Happy Days (1974) s04e09 Episode Script
The Muckrakers
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
Dream ♪
Dream, dream, dream ♪
Dream ♪
.
When I want you in my arms ♪
When I want you ♪
Ralph, here this is your hamburger eat.
Oh, no, thanks, Al, I can't.
My tummy hurts, too.
Your tummy?
Gut Fonz, gut.
You know, like the regular guys say: "Gut."
Wait a minute, is it my food?
It can't be.
This is my mother's own recipe.
She gave it to me for my 21st birthday.
AL: I can still remember it.
I wanted a car.
Just take it easy, Al.
It's not your food.
It's the school's food.
Yeah. Good!
AL: I mean, terrible.
You know, something must be going around,
because so many kids are sick.
Lookit, the place is half empty.
I'm afraid this Turkey Hop is going to be a flop.
But I don't care.
I can handle it, no problem.
(weakly): I can.
(quiet whimper)
I really don't feel good.
Hey guys, guess what happened
Hey, you started sucking your thumb again.
Good one, Fonz, good one.
Not so good.
I loosened my cap biting in to my meat loaf at school.
Must have been well done.
Hey, good one Malph, good one.
I still got it.
I'm a man in pain, but I still got it.
Yeah, there was a bone in my meat loaf.
Look, I saved it. Oh, yeah?
What are you going to do with it,
put it under your pillow and wait
to get a dollar from the bone fairy?
Well, this could be serious.
Upset stomachs, bones in the food.
You know, ever since the school got that new cook,
the food has been terrible.
Oh, what are you talking about?
I mean, all school food is how do you say it?
Crud.
Yeah, but this isn't even your everyday crud.
Yeah? Well, then stop whining
about it and do something, huh?
FONZIE: There, Mr. Pad and Pencil?
Yeah, I could write a story for the school paper.
Are you kidding?
You can't beat the system.
Yeah, you're right.
You'll get expelled.
Yeah, you're right.
Aren't you always talking about being a star reporter?
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, but you can't go to college
if you get thrown out of high school.
Yeah, you're right.
If you don't have "intestine" fortitude
to write the truth, forget it.
Yeah, you're right.
And you're right.
Oh, look at me, I'm wishy-washy.
He's right. He's right. You're right.
I'm a senior, and I'm still not a tough reporter,
but I'm gonna become one.
He's right. This is a very good story.
The wire services might want to pick up on this.
Every kid in America will want to read about this:
Scandal in School Cafeteria.
Extra, extra!
Dateline Milwaukee.
Hey, hey, stop the presses, will you?
Whoa!
Hey, listen, you guys, you, uh,
finish discussing this problem
'cause I got something better to do and you don't.
Mom, this won't work.
Trust me.
Your father will fly into a rage
and he'll say "Over my dead body!"
Then you'll act discouraged
and go up and put on the dress you really want to buy.
That's how I handle your father.
Gee, marriage is fun.
Howard? HOWARD: Yeah?
Joanie wants your opinion on a new outfit, dear.
Okay.
(humming happily)
Wants a man's point of view, huh?
All righty.
Ta-da! ♪
Well?
Over my dead body.
Oh, darn, I don't think he likes it.
Oh, but everybody's wearing short shorts.
If that was any shorter, it would be a belt.
Oh, gee.
Poor dear, I think her little heart is broken.
Well, Marion, I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings,
but years from now, she'll thank me.
Dear, you just had a big dinner,
I wish you wouldn't nibble.
RICHIE: Mom, Dad!
Mom, Dad! Over here.
Oh, good.
I got it.
I got a story right here that's gonna blow
the whole Jefferson cafeteria scandal wide open.
Listen to this:
Headline, "Tables Turned on School Cafeteria."
You get it? Tables turned?
Isn't he clever?
Go ahead, Scoop.
All right
"Byline, Richie Cunningham.
Several students barely escaped death recently"
Barely escaped death?
Yeah, Dad.
Ralph and I had upset stomachs.
It could have been gas.
May I go on, Mom?
Oh let him go on, Howard.
Go on, Richie.
"Informed sources report excessive traces of bone"
"and other foreign matter in the meat loaf"
What informed sources?
Well, it sounds better than saying Potsie found a bone
in the meat loaf.
There are no bones in meat loaf.
Oh, yeah, what does that look like, gravy?
That looks like a bone.
That's why I'm saving it for evidence.
Oh, come on, Richie,
are you really gonna turn this story in?
Sure, I am. Why not? It's the truth.
What truth?
You don't have any facts.
I've got plenty of facts.
You haven't got a stitch of evidence.
I've got piles of evidence.
Name one pile.
All right.
Okay, how about the
Well, then there's the
And then we got
There's Potsie's bone.
Oh. You already know about that.
All right, okay, so I got to find a few facts
to fill in some holes.
I'm not a tough reporter yet,
but I'm gonna become one, Dad, you wait and see.
I'm gonna get you evidence that you won't believe.
Well, I guess you're not gonna like this either, huh, Dad?
Oh, that's very nice.
I like that.
Keeps you all covered up.
That's all right if she buys it?
Right, Howard?
Of course.
Well, now, we'll just return the other one.
Why do they pull this trick on me every year?
(sniffs)
It's not bad.
MAN: Leave me alone, would you, Curly?
I don't want to buy any tickets to the Turkey Hop.
What am I, a child?
All I want to do is get this stuff loaded.
Now what grade meat is this?
U.S. Bad Choice.
Listen, I'm getting a little nervous, Curly.
Those kids around school,
they haven't been looking too good lately.
Will you relax, Louie?
And wait until we start switching
the vegetables on them next week.
I don't want to hear about that, okay?
All I want you to do is take this good meat
and sell it to that fancy restaurant, okay?
Now let's go.
Hey, kid, what are you doing here?
Just sweeping.
Oh are you the new janitor
that, uh, that foreign exchange student?
(with Swedish accent): Ya.
Ya, that's me, I the new foreign exchange student.
I'm Gunnar Lindquist.
I work a little after school, cleaning up,
and making little extra money with my boot seen.
Your what?
My boot seen.
My Swedish for my broom.
Yeah, well, listen, how do you say
"finish up and get lost" in Swedish?
Volvo.
Well, you better do it quick, kid.
Hey, you know, I always thought Volvo was a car.
So did I, Louie.
(with gruff voice): All right, put up your hands.
But I'm the jan
Oh, Fonz, what are you doing here?
Malph told me what you were up to,
and I wanted to see
how an investigative reporter worked, huh?
Hey, can you see through these?
Oh, Fonz
Fonz, I am really on to something.
I've been watching these guys all day long.
Yeah? Let me take a picture of you in this outfit.
You look great. No, Fonz, this is not a very good time
Stand there, smile hold your broom here we go.
The cook is coming back and
Hey, hey, hey, smile, then talk all right.
Do me a favor, get up against the counter here.
Get up against the counter.
All right, hold it, hold it.
Oh that's great, that's great.
All right, now talk This is bigger than I thought, Fonz.
They're selling the good meat,
and they're giving the bad meat to the kids.
I got to take some pictures of this stuff.
Hey, listen, Fonz, could you take the pictures?
'Cause, 'cause, see, I want to look
in the books for a minute, okay?
I'll explain later.
Oh, this is really big time Aw
These guys are really crooked, I
Fonz, you're not taking any pictures.
I can't take any pictures.
Yeah, well, I know it's bad meat, Fonz,
but see, that's why we want to take pictures of it.
It's not the meat, it's that in the pan.
Oh, well, this is good, Fonz.
There's nothing wrong with this.
It's just liver.
(gasping in horror)
Get that away from me!
Everybody has got weaknesses.
Superman had kryptonite.
Fonz, are you afraid of liver?
I am not afraid! No!
I'm not afraid. Just get it away from me!
You just don't like it 'cause it's all wet-looking
and drippy, and brown.
Hey, listen, how would you like
to be wet and drippy and brown?
I wouldn't like that. I'll take the pictures, Fonz.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, I don't like that, I don't eat that,
and I don't go around with guys that hang out with that.
Ugh! Yuck!
Hey, hey, kid, what are you doing with the camera?
(with Swedish accent): I just taking
some pictures for my cousin, Ole.
Smile.
(normal voice): Great, I'll see you later.
Hey, that kid was watching us.
He's gonna turn us in! We could go to prison!
I hope not.
I heard the food stinks.
Sure, sure, I'll give you an autograph, here you go.
Scoop Cunningham.
Hey, you know, I'm his buddy, I helped him write it.
Come on, guys, we should be rehearsing.
The Turkey Hop's tomorrow night.
Don't worry Pots, this is better.
POTSIE: You're right.
Here, I'll sign anything.
Oh, a note for me? Thank you.
Oh, I can't do that.
I can.
My folks are out of town.
All right, girls, let's split.
Wait Wait a minute, who wrote the note?
Wait a minute, girls, who wrote the note? Tell me!
Cunningham, uh I want to thank you.
I heard that you mentioned me in your article.
Of course I did, Fonz.
I never would've written the article if it wasn't for you.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, Fonz, not only were you right about the administration
not being mad at me, but I'm now a star reporter.
Hey, what did I tell you, Scoop?
You print the truth, you're in like Flynn, huh?
Yeah, you're right. I'm printing a follow-up story, too.
It's the story behind the story.
I'm calling it "The Story Behind the Story."
That's very clever.
Want a preview, Fonz?
Yeah, sure let me see that.
Yeah.
Hey, that's great.
You put in the part about your, uh, your disguise.
Yeah. That was funny.
And about me taking the pictures.
That's good, that's good.
Oh, oh excuse me for a minute, okay?
Sure.
No, now wait a minute, Fonz. What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just crossing out this part
about me and the liver.
No, no, Fonz, you can't cross out that part.
You see, that's part of the story.
That's why I didn't get pictures of the meat.
Hey, listen, Richie,
the rest of this article is terrific.
I just don't want that part about me
and the liver, you know.
Yeah, but it's the truth,
and you said to always print the truth.
Not this truth.
That's censorship.
Hey, it's got nothing to do with censorship.
This ain't going in the article, that's all.
Fonz, this is very interesting, you know.
It's like the Lone Ranger.
Everybody's always trying to pull off his mask.
I wouldn't do that.
But don't you see that this is
why this is such a great story?
Because I'm pulling off the mask.
But it's my mask!
Fonz, it's no big deal.
So what if you're scared of liver.
Will you keep that down?
Fonz, it's a humorous sidelight, that's all.
It doesn't hurt anybody, and it's true.
So I'm printing it.
After everything I've done for you?
I give you advice about chicks,
I protect you from bullies
But you're also the one who told me about truth
and intestinal fortitude.
Cunningham, let me just put it this way:
If you don't rewrite the story,
I'm going to rewrite your face.
Well, I know your reputation, Fonz,
but you are now dealing with a tough reporter.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. And just remember,
the pen is mightier than the sword.
Ah.
Sometimes.
Well, all right, Fonz,
you just do what you have to do,
but I'm printing every word of this story.
All right.
All right, I'm not going to work you over.
Just listen to me
'cause I'm only going to say this one time.
We are no longer friends.
Oh, now wait a minute, Fonz.
Oh, there's one more thing, Cunningham, one more thing.
Former friends don't talk.
You gotta be kidding.
After everything we've been through together?
I don't believe this.
I believe it.
(to theme song melody): La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
Oh, I tell you, Marion,
looking at these old slides is just terrific.
Hey, when was the last time I weighed 150 pounds?
Are you feeding a bear?
Uh-huh.
Yellowstone Park, 1945.
Hello.
JOANIE: Hi, Fonz.
Oh, Arthur.
Hey, Mrs. C, how's everything?
Nice to see you.
Arthur, can you fix my sewing machine?
You're so good at that kind of thing.
Hey, sure I can.
You've got nice legs there, Shortcake.
Mr. C., you shouldn't be looking at that
with ladies in the room.
What's that?
You got a bear, a chubby kid and a skinny guy.
You know these people?
That's us!
Aw, what a cute family.
Would you mind fixing the machine, please?
Yeah, sure.
Mom, could you put some cuffs on these
and keep them the same length?
Hey, uh, I'm really sorry, Mrs. C.
This is the other model, it's way beyond repair.
You've got to send this out.
Oh, Arthur, now you always fix it.
You just do like this.
Mrs. C., I think you're mistaken.
I only repair cars.
(motor hums)
Let me tell you something.
I did that for you, Shortcake,
not Scoop over here.
Good-bye, Shortcake.
Good-bye, Mr. C., Mrs. C.
What was that all about?
Oh, it's nothing.
I got the dope.
Oh, you don't know anything at all.
Fonzie broke Richie's pen
and they're not talking to each other now.
Oh, that's what you think it is?
My friend was there
Okay, okay, you two.
Look, I want to talk to Richie alone for a minute.
I know what happened,
because Jenny Piccolo was there.
Tell me about it upstairs.
Tell me from the beginning.
The pen sounds like the end.
Jenny Piccolo went to Arnold's to meet boys
Jenny Piccolo is boy crazy.
I know, she's teaching me everything! Oh!
Did you and Fonzie have a fight?
Yeah, he's getting worked up over nothing. Mm.
Not wanting me to tell that he's squeamish about liver.
Isn't it crazy to be scared of liver?
Not to him.
Why do you want to write this story about Fonzie, anyway?
Because I'm a tough reporter.
And it's the truth, and it should be printed.
Oh, and a lot of people will run to read it, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good reporting.
It's good business and I'm tough.
Tell me something, how would you feel if you found out
that Stan Musial was afraid of the dark?
"Stan the Man" afraid of the dark?
But he plays all those night games,
standing out there all alone in the outfield.
How could Stan the Man be afraid of the dark?
He couldn't, I just made that up.
Oh, Dad. Richie
My whole point is, that if somebody
does something wrong, and it harms people,
well, then it's your job to report it.
And you did your job very well.
I mean, the cook and his accomplice,
they've both been grabbed.
But to print a story just to shock people
and sell a few papers, I think that's wrong.
Well, well, what if this story was about a stranger?
What if it wasn't about a friend of mine?
Friendship's got nothing to do with it.
Look, Fonzie is a hero in the neighborhood.
Now, if he hasn't done anything wrong,
why do you want to hurt him?
Dad, are you saying, as a father,
that I can't print this article?
I am just saying that I've seen enough of these stories
hurt a lot of people.
It's just my opinion.
Okay.
I have my own opinions, you know, Dad.
I'm a senior.
Yes, you are.
All right, take it easy, Al.
It'll work out.
No, it's not going to work out.
We rehearsed all week. Relax, relax.
Hi, guys. POTSIE & RALPH: Hey, Rich.
Hey, I like that, Al. How's it going?
How's it going?
The Turkey Hop is a turkey.
Oh, well, that's cute,
but, uh, what's going on around here?
Keep it low, will you, Rich?
Yeah, Fonzie wants it quiet.
Oh. Where is Fonzie? He's in his office.
I better go talk to him. I wouldn't do that, Rich.
Yeah, right after he said he wanted quiet,
he said no one was allowed to mention your name.
Yeah, just to be safe,
Richie Buckhalter changed his name to Herman Katz.
I can do this.
Liver. Hey, I did it.
Fonz?
Hey, I heard a sound, but that's impossible,
because the person knows not to talk to me.
Come on, Fonz.
This article thing is getting
completely out of hand.
I think we ought to have a talk
about this article thing.
Hey, I don't care about your article.
Because by the time it comes out,
I will have my problem solved.
Liver
(quietly): Aaayyh
is chock full
I know, it's chock full of vitamins and minerals,
and very good for you, and none of that matters
because I'm cutting that out of my article.
Who cares if Stan Musial
is afraid of the dark?
Stan the Man is afraid of the dark?
I don't know.
Then why did you say it?
I was just trying to make a point.
Well, being a star reporter,
you ain't doing such a hot job, huh?
What I'm trying to say, Fonz, is that
I was all wrong about the liver.
I know that.
I just, I just couldn't understand
why you got so upset about it.
I will tell you why I'm so upset.
A lot of people try to take the Lone Ranger's mask off,
but Tonto never tried.
Yeah. Yeah, I understand.
Yeah.
Hey, look at this.
Alfred gave me this for my office.
It is a hand dryer, huh?
(whirring) Dig that, huh?
No, no, no wash your hands first,
it's more fun wet. Oh, right.
HOWARD: Alfred,
you look like you just fell off
a box of Dutch Masters cigars.
Could you smile just a little bit?
Come on, smile. Yeah, Al, smile.
Oh, how can I smile when my Turkey Hop is dying?
Don't worry about it.
It's gonna be all right. AL: Sure.
Hey, why all the long faces here?
This is a festive hop.
I want to see you smile.
Now, that's better, yeah.
Let's groove it and hop here.
All right, Fonz, a little music.
Great! Okay.
Come on up, Al. Right here.
Right in the middle. (Music begins)
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da dum ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da dum ♪
Sha-boom ♪Waa-waa, waa, waa ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da ♪
Oh, the dance was just wonderful.
Do just one more number.
Anything for you, Mrs. C.
What do you want to hear, Mom?
Do my favorite.
Oh, we know that one, guys.
I got to find the music to that one.
That's nostalgia.
Fonzie, are you sure
you want to go through with this?
I know what I'm doing, Mr. C.
You know it's not necessary.
I gotta do it.
Okay.
All right, Al, bring it in!
POTSIE: Here's your song, Mrs. C.
When you walk through a storm ♪
Hold your head up high ♪
And don't be afraid of the dark ♪
At the end of a storm ♪
Is a golden sky ♪
And the sweet silver sound of a lark ♪
Walk on through the wind ♪
Walk on through the rain ♪
Though your dreams be tossed and torn ♪
Walk on, walk on ♪
With faith in your heart ♪
And you'll never walk alone ♪
You'll never ♪
Walk alone. ♪
. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
Dream ♪
Dream, dream, dream ♪
Dream ♪
.
When I want you in my arms ♪
When I want you ♪
Ralph, here this is your hamburger eat.
Oh, no, thanks, Al, I can't.
My tummy hurts, too.
Your tummy?
Gut Fonz, gut.
You know, like the regular guys say: "Gut."
Wait a minute, is it my food?
It can't be.
This is my mother's own recipe.
She gave it to me for my 21st birthday.
AL: I can still remember it.
I wanted a car.
Just take it easy, Al.
It's not your food.
It's the school's food.
Yeah. Good!
AL: I mean, terrible.
You know, something must be going around,
because so many kids are sick.
Lookit, the place is half empty.
I'm afraid this Turkey Hop is going to be a flop.
But I don't care.
I can handle it, no problem.
(weakly): I can.
(quiet whimper)
I really don't feel good.
Hey guys, guess what happened
Hey, you started sucking your thumb again.
Good one, Fonz, good one.
Not so good.
I loosened my cap biting in to my meat loaf at school.
Must have been well done.
Hey, good one Malph, good one.
I still got it.
I'm a man in pain, but I still got it.
Yeah, there was a bone in my meat loaf.
Look, I saved it. Oh, yeah?
What are you going to do with it,
put it under your pillow and wait
to get a dollar from the bone fairy?
Well, this could be serious.
Upset stomachs, bones in the food.
You know, ever since the school got that new cook,
the food has been terrible.
Oh, what are you talking about?
I mean, all school food is how do you say it?
Crud.
Yeah, but this isn't even your everyday crud.
Yeah? Well, then stop whining
about it and do something, huh?
FONZIE: There, Mr. Pad and Pencil?
Yeah, I could write a story for the school paper.
Are you kidding?
You can't beat the system.
Yeah, you're right.
You'll get expelled.
Yeah, you're right.
Aren't you always talking about being a star reporter?
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, but you can't go to college
if you get thrown out of high school.
Yeah, you're right.
If you don't have "intestine" fortitude
to write the truth, forget it.
Yeah, you're right.
And you're right.
Oh, look at me, I'm wishy-washy.
He's right. He's right. You're right.
I'm a senior, and I'm still not a tough reporter,
but I'm gonna become one.
He's right. This is a very good story.
The wire services might want to pick up on this.
Every kid in America will want to read about this:
Scandal in School Cafeteria.
Extra, extra!
Dateline Milwaukee.
Hey, hey, stop the presses, will you?
Whoa!
Hey, listen, you guys, you, uh,
finish discussing this problem
'cause I got something better to do and you don't.
Mom, this won't work.
Trust me.
Your father will fly into a rage
and he'll say "Over my dead body!"
Then you'll act discouraged
and go up and put on the dress you really want to buy.
That's how I handle your father.
Gee, marriage is fun.
Howard? HOWARD: Yeah?
Joanie wants your opinion on a new outfit, dear.
Okay.
(humming happily)
Wants a man's point of view, huh?
All righty.
Ta-da! ♪
Well?
Over my dead body.
Oh, darn, I don't think he likes it.
Oh, but everybody's wearing short shorts.
If that was any shorter, it would be a belt.
Oh, gee.
Poor dear, I think her little heart is broken.
Well, Marion, I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings,
but years from now, she'll thank me.
Dear, you just had a big dinner,
I wish you wouldn't nibble.
RICHIE: Mom, Dad!
Mom, Dad! Over here.
Oh, good.
I got it.
I got a story right here that's gonna blow
the whole Jefferson cafeteria scandal wide open.
Listen to this:
Headline, "Tables Turned on School Cafeteria."
You get it? Tables turned?
Isn't he clever?
Go ahead, Scoop.
All right
"Byline, Richie Cunningham.
Several students barely escaped death recently"
Barely escaped death?
Yeah, Dad.
Ralph and I had upset stomachs.
It could have been gas.
May I go on, Mom?
Oh let him go on, Howard.
Go on, Richie.
"Informed sources report excessive traces of bone"
"and other foreign matter in the meat loaf"
What informed sources?
Well, it sounds better than saying Potsie found a bone
in the meat loaf.
There are no bones in meat loaf.
Oh, yeah, what does that look like, gravy?
That looks like a bone.
That's why I'm saving it for evidence.
Oh, come on, Richie,
are you really gonna turn this story in?
Sure, I am. Why not? It's the truth.
What truth?
You don't have any facts.
I've got plenty of facts.
You haven't got a stitch of evidence.
I've got piles of evidence.
Name one pile.
All right.
Okay, how about the
Well, then there's the
And then we got
There's Potsie's bone.
Oh. You already know about that.
All right, okay, so I got to find a few facts
to fill in some holes.
I'm not a tough reporter yet,
but I'm gonna become one, Dad, you wait and see.
I'm gonna get you evidence that you won't believe.
Well, I guess you're not gonna like this either, huh, Dad?
Oh, that's very nice.
I like that.
Keeps you all covered up.
That's all right if she buys it?
Right, Howard?
Of course.
Well, now, we'll just return the other one.
Why do they pull this trick on me every year?
(sniffs)
It's not bad.
MAN: Leave me alone, would you, Curly?
I don't want to buy any tickets to the Turkey Hop.
What am I, a child?
All I want to do is get this stuff loaded.
Now what grade meat is this?
U.S. Bad Choice.
Listen, I'm getting a little nervous, Curly.
Those kids around school,
they haven't been looking too good lately.
Will you relax, Louie?
And wait until we start switching
the vegetables on them next week.
I don't want to hear about that, okay?
All I want you to do is take this good meat
and sell it to that fancy restaurant, okay?
Now let's go.
Hey, kid, what are you doing here?
Just sweeping.
Oh are you the new janitor
that, uh, that foreign exchange student?
(with Swedish accent): Ya.
Ya, that's me, I the new foreign exchange student.
I'm Gunnar Lindquist.
I work a little after school, cleaning up,
and making little extra money with my boot seen.
Your what?
My boot seen.
My Swedish for my broom.
Yeah, well, listen, how do you say
"finish up and get lost" in Swedish?
Volvo.
Well, you better do it quick, kid.
Hey, you know, I always thought Volvo was a car.
So did I, Louie.
(with gruff voice): All right, put up your hands.
But I'm the jan
Oh, Fonz, what are you doing here?
Malph told me what you were up to,
and I wanted to see
how an investigative reporter worked, huh?
Hey, can you see through these?
Oh, Fonz
Fonz, I am really on to something.
I've been watching these guys all day long.
Yeah? Let me take a picture of you in this outfit.
You look great. No, Fonz, this is not a very good time
Stand there, smile hold your broom here we go.
The cook is coming back and
Hey, hey, hey, smile, then talk all right.
Do me a favor, get up against the counter here.
Get up against the counter.
All right, hold it, hold it.
Oh that's great, that's great.
All right, now talk This is bigger than I thought, Fonz.
They're selling the good meat,
and they're giving the bad meat to the kids.
I got to take some pictures of this stuff.
Hey, listen, Fonz, could you take the pictures?
'Cause, 'cause, see, I want to look
in the books for a minute, okay?
I'll explain later.
Oh, this is really big time Aw
These guys are really crooked, I
Fonz, you're not taking any pictures.
I can't take any pictures.
Yeah, well, I know it's bad meat, Fonz,
but see, that's why we want to take pictures of it.
It's not the meat, it's that in the pan.
Oh, well, this is good, Fonz.
There's nothing wrong with this.
It's just liver.
(gasping in horror)
Get that away from me!
Everybody has got weaknesses.
Superman had kryptonite.
Fonz, are you afraid of liver?
I am not afraid! No!
I'm not afraid. Just get it away from me!
You just don't like it 'cause it's all wet-looking
and drippy, and brown.
Hey, listen, how would you like
to be wet and drippy and brown?
I wouldn't like that. I'll take the pictures, Fonz.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, I don't like that, I don't eat that,
and I don't go around with guys that hang out with that.
Ugh! Yuck!
Hey, hey, kid, what are you doing with the camera?
(with Swedish accent): I just taking
some pictures for my cousin, Ole.
Smile.
(normal voice): Great, I'll see you later.
Hey, that kid was watching us.
He's gonna turn us in! We could go to prison!
I hope not.
I heard the food stinks.
Sure, sure, I'll give you an autograph, here you go.
Scoop Cunningham.
Hey, you know, I'm his buddy, I helped him write it.
Come on, guys, we should be rehearsing.
The Turkey Hop's tomorrow night.
Don't worry Pots, this is better.
POTSIE: You're right.
Here, I'll sign anything.
Oh, a note for me? Thank you.
Oh, I can't do that.
I can.
My folks are out of town.
All right, girls, let's split.
Wait Wait a minute, who wrote the note?
Wait a minute, girls, who wrote the note? Tell me!
Cunningham, uh I want to thank you.
I heard that you mentioned me in your article.
Of course I did, Fonz.
I never would've written the article if it wasn't for you.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, Fonz, not only were you right about the administration
not being mad at me, but I'm now a star reporter.
Hey, what did I tell you, Scoop?
You print the truth, you're in like Flynn, huh?
Yeah, you're right. I'm printing a follow-up story, too.
It's the story behind the story.
I'm calling it "The Story Behind the Story."
That's very clever.
Want a preview, Fonz?
Yeah, sure let me see that.
Yeah.
Hey, that's great.
You put in the part about your, uh, your disguise.
Yeah. That was funny.
And about me taking the pictures.
That's good, that's good.
Oh, oh excuse me for a minute, okay?
Sure.
No, now wait a minute, Fonz. What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just crossing out this part
about me and the liver.
No, no, Fonz, you can't cross out that part.
You see, that's part of the story.
That's why I didn't get pictures of the meat.
Hey, listen, Richie,
the rest of this article is terrific.
I just don't want that part about me
and the liver, you know.
Yeah, but it's the truth,
and you said to always print the truth.
Not this truth.
That's censorship.
Hey, it's got nothing to do with censorship.
This ain't going in the article, that's all.
Fonz, this is very interesting, you know.
It's like the Lone Ranger.
Everybody's always trying to pull off his mask.
I wouldn't do that.
But don't you see that this is
why this is such a great story?
Because I'm pulling off the mask.
But it's my mask!
Fonz, it's no big deal.
So what if you're scared of liver.
Will you keep that down?
Fonz, it's a humorous sidelight, that's all.
It doesn't hurt anybody, and it's true.
So I'm printing it.
After everything I've done for you?
I give you advice about chicks,
I protect you from bullies
But you're also the one who told me about truth
and intestinal fortitude.
Cunningham, let me just put it this way:
If you don't rewrite the story,
I'm going to rewrite your face.
Well, I know your reputation, Fonz,
but you are now dealing with a tough reporter.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. And just remember,
the pen is mightier than the sword.
Ah.
Sometimes.
Well, all right, Fonz,
you just do what you have to do,
but I'm printing every word of this story.
All right.
All right, I'm not going to work you over.
Just listen to me
'cause I'm only going to say this one time.
We are no longer friends.
Oh, now wait a minute, Fonz.
Oh, there's one more thing, Cunningham, one more thing.
Former friends don't talk.
You gotta be kidding.
After everything we've been through together?
I don't believe this.
I believe it.
(to theme song melody): La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
Oh, I tell you, Marion,
looking at these old slides is just terrific.
Hey, when was the last time I weighed 150 pounds?
Are you feeding a bear?
Uh-huh.
Yellowstone Park, 1945.
Hello.
JOANIE: Hi, Fonz.
Oh, Arthur.
Hey, Mrs. C, how's everything?
Nice to see you.
Arthur, can you fix my sewing machine?
You're so good at that kind of thing.
Hey, sure I can.
You've got nice legs there, Shortcake.
Mr. C., you shouldn't be looking at that
with ladies in the room.
What's that?
You got a bear, a chubby kid and a skinny guy.
You know these people?
That's us!
Aw, what a cute family.
Would you mind fixing the machine, please?
Yeah, sure.
Mom, could you put some cuffs on these
and keep them the same length?
Hey, uh, I'm really sorry, Mrs. C.
This is the other model, it's way beyond repair.
You've got to send this out.
Oh, Arthur, now you always fix it.
You just do like this.
Mrs. C., I think you're mistaken.
I only repair cars.
(motor hums)
Let me tell you something.
I did that for you, Shortcake,
not Scoop over here.
Good-bye, Shortcake.
Good-bye, Mr. C., Mrs. C.
What was that all about?
Oh, it's nothing.
I got the dope.
Oh, you don't know anything at all.
Fonzie broke Richie's pen
and they're not talking to each other now.
Oh, that's what you think it is?
My friend was there
Okay, okay, you two.
Look, I want to talk to Richie alone for a minute.
I know what happened,
because Jenny Piccolo was there.
Tell me about it upstairs.
Tell me from the beginning.
The pen sounds like the end.
Jenny Piccolo went to Arnold's to meet boys
Jenny Piccolo is boy crazy.
I know, she's teaching me everything! Oh!
Did you and Fonzie have a fight?
Yeah, he's getting worked up over nothing. Mm.
Not wanting me to tell that he's squeamish about liver.
Isn't it crazy to be scared of liver?
Not to him.
Why do you want to write this story about Fonzie, anyway?
Because I'm a tough reporter.
And it's the truth, and it should be printed.
Oh, and a lot of people will run to read it, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good reporting.
It's good business and I'm tough.
Tell me something, how would you feel if you found out
that Stan Musial was afraid of the dark?
"Stan the Man" afraid of the dark?
But he plays all those night games,
standing out there all alone in the outfield.
How could Stan the Man be afraid of the dark?
He couldn't, I just made that up.
Oh, Dad. Richie
My whole point is, that if somebody
does something wrong, and it harms people,
well, then it's your job to report it.
And you did your job very well.
I mean, the cook and his accomplice,
they've both been grabbed.
But to print a story just to shock people
and sell a few papers, I think that's wrong.
Well, well, what if this story was about a stranger?
What if it wasn't about a friend of mine?
Friendship's got nothing to do with it.
Look, Fonzie is a hero in the neighborhood.
Now, if he hasn't done anything wrong,
why do you want to hurt him?
Dad, are you saying, as a father,
that I can't print this article?
I am just saying that I've seen enough of these stories
hurt a lot of people.
It's just my opinion.
Okay.
I have my own opinions, you know, Dad.
I'm a senior.
Yes, you are.
All right, take it easy, Al.
It'll work out.
No, it's not going to work out.
We rehearsed all week. Relax, relax.
Hi, guys. POTSIE & RALPH: Hey, Rich.
Hey, I like that, Al. How's it going?
How's it going?
The Turkey Hop is a turkey.
Oh, well, that's cute,
but, uh, what's going on around here?
Keep it low, will you, Rich?
Yeah, Fonzie wants it quiet.
Oh. Where is Fonzie? He's in his office.
I better go talk to him. I wouldn't do that, Rich.
Yeah, right after he said he wanted quiet,
he said no one was allowed to mention your name.
Yeah, just to be safe,
Richie Buckhalter changed his name to Herman Katz.
I can do this.
Liver. Hey, I did it.
Fonz?
Hey, I heard a sound, but that's impossible,
because the person knows not to talk to me.
Come on, Fonz.
This article thing is getting
completely out of hand.
I think we ought to have a talk
about this article thing.
Hey, I don't care about your article.
Because by the time it comes out,
I will have my problem solved.
Liver
(quietly): Aaayyh
is chock full
I know, it's chock full of vitamins and minerals,
and very good for you, and none of that matters
because I'm cutting that out of my article.
Who cares if Stan Musial
is afraid of the dark?
Stan the Man is afraid of the dark?
I don't know.
Then why did you say it?
I was just trying to make a point.
Well, being a star reporter,
you ain't doing such a hot job, huh?
What I'm trying to say, Fonz, is that
I was all wrong about the liver.
I know that.
I just, I just couldn't understand
why you got so upset about it.
I will tell you why I'm so upset.
A lot of people try to take the Lone Ranger's mask off,
but Tonto never tried.
Yeah. Yeah, I understand.
Yeah.
Hey, look at this.
Alfred gave me this for my office.
It is a hand dryer, huh?
(whirring) Dig that, huh?
No, no, no wash your hands first,
it's more fun wet. Oh, right.
HOWARD: Alfred,
you look like you just fell off
a box of Dutch Masters cigars.
Could you smile just a little bit?
Come on, smile. Yeah, Al, smile.
Oh, how can I smile when my Turkey Hop is dying?
Don't worry about it.
It's gonna be all right. AL: Sure.
Hey, why all the long faces here?
This is a festive hop.
I want to see you smile.
Now, that's better, yeah.
Let's groove it and hop here.
All right, Fonz, a little music.
Great! Okay.
Come on up, Al. Right here.
Right in the middle. (Music begins)
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da dum ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da dum ♪
Sha-boom ♪Waa-waa, waa, waa ♪
Sha-boom, sha-boom ♪
Ya-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da ♪
Oh, the dance was just wonderful.
Do just one more number.
Anything for you, Mrs. C.
What do you want to hear, Mom?
Do my favorite.
Oh, we know that one, guys.
I got to find the music to that one.
That's nostalgia.
Fonzie, are you sure
you want to go through with this?
I know what I'm doing, Mr. C.
You know it's not necessary.
I gotta do it.
Okay.
All right, Al, bring it in!
POTSIE: Here's your song, Mrs. C.
When you walk through a storm ♪
Hold your head up high ♪
And don't be afraid of the dark ♪
At the end of a storm ♪
Is a golden sky ♪
And the sweet silver sound of a lark ♪
Walk on through the wind ♪
Walk on through the rain ♪
Though your dreams be tossed and torn ♪
Walk on, walk on ♪
With faith in your heart ♪
And you'll never walk alone ♪
You'll never ♪
Walk alone. ♪
. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪