing
was worth killing the staff over.
Hmm. It wasn't. Not even close.
No one's getting any overtime.
Actually, there is no more overtime.
Things aren't gonna get any better
with him either.
They're only gonna get worse.
[sighs] What do you think we should do?
[singers] Look what you do to me
You got me burning up ♪
[Alejandro] I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it
I think we should leave.
- [chorus] …What you do to me
- [Alejandro] Oh, boy
- Where are you going?
- Anywhere but here.
Come on. We're all walking out.
- [Alejandro] Hey, hey, like it
- [chorus] Oh, oh, whoa
- [Alejandro] I'm so excited
- [chorus scatting]
- [Alejandro] You could take it
- [chorus] Oh, oh, oh
[Alejandro] I know, I know I want you
- I'm so excited
- [chorus] Ooh
[Older Máximo] While we were walking out,
my mom and Esteban were breaking in.
[both breathing heavily]
[in Spanish] See how these things
suck you in?
I'm not getting sucked in.
I'm being a supportive partner.
Mmm. That's always the last
thing people say
before they get
sucked in…
Hmm. [smacks lips]
It looks a little cleaned up.
- [kisses]
- Not a lot of clues left
for Inspector Esteban.
Hmm. [smacks lips]
No blood splatter.
No way to check
the rate of lividity.
No way for me to know if
you're saying real words.
- [gasps] Wait!
- Hmm?
This might be something…
- [grunts]
- [sighs]
I'm going to kill you!
- [phone chimes]
- [in English] But… [sighs]
Sorry, my daughter is texting me.
[typing]
Um. [clears throat] A-Anyway…
[clears throat]
…I hope this story shows you all
how much I love and support workers.
And how I will do anything
to protect them and their rights.
Because, like I said,
at Las Colinas we're a family.
- And family is always number one…
- [phone chimes]
What the f… hell, Paloma!
Oh.
I-It's an emergency.
Uh, very sorry to do this but it
looks like we're gonna have to reschedule.
[sighing, groaning]
Uh, so don't call us.
We'll call you. [groans]
- You kidding me?
- Sorry. [grunts]
Oh! Oh, oh. A-And one more thing.
Because everyone knows
that I do love a good cliff-hanger.
As we were all making our way
out of the hotel,
a new guest had decided to check in.
Diane was intent on
getting her hotel back.
And she had decided
to plan her revenge in plain sight.
[bell chimes]
Diane! What are you doing here?
I'm moving in
to one of the beachfront villas.
[gasps] Amazing!
[gasps] And how long will you be staying?
As long as it takes.
Now, darling, do you think
someone can help me with my…
[employees clamoring]
[chanting, in Spanish]
Vera out! Vera out! Vera out!
[employees continue chanting]
[sighs, speaks in English]
This is going to be a fun stay.
Previous Episode