The Brady Bunch (1969) s04e15 Episode Script

1
Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪
Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
All of them had hair of
gold, like their mother ♪
The youngest one in curls
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy
with three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone
Till the one day
when the lady met this fellow ♪
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
That's the way we all became
the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch ♪
That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
Thanks for taking me to get Spunker.
That's okay, Bobby.
BOBBY: He cost two dollars,
but he's worth it.
That's a pretty expensive frog.
Yeah, but he's a guaranteed jumper.
For two bucks, you ought
to get a pole-vaulter.
What's two bucks if he wins a contest?
First prize is $25.
Hey, you'll be loaded.
Yeah, Greg
you're going to drive me and Spunker
to the frog-jumping contest
next Saturday, aren't you?
Sure, I wouldn't miss it.
But if you win that $25
you and Spunker pay for the gas.
( Spunker crickets )
Mom, Dad, look!
Look what I got for the
frog-jumping contest! Hmm?
He cost two dollars,
and I named him Spunker.
MIKE: Say, now, he
looks like a champ to me.
Yeah, and very handsome
for a frog.
I wouldn't have been able to get him
if it wasn't for Greg.
He drove me down to the pet store.
That's okay, Bob.
And boy, is Greg ever a great driver.
We just missed getting into an accident.
What happened?
Uh, nothing really.
What do you mean nothing?
Greg was great.
You see, there was this great big truck
in front of us and Greg
slammed on the brakes
and we skidded right
in between the big truck
and the freeway fence.
He cut you off, Greg?
No, sir.
Were you driving too fast?
No.
Well, you must have been
if you couldn't stop in time.
Honest, Dad, he wasn't driving too fast.
He just bought a new record album.
He was looking at the back cover.
While you were driving?!
Bobby, I only glanced at it.
On the freeway?!
Dad, nothing happened.
I didn't even scratch the car.
Greg, weren't we talking
to you just last week
about paying attention while you drive?
I think you'd better spend a little time
thinking about your driving habits
while you don't use the car for a week.
A week?! Dad, that's not fair.
Well, it's a lot fairer
than not using it for two weeks.
But Dad, it wasn't that
You want to try for three?
Come on, Spunker, just jump.
Great big jump.
Just a little. Little jump.
Hi. Where'd you get the frog?
Burke's Pond?
No, bought him at the pet store.
The pet store?
There's hundreds of
those at Burke's Pond.
But this is a special frog.
Hi. Hi.
Hi Well, thanks for
opening your big mouth.
Now I get to ride my bike
instead of drive the car.
What happened?
I'm grounded for a whole
week because of him.
I was just telling Mom and Dad
what a great driver you are.
How old are you?
Eleven.
That's amazing. What is?
How anyone could get so stupid
in such a short time.
He won't think I'm so
stupid when Spunker wins.
Wins what?
The pet store's having
a big frog jumping contest.
You mean like the one
we saw in the newspaper,
at Calaveras County?
Yeah. First prize is $25.
$25? Wow.
Can anybody enter the contest?
No, it's just for frogs.
Very funny.
Where you going?
Down to Burke's Pond to get a frog.
I'm getting in that contest.
You'll just get a plain old frog down there,
not a thoroughbred like Spunker.
Right, Spunker?
( Frog croaking )
Scott No, I struck out.
I had to ride my bike all
the way down to the music store,
and they're sold out
I think every store is sold out.
I think the only way to get
tickets to that rock concert now
is to drive all the way
down to the stadium.
Me? No, I can't.
I can't use the car.
Can't you get them?
Well, I promised Rachel
I'd take her to the concert,
and I got to get tickets.
( Sighs )
Well, hey, maybe Howie Marshall
could use his car, huh?
Right, I'll find out. Good-bye.
( Frog croaking )
Is that Bobby's frog?
No, he's mine.
I got him at Burke's Pond.
What's his name?
So far I'm just calling him "Frog."
That's a dumb name.
Well, it's better than calling him "Dog."
Why don't you call him "Croaker."
Croaker yeah, Old Croaker, good idea.
How do you like your new name,
Old Croaker?
( Frog croaks )
He likes it.
I got to get some leaves for his house.
Here, hold him.
Oh, no, not me.
Me, either!
He's all slimy.
Girls.
That'll hold you for a minute.
Hey, Peter? Yeah?
Did you see that?
See what?
Never mind.
( Croaking ) ( shrieking )
( Nervously laughing ): Oh
Hello, Greg.
Hi, Dad.
Did you finish your plans?
Yeah, yeah, I did, finally.
Good. Could I see them?
What, the plans?
Sure, if you don't mind.
Thanks.
Terrific.
These are probably the best plans
you've ever done, huh?
Thank you.
By the way, Dad
No.
Please, just this one exception.
There's no way I can get tickets
without driving the car.
Greg, when I said you
were grounded, I meant it.
But the tickets will all be
gone in a couple hours.
Dad, I'll drive straight there
and I'll come straight right back home.
You cannot drive the car
for one week, period.
George, hi. Greg Brady.
Yeah, hey, I haven't talked
to you in a long time.
Listen, pal, you're my last
chance to get tickets
to a rock concert Saturday night.
If you're not doing anything
how about coming over
and picking me up
and we'll go down and get them.
Oh, no, I didn't know you were sick.
Uh, no, I can't use our car
for about a week.
Um
Oh, that's an idea, yeah.
( Bobby buzzing )
Come on, Spunker.
Come on, boy, jump!
Jump for it.
Okay, honey, I'll pick you up at the library
as soon as I finish my marketing, okay?
Well, just take your time, Mom.
I've got plenty of reading to do.
( Bobby buzzing )
Come on, jump for it, boy.
Come on, Spunker, go get it.
Bobby, what are you doing?
I'm trying to make Spunker
jump at this fly.
That's silly.
Oh, yeah?
Bobby!
See, it made you jump.
Oh, that's not a real fly, Marcia.
It's just a piece of knotted thread.
Spunker's smarter than you are.
You jumped and he didn't.
Brothers.
Come on, jump, boy.
Hi, Carol.
Oh, hi, Jenny.
Looks like you're going to feed an army.
Yeah, well, with six kids
I've got an army.
Well, if you need a lift home
I'll be happy to drop you off.
Oh, no, thanks, I've got my car.
Well, that's funny.
What's funny?
I thought yours was still
at the mechanic's.
The mechanic's?
What on earth made you think that?
Well, when Greg came over
to borrow George's car
I just assumed something
was wrong with yours.
Greg borrowed George's car?
To go out to the stadium
and pick up tickets to some rock concert.
Jenny said he borrowed George's car.
Now, if he didn't, why would she say it?
Oh, honey, I just can't believe
that Greg would deliberately disobey us.
Dad.
Jan said you wanted to see me.
Yes, I do.
Greg, did you get tickets
for the rock concert?
Yes.
Did you drive George's car
to the stadium?
I met Mrs. Thompson at the market.
She mentioned it.
Yeah, I drove George's car.
After you'd been told not to drive.
You didn't tell me not to drive.
Yes, I did.
You said not to use our car.
Greg, we told you not to drive.
Our car.
You didn't say I couldn't drive any car.
Yes, but you knew what we meant.
You were grounded, right?
Dad, you said not
to use our car for a week
and I haven't used it.
Aw, Greg, come on.
That's walking a pretty fine line.
Are you trying to say
you didn't understand
what we meant, no driving?
I just know what you told me
and that was not to drive our car.
Okay, Greg, okay, but let's make
no mistake about this:
Except for school,
you are not to leave this house
for the next ten days.
Ten days?!
I'll miss the rock concert.
You can't mean that!
Oh, yes I can and I do.
And I don't want to hear
another word about it.
Aw!
46, 47
Keep it up, honey.
50 of those a day
is supposed to keep you very healthy.
50 oh, I think staying healthy
is going to kill me.
( Knock at door )
Yes?
It's Greg.
Come in.
Mom, Dad
You always said you'd listen to me
if I had something to say.
That's right.
Got something to say.
I think it's unfair for you to ground me
when I didn't disobey you.
Oh, Greg, haven't we been
through all that?
Mom, you said you'd listen
to what I had to say.
Right, go ahead.
If you had said not to drive for a week
that would have meant any car.
You knew that's what we meant.
That's not what you said.
You said not to drive our car.
Are you telling us that would
have made any difference?
It would have made it perfectly clear, yes.
In other words
the misunderstanding was our fault.
No, it wasn't your fault.
It's just that
I wish you could have used
more exact words.
That's what you would like
from now on exact words?
Sure, then there's no
communication gap.
Are you prepared to live
by the same rules?
Absolutely.
All right.
Your mother and I believe
that you knew precisely what we meant
but if you want to live
by exact words, okay.
Then I'm not grounded
for the next ten days?
No well, you still have four days to go
on that freeway incident.
Okay.
Then I won't miss the concert.
Good night.
BOTH: Good night.
( Door closes )
I'm not sure we should have
let him get away with that.
Well, honey, I don't think
we're letting him
get away with anything
because exact words
are pretty hard to live by.
( Bugle blowing horse racing fanfare )
Okay, Old Croaker, this is just
a warm-up for the big event.
Show them you're the best frog.
Come on, Old Croaker, you can do it!
Remember, Spunker,
you're a thoroughbred.
You can take him easy.
Are you ready, Bobby?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Okay, the first one to jump off the tarp
is the winner, okay? Okay.
On your mark
get set
Go!
( All shouting )
Come on, Old Croaker!
Come on, Old Croaker!
Catch him, Spunker!
Catch him, catch him!
Spunker, move!
( All shouting )
Come on, Old Croaker!
Come on, Old Croaker!
Spunker
Come on, Croaker!
Just a little more, come on!
( All shouting )
Yay!
Attaboy, Old Croaker.
Come on, let's go give him a treat. Yeah.
Spunker
Spunker
what's the matter?
You okay, Spunker?
Spunker?
He looks sick.
Maybe he ate a bad fly or something.
What if he doesn't feel
like jumping tomorrow?
Here, why don't you hold him?
( Screams )
Spunker?
You hold him.
Where you going?
Down to Burke's Pond.
I'm going to go get a plain old frog
a mutt.
I think we just became frog-sitters.
( Yells )
( Screams )
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hi, Greg. I didn't hear you come in.
How long have you been home?
About 15 minutes.
I said I'd be home
and ready for bed by 11:00.
My exact words.
Your exact words.
Right.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Oh, Greg? Yes?
Did you get around to washing
your mother's car today?
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
I'll do it tomorrow.
You said you'd do it today.
Well, yeah, I did, but
Were those your exact words?
My exact words.
( Knock at door )
Come in.
Mom?
Where's Dad?
Taking a shower.
I had one, too.
Tell him I finished washing the car.
I lived up to my exact words.
I certainly will.
Good night.
Oh, just a minute, Marcia told me
that you were changing chores
with her this week.
Yeah, I was late to ball
practice the other day.
She took out the trash.
I said I'd do her next chore.
Good, hers was tonight.
Tonight?
Tonight.
And tonight has exactly 15 minutes left.
I can't remember which one is Herman.
Now, you're Flash.
No, you're Flash.
I thought you were going to get one frog
not drain the pond dry.
BOBBY: I got to find
Herman, he's my best jumper,
but they all look alike.
Not to another frog, they don't.
Very funny.
Hey, look, why don't you
put them all in a line
and the one that jumps the farthest
has got to be Herman.
Hey, yeah, that's a great idea.
You're a lot smarter than you look.
Hey, come back here.
Come on, help me.
Come on, Peter
Help me put them all down.
That must be Herman.
Yeah, it's going to be
a great concert, Rachel.
I'll pick you up at 7:00.
Right.
Good-bye.
Greg, can we leave at 7:00 tonight?
Can we leave at 7:00?
That will give us plenty of time.
The contest starts at 8:00.
Contest?
Yeah, you know the big
frog-jumping contest.
You said you'd take us.
Sorry, you guys, no way.
What do you mean, no way?
No way. I got a date tonight
with Rachel for the concert.
But you promised.
That was before the concert came up.
You guys better make some other plans.
Did you say you'd take them, Greg?
Well, yes, but that was before I knew
about the concert.
Did you put any conditions
on your promise
like, "unless something else comes up"?
No, he didn't.
No, I didn't, but that's what I meant.
We're not talking about what you meant.
We're talking about
your exact words, remember?
Couldn't you take Peter
and Bobby tonight?
We have a dinner date.
We might be able to change it,
but we're not going to.
Why not?
Because you said you wanted
to live by exact words.
That's great. What am I
going to tell Rachel?
Tell her there's a big
frog-jumping contest.
Rachel, I hate to tell you this,
but I can't take you
to the concert tonight.
Oh, no, why not?
Well, it's kind of a long story,
but I've got to take my brothers
to a frog-jumping contest.
A frog-jumping contest?
There's just no way out, honest.
I can't blame you for being angry.
Well, things can come up.
I understand that.
You mean, you're not sore at me?
After all, I did promise
to take you to the concert.
I know, and I'm sorry about that,
but maybe we can go to a movie
after that frog-jumping contest.
Rachel, you are the greatest, grooviest,
most understanding person
in the whole world.
Does that mean yes or no to a movie?
I'll pick you up at 9:30.
Good-bye.
Bye.
Listen, you guys, I'm in a hurry.
I still have to pick up
Rachel and get to that movie.
Okay. Thanks for taking us, Greg.
Even if my frog came in 35th.
Mine came in 49th.
Our frogs sure bombed out.
Yeah
The frogs we left them in the car!
The frogs!
Greg, wait!
Wait, you got the frogs!
I bet you no one else
ever went to a drive-in movie
with a bunch of frogs.
Sorry I took so long.
There's really a line at that snack bar.
Pizza smells fantastic.
Yeah.
You know, I still feel
bad about that concert.
Maybe some other time.
Sure. But I was really looking
forward to being with you
more than anything else.
Same with me.
The last time we came to a drive-in
I had to bring my kid brother
along, remember?
How could I forget?
What a pest.
Yeah, this time we're alone.
All alone.
( Croaking )
Oh, no!
My brothers' frogs!
Oh, Rachel, I'm sorry. Here.
Popcorn!
We can get him out of here.
It's crawling down behind the
Can you get it?
Oh, that does it!
I don't think we'll be eating this tonight.
( Croaking )
And he was in 34th place, too.
( laughing )
You may have invented
a whole new dish
pepperoni-frog pizza.
You know, the evening would have
been a complete wipe-out
if Rachel hadn't been such a good sport.
Yeah, and none of it would've happened
except for your "exact words."
Say, you suppose
we could forget about that?
That's a deal.
Good night, Dad. Good night.
Good night, Mom. Good night, honey.
Let's get some sleep, honey.
I got to get up early.
Hey, don't I get a good night kiss?
You didn't say anything
about a good night kiss.
Hmm?
No. You just said you
had to get some sleep.
Those were your exact words.
Oh, yeah, but that's not what I meant.
Oh, well, go ahead.
On the other hand
those were my exact words.
Oh, now, Mike, come on, come on.
Give me a kiss.
I'll give you a kiss.