Franklin and Bash (2011) s04e02 Episode Script
Kershaw v. Lincecum
Peter: Dude, what happened? Jared: I remember games.
Skee-ball.
Ticket envy.
It's understandable.
No, man.
Your off-the-wall carom shot is just wrong.
It goes against skee-ball principle.
You got to go straight ahead.
Our whole lives are carom shots.
[Scoffs.]
[Opera music blaring.]
Hey.
Ah, you're up.
What are you doing here? [Music stops.]
I slipped in late last night.
You boys were out cold.
What? I can't drop by the house that I own The one that you rent at a very favorable rate.
No, you can.
It's just w W-w-we would rather straighten up.
Oh, boys, please.
Don't be intimidated by its size.
Remember, men of my generation were held up to a far more rigorous natural selection.
I mean, just to make it to childbirth was a feat of Darwinistic proportions.
Our mothers smoked and drank.
We were raised in houses of ill repute and fed dark liquor and uncured meats.
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
- I can't see out of my left eye.
- Geez.
What's the latest on getting my law license reinstated? We can't do it until you admit the truth.
What? That Damien helped Rachel embezzle millions of our clients' money.
- Yes.
- I've told you, I-I just don't want my nephew involved in this.
But he did it.
If Karp hadn't gotten drunk and slept with Rachel, she wouldn't have gotten the codes to access the client accounts.
I want to look forward, not back.
Until I get my license again, I'm gonna need my master bedroom back and the guardian lions returned to the meditation room.
Well, if that's the meditation room, where does that leave us? I don't know.
Suppose you could always bunk together in the tradition of Slim and George from "Of Mice and Men.
" You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna work extra hard to get your hearing pulled up.
Yeah, like, to maybe yesterday.
Good.
Excellent.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to keep the old heart rate up.
- Absolutely.
- Go for it.
We got to get Stanton back in his office.
I was gonna say we need to get him out of our house.
Well, technically, it's his house.
Correction we got to get Stanton out of his house.
[Sighs.]
[Rock music plays.]
Ooh, what a mixture Such a vivid picture Ooh, what a mixture If I must say so myself That was amazing.
Your closing was incredible.
That speech was 1/3 "St.
Elmo's Fire" and 2/3 "Hunger Games"? When Jared put that rabbit in the grandmother's lap, I lost it.
I just never expected that in a tax-evasion case.
Any excuse to use magic.
So, when's it my turn? You know, I just can't wait to get in the courtroom and learn underneath you guys.
- [Cellphone rings.]
- You want that one? I stopped playing t-ball when I turned 30.
Oh, we just lost James Kenner as a client.
He won't trust his business to anyone but Stanton Infeld.
Well, Stanton doesn't have his license.
We do.
I understand that.
Oh, look who it is.
Crap.
I think it's pronounced "Karp.
" That's what I said.
If it isn't our favorite backstabber.
I think there's a no-animal policy at the courthouse.
Oh, it's a rabbit.
They used it in closing.
I was referring to them.
Damien Karp.
Hi.
Anita Haskins.
I've heard a lot a you.
Don't look him in the eye.
He'll ck out your soul like a dementor.
Is the, uh the cute, little bunny rabbit Is that your new mascot or just another sideshow? It just won the case.
Kind of like we do every time we go against you.
Well, real law, the kind that's practiced by real lawyers, does not require gimmicks.
If you accepted a job with these two street minstrels, you must've gotten your degree at a mall kiosk.
She did.
A little kiosk called Stanford.
And if it wasn't for Infeld, you'd be out on the streets.
He saved your ass.
Please.
I carried his ass.
I carried your asses.
[Cellphone dings.]
You aren't worthy of being anywhere near Infeld's ass.
Ours, maybe.
Why are we talking about asses? No idea.
Is this the kind of scintillating legal repartee that you were expecting when you were at Stanford? Hey, we just signed Jim Kenner.
Well, turn out the lights of your firm on the way out.
Very nice to meet you, Sabrina.
- Anita.
- Whatever.
When can I go up against that guy? Soon as we're done with him.
[Indistinct conversation.]
There's a woman who came in asking for a divorce attorney.
Yes! You've got to let me on this one, please.
- Easy.
- Where is she? In the conference room.
Bogey 10:00.
Dr.
Beckmann and our property manager.
- Ooh.
- What about the case? Uh, Anita, can you babysit our new client? Our client? Yes.
I'll start the client intake.
I'll get the basic information Okay, just go.
Fine.
Please, go.
If Nate finds out that the doctor's been paying us rent under the table, he'll evict us.
Uh, Jess? Code red, level "G.
" Go, go, go, go.
Nate, you're needed down in the parking garage Emergency.
Again? What happened? The valet damaged a client's Lamborghini.
They won't leave until they talk to the property manager.
Doctor.
Doctor.
How you doing, huh? Great suit.
Great suit.
What's going on? Turn over here and cough.
That was our property manager that you were talking to, and, you know, he kind of frowns upon us subleasing this space.
Especially to a cosmetic surgeon in a law firm.
He's picky like that.
Don't worry.
We were talking baseball.
Oh, big series this weekend Dodgers-Giants.
All right.
Great.
Okay.
Hey, uh, thanks for the urinal advice.
Yeah, that's where I do my best thinking.
More of a shower guy myself.
Good to know.
He said, "it's not enough to have a specialty.
You need a sub-specialty.
" He's brilliant.
Yeah, we really got to go.
We got someone waiting.
I'm gonna be the areola king of the West Side.
- Sorry? - Go on.
Finish.
Well, any plastic surgeon in the country can do a generic boob job.
I'm gonna master an intricate anatomical niche One that only I can tailor.
- And improve.
- And enlarge.
I was gonna say rejuvenate.
- We have a client.
- Yeah.
We really should go.
An areola specialist.
Finally.
Right? I love him.
I don't want to divorce him.
I mean, no little girl dreams of becoming a divorcée in encino.
I have to do it.
He's created a situation where I can never measure up to his impossible standards.
- We're gonna help you - Jared: Yeah.
But I-I can't imagine there's a standard you don't measure up to or surpass.
[Chuckles.]
She's still married.
Technically.
My husband is very wealthy.
Neat.
That's great.
Under California law, so are you.
No, I'm not.
I signed a prenup that will leave me with nothing.
There's a fidelity clause, but he's been faithful so far as I know.
Contracts are made to be broken.
We got this.
You haven't seen this contract yet.
Contract hasn't seen us.
The good part is, you came to a reputable law firm like ours.
Hey, uh, you know what? Why don't we start with headlines, hmm? The headlines are that we've been married for less than four years, so the prenup says that we both leave the marriage with exactly what we came into it with.
For me, that's student loans and $3,000 in credit-card debt.
You signed away your community property rights? I was in love.
I thought that he loved me and he would take care of me.
Well, let us take care of you now, Chelsea.
Uh-huh.
How? That's our job.
[Chuckles.]
The important thing is, we're on your team now and we're gonna win together.
Together.
So, what are you gonna do on your own? Well, I have a degree in marketing.
So I'll cobble together some part-time work until I find something that fits.
Well, call any time.
Any time.
Don't hesitate, okay? - Thank you.
- All right.
- I feel better already.
- Take care.
See ya.
Honey? I thought you'd left already.
Come back inside.
Let's talk.
From now on, I think you should talk to my lawyers, Franklin and Bash.
I'll call you later.
Her lawyers? I pay you rent and now you're handling my wife's divorce? We didn't know Chelsea was your wife when she came in.
No idea.
She came in foot traffic.
Yeah, she was a walk-in client.
She was just here.
We had a fight.
Okay, look.
We're gonna tell her that we can't take the case.
Yeah, we're not gonna take the case.
- We're not gonna take the case.
- We're done.
Okay? All right? We're sorry.
Okay.
Wait.
I'm gonna end up payingfor Chelsea's lawyers anyhow, so it might as well be someone I know.
And you guys wouldn't screw me over.
- No.
Pfft.
We're buds.
- Never.
I mean, I-I gave you the whole areola idea, remember? He gave you the booby thing.
I can't make her not divorce me, but you could put in a good word.
Come again? Maybe you could convince Chelsea to reconsider us splitting up.
Oh, yeah, that's not really in our job description.
If you cross me, I do have a pirated sublease that I could break at any time.
Or I could rat you out to your property manager.
Okay, the blackmail thing is kind of spoiling the can-do spirit here, Nick.
Oh, look.
Here he is now.
Excuse us for a moment.
- Nate.
- Hey.
Guys, this is the second false alarm in my parking garage in four days, and both times, I was told to go down there by your intern.
Huh? That's weird.
That is weird.
Uh, we have your rent money, but we're gonna need to exercise our grace period.
You already passed the grace period.
Grace period on the grace period? [Chuckles.]
Unless there's something from us you want in trade.
Well, your firm does own Dodgers season tickets right behind home plate.
Seen you guys sitting there on TV.
You drink a lot of beer.
Well, some games, it's hard to get through sober.
Oh, sorry it's not a journey cover band.
Me, too.
It's my wife's birthday, and she would get a real kick out of being on TV.
Yeah, Nate, uh, the thing is You got it.
When? Friday night.
Giants-Dodgers Kershaw vs.
Lincecum.
And then you'll give us a two-week extension on our rent? One week.
Sold.
Tickets will be in your office by Friday.
Yep.
Look for them on Friday.
Dude, you do remember we sold the firm's seats three months ago to make Rent.
I know.
But before we sold the season, the rest of the tickets were claimed by employees and clients.
So maybe we can get them back.
Who's got the seats? Karp.
[Chuckles.]
Great plan.
You got a better one? Wait a minute.
You want to tell the state bar that I'm a sex addict? - Genius, right? - You were reckless.
You exercised terrible judgment when you slept with Rachel King.
You are a very, very sick man perverted.
Very perverted.
Like R.
Kelly perverted.
But you recognize you got a problem and you want treatment.
And after which, we'll ask that you be reinstated, and Karp's name never comes up.
Ahh.
Well, I It's a refreshing strategy.
I'll give you that.
And, you know, I'm rather touched that you went so far afield.
Well, sir, we owe you our livelihood.
We owe you our lives, really.
And the firm you built needs you back, because our biggest clients want you and no one else.
I'm twisted.
I'm a slave to my lustful impulses.
[Grunts.]
Y-yeah.
[Chuckles.]
Where were you the day you signed the prenup, Chelsea? I was at Nick's exam room, the old one on Beverly.
We were discussing my next surgery.
He was looking through this thing, the The illuminated magnifier.
I needed to examined the hypertrophic scarring on her cheek bone.
Well, it sounds less like a doctor/patient dynamic and more like a svengali choke hold.
Objection.
Argumentative.
He literally had knife to my throat.
Objection.
Are you saying he was threatening you? Do you get paid by the objection? Because Civil Code 1569 says that whether a party is under duress is based on the totality of the circumstances.
A scalpel to her throat It was her cheek.
[Sighs.]
Where are Franklin and Bash? He was always insisting that his way was best, from how to make a kale smoothie to where we should vacation.
It had to be France.
No matter how many times I told him I wasn't interested in going.
And we never went.
You won, okay? She won? You're trying to leave her without a penny.
I know.
"Objection.
" All yours.
Mrs.
Beckmann, you claim my client exerted total control when you were working him over, weren't you? No.
You wanted free surgeries Three, in fact And you got them.
Peter: Objection.
I don't know what he just said, but it seems a little tense in here.
Very tense in here.
- Glad you could make it.
- Yeah, hey.
Chelsea, lovely to see you.
Is that a new haircut? 'Cause I got to tell you, I'm digging it.
Totally.
It's like Jason Statham.
I suggest that we break for the day.
Why? We just got here.
You and your client should think about a settlement.
This prenup is not valid, and your client violated every medical-ethics law in the book.
I'm sure the A.
M.
A.
would be interested in hearing about that.
Ooh.
[Inhales deeply.]
I need a moment with these two.
I don't think you should.
I'll be fine.
I thought this was gonna be easy.
- It will be.
- Yeah.
Did you talk to her about rethinking our divorce? So far, she hasn't been overly receptive.
Maybe if this one would stop hitting on her.
I'm not.
I'm just - Irresistible? - Exactly.
Thank you.
On the, uh, awkweird side, uh, we're gonna need a rent check by Friday.
Nice.
Hitting on the wife of the one tenant we need to pay his rent.
What are t w-what makes you think I was hitting on her? Kissing the hand of a client during a settlement conference? Or maybe I was trying to show Chelsea, as well as the good doctor, that she is a beautiful woman who does not need to be operated on, and she should be valued for how she looks and who she is.
You were hitting on her a little bit.
- Tiny bit.
- Nice.
Okay.
[Chuckles.]
Good work over there, but Really good work.
Yeah, but, uh, is is there any way that you can Kick ass but still be nice about it? See, there's a big picture we have to worry about.
- Big picture? - Big picture.
Yeah, well, see, Nick's practice provides a valuable revenue stream.
And Chelsea's our client.
Rock beats scissors? But paper beats rock and pays our salaries.
Unless you want to work for free.
I already do.
And if this goes to court, can I argue? No.
Um, you're you're not ready.
I'm sorry.
But could you I have to j excuse me.
It's a shame, you know? It's it's it's the end of a marriage.
But is it me, or do I sense that you still love him? No.
It's all you.
Chelsea, you know, divorce can be a bitter battle and it's filled with revenge tactics and no one wins.
And I get that you're pissed at Nick.
He can be a douche.
- Big douche.
- Big douche.
Interrupting you a lot.
Operating on you a lot.
But he still loves you.
Are you are you trying to get us back together? - No.
- No.
No.
But not not no.
I just believe in the institution of marriage.
Call me a romantic.
No, don't call him a romantic.
I came to you because Nick told me that you guys never lose, and I can't afford to lose this one.
Maybe I should hire counsel who is actually looking out for me Someone who really is on my team.
We're gonna have to do this one straight up for our client.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Peter: Just try one of these.
I don't want any of those.
Try it.
No.
It doesn't taste like food.
- Seriously? - Tastes like styrofoam.
- Hey.
Karp! - Hey.
- Wow, man.
- Look at you.
You wear the hell out of a two-button suit.
Working out all the time now? Okay, Bash and Franklin coming with compliments? Yes, I I will definitely fall for whatever it is that you need.
- That's just hurtful.
- Ow.
Ow.
I've got my new client, Jim Kenner, waiting.
Oh, wait.
He used to be with your firm, right? Hey, if we have to lose a client.
Think it's a little more than one.
Just happy it's to you.
[Chuckles.]
Here's the deal.
We're trying to do a solid for a buddy who wants to see Kershaw pitch this weekend.
He's had a run of tough luck lately.
His his girl just dumped him.
Boring.
I'm not giving you my tickets.
Go get some on Stubhub.
We would, but these particular tickets Location, location, location.
Mm-hmm.
They're right behind home plate.
Home plate.
Like he knows where that is.
You don't even know if the baseball's wound or stuffed.
Do you know who does know the answer to that question? My new client, Jim Kenner.
Now, you guys need something, which means I get to drive this.
If you can get me into Three Olives Grill for 8:00 P.
M.
on Friday night, I will consider giving you the tickets.
Three Olives rezzy.
Done.
Three Olives has a six-month waiting list.
For other people.
[Chuckles.]
You got it.
Good luck.
"Three Olives rezzy.
" What do you mean, "rezzy"? Why don't you kissy my ass? You have any other great ideas? "Hey, Karp, look at the way you wear that suit.
Want to get some dinner?" Your husband says your nose is what? Bumpy? Big? He says he can make it perfect.
Let's let's try to see it from his point of view.
I mean, you are a beautiful woman, and - Come on.
- Objection.
- This isn't happy hour, Mr.
Bash.
- Easy, Clooney.
Guys, just trying to do my job here, okay? Dr.
Beckmann's surgeries left you with no scarring, no long-term health problems, so what's wrong? I never wanted to be changed this much.
I didn't think I needed to be.
I no longer look like anyone in my family.
Lawyer: Objection.
Aside from trying to engender sympathy, what does any of this have to do with the validity of the prenup? What it shows is that Dr.
Beckmann [Clears throat.]
While a fine, skilled surgeon and a good man.
- Great man.
- Great man.
He overrode Chelsea's feelings on many things her nose.
And the control he exerted over it is a symbol of their entire marriage, including the prenup.
Overruled.
Her testimony will stand.
Any further questions, Mr.
Bash? No, Your Honor.
We're good.
Mrs.
Beckmann, you testified your husband exerted unfair control over you, that you felt you were coerced into signing the prenup.
Yes.
On February 11, 2010, did you go alone to the law office of Jackson & Mandelbaum for legal advice on this prenuptial agreement? Yes, but Are you aware that the ability to consult with counsel is the strongest argument against duress? Objection, Your Honor.
Calls for legal expertise.
Sustained.
You failed to reveal that you'd seen a lawyer.
Isn't that right? - I forgot.
But Nick said - You answered the question.
Your Honor, Mrs.
Beckmann knew exactly what she was doing at the time she signed the contract.
Based on Mrs.
Beckmann's testimony, I'm ruling there was no duress.
Barring any further defense, I'm inclined to find the prenuptial agreement stands.
We're in recess until tomorrow, at which time, I'll make my ruling.
I met with that lawyer for five minutes.
He was a friend of Nick's.
He didn't even charge me.
Well, you're paying for it now.
This was in an igloo? And you'll testify to that? Well, that that that's all we need.
Thank you.
- Dude.
- Huh? Infeld had sex with an inuit woman Get this 14 times in one night.
[Scoffs.]
That's not as impressive as you think.
It's the north pole.
A night there lasts like six months.
Good point.
Because you're beautiful, and you're perfect in my eyes Because you're wonderful Aah! I did not hear the door.
No, sorry.
We just, uh Here.
L-let us help you with this.
No.
D-d-d-d-don't.
Don't.
If you get hurt, I'll be in trouble and lawyers.
You're not gonna get in trouble.
We're lawyers.
We're just looking for Chef Sebastian.
Is he in trouble? No.
Nothing like that.
We're actually fans.
Sebastian's not here.
There's a southwest swell.
- Oh, he's a surfer.
- We're we're surfers.
So what? Uh, I feel like we got off to a rough start.
Let's start by helping you pick this up.
Hmmmmmmm.
Truth.
- Oh, come on.
- All right, she's allowed.
Okay.
If it were tastefully done and you had final say on the published image, would you pose naked? Yes.
- Yes! There you go.
- Good answer.
Attagirl.
Yeah.
- Your turn.
- Okay, come on.
Dare.
Oh, yeah.
- Bring it.
- There he goes.
Kiss your partner.
- Who? - Him.
- Me? - Where? On the mouth.
[Exhales sharply.]
Dodgers tickets.
- Fine.
- Okay.
Give me a second.
Just.
- Yeah.
Ready? - Yeah.
Go the other way.
[Both stammering.]
You got a big head.
Just that way.
Okay, just don't close your eyes.
- Don't close your eyes.
- I'm not.
Look me in the eyes.
[Laughing.]
Why do you want me to look you in the eyes? 'Cause it's just look me Don't close your eyes.
[Laughing.]
Okay.
I Big head.
Just grab it and do it.
[Sighs.]
- Okay.
- All right.
Still can't fit you in for Friday night.
What?! You just made You made me kiss him.
Come on.
Was it that bad? It was fine.
That's not the point.
Well, if I could add another table, I would, but I can't.
You can squeeze in another table, because we have a friend at the fire marshal's office.
Of course.
Yeah.
It's not my call, but If you could add two patrons a night, I think Sebastian would sign off.
- Done.
- Great.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's this? A good reason to drop Chelsea as a client.
Another one? Our P.
I.
Dan Mundy found it.
It's Chelsea and Nick 10 years ago.
Whoa! Time has not been kind to Dr.
Beckmann.
Peter: But it has been to Chelsea.
Yeah, she looks the same.
Why would she lie about having him change the way she looks? Especially something that's so easy to disprove.
Well, she hid the fact she consulted a lawyer.
Now this.
Well, at least we won't have to worry about pissing off our tenant by winning the case.
That's not me.
Well, who is it? I don't know, but look at where they are.
Anita: Looks like Paris.
- You've never been to France? - No.
Well, you sure look like this woman now.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
[Sighs.]
This is me four years ago.
Whoa.
Dr.
Beckmann isn't just the areola king of the West Side.
He's Dr.
Frankenstein.
He's been trying to turn me into an old girlfriend.
Chelsea, we're sorry.
This is my face.
It's what I present to the world.
It's my identity.
[Sighs.]
Yeah, well, it's not enough to break a prenup.
No, infidelity is the only thing that's gonna do that.
And, unfortunately, just role-playing as his old girlfriend isn't considered cheating.
But is it role-playing if he's doing it surgically? Surgery is permanent.
He cheated on you with you.
Stanton: I said to Jorge, "go back to your roots.
" So he decided to take the name Francis and then he heard my confession.
And, dare I say, the penance that his holiness handed down would've broken a Navy seal, never mind a jesuit.
[Both laugh.]
- Oh, hello, Jared.
- Hey.
Getting, uh, ready for your big day tomorrow? State-bar hearing.
Absolutely.
I'm feeding my sexual addiction, trying to get into character.
Good.
Oh, do you know Tanya here? She has an extra toe on either foot.
You want to see? I don't want to.
I feel I need to.
[Chuckles.]
And how are your digits? - Pyro? I ca - I know.
Hey, look who it is Fire marshal Johnson.
Hey, Mark, how's it going? This is Tanya.
She has 12 toes.
- Tanya: Hi.
- Hello.
And goodbye.
We're gonna go look at them.
Whoa, dude.
We have a favor to ask.
- Oh, yeah? What? - Right.
We have a friend who owns Three Olives Grill.
- Never been.
- Nah, neither have we, but she needs some fire-code advice.
She wants to be able to add another table.
And there's plenty of room.
So we're hoping you can pull some strings at the department and make that happen? Yeah.
For some legal advice? Sure.
Okay, I rolled through two stop signs near the duck pond in Walden Park.
Next thing I know, I get this summons to appear before the mountains recreation and conservation authority.
Yeah, the only reason people go to that pond is to get handies from people they shouldn't be getting handies from.
- Am I right? - Hey, no judgment.
- We're pro-handy.
- Me, too.
I proposed to my fiancée by that pond.
We want to get married there.
Oh, that's sweet.
It's actually the pond at Griffith Park where I think you get the handies.
Tell you what, if you rush this inspection, we will get that ticket dismissed by this weekend.
Well, great.
My court date's - Wow.
- That's soon.
- Done.
- Awesome.
We're on it.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go see which little piggy went to the market.
I like feet.
Feet freak me out, dude.
Hey.
Walk with me.
Kid, you're getting called up to the majors.
- You're getting in the game.
- Great.
- Yeah, the fishing game.
- What? Look, any attorney can make it into the courtroom, but who gets a shot at wildlife court? And, no pressure, but this firm's survival depends on a victory.
Okay.
Uh, when? In about an hour.
Anita: Hello.
Good morning.
Okay, so your client rolled through two stop signs on May 18th, triggering photo sensors.
The proof is indisputable.
How do you plead? I am not entering a plea, sir.
Well, then, we'll enter one for you.
Actually, uh, park bylaw 78-B entitles me the right to obtain pertinent information in order to defend my client.
All members of the MRCA panel should expect subpoenas.
I intend to depose anyone who's ever reviewed footage from the security cameras posted near the stop signs.
I will also subpoena all footage from the motion-active wildlife cameras in the park.
Wildlife cameras? Excuse me.
What law firm are you with? Jared: Fantastic.
You dropped the hammer on them.
That is nice.
Let everyone who hears the name Infeld-Daniels, Franklin and Bash kneel like superman before Zod.
Good job.
Well, I actually gave them my old business card from Hartman-Frank.
But I put my new phone number on it.
Quick thinker.
Do you have any more of them? I mean, you know, just in case.
Just in case.
Well, I want new business cards from the law firm of Infeld-Daniels, Franklin and Bash.
- [Telephone beeps.]
- Yeah.
Woman: Mark Johnson on two.
Mark, we have some outstanding news for you.
You don't have to pay the fine and the misdemeanor charge was dropped.
Mark: Oh, thanks, you guys.
Really.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- You bet.
So where are we at with our friend's restaurant? Well, Three Olives can definitely expand their capacity by two people.
Yes.
Thank you, Mark.
But we found asbestos in the kitchen ceiling that needs to be removed.
Okay.
Had to shut them down for repairs, but they can re-open in three weeks with increased capacity.
Mark.
Whoa, whoa, mark.
Three weeks? - Sorry, guys.
- Sorry? I'm just doing my job.
Dude! Thank you, Mark.
- Why are you thanking him? - Hello? We got no dinner for Karp, no Dodgers tickets for Nate.
No roof over our heads.
[Sighs.]
Karp wanted the food at Three Olives.
He doesn't care about the stupid napkins that they make into swans.
I thought they were sailboats.
So we bring the restaurant to Karp.
It's not about the restaurant.
It's about the food.
First things first.
They're sailboats, all right? You have a new exhibit? - Yes.
- We do.
Your Honor, we'd like to admit into evidence a photo from 10 years ago Dr.
Beckmann with his French girlfriend.
Jared: Now, this photo proves that Dr.
Beckmann was unfaithful to his spouse.
He was cheating on his wife with his wife, which invalidates the prenup.
Cheating on his wife with his wife? Oh, wait.
I forgot.
I'm in the room with Franklin and Bash.
Okay, first of all, I want to thank you.
It is rare after 22 years of presiding over divorces that I get to hear something fresh.
And preposterous.
You're welcome.
Now, this photo shows that Dr.
Beckmann was trying to turn Chelsea into his French girlfriend of the past.
Now, Your Honor, you can see that Dr.
Beckmann's much younger and he's with a woman who looks nearly identical to our client.
Your Honor, it's a scanned photo or a screen grab.
Who knows? Where's this mystery witness? We don't know, Your Honor.
I see.
How do you plan on authenticating the photo? We are glad you asked.
If the court would be so kind to give us a few more days, we think we can prove its "authecticity.
" - Authen.
Authen.
- Authecticity.
- Authenticity.
- One more time.
- Authenticity.
- Authenticity.
Or Dr.
Beckmann could just verify it.
I mean, it's so much faster.
- What? - Yeah.
Th can't force my client to help make their case.
I agree.
You'll have to prove infidelity some other way.
This photo is inadmissible, and if you try to get it in, I will rule in Dr.
Beckmann's favor on the spot.
Am I clear? Is that a dare? You with the dares.
I'm just saying, it sounds like a dare.
The last time we dared, we ended up making out.
- I'm not g - Yeah.
It was hot.
- What? - Nothing.
Uh, Your Honor, the, uh, extension.
Four days would really give us a How about 24 hours? Court will reconvene at 2:30 tomorrow.
Just once, can this job be easy? Thank you.
Doctor, based on your extensive experience in treating sex addiction, can you explain to the panel how an otherwise-stable individual behaves when engaged in sexually addictive behavior? There's a complete lapse of judgment when the sex addict attempts to alleviate their feelings of isolation.
And in your sexpert opinion, is Mr.
Infeld a sex addict? Oh, one of the most prolific I've ever seen.
He's agreed to let me co-write a book about him.
Oh, I'm going to mention you two boys in the acknowledgments.
Um, not now, Stanton, but thanks.
Besides a paid witness with an obvious financial interest to Mr.
Infeld, do you have anyone who can testify to the devious, reckless sexual encounters they've had with Stanton Infeld over the years? We do not.
I see.
- We have 641.
- Sorry? There are more, Your Honor, but, um, my memory isn't what it used to be.
I do apologize.
This board is not going to allow 641 people to share sordid details How about five? You choose.
Pick your favorites, Your Honor.
What was the most reckless place you've ever had sex with Stanton Infeld? The backdoor Mm.
Of my grandmother's beach house.
And did you ever feel like he was out of control? You didn't go to Stanton to be in control.
We once had sex on a shipwreck That was supposed to be our little secret, Lynette.
Yes.
A real igloo.
Man: Transatlantic flight.
Mile-high club was always on my bucket list.
I owe him.
We're even now, Monte.
Thank you.
Woman: We've heard enough.
This board is more than convinced that your deviant behavior clouded your judgment, Mr.
Infeld.
I agree, Your Honor.
Wholeheartedly agree.
After you seek the appropriate professional help, we will reinstate you.
Thank you.
[Applause.]
Yeah, we know.
We're the ones that got you shut down.
- What do you want us to say? - Here we go.
- Hi.
- You're the lawyers? - Yeah.
- Yes.
Remember, in the long run, we're gonna make you a lot of money - Increased capacity.
- And, at least for a few weeks, you got more time on the water.
- Joss told us that you surf.
- Right? Ugh.
What do you want? Would you cook a private dinner Friday night for two people? - What? - And we we can't pay you.
You offer me no money after you shut my place down? Wait, wait.
Have you ever surfed Third Point? Third Point Best surf spot in Malibu.
Yeah, I know it.
We'd like to give you our beach house for the weekend.
Surf till you can't surf anymore right on Third Point.
Well, my family's coming in this weekend.
- Family? That's great.
- Love family.
Yeah, we got plenty of room.
Third Point.
For a private dinner Friday night.
All right.
Let's do it.
- That's great.
- We'll be in touch.
- Okay? - All right.
- We'll get you info.
Thanks, man.
- All right.
Where should we stay this weekend? I say we go camping.
You know, we get the tents, the fishing rods, the Coleman, just head up to Yosemite.
- Dude, we don't own any of those things, - [Cellphone rings.]
And you couldn't open up a sleeping bag.
That's true.
All right, Karp is a go for his private dinner with Chef Sebastian.
His assistant asks, "where should they drop off the Dodger tickets?" Yes.
We did it.
We bought ourselves a few more days, which means We can sleep at the firm this weekend.
There you go.
It's a victory for us.
I wonder what victory tastes like.
Cold beer.
[Door closes.]
Except you have court tomorrow.
Oh, little Miss Buzzkill.
So I was thinking that maybe we could find a picture of Chelsea before surgery, then through CGI, show how dramatically he changed her.
That way, the prenup's gonna come back into play.
W-w-w-we can't crack it unless we use the picture of the doctor's French ex.
But we are gonna crack the doc on the stand, 'cause he trusts us not to screw him over.
He might open up to us.
And we're gonna hope for a little leeway from our judge.
So no CGI? Not in the budget.
But we are gonna have you make a Cosmo run.
You guys are gonna drink now? Mm-hmm.
First of all, way ahead of you.
Second of all, he means Cosmo the magazine.
Also, get some Marie Claire and Instyle, please.
Glamour? Uh, we got plenty of Glamour.
It was a raffle.
All right.
Hey, is this gonna be like the rabbit thing? Better.
Except this has very little chance of working.
All right.
Dr.
Beckmann, I'd like to ask you to lend your considerable aesthetic experience to help us understand beauty.
Now, in this box, there are Nose, eyes, mouth, hair.
They'll enable us to see a rendition of beauty from your professional opinion.
Your Honor, I don't know where to start other than to ask Mr.
Bash for a play date.
Mr.
Bash, you have 60 seconds to tell us what this has to do with the breach of a prenup.
You got it, Your Honor.
Dr.
Beckmann, using this blank canvas, give us your professional opinion of what is beautiful Somewhat similar to how you might show a prospective patient.
Uh, if I may? You may.
[Sighs.]
Well, e-e-every culture has their own definition, but I guess I would try I'm just eyeballing distances here.
Beauty is symmetry, perfect alignment.
I mean, if I had my tools We have Franklin and Bash.
[Both pretend to laugh.]
- Dr.
Beckmann.
- Time's up.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
Did someone win a judicial appointment in the last 45 seconds? Not that I'm aware of.
Stand down, counselor.
Jared: I got to say, you do great work.
Where do you practice? Wait.
Don't answer that.
Oh, my God.
Objection.
Your Honor, you told Franklin and Bash not to bring that photo of his French ex-girlfriend into court.
We didn't.
Dr.
Beckmann did.
It's Melanie.
The odds of him picking the 5 correct main features out of 16, Your Honor, is like It's like 80-1.
You took 16 and put it together 5 times.
Right.
It's not 80? No, it is 80.
The odds are 1,048,000-1.
Thank you.
Yeah, what she said.
She's with us.
Judge: Dr.
Beckmann's creation stays and the previously excluded photograph is now admissible for comparison purposes.
I don't think that's gonna be necessary, Your Honor.
Dr.
Beckmann, does your patient, uh, remind you of anyone you know? Chelsea, honey, I had no idea.
I'm sorry.
Your Honor, can we take a short recess? I think that's a good idea.
We're in recess.
What's going on? - Prenup just went away.
- We won.
Oh, my.
Thank you.
I'll take one of those.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, Nick's watching.
Nick's watching.
Nick's watching.
[Clears throat.]
[Chelsea sighs.]
You want it? - Hell yeah.
- No.
[Chuckles.]
Or you could hang it back in your office stick around.
For a few months with a six-month option to stay.
[Sighs.]
That should cover my last month's rent.
Well, it doesn't.
Oh, well.
Sue me.
I'm moving to Paris.
Gonna be the areola king of Europe.
[Elevator dings.]
Maybe knock out a few cleft palates on the weekends for operation smile.
Oh, that's nice.
Take care.
- Anita: Bye.
- Jared: Bye.
Dude, where should we hang this? [Engine shuts off.]
And we gave Sebastian our house for the weekend.
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Grunts.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
Oh, uh, boys! Over here.
Over here.
Hey.
Guys.
Hi.
So, I heard that you were making out with each other at Three Olives.
Okay, we weren't making out.
That's fantastic, and, by the way, hardly surprising.
So you can drop the pretense of separate bedrooms now, because your bunk bed awaits.
Oh.
Great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Did you, uh Did you bring people back from your sex-addicts group? Oh.
Yes.
Ben and Evelyn.
Oh, uh, sorry.
No last names.
Oh, and there is Thor.
However, he seems to have disappeared.
Sebastian, two more for dinner.
How long before the sumptuous buffet? Stanton, the tortellini is stuffed by hand, and I only got two of them.
Hey, "stuffed by hand.
" [Chuckles.]
Listen, good news.
I found the most beautiful house.
Great news.
Ah, unfortunately, I can't move in till the 18th.
So one more glorious month together.
I'm on top tonight.
No, you were on top last night.
I'm on top tonight.
Skee-ball.
Ticket envy.
It's understandable.
No, man.
Your off-the-wall carom shot is just wrong.
It goes against skee-ball principle.
You got to go straight ahead.
Our whole lives are carom shots.
[Scoffs.]
[Opera music blaring.]
Hey.
Ah, you're up.
What are you doing here? [Music stops.]
I slipped in late last night.
You boys were out cold.
What? I can't drop by the house that I own The one that you rent at a very favorable rate.
No, you can.
It's just w W-w-we would rather straighten up.
Oh, boys, please.
Don't be intimidated by its size.
Remember, men of my generation were held up to a far more rigorous natural selection.
I mean, just to make it to childbirth was a feat of Darwinistic proportions.
Our mothers smoked and drank.
We were raised in houses of ill repute and fed dark liquor and uncured meats.
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
- I can't see out of my left eye.
- Geez.
What's the latest on getting my law license reinstated? We can't do it until you admit the truth.
What? That Damien helped Rachel embezzle millions of our clients' money.
- Yes.
- I've told you, I-I just don't want my nephew involved in this.
But he did it.
If Karp hadn't gotten drunk and slept with Rachel, she wouldn't have gotten the codes to access the client accounts.
I want to look forward, not back.
Until I get my license again, I'm gonna need my master bedroom back and the guardian lions returned to the meditation room.
Well, if that's the meditation room, where does that leave us? I don't know.
Suppose you could always bunk together in the tradition of Slim and George from "Of Mice and Men.
" You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna work extra hard to get your hearing pulled up.
Yeah, like, to maybe yesterday.
Good.
Excellent.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to keep the old heart rate up.
- Absolutely.
- Go for it.
We got to get Stanton back in his office.
I was gonna say we need to get him out of our house.
Well, technically, it's his house.
Correction we got to get Stanton out of his house.
[Sighs.]
[Rock music plays.]
Ooh, what a mixture Such a vivid picture Ooh, what a mixture If I must say so myself That was amazing.
Your closing was incredible.
That speech was 1/3 "St.
Elmo's Fire" and 2/3 "Hunger Games"? When Jared put that rabbit in the grandmother's lap, I lost it.
I just never expected that in a tax-evasion case.
Any excuse to use magic.
So, when's it my turn? You know, I just can't wait to get in the courtroom and learn underneath you guys.
- [Cellphone rings.]
- You want that one? I stopped playing t-ball when I turned 30.
Oh, we just lost James Kenner as a client.
He won't trust his business to anyone but Stanton Infeld.
Well, Stanton doesn't have his license.
We do.
I understand that.
Oh, look who it is.
Crap.
I think it's pronounced "Karp.
" That's what I said.
If it isn't our favorite backstabber.
I think there's a no-animal policy at the courthouse.
Oh, it's a rabbit.
They used it in closing.
I was referring to them.
Damien Karp.
Hi.
Anita Haskins.
I've heard a lot a you.
Don't look him in the eye.
He'll ck out your soul like a dementor.
Is the, uh the cute, little bunny rabbit Is that your new mascot or just another sideshow? It just won the case.
Kind of like we do every time we go against you.
Well, real law, the kind that's practiced by real lawyers, does not require gimmicks.
If you accepted a job with these two street minstrels, you must've gotten your degree at a mall kiosk.
She did.
A little kiosk called Stanford.
And if it wasn't for Infeld, you'd be out on the streets.
He saved your ass.
Please.
I carried his ass.
I carried your asses.
[Cellphone dings.]
You aren't worthy of being anywhere near Infeld's ass.
Ours, maybe.
Why are we talking about asses? No idea.
Is this the kind of scintillating legal repartee that you were expecting when you were at Stanford? Hey, we just signed Jim Kenner.
Well, turn out the lights of your firm on the way out.
Very nice to meet you, Sabrina.
- Anita.
- Whatever.
When can I go up against that guy? Soon as we're done with him.
[Indistinct conversation.]
There's a woman who came in asking for a divorce attorney.
Yes! You've got to let me on this one, please.
- Easy.
- Where is she? In the conference room.
Bogey 10:00.
Dr.
Beckmann and our property manager.
- Ooh.
- What about the case? Uh, Anita, can you babysit our new client? Our client? Yes.
I'll start the client intake.
I'll get the basic information Okay, just go.
Fine.
Please, go.
If Nate finds out that the doctor's been paying us rent under the table, he'll evict us.
Uh, Jess? Code red, level "G.
" Go, go, go, go.
Nate, you're needed down in the parking garage Emergency.
Again? What happened? The valet damaged a client's Lamborghini.
They won't leave until they talk to the property manager.
Doctor.
Doctor.
How you doing, huh? Great suit.
Great suit.
What's going on? Turn over here and cough.
That was our property manager that you were talking to, and, you know, he kind of frowns upon us subleasing this space.
Especially to a cosmetic surgeon in a law firm.
He's picky like that.
Don't worry.
We were talking baseball.
Oh, big series this weekend Dodgers-Giants.
All right.
Great.
Okay.
Hey, uh, thanks for the urinal advice.
Yeah, that's where I do my best thinking.
More of a shower guy myself.
Good to know.
He said, "it's not enough to have a specialty.
You need a sub-specialty.
" He's brilliant.
Yeah, we really got to go.
We got someone waiting.
I'm gonna be the areola king of the West Side.
- Sorry? - Go on.
Finish.
Well, any plastic surgeon in the country can do a generic boob job.
I'm gonna master an intricate anatomical niche One that only I can tailor.
- And improve.
- And enlarge.
I was gonna say rejuvenate.
- We have a client.
- Yeah.
We really should go.
An areola specialist.
Finally.
Right? I love him.
I don't want to divorce him.
I mean, no little girl dreams of becoming a divorcée in encino.
I have to do it.
He's created a situation where I can never measure up to his impossible standards.
- We're gonna help you - Jared: Yeah.
But I-I can't imagine there's a standard you don't measure up to or surpass.
[Chuckles.]
She's still married.
Technically.
My husband is very wealthy.
Neat.
That's great.
Under California law, so are you.
No, I'm not.
I signed a prenup that will leave me with nothing.
There's a fidelity clause, but he's been faithful so far as I know.
Contracts are made to be broken.
We got this.
You haven't seen this contract yet.
Contract hasn't seen us.
The good part is, you came to a reputable law firm like ours.
Hey, uh, you know what? Why don't we start with headlines, hmm? The headlines are that we've been married for less than four years, so the prenup says that we both leave the marriage with exactly what we came into it with.
For me, that's student loans and $3,000 in credit-card debt.
You signed away your community property rights? I was in love.
I thought that he loved me and he would take care of me.
Well, let us take care of you now, Chelsea.
Uh-huh.
How? That's our job.
[Chuckles.]
The important thing is, we're on your team now and we're gonna win together.
Together.
So, what are you gonna do on your own? Well, I have a degree in marketing.
So I'll cobble together some part-time work until I find something that fits.
Well, call any time.
Any time.
Don't hesitate, okay? - Thank you.
- All right.
- I feel better already.
- Take care.
See ya.
Honey? I thought you'd left already.
Come back inside.
Let's talk.
From now on, I think you should talk to my lawyers, Franklin and Bash.
I'll call you later.
Her lawyers? I pay you rent and now you're handling my wife's divorce? We didn't know Chelsea was your wife when she came in.
No idea.
She came in foot traffic.
Yeah, she was a walk-in client.
She was just here.
We had a fight.
Okay, look.
We're gonna tell her that we can't take the case.
Yeah, we're not gonna take the case.
- We're not gonna take the case.
- We're done.
Okay? All right? We're sorry.
Okay.
Wait.
I'm gonna end up payingfor Chelsea's lawyers anyhow, so it might as well be someone I know.
And you guys wouldn't screw me over.
- No.
Pfft.
We're buds.
- Never.
I mean, I-I gave you the whole areola idea, remember? He gave you the booby thing.
I can't make her not divorce me, but you could put in a good word.
Come again? Maybe you could convince Chelsea to reconsider us splitting up.
Oh, yeah, that's not really in our job description.
If you cross me, I do have a pirated sublease that I could break at any time.
Or I could rat you out to your property manager.
Okay, the blackmail thing is kind of spoiling the can-do spirit here, Nick.
Oh, look.
Here he is now.
Excuse us for a moment.
- Nate.
- Hey.
Guys, this is the second false alarm in my parking garage in four days, and both times, I was told to go down there by your intern.
Huh? That's weird.
That is weird.
Uh, we have your rent money, but we're gonna need to exercise our grace period.
You already passed the grace period.
Grace period on the grace period? [Chuckles.]
Unless there's something from us you want in trade.
Well, your firm does own Dodgers season tickets right behind home plate.
Seen you guys sitting there on TV.
You drink a lot of beer.
Well, some games, it's hard to get through sober.
Oh, sorry it's not a journey cover band.
Me, too.
It's my wife's birthday, and she would get a real kick out of being on TV.
Yeah, Nate, uh, the thing is You got it.
When? Friday night.
Giants-Dodgers Kershaw vs.
Lincecum.
And then you'll give us a two-week extension on our rent? One week.
Sold.
Tickets will be in your office by Friday.
Yep.
Look for them on Friday.
Dude, you do remember we sold the firm's seats three months ago to make Rent.
I know.
But before we sold the season, the rest of the tickets were claimed by employees and clients.
So maybe we can get them back.
Who's got the seats? Karp.
[Chuckles.]
Great plan.
You got a better one? Wait a minute.
You want to tell the state bar that I'm a sex addict? - Genius, right? - You were reckless.
You exercised terrible judgment when you slept with Rachel King.
You are a very, very sick man perverted.
Very perverted.
Like R.
Kelly perverted.
But you recognize you got a problem and you want treatment.
And after which, we'll ask that you be reinstated, and Karp's name never comes up.
Ahh.
Well, I It's a refreshing strategy.
I'll give you that.
And, you know, I'm rather touched that you went so far afield.
Well, sir, we owe you our livelihood.
We owe you our lives, really.
And the firm you built needs you back, because our biggest clients want you and no one else.
I'm twisted.
I'm a slave to my lustful impulses.
[Grunts.]
Y-yeah.
[Chuckles.]
Where were you the day you signed the prenup, Chelsea? I was at Nick's exam room, the old one on Beverly.
We were discussing my next surgery.
He was looking through this thing, the The illuminated magnifier.
I needed to examined the hypertrophic scarring on her cheek bone.
Well, it sounds less like a doctor/patient dynamic and more like a svengali choke hold.
Objection.
Argumentative.
He literally had knife to my throat.
Objection.
Are you saying he was threatening you? Do you get paid by the objection? Because Civil Code 1569 says that whether a party is under duress is based on the totality of the circumstances.
A scalpel to her throat It was her cheek.
[Sighs.]
Where are Franklin and Bash? He was always insisting that his way was best, from how to make a kale smoothie to where we should vacation.
It had to be France.
No matter how many times I told him I wasn't interested in going.
And we never went.
You won, okay? She won? You're trying to leave her without a penny.
I know.
"Objection.
" All yours.
Mrs.
Beckmann, you claim my client exerted total control when you were working him over, weren't you? No.
You wanted free surgeries Three, in fact And you got them.
Peter: Objection.
I don't know what he just said, but it seems a little tense in here.
Very tense in here.
- Glad you could make it.
- Yeah, hey.
Chelsea, lovely to see you.
Is that a new haircut? 'Cause I got to tell you, I'm digging it.
Totally.
It's like Jason Statham.
I suggest that we break for the day.
Why? We just got here.
You and your client should think about a settlement.
This prenup is not valid, and your client violated every medical-ethics law in the book.
I'm sure the A.
M.
A.
would be interested in hearing about that.
Ooh.
[Inhales deeply.]
I need a moment with these two.
I don't think you should.
I'll be fine.
I thought this was gonna be easy.
- It will be.
- Yeah.
Did you talk to her about rethinking our divorce? So far, she hasn't been overly receptive.
Maybe if this one would stop hitting on her.
I'm not.
I'm just - Irresistible? - Exactly.
Thank you.
On the, uh, awkweird side, uh, we're gonna need a rent check by Friday.
Nice.
Hitting on the wife of the one tenant we need to pay his rent.
What are t w-what makes you think I was hitting on her? Kissing the hand of a client during a settlement conference? Or maybe I was trying to show Chelsea, as well as the good doctor, that she is a beautiful woman who does not need to be operated on, and she should be valued for how she looks and who she is.
You were hitting on her a little bit.
- Tiny bit.
- Nice.
Okay.
[Chuckles.]
Good work over there, but Really good work.
Yeah, but, uh, is is there any way that you can Kick ass but still be nice about it? See, there's a big picture we have to worry about.
- Big picture? - Big picture.
Yeah, well, see, Nick's practice provides a valuable revenue stream.
And Chelsea's our client.
Rock beats scissors? But paper beats rock and pays our salaries.
Unless you want to work for free.
I already do.
And if this goes to court, can I argue? No.
Um, you're you're not ready.
I'm sorry.
But could you I have to j excuse me.
It's a shame, you know? It's it's it's the end of a marriage.
But is it me, or do I sense that you still love him? No.
It's all you.
Chelsea, you know, divorce can be a bitter battle and it's filled with revenge tactics and no one wins.
And I get that you're pissed at Nick.
He can be a douche.
- Big douche.
- Big douche.
Interrupting you a lot.
Operating on you a lot.
But he still loves you.
Are you are you trying to get us back together? - No.
- No.
No.
But not not no.
I just believe in the institution of marriage.
Call me a romantic.
No, don't call him a romantic.
I came to you because Nick told me that you guys never lose, and I can't afford to lose this one.
Maybe I should hire counsel who is actually looking out for me Someone who really is on my team.
We're gonna have to do this one straight up for our client.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Peter: Just try one of these.
I don't want any of those.
Try it.
No.
It doesn't taste like food.
- Seriously? - Tastes like styrofoam.
- Hey.
Karp! - Hey.
- Wow, man.
- Look at you.
You wear the hell out of a two-button suit.
Working out all the time now? Okay, Bash and Franklin coming with compliments? Yes, I I will definitely fall for whatever it is that you need.
- That's just hurtful.
- Ow.
Ow.
I've got my new client, Jim Kenner, waiting.
Oh, wait.
He used to be with your firm, right? Hey, if we have to lose a client.
Think it's a little more than one.
Just happy it's to you.
[Chuckles.]
Here's the deal.
We're trying to do a solid for a buddy who wants to see Kershaw pitch this weekend.
He's had a run of tough luck lately.
His his girl just dumped him.
Boring.
I'm not giving you my tickets.
Go get some on Stubhub.
We would, but these particular tickets Location, location, location.
Mm-hmm.
They're right behind home plate.
Home plate.
Like he knows where that is.
You don't even know if the baseball's wound or stuffed.
Do you know who does know the answer to that question? My new client, Jim Kenner.
Now, you guys need something, which means I get to drive this.
If you can get me into Three Olives Grill for 8:00 P.
M.
on Friday night, I will consider giving you the tickets.
Three Olives rezzy.
Done.
Three Olives has a six-month waiting list.
For other people.
[Chuckles.]
You got it.
Good luck.
"Three Olives rezzy.
" What do you mean, "rezzy"? Why don't you kissy my ass? You have any other great ideas? "Hey, Karp, look at the way you wear that suit.
Want to get some dinner?" Your husband says your nose is what? Bumpy? Big? He says he can make it perfect.
Let's let's try to see it from his point of view.
I mean, you are a beautiful woman, and - Come on.
- Objection.
- This isn't happy hour, Mr.
Bash.
- Easy, Clooney.
Guys, just trying to do my job here, okay? Dr.
Beckmann's surgeries left you with no scarring, no long-term health problems, so what's wrong? I never wanted to be changed this much.
I didn't think I needed to be.
I no longer look like anyone in my family.
Lawyer: Objection.
Aside from trying to engender sympathy, what does any of this have to do with the validity of the prenup? What it shows is that Dr.
Beckmann [Clears throat.]
While a fine, skilled surgeon and a good man.
- Great man.
- Great man.
He overrode Chelsea's feelings on many things her nose.
And the control he exerted over it is a symbol of their entire marriage, including the prenup.
Overruled.
Her testimony will stand.
Any further questions, Mr.
Bash? No, Your Honor.
We're good.
Mrs.
Beckmann, you testified your husband exerted unfair control over you, that you felt you were coerced into signing the prenup.
Yes.
On February 11, 2010, did you go alone to the law office of Jackson & Mandelbaum for legal advice on this prenuptial agreement? Yes, but Are you aware that the ability to consult with counsel is the strongest argument against duress? Objection, Your Honor.
Calls for legal expertise.
Sustained.
You failed to reveal that you'd seen a lawyer.
Isn't that right? - I forgot.
But Nick said - You answered the question.
Your Honor, Mrs.
Beckmann knew exactly what she was doing at the time she signed the contract.
Based on Mrs.
Beckmann's testimony, I'm ruling there was no duress.
Barring any further defense, I'm inclined to find the prenuptial agreement stands.
We're in recess until tomorrow, at which time, I'll make my ruling.
I met with that lawyer for five minutes.
He was a friend of Nick's.
He didn't even charge me.
Well, you're paying for it now.
This was in an igloo? And you'll testify to that? Well, that that that's all we need.
Thank you.
- Dude.
- Huh? Infeld had sex with an inuit woman Get this 14 times in one night.
[Scoffs.]
That's not as impressive as you think.
It's the north pole.
A night there lasts like six months.
Good point.
Because you're beautiful, and you're perfect in my eyes Because you're wonderful Aah! I did not hear the door.
No, sorry.
We just, uh Here.
L-let us help you with this.
No.
D-d-d-d-don't.
Don't.
If you get hurt, I'll be in trouble and lawyers.
You're not gonna get in trouble.
We're lawyers.
We're just looking for Chef Sebastian.
Is he in trouble? No.
Nothing like that.
We're actually fans.
Sebastian's not here.
There's a southwest swell.
- Oh, he's a surfer.
- We're we're surfers.
So what? Uh, I feel like we got off to a rough start.
Let's start by helping you pick this up.
Hmmmmmmm.
Truth.
- Oh, come on.
- All right, she's allowed.
Okay.
If it were tastefully done and you had final say on the published image, would you pose naked? Yes.
- Yes! There you go.
- Good answer.
Attagirl.
Yeah.
- Your turn.
- Okay, come on.
Dare.
Oh, yeah.
- Bring it.
- There he goes.
Kiss your partner.
- Who? - Him.
- Me? - Where? On the mouth.
[Exhales sharply.]
Dodgers tickets.
- Fine.
- Okay.
Give me a second.
Just.
- Yeah.
Ready? - Yeah.
Go the other way.
[Both stammering.]
You got a big head.
Just that way.
Okay, just don't close your eyes.
- Don't close your eyes.
- I'm not.
Look me in the eyes.
[Laughing.]
Why do you want me to look you in the eyes? 'Cause it's just look me Don't close your eyes.
[Laughing.]
Okay.
I Big head.
Just grab it and do it.
[Sighs.]
- Okay.
- All right.
Still can't fit you in for Friday night.
What?! You just made You made me kiss him.
Come on.
Was it that bad? It was fine.
That's not the point.
Well, if I could add another table, I would, but I can't.
You can squeeze in another table, because we have a friend at the fire marshal's office.
Of course.
Yeah.
It's not my call, but If you could add two patrons a night, I think Sebastian would sign off.
- Done.
- Great.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's this? A good reason to drop Chelsea as a client.
Another one? Our P.
I.
Dan Mundy found it.
It's Chelsea and Nick 10 years ago.
Whoa! Time has not been kind to Dr.
Beckmann.
Peter: But it has been to Chelsea.
Yeah, she looks the same.
Why would she lie about having him change the way she looks? Especially something that's so easy to disprove.
Well, she hid the fact she consulted a lawyer.
Now this.
Well, at least we won't have to worry about pissing off our tenant by winning the case.
That's not me.
Well, who is it? I don't know, but look at where they are.
Anita: Looks like Paris.
- You've never been to France? - No.
Well, you sure look like this woman now.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
[Sighs.]
This is me four years ago.
Whoa.
Dr.
Beckmann isn't just the areola king of the West Side.
He's Dr.
Frankenstein.
He's been trying to turn me into an old girlfriend.
Chelsea, we're sorry.
This is my face.
It's what I present to the world.
It's my identity.
[Sighs.]
Yeah, well, it's not enough to break a prenup.
No, infidelity is the only thing that's gonna do that.
And, unfortunately, just role-playing as his old girlfriend isn't considered cheating.
But is it role-playing if he's doing it surgically? Surgery is permanent.
He cheated on you with you.
Stanton: I said to Jorge, "go back to your roots.
" So he decided to take the name Francis and then he heard my confession.
And, dare I say, the penance that his holiness handed down would've broken a Navy seal, never mind a jesuit.
[Both laugh.]
- Oh, hello, Jared.
- Hey.
Getting, uh, ready for your big day tomorrow? State-bar hearing.
Absolutely.
I'm feeding my sexual addiction, trying to get into character.
Good.
Oh, do you know Tanya here? She has an extra toe on either foot.
You want to see? I don't want to.
I feel I need to.
[Chuckles.]
And how are your digits? - Pyro? I ca - I know.
Hey, look who it is Fire marshal Johnson.
Hey, Mark, how's it going? This is Tanya.
She has 12 toes.
- Tanya: Hi.
- Hello.
And goodbye.
We're gonna go look at them.
Whoa, dude.
We have a favor to ask.
- Oh, yeah? What? - Right.
We have a friend who owns Three Olives Grill.
- Never been.
- Nah, neither have we, but she needs some fire-code advice.
She wants to be able to add another table.
And there's plenty of room.
So we're hoping you can pull some strings at the department and make that happen? Yeah.
For some legal advice? Sure.
Okay, I rolled through two stop signs near the duck pond in Walden Park.
Next thing I know, I get this summons to appear before the mountains recreation and conservation authority.
Yeah, the only reason people go to that pond is to get handies from people they shouldn't be getting handies from.
- Am I right? - Hey, no judgment.
- We're pro-handy.
- Me, too.
I proposed to my fiancée by that pond.
We want to get married there.
Oh, that's sweet.
It's actually the pond at Griffith Park where I think you get the handies.
Tell you what, if you rush this inspection, we will get that ticket dismissed by this weekend.
Well, great.
My court date's - Wow.
- That's soon.
- Done.
- Awesome.
We're on it.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go see which little piggy went to the market.
I like feet.
Feet freak me out, dude.
Hey.
Walk with me.
Kid, you're getting called up to the majors.
- You're getting in the game.
- Great.
- Yeah, the fishing game.
- What? Look, any attorney can make it into the courtroom, but who gets a shot at wildlife court? And, no pressure, but this firm's survival depends on a victory.
Okay.
Uh, when? In about an hour.
Anita: Hello.
Good morning.
Okay, so your client rolled through two stop signs on May 18th, triggering photo sensors.
The proof is indisputable.
How do you plead? I am not entering a plea, sir.
Well, then, we'll enter one for you.
Actually, uh, park bylaw 78-B entitles me the right to obtain pertinent information in order to defend my client.
All members of the MRCA panel should expect subpoenas.
I intend to depose anyone who's ever reviewed footage from the security cameras posted near the stop signs.
I will also subpoena all footage from the motion-active wildlife cameras in the park.
Wildlife cameras? Excuse me.
What law firm are you with? Jared: Fantastic.
You dropped the hammer on them.
That is nice.
Let everyone who hears the name Infeld-Daniels, Franklin and Bash kneel like superman before Zod.
Good job.
Well, I actually gave them my old business card from Hartman-Frank.
But I put my new phone number on it.
Quick thinker.
Do you have any more of them? I mean, you know, just in case.
Just in case.
Well, I want new business cards from the law firm of Infeld-Daniels, Franklin and Bash.
- [Telephone beeps.]
- Yeah.
Woman: Mark Johnson on two.
Mark, we have some outstanding news for you.
You don't have to pay the fine and the misdemeanor charge was dropped.
Mark: Oh, thanks, you guys.
Really.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- You bet.
So where are we at with our friend's restaurant? Well, Three Olives can definitely expand their capacity by two people.
Yes.
Thank you, Mark.
But we found asbestos in the kitchen ceiling that needs to be removed.
Okay.
Had to shut them down for repairs, but they can re-open in three weeks with increased capacity.
Mark.
Whoa, whoa, mark.
Three weeks? - Sorry, guys.
- Sorry? I'm just doing my job.
Dude! Thank you, Mark.
- Why are you thanking him? - Hello? We got no dinner for Karp, no Dodgers tickets for Nate.
No roof over our heads.
[Sighs.]
Karp wanted the food at Three Olives.
He doesn't care about the stupid napkins that they make into swans.
I thought they were sailboats.
So we bring the restaurant to Karp.
It's not about the restaurant.
It's about the food.
First things first.
They're sailboats, all right? You have a new exhibit? - Yes.
- We do.
Your Honor, we'd like to admit into evidence a photo from 10 years ago Dr.
Beckmann with his French girlfriend.
Jared: Now, this photo proves that Dr.
Beckmann was unfaithful to his spouse.
He was cheating on his wife with his wife, which invalidates the prenup.
Cheating on his wife with his wife? Oh, wait.
I forgot.
I'm in the room with Franklin and Bash.
Okay, first of all, I want to thank you.
It is rare after 22 years of presiding over divorces that I get to hear something fresh.
And preposterous.
You're welcome.
Now, this photo shows that Dr.
Beckmann was trying to turn Chelsea into his French girlfriend of the past.
Now, Your Honor, you can see that Dr.
Beckmann's much younger and he's with a woman who looks nearly identical to our client.
Your Honor, it's a scanned photo or a screen grab.
Who knows? Where's this mystery witness? We don't know, Your Honor.
I see.
How do you plan on authenticating the photo? We are glad you asked.
If the court would be so kind to give us a few more days, we think we can prove its "authecticity.
" - Authen.
Authen.
- Authecticity.
- Authenticity.
- One more time.
- Authenticity.
- Authenticity.
Or Dr.
Beckmann could just verify it.
I mean, it's so much faster.
- What? - Yeah.
Th can't force my client to help make their case.
I agree.
You'll have to prove infidelity some other way.
This photo is inadmissible, and if you try to get it in, I will rule in Dr.
Beckmann's favor on the spot.
Am I clear? Is that a dare? You with the dares.
I'm just saying, it sounds like a dare.
The last time we dared, we ended up making out.
- I'm not g - Yeah.
It was hot.
- What? - Nothing.
Uh, Your Honor, the, uh, extension.
Four days would really give us a How about 24 hours? Court will reconvene at 2:30 tomorrow.
Just once, can this job be easy? Thank you.
Doctor, based on your extensive experience in treating sex addiction, can you explain to the panel how an otherwise-stable individual behaves when engaged in sexually addictive behavior? There's a complete lapse of judgment when the sex addict attempts to alleviate their feelings of isolation.
And in your sexpert opinion, is Mr.
Infeld a sex addict? Oh, one of the most prolific I've ever seen.
He's agreed to let me co-write a book about him.
Oh, I'm going to mention you two boys in the acknowledgments.
Um, not now, Stanton, but thanks.
Besides a paid witness with an obvious financial interest to Mr.
Infeld, do you have anyone who can testify to the devious, reckless sexual encounters they've had with Stanton Infeld over the years? We do not.
I see.
- We have 641.
- Sorry? There are more, Your Honor, but, um, my memory isn't what it used to be.
I do apologize.
This board is not going to allow 641 people to share sordid details How about five? You choose.
Pick your favorites, Your Honor.
What was the most reckless place you've ever had sex with Stanton Infeld? The backdoor Mm.
Of my grandmother's beach house.
And did you ever feel like he was out of control? You didn't go to Stanton to be in control.
We once had sex on a shipwreck That was supposed to be our little secret, Lynette.
Yes.
A real igloo.
Man: Transatlantic flight.
Mile-high club was always on my bucket list.
I owe him.
We're even now, Monte.
Thank you.
Woman: We've heard enough.
This board is more than convinced that your deviant behavior clouded your judgment, Mr.
Infeld.
I agree, Your Honor.
Wholeheartedly agree.
After you seek the appropriate professional help, we will reinstate you.
Thank you.
[Applause.]
Yeah, we know.
We're the ones that got you shut down.
- What do you want us to say? - Here we go.
- Hi.
- You're the lawyers? - Yeah.
- Yes.
Remember, in the long run, we're gonna make you a lot of money - Increased capacity.
- And, at least for a few weeks, you got more time on the water.
- Joss told us that you surf.
- Right? Ugh.
What do you want? Would you cook a private dinner Friday night for two people? - What? - And we we can't pay you.
You offer me no money after you shut my place down? Wait, wait.
Have you ever surfed Third Point? Third Point Best surf spot in Malibu.
Yeah, I know it.
We'd like to give you our beach house for the weekend.
Surf till you can't surf anymore right on Third Point.
Well, my family's coming in this weekend.
- Family? That's great.
- Love family.
Yeah, we got plenty of room.
Third Point.
For a private dinner Friday night.
All right.
Let's do it.
- That's great.
- We'll be in touch.
- Okay? - All right.
- We'll get you info.
Thanks, man.
- All right.
Where should we stay this weekend? I say we go camping.
You know, we get the tents, the fishing rods, the Coleman, just head up to Yosemite.
- Dude, we don't own any of those things, - [Cellphone rings.]
And you couldn't open up a sleeping bag.
That's true.
All right, Karp is a go for his private dinner with Chef Sebastian.
His assistant asks, "where should they drop off the Dodger tickets?" Yes.
We did it.
We bought ourselves a few more days, which means We can sleep at the firm this weekend.
There you go.
It's a victory for us.
I wonder what victory tastes like.
Cold beer.
[Door closes.]
Except you have court tomorrow.
Oh, little Miss Buzzkill.
So I was thinking that maybe we could find a picture of Chelsea before surgery, then through CGI, show how dramatically he changed her.
That way, the prenup's gonna come back into play.
W-w-w-we can't crack it unless we use the picture of the doctor's French ex.
But we are gonna crack the doc on the stand, 'cause he trusts us not to screw him over.
He might open up to us.
And we're gonna hope for a little leeway from our judge.
So no CGI? Not in the budget.
But we are gonna have you make a Cosmo run.
You guys are gonna drink now? Mm-hmm.
First of all, way ahead of you.
Second of all, he means Cosmo the magazine.
Also, get some Marie Claire and Instyle, please.
Glamour? Uh, we got plenty of Glamour.
It was a raffle.
All right.
Hey, is this gonna be like the rabbit thing? Better.
Except this has very little chance of working.
All right.
Dr.
Beckmann, I'd like to ask you to lend your considerable aesthetic experience to help us understand beauty.
Now, in this box, there are Nose, eyes, mouth, hair.
They'll enable us to see a rendition of beauty from your professional opinion.
Your Honor, I don't know where to start other than to ask Mr.
Bash for a play date.
Mr.
Bash, you have 60 seconds to tell us what this has to do with the breach of a prenup.
You got it, Your Honor.
Dr.
Beckmann, using this blank canvas, give us your professional opinion of what is beautiful Somewhat similar to how you might show a prospective patient.
Uh, if I may? You may.
[Sighs.]
Well, e-e-every culture has their own definition, but I guess I would try I'm just eyeballing distances here.
Beauty is symmetry, perfect alignment.
I mean, if I had my tools We have Franklin and Bash.
[Both pretend to laugh.]
- Dr.
Beckmann.
- Time's up.
Whoa.
I'm sorry.
Did someone win a judicial appointment in the last 45 seconds? Not that I'm aware of.
Stand down, counselor.
Jared: I got to say, you do great work.
Where do you practice? Wait.
Don't answer that.
Oh, my God.
Objection.
Your Honor, you told Franklin and Bash not to bring that photo of his French ex-girlfriend into court.
We didn't.
Dr.
Beckmann did.
It's Melanie.
The odds of him picking the 5 correct main features out of 16, Your Honor, is like It's like 80-1.
You took 16 and put it together 5 times.
Right.
It's not 80? No, it is 80.
The odds are 1,048,000-1.
Thank you.
Yeah, what she said.
She's with us.
Judge: Dr.
Beckmann's creation stays and the previously excluded photograph is now admissible for comparison purposes.
I don't think that's gonna be necessary, Your Honor.
Dr.
Beckmann, does your patient, uh, remind you of anyone you know? Chelsea, honey, I had no idea.
I'm sorry.
Your Honor, can we take a short recess? I think that's a good idea.
We're in recess.
What's going on? - Prenup just went away.
- We won.
Oh, my.
Thank you.
I'll take one of those.
[Chuckles.]
Okay, Nick's watching.
Nick's watching.
Nick's watching.
[Clears throat.]
[Chelsea sighs.]
You want it? - Hell yeah.
- No.
[Chuckles.]
Or you could hang it back in your office stick around.
For a few months with a six-month option to stay.
[Sighs.]
That should cover my last month's rent.
Well, it doesn't.
Oh, well.
Sue me.
I'm moving to Paris.
Gonna be the areola king of Europe.
[Elevator dings.]
Maybe knock out a few cleft palates on the weekends for operation smile.
Oh, that's nice.
Take care.
- Anita: Bye.
- Jared: Bye.
Dude, where should we hang this? [Engine shuts off.]
And we gave Sebastian our house for the weekend.
[Sighs.]
[Sighs.]
[Grunts.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
Oh, uh, boys! Over here.
Over here.
Hey.
Guys.
Hi.
So, I heard that you were making out with each other at Three Olives.
Okay, we weren't making out.
That's fantastic, and, by the way, hardly surprising.
So you can drop the pretense of separate bedrooms now, because your bunk bed awaits.
Oh.
Great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Did you, uh Did you bring people back from your sex-addicts group? Oh.
Yes.
Ben and Evelyn.
Oh, uh, sorry.
No last names.
Oh, and there is Thor.
However, he seems to have disappeared.
Sebastian, two more for dinner.
How long before the sumptuous buffet? Stanton, the tortellini is stuffed by hand, and I only got two of them.
Hey, "stuffed by hand.
" [Chuckles.]
Listen, good news.
I found the most beautiful house.
Great news.
Ah, unfortunately, I can't move in till the 18th.
So one more glorious month together.
I'm on top tonight.
No, you were on top last night.
I'm on top tonight.