Happy Days (1974) s04e16 Episode Script
Marion Rebels
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
La, la, la, la, la-la-la ♪
.
La, la, la, la, la-la-la ♪
La, la, la, la. ♪
And this is our new edition
to the Galaxy Cosmetics lipstick line.
Oh, look how dark it is!
Oh, Mom, please, can't I order this one?
Joanie, you're a little young for Midnight Passion.
Mmm, but Mom,
this will make me older a lot faster.
Marion, Fonzie left his bike in the driveway again.
There are a whole bunch of cars
parked in front of the house.
I had to park my hi, ladies.
Well, Howard!
What are you doing home so early?
It's 5:30, Marion.
Oh, my goodness, it is!
Oh, please, you don't have to hurry off on my account.
(softly): Get rid of them, will you, Marion?
The time just seemed to have slipped away.
Oh, do you all have to rush off so quickly?
MARION: Good-bye ladies.
Marion, do you realize I've got to make a speech
at the lodge meeting tonight?
I forgot.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I got so involved
But why on the night of the lodge meeting?
I'll start your dinner. (Groans)
PlastoWare sales, rummage garage sales
I am tired of coming home and finding
strange people in my house!
My friends aren't strange.
Marion?
What?
Who's the Creature from the Black Lagoon?
Oh, your mud pack looks good.
That'll tighten up your face.
The girls have left.
You can catch a ride if you'll hurry.
Don't say a word.
I'm tired of finding
these people in my house!
Last week, I came home,
this fat lady grabs me by the throat,
throws me on the couch and sits on me.
She was a policewoman teaching us self defense.
Oh, who cares?
When I come home, I'm, I'm tired.
I want peace and quiet.
I know. You come in,
read the paper and grumble for an hour.
Well, I get cranky from working all day.
Well, I can get cranky, too.
Hi, I'm home.
Who cares?
Will you tell me what's happening to you, Marion?
Let's not fight in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R
They can spell.
They're fighting, Richie.
(arguing continues) I know.
Whenever Mom starts spelling,
they're either having a fight or they're getting frisky.
Oh, Howard, I don't know what's happening.
I'm just I'm so frustrated.
Richard is a senior,
and Joanie is starting high school.
I just don't have enough to do.
Well, that's good, because then you'll have time
to do what you're supposed to do: Take care of me.
I've been doing that for 21 years,
and really, it's not much of a challenge.
I was thinking that maybe I should get a job.
Oh, did you hear? Did you hear?
We heard. We heard.
Oh, here we go again.
You've got a job, Marion.
You give piano lessons.
I teach beginners.
I never studied music seriously.
As soon as they learn "Chopsticks,"
they go to somebody else. Oh, now listen,
we have been over this job business a million times
and we decided that it's out of the question.
You decided!
Same thing.
It's out of the question.
You get a job, and people think I need the money.
No. I'm going up and wash up.
Hi, Dad.
Joanie, when Richie gets home,
tell him to get Fonzie's bike out of the driveway.
(laughs)
I'll tell him.
Hey, quit kidding around.
This is pretty serious.
He seems kind of upset.
Dad, your hat collapsed.
What's the matter with you?
Don't you say "hello" anymore when you come home?
Hi, Dad.
Marion Howard, don't start.
Now, I know we've discussed this before,
and I know you disapprove, but I really feel
that I should get a job.
Don't bother applying at a hat shop.
Howard, why is your fez limp?
I found it in a basket of clean laundry.
Oh, that's why it collapsed.
It must have gotten mixed up in the wash.
Of all the harebrained, irresponsible
Harebrained?!
I've got to be at a meeting in half an hour,
and I don't have any dinner, and I've got a limp fez!
"Marion do this, Marion do that."
You want your dinner?
I'll get your dinner. You've got it.
I'll get your dinner. I've done it a thousand times.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Here is your salad,
your vegetable, your meat!
Live it up!
All right, a little more to the left.
A little more to the left.
Oh, no, now, slide it to the right.
Slide it to the right.
Oh, have you got talent.
(knocking) Arthur?
Oh, it's chilly.
Would you mind if I just warmed up a little bit?
Hey, be my guest.
My place is your place, especially since you own it.
(laughs, cries)
Oh, hey.
Hey, Mrs. C.,
cool the waterworks.
I mean, you locked yourself out again, it's all right,
but you don't got to cry about that.
Howard's mad, no dinner, limp fez
He thinks I'm a slave.
Oh, Mrs. C., huh?
That's terrible.
(sniffs)
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm leaving, I-I thought you were alone.
This is, uh, Lorraine. Hi.
Oh, hello.
I usually don't cry in front of people
until I know them.
Oh
Don't you dare apologize.
It's all right, and I want to tell you something.
You know I like Mr. C., but he don't have the right
to think that you're his slave.
That's beautiful.
Thanks a lot, right here.
I'm a little tense right here.
I'm thinking of getting a job.
That's a wonderful idea.
There are a lot of opportunities out there for you.
You went to college.
Well, that was 20 years ago.
I majored in archaeology.
Milwaukee doesn't have a lot of ruins.
Yeah, a little higher on the shoulders.
I look in the want ads.
They don't care about college.
All they care about is can you type.
There are a lot of jobs out there for you.
You think so?
I know so. Really?
Who knows more about women than the Fonz?
Nobody. Aaayyh.
You're right.
There are a lot of jobs other than typing.
Could Amelia Earhart type?
Or Margaret Truman?
Or Betty Crocker?
Or Gypsy Rose Lee?
Mrs. C
Well, you know what I mean.
Oh, you've given me new hope, Arthur.
Hey, that's what I'm here for.
Thank you, Arthur. All right.
You know, I didn't want to pop her bubble,
but Betty Crocker was a heck of a typist.
I can't figure out what happened.
Rich, I'm going crazy.
Look, just tell Brenda
to tell her sister to go out with me again.
I don't think she wants to, Malph.
I don't understand.
So we ran out of gas.
But right in front of the Cloud Nine Motel?
(laughs)
Obvious, Malph, very obvious.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Richie, I got to talk to you.
Not now. Look at this table.
Yeah, let's get our waitress over here. Richie!
Waitress, waitress, come on, we're starving here.
Yeah, let's get our waitress, please.
(boys clamoring)
Hi, kids, you want to order?
Mom!
Brenda has to go, I'll see you later.
I mean, I'm staying.
She has to go, but I'm staying
Will you just order me something?
Okay, okay. Yeah.
Let's see, let me order something here.
Marion, you know, you're doing just great!
But could you do it a little faster?
The food's stacking up on the counter.
Oh, certainly.
I'll-I'll be right back to get your order.
Oh, it's so busy here.
I just love it!
I have to talk to my mother.
I'll see you tomorrow in class.
Oh, Brenda, Mom's looking at you.
Cave in a little bit.
Has anybody else spotted Mom?
Everybody! (Sighs)
Hardware business that bad?
No, business has been great.
Kids are always the last to know.
Okay, Rich, come on, give.
Now, how come your Mom's a waitress?
Folks have a fight?
You told them?
A fight? Really?
Did they throw things?
No, it was just a little argument.
All parents have arguments.
Yeah, well, this must have been a doozy.
Your mother went out and got a job.
Howie wouldn't spring for the alimony.
Boy, is Howie a cheapo.
All right, all right cut it out.
I'm going to settle this once and for all.
Mom?
Yes, dear?
I mean, uh, waitress, miss
Oh, are you ready to order?
We'll order in a minute.
Mom, does Dad know you're doing this?
Well, I thought I would wear my uniform home tonight
and see if he notices.
He'll notice.
Look, I know you want to work,
but what are you doing here?
I was turned down 40 times.
This is the only job I was qualified for.
I'll tell you all about it later.
We're so busy.
Would you like to order?
Now, some milk?
Oh, no, no, no, we'll take the usual.
Uh, cheeseburgers, large order of fries,
chocolate malts, right, Rich?
Oh, Richard, Joanie,
Tonight I'm fixing steak and potatoes,
and your favorite dessert: A big bowl of raisins.
A big bowl of raisins? A big bowl of raisins?
All right, all right, so I like raisins for dessert.
Do you have to tell the whole world?
All this eating in between meals Mom.
Uh, I think we'd better sit over there, Rich.
It's a little crowded here. Yeah.
And, Richard, dear, I'm surprised at you.
Coming right before dinner and filling up on garbage.
Garbage?
Just a figure of speech.
That's a word we don't use in the restaurant business.
You're supposed to sell the food,
not talk them out of it.
And, Al, this menu is a disgrace.
There's nothing wrong with the menu.
It's got a little grease spot on it, ketchup,
but the kids can still read it.
No, the selections of fried foods
and these greasy things.
Do you know what this does
to Joanie's complexion?
I think I'll disappear.
Al, if you just provided a balanced diet
for these children Marion, you're
doing just fine.
(Francis Connie's "Who's Sorry Now" playing on jukebox)
Who's sorry now? ♪
Hey, Cunningham, you ever meet Lorraine?
I don't have time right now, Fonz.
Whoa! RICHIE: Oh.
Sorry. It's very nice meeting you.
I got a real problem.
Yeah? What is it?
My mom is working as a waitress.
Hey, that's fabulous. Where?
Here at Arnold's.
Isn't that great?
Here at Arnold's.
All this and tips, too.
You know, it's not so cool, Fonz. Huh?
It's really going to cramp my style.
What style?
Arthur, Lorraine.
Mrs. C., you look wonderful in that outfit.
Would you like to order?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
He likes vegetables and milk.
What would you like, Lorraine?
I'll have a large cheeseburger with everything on it
and a chocolate malt.
Arthur?
Yeah, I'll have the same
with a side order of relish.
Oh, me.
Arthur, that's not good for you.
You're getting those little ringies under
your eyes again.
What are you talking about?
You know, bags.
Mrs. C.
That's what you get, dating three girls last night.
You're all worn out.
Uh, Mrs. C
Uh, three dates?
Fonzie, I thought we were going steady this week.
Hey, Lorraine, we are.
What are you talking about?
You're my heart.
Oh, if he says you are, you are.
Uh, two of those girls were mechanics.
I don't know what the other one was.
I thought I was something special, Fonzie.
Lorraine, you're special.
I'll see you in the parking lot, right?
Hey, you're so cute.
You know, you're great, Mrs. C.
Listen up! There's a meeting in my office right now!
RICHIE: Al, you better come, too.
AL: Is something wrong with the pipes?
Will I need my plunger? POTSIE: There's just one thing.
I don't care if she is your mother. I'm not tipping.
That's terrible! That's terrible.
How is she going to support two kids if nobody tips?
Ralph, for the last time, my parents are not splitting up.
I don't believe you. I know they are.
How can you say that when you're not even
living in the house?
All right, hold it! Put a lid on it.
Now, listen, we got a little problem here.
I'm sure that we can all solve it.
Yeah. I think
that if you want to solve this problem, I
I've always wondered what it looked like in here.
It's a lot bigger than I thought.
I think I'll just wait outside.
She goes everywhere.
Yeah. Hey, Al, why did you hire Richie's mom?
She answered my ad,
and I figured she needed the money.
All right, all right, everybody listen to this.
My parents have plenty of money.
Well, then, it has to be divorce.
(all talking)
Hold it!!
Now, look, it is very cool that Mrs. C. Wants a job.
It is just not very cool that she is working here.
Now one of us has got to ask her to leave.
AL: Oh, I can't do that.
She wouldn't like me.
I'm not good at firing people.
I'm good at hiring people,
but you can't be good at everything.
I guess it's up to you, Cunningham.
Oh, you got to be kidding.
She's my mother.
Fonz, look, it's your idea. You do it.
I'm sorry. I like Mrs. C. Much too much.
I can't.
And I don't like my mother?
How am I going to fire my mother?
No big deal.
My father fired me three times.
I can't fire her, Fonz.
She's going to get upset,
she's going to cry, and carry on, and I
All right, Richie, Richie, you don't have to fire her.
Just make it so that she wants to quit.
Yeah, there you go, Rich.
It's simple.
Meeting is over.
It's not simple. I can't do it, guys. You
What?
"You've been in there a long time, Richard.
"Is everything all right?
Love, Mom."
I got to do this!
Hey.
That must be a huge restroom.
(clears throat)
Hey, Mom, you must be exhausted.
Why don't you sit down and take a little break?
Oh, well, it has really been a busy day.
Oh, you think this is busy?
Oh, this is nothing.
You should see this place after a football game.
It's absolutely packed, everybody's screaming,
pounding on the tables for service.
"Give me a hot dog."
"Give me a hamburger."
Oh, will you look at that?
Somebody took the top off the sugar
just to drive you crazy.
It's terrible, and it's even worse if we win the game.
Oh, it sounds like such fun. Fun?
Just like when I was a kid.
Mom
We used to do the most awful
Mom, you know, there are better jobs.
I know, but I like this job.
It's so much fun, and I get to
see you and Joanie so much more,
to share in your lives.
Oh, right.
Well, excuse me.
We'll share some more in a minute.
Fonz, we're in deep trouble.
It's not working.
What do you mean, it's not working?
She says she likes it here.
She likes to share my life.
All right, all right, you got to let her know
that her being here makes you uncomfortable.
You know, kind of cramps your style?
Oh, I can't say that to my mother.
You're an honor student.
You'll find other words. Go.
All right. Okay, Fonz. Yeah.
MARION: Well, no, I'm sorry.
I'm just not going to order it for you.
It's for your own good.
Uh, excuse me.
Mom, I have to share something with you.
Well, I haven't got all day.
I am a working girl, you know.
Yeah, right. You know, Mom,
uh, different generations have a different way
of-of communicating.
So true.
And, uh and-and when a member
of, say, uh, the younger generation wants to communicate
with a member of the opposite sex,
well, it's a little difficult if a member of, uh,
say, your generation, is there at the same time.
Are you trying to tell me that I'm cramping your style?
Yeah, I suppose you could say it that way.
Well, that's silly.
Just do whatever you normally do.
Well, I'm trying to, Mom.
Arnold's is kind of a hangout.
That's true.
Everybody comes here after school, and Such fun.
And there's girls here. Well, that's true.
Mom? Yes, dear?
You're fired.
Richard, I don't have time to joke.
I am very busy.
I'm not joking now, Mom.
Al is the only one who can fire me.
Well, I was elected,
because Al is no good at firing.
You're not You're not real upset, are you?
Well, of course not.
It's no big thing.
Excuse me, dear.
I'll just, uh, finish my shift.
I don't like to leave things undone.
Hey, Al?
Now, you see how simple that was?
(Marion sobbing)
(dishes clattering)
Now it gets complicated.
La-la, la-la, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la. ♪
Ah. No more business.
You can take off any time now.
I'll pay you for the full eight-hour shift.
I said I'd work until closing time.
It's not closing time, so get back in the kitchen.
Nobody listens to me.
I didn't do it.
(sighs)
The grill closes in five minutes,
so if you want to order, you better hurry.
I didn't come here to eat.
Well, I'm on duty, so if you want to dance,
you'll have to dance by yourself.
Why are you doing this, Marion?
Because kids use a lot of napkins.
Look, I know we had a fight yesterday,
but I never thought it would end up like this.
I mean, we have lots of fights, but we always make up.
Well, this fight was different.
It was because I was bored,
and I just had to do something, Howard.
But why this? Why here?
I have no other choice.
I went to an employment agency,
and do you know what they offered me?
Walking a dog,
sample lady in a supermarket,
or this.
I can't type, Howard.
I've always told you, Marion,
it's a rough world.
Today I was fired by my own son.
HOWARD: He told me.
Well, guess I'll go back to cooking and cleaning.
I'm a failure as a person.
Oh, come on, now.
You've never been a failure.
You've been a wonderful mother and a beautiful wife,
and I was a fool not to listen to you and try and help.
Thank you, Howard.
But it doesn't matter.
I've just failed at the only job I could get.
Well, you never wanted to be a waitress anyhow.
No, I want to teach music.
Well, what's to stop you
from getting your teaching certificate?
Well, I'd have to go back to school.
What's wrong with that?
But, Howard,
then I wouldn't have time to take care of you.
Oh.
Well, I can see it's important to you now.
You think you might find the time to make some pot roast?
Every Sunday.
With the little teeny potatoes?
Yes. Yes.
And you know something, Howard? Mm.
I'm going to figure out a way
to straighten your leopard fez.
Come on, let's go home.
Oh, I can't.
I've still got three minutes before quitting time.
Well, okay, let's dance.
I hope I can find a slow one.
It's late.
Oh, Howard, this is on me.
Oh.
My tips.
Thank you, Marion.
Honey, this is a slug.
Which one of the kids gave you this?
All of them.
Mona Lisa ♪
Mona Lisa, men have named you ♪
You're so like the lady with the mystic smile ♪
Is it only ♪
Hi, sweetheart.
How did it go at music school this morning, huh?
I'm all registered, I start in two weeks.
Ah.
Howard, what are you doing home this time of day?
Well, is there anything wrong with a man coming home
to his beautiful wife for lunch or whatever, hmm?
Howard, are you getting frisky?
Hi, Mom.
Joanie and I thought we'd come home for lunch
so we could spend a little more time with you.
How nice.
Dad, what are you doing here?
I live here.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, we can all have lunch together.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Joanie help me fix lunch, okay?
Come on. Let's go.
I guess this is no time
to get F-R-I-S-K-Y.
They're spelling again, Richie.
Yeah, but this time it's not a fight.
Here, let's get out of here.
Okay.
Mom, Dad, Joanie and I are going back to school. See you.
They're getting older.
Mm. And wiser.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
(organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps)
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
! ♪
La, la, la, la, la-la-la ♪
.
La, la, la, la, la-la-la ♪
La, la, la, la. ♪
And this is our new edition
to the Galaxy Cosmetics lipstick line.
Oh, look how dark it is!
Oh, Mom, please, can't I order this one?
Joanie, you're a little young for Midnight Passion.
Mmm, but Mom,
this will make me older a lot faster.
Marion, Fonzie left his bike in the driveway again.
There are a whole bunch of cars
parked in front of the house.
I had to park my hi, ladies.
Well, Howard!
What are you doing home so early?
It's 5:30, Marion.
Oh, my goodness, it is!
Oh, please, you don't have to hurry off on my account.
(softly): Get rid of them, will you, Marion?
The time just seemed to have slipped away.
Oh, do you all have to rush off so quickly?
MARION: Good-bye ladies.
Marion, do you realize I've got to make a speech
at the lodge meeting tonight?
I forgot.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I got so involved
But why on the night of the lodge meeting?
I'll start your dinner. (Groans)
PlastoWare sales, rummage garage sales
I am tired of coming home and finding
strange people in my house!
My friends aren't strange.
Marion?
What?
Who's the Creature from the Black Lagoon?
Oh, your mud pack looks good.
That'll tighten up your face.
The girls have left.
You can catch a ride if you'll hurry.
Don't say a word.
I'm tired of finding
these people in my house!
Last week, I came home,
this fat lady grabs me by the throat,
throws me on the couch and sits on me.
She was a policewoman teaching us self defense.
Oh, who cares?
When I come home, I'm, I'm tired.
I want peace and quiet.
I know. You come in,
read the paper and grumble for an hour.
Well, I get cranky from working all day.
Well, I can get cranky, too.
Hi, I'm home.
Who cares?
Will you tell me what's happening to you, Marion?
Let's not fight in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R
They can spell.
They're fighting, Richie.
(arguing continues) I know.
Whenever Mom starts spelling,
they're either having a fight or they're getting frisky.
Oh, Howard, I don't know what's happening.
I'm just I'm so frustrated.
Richard is a senior,
and Joanie is starting high school.
I just don't have enough to do.
Well, that's good, because then you'll have time
to do what you're supposed to do: Take care of me.
I've been doing that for 21 years,
and really, it's not much of a challenge.
I was thinking that maybe I should get a job.
Oh, did you hear? Did you hear?
We heard. We heard.
Oh, here we go again.
You've got a job, Marion.
You give piano lessons.
I teach beginners.
I never studied music seriously.
As soon as they learn "Chopsticks,"
they go to somebody else. Oh, now listen,
we have been over this job business a million times
and we decided that it's out of the question.
You decided!
Same thing.
It's out of the question.
You get a job, and people think I need the money.
No. I'm going up and wash up.
Hi, Dad.
Joanie, when Richie gets home,
tell him to get Fonzie's bike out of the driveway.
(laughs)
I'll tell him.
Hey, quit kidding around.
This is pretty serious.
He seems kind of upset.
Dad, your hat collapsed.
What's the matter with you?
Don't you say "hello" anymore when you come home?
Hi, Dad.
Marion Howard, don't start.
Now, I know we've discussed this before,
and I know you disapprove, but I really feel
that I should get a job.
Don't bother applying at a hat shop.
Howard, why is your fez limp?
I found it in a basket of clean laundry.
Oh, that's why it collapsed.
It must have gotten mixed up in the wash.
Of all the harebrained, irresponsible
Harebrained?!
I've got to be at a meeting in half an hour,
and I don't have any dinner, and I've got a limp fez!
"Marion do this, Marion do that."
You want your dinner?
I'll get your dinner. You've got it.
I'll get your dinner. I've done it a thousand times.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Here is your salad,
your vegetable, your meat!
Live it up!
All right, a little more to the left.
A little more to the left.
Oh, no, now, slide it to the right.
Slide it to the right.
Oh, have you got talent.
(knocking) Arthur?
Oh, it's chilly.
Would you mind if I just warmed up a little bit?
Hey, be my guest.
My place is your place, especially since you own it.
(laughs, cries)
Oh, hey.
Hey, Mrs. C.,
cool the waterworks.
I mean, you locked yourself out again, it's all right,
but you don't got to cry about that.
Howard's mad, no dinner, limp fez
He thinks I'm a slave.
Oh, Mrs. C., huh?
That's terrible.
(sniffs)
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm leaving, I-I thought you were alone.
This is, uh, Lorraine. Hi.
Oh, hello.
I usually don't cry in front of people
until I know them.
Oh
Don't you dare apologize.
It's all right, and I want to tell you something.
You know I like Mr. C., but he don't have the right
to think that you're his slave.
That's beautiful.
Thanks a lot, right here.
I'm a little tense right here.
I'm thinking of getting a job.
That's a wonderful idea.
There are a lot of opportunities out there for you.
You went to college.
Well, that was 20 years ago.
I majored in archaeology.
Milwaukee doesn't have a lot of ruins.
Yeah, a little higher on the shoulders.
I look in the want ads.
They don't care about college.
All they care about is can you type.
There are a lot of jobs out there for you.
You think so?
I know so. Really?
Who knows more about women than the Fonz?
Nobody. Aaayyh.
You're right.
There are a lot of jobs other than typing.
Could Amelia Earhart type?
Or Margaret Truman?
Or Betty Crocker?
Or Gypsy Rose Lee?
Mrs. C
Well, you know what I mean.
Oh, you've given me new hope, Arthur.
Hey, that's what I'm here for.
Thank you, Arthur. All right.
You know, I didn't want to pop her bubble,
but Betty Crocker was a heck of a typist.
I can't figure out what happened.
Rich, I'm going crazy.
Look, just tell Brenda
to tell her sister to go out with me again.
I don't think she wants to, Malph.
I don't understand.
So we ran out of gas.
But right in front of the Cloud Nine Motel?
(laughs)
Obvious, Malph, very obvious.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Richie, I got to talk to you.
Not now. Look at this table.
Yeah, let's get our waitress over here. Richie!
Waitress, waitress, come on, we're starving here.
Yeah, let's get our waitress, please.
(boys clamoring)
Hi, kids, you want to order?
Mom!
Brenda has to go, I'll see you later.
I mean, I'm staying.
She has to go, but I'm staying
Will you just order me something?
Okay, okay. Yeah.
Let's see, let me order something here.
Marion, you know, you're doing just great!
But could you do it a little faster?
The food's stacking up on the counter.
Oh, certainly.
I'll-I'll be right back to get your order.
Oh, it's so busy here.
I just love it!
I have to talk to my mother.
I'll see you tomorrow in class.
Oh, Brenda, Mom's looking at you.
Cave in a little bit.
Has anybody else spotted Mom?
Everybody! (Sighs)
Hardware business that bad?
No, business has been great.
Kids are always the last to know.
Okay, Rich, come on, give.
Now, how come your Mom's a waitress?
Folks have a fight?
You told them?
A fight? Really?
Did they throw things?
No, it was just a little argument.
All parents have arguments.
Yeah, well, this must have been a doozy.
Your mother went out and got a job.
Howie wouldn't spring for the alimony.
Boy, is Howie a cheapo.
All right, all right cut it out.
I'm going to settle this once and for all.
Mom?
Yes, dear?
I mean, uh, waitress, miss
Oh, are you ready to order?
We'll order in a minute.
Mom, does Dad know you're doing this?
Well, I thought I would wear my uniform home tonight
and see if he notices.
He'll notice.
Look, I know you want to work,
but what are you doing here?
I was turned down 40 times.
This is the only job I was qualified for.
I'll tell you all about it later.
We're so busy.
Would you like to order?
Now, some milk?
Oh, no, no, no, we'll take the usual.
Uh, cheeseburgers, large order of fries,
chocolate malts, right, Rich?
Oh, Richard, Joanie,
Tonight I'm fixing steak and potatoes,
and your favorite dessert: A big bowl of raisins.
A big bowl of raisins? A big bowl of raisins?
All right, all right, so I like raisins for dessert.
Do you have to tell the whole world?
All this eating in between meals Mom.
Uh, I think we'd better sit over there, Rich.
It's a little crowded here. Yeah.
And, Richard, dear, I'm surprised at you.
Coming right before dinner and filling up on garbage.
Garbage?
Just a figure of speech.
That's a word we don't use in the restaurant business.
You're supposed to sell the food,
not talk them out of it.
And, Al, this menu is a disgrace.
There's nothing wrong with the menu.
It's got a little grease spot on it, ketchup,
but the kids can still read it.
No, the selections of fried foods
and these greasy things.
Do you know what this does
to Joanie's complexion?
I think I'll disappear.
Al, if you just provided a balanced diet
for these children Marion, you're
doing just fine.
(Francis Connie's "Who's Sorry Now" playing on jukebox)
Who's sorry now? ♪
Hey, Cunningham, you ever meet Lorraine?
I don't have time right now, Fonz.
Whoa! RICHIE: Oh.
Sorry. It's very nice meeting you.
I got a real problem.
Yeah? What is it?
My mom is working as a waitress.
Hey, that's fabulous. Where?
Here at Arnold's.
Isn't that great?
Here at Arnold's.
All this and tips, too.
You know, it's not so cool, Fonz. Huh?
It's really going to cramp my style.
What style?
Arthur, Lorraine.
Mrs. C., you look wonderful in that outfit.
Would you like to order?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
He likes vegetables and milk.
What would you like, Lorraine?
I'll have a large cheeseburger with everything on it
and a chocolate malt.
Arthur?
Yeah, I'll have the same
with a side order of relish.
Oh, me.
Arthur, that's not good for you.
You're getting those little ringies under
your eyes again.
What are you talking about?
You know, bags.
Mrs. C.
That's what you get, dating three girls last night.
You're all worn out.
Uh, Mrs. C
Uh, three dates?
Fonzie, I thought we were going steady this week.
Hey, Lorraine, we are.
What are you talking about?
You're my heart.
Oh, if he says you are, you are.
Uh, two of those girls were mechanics.
I don't know what the other one was.
I thought I was something special, Fonzie.
Lorraine, you're special.
I'll see you in the parking lot, right?
Hey, you're so cute.
You know, you're great, Mrs. C.
Listen up! There's a meeting in my office right now!
RICHIE: Al, you better come, too.
AL: Is something wrong with the pipes?
Will I need my plunger? POTSIE: There's just one thing.
I don't care if she is your mother. I'm not tipping.
That's terrible! That's terrible.
How is she going to support two kids if nobody tips?
Ralph, for the last time, my parents are not splitting up.
I don't believe you. I know they are.
How can you say that when you're not even
living in the house?
All right, hold it! Put a lid on it.
Now, listen, we got a little problem here.
I'm sure that we can all solve it.
Yeah. I think
that if you want to solve this problem, I
I've always wondered what it looked like in here.
It's a lot bigger than I thought.
I think I'll just wait outside.
She goes everywhere.
Yeah. Hey, Al, why did you hire Richie's mom?
She answered my ad,
and I figured she needed the money.
All right, all right, everybody listen to this.
My parents have plenty of money.
Well, then, it has to be divorce.
(all talking)
Hold it!!
Now, look, it is very cool that Mrs. C. Wants a job.
It is just not very cool that she is working here.
Now one of us has got to ask her to leave.
AL: Oh, I can't do that.
She wouldn't like me.
I'm not good at firing people.
I'm good at hiring people,
but you can't be good at everything.
I guess it's up to you, Cunningham.
Oh, you got to be kidding.
She's my mother.
Fonz, look, it's your idea. You do it.
I'm sorry. I like Mrs. C. Much too much.
I can't.
And I don't like my mother?
How am I going to fire my mother?
No big deal.
My father fired me three times.
I can't fire her, Fonz.
She's going to get upset,
she's going to cry, and carry on, and I
All right, Richie, Richie, you don't have to fire her.
Just make it so that she wants to quit.
Yeah, there you go, Rich.
It's simple.
Meeting is over.
It's not simple. I can't do it, guys. You
What?
"You've been in there a long time, Richard.
"Is everything all right?
Love, Mom."
I got to do this!
Hey.
That must be a huge restroom.
(clears throat)
Hey, Mom, you must be exhausted.
Why don't you sit down and take a little break?
Oh, well, it has really been a busy day.
Oh, you think this is busy?
Oh, this is nothing.
You should see this place after a football game.
It's absolutely packed, everybody's screaming,
pounding on the tables for service.
"Give me a hot dog."
"Give me a hamburger."
Oh, will you look at that?
Somebody took the top off the sugar
just to drive you crazy.
It's terrible, and it's even worse if we win the game.
Oh, it sounds like such fun. Fun?
Just like when I was a kid.
Mom
We used to do the most awful
Mom, you know, there are better jobs.
I know, but I like this job.
It's so much fun, and I get to
see you and Joanie so much more,
to share in your lives.
Oh, right.
Well, excuse me.
We'll share some more in a minute.
Fonz, we're in deep trouble.
It's not working.
What do you mean, it's not working?
She says she likes it here.
She likes to share my life.
All right, all right, you got to let her know
that her being here makes you uncomfortable.
You know, kind of cramps your style?
Oh, I can't say that to my mother.
You're an honor student.
You'll find other words. Go.
All right. Okay, Fonz. Yeah.
MARION: Well, no, I'm sorry.
I'm just not going to order it for you.
It's for your own good.
Uh, excuse me.
Mom, I have to share something with you.
Well, I haven't got all day.
I am a working girl, you know.
Yeah, right. You know, Mom,
uh, different generations have a different way
of-of communicating.
So true.
And, uh and-and when a member
of, say, uh, the younger generation wants to communicate
with a member of the opposite sex,
well, it's a little difficult if a member of, uh,
say, your generation, is there at the same time.
Are you trying to tell me that I'm cramping your style?
Yeah, I suppose you could say it that way.
Well, that's silly.
Just do whatever you normally do.
Well, I'm trying to, Mom.
Arnold's is kind of a hangout.
That's true.
Everybody comes here after school, and Such fun.
And there's girls here. Well, that's true.
Mom? Yes, dear?
You're fired.
Richard, I don't have time to joke.
I am very busy.
I'm not joking now, Mom.
Al is the only one who can fire me.
Well, I was elected,
because Al is no good at firing.
You're not You're not real upset, are you?
Well, of course not.
It's no big thing.
Excuse me, dear.
I'll just, uh, finish my shift.
I don't like to leave things undone.
Hey, Al?
Now, you see how simple that was?
(Marion sobbing)
(dishes clattering)
Now it gets complicated.
La-la, la-la, la, la, la ♪
La, la, la. ♪
Ah. No more business.
You can take off any time now.
I'll pay you for the full eight-hour shift.
I said I'd work until closing time.
It's not closing time, so get back in the kitchen.
Nobody listens to me.
I didn't do it.
(sighs)
The grill closes in five minutes,
so if you want to order, you better hurry.
I didn't come here to eat.
Well, I'm on duty, so if you want to dance,
you'll have to dance by yourself.
Why are you doing this, Marion?
Because kids use a lot of napkins.
Look, I know we had a fight yesterday,
but I never thought it would end up like this.
I mean, we have lots of fights, but we always make up.
Well, this fight was different.
It was because I was bored,
and I just had to do something, Howard.
But why this? Why here?
I have no other choice.
I went to an employment agency,
and do you know what they offered me?
Walking a dog,
sample lady in a supermarket,
or this.
I can't type, Howard.
I've always told you, Marion,
it's a rough world.
Today I was fired by my own son.
HOWARD: He told me.
Well, guess I'll go back to cooking and cleaning.
I'm a failure as a person.
Oh, come on, now.
You've never been a failure.
You've been a wonderful mother and a beautiful wife,
and I was a fool not to listen to you and try and help.
Thank you, Howard.
But it doesn't matter.
I've just failed at the only job I could get.
Well, you never wanted to be a waitress anyhow.
No, I want to teach music.
Well, what's to stop you
from getting your teaching certificate?
Well, I'd have to go back to school.
What's wrong with that?
But, Howard,
then I wouldn't have time to take care of you.
Oh.
Well, I can see it's important to you now.
You think you might find the time to make some pot roast?
Every Sunday.
With the little teeny potatoes?
Yes. Yes.
And you know something, Howard? Mm.
I'm going to figure out a way
to straighten your leopard fez.
Come on, let's go home.
Oh, I can't.
I've still got three minutes before quitting time.
Well, okay, let's dance.
I hope I can find a slow one.
It's late.
Oh, Howard, this is on me.
Oh.
My tips.
Thank you, Marion.
Honey, this is a slug.
Which one of the kids gave you this?
All of them.
Mona Lisa ♪
Mona Lisa, men have named you ♪
You're so like the lady with the mystic smile ♪
Is it only ♪
Hi, sweetheart.
How did it go at music school this morning, huh?
I'm all registered, I start in two weeks.
Ah.
Howard, what are you doing home this time of day?
Well, is there anything wrong with a man coming home
to his beautiful wife for lunch or whatever, hmm?
Howard, are you getting frisky?
Hi, Mom.
Joanie and I thought we'd come home for lunch
so we could spend a little more time with you.
How nice.
Dad, what are you doing here?
I live here.
Hi, Dad.
Hey, we can all have lunch together.
Yeah, that's a great idea.
Joanie help me fix lunch, okay?
Come on. Let's go.
I guess this is no time
to get F-R-I-S-K-Y.
They're spelling again, Richie.
Yeah, but this time it's not a fight.
Here, let's get out of here.
Okay.
Mom, Dad, Joanie and I are going back to school. See you.
They're getting older.
Mm. And wiser.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
These days are ours ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
! ♪