The Morning Show (2019) s04e08 Episode Script

The Parent Trap

1
["NEMESIS" PLAYING]
[MUSIC ENDS]
[JOE BIDEN] There are state laws
banning the freedom to choose,
criminalizing doctors, forcing survivors
of rape and incest
to leave their states to
get the treatment they need.
- Many of you in this chamber
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
and my predecessors
What happened?
I told Claire not to go on TMS.
You gave up your source to the feds.
I tried to warn her. I told her
UBN is in free fall. Stella is gone.
O24 was a disaster.
And now, thanks to you,
TMS has been raided.
I did not have a choice.
I've been walking this tightrope
with the feds for two years now.
Really? So you didn't
think you should tell me
that you were working with
the FBI when you came back?
[SIGHS]
What else are you hiding?
Are you wearing a wire right now?
Come on, Alex.
I think you and I actually both know,
deep down, that this
was a terrible idea.
So if-if you actually came here to
to submit your resignation, I accept.
That's not why you're here.
Chip and I found a whistleblower.
She worked at Martel Chemical.
She's been scared to
come forward until now.
Well, I don't blame her.
Sources are not very safe in your hands.
You told me you would give me time
to find a smoking gun. This woman is it.
She can put together all the pieces
of this investigation. I just
I have to get to her
before she changes her mind.
I am this close to landing
a presidential sit-down,
I cannot have anything
or anyone fuck this up.
Our source is in Belarus.
She's hiding out with her family,
and she's agreed to talk to me,
but I have to meet in person.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Did you just say Belarus?
And if I'm gonna go, I [SIGHS]
I have to go under the
auspices of the network.
I need your authority to sign off on it.
You're the only one that
knows about the investigation.
I made a list of things I
need. I need a signature.
Belarus? Are you kidding?
No. Absolutely not.
You do not get my signature or
my permission or my auspices.
If it were up to me, you
wouldn't have a fucking job.
I know there is a cost to all of this.
Wait, wait. Did you
just call Claire a cost?
You can't make me feel
worse than I already feel.
If I can break this story,
if I can help those
people, then I can prove
- Prove what?
- That I'm on the right side of something.
A story is not gonna save you, Bradley.
This is over.
[SCOFFS]
People died. And the network,
the one that you're the face of,
just looked the other way.
They-They actually
actively buried a story
and they could have done the opposite.
How do you sleep at night?
Me? How do you sleep at night?
I don't.
[CELINE'S SIBLING, IN
FRENCH] Dad is pissed.
It's in all the French tabloids.
We never trusted him.
He's a bum.
You have four children, two with whores.
Exactly but
- I didn't marry them.
- Wow.
Bravo, what a hero.
[SIBLING] Your husband fucked around.
Dump him.
I don't take orders from you.
[SIBLING, IN FRENCH] Dad said
- Always his little henchman.
- [SCOFFS]
Time to come home.
Afraid I'll outshine you?
[CHUCKLES, INHALES DEEPLY]
Always the greedy one.
You were sent here for one reason only.
To cover up a scandal
at a chemical company.
- And I did that.
- But you kept going.
- And now you've become the story.
- [CHUCKLES]
You're not thinking of the family.
They're appointing a new CEO.
I'll have total control
of a media company.
CEO and President of the Board.
We will have total
control of the narrative.
They say perception is half the battle,
in fact it's the whole war.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Like promising a
heartwarming Olympic story
- to our partners in Tehran?
- [SIGHS]
I didn't know that girl would defect.
We're deeply leveraged in these games.
I took care of that too.
There are the vendors.
The stadiums. Our partners.
And the Seine.
[LAUGHS] The Seine, your pet project.
Financing the great cleanup.
Apparently it's still
littered with shit.
Just worry about
cleaning up your own mess.
Lose the husband and come home.
His name is Miles.
[PHONE BUZZING]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hello?
- [OFFICER] Alex Levy?
- Yes?
We have your father here at a
campus security holding cell.
What? What are you talking about?
- Public intoxication.
- Oh, shit.
[MARTIN] Alexandra, it's me!
- [SIGHS] Oh, my God. Um
- [MARTIN] I need you, Alexandra!
Can't you just put him
in an Uber or something?
[OFFICER] He needs to be picked up.
There was an incident that we'd
prefer not to press charges on.
- What did he do?
- Public urination is considered
a lewd act under New York
Penal Law section 245
Okay, okay. I'll-I'll
be right there. Shit.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[MARTIN] No, look, I'm completely fine.
All right. Come on.
This way. Here we go.
- Let's go this way please, Dad.
- [STAMMERS] Don't fuss.
I'm not some crumbling fossil.
All right. Dad, I have
to be up in three hours.
I have a really huge day tomorrow.
- Listen, I, uh If I'm gonna
- Please.
[SLURRING] I want to sleep in
my own bed, so I'll call a car.
Dad, you're here. It's late. Okay?
Let's just sleep this off.
Let's go. Okay? Come on.
All right, but look,
listen, I'm gonna need
- a toothbrush for this little sleepover.
- Yep. You got it.
- Um, and some water.
- Dad.
Yes. Yes, yes. And an Aleve.
I got it coming all for you.
- Right here? This way. Oh, right.
- This way. Come on. Please.
[POLLY INHALES SHARPLY]
This one is stunning.
Yeah, absolutely.
But come on.
This one.
It's adventurous but with a
a deep inner life.
She's worried about this area.
- Can't we see some other options?
- No, I hear you. I hear you.
But, um
this is the wig, right?
- You're right.
- And the right wig
is gonna get her the little gold man.
I'll take it over there.
I'll show her myself.
And she'll see. Thanks, guys.
Or she won't. [CLEARS THROAT]
[PHONE RINGS]
Ma, hey, I was just gonna call you.
Um, which Meryl wig do you prefer?
Silkwood, Prada, or Sophie's Choice?
Which, incidentally, this is
starting to feel like right now.
I'm on the lot, I gotta lock it in.
Are you back in Los Angeles?
I'm in, uh, New York
on the, uh, lot today.
But, uh, we've got some
exteriors later this week.
Cory I-I have to talk to you.
Younger Meryl would be
better, but any Meryl really.
I'm not waiting for Switzerland.
I'm gonna take things in my own hands.
Mom, I'm sorry I didn't
call you back last night.
I had a major hair department
crisis that I had to de-escalate,
but I will swing by later
today and it's gonna be fine.
I put the eggs in the medicine cabinet
and my dirty towels in the fridge.
I'm losing it.
My brain was my one constant and now
Okay, stop.
I know that this is
stressful. It's scary
Yesterday I almost hit
the neighbor's child,
backing out of the driveway.
I was within inches.
I can't live like this.
I need to do this before I can't.
Before I have an around-the-clock
nurse who has to change my diaper.
Mom, we talked about this.
Cory, I've gotten the pills.
I've organized everything so
you won't have to do a thing.
I'm going to end my life today.
I love you.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Don't do
anything until I get there.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [MUSIC ENDS]
- [PHONE BUZZES]
Jesus.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS]
Fuck.
Dad!
[MUSIC ENDS]
Dad? Are you fucking kidding me?
Goddamn it.
And get, uh, TMS to pull my
interviews of Obama and RBG.
There should be a link ready. And, uh
Oh, don't oh, don't forget to
get their coffee orders organized.
Um, don't go to the bitter place.
Uh, go to the place
that has that little
They put foam and little faces
- Are you okay?
- [SIGHS] Why?
No, you just you
seem a little stressed.
Yeah. Well, I [STAMMERS]
I had an incident with my father
last night and now he's missing.
Oh, the pee thing?
[GULPS] Did you see that video?
No.
A little.
Yes. I'm gonna get your coffees.
- Thank you. [SIGHS]
- [REMY] Okay.
You could co-chair the campaign.
I can't be so front-facing.
But we'll find the perfect person.
Why New Jersey?
I have a place on the shore.
The Democrat's going down
in the corruption scandal
- which opens a path for an independent.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Oh.
- Alex.
Uh, sorry, didn't realize you were
- I'll I'll come back.
- [CELINE] We're done.
- Good morning, Bro.
- Ms. Levy, always a pleasure.
It is a pleasure.
How are you holding up?
Um [CHUCKLES]
It's all so public.
I'm sorry.
He went upstate.
For a little while.
And we keep missing each other.
[CHUCKLES]
Uh, so, I think I have
some good news for you.
I'm meeting with the press
team from the White House.
Biden hasn't done a
long-form in months.
We could have a lot of eyeballs on it.
- Excellent.
- We need a win.
[CHUCKLING] We're the last two standing.
Like at the end of a disaster movie.
Exactly.
Try not to let the
other stuff get you down.
Thank you.
Oh.
Good luck with your father.
- You saw that?
- Hard to miss.
Parents are tricky.
Yeah.
[SIGHS] This isn't gonna be a good look.
- Uh, hi.
- Hi.
Um.
Yeah, so, I found your dad.
- Oh, God. Where?
- Alexandra.
What are you doing here?
Well, I can't cower in a cupboard while
my reputation's being
trampled underfoot.
- Remy, please give us a second.
- Yes.
[MARTIN] These ridiculous
accusations of literary theft
are a malicious lie, a takedown.
And now another insignificant incident
blown entirely out of proportion.
"Lewd acts" does not sound great.
- Hyperbole.
- You peed on Paul Revere.
It was Nathan Hale.
Dad, please, can we
talk about this later?
I have a very, very big day today.
Put me on your show. Give me
the chance to vindicate myself.
To tell my side of the story.
To explain that the free
exchange of ideas is essential
to any substantive intellectual debate.
And in no way approaches
the threshold of plagiarism.
Dad, I can't I can't do that.
They're trying to remove me from
the very department I created.
The least you can do,
Alexandra, is to help.
Okay, you want my advice?
Here's my advice to you.
I would go away. I would disappear.
Wait till everybody moves on.
Move on where?
Academia is in free fall.
University presidents are being
hauled before Senate sub-committees.
Students sleeping in tents in the quad.
While rigorous debate,
actual critical thinking,
has gone the way of the dodo.
I could've helped fix all this nonsense.
I still can, just give me
a chance to make my case.
Mmm, I can't. I cannot
put you on my show.
Charlie Rose was
always happy to have me.
In the '90s.
And I don't think Charlie Rose is a very
compelling character witness these days.
You have exacerbated this
situation because of your profile,
therefore it is incumbent
on you to help fix it.
I am securing an interview with
the president of the United States.
I cannot do this right now.
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth
it is to have a thankless child."
Dad, I'm sorry.
[SIGHS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[PANTS]
[CORY] Mom!
Mom!
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Oh.
One traffic ticket later, here I am.
The Hitler Youth cop said
I did a California roll,
which, you know, of course I'm gonna
Forget it. I'm here.
So, Leon Erwin, my personal attorney,
will have all the
paperwork ready for you.
Oh, wow. Leon the lawyer.
Oh, that's a sitcom.
I've made it as simple as I could.
You just have to sign.
I left a list of all the
people you need to call
with their numbers on the kitchen table.
Simple. Your death. Paperwork. Got it.
Um [SMACKS LIPS] What do
you wanna order for lunch?
All I ask is that you're gone when
the coroner arrives tonight at 9:00.
This is still illegal.
And the last thing I
would want is for you
to get implicated in a crime.
Okay, sure, well, this sounds great.
Uh, you're gonna
illegally kill yourself.
Mom, can we actually
talk about this now?
- What do you mean?
- You're not gonna do this.
You know this.
I know this. You're upset. I get it.
But let's just talk about it, okay?
We'll figure it out together.
[CHUCKLES] This isn't the
kind of thing you just do.
And damn you for dumping
this shit on me today.
You tell me that this is just a ploy
to get your only and favorite son
back into the house
and I will forgive you.
Tell me that you're sad.
Tell me that you need something.
I'm glad you came.
Hey. You wanna meet a
movie star in Rhinebeck?
- We'll make a road trip out of it.
- [CHUCKLES]
Or we can head down the Hudson. Yes.
We'll hit Manhattan, see a show.
Let's find a play with
the worst possible reviews.
I have made my decision,
while I can still make one.
Now, you can be here, or you
can get the paperwork later, I
[STAMMERS]
Either way,
this is what's going to happen.
Today.
Used to be you'd try out new material
- on campuses.
- Mm-hmm.
Now they all got cell phones and
boom, one anti-woke joke, you're done.
- [CO-HOST] Yeah.
- You're canceled. It's killing comedy.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
Oh, my God. You still do the
comic circuit though, don't you?
I do, yeah. No, I mean, you have
you have to accept that what's
funny is gonna change, you know.
You just evolve with the times.
These kids, they don't know the
difference between a joke and reality.
[CO-HOST] Mmm, yeah, but
okay, well, do you remember
that Bill Cosby had that whole set
about drugging and assaulting women?
- Turns out it wasn't such a joke.
- I do wanna talk about some Cosby.
- [CO-HOST LAUGHS] I don't know if I do.
- But first, we gotta pay the bills.
- You gonna let me plug my tour dates?
- You sure will, right after the break.
Uh, and stay tuned for
the shitstorm in the Seine.
- You hear about this?
- No.
They spent all this
money on cleaning the caca
out of the river in
Paris for the Olympics.
Mmm, well, I love a good poop story.
We'll be right back with the scat.
Hey.
Can I, uh, help you?
You know, it so happens that I'm
a constitutional scholar of some renown,
specializing in the First Amendment.
I could contribute to your discussion.
We don't do unsolicited
guests. No drive-bys.
No, these same students you
speak of are trying to destroy me
for a crime I did not commit.
And now, to further ridicule and-and
shame me, they've publicized a
a little video of me relieving myself
in close proximity to a national hero.
You're Alex Levy's father?
[STAMMERS] Yes, I am.
Hey, we're back in 60.
Yeah.
Why don't you come have a seat?
The focus will be on the state
of women's rights post-2020.
Reproductive health care,
bodily autonomy, pay equity.
Uh, my, uh
my interview with Kamala on gun
violence scored huge numbers.
Especially in the the core demo.
And you just talk to me about timing
and we will roll this out around
any important speeches or events.
- That sounds good.
- Mm-hmm.
These days young people don't seem
to realize the privileges they have.
They take them for granted.
They don't recognize that
they stand on the shoulders
of the generations that came before.
Maybe instead of canceling
us, they should thank us.
Hallelujah. I love a
man who's not afraid
- to speak his mind
- Mm-hmm.
irregardless of the consequences.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
"Irregardless" is not a real word.
- The prefix "ir-" denotes a negation
- [CHUCKLES]
so in this, and, well,
frankly in any other context,
- "regardless" will suffice.
- Schooled.
And it won't all be
softballs, but it will be fair.
No Hunter, no Trump trial.
Abortion and the Supreme Court,
obviously, are all on the table.
And I would like 30 minutes.
- Ten.
- Twenty.
- Twelve.
- Fifteen.
- Twelve.
- Twelve and a walk-and-talk.
We can do that.
That's great.
- We'll get back to you with some dates.
- Yes.
Uh, why don't you keep open
the first two weeks of July?
We will make it all work.
Absolutely.
This is fantastic, Riley.
Thanks so much for coming in.
- Thank you.
- So great. [MOUTHS] Yes!
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
What?
What the fuck?
[BRO] How does one
get canceled nowadays?
- Is it email?
- Oh, you ask me.
I mean, this is a new thing,
but, uh, I tell you, it was
Stop. Cut it.
- [PRODUCER] Okay, we're off.
- What is going on in here?
You finally made it to the show.
You forgot to tell me
your dad is brilliant.
[STAMMERS] I thought
you were going home?
You've just interrupted a
very interesting conversation.
I'm sure. It's But, uh,
let's go. It's time to leave.
[GROANS] Ah, well, Mr.
Hartman, it's been a pleasure.
You're welcome back anytime, sir.
I would love to get your take
on the right to bear arms.
- Ah, the Second Amendment
- God, no, no, no, no, pl
Mmm, one simple sentence,
three confounding commas.
We could do a whole series.
- [CHUCKLES] We could.
- No, none of this is happening.
None of this is happening. Let's go.
And you should have asked me before
you put my father on your show.
Oh, I didn't know I
needed a permission slip.
Just, you know, common
decency, a little respect.
Decency and respect?
Yeah, that's rich coming from you.
Dad, let's go, please.
You know, let me work this out.
When a guy ghosts
after sex, he's a dick.
But when women do it, it's, like, what?
Feminism or something?
Listen, whatever occurred between
us, let's just keep it between us.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about us.
- Dad, let's just get out of here.
- She has a terrible time with men.
- [ALEX] Oh, my God.
- Mmm.
[ALEX] What the
- [MARTIN] Why don't we settle down, and
- Thanks, Professor.
You do not understand what that man is.
- That was extremely interesting.
- He is one of the worst human beings
- on the planet.
- It's intelligent
I think I did very well actually.
[PHONE BUZZES]
Oh.
Okay. It's the White
House, Dad, so please.
- Riley.
- [RILEY] Hi, Alex.
Oh, my gosh. It was so
lovely to see you today.
You know, I was actually thinking,
I know we discussed the Blue Room,
but I'm wondering if maybe
the Roosevelt might be better.
It's not gonna happen
after all. I'm sorry.
What do you mean it's not gonna happen?
It's timing.
Timing?
I-I can be to D.C. within
with two hours' notice.
It's not you. It's your father.
I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
It's your father. The thing
in the Post this morning,
his rant on that podcast.
It doesn't help the ageist narrative
we're fighting against with our guy.
- Sorry, Alex.
- I understand. Thank you.
- Well, now that you'll have time
- Don't. Please.
Charlie, will you please take him home?
84th and Central Park West.
Thank you so much.
Weeks.
Weeks of a carefully
orchestrated negotiation
and in one day you just blew it up.
- Jesus.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
Don't you ever slam a
door in my face again.
Ever. I'm your father.
Don't you ever just barge into
my apartment like that again.
Jesus.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to get some air.
Weeks of negotiation?
Try 50 years of service
in academia and for what?
You've cost me my legacy.
I did not ask you to
plagiarize anything.
I did not plagiarize.
Would you please get that
- into your thick skull?
- Oh, come on. You didn't listen.
I told you to go home, and you didn't.
And you fucked me and
you fucked my interview.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, still
blaming everybody else
- for your own failures, are you?
- Oh. Oh, pl Excuse me.
I do not do that.
That is not true.
And the only person that I actually
feel like a failure around is you.
Ever since I was a little kid.
God, isn't the statute of limitations
up on your poor old childhood?
Do you remember what you would
do to me at dinner every night?
You would quiz me on-on current
events and obscure literature.
I was training your brain to think.
And no matter what I said
trust me, I scoured the news,
I scoured every book in your library,
and no matter what,
you just dismissed me.
I was testing you.
I never dismissed you.
You just did it. You
just did it right there.
You just dismissed the
idea of you dismissing me.
Good thing you never went into the law
- because your arguments are not
- [GROANS] Yes.
Got it. Not smart.
I know, I'm not smart enough.
I'm not academic enough.
I'm just not enough.
It's true that in those days you
were not exceptionally incisive.
All you wanted to do was impress
your sycophantic coeds
that you would bring over.
Here's the brilliant professor
saddled with this simple daughter.
But do you know what? I
actually wasn't simple
[VOICE BREAKS] I was a ten-year-old.
And I still cleaned
out your dirty ashtrays,
cleared the table, did the dishes.
Just you and me.
And yet every time you
were around, I felt
I felt more alone than I ever
felt when I actually was alone.
I do not blame Mom for
leaving you for one minute.
Don't you talk about your mother.
I know, we don't talk about
Mom. I get it. I remember.
But I don't understand.
She was my mother and
you just erased her.
You just took her pictures down.
You threw her clothes
away and you pushed her.
And you pushed her
and every memory of
her out of the house.
And I don't know why.
I never pushed her. [STAMMERS]
[SIGHS] You don't know what
You were too young. You don't
understand. You don't know anything.
I do know this.
You didn't parent me.
I raised myself.
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
I gave up all manner of things for you.
What great sacrifices? Tell me.
I would love to know what
great sacrifices you made.
I'm dying to hear this.
My wife. [BREATHES SHAKILY]
I [EXHALES SHARPLY]
lost my wife.
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
You want to talk about your mother?
Okay. Fine.
What do you wanna know about her?
She was a true original. [CHUCKLES]
She knew the lyrics to every
song, she did the crossword in ink.
[INHALES SHARPLY] She loved to dance.
And she made the best
martini We had a great life.
I didn't want anything to change it.
But [STAMMERS] she'd always
always gone on about having
a child and [SIGHS]
The only thing she'd
ever asked for was
- Was me.
- No. I
I wanted her to be happy.
And she was. She was
so happy being pregnant.
And then she gave birth, and
[PUFFS] after the hospital,
she wouldn't even hold you.
It was like she fell down a w-well.
Dad, that's postpartum.
It doesn't matter what it was called.
What difference does it make?
It makes all the
difference in the world.
My entire life I thought Mom
left because of you.
Because you're so impossible.
I didn't know she was struggling.
Why wouldn't you tell me this?
Well, there you are.
Now you know.
I mean, I'd come home in the evening and
she'd be staring at the ceiling.
And you'd be screaming in a
filthy nappy for [STAMMERS]
God knows how long.
Oh, well, I I tried
to get her better,
to take care of you both, but
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
Then one day she just up and left.
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
Leaving me with this messy child
I didn't want in the first place.
Oh, my God.
A child who looked
like her spitting image.
Okay, Dad, stop.
Just stop for a second, please.
[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING]
[SNIFFLES]
You blame me for Mom leaving.
You've resented my entire
existence from the day I was born.
[BREATHES SHAKILY] So
it didn't really matter.
All of those things that I
tried to do to get you to see me.
My grades.
My recitals. And my
career.
None of it really mattered.
Dad, do you know how
badly I
I wanted to be somebody that
you could love? [SNIFFLES]
And I know you talk about your
legacy, Dad, but you [GRUNTS]
I didn't cost you your legacy.
'Cause it's me. [SNIFFLES]
I'm your legacy.
[SOBBING]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC FADES]
[BRO] I was a septic skeptic.
We can't desalinate the ocean,
how are we going to clean the literal
shit out of the
dirtiest river in Europe?
[CO-HOST] It's a good question.
- But I've talked to some scientists.
- [IN FRENCH] Wait. Look.
Really? Are they real ones,
or just women on
OnlyFans who wear glasses?
Apparently, the new
technology that they pioneered
- in the Paris cleanup was revolutionary.
- [FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM PLAYS]
Oh, I love a good French revolution.
Mmm, and it's cleaner
than Poland Springs now.
[CO-HOST] Really? Is that so?
Liberté, égalité and
most definitely fraternité.
You're not gonna drink
that. He's drinking it. Okay!
- [IN FRENCH] That's not safe.
- Relax, it's Fiji.
[MUSIC ENDS]
Just for dramatic effect.
That's the guy who
sells food supplements?
You're such a snob.
Behold the next Senator
from New Jersey
- [CHUCKLES]
- home of Tony Soprano
birthplace of the electric lightbulb.
This guy? You're kidding?
I'm supporting his campaign.
He has over a hundred million followers.
By tomorrow, this little story
will be all over the world.
And you you're out of your shit.
Don't thank me.
Well done.
I know.
to do something for me.
[CHUCKLES] Well, that's funny. [SNORTS]
I didn't realize we
were, uh, asking favors.
If that's the case, I'd kindly ask you
not to kill yourself. How's that?
I'm asking you to listen.
Hey. Let me tell you this.
If this is one of those
fucking last rites situations,
you can count me out.
I'm not interested.
So, I'm not gonna cosign
on to this death sequence.
Do you understand? That answer is no.
It's no, no, no.
- And no.
- Cory
We didn't even go to Antarctica.
- What?
- Yeah, you promised me.
After we saw March of the Penguins.
'Cause you said
you wanted to go to Antarctica before
you died and I said yes. [CHUCKLES]
Even though that was the
last thing I wanted to do.
Go freeze my ass off to
watch a bunch of birds
who can't even fucking fly
squawking on shit-covered ice.
I told you that I would go on
the only cruise I'd ever go on
because I wanted to be with you.
- Oh.
- I did.
[CHUCKLING] I don't
know why. It's stupid.
- [SNIFFLES] But you promised me.
- Mmm.
You made a promise, Mom. Yep. And
I was really looking forward to it.
I could book the tickets right now.
- We could go. We could still go.
- No. Listen, Cory.
You have to listen to me.
- Everything I did, I did for you.
- [HUFFS]
- From the moment I first held you.
- [SIGHS]
That surge of love went
straight to my bones.
[GRUNTS]
You looked at me with
those dark, pensive eyes.
- [SIGHS]
- Nothing else mattered.
I had to protect you.
From anyone and anything.
- Mom, I don't wanna hear
- No matter what.
- my fucking birth story anymore.
- Cory! You have to listen to me.
You were
You are the greatest
thing I've ever done.
All I ever wanted was
for you to succeed,
be happy. [SIGHS]
I
- I have to tell you something.
- [SIGHS]
I need to.
- I
- You need to what?
You need to what?
You need to what?
[CHUCKLES]
[CLICKS TONGUE] I need to
see the wig.
Okay.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[TAPPING]
[MUSIC ENDS]
You're gonna love this movie.
She's a private
investigator with a past.
- [CHUCKLING]
- She's beautiful. She doesn't know it.
Just kidding. She knows
it. Of course she knows it.
- She absolutely knows it. Look at her.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
She's a former district attorney.
Who are, oftentimes, political
shills without a moral center.
That's right.
She is a former fascist
district attorney
who blew the case of a lifetime.
You know, it was one of those cases
where the criminal dodges prison
on some kind of technicality.
Oh, we call that a
constitutional violation, honey.
A constitutional violation.
So here she is. And she
has been haunted by it.
It's followed her around.
So now she's burnt out.
She's a burnt out former district
attorney turned private investigator.
And then she gets this sexy new client
who's accused of murdering his wife.
Ooh.
And, uh, at first she doesn't trust
him because, uh, well, he has a
- Beard.
- A beard. Obviously.
And so that leads to a fight.
He says some terrible things.
She leaves in a huff, and she thinks
[IMITATING CHARACTER] "Fuck
this. I'm not gonna do this case."
[NORMALLY] And then she stops.
She turns around and she says
My favorite line in the entire movie.
And I made the writer
put it in because, uh
[CHUCKLING] of course he
doesn't know how women actually talk.
She turns around and she says
Mom!
Mom?
[SNIFFLES]
[BREATHES SHAKILY, SIGHS]
[SOMBER PIANO BALLAD PLAYING]
[BREATHES SHAKILY, SOBBING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[WATCH BEEPING]
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
[BEEPING FADES]
[LINE RINGING]
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Your call
has been forwarded to voicemail.
The person you're trying
to reach is unavailable.
- At the tone, please record your message.
- [LINE BEEPS]
Hey. It's me.
- What are you doing right now?
- [MUSIC ENDS]
Huh? Let's go skiing!
["SATISFACTION" PLAYING]
[CELINE] Cory.
Wow. You look like shit.
[CORY] Long story.
[INHALES]
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC ENDS]
- [PANTING]
- Oh, yeah.
- [PANTING]
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- ["THE PASSENGER" PLAYING]
- I got this one from Columbia House.
But you don't have that in France?
- Do you guys have Columbia House?
- [CHUCKLES]
Maison de Colombie?
- No?
- [CHUCKLES] No, no.
In the '80s and '90s we had an
institution called Columbia House.
Which was It was
a mail-order CD club
that was catering mostly to
teenagers who had no fucking money.
- [CHUCKLING]
- They would say, "Sign up,
and we'll send you free CDs."
All of their free CDs,
they were shitty CDs.
That was the con.
We just kept ordering.
Yeah. Not buying. The American Dream.
We would just sift through
all the shit until finally
we would land some good music
like Iggy or Led Zeppelin or
oh
on the very rare
occasion, a Smiths album.
Just on the off chance that a
girl might cross the threshold
the virginal, virginal threshold
of my childhood bedroom.
The rest of our lives
would never compare
to the halcyon days when we
got all the music we ever wanted
- in the mail for pennies.
- Ooh.
[SIGHS] Long live the
days of Columbia House.
When I thought my
parents were embarrassing,
they knew everything and
they'd always be around.
- [SONG FADES]
- [SWEEPING, SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]
Yeah, constant, like
the northern star.
Constantly in the darkness.
Where's that at?
If you want me, I'll be at the bar.
- [SIGHS]
- [CHUCKLES]
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
This feels really
good. You should try it.
[GROANING, BREATHING HEAVILY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [SIGHS]
- [LINE RINGING]
[BRADLEY] Hi, you've
reached Bradley Jackson.
Leave a message and
I'll get back to you.
[LINE BEEPS]
[SIGHS]
- [KNOCKS ON DOOR]
- [ALEX] Bradley?
You were right.
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
[SIGHS]
Of course I will support your travel.
I will. Just, honey, open the door.
- Come on.
- [MUSIC ENDS]
[CHIP] Hey. [SIGHS]
What are you doing here?
Where's Bradley?
She went to Belarus.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Of course she did.
- [SIGHS]
- Alex, um,
she was supposed to check in with
me every three hours, it's been six.
I called my contact at the IMF,
- they think she's being detained.
- What?
And we know what they do
to journalists over there.
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
["BLEED (SULPHER MIX)" PLAYING]
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