Love, Death & Robots (2019) s04e10 Episode Script

For He Can Creep

[opening theme music playing]
[electronic chirp]
[electronic warbling]
[vibrant string music playing]
[distant wailing and screeching]
[cackles]
[cries out]
[muttering] I see it
For I perceived God's light about him
Both wax and fire
[meowing]
Oh. Hail and well met, Jeoffry.
Have you been fighting again?
- Such a bold gentleman you are.
- [meows]
- Yes, of course. [chuckles]
- [purrs]
But what am I to do
when God asks of me
to translate the one true poem
that unfolds the universe?
Still, I'm glad of your companionship.
Without you, I fear the devil
would have claimed me long ago.
[music fades]
[bell tolling]
[meows]
[tense music playing]
[dramatic sting]
[snarls]
[dramatic sting]
[growls]
[tense triumphant music playing]
[meows]
[music continues]
Hello, Jeoffry.
I understand
you've been giving my imps some trouble.
What do you have to
say for yourself? Hm?
[Jeoffry] Back, Satan!
[meowing] This is my place, mine!
Well, is anything really ours?
Come, Jeoffry. I have a proposition.
Will you walk with me?
[low growl]
There will be treats.
[Jeoffry] Hm.
[whooshing]
[intriguing music playing]
[Satan] Let's get the formalities
over with, eh?
Yea, I will give you this
and all the kingdoms of the Earth
if you will bow down and worship me.
[Jeoffry] No.
It is you who should
bow down to Jeoffry.
[laughs]
Yes, I suspected as much.
You bear the sin of pride, cat.
A sin I am particularly fond of.
[Jeoffry] And you said
there would be treats.
[Satan] Catnip fresh from the soil,
salted ham from the market,
fish heads with the eyes still in them.
Mm. Scrumptiously poppable.
- But first we must make a deal, Jeoffry.
- [meows]
I have need of your poet,
and I want you to stand aside
and not interfere.
[Jeoffry meowing] Oh no, no, no.
He's mine. The favorite of my pets.
[Satan] Now, now, Jeoffry,
you must understand
- that there are many claims on him.
- [poet cries out]
[Satan] The man is like a ruined estate
overrun with creditors.
He owes the tyrant of heaven,
his family and friends,
and me for his youthful debaucheries
and such.
But I would forgive my debt
- if your "pet" would but write me a poem.
- [poet] Put me down!
[music continues]
Honestly, Jeoffry, the poems
he writes for himself are, mm
not very good.
With my guidance,
he could write something magnificent.
The poem of poems.
Verse that would lay waste [in
demonic voice] to all of creation.
[in normal voice] Do
we have a deal, sir?
[dramatic sting]
[roars]
[dramatic music playing]
[Jeoffry snarling]
What is it?
No! No, no.
Please, Lord Lucifer, spare my cat.
I'll do anything! I swear it.
[Satan] Very well.
[sustained organ chords playing]
[string music playing]
[Satan] Capital, sir, capital.
Oh, sir, sir,
you cannot rhyme love with dove.
It is banal. I shall not allow it.
Yeah, I like the first reference
to "An Essay on Man,"
but the second makes
you seem derivative.
[sighs deeply] All critics are Satan.
[Satan] But marvelous work,
truly marvelous.
I've made a few suggested edits
I'd like you to entertain,
but I'm very pleased with your progress.
If you could tidy these up,
I'll be back for them tomorrow night,
and our business can be done.
[low growl]
[grandiose orchestral music playing]
[music fades]
[low-key orchestral music playing]
[meows]
[cat meows] How now, Jeoffry?
You look as though
a hound has chewed you up.
[Jeoffry] Yes, well, that was no hound,
but Satan himself.
[cat 2 laughs] How now, Jeoffry?
You look worse for wear, mate.
[cat] He fought the devil and lost, Tom.
[Tom chuckles] Of course he did.
And now, Sir Jeoffry seeks the help
of a true fighting cat.
[Jeoffry] It is not strength I seek,
sirrah, but counsel.
Oh. Here it is.
[cat gasps] The Nighthunter Moppet.
[Moppet] Hello, Mistress Polly.
Hello, Master Tom.
Hello, Master Jeoffry.
- [Jeoffry] Hello, Miss Moppet.
- [Moppet gasps] Is that milk?
[Jeoffry clears throat]
[Polly] All right, come on now.
Master Jeoffry has something to say.
Attend to him, all of you.
[Jeoffry] Last night,
Satan came to this madhouse.
He offered treats to lure me away
so he could coerce my poet
into doing his bidding
and, in so doing, take his immortal soul
and destroy all of creation.
[Tom] Oh, that is a scurvy trick.
[Jeoffry] Yes, indeed.
And so, I
Well, I I need your help.
[Tom] This is a strange
business, Jeoffry.
Very strange. [chuckles]
But, uh, if you want my claws, sir,
they're yours for this fight.
[Moppet] No!
We cats are descended
from the Angel Tiger
who killed the Ichneumon-rat of Egypt.
We are warriors of God,
and as such, we can wound Satan,
but we cannot kill him.
To defeat Satan,
we must deny him that which he desires.
[Jeoffry] The poem.
[Tom] A bloody poem?
What does he want that for?
[Jeoffry] I understand
what must be done.
[Polly] We shall help you.
[Tom] We shall fight him!
[Moppet] And, Jeoffry, you shall creep.
[musical flourish]
- [bell tolls]
- [poet mumbling indistinctly]
Come, come, Master Smart. Hand it over.
As the surgeon said, "'Tis
better to have it all out at once."
[Satan chuckles]
[Smart quaking in fear]
- [Tom] Oi! Stand and deliver, you wanker!
- [Polly meows and hisses]
Oh, please.
I've had quite enough
of you damned cats.
[Polly hisses] We'll have
more than your stockings, sir.
[Tom growls] I'll have your hide,
you bloody [hisses]
[gasps mockingly] Language.
I won't be called a [imitates hiss]
by anyone, let alone
[in demonic voice]
a flea-bitten alley cat.
Lay on then, sir!
[fire roaring]
[frantic orchestral music playing]
I am the Nighthunter Moppet! [meowing]
[meowing and hissing]
[Satan crying out]
Get it off!
[Smart whimpering]
[Moppet] We are descended from angels,
and as such, we too can move
in the spaces between worlds.
[whimpering]
[music continues]
[growling]
[Tom meows]
[meowing]
Stand down, vile kitten!
[meowing] I am Nighthunter Moppet!
- [cats screeching]
- [Satan roars]
[Tom] Back to hell with you,
you fiend! [hisses]
You cannot win.
Oppose me further, and die.
[Polly meowing] Then we choose death!
[Moppet] Nighthunter Moppet!
Very well.
[roars]
[music crescendoes]
[Jeoffry meows]
[Smart gasps] Jeoffry!
- [music ends]
- [bell tolls]
My poem!
His soul was in that poem!
[Jeoffry] Hm?
Oh. Oh yes, so it was. [chuckles]
Well, I shall keep it safe.
And, uh, so much for your dominion
over the Earth as well.
Now be gone, foul creature! [hisses]
[ink pot clatters]
[roars]
[vibrant string music playing]
[in normal voice]
You have scarred literature forever,
you stupid cat!
[music continues]
[Smart] For I will
consider my Cat Jeoffry
For he counteracts
the powers of darkness
By his electrical skin and glaring eyes
For he counteracts the Devil
Who is death
For he can creep
[music ends]
[electronic warbling]
[low-key orchestral music playing]
[music fades]
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