Hannah Montana s04e07 Episode Script

oh, yeah ooh, ah, ooh Lilly, you have got to come horseback riding with me! It is so much fun! There's something about being on a horse That makes you feel so happy, so alive So not gonna happen.
You don't know what you're missing.
I think I do, and it looks like it chafes.
Come on.
Riding is a big part of my life And I want to share it with my best friend.
I can't believe you're afraid to get on blue jeans.
I am not afraid to get on blue jeans.
I'm afraid of falling off blue jeans.
But you skateboard, snowboard and surf.
What's the difference? Uh, surfboards don't go and weigh 2,000 pounds.
[horse whinnying.]
All right, all right, 1,800, but the saddle makes you look hippy.
At least he has hips, you gutless jellyfish! Oh, I'm gutless? Two words for you, missy: - "rope climb.
" - ooh.
[all applauding.]
Your turn, miley.
Ok.
I can do this.
Just gotta take a running start.
[all chanting.]
go! Go! Go! See ya, suckers! Yeah, that's right.
The girl can sing the climb, She just can't do it.
It's not the same! That rope is cruel, pointless torture.
The only thing that is holding me up there Is the strength of my very attractive yet tragically weak hands.
At least the rope can't suddenly decide, "oh, there's a really low branch.
I think I'll go really fast and try and get under it.
" Come on, look at this face.
He's not gonna hurt you.
"oh, come on, lilly.
Riding me's gonna bring joy and happiness into your life.
And firmness into those slightly jiggly thighs.
" - [gasps.]
- what? He said it, not me.
All right, I'll make you a deal: You climb the rope and I'll ride the stinkin' horse.
- [whinnies.]
- no offense, blue jeans, But you do make poopies on the floor.
Ok, fine.
Go get changed and then we'll ride.
Uh, hello.
Why do I have to go first? Fine.
We'll flip a coin.
If it lands on heads, it's me.
Tails, it's you.
- Ok.
- Ready? [coin plopping.]
- Ooh - Oh It's deep in there.
Yeah, but, you know, I'm pretty sure it's heads.
How do you know? We'll flip again.
Uh, no, we will not flip it.
- Uh - [groans.]
Do I really have to do this? After what I went through yesterday, oh, yeah.
[miley.]
whoo! Here we go, everybody! come on you get the limo out front oooh hottest styles every shoe, every color yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun it's really you but no one ever discovers who would have thought that a girl like me would double as a superstar Whooo! you get the best of both worlds chill it out take it slow then you rock out the show you get the best of both worlds mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds See the rope, feel the rope, be the rope.
Or Ditch the rope, fix the hair, hit the mall.
Oh, no.
I am climbing this bad boy And you are gettin' on that horse I did it! I did it! You know this doesn't count, right? Oh! I'm a good four inches higher than I was an hour ago! Well, congratulations.
While you descend to base camp, I'll be home Not riding blue jeans.
Oh, and, uh, for what it's worth, hard as a rock.
Wait, no! Don't leave me here like this! yeah, yeah, yeah Oh! [moaning.]
[smacking lips.]
Son, you know, one of these days siena's parents are gonna want to share a meal with you.
[belches loudly.]
When that day comes, I suggest you don't make it breakfast.
For your information, dad, siena likes me just the way that I am.
- [doorbell rings.]
- [siena.]
knock, knock, knock.
[exhales.]
whoa! [sniffs.]
yow! [exclaiming.]
ow! Well, that oughta give it some tang.
[wincing.]
good morning, my lovely.
Oh, are you ever not adorable? Depends on if you like spit in your lemonade.
I, uh Thought you had a photo shoot.
Ok, that's kinda getting old now.
Can we move on? I'm trying.
So I've gotta get to the shoot.
But here's that book I told you about.
And I can't wait to read it! Seriously, enough with the voice.
[wincing.]
ok, bye.
[gargling.]
Whoo, doggies! To kill a mockingbird? Now, son, that's a real book right there, now.
Hundreds of pages, no pictures.
Dad, really No pictures? You know what? It doesn't matter.
That's fine.
This is my girlfriend's favorite book and if she wants me to read it, Then read it I shall With the eyes of love.
Aaaaand begin.
[snoring.]
ah, ah, ooh, ah, ooh Miley, give it up, all right? You're never gonna climb the rope and I'm never gonna ride the horse.
Tragic, but somehow I'll survive.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
You're gonna know the joy of riding if I have to climb 100 ropes Which I don't, 'cause our deal was one.
Hey, lilly, when did oliver get back? What are you talking about? He's still on tour.
Then who's the shaggy-haired pasty-faced guy Who just slammed his finger in a locker and screamed like a girl? [gasping.]
Ollie-pop! [Miley.]
Lilly, come back, look! I did it! I did it! But you were And I was And now you're What are you, a vampire? Hey, life is full of surprises.
I'm at the top of the rope, and your girlie man-friend is out in the hallway.
Ollie-pop! Wow, my first lie.
What a rush! I have to try that again.
Hey, ms.
Kunkle, nice shoes! They're really not! Ok, boys, lemme down.
Make it quick before lilly finds out it's really just emo ernie In a pair of skinny jeans, you know what I'm saying? [exclaims.]
Little too fast! hey, yeah, hey, yeah Wow! Talk about your page-turner.
Little help here! Uh, sorry, dad.
Lost in the fascinating world that is to kill a Dribgnikcom! Uh, mockingbird! Dribgnikcom was the original title, in honor of the author's swedish grandmother [swedish accent.]
inga dribgnikcom.
Really?.
I loved that book but I don't remember that part.
Wetl, I guess I just care a little bit more about classic works of literature.
Now if you'll excuse me, I don't wanna lose my mockingbird mojo.
Or, as we say like in swedish [swedish accent.]
dribgnikcom ojom, by yiminy Cricket.
So what'd you think of the way the author introduced jem's broken arm? Shh! Dad, don't spoil it.
I haven't got there yet.
It's the first sentence of the book.
If you don't count the title page, Which I found so riveting, I've read 71 times.
Two days and that's as far as you got? It's just so thick! And there are so many words and they're all Different! Dad, I'm part of the video game generation.
I can't handle long and slow, I need short and fast! Son, if you don't finish that book, your relationship With your b-b-bikini model's gonna be short and fast.
Come on, son, think about it.
The brain's a muscle.
You gotta exercise it.
You dig into a classic like to kill a mockingbird, Before you know it, your eyes are gonna be glued to the [snoring.]
Inside of your eyelids.
One day, you're gonna make me proud, son Just hope I can survive all those other days.
Brain is a muscle, right? Dad? Dad? Ok, now where was I? Well, at least I'm reading If you count "grrrrr" as a word.
And I do.
What are you looking at me for, you troglodyte! Troglo-what? Look it up! Wow, that was weird! You're gonna read that book and you're gonna read it now! But reading hurts.
Not as much as this! - [grunts.]
- [exclaims.]
You see, reading is a joy! [yelling.]
ow! Reading takes you to new and exciting places! [whimpering.]
daddy! You can't see me! - [shrieking.]
- [yelling.]
- [thump.]
- [exclaims.]
I gotta start reading.
But first a sandwich.
yeah, yeah, ooh Come on, stop looking at me like that.
I only lied so lilly could know the joy of riding a horse.
And so I could be right.
But that stays between us.
Shh I'm ready! For what? Shipping yourself off to wimpy world? Hey, sounds fun! Let's go there instead! Uh-uh-uh! Your bubble-wrapped butt ain't goin' nowhere.
Come on.
- No, miley, please! - Oh, come on! If you didn't wanna go riding, why'd you put on that outfit? 'cause I look cute in it.
Lilly, you promised you'd ride the horse if I climbed the rope.
And I sucked it up and I climbed that rope.
[horse nickers.]
Ok, you're right.
I'll do it.
- Ok.
- Ok.
It's easy.
All you have to do is hang on.
To the horse! - Oh, right.
Ok.
- Ok, ready? - [grunting.]
- one, two, three.
Am I on? Open your eyes and find out.
I'm on a horse! [gasping.]
I'm on a horse! [nervous.]
I'm on a horse! It's ok, just hold on.
I'll take you down to the barn, We'll get dad's horse and we'll go for a ride.
Not so fast! Not so fast! We're not moving yet.
- Right.
- Now we're moving.
[gasping.]
not so fast! Not so fast! Look at me, look at me, I'm doing it, I'm doing it! Oh, my gosh! Yeah, riding with you, not as much fun as I pictured it.
Hey, I'm going faster than you! - Hey - I'm going faster than you! Why didn't you tell me how fun this was! - What was I thinking? - Come on - [horse whinnies.]
- whoa, whoa whoa whoa! [lilly hits ground.]
- Lilly! - [groaning.]
- Are you ok? - No, my leg! Daddy! [whinnying.]
Dad! ooh, whoa, ooh Don't worry, I'll take such good care of you, You won't even know your leg's broken.
- Ow! - Ooh Starting now! - Sorry, hold on.
- Ow! [grunting.]
- [exclaims.]
- I meant now.
Sorry, sorry, I meant now.
Mile, I'm sure glad you can sing, 'cause you sure don't have a future in nursing.
[phone beeps.]
Oh Great news.
Jackson found blue jeans and they're on their way here now.
Oh, that's great.
I was really worried.
You don't think it was anything I did, right? Heck no, honey, anything could've spooked him.
A flock of birds, a shadow in the bushes, anything Yeah.
I'm just really sorry this happened.
Don't be.
You were right.
Riding blue jeans was fun.
And besides, we made a deal.
I said I would ride the horse if you climbed the rope.
And you climbed the rope and I know how hard that was for you.
Yep That's right.
I climbed the rope.
Clearly I climbed the rope, 'cause you saw me up there.
It's not like I didn't climb the rope, Because how else would I have gotten up there? [nervous laugh.]
It's not like I lied about the rope to get you on the horse.
Miley? I lied about the rope to get you on the horse.
- You what?! - Ok, look, I'm really sorry.
I know it was wrong, but I knew you'd like riding blue jeans.
And you did, up until the whole little boo-boo part.
Come here, I'll boo-boo you! Ok, look, I know I lied, but I did it with love.
All right, you're gonna have to come down eventually.
And when you do, I'll be here [whispering.]
Waiting! Dad? Dad I got blue jeans back in the barn, but he's kinda limping.
- What? - What? I'll call the vet.
- Is he gonna be ok? - It was a snake bite.
He must've gotten it after he ran off.
But I was able to treat it in time, And blue jeans is gonna be just fine.
- Oh, good.
- Great news.
So, what's gonna happen now? Well, the leg's still really sore, So he's reluctant to put any weight on it.
But once he does, he's gonna be fine.
Would it help if we nagged him a little? Get it? "nag?" - [all.]
'cause he's a horse.
- Got it.
Or you could go back in there, tell him that joke, And he may just run for the hills again.
Burned! Up high, doc! But you should know, earlier today, this hand Pulled a calf out of a mama cow.
You're really enjoying this, aren't you? Yep.
When you're a vet, you live for these moments.
Just try to get him back up on his feet, I'll check back in later.
- Ok? - Thank you.
Thanks, doc.
Hey, you work with animals.
- Ever read to kill a mockingbird? - Of course.
I loved it.
Think you could sum it up in the time it takes to walk to your car? You can skip the title page, I got that.
You do know it's not about an actual bird, right? Duh! Not about a bird Come on, blue jeans.
You heard dr.
Yamada.
Everything's fine, all you gotta do is stand up.
So, here we go, let's go, hno! Get it? "horse's night out?" Oh, no, dad, I'm turning into you.
Huh? Huh? You know you wanna share a hay bale with this one.
Her name is suzanne! She likes carrots, apples and long walks on the horse-approved beaches! Nothing? It's the bonnet, isn't it? I told you it made your nose look big! Come on, buddy, it's just a sore leg.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Lilly, get out of your wheel air.
- Huh? - Get out of your wheelchair.
Show him you're not afraid to stand up.
But I am afraid to stand up.
Do not say that in front of the horse.
And smile, you're gonna scare blue jeans.
Why don't I just do a little dance? - That'd be awesome! - No, it would be sarcasm.
Come on, how long are you gonna keep milkin' that broken leg bit? Oh, I don't know, I was thinking just up to the time my leg isn't broken anymore! Dad, call the vet! ooh, ah, ooh, ah So when's the vet gonna be here? She'll be here as soon as she can.
I don't get it.
She said blue jeans was gonna be fine.
Lilly, it's not the snake bite.
It's just It's not good for a horse to lie down for too long.
Blue jeans should've stood up by now.
But he's hasn't.
Sometimes when an old horse won't get up, It means they've decided it's their time.
Remember back when you was a little girl, We went down to the corral to pick out your very first horse? Yeah, I was four.
You put me on your shoulders so I could see better.
There were some beauties out there that day, But you kept pointing to the little scrawny white one in the corner.
I wanted you to get the big chestnut mare, But before I knew it, he was - Tugging on my blue jeans.
- Yeah.
And peein' on my boots.
That's when I knew he was the one for me.
I'm not ready to let go, dad.
I'm hoping you don't have to.
But right now, all we can do is pray.
there's a gold frame that sits by the window and my heart breaks a little more each time I try to picture the memory inside there's a notebook it's too hard to read it but if you look you'd see how you look through my eyes but now one more chapter's gone by and I know it's time to move on even though I'm not ready I've got to be strong and trust where you're heading and even though it's not easy it's not easy I know the right kind of love doesn't wanna miss the future by staying in the past it will always hold on but never hold you back and even though it's not easy it's not easy right now the right kind of love is a love that lets go it's time I love you with a love that lets go Mile Mile Is he gone? Why don't you ask him for yourself? Blue jeans! yeah, yeah [miley.]
dedicated to my real-life horse, roam-man.
Happy trails to you, buddy.
So what did you think? - This book? Wow! - Mm-hmm.
I can't even put it into words.
I mean, the author's words, those are words.
But my words, to describe those words? I have no words for that.
- You didn't read the book.
- No.
- I tried, but - There were so many words And every time you turned a page there were more? I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you'd be disappointed in me.
I'm not disappointed.
- You're not? - No.
- Because you are gonna read the book.
- I am? If you wanna keep dating a b-b-b-kini model, you are.
Dad, I'm gonna need coffee and lots of it! Hmm.
Jackson overcame his fear in telling siena the truth.
I got over my fear in riding a horse.
And blue jeans conquered his fear and stood up.
Well, who do we know who still hasn't faced their fear? - Who? - [groans.]
I did it! I did it! I did it when I was four.
(mocking) I did it when I was four.
[mocking.]
Show off.