The Brady Bunch (1969) s04e02 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group
must somehow form a family ♪
That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way
we became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Greg!
Greg!
NARRATOR: An accident like this
is the last thing the Bradys expect.
When Mike's company
sends him to Hawaii
to check on the construction
of a building Mike has designed.
And his boss generously offers
to let him take the family along
so they can all have a vacation.
Then, while at the construction site,
Bobby finds a small idol
that was unearthed
by one of the workmen.
Bobby is unaware that according
to ancient island superstition,
the idol is taboo and brings
bad luck to those who touch it.
From this moment on,
strange things began to happen.
A heavy wall decoration
just misses Bobby.
Alice hurts her back at a hula lesson
while wearing the idol.
Then Greg wears the idol for
good luck in a surfing contest
and has this terrible accident.
Now, minutes later, the family
frantically searches for Greg.
His surfboard has floated ashore,
but Greg is nowhere in sight.
There he is.
BOBBY: Greg, what happened?!
MARCIA: What
happened? Are you all right?
Hey, I'd better go get
the car. ( Coughing )
Are you all right, son?
Wow, what happened?
Greg
Can you understand what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, Dad.
Honey, do you hurt anywhere?
No. Yeah, yeah, everywhere.
Boy, that was some wipe out.
Yeah, I know, I was there.
Oh! Have I got a lump
on the back of my head!
You must have hit your head
with the surfboard.
The back of his neck is all skinned.
Hey, Bobby, I'm afraid I lost
your little tiki statue.
Well, it's a good thing you had it.
You could have been drowned.
Mike, do you think he's all right?
I think to be on the safe side,
we'd better have the hotel
doctor take a look at him.
( Coughing )
Greg, can you get up?
Yeah, Dad, I can make it
back to the car okay.
Oh, oh, Greg, Greg, sweetheart.
Th-The car is this way, okay?
Oh, yeah.
Just take it easy.
I'm okay, I'm okay.
I'm sure glad Greg didn't get hurt.
It would have ruined our picnic tomorrow.
Well, that's sure looking
on the bright side of things.
Jan, honey, would you
please do me a favor
and go make sure
we haven't left anything?
Okay.
Wow, there's so much stuff.
Get the sand off.
Get most of the sand off if you can, kids.
Oh, what luck!
I'm going to drop you off
at work on our way, dear.
Ha! Well, that's the life
man goes to work
and woman goes on a picnic.
Aw, don't worry.
Sunday, there'll be men's lib.
( Knock at door )
Come in.
Mom, listen, if you don't mind,
we guys would rather stay here
and knock around the beach for a while.
You mean you don't want
to go to the picnic?
On the beach with all those girls?
That's my kind of picnic.
You The doctor was right.
Hit on the head didn't hurt him at all.
Yeah, he's back to normal all right.
Yeah, you know, come to think of it,
I'm with Greg
that's my kind of picnic, too.
Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
You just stick to work, buster.
Would you put these in the car, please?
Yes, ma'am. I'll get the girls.
Come on, girls, hurry up!
( All talking at once )
( Whistles )
Hey, come on, let's go!
Time's a-wastin'.
Come on, kids.
Oh, my camera, darn it.
Jan!
I'm coming!
Just over from the mainland?
Yeah. You, too?
Well, no. Guess you'd have to call me
an old island hand.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Say, you know,
the sun here is really strong.
I think you'd better use
plenty of that suntan lotion.
Thanks.
Just a little island know-how.
Let me help you with your back.
Island hospitality.
What you doing?
I-I I thought you guys went to go look
for your statue.
We did. We couldn't find it.
Maybe you missed it.
No way, it's not there.
You go look.
Yeah.
Say, why don't you guys
go play in the water?
Or build sand castles?
They got some great sand
way down there.
Are you coming, too?
Not right now.
We'll wait.
Yeah.
Look, can't you guys see I'm busy?
Doing what?
I'm helping, uh
Mandy. Mandy.
I'm helping Mandy
put on some suntan lotion.
Now, see you later.
Hi, Mandy, I'm Peter.
I'm Bobby.
Hi.
By the way, who are you?
I'm Greg.
Like I said, I'm helping Mandy
with some suntan lotion.
That's okay. I'll give you a hand.
We'll all give you a hand.
Wow!
This is what I call real island hospitality.
CAROL: Aah Oh, boy,
Alice, what a perfect day.
Oh, yeah, isn't it nice to look up there
and see all that blue stuff?
You mean, the sky?
Yeah. Back home, all that blue stuff
is behind all that brown stuff.
CAROL: Well, I think
if we get a move on,
we'll be able to do some sightseeing
before we go back to the hotel.
That's a good idea, Mrs. Brady.
Hey, kids, hey!
( Whistles )
Come on, kids!
We're going to go do some sightseeing.
That's what they call Rabbit Island.
Has anybody got a tissue?
This lens is dirty.
Oh, I think I do.
Oh, never mind, Jan. Here's one, honey.
Oh.
Thanks, Mom.
Oh, look at that funny-looking bird.
Oh! What kind of a bird is it?
Well, it says here
it's called a red-footed booby.
A red-footed booby?
Yeah, he doesn't look
any too happy about it either.
I'm going to take a picture of it.
MARCIA: Oh, here.
I'll take one of you and the bird.
Oh, okay. Over there.
Smile, both of you.
( Click )
( Squawks )
Good-bye, birds.
GIRLS: Bye-bye!
JAN: Hi.
Here, Bobby.
Hey, the tiki!
Where'd you find it?
On the beach yesterday.
I forgot to give it to you.
Thanks, Jan.
You're welcome. See you later. Bye.
I got my good luck piece back.
Good luck?
Where'd you get that?
I found it. Isn't it neat?
It's tabu.
Taboo?
Yeah, it's supposed to make
all kinds of terrible things happen to you.
Like my wipe out yesterday.
Yeah.
Oh, it's just an old island superstition.
I don't believe in that tabu stuff.
Me neither. Me either.
Taboo?
♪
Oh, man, this is really living.
Home from work in time to take a swim.
Um, honey?
Yes?
Did you happen to notice
all the nice shops
they have down in the lobby?
Oh, yes, hmm.
Honey?
Mm-hmm.
Did you notice any particular one?
You mean the one with the
display case in the window
with all the jade and the coral in it?
That's the one!
No, I didn't notice that one.
Uh, uh, Mike?
Uh, the next time you don't notice it,
don't notice the beautiful
little coral pin in the window.
Okay, I won't notice it.
Do you think what David said is true?
How can a dumb old piece of wood
give you bad luck?
Unless it hits you in the head.
Forget about it, Bobby.
Dave said it was just an old
superstition, didn't he?
Yeah. Well, anyway,
I don't think I want it anymore.
That's dumb.
You want it?
Sure, why not?
It'll make a great souvenir.
Okay, take it.
Bad luck, come and get me.
Look, you guys, I'm kind of bushed.
So, uh, good night, okay?
( Panicked whimpering )
( Whimpering )
Aw, come on, Pete, knock it off.
G-G-Get it off me!
Please get it off me.
Get what off of you?
Get it off me!
Please get it off me!
P-P-please get it off me!
Wow!
Is that thing ugly!
BOBBY: Yuck! GREG: Pete, don't move!
I won't move if he won't move.
Lie still
Not on me!
I won't, I won't, I won't.
Try not to flinch.
Yuck!
( Screaming in disgust )
It's okay, it's okay now. It's okay.
I think it's still alive!
I think it's still alive!
( Boys shouting )
Boys boys! Hold it down
to a dull roar, would you?
We just saw a monster!
He was sitting right on top of me.
Dad, there's a spider right down here!
He's huge! Look at this!
Oh, my gosh! Is he dead?
MIKE: I don't know.
I think maybe he's only stunned.
Don't squish him!
He could have killed me!
Oh, Peter, there aren't any
really poisonous spiders in Hawaii.
He couldn't have killed you.
Yeah, he could he
almost scared me to death.
Listen, I'd better take him outside.
Give me something to put him in.
That sack there.
BOBBY: Hurry!
I need something to scoop him up with.
Here, use this.
He's all hairy!
MIKE: Aah!
Ew! Ugh! Ew!
Wow!
He's an ugly-looking dude, isn't he?
Well, listen, I'd better
take him out of here
before your mother sees him,
'cause she gets uptight
when she sees a ladybug.
Go to sleep.
Good night.
Good night.
Did you see the size of that?!
Oh, hi, honey. What are you doing?
Oh, just uh, nothing.
Uh, nothing?
Yeah, that's right, nothing.
Oh, you are sneaky.
Sneaky but sweet!
What do you mean?
Were you going to put that
under my pillow?
Put what? Under your pillow?
That. It's the coral pin.
Uh no, honey, it's not the coral pin.
It's not the jade bracelet.
No, no, it's not the jade bracelet.
It's the coral pin.
No, it isn't the coral pin.
It is the coral pin!
( Groans in disgust )
It isn't the coral pin.
I told you.
Here. I don't want this thing anymore.
Me, neither. That's a bad luck charm.
Come on, you ding-a-lings.
That idol's got nothing to do with it.
Here, then you take it.
Ow!
See, I told you it was bad luck.
DAVE: You see those deep creases
on the sides of the Kola mountains?
GREG: Yeah?
Well, the old islanders say
they were made long ago
when the great war canoes
of Kamehameha
were dragged up the mountains
from the beaches.
Sounds kind of wild.
Yeah, well, I told you before,
this whole island is full
of those foolish old
stories and superstitions.
You mean like the idol we found?
Yeah.
Hey, you guys don't really
believe that jazz, do you?
Now, look, Dave, a lot of goofy things
have been happening
since we got this thing.
We'd like to find out a little more about it.
Well
well, the only one I know
who might be able
to tell you anything about it
is old Mr. Hanalei.
Mr. Hanalei?
Yeah. He believes in all that stuff.
Can you tell us where he lives?
We gotta talk to him.
You know, I think
you guys are wigged out,
but if that's what you want.
Okay, here's your hotel, right?
Yeah.
Yes, tabu very old, very evil.
Bad things come to those who touch.
Then we should throw it away?
No. Once you touch, taboo stay.
You mean, there's no way
to get rid of the bad luck?
Only one way
if you have the courage to take it back.
Back? Back where?
To burial ground of ancient kings.
Burial ground?
Tabu will be gone once you put it back.
Could you tell us a little more?
Long ago, before
the great Kamehameha,
there was sacred burial place
for island kings.
To guard them, they make strong tabu.
This must be the taboo.
Yes. It was placed
on burial place of first king.
How did it get out?
Tabu stolen by bad warrior.
Soon, he found dead.
Evil come to those who touch.
It will always come, my children,
until idol is put back.
Do you know where
this burial ground is?
When I was a little boy,
my grandfather tell me the way.
He tell me, "Never go there."
I never go.
Could you tell us where it is?
We gotta get rid of this thing.
Please, Mr. Hanalei.
I will tell you.
Honest, Dad.
It's a real terrible taboo.
Oh, honey, that's just a story
from a superstitious old gentleman.
Then how do you explain
all the awful things
that have been happening
to us since we found it?
Very simply: Coincidence.
I mean, Greg gets wiped out by a wave,
Alice hurts her back,
a spider crawls across the room
coincidence, that's all.
None of that happened
because of some ancient taboo.
Of course.
That little statue only has the power
that you imagine it to have.
Sure. Take it home
and show it to your friends.
They'll get a kick out of it.
Okay.
What are we going to do about it?
There's only one thing to do,
according to Mr. Hanalei:
take it back to the burial ground.
That sounds kind of spooky.
Besides, Mom and Dad
would never let us go.
No.
Not if they knew about it.
A burial ground?
With dead kings? Yuck!
Shh, Cindy, not so loud.
We don't want Mom and Dad
to hear what Greg's telling us.
I don't even want to hear
what Greg's telling us.
Tomorrow, we're going to take a bus
to the other side of the island.
We want you to cover for us.
How?
If they ask, tell Mom and Dad
we went sightseeing
and that's all you know, okay?
Okay.
Thanks.
Greg
aren't you and the boys afraid
of going to a burial ground?
Yes but we're even more
afraid of not going.
Okay, from what Mr. Hanalei said,
we go that way.
The bus driver thought
we were crazy for getting out here.
Maybe the bus driver's right.
Come on, we'll stick together.
This has to be the way.
I bet Mom and Dad are worried about us.
Not as worried as I am.
Look, that burial ground
has to be around here.
I followed Mr. Hanalei's
directions to the letter.
Even if we find it,
how are we going to find
our way out of here?
Yeah.
Well, let's leave a trail.
The popcorn. We'll leave
a trail of popcorn.
Hey, I like my popcorn!
What do you like better
your popcorn or your life?
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, honey.
Boy, that building
is really beginning to take shape.
Oh, good.
What's the matter?
( Sighs ) Well, it's getting late,
and the boys aren't home
from sightseeing yet.
Well, they said they'd be gone all day.
I guess so.
Well, you know how time
flies when you're having fun.
This is it, you guys.
If this isn't the burial ground,
it's sure a great place for one.
Why don't we just put the idol down
and get out of here?
Mr. Hanalei said we had to put it
on the hidden burial place
of the first king.
Won't any old king do?
Hey, look!
A cave!
Mr. Hanalei didn't say anything
about a cave.
Well, maybe he didn't know about it.
Let's take a look.
It looks kind of scary.
Hey, there's a light.
Maybe it's a caretaker.
Yeah, maybe he'll take care of us.
Let's not go in there.
Come on, you guys,
maybe he can tell us about the first king.
I think this is part of the burial ground.
Well, it's not the tunnel of love.
Shh, you guys.
Hello?
Anybody here?
Why don't we just leave
the idol here with a note?
Yeah, and we can put on it:
"Please return to first king."
There's got to be somebody here.
Let's take a look
down one of those passages.
Stick close behind me.
If we were any closer,
we'd be in front of you.