Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s04e12 Episode Script

1
You there!
Laundry's that way!
Hyah!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Fine work, team.
No one can stop
the Chang gang
Not even the j-team!
The coast is clear.
Move quickly, tohru.
Jade must not find out
captain black is
assembling the j-team
or she will hatch
another kooky--
Jade: Jackie!
I've hatched
a mondo plan
to take down
the j-team's
arch-Nemesis
Bartholomew Chang.
Tell you all
about it on the way
to section 13--awp!
The only plan, Jade,
is for you to stay
here with uncle.
Grrr! Jackie never listens!
Doesn't he realize
I'm not only a member
but the brains
behind the j-team?
Who is up for mah jong
and mung beans?
(Tiles clacking)
Maybe I can spell it
out for Jackie
With a little help
from uncle's magic.
While in prison,
Chang managed to
recruit an elite team,
each possessing skills
matching your own--
an anti j-team,
if you will.
Knock-offs are never
as good as the originals.
don't be so sure, viper.
Meet master thief
Philip crain.
He's pulled
heists on several
international museums--
the louvre, guggenheim,
uffizi, Tate.
I hit each of those
back when I was a thief.
Not on
the same day.
Oh!
El toro, meet your
criminal counterpart--
Bob "the bopper" hathcock,
pro-wrestling champ
gone renegade.
His trademark move--
bopper's bash.
(Stupefied)
Bopper's bash.
(Covering) I mean,
everyone knows American
wrestling is fake.
Black: Tohru, say hello
to Helga sorensen.
She held the world's
strongest woman title
before throwing it away
for a career of crime.
How strong
could a woman be?
Here's Helga lifting
the world's strongest man.
Uhh!
(Gulps)
And my dance
partner would be?
"Little" Tony chun.
don't be fooled
by the glasses.
He's the most feared
martial artist on
China's most-wanted list.
Heh heh! Guess he's not
as cuddly as he looks.
HmmLookee here.
A seniority spell.
"Gives it conjurer
- authority over any subject."
That means the j-team
will finally listen to me!
I'll be their leader!
(Chanting)
So, unc, what would you
say if I commanded you
to let me go
to section 13 with Jackie?
Uncle would say,
go right ahead
Seniority rules.
If you want to make uncle
angrier than rabid goat!
Jade?
(Gasps)
Paco.
Oh, no, no, no, Jade.
The meeting is for
the j-team only.
Then, good thing
I brought my
membership card.
Chang has one weakness--
he will no doubt
attempt to reacquire
his fortune in Jade.
(Telephone rings)
Black here.
Bingo. Museum of
natural history.
(Chanting)
Ok, j-team, follow me!
Jade, stay
with paco!
Grrr! Lousy spell!
Ha ha ha ha! Ah, green!
The color of Jade!
Really, Chang, you
should consider taking
up a legal pastime.
Collecting baseball cards?
Snow globes, maybe?
Warriors, attack!
Uhh!
Rarrr!
No. I will take
the bopper.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Grrr!
Pretty boy's mine.
Uh, I cannot fight a woman.
This woman will
make you scream
like little girl.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ha ha ha!
Jolly good.
Where'd you pick up
that accent--spies "r" us?
The same place
I picked up
this little gem.
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
You are quick!
You mean,
for a chubby guy?
No, no, no!
Not what I meant!
(Chuckles) It would
seem the j-team
has finally
met its match.
Uhh--huhh!
I'll hang your mask
on my mantle!
El toro fuerte never
removes his mask!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Grrr!
Ooh! Aah!
Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
I told you,
I do not fight women.
Heeyah!
Oof!
You're not the only one
with the toys, handsome.
Ooh!
Now, he is chubby.
Ehh!
Uhh!
(All groaning)
That smarts.
Grrr!
Chang!
Uhh!
Ohh!
You've been made by Jade--
er, brains behind
the j-team, not the stone.
Jackie: Jade.
What? You said,
stay with paco.
Como estas?
The results speak for
themselves, Jackie!
Spell or no spell,
the j-team needs to
start including me!
UhSpell?
Uh, what spell?
What's it matter?
Didn't work.
(Gasps) Jade!
Huh?!
Huh?!
Or maybe it just took
time to kick in,
because I forgot
the garlic! Duh!
(All gasp)
This can't
be good.
Oh, bad day!
Oh, boy.
Mommy.
(J-tots gasp)
El toro
à es El
nio?
This is so not the type
of seniority spell
I had in mind.
Ha ha ha ha!
The mighty j-team,
victims of their own
foolish magic!
Now, if you brats
don't mind
Go find a busy street
to play in
while the grown-ups
steal a fortune in Jade.
Jade!
I know!
I am so grounded.
No! Kids
against grown-ups!
Rrarr!
Waah!
Aah!
(Soft punching)
Hyah!
Uhh! Ehh!
(Grunting)
Hyah!
Jalisco hairpull!
(Efforts)
Uhh!
Uhh! Uhh!
Acapulco ankle-lock!
(Efforts)
(The bopper chuckles)
(El toro sputters)
(Grunts and groans)
UhFriends?
I will break you.
(Crying)
(Wails) Ohh!
Heee--heee--heee--
(singsong)
- "V" my name is viper,
my boyfriend's name is Van,
he lives in Venezuela,
sends me violets
when he can!
Looks like it's up to me
to stop Chang.
Heee-yup!
Ooh!
(Grunting)
Hey, watch it!
(Efforting)
Ta-ta, j-tots!
El toro, what
should we do?
Not so fast, paco.
I'm the biggest, so that
means I'm in charge!
And I say, let's see what
uncle thinks we should do.
Heh heh!
(Laughter and chatter)
Sensei, sensei,
look what Jade did to us!
Tattletale.
Aiyaaa! What have you
done to us, Jade?
Whoa. Well, let's see.
I've turned Jackie
into a rough-houser,
tohru into a crybaby,
viper into a--blecch!--
Girly-girl,
and El toro
into--(Sniffs)
Sorry.
Pee-yew! Paco, maybe you
should change your hero.
El toro fuerte never
removes his pants!
Hmm. It would seem
Jade's spell
has left our
adult minds intact,
but made us victim
to childlike impulses!
(Giggles)
Uncle said,"butt!"
Jackie, this is no time
to be childish!
Jade is right!
We must act
our real ages!
We must find
the stolen Jade
and return it
to safety!
We must stop
Mr. poopy-head!
Nuh-uh, Jackie.
You're too young
to stop Chang.
And I'm too young
to be an adult!
Uncle, you have to
do something!
Luckily, uncle possesses
ancient fortune-teller
which will reveal
remedy to situation.
Pick color.
Uh, blue.
B-l-u-e.
Ooh, fortune teller
reveals
You have big crush
on Jade.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(Giggling)
Jade and paco
sittin' in a tree
ok, children,
you leave aunt Jade
no choice--
it's naptime!
No siesta!
I'm not tired.
(Yawns)
First one asleep
gets a cookie
when they wake up.
Uh-uh.
Not you, paco.
I cannot win
the cookie?
Uncle, listen.
If you don't find
a reversal spell
to return the j-team
to normal fast,
the world's greatest
crime fighting team
is kaput!
Oh, oh! Any leads
on Chang?
Intelligence indicates
Chang owns a cargo ship
docked at port 17.
No doubt he'll try and
move the stolen goods
out of the country.
Not with the j-team
waiting.
Jackie, you sound
allChipmunky.
Captain black,
is the section 13
mainframe running?
UhOf course.
Then why don't you
catch it!
(Laughter)
Let's move!
But Jade said
we're not allowed
to stopYou know
Mr. poopy-head?
Well, Jade did not say
we couldn't stop
Mr. doody-face.
Just what I like
to hearNothing.
Huh?!
"Dear Jade, how are you?
I am fine.
"We went to port 17
to stop Chang.
"When I get back,
let's have a tea party?
Best friends forever.
Viper?!"
Unh! They pulled a Jade.
I better pull a Jackie
before it's too late.
I have ants in my pants,
and I must dance
uncle, do your homework
orNo dessert!
Paco, make sure
he finds that spell.
We can't let them steal
all the pretty Jade.
(Gulp) But we're
no match for them.
You are El pollo.
(Imitating chicken)
No. Tohru may be
a crybaby,
but he is right.
(Whimpering)
We need to hatch
a plan.
A really mondo plan!
And final
ingredient
Garlic.
Then this will
turn the j-team
back to normal?
No
But it will make you
donkey boy! Ha ha ha ha!
Quickly now,
load the Jade
onto the ship
so we can--
(horn honks)
Move your leg.
You're stepping
on the brake.
Oh, oh,
tun left now.
Now right!
Have we lost them?
Uhh--unh!
So, you want to play?
Make the j-tots wish
they were never born.
(All gasp)
Jade: Back off,
you bullies!
Hyah!
Look out! It's a siamese
flesh-eating lizard!
Aah!
Aah!
Oop, don't forget
(Chanting rapidly)
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Yes! Garlic's
the charm.
Warriors, attack!
(All yelling)
Ok, Jackie,
care to explain
the helium voice
and the crank calls?
Paco?
Que pasa,
seor b lack?
Hot cha!
Whoa, Nellie!
Never mind
donkey boy.
Uncle has devised
reversal spell.
Paco: You must take it
to the j-team.
Seor u ncle is
too young to drive.
But first we must stop
for ice cream!
Now?
You want uncle
to cast reversal spell
on j-team? Yes?
Then you will stop
à for ice cream!
Huh! Huh!
Sorry, Chang, I only
pick on villains
my own size.
Then the kid gloves
are off.
Whoa!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Let's dance,
pipsqueak!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Rrrrrrr
Rrrrrrr
Unh! Ow!
Unh! Ow!
(Both crying)
Tag! You're it!
Hey, we're not
playing tag.
Then how about
peek-a-boo?!
Patty cake,
Patty cake,
Baker's man,
bake me a cake
like Jackie chan!
Bopper's bash!
Puebla poo-plex.
(Sniffs)
EwwStinkies!
No fair!
Wedginator!
Ooh! Ok, ok!
Uncle!
That is my name.
Do not wear it out.
Pbbbbbbbt!
(Chanting rapidly)
Yay!
Ahem. Ahem.
Uh, many thanks, sensei.
Good work, j-team.
You will need a note
from your parents
to get this back.
Rrrrrrr!
Yeah. You are so grounded!
Chang is not
the only one
who is grounded, Jade.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Hey, Jackie, what's your
favorite museum in the world?
There's only 2 museums
I really remember.
One is in Paris.
There's so many art.
I see Mona Lisa.
But there's one museum,
very interesting.
The Egypt, uhMuseum.
A lot of mummies.
A lot of different
interesting things.
Really, totally different
than Paris museum.