Family Law (2021) s04e04 Episode Script
Autonomy
Previously on Family Law
- What's going on?
- If you don't get out now, I'll have
the police charge you with assault.
And good luck to the next sucker who
has to defend himself
against your imagination.
I messed up.
You'll never get that time back, but I
promise I will do everything
I can to make it right.
I've been in discussions with
Marcus Peterson about a merger.
Sorry, what?
Since you're my partner, I
wanted to bring you into the loop.
I should have been in the loop before
you two even had a discussion.
What's wrong?
Do your neighbors
keep their liquor bottles in
the toilet tank as well?
My friends bet me 50 bucks I couldn't
- talk to the cutest guy in this place.
- I'm pregnant.
- But you're not actually gonna
- Yes, I'm keeping it.
But don't worry, I don't
expect anything from you.
I just thought, morally
speaking, I should let you know.
Goodbye.
Dude, ever heard of a condom?
We used one.
At least, I think we did.
I can't believe you got your
one-night stand pregnant.
You are incapable of
having a sexual encounter
without turning it into a
long, drawn-out downer.
That's not true.
Oh, I'm having a no-strings-attached affair
with a chef until her
boyfriend gets back to town.
Cut to you, Chase, moping for a year
and Martyr M seeing their wedding.
What's that got to do with this?
Now it's, oh, this is
gonna be my slut era.
Cut to I'm having a
baby with a stranger.
It's not my fault Jude wants to keep it.
Wait, the baby mama is that chick who
- mackdaddied you at the bar?
- Yeah.
Dude, you got played.
She's trying to lock you down.
Tell me you ordered a DNA test.
Of course I did.
There's no way this baby is yours.
You're right.
- There's no way.
- Think about it.
There's no one to date in this city.
Either my standards
have gotten higher or the
men have gotten worse.
I thought you were sleeping at Ben's.
We, uh, we broke up.
Abby, no.
What did you do?
What did I do?
Well, you have a very
aggressive personality.
Look, the women in our family are stubborn,
but trust me, you won't
do better than Ben.
So I say this with love, fix it.
Unfortunately, this can't be fixed.
Good morning.
Morning.
So last night was
unexpected, but nice, very.
No, I'll get her.
Don't forget to use the
special diaper cream.
You're doing it again.
Sorry, working on it.
This booth is bringing
me right back, Robert.
How many all-nighters do we pull here?
When you were a wee
articling student at my firm.
Cramming for court.
Blitzed on bottomless coffee.
It's been way too long.
How's retirement?
I don't recommend it.
I gave it a test drive
myself a few months ago.
Didn't agree with me either.
Are you still in your Point Grey house?
I am.
Although it's felt pretty
cavernous since Anna passed.
- She was an incredible woman.
- Yeah.
- Knew how to throw a party.
- Oh, I know.
Now I hear you're back with Joanne.
Her, I remember, quite a looker.
She's even more beautiful
now if that's possible.
Although things didn't work out with us.
I'm sorry to hear that.
- How's the firm?
- Doing well.
Lots of changes.
Daniel's a partner now.
Good for him.
He's a decent lawyer, but he's silly and
lacks respect for the
shoulders on which he stands.
I can one-up you.
My son has hired
a lawyer to strong-arm
me into handing
over power of attorney.
Buffer, that's terrible.
Let me represent you.
I-I-I don't need help.
Of course not, but a
professional buffer could
save your relationship with your son.
Ahhh, not sure there's anything to save.
But, uh, yes, it's okay.
Stick your hands in the corners of the
fitted sheet, holding it lengthways.
Then bring your hands together.
And the right corner
goes over the left one.
So do I?
This is really hard to learn.
Once you do, it's just
like riding a bicycle.
But I don't know how to ride a bicycle.
How's the trial
roommate situation going?
BOTH: Great.
- How's it really going?
- Honestly, surprisingly well.
He's following all my rules.
- Your 9 a.m. is in the boardroom.
- Thanks.
Hello, Theo. I'm Abigail Bianchi.
How can I help you today?
- I'd like to get a divorce.
- You've come to the right place.
You and your spouse are
claiming irreconcilable differences?
My marriage was destroyed by Jezebel.
- So adultery?
- No, not a mistress.
My mother-in-law.
My husband always prioritized
his relationship with his mother.
Monica's a monster, but he's too blinded by
Oedipal love to see it.
Your ex has certainly
done well for himself.
He created a video
conferencing platform that took off.
- Before or after you got married?
- Before.
Do you have a list of assets
acquired during the marriage?
Oliver took care of
all the business-y stuff.
- I took care of the home.
- We'll request financial disclosure.
That won't be a problem.
We never fought about money,
or sex, or dishes, or anything
but Monica.
You must think it's crazy to end a
relationship over one thing.
Not if it's a deal-breaker.
Speak to you soon.
Cecil, can you get Portia Ifa's office to
send over the financials
for Kip V. Hatcher?
Yeah, totally.
- Hey, do you have a minute?
- Yeah.
I found Ben's secret
vodka stash last night.
I ended it.
I hate that I had to, but
I'm too scared.
If you don't put on your own oxygen
mask first, you're not helping anyone.
I just thought he was it.
[SOBS]
What's going on with you?
Had my first radio segment
at the Phoenix tomorrow.
You'll knock it out of the park.
Also, Maggie and I had sex.
Maggie who abducted your baby?
I think we're getting back together.
- Cool origin story.
- What's a cool origin story?
She's pregnant.
- Who?
- Exactly.
She was a one-night stand.
She has a pet rat.
She says it's mine. Not the rat that
Wait, are you saying
you got her pregnant?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- You brought it up.
I have a partner's meeting.
I need to focus.
Oh, that's the last item on the agenda.
So, meeting adjourned.
Is there something else?
We still need to discuss the other thing.
Jerry, would you mind giving
us a moment to speak privately?
Of course.
I've had time to think about the
merger, these are my terms.
No no no.
We can discuss this in the future No.
Okay.
I'm ready to move
forward with the discussion.
Daniel, you cannot tell anybody about this.
Not Abigail, not Jerry,
not that pasty lawyer
you play with on the beach.
We don't
My lips are sealed.
I reviewed Mr. Hatcher's financials.
Somehow our client's
tech tycoon husband is cash
poor with no assets.
- Smells fishy.
- So, catch the fish?
- So, you want me to?
- Track the money, Cecil.
Ah, got it.
Put a big sign on my door
that says, gone fishing.
Well, if I had a door,
that is I would
Yeah.
Your client's bid for POA is preposterous.
Robert has the sharpest
mind of anyone I know.
No one is questioning
Robert's mental competence.
Obviously, you are a legend.
However, Mr. Jennings
feels that his father would
do better in an assisted living facility.
I bet he does.
Dad, that old house would be a lot
for anyone to handle alone.
I am capable of running my own household.
The gutters are clogged.
There's an inch of dust on everything.
The only thing in the fridge is a
row of expired condiments.
The good news is these
problems can be outsourced.
I have a wonderful
housekeeper, and I recently
learned about a meal delivery
service called Dine Dispatch.
I have tried all of that.
My father turned the cleaner away and told
the Meals on Wheels
woman she was trespassing.
That's hospital food for people
that can't take care of themselves.
Dad, I don't mean you any harm.
Please, would you just
trust that I'm trying to help?
No.
I'm not leaving my house
unless it's in a coffin.
So the trick is, you get
right inside of the sheet.
Why are you all sitting
around playing charades
like children in the middle of a workday?
It's called a lunch break.
When, I started out,
people didn't take breaks.
Yes, before those pesky
labor laws were created.
And the concept of work-life balance.
When I was an articling
student, Robert Jennings
would call his office at 11 p.m.
to see who was still there.
Better brew some more coffee.
Gramps is gearing up for a good old
walk to school uphill both
ways in the snow story.
Enough with the old jokes.
Did none of you learn
to respect your elders?
I honestly don't know why I had children.
I've given you everything and
get nothing but insults in return.
Kids earn investments
on a payback plan, Harry.
Tell my family that.
Literally, the only reason
my grandmother had children
was so she had someone to take care
of her when she was older.
My parents changed my
diapers and I'll change theirs.
I would change your diaper, Dad, if that
makes you feel any better.
I'll wear a noose
before I wear a diaper.
Oh, can we get that in writing?
For the record, this right here is why
I won't commit to a retirement date.
I fear you would just sit around all
day making snotty jokes and
eating fruity miniature yogurts.
Miss Bianchi I caught a big one.
You know those missing assets?
We found them.
Monica.
How is this for a radio sign-off?
"Feelings aren't facts"
Or "The best way out is through."
- Like or
- DNA results are in.
Ahhhh
Baby's mine.
Oh, I feel dizzy.
- Ahhh
- Take some deep breaths. Come, sit down.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to draft a contract
giving Jude sole parenting.
- And child support, obviously.
- That's exactly what I did.
But when Harmony was
born, I changed my mind.
This is different.
You and Maggie were married
and actively planning a family.
All I know about Jude is
she eats cheesies in bed.
- So it's an accident.
- Maybe a happy accident.
- I'm not father material.
- How do you know?
This might surprise
you, but I can be a little
- individually focused.
- You mean selfish?
- I don't know if that's the word.
- Oh, it is.
But Daniel, when you see your child in
front of you, something just switches on.
I don't want to mess this kid up
like Dad messed us up.
I'm the only one Dad actively
parented, and I'm the least messed up.
Let's maybe put a pin in that.
Just don't rush your decision.
And above all, be kind to yourself.
Did you just test
drive a sign off on me?
Oh.
"Be kind to yourself."
Has Nico been hounding you
about this school trip to France?
The kid who's never made it through a
sleepover without
calling to be picked up is
adamant he's ready for
a semester in Europe.
And we have to entertain the idea, right?
Well, we're not monsters.
Of course we'll humor him.
The parent information
session's tonight at six.
- Rock, paper, scissors?
- Oh, it's okay.
I'll take one for the team and represent.
I got nothing else going on.
- Thank you.
- Hm.
Incoming ex-father-in-law.
I will take that as my cue.
Uh-huh.
I just ran into Ben.
Apparently, you two are no
longer dating. What did you do?
Why do both my parents
assume the breakup was my fault?
I don't know what you were thinking.
Ben was a massive upgrade
from that little firefighter.
To be honest, a serious
step up from Frank.
Well, Ben's single
now, if you're interested.
Ready?
- You ready?
- OK.
Come on.
I took the competency
test of my own volition.
Andrew is already in place
for POA when I'm ready.
How is Associate Chief
Judge for Pete's sake?
It's absurd on many levels.
Ah a little trick my
mentor taught me.
Thank you.
This historical accounting
proves that over the course
of their marriage, Mr. Hatcher
fraudulently diverted funds
to his mother.
Luxury homes, cars, designer clothes.
This is money and
property that otherwise would
have remained in the conjugal family.
Mr. Hatcher has been
hiding millions from my
client behind mommy's skirt.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- Ms. Aoife.
I call Mr. Hatcher to the stand.
I didn't tell Theo about
the purchases because
my mom was such a point of contention
in our marriage.
I didn't want to rock the boat.
Mr. Hatcher, will you explain to the court
why you purchased your
mother such extravagant gifts?
Because I owe her everything.
Growing up, it was just the two of us.
My mother was my only friend when I
was a moody teenager.
She gave me the startup
money for my company.
She's been a shoulder to cry on during
this entire painful separation.
I literally owe my mother my life.
Your Honor, my client was never trying to
hide his assets from his husband.
He was simply trying
to show his appreciation
to the woman who
sacrificed everything for him.
I asked the court, is it a crime
to love your mother?
Well, on that touching, if saccharine
note, we'll adjourn for the day.
My father wears dirty
clothes because the washing
machine is in the basement.
With his declining mobility,
the stairs have become
a serious hazard.
He forgets to feed himself.
Given the circumstances,
we ask the court to
extend its exercise of
parents patriae jurisdiction to
declare the defendant as per
the appendix D amendment.
Counsel, kindly stop dropping
glossary terms like you're
writing an in-class essay.
Your Honor, the
plaintiff's grab for power of
attorney is ageism at its worst.
The documents submitted into
evidence overwhelmingly show my
client is compus mentis.
Mr. Jennings is acting like
an overprotective helicopter
parent who won't let his child climb the
monkey bars lest he
fall and get a scratch.
Honorable Judge Jennings,
despite being bone density challenged
at 82, may climb his own stairs all
day long if he so chooses.
Because if a freshman here wants to play
the glossary game, the
Adult Guardianship Act states
that adults are entitled to the right to
refuse all assistance as long as one poses
no risk to others.
That was a master class, Mr. Svensson.
Seriously chills.
But, um, uh, the, uh, about the no
risk to others part, um, I'd actually like
to call, uh, Donna Hayward to the stand.
Mrs. Hayward, did you
converse with your neighbor,
Robert Jennings, on October the 11th?
- I did.
- Would you give the court context?
Robert was backing up his car and drove
over the property line into our driveway.
He ran over our daughter's tricycle.
She had been riding it moments earlier.
That must have been terrifying.
It was, especially since he's
not supposed to be driving.
Would you please, uh, clarify
that last statement for the court?
Robert told me six months ago that his
license had been revoked.
Your Honor, may I
request a short recess?
- Granted.
- Thank you.
- Robert, are you okay?
- No.
- Oh
- [THUDS]
Robert.
Dad?
I can't believe that after 10 years of
setting my own dreams aside to be a
supportive house husband,
I might get next to nothing.
Fight isn't over, Theo.
Get a room.
Instructions are to double
the dose for the first three days.
I heard, I heard.
The ER doctor told me this was one
of the worst bladder
infections he's ever seen.
No wonder you blacked out.
Why didn't you seek medical attention?
I knew he'd hold it against me.
Andrew is really worried about you.
I don't want him anywhere near me.
You're lucky it didn't
migrate to your kidneys.
These last few years have
been a rude awakening.
Don't take your youth for granted, Harry.
I'm nearly 70.
Well, nothing will make your 70s seem more
appealing than your 80s.
Don't waste a moment.
Why did you take your
car out without a license?
I needed milk.
I'm not depending on other people for every
little thing, and I was doing okay until
that showed up in my mailbox,
robbing me of my freedom.
Wait, that letter arrived in the mail?
- May I?
- Ha! Be my guest.
Robert, this letter is a fake.
Hi, sorry, I just finished
cleaning the rat cage.
Exposure to animal feces
can be toxic to fetuses.
That's cat poo.
Rat poo is totally fine.
Now, do you mind if I eat while we talk?
Aren't you gonna wash your hands?
Sorry, I haven't eaten all day.
- It's almost seven.
- I know, but I had to pull an
all-nighter to hit a deadline.
How long has it been
since you last slept?
Two days.
Do you know how much
sugar is in a single can of soda?
- Sugar is natural.
- So is cocaine.
Okay, let's do this paperwork.
Um, I think my assistant
printed off the wrong document.
The students will visit
Versailles, explore the home
of Hugo's Hunchback,
and roam the beaches of
Normandy to see where Allied
soldiers fought for our freedom.
The trip last year to
Barthelona was a huge success.
The kids came home from Barthelona with a
newfound confidence and global mindset.
Most of the students have even kept in
touch with their Barthelona host families.
Do the parents at the back
have anything they'd like to share?
I can't believe I have to shill chocolate
covered almonds, even
though my son is almost
certainly not going on this trip.
How can you rob your son of this
experience after hearing about Barthelona?
Well, obviously, Barthelona
was a trip for the ages.
But my kid can't remember to bring his
agenda home from his dad's.
It's hard to imagine
entrusting him with a passport.
My daughter also suffers from
binder amnesia on switch days.
- I'm Abby, by the way.
- Kieran.
Sorry, I'm ravenous.
No, that was very long and tediouth.
I can tell. These are
going to be addictive.
Yeah, they are.
And at 15 bucks a pop,
that's an expensive habit.
But it's for a good cauth.
As a person who prefers cinema rooted in
realism, I have to say I appreciated the
world-building of Lord
of the Rings last night.
See? I told you you'd like it.
Step right up and get your
chocolate-covered almonds.
Chocolaty, almondy, and
overpriced. Today only.
Uh, no thank you.
I'm surprised you're not tempted.
Well, you know, Winston
doesn't like sweets in the house.
Or coats on the back of chairs.
- Sounds intense.
- No, no.
Winston's just a real rule lover.
Yeah.
Your Honor, Mr. Jennings
Jr. admits he forged
this letter, fraudulently revoking
his father's driver's license.
Objection uh Irrelevant
to this power of attorney case?
- Sustained.
- Okay.
With all due respect, the
plaintiff's actions speak
to his character, which is relevant.
Go on.
Mr. Jennings is asking the court to grant
him decision-making
power, but clearly this proves
he has poor decision-making skills.
He illegally took away
his father's right to drive.
What other rights might he take away if
given power of attorney?
Your Honor, I did that for the safety
of everyone on the road.
My father almost ran over a child.
- Sorry, Dad.
- Sit down, Mr. Jennings.
There's a process on how to handle these
things, and this isn't it.
Shame on you for
undermining your father with
this devious little maneuver.
But all I can rule on is the
matter of power of attorney.
Robert, you know I hold
you in the highest esteem.
And with all the respect and admiration in
the world, I believe
that despite his foolish
misstep, your son has
your best interests at heart.
I hereby grant his order
for power of attorney.
She was sweet, deprived,
stuffing her face with
chips, elbow deep in rodent dung.
- So you didn't give her the paperwork?
- No.
Because you want to be a
part of the baby's life now?
If I'm not, she might kill it.
Either of you like to
purchase some ethically
sourced, lightly roasted
almonds covered in a thick
layer of organic milk cacao?
You're lawyering wrong if
you need a candy side hustle.
I'm fundraising for Nico's school.
- How much is it?
- Fifteen bucks a box.
Oh, that's steep.
You're lawyering wrong
if you can't afford fifteen
dollars for your nephew's education.
Unless you don't care about
the future of the children.
Of course I care about
the future of the children.
Fine, I'll buy a box of wax candy.
I'm in for three, but I'll
have to settle up later.
I'm off to do my first call-in show.
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck, Luce.
Break a leg.
I don't carry cash.
Good luck talking to your mom, Alex.
You've got Kelly online too.
Hi, Kelly.
Hello, Lucy.
Congratulations on your new gig.
Thank you.
Uh, how can I help you today, Kelly?
I was in a relationship with a woman
who claimed she wanted something serious.
I made our house a home, protected her
from the toxic people
in her life, booked
us a vacation when she was overworked.
But at the first hiccup
in the relationship,
she abruptly broke
up with me and illegally
tried to evict me.
When I refused to leave, she ambushed me
with her attorney father
who threatened to sabotage
my career if I didn't leave immediately.
That's a lot to unpack here.
Do you have a question?
I'm just trying to make
sense of it all, Lucy.
Well, the first thing I'd say is it's
important to remember
that there are two sides
to every story.
Are you saying you don't believe me?
- No, that's not
- Because that sounds a
- lot like victim blaming.
- Should I pull the plug?
First of all, I would
never blame a victim.
However, a relationship
involves two people, so it's
difficult to dissect with
only one of you here.
As an exercise, I invite you to adopt
your ex-girlfriend's point of view.
- Sound good, Kelly?
- Sure.
If she were here, would she say that
she felt protected by you?
As an example, would she say that there
was a betrayal of trust that came to
light that precipitated
that abrupt breakup?
It appears we've lost Kelly.
Kelly, if you can hear
me, be kind to yourself.
We have Corey on the line.
Hi, Corey.
Bravo, Lucy.
Well done.
You were brilliant.
But also, oh my god, that was insane.
Are you okay?
Honestly, I'm great.
How'd it go?
Well, there was some big surprises.
Nice of you to tune in.
I'm gonna listen online later, I promise.
I'm just trying to figure out how to
save my client from a doomed
day in divorce court first.
- Why is it doomed?
- It's sad, actually.
It seems like a solid
relationship, except my
client's husband is under
his mother's thumb, like
serious Norman Bates vibes.
Enmeshment is almost
always a marriage killer.
- Why?
- Mom and son were
probably always codependent.
Son gets married.
Mom's fear of losing her
surrogate spouse spikes,
tightens her grip,
interferes to the point where
son has no autonomy,
then uses her influence
to alienate the affection from her son to
her spouse so she can
have son all to herself again.
And this is why you've got a radio show.
Alienation of affection.
Are you seriously running with this?
1965 called, they want their tort back.
It's an oldie but a goodie.
It's an abolished legal argument.
May I beg the court's indulgence?
You already set up the monitor.
Mr. Hatcher, could you
give the court context
for this photo?
That's Theo and me on
our honeymoon in Sayulita.
And this photo?
A Valentine's dinner at Coquette.
And this one?
Theo receiving his
PhD after four long years
in a grueling dissertation process.
It was a big deal.
There is nothing more
torturous than sitting through
somebody else's family
slideshow, Miss Bianchi.
What's your point?
My point is there's a bigger picture in
the dissolution of this marriage.
May I draw the court's attention to Mrs.
Hatcher crashing her son
and son-in-law's honeymoon.
Mrs. Hatcher inviting herself to
their romantic Valentine's dinner.
Mr. Kipp's commencement ceremony.
In Mr. Hatcher's own words, a big deal.
And yet he didn't take this photo.
In fact, he missed his husband's
commencement ceremony entirely.
Why?
Because Mrs. Hatcher called
with a conveniently timed
and imaginary crisis.
My vertigo came back. That is a crisis.
I'll have order in my court.
With a little more
context, these photos tell
the story of a mother who was so
threatened by her son's
marriage, she intentionally alienated
his affection, directly causing
my client pain and suffering.
Oh, so now I'm on trial.
You might be if you keep this up.
Andrew, I'm here to see
how your father's holding up.
Well, I appreciate that,
but dad's gone AWOL.
What do you mean he's AWOL?
I came to pick him up to tour
some retirement homes and he's gone.
I will never forgive myself if
something happens to him.
- Robert will be fine.
- Will he? He's 82 years old.
He's fragile.
Why is he fighting this so hard?
Assisted living is a tough pill to swallow.
Well, we wouldn't have to go this route
if he would just accept some help.
I have no idea where he is.
- I need to call the police
- Hold off for a bit.
Please.
I am so sorry again about yesterday.
What are you apologizing for?
I was unprofessional.
On the contrary, you were a total pro.
Seriously, watching you
navigate your abusive ex while
she stalked you on air
solidified your badassery.
She definitely created a false narrative.
- Luce, she's unhinged.
- Heh-heh.
If anyone needs to apologize, it's me.
She never should have made it through.
On the bright side,
the data came back
and the numbers were awesome.
First of all, I'd like to thank Miss
Bianchi for her entertaining
argument pulled from the scrolls.
- Kudos on the big swing.
- Court favors the brave.
And it's not the quote.
Glad you got to stretch
your personal injury
legs, but third-party emotional
damages won't fly in family court.
I see no evidence that
contradicts Mr. Hatcher's
statements that his
gifts to his mother were
given in good faith.
All right, hang on with all
the looks each other. I'm not done.
Miss Bianchi's slide
show did convince me that
Mrs. Hatcher is exercising undue influence.
I find that the properties were put into
Monica Hatcher's name fraudulently.
She has no legal right to them.
Mr. Kipp is entitled to half of all
the marital assets.
Seriously, Abby, I can't even.
You're a courtroom queen.
Well, I got you the baseline
divorce settlement, Theo. That's it.
No, you validated my experience.
I didn't know that's what
I needed until I got it.
You think there's any
hope for you and Oliver?
I think I have to accept the fact
that he's damaged and I can't fix him.
I'm through with mama's boys.
Recovered mama's boys, though.
I'm glad I found you.
I am not bunking down with
a bunch of drooling cabbages.
I want to file an appeal.
I'm advising against it.
We won't win, which you already know.
Do you remember how you used to keep
a scoreboard of all the lawyers' wins in
the staff lounge?
I should thank you.
Your workplace ethos served me well.
So much of my ego was
wrapped up in those wins.
However, as I've grown
older, I've realized not
all wins belong on the scoreboard.
As much as I complain about Daniel, I've
learned from watching him work that if you
are willing to relinquish
some control, brave some
vulnerability, and trust
that both sides are working
towards a common goal,
sometimes you actually get
more of what you want.
- I see what you're doing.
- I talked to Andrew.
He says if you agree to downsize, accept
all home care visits,
stop haranguing the poor
Meals on Wheels
volunteer, you can continue to
live an independent life.
Harry, I am sorry, but I cannot stomach
that Meals on Wheels woman.
I'm going to need you to teach me
how this Dine Dispatch thing works.
Okay.
You'll never guess how
I salvaged Kip versus
Why are you reading that?
Shut the door.
I'm expecting a child.
Congratulations?
I didn't know you were seeing anyone.
No, I'm not. And yet, we're pregnant.
Well, she's pregnant.
You are reading an 80s guide to mom
-shaming while binge-eating candy.
I would appreciate your discretion.
I would like to share the
news with Dad myself.
Sure, if you stop micromanaging me.
Deal.
And if you buy 40 boxes of
chocolate-covered almonds.
- 30.
- 38.
Fine.
- How are you feeling?
- Unprepared.
You've never been unprepared
for anything in your life, Daniel.
In fact, all of your
annoying qualities make
you oddly suited for parenthood.
I mean, you already
carry Craig on your chest.
Right.
Having a baby is just like having a dog.
You make it so hard to be on your side.
I just put the kettle on.
Do you want some tea?
Sure, thanks.
Okay.
Oh, it felt so good to wake up
all together the other day.
It did, but before you go any further,
I should tell you I'm seeing someone.
It's early days, but I'm
excited to see where it goes.
Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.
I'm happy for you.
Thanks.
- How did the show go?
- It was good.
Yeah, of course it was.
I'm proud of you.
So, I'll pick the munchkin
up in the morning around 8.
Perfect.
You know how much I hate losing, but
between you and me, Judge Gill's ruling was
a blessing in disguise.
His ego was ruining his life.
Well, one of the most important things I
learned in sobriety was
leaving my ego at the door.
I'll never be the first to tell you,
I muck it up all the time.
I think you're doing all right.
The challenge is to learn that
life lesson before it's too late.
You want to watch the second
Lord of the Rings tonight?
I think I'm too tired.
Oh, no.
Are you not sleeping well in the foldout?
- No, no. The couch is super comfy.
- So why are you so tired?
Maybe just having to wake up
early to abide by your morning rules.
What morning rules?
Just like how you want
the fitted sheet folded.
Okay.
Takes me half an hour to get the
silk edges tucked into
the little elastic pockets.
And how you want me to towel dry
the shower walls after every use.
But by the time I'm done drying everything,
I'm so sweaty, I need another shower.
And then you ask me to leave the
apartment for 15 minutes
every morning, and it's
almost right after I pour myself a big
bowl of Cheerios, and I get back and
the Cheerios is soggy, and I know it's
not my apartment, but honestly, it is very
confusing to be told to walk around the
block at random intervals.
I have parka precess.
Winston, are you dying?
No, I'm poop shy.
You should have just said that.
You can stay in the apartment when I
go to the washroom.
No, it's a good excuse
to get my steps in.
Oh, thank God.
Can I just roll up the
fitted sheet though?
If you stuff it in the cupboard where
I can't see it, uneven
edges make my eye twitch.
Deal.
Mr. Frodo, here we come.
I've sold 48 boxes of chocolate almonds so
other people's kids can stuff
themselves full of croissants.
You're a real philanthropist now.
Since I've already invested
all this humanitarian aid,
I'm wondering if we should just send Nico
on the trip.
Are you serious?
I don't want to coddle him just because
he's young for his age.
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
I have to fly to Paris to retrieve
him in the middle of the trip?
Okay.
Yeah, let's toss this
kid out of the nest.
Nico takes Paris.
Great, okay.
I'll tell Madame Gale.
I'm so glad we've
gotten to this place, Abby.
We're killing it with the co-parenting.
We really are.
Good thing, since it sounds like we might
be working together soon too.
What do you mean?
Well, because of the merger.
What merger?
- What's going on?
- If you don't get out now, I'll have
the police charge you with assault.
And good luck to the next sucker who
has to defend himself
against your imagination.
I messed up.
You'll never get that time back, but I
promise I will do everything
I can to make it right.
I've been in discussions with
Marcus Peterson about a merger.
Sorry, what?
Since you're my partner, I
wanted to bring you into the loop.
I should have been in the loop before
you two even had a discussion.
What's wrong?
Do your neighbors
keep their liquor bottles in
the toilet tank as well?
My friends bet me 50 bucks I couldn't
- talk to the cutest guy in this place.
- I'm pregnant.
- But you're not actually gonna
- Yes, I'm keeping it.
But don't worry, I don't
expect anything from you.
I just thought, morally
speaking, I should let you know.
Goodbye.
Dude, ever heard of a condom?
We used one.
At least, I think we did.
I can't believe you got your
one-night stand pregnant.
You are incapable of
having a sexual encounter
without turning it into a
long, drawn-out downer.
That's not true.
Oh, I'm having a no-strings-attached affair
with a chef until her
boyfriend gets back to town.
Cut to you, Chase, moping for a year
and Martyr M seeing their wedding.
What's that got to do with this?
Now it's, oh, this is
gonna be my slut era.
Cut to I'm having a
baby with a stranger.
It's not my fault Jude wants to keep it.
Wait, the baby mama is that chick who
- mackdaddied you at the bar?
- Yeah.
Dude, you got played.
She's trying to lock you down.
Tell me you ordered a DNA test.
Of course I did.
There's no way this baby is yours.
You're right.
- There's no way.
- Think about it.
There's no one to date in this city.
Either my standards
have gotten higher or the
men have gotten worse.
I thought you were sleeping at Ben's.
We, uh, we broke up.
Abby, no.
What did you do?
What did I do?
Well, you have a very
aggressive personality.
Look, the women in our family are stubborn,
but trust me, you won't
do better than Ben.
So I say this with love, fix it.
Unfortunately, this can't be fixed.
Good morning.
Morning.
So last night was
unexpected, but nice, very.
No, I'll get her.
Don't forget to use the
special diaper cream.
You're doing it again.
Sorry, working on it.
This booth is bringing
me right back, Robert.
How many all-nighters do we pull here?
When you were a wee
articling student at my firm.
Cramming for court.
Blitzed on bottomless coffee.
It's been way too long.
How's retirement?
I don't recommend it.
I gave it a test drive
myself a few months ago.
Didn't agree with me either.
Are you still in your Point Grey house?
I am.
Although it's felt pretty
cavernous since Anna passed.
- She was an incredible woman.
- Yeah.
- Knew how to throw a party.
- Oh, I know.
Now I hear you're back with Joanne.
Her, I remember, quite a looker.
She's even more beautiful
now if that's possible.
Although things didn't work out with us.
I'm sorry to hear that.
- How's the firm?
- Doing well.
Lots of changes.
Daniel's a partner now.
Good for him.
He's a decent lawyer, but he's silly and
lacks respect for the
shoulders on which he stands.
I can one-up you.
My son has hired
a lawyer to strong-arm
me into handing
over power of attorney.
Buffer, that's terrible.
Let me represent you.
I-I-I don't need help.
Of course not, but a
professional buffer could
save your relationship with your son.
Ahhh, not sure there's anything to save.
But, uh, yes, it's okay.
Stick your hands in the corners of the
fitted sheet, holding it lengthways.
Then bring your hands together.
And the right corner
goes over the left one.
So do I?
This is really hard to learn.
Once you do, it's just
like riding a bicycle.
But I don't know how to ride a bicycle.
How's the trial
roommate situation going?
BOTH: Great.
- How's it really going?
- Honestly, surprisingly well.
He's following all my rules.
- Your 9 a.m. is in the boardroom.
- Thanks.
Hello, Theo. I'm Abigail Bianchi.
How can I help you today?
- I'd like to get a divorce.
- You've come to the right place.
You and your spouse are
claiming irreconcilable differences?
My marriage was destroyed by Jezebel.
- So adultery?
- No, not a mistress.
My mother-in-law.
My husband always prioritized
his relationship with his mother.
Monica's a monster, but he's too blinded by
Oedipal love to see it.
Your ex has certainly
done well for himself.
He created a video
conferencing platform that took off.
- Before or after you got married?
- Before.
Do you have a list of assets
acquired during the marriage?
Oliver took care of
all the business-y stuff.
- I took care of the home.
- We'll request financial disclosure.
That won't be a problem.
We never fought about money,
or sex, or dishes, or anything
but Monica.
You must think it's crazy to end a
relationship over one thing.
Not if it's a deal-breaker.
Speak to you soon.
Cecil, can you get Portia Ifa's office to
send over the financials
for Kip V. Hatcher?
Yeah, totally.
- Hey, do you have a minute?
- Yeah.
I found Ben's secret
vodka stash last night.
I ended it.
I hate that I had to, but
I'm too scared.
If you don't put on your own oxygen
mask first, you're not helping anyone.
I just thought he was it.
[SOBS]
What's going on with you?
Had my first radio segment
at the Phoenix tomorrow.
You'll knock it out of the park.
Also, Maggie and I had sex.
Maggie who abducted your baby?
I think we're getting back together.
- Cool origin story.
- What's a cool origin story?
She's pregnant.
- Who?
- Exactly.
She was a one-night stand.
She has a pet rat.
She says it's mine. Not the rat that
Wait, are you saying
you got her pregnant?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- You brought it up.
I have a partner's meeting.
I need to focus.
Oh, that's the last item on the agenda.
So, meeting adjourned.
Is there something else?
We still need to discuss the other thing.
Jerry, would you mind giving
us a moment to speak privately?
Of course.
I've had time to think about the
merger, these are my terms.
No no no.
We can discuss this in the future No.
Okay.
I'm ready to move
forward with the discussion.
Daniel, you cannot tell anybody about this.
Not Abigail, not Jerry,
not that pasty lawyer
you play with on the beach.
We don't
My lips are sealed.
I reviewed Mr. Hatcher's financials.
Somehow our client's
tech tycoon husband is cash
poor with no assets.
- Smells fishy.
- So, catch the fish?
- So, you want me to?
- Track the money, Cecil.
Ah, got it.
Put a big sign on my door
that says, gone fishing.
Well, if I had a door,
that is I would
Yeah.
Your client's bid for POA is preposterous.
Robert has the sharpest
mind of anyone I know.
No one is questioning
Robert's mental competence.
Obviously, you are a legend.
However, Mr. Jennings
feels that his father would
do better in an assisted living facility.
I bet he does.
Dad, that old house would be a lot
for anyone to handle alone.
I am capable of running my own household.
The gutters are clogged.
There's an inch of dust on everything.
The only thing in the fridge is a
row of expired condiments.
The good news is these
problems can be outsourced.
I have a wonderful
housekeeper, and I recently
learned about a meal delivery
service called Dine Dispatch.
I have tried all of that.
My father turned the cleaner away and told
the Meals on Wheels
woman she was trespassing.
That's hospital food for people
that can't take care of themselves.
Dad, I don't mean you any harm.
Please, would you just
trust that I'm trying to help?
No.
I'm not leaving my house
unless it's in a coffin.
So the trick is, you get
right inside of the sheet.
Why are you all sitting
around playing charades
like children in the middle of a workday?
It's called a lunch break.
When, I started out,
people didn't take breaks.
Yes, before those pesky
labor laws were created.
And the concept of work-life balance.
When I was an articling
student, Robert Jennings
would call his office at 11 p.m.
to see who was still there.
Better brew some more coffee.
Gramps is gearing up for a good old
walk to school uphill both
ways in the snow story.
Enough with the old jokes.
Did none of you learn
to respect your elders?
I honestly don't know why I had children.
I've given you everything and
get nothing but insults in return.
Kids earn investments
on a payback plan, Harry.
Tell my family that.
Literally, the only reason
my grandmother had children
was so she had someone to take care
of her when she was older.
My parents changed my
diapers and I'll change theirs.
I would change your diaper, Dad, if that
makes you feel any better.
I'll wear a noose
before I wear a diaper.
Oh, can we get that in writing?
For the record, this right here is why
I won't commit to a retirement date.
I fear you would just sit around all
day making snotty jokes and
eating fruity miniature yogurts.
Miss Bianchi I caught a big one.
You know those missing assets?
We found them.
Monica.
How is this for a radio sign-off?
"Feelings aren't facts"
Or "The best way out is through."
- Like or
- DNA results are in.
Ahhhh
Baby's mine.
Oh, I feel dizzy.
- Ahhh
- Take some deep breaths. Come, sit down.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to draft a contract
giving Jude sole parenting.
- And child support, obviously.
- That's exactly what I did.
But when Harmony was
born, I changed my mind.
This is different.
You and Maggie were married
and actively planning a family.
All I know about Jude is
she eats cheesies in bed.
- So it's an accident.
- Maybe a happy accident.
- I'm not father material.
- How do you know?
This might surprise
you, but I can be a little
- individually focused.
- You mean selfish?
- I don't know if that's the word.
- Oh, it is.
But Daniel, when you see your child in
front of you, something just switches on.
I don't want to mess this kid up
like Dad messed us up.
I'm the only one Dad actively
parented, and I'm the least messed up.
Let's maybe put a pin in that.
Just don't rush your decision.
And above all, be kind to yourself.
Did you just test
drive a sign off on me?
Oh.
"Be kind to yourself."
Has Nico been hounding you
about this school trip to France?
The kid who's never made it through a
sleepover without
calling to be picked up is
adamant he's ready for
a semester in Europe.
And we have to entertain the idea, right?
Well, we're not monsters.
Of course we'll humor him.
The parent information
session's tonight at six.
- Rock, paper, scissors?
- Oh, it's okay.
I'll take one for the team and represent.
I got nothing else going on.
- Thank you.
- Hm.
Incoming ex-father-in-law.
I will take that as my cue.
Uh-huh.
I just ran into Ben.
Apparently, you two are no
longer dating. What did you do?
Why do both my parents
assume the breakup was my fault?
I don't know what you were thinking.
Ben was a massive upgrade
from that little firefighter.
To be honest, a serious
step up from Frank.
Well, Ben's single
now, if you're interested.
Ready?
- You ready?
- OK.
Come on.
I took the competency
test of my own volition.
Andrew is already in place
for POA when I'm ready.
How is Associate Chief
Judge for Pete's sake?
It's absurd on many levels.
Ah a little trick my
mentor taught me.
Thank you.
This historical accounting
proves that over the course
of their marriage, Mr. Hatcher
fraudulently diverted funds
to his mother.
Luxury homes, cars, designer clothes.
This is money and
property that otherwise would
have remained in the conjugal family.
Mr. Hatcher has been
hiding millions from my
client behind mommy's skirt.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- Ms. Aoife.
I call Mr. Hatcher to the stand.
I didn't tell Theo about
the purchases because
my mom was such a point of contention
in our marriage.
I didn't want to rock the boat.
Mr. Hatcher, will you explain to the court
why you purchased your
mother such extravagant gifts?
Because I owe her everything.
Growing up, it was just the two of us.
My mother was my only friend when I
was a moody teenager.
She gave me the startup
money for my company.
She's been a shoulder to cry on during
this entire painful separation.
I literally owe my mother my life.
Your Honor, my client was never trying to
hide his assets from his husband.
He was simply trying
to show his appreciation
to the woman who
sacrificed everything for him.
I asked the court, is it a crime
to love your mother?
Well, on that touching, if saccharine
note, we'll adjourn for the day.
My father wears dirty
clothes because the washing
machine is in the basement.
With his declining mobility,
the stairs have become
a serious hazard.
He forgets to feed himself.
Given the circumstances,
we ask the court to
extend its exercise of
parents patriae jurisdiction to
declare the defendant as per
the appendix D amendment.
Counsel, kindly stop dropping
glossary terms like you're
writing an in-class essay.
Your Honor, the
plaintiff's grab for power of
attorney is ageism at its worst.
The documents submitted into
evidence overwhelmingly show my
client is compus mentis.
Mr. Jennings is acting like
an overprotective helicopter
parent who won't let his child climb the
monkey bars lest he
fall and get a scratch.
Honorable Judge Jennings,
despite being bone density challenged
at 82, may climb his own stairs all
day long if he so chooses.
Because if a freshman here wants to play
the glossary game, the
Adult Guardianship Act states
that adults are entitled to the right to
refuse all assistance as long as one poses
no risk to others.
That was a master class, Mr. Svensson.
Seriously chills.
But, um, uh, the, uh, about the no
risk to others part, um, I'd actually like
to call, uh, Donna Hayward to the stand.
Mrs. Hayward, did you
converse with your neighbor,
Robert Jennings, on October the 11th?
- I did.
- Would you give the court context?
Robert was backing up his car and drove
over the property line into our driveway.
He ran over our daughter's tricycle.
She had been riding it moments earlier.
That must have been terrifying.
It was, especially since he's
not supposed to be driving.
Would you please, uh, clarify
that last statement for the court?
Robert told me six months ago that his
license had been revoked.
Your Honor, may I
request a short recess?
- Granted.
- Thank you.
- Robert, are you okay?
- No.
- Oh
- [THUDS]
Robert.
Dad?
I can't believe that after 10 years of
setting my own dreams aside to be a
supportive house husband,
I might get next to nothing.
Fight isn't over, Theo.
Get a room.
Instructions are to double
the dose for the first three days.
I heard, I heard.
The ER doctor told me this was one
of the worst bladder
infections he's ever seen.
No wonder you blacked out.
Why didn't you seek medical attention?
I knew he'd hold it against me.
Andrew is really worried about you.
I don't want him anywhere near me.
You're lucky it didn't
migrate to your kidneys.
These last few years have
been a rude awakening.
Don't take your youth for granted, Harry.
I'm nearly 70.
Well, nothing will make your 70s seem more
appealing than your 80s.
Don't waste a moment.
Why did you take your
car out without a license?
I needed milk.
I'm not depending on other people for every
little thing, and I was doing okay until
that showed up in my mailbox,
robbing me of my freedom.
Wait, that letter arrived in the mail?
- May I?
- Ha! Be my guest.
Robert, this letter is a fake.
Hi, sorry, I just finished
cleaning the rat cage.
Exposure to animal feces
can be toxic to fetuses.
That's cat poo.
Rat poo is totally fine.
Now, do you mind if I eat while we talk?
Aren't you gonna wash your hands?
Sorry, I haven't eaten all day.
- It's almost seven.
- I know, but I had to pull an
all-nighter to hit a deadline.
How long has it been
since you last slept?
Two days.
Do you know how much
sugar is in a single can of soda?
- Sugar is natural.
- So is cocaine.
Okay, let's do this paperwork.
Um, I think my assistant
printed off the wrong document.
The students will visit
Versailles, explore the home
of Hugo's Hunchback,
and roam the beaches of
Normandy to see where Allied
soldiers fought for our freedom.
The trip last year to
Barthelona was a huge success.
The kids came home from Barthelona with a
newfound confidence and global mindset.
Most of the students have even kept in
touch with their Barthelona host families.
Do the parents at the back
have anything they'd like to share?
I can't believe I have to shill chocolate
covered almonds, even
though my son is almost
certainly not going on this trip.
How can you rob your son of this
experience after hearing about Barthelona?
Well, obviously, Barthelona
was a trip for the ages.
But my kid can't remember to bring his
agenda home from his dad's.
It's hard to imagine
entrusting him with a passport.
My daughter also suffers from
binder amnesia on switch days.
- I'm Abby, by the way.
- Kieran.
Sorry, I'm ravenous.
No, that was very long and tediouth.
I can tell. These are
going to be addictive.
Yeah, they are.
And at 15 bucks a pop,
that's an expensive habit.
But it's for a good cauth.
As a person who prefers cinema rooted in
realism, I have to say I appreciated the
world-building of Lord
of the Rings last night.
See? I told you you'd like it.
Step right up and get your
chocolate-covered almonds.
Chocolaty, almondy, and
overpriced. Today only.
Uh, no thank you.
I'm surprised you're not tempted.
Well, you know, Winston
doesn't like sweets in the house.
Or coats on the back of chairs.
- Sounds intense.
- No, no.
Winston's just a real rule lover.
Yeah.
Your Honor, Mr. Jennings
Jr. admits he forged
this letter, fraudulently revoking
his father's driver's license.
Objection uh Irrelevant
to this power of attorney case?
- Sustained.
- Okay.
With all due respect, the
plaintiff's actions speak
to his character, which is relevant.
Go on.
Mr. Jennings is asking the court to grant
him decision-making
power, but clearly this proves
he has poor decision-making skills.
He illegally took away
his father's right to drive.
What other rights might he take away if
given power of attorney?
Your Honor, I did that for the safety
of everyone on the road.
My father almost ran over a child.
- Sorry, Dad.
- Sit down, Mr. Jennings.
There's a process on how to handle these
things, and this isn't it.
Shame on you for
undermining your father with
this devious little maneuver.
But all I can rule on is the
matter of power of attorney.
Robert, you know I hold
you in the highest esteem.
And with all the respect and admiration in
the world, I believe
that despite his foolish
misstep, your son has
your best interests at heart.
I hereby grant his order
for power of attorney.
She was sweet, deprived,
stuffing her face with
chips, elbow deep in rodent dung.
- So you didn't give her the paperwork?
- No.
Because you want to be a
part of the baby's life now?
If I'm not, she might kill it.
Either of you like to
purchase some ethically
sourced, lightly roasted
almonds covered in a thick
layer of organic milk cacao?
You're lawyering wrong if
you need a candy side hustle.
I'm fundraising for Nico's school.
- How much is it?
- Fifteen bucks a box.
Oh, that's steep.
You're lawyering wrong
if you can't afford fifteen
dollars for your nephew's education.
Unless you don't care about
the future of the children.
Of course I care about
the future of the children.
Fine, I'll buy a box of wax candy.
I'm in for three, but I'll
have to settle up later.
I'm off to do my first call-in show.
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck, Luce.
Break a leg.
I don't carry cash.
Good luck talking to your mom, Alex.
You've got Kelly online too.
Hi, Kelly.
Hello, Lucy.
Congratulations on your new gig.
Thank you.
Uh, how can I help you today, Kelly?
I was in a relationship with a woman
who claimed she wanted something serious.
I made our house a home, protected her
from the toxic people
in her life, booked
us a vacation when she was overworked.
But at the first hiccup
in the relationship,
she abruptly broke
up with me and illegally
tried to evict me.
When I refused to leave, she ambushed me
with her attorney father
who threatened to sabotage
my career if I didn't leave immediately.
That's a lot to unpack here.
Do you have a question?
I'm just trying to make
sense of it all, Lucy.
Well, the first thing I'd say is it's
important to remember
that there are two sides
to every story.
Are you saying you don't believe me?
- No, that's not
- Because that sounds a
- lot like victim blaming.
- Should I pull the plug?
First of all, I would
never blame a victim.
However, a relationship
involves two people, so it's
difficult to dissect with
only one of you here.
As an exercise, I invite you to adopt
your ex-girlfriend's point of view.
- Sound good, Kelly?
- Sure.
If she were here, would she say that
she felt protected by you?
As an example, would she say that there
was a betrayal of trust that came to
light that precipitated
that abrupt breakup?
It appears we've lost Kelly.
Kelly, if you can hear
me, be kind to yourself.
We have Corey on the line.
Hi, Corey.
Bravo, Lucy.
Well done.
You were brilliant.
But also, oh my god, that was insane.
Are you okay?
Honestly, I'm great.
How'd it go?
Well, there was some big surprises.
Nice of you to tune in.
I'm gonna listen online later, I promise.
I'm just trying to figure out how to
save my client from a doomed
day in divorce court first.
- Why is it doomed?
- It's sad, actually.
It seems like a solid
relationship, except my
client's husband is under
his mother's thumb, like
serious Norman Bates vibes.
Enmeshment is almost
always a marriage killer.
- Why?
- Mom and son were
probably always codependent.
Son gets married.
Mom's fear of losing her
surrogate spouse spikes,
tightens her grip,
interferes to the point where
son has no autonomy,
then uses her influence
to alienate the affection from her son to
her spouse so she can
have son all to herself again.
And this is why you've got a radio show.
Alienation of affection.
Are you seriously running with this?
1965 called, they want their tort back.
It's an oldie but a goodie.
It's an abolished legal argument.
May I beg the court's indulgence?
You already set up the monitor.
Mr. Hatcher, could you
give the court context
for this photo?
That's Theo and me on
our honeymoon in Sayulita.
And this photo?
A Valentine's dinner at Coquette.
And this one?
Theo receiving his
PhD after four long years
in a grueling dissertation process.
It was a big deal.
There is nothing more
torturous than sitting through
somebody else's family
slideshow, Miss Bianchi.
What's your point?
My point is there's a bigger picture in
the dissolution of this marriage.
May I draw the court's attention to Mrs.
Hatcher crashing her son
and son-in-law's honeymoon.
Mrs. Hatcher inviting herself to
their romantic Valentine's dinner.
Mr. Kipp's commencement ceremony.
In Mr. Hatcher's own words, a big deal.
And yet he didn't take this photo.
In fact, he missed his husband's
commencement ceremony entirely.
Why?
Because Mrs. Hatcher called
with a conveniently timed
and imaginary crisis.
My vertigo came back. That is a crisis.
I'll have order in my court.
With a little more
context, these photos tell
the story of a mother who was so
threatened by her son's
marriage, she intentionally alienated
his affection, directly causing
my client pain and suffering.
Oh, so now I'm on trial.
You might be if you keep this up.
Andrew, I'm here to see
how your father's holding up.
Well, I appreciate that,
but dad's gone AWOL.
What do you mean he's AWOL?
I came to pick him up to tour
some retirement homes and he's gone.
I will never forgive myself if
something happens to him.
- Robert will be fine.
- Will he? He's 82 years old.
He's fragile.
Why is he fighting this so hard?
Assisted living is a tough pill to swallow.
Well, we wouldn't have to go this route
if he would just accept some help.
I have no idea where he is.
- I need to call the police
- Hold off for a bit.
Please.
I am so sorry again about yesterday.
What are you apologizing for?
I was unprofessional.
On the contrary, you were a total pro.
Seriously, watching you
navigate your abusive ex while
she stalked you on air
solidified your badassery.
She definitely created a false narrative.
- Luce, she's unhinged.
- Heh-heh.
If anyone needs to apologize, it's me.
She never should have made it through.
On the bright side,
the data came back
and the numbers were awesome.
First of all, I'd like to thank Miss
Bianchi for her entertaining
argument pulled from the scrolls.
- Kudos on the big swing.
- Court favors the brave.
And it's not the quote.
Glad you got to stretch
your personal injury
legs, but third-party emotional
damages won't fly in family court.
I see no evidence that
contradicts Mr. Hatcher's
statements that his
gifts to his mother were
given in good faith.
All right, hang on with all
the looks each other. I'm not done.
Miss Bianchi's slide
show did convince me that
Mrs. Hatcher is exercising undue influence.
I find that the properties were put into
Monica Hatcher's name fraudulently.
She has no legal right to them.
Mr. Kipp is entitled to half of all
the marital assets.
Seriously, Abby, I can't even.
You're a courtroom queen.
Well, I got you the baseline
divorce settlement, Theo. That's it.
No, you validated my experience.
I didn't know that's what
I needed until I got it.
You think there's any
hope for you and Oliver?
I think I have to accept the fact
that he's damaged and I can't fix him.
I'm through with mama's boys.
Recovered mama's boys, though.
I'm glad I found you.
I am not bunking down with
a bunch of drooling cabbages.
I want to file an appeal.
I'm advising against it.
We won't win, which you already know.
Do you remember how you used to keep
a scoreboard of all the lawyers' wins in
the staff lounge?
I should thank you.
Your workplace ethos served me well.
So much of my ego was
wrapped up in those wins.
However, as I've grown
older, I've realized not
all wins belong on the scoreboard.
As much as I complain about Daniel, I've
learned from watching him work that if you
are willing to relinquish
some control, brave some
vulnerability, and trust
that both sides are working
towards a common goal,
sometimes you actually get
more of what you want.
- I see what you're doing.
- I talked to Andrew.
He says if you agree to downsize, accept
all home care visits,
stop haranguing the poor
Meals on Wheels
volunteer, you can continue to
live an independent life.
Harry, I am sorry, but I cannot stomach
that Meals on Wheels woman.
I'm going to need you to teach me
how this Dine Dispatch thing works.
Okay.
You'll never guess how
I salvaged Kip versus
Why are you reading that?
Shut the door.
I'm expecting a child.
Congratulations?
I didn't know you were seeing anyone.
No, I'm not. And yet, we're pregnant.
Well, she's pregnant.
You are reading an 80s guide to mom
-shaming while binge-eating candy.
I would appreciate your discretion.
I would like to share the
news with Dad myself.
Sure, if you stop micromanaging me.
Deal.
And if you buy 40 boxes of
chocolate-covered almonds.
- 30.
- 38.
Fine.
- How are you feeling?
- Unprepared.
You've never been unprepared
for anything in your life, Daniel.
In fact, all of your
annoying qualities make
you oddly suited for parenthood.
I mean, you already
carry Craig on your chest.
Right.
Having a baby is just like having a dog.
You make it so hard to be on your side.
I just put the kettle on.
Do you want some tea?
Sure, thanks.
Okay.
Oh, it felt so good to wake up
all together the other day.
It did, but before you go any further,
I should tell you I'm seeing someone.
It's early days, but I'm
excited to see where it goes.
Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.
I'm happy for you.
Thanks.
- How did the show go?
- It was good.
Yeah, of course it was.
I'm proud of you.
So, I'll pick the munchkin
up in the morning around 8.
Perfect.
You know how much I hate losing, but
between you and me, Judge Gill's ruling was
a blessing in disguise.
His ego was ruining his life.
Well, one of the most important things I
learned in sobriety was
leaving my ego at the door.
I'll never be the first to tell you,
I muck it up all the time.
I think you're doing all right.
The challenge is to learn that
life lesson before it's too late.
You want to watch the second
Lord of the Rings tonight?
I think I'm too tired.
Oh, no.
Are you not sleeping well in the foldout?
- No, no. The couch is super comfy.
- So why are you so tired?
Maybe just having to wake up
early to abide by your morning rules.
What morning rules?
Just like how you want
the fitted sheet folded.
Okay.
Takes me half an hour to get the
silk edges tucked into
the little elastic pockets.
And how you want me to towel dry
the shower walls after every use.
But by the time I'm done drying everything,
I'm so sweaty, I need another shower.
And then you ask me to leave the
apartment for 15 minutes
every morning, and it's
almost right after I pour myself a big
bowl of Cheerios, and I get back and
the Cheerios is soggy, and I know it's
not my apartment, but honestly, it is very
confusing to be told to walk around the
block at random intervals.
I have parka precess.
Winston, are you dying?
No, I'm poop shy.
You should have just said that.
You can stay in the apartment when I
go to the washroom.
No, it's a good excuse
to get my steps in.
Oh, thank God.
Can I just roll up the
fitted sheet though?
If you stuff it in the cupboard where
I can't see it, uneven
edges make my eye twitch.
Deal.
Mr. Frodo, here we come.
I've sold 48 boxes of chocolate almonds so
other people's kids can stuff
themselves full of croissants.
You're a real philanthropist now.
Since I've already invested
all this humanitarian aid,
I'm wondering if we should just send Nico
on the trip.
Are you serious?
I don't want to coddle him just because
he's young for his age.
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
I have to fly to Paris to retrieve
him in the middle of the trip?
Okay.
Yeah, let's toss this
kid out of the nest.
Nico takes Paris.
Great, okay.
I'll tell Madame Gale.
I'm so glad we've
gotten to this place, Abby.
We're killing it with the co-parenting.
We really are.
Good thing, since it sounds like we might
be working together soon too.
What do you mean?
Well, because of the merger.
What merger?