Happy Days (1974) s04e06 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la ♪
La, la, la ♪
La ♪
.
So, Rich, I'm driving along in my car,
and all of a sudden it started making these weird noises.
(distant siren wailing) What noises?
K-pec, k-pec, k-pec, then
(blowing raspberry)
What a bod.
Who cares about the body if the engine doesn't work?
It kept going k-pec, k-pec, k-pec,
I took it to the Fonz
when it started going k-pok, k-pok
K-wow, k-wow, k-wow.
Hi.
My name's Ralph Malph.
I start college in the fall.
(siren blaring)
Air raid! Air raid!
Don't panic, this is just a drill.
Everybody head for the basement.
Al, Al, a fire engine went by, that's all.
Oh, pshaw,
I never get to wear the helmet.
We're starting our own fire right here.
You're doing real good, Gina.
Hey, come here, Ralph.
What are you doing?
I was right in the middle of getting
You were right in the middle of getting nothing.
She's helping me out that happens to be my niece.
Didn't you see the resemblance?
No. No.
Well, she's not wearing a hat.
Darling, you better get down from there.
You'll get hurt. Come on.
Aren't you cold?
There's such a draft, here, put this sweater on.
It's too cold.
(girls screaming)
Oh, oh
Oh, it was awful.
It was terrible.
Oh, boy, I need some water.
Fonz, was-was your garage on fire?
I'll tell you something,
it was horrible
maybe oily rags
flames swoosh!
It was just terrible!
Who's the new chick with the hammer?
Fonz, Fonz, listen, you gotta sit down.
Sit down and take it easy.
All right, now-now, tell us what happened.
I was in my office, taking a nap, you know?
And I was just this beautiful dream.
I was on this tropical island
with two beautiful chicks.
Only two, Fonz? Well, it was a
it was a short nap, Malph. Oh.
But I'm telling you something,
if that guy wasn't there that dragged me out,
it would have been curtains for the Fonz.
Well, who? Who did it?
I don't know, these two hands came through the smoke,
pulled me out, that's all I know, huh?
Pulled me out of the garage.
Okay, go on, Fonz.
The next thing I know,
I am lying flat on my back on the sidewalk.
And then some fireman wants to give me a kiss.
Oh, no.
No, see, he was giving you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
I knew that.
He just should have told me before I dented his helmet.
Well-well, tell me,
did you ever figure out who it was that saved you?
No.
Somewhere out there,
there is a guy walking around in a Jefferson jacket,
who saved the Fonz
from being a barbecued chicken.
And I want to tell you something.
I want to tell you something.
Any favor he wants, he gets.
CROWD: Wow!
You need some more water? Oh, yeah.
All right, more water, more water,
the man needs more water!
Hey, Pots,
what, did your father make you clean the chimney again?
It was terrible!
Wait a minute.
Your were in the fire? Yeah.
Here, have some water. Thanks.
He's got a Jefferson jacket.
Potsie saved you.
Nah.
It was incredible.
That's Fonzie's water.
I was passing by the garage when I smelled smoke.
Then I heard screams.
Aaayyh, aaayyh, aaayyh, aaayyh, aaayyh, aaayyh.
Oh, maybe not screams.
Anyway, I ran inside,
and I dragged the Fonz out.
Potsie, you're a hero!
(cheering and laughter) Yeah?
All right, all right, ho!
Just step back, girls, step back.
Oh, Fonz.
I'm the Italian; I'll do the hugging.
Unbelievable, Potsie,
you did good.
Any favor you want, you got.
(crowd murmuring)
Now go wash up you look like Smokey the Bear.
Thanks, Fonz. Yeah.
Give him some air, give him some air, come on.
I'll tell you something,
if it wasn't for him, I'd look like Ralph's car.
(chuckles)
You mean he left my car in the garage?
He went off without it?
Well, maybe he didn't have time.
He had time to pull him out!
Aaayyh.
Sorry, Fonz.
Oh, no, my car!
(piano playing)
.
.
Can I be finished now?
Yes, Vickie, you can be finished.
Joanie, dear, will you get Vickie's coat?
There you go, dear.
Howard Mmm?
Remember when the children were small?
Yeah.
Oh, I wish that we had a little one
around here sometimes.
Well, we got ten minutes, Marion.
Howard, just put your coat on.
Oh, Dad, has Potsie showed up here yet?
Why would Potsie come over here?
We've already had dinner.
No, no, it's not for dinner.
See, uh,
Fonzie feels that since Potsie saved his life
that he owes him a favor.
Yeah, it's called the Fonzarelli code.
A man saves your life,
any favor he asks, you gotta answer it.
You know? I mean like in-in Sicily?
Uncle Vito, he had his life saved by a midget.
A midget? FONZIE: Yeah.
What did he ask for?
Height!
Well, in a way, you know, in a way.
Every time there was a parade in town,
Uncle Vito had to take that midget,
put him on his shoulders so he could see.
That's right,
I-I was told it was a very moving experience.
You know, speaking of moving,
Ginny Picalow's project is waiting.
Yes, dear,
we will make it to the Open House on time.
What's your project, Joanie?
Oh, I wrote a composition,
"My Parents are Still Frisky."
Howard,
she-she wouldn't.
Well, who knows, Marion?
What will we do if she reads it
in front of the whole auditorium?
We'll move. Good.
(doorbell rings)
Oh, I bet that's Potsie.
What do you think he's gonna ask for, Fonz? Well,
what do you think goes with his Huckleberry Hound lunch box?
Hey, Rich. Oh, come on in, guys.
Yeah. Thanks, Richie.
Hey, Fonz. Hey. Hi, Fonz.
What are you doing here?
My car's all burned up, remember?
Potsie's giving me a ride home.
Yeah, it's hard,
he keeps getting his feet stuck in the spokes.
Well, if you didn't have your sister's bike,
I wouldn't have to ride on the handlebars.
Oh, you're lucky you got a ride at all.
All right, all right, here, time out here, time out,
we're not here to bicker about bicycles.
You had a whole day to think about it,
now what do you want, Potsie?
All right, now anything you want, Potsie,
anything at all, Fonzie will give it to you,
you just tell him what you want. Uh, Cunningham?
Let us not push the kid.
Oh. What do you want now?
A new thermos for your lunch box?
Or, uh, uh, uh,
a new a new bell for your bike?
A date with the Aloha Pussycats?
Can be arranged. Take 'em!
Take the Pussycats!
No.
No, I don't think I want that.
But, can I sit down for a minute, Fonz?
Yeah, sure. Aw, thanks.
Uh
I've given thought
to different things, Fonz.
And, uh, well, I picked something that means a lot to me.
Shoot.
Yeah.
I want to pal around with you, Fonz.
You want to, uh, pal around?
Yeah. With me?
Yeah.
You and I together, all the time.
Just like this
pal.
La, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la, la ♪
Pals, huh?
Potsie pals.
Look, we are pals.
Don't you want something more exciting?
How about a, uh, a piano!
Oh, uh,
no, Fonz.
I want to be your special pal.
Why?
Well, I never had a sp
well, kids do things with their fathers, right?
Ralph and his dad go fishing together.
Oh yeah, he puts worms in my shoes
and I put minnows down his back.
It's great, he loves it.
Yeah!
I know what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna get you a fishing pole
and a can of worms, huh?
Aw, Rich and his dad are so close
he even told him about sex.
Yeah, but he got most of it wrong, anyway.
Look, uh, Potsie, look, uh,
you know being pals, that's a that's a cute idea
I knew you'd like it, Fonz!
I'll give you my phone number.
We'll do everything I never got to do with my father.
I think I just adopted Potsie.
Yeah, well, I-I don't think
he means he wants to spend every minute with you.
Oh, no, Fonz, he only means
about three or four times a week,
right, Pots? Oh, yeah.
Here, Fonz, you need some time to yourself.
Aaayyh.
Whoa.
Oh, I got a great idea for Tuesday night.
Oh, yeah?
Where are the pals going? The circus?
(humming circus theme)
How would you like to be a fist swallower?
Nah, Ralph, the circus isn't until Thursday.
Tuesday, we can go to the bumper cars.
Bumper cars! Yeah.
Sounds like big fun, Fonz.
Oh, hey, Fonz, I know it sounds silly,
but I never did it.
All right, all right, we'll do it.
We'll do it. Oh, great!
Ooh, hey!
Next week, we can go roller-skating.
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Forget it, I don't skate.
I'll teach you.
Hey, don't
Come on, don't you want a date
with the Aloha Pussycats?
Oh, yeah.
Bring them along, too.
I'll teach them.
See you, buddies.
So long, pal.
There is nothing he can teach them.
Hey, Fonz, are you afraid to skate?
Afraid?
If the man upstairs wanted us to skate,
we would be born with little wheels on our feet.
♪♪
(whistle blows)
MALE ANNOUNCER: All right,
everybody down to the north end of the rink
for the three-legged skate race.
(excited murmuring)
Hey, wait a minute.
What happened to Fonzie?
He's right behind us.
Come on.
Isabell Polinka just went by.
It looks like she split her seam.
Whip! Double whip!
I'll wait for Fonz.
Hey, come on, Fonz.
Fonz, it's really terrific.
Now just come on down here.
Come on.
Excellent, Fonz, ex
Whoa, Fonz
Fonz, I can't believe you didn't skate as a child.
I was never a child.
Look, all those children are skating.
Let's do something grown-ups do.
No, wait, Fonz, watch.
Watch me, it's real easy.
Just watch me, relax and glide.
See? Great.
Nothing to it.
Come on, all the cute chicks are out there.
Somehow, I got a feeling they're gonna come around.
I'm gonna wait for them right here.
Yeah, well, I'll tell you,
I'm gonna go scout around, but don't worry,
I'm gonna get you set up for tonight, pal.
Hey, Fonz.
Where's Richie?
Oh, he's skating behind Isabell Polinka.
He's waiting for her seam to go.
POTSIE: Hey, Fonz, look!
Backwards hey.
Hey.
(whistle blowing)
Hey, Fonz, Potsie showed us your circus pictures.
(laughing)
Malph, the man saved my life.
Oh, but you looked so cute
with your little clown's hat and balloon.
Just cool it!
Sorry, Fonz, sorry.
All right, get me up.
Anybody see?
No, no.
Fonz, I missed you yesterday.
Where were you?
Well, I went to Potsie's family reunion.
Wall-to-wall Potsies.
POTSIE: Fonz, Fonz, guess what?
You'll never be
Sorry.
Sorry, pal, I didn't
I didn't mean it.
Pal.
It's just it's just that there's a bunch
of cute chicks on the other side of the rink.
Oh, yeah? Come on Pots, let's go trip
some of those girls.
I better go.
Never had so much fun, huh, Fonz?
Fun, lot of fun.
(whistle blowing)
Kathy, Scott, look at this.
Hey, mister, what's the matter?
First of all, I ain't a mister, and second of all,
why don't you go off and play?
ALL: Why?
He wants us to get out of here
'cause he doesn't know how to skate.
He doesn't know how to skate?
ALL: Na, na, na-na, na.
(mocking): Na, na, na-na, na.
Little kids can do this, Potsie can do this, I can do this.
(rattling)
Hey.
Oh, be careful!
Say, I could give you some lessons.
Yeah, you take off those skates,
.
Gee, I think your lessons
might be a little bit more fun.
.
POTSIE: Fonz, Fonz, I saw you fall.
Gosh oh, excuse me, ma'am.
Here, out of the way, I'll help my pal.
I'll I'll help him up.
All right.
Come on.
Are you crazy?
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, here, Fonz, let me here, come on.
I promise I'll go get her back for you.
Just stand right here, I'll go get her.
Don't move, Fonz.
(skates rolling)
I'm still standing.
I'm getting good at this.
All right.
Hey, get over here.
Hey, uh, Potsie, take it easy.
Turn around.
Elm Street, 4222, get out of here.
Pretend you're happy when you're blue ♪
It isn't very hard to do Psst.
RALPH: All right, Fonz, you're
I fixed your car, it's in the garage, huh?
All right, Fonz!
He fixed my car, my trusty car.
Inspiration Point, here I come.
(snaps fingers)
Where's Potsie?
I don't know, I think he split,
but I can probably find him for you
if you want me to, Fonz.
Oh, yeah, you don't want me to find him.
All right, in my office.
Feel like playing some basketball?
No.
Cunningham, I'm telling you, it is making me crazy.
I got to stop this.
I got to find some way to stop this.
Well, is it Potsie?
No, no, no, it's not Potsie.
I-I'm having trouble learning how to crochet.
(chuckling): Yeah, crochet.
Will you give me that ball.
Of course, it's Potsie.
Everywhere I go,
everywhere I turn, he is there.
It's like having gum on your shoe.
Well, it can't be that bad.
Potsie's a pretty nice guy.
Yeah, so is Pinky Lee,
but I don't go roller-skating with him.
Fonz, why don't you just break the Fonzarelli Code?
Yeah, it's not just the code, Red.
It's not just the code.
You see, I mean, I feel this way about anybody.
You know, I mean, I like him.
It's just the Fonz needs his room.
Why don't you just tell him to pick something else?
Maybe he'll choose the Aloha Pussycats.
Yeah, and maybe he'll choose to be my roomie.
I got to face it, I got to help him relive his childhood.
It's just a wonderful life of circuses and bumper cars.
Well, it's not too bad, Fonz.
The rodeo is coming to town next week.
Roy Rogers!
Trigger does tricks.
He knows how to count.
Cunningham
Right, sorry, Fonz.
I heard Trigger also knows how to multiply.
Get out of here!
I ask him for advice he counts like a horse.
You?
You wait.
I-I just came to get the
Hey, Fonz.
My pal's here, I got split.
How you doing, Pots? Where you been?
Oh, you know, Fonz, I've been around.
Yeah, what festivities you got planned
for me tonight, a little skeet ball?
Oh, no, nothing like that.
No, but
can I sit down and talk to you for a second?
Sit down, shoot.
Thanks.
Uh
I just want you to know that, uh,
I really appreciate you letting me hang around.
I mean, I never never had a big brother
or anything like that.
Hey, Pots It's really
you saved my life.
Yeah, I saved your life.
Oh, hey, I-I really had a great time at the circus.
I framed that picture of you with the balloon.
Yeah, hey, uh, do me a favor on that one, will you?
Hang that one in the closet.
I understand, sure.
I mean we really had a lot of fun together.
That's why it's really hard to tell you that, uh
we just can't hang around together anymore.
We can't?
No, uh
you see, Fonz, I need my room.
Hey, now, that's funny, because I just, uh
yeah, I was just saying that.
Yeah, so you know what I mean.
I sure do.
And we can still be friends, right?
I mean
I figure you'd do the same for me in a fire.
Hey, you got it, Pots.
I got it.
So, Fonz, uh
you don't owe me anything anymore.
Hey, my date's here.
Pots?
You're all right.
Thanks, Rich.
I was supposed to have a date with Isabell Polinka tonight,
but she's home sewing her seam.
Would you like going down to the gym
and playing some basketball?
I'm trying to work on my left hand dribble.
(muttering): No, that's okay.
I'll introduce you to some of my friends.
Hey, Fonz.
Looks like you're gonna have a hot time tonight.
What are you talking about, me?
Me and Pots are going to have a hot time tonight,
if you got one more "pal night" left inside you.
All right, Fonz!
FONZIE: All right.
Oh three for me and three for you?
Well, don't get excited, you know?
Oh.
Four and two?
Hey.
Hey, Fonz, can I have the one on the left?
Yeah my left.
Right, right.
FONZIE: All right,
let's go trip the light fantastic.
Okay.
Whoa!
Aloha-ay ♪
Aloha-ay ♪
Hey, Rich.
Aloha.
The ball.
Oh, I know, I'm sorry.
All those guys ever think about is chicks.
Yeah.
There are other things, you know, like sports.
Cooking. And school: More important things.
BOTH: Nah.
BOTH: Aloha-ay ♪
Aloha-ay ♪
You got another niece, Al?
No.
Aloha. ♪
(scatting in falsetto)
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Good-bye gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪