Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s04e11 Episode Script

1
We should be home
preparing to celebrate
Chinese new year,
not running around
on a wild goose chase.
Uncle's new chi detector
registers disturbing
levels of dark chi.
Are you sure, uncle?
You jury-rigged
an old metal detector,
and we are in a--
is it just me,
or is this place
a dump?
Aah! Jade,
what are you doing here?
Spending
Chinese new year
with my loved ones.
(Chi detector crackles)
(Gasps)
Dark chi!
You're not supposed
to be here.
I must be running late.
For what?
Halloween?
Look, Jade has
to get out of hereNow!
Me? What'd I--
hey! How do you
know my name?
Who are you,
and what do you want
with Jade?
Not me. Him!
(Gasps)
Dark chi.
Look out!
Aah!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Dark magic?
He won't be down for long.
Let's go!
Jade is not going
anywhere.
Hyah!
(Grunts)
Whoa!
Sorry,
but I don't have time
to negotiate.
I said Jade stays.
Who is this stranger?
Beats me,
but she kinda rocks.
Heyee!
Nephew has
slow reflexes,
but if you want
piece of uncle
Jade!
(Sniffs)
Stranger uses
good chi magic?
Good or bad,
she kidnapped Jade.
You find Jade.
Uncle will find
dark chi.
I think
I'm gonna hurl!
This from the girl
who rode the pukinator
10 times in a row
at moose world?
Jade: Hey
How'd you know that?
Talk later.
Now, wait a second!
We have
to keep moving,
Jade.
Trust me.
Uncle Jackie told me--
to never trust
strangers,
never chew
- with your mouth open,
and never spit
into the wind.
Duh.
Whoa. Time out.
Are you
You?
Took you
long enough.
If you're me,
then you must be
From the future!
Double bonus score.
But how? Why?
I'll give you
the download
on the way.
(Whistles)
I learned
to whistle like that?
Cool!
Jade!
(Ice cream truck jingles)
Follow that cab!
I will buy an ice cream.
A dozen.
Deal.
Jade: So they have
- time machines in the future?
How old do I look?
I used
one of uncle's spells.
Hey
Do I ever get braces?
No.
Acne?
Some.
Wild threads
like those?
Section 13
standard wear.
I grow up to be
a section 13 agent?!
Boss. You take--
I took over
for captain black
after he was transferred
to the east coast
to start up section 14.
Me?! The big cheese
of section 13?!
We rock!
So why didn't you
just tell Jackie and uncle
who you were back there?
Didn't have time
to convince them.
Too busy trying
to save the future.
From what?
Him! Shendu's son.
Please.
Call me drago.
Hey, you two related?
Because I definitely
see a resemblance here.
Resemble this,
junior!
Aah!
That's how
you blasted him
in the junk yard.
The dragon talisman:
Never leave the future
without it.
Whoa!
Whoa!
(Grunts)
Drago's a hothead.
Like father,
like son.
Dive! Unh!
Fire magic.
- It does a talisman good.
Good news is
we still have one
just like it
in the vault
at section 13.
Bad news is
we're not at section 13.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Heh. Parade float.
Heh. Chinese new year.
Well, Jade
We played
follow the leader
into the past,
so why not
hide-and-seek?
You distract lizard lips,
and I'll jump him
from behind.
Wha--
if drago
bumps you off
in the present,
I could
pop right out
of existence,
and the future'll
be history.
Whoa. This time travel stuff
is freaky.
Kick some tail!
(Grunts)
Look, Jade has
nothing to do with this.
Talk later!
Talk later!
Ahh, Mr. Jackie chan.
My dad sends his best.
Your father?
Who is your father?
Aah! Never mind!
I have a pretty good idea,
thank you!
(Grunts)
There's nothing more festive
than fireworks!
(Gasp)
No!
(Whimpers)
Aah!
Happy new year,
everyone.
(Chuckles)
It's gonna blow!
Aah!
Aah!
(Grunts)
Jade!
Yes, Jackie?
Yes, Jackie?
Explain?
I didn't intend
to involve you guys,
but I arrived
a lot later
than I'd hoped.
Heh. Never tested
uncle's spell.
Oh! And I thought
one Jade gave me
a headache.
But why did you
come back here?
Duh! Isn't it obvious?
Future me is so mega-bad
that dragon-boy
had to come back to the past
to rub me out
while I'm just a squirt.
So I surfed the time waves
here to protect myself
and his kick his scaly butt
all the way back to
the future.
Then why did drago leave
without charbroiling you?
Well, because
Yeah,
why did drago leave?
Because he has
bigger fish to fry.
How much bigger?
I didn't
follow drago here.
Drago followed me
to keep me
from putting the kibosh
on the age of dragons.
Age of dragons?
I do not like
the sound of that.
Soon after I became
section 13's head honcho,
Sonny boy made it to the top
of our most wanted list.
Luckily,
I convinced you and uncle
to become section 13's
official magic consultants.
You mean
I never leave
section 13?!
But even you and uncle
couldn't prevent
what happened next.
Junior dusted off
an old spell
of his dad's
and conjured up an army
of dragon minions,
giving him
more than enough muscle
to take over section 13.
I soon realized
the only way
to save the future
Was to change the past.
It took some doing,
but I escaped
drago's troops.
But junior got wise
to my plan
and hitched a ride
on uncle's spell.
Whoa!
So all this
already happened?!
In the future?!
There is one thing
you have not told us.
What exactly is drago trying
to stop you from changing
in the past?
He's trying to stop me
from preventing
the resurrection
of his father.
Shendu.
Uncle: Hmm.
Source of dark chi
must lie here.
(Gasps) Ayah!
Dragon teeth!
More dark chi?
Hey! What do you know?
I'm off the scale.
Drago's
racing to protect
the magic dragon teeth
that'll revive
his father.
I have to get
to them first
and destroy them
by midnight.
Why midnight?
The moment
I left the future
it was sunset--
the evening before
Chinese new year.
The exact time
you arrived here.
And in the future,
drago has already cast
the dragon teeth spell.
So if we don't
destroy the teeth,
shendu makes
his big comeback
at the stroke
of Chinese new year.
Big whoop.
Future Jackie
and future uncle
can beat future shendu.
They've done it before.
Jackie and uncle
were taken prisoner
during the dragon raid
on section 13.
They're set
to become shendu's
"welcome back" snack
In 15 minutes.
(Both grunt)
The good news--
I know where
the teeth are buried.
And the bad news?
The can only
be destroyed by magic,
and there's no time
for a talisman run.
No problem.
Uncle's always packing
hocus pocus.
We're too late!
Jackie: Uncle.
You don't think he's--
Jackie!
We must retrieve teeth!
Oh!
I imagine
- grampy's referring to
These little choppers!
You're taking a risk
hanging around here,
aren't you, drago?
Can't go anywhere
without my ride.
What's he mean?
Time-travel spell.
Never leave the future
without a return ticket.
Dad's homecoming
is just minutes away,
and I really
don't want to miss
the appetizers.
No deal, drago.
How about this
Hand me the spell,
or the old guy
goes bungee jumping
without a bungee.
(Snarls)
Have it your way!
Ayah!
(Grunts)
Stay here!
Oh!
Hyah!
Like old times.
Sorry, scaly.
I'm not
the sentimental type.
Hyah!
Hurry, slowpoke!
Uncle at end
of his rope!
Ayah!
Jackie, do not know
what young dragon's
up to,
but teeth are very evil.
You do not know
the half of it.
Unh!
Sometimes
the future is now.
(Growls)
Apologies
for my bad breath.
Hyah!
(Grunts)
You were
supposed to stay put.
Tch. You know me
better than that.
My, what big teeth you have.
We're almost
out of time.
(Imitates buzzer)
You lose.
Dad just got
his wake-up call.
I live again!
No finer way
- to emerge from a slumber
than to a nice hot cup
of revenge.
Say, are you sure
he's shendu's kid?
Who?
The tooth fairy here?
Tch. I mean,
shendu had edge.
But this drago
dude's more like--
a gecko with zits?
No!
No! Not again!
Aah!
Teeth do not disintegrate
all by themselves.
Jade.
Jade.
I shall destroy you
now and forever!
Told you a thousand times,
magic must defeat magic.
Where did teeth go?
Dragon's firebreath
is magic. Duh.
Who is smarty-pants,
good chi magic know-it-all
who looks like Jade?
Ayah!
The dragons
will rise again!
(Echoing)
Again! Again! Again!
I really appreciate
you saving me the hassle
of hauling
drago's scaly tail
all the way back
to the future.
Aww, do you have
to go back so soon?
We haven't
gone rollerblading
or--or mastered the pukinator
at moose world!
Been there,
done that.
Besides,
don't you think--
hanging around with myself
is a little weird?
Yeah. We'd probably
just sit around all day
Both jades: Finishing
each other's sentences?
One more thing.
Future uncle allows you
to use his spells?
Oh, uh, yeah.
Total access.
You really mellow out
as you age.
Tch. As if.
Oh, almost forgot.
Pop quiz tomorrow
in spelling.
Study chapter 8.
Uh, Jade
Thank you for saving
our, uh, lives.
Be careful.
And I just
wanted you to know,
I am proud of who
you turned out to be.
I owe who
I turned out to be
to one person,
uncle Jackie.
You. Duh.
Hey, Jackie,
how do you celebrate
Chinese new year?
We do a celebration
that everybody wear red.
Everything's--new socks,
new shoes, new tee shirt.
Everything is new.
I would book the hotel
with all my staff together.
I sing karaoke,
play a little bit of games,
and I give a red envelope.
We have, like,
a Chinese tradition
of red envelopes.
Put some money inside,
then I will say
"gong xi fa cai,"
it's "happy new year,"
traditional Chinese new year.