The Brady Bunch (1969) s04e16 Episode Script
Amateur Nite
1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
Much more than a hunch
That this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all
Became the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
The Brady Bunch.
Good afternoon, young lady.
May I help you?
Yes. We were in here last week
and we ordered an anniversary gift
for our parents a silver platter.
Silver platter Oh,
yes, the Brady children.
And I came in the next day
and ordered the engraving.
Oh, of course.
You're Jan Brady.
Right. Is it ready?
It just came in this morning.
I'll get it for you.
I'm sure you'll find it
exactly the way you ordered it.
Oh, that's beautiful.
"Mom and Dad, happy anniversary.
All our love, Greg, Marcia,
Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy."
I'm glad you were able to get
all our names on it.
It wasn't easy.
One more brother or sister
and we'd have had to
continue on the back.
( laughing )
I'll get your bill.
Oh, but we've already paid for the platter.
I've got the receipt right here.
This bill is for the engraving.
Remember? I told you
there'd be an extra charge.
Oh, yes, you did. Here's the money.
Okay, here's 50, 60, 70, 85 cents.
This bill is for $56.23.
Well, you said the engraving
was only going to be 85 cents.
85 cents a letter.
Don't you remember?
I guess I wasn't listening very well.
What am I going to do?
I don't have the money
and my parents' anniversary
is next Saturday.
Well, that's still a week away.
Perhaps you can raise
the money by then.
It took us six months
to save up for the platter.
Well, I really don't know
what to do about this.
I don't either, but, until then,
can you hold onto the platter for me?
What else can I do?
Unless I find another couple
who has an anniversary
and six kids named
Greg, Marcia, Peter,
Jan, Bobby and Cindy.
I'm really very sorry.
Not half as sorry as I am.
This whole thing is my fault.
Jan, how could you be so stupid?
Don't you know the difference
between 85 cents a letter
and 85 cents for the whole inscription?
Yeah $56.23.
Nobody told you to order
the engraving in the first place.
I know.
I thought it would look nicer that way.
I wanted to surprise everybody.
Well, you sure did.
Now we won't have a gift
for Saturday for Mom
and Dad's anniversary.
Yeah, but we still have a week
to raise the money.
How? We can't ask
Mom and Dad for a loan.
And who else around here has money?
Except Maybe Alice?
Sure, Alice.
She's always talking about
saving up for a rainy day.
And we're right in the middle
of the hurricane season.
Come on.
What a time
for your picture tube to blow.
( Organ playing on TV )
Now, what she doesn't know
is that Albert is falling
in love with his woman doctor,
who has to support an invalid mother
who just got evicted
from her apartment
And poor Tommy.
He's got to have his tonsils out
and Simon, that's Tommy's
mother's brother-in-law,
won't lend him
the money for the operation.
That cheapskate. What's
a measly hundred dollars?
Oh, Kay, that reminds me.
I had to buy an anniversary
present for the Bradys
and my insurance premium came due.
Yeah, well, payday isn't for two weeks.
I was wondering,
could you lend me a few dollars till then?
Shoot. We need to raise money,
but I guess we can forget about Alice.
Yeah, let's get out of here
before she asks us for a loan.
Couldn't that wait till next week?
I see.
No, no. If it has
to be that way, I understand.
Yeah.
Thanks, Mr. Phillips.
Bye-bye.
Honey, about that honeymoon cottage
you remember the leaky roof
and the lumpy mattress
and the mosquitoes yelling
"Banzai" all night long?
We can't leave on Thursday.
That's right. I have to appear
before the planning commission
on that design for the courthouse.
Honey, I've got a great idea.
What?
For the first time in our marriage,
why don't we have
an anniversary dinner in town
like we always do.
Okay. Listen, I'm hungry.
Yeah. Come on.
Dinner's just about ready.
Dad can I talk to you
about something real important?
Why, sure. Step into my office here.
I hope you don't mind
if my secretary stays around.
She's very reliable.
It's okay. She can listen. Thank you.
Okay, what can I do for you?
Well, what do you do
when a person needs
an awful lot of money real fast?
Well, that depends what
you mean by a lot
a million dollars, thousand 25 cents.
Kind of in between.
Well, we could give you
an advance on your allowance.
Uh, no. We-we didn't say it was for us.
I mean, we know these people
um, who need an awful lot of money.
Fast.
Well, people who need money
usually make a loan from the bank.
Just like that? You get a loan?
Well, sure. That's why
they have loan departments.
Of course, when you borrow money
you have to pay it back, you know.
In fact, you have to pay
back more than you borrowed
because the bank adds on interest.
Can't you borrow extra
so you can pay the interest?
( laughs ): I'm with her.
Thanks, Dad. You've been a lot of help.
Yeah. Oh, well, anytime.
I wonder what they're up to.
Well, the anniversary's coming up.
Maybe they're thinking of a gift?
Yeah, but such high finance?
Borrowing money from a bank?
Maybe they're planning
on paying off the mortgage.
( laughing )
MAN: Yes, and thank you
for calling us in particular, Mrs. Whitfield.
Mm-hmm. Oh, we checked everything.
Yes, your credit, assets, collateral
and regarding your application,
we can loan you $100,000
at eight percent.
Did you hear that?
$100,000 this must be a rich bank.
And friendly, too.
Good-bye, now.
I'm Mr. Goodbody, children.
What can I do for you?
We want to borrow some money
from your rich, friendly bank.
GOODBODY: Oh? Just until Saturday.
And then you'll, uh, pay it back?
No. First we have to pay
the man at the department store.
You see, Cindy and I and
all our brothers and sisters
bought a silver platter
for our mom and dad.
CINDY: And on account
of Jan being stupid,
we owe the department store $56.23.
Including tax.
Uh, I see.
That's why we want
to borrow some money.
Well, when you
take out a loan at a bank,
somebody has to sign for it.
You do it, Cindy.
She got an "A" in penmanship.
Oh, she did?
Then we also have
what we call a cosigner.
Uh, that's another person
who'll be responsible for the loan
in case the signer can't repay it.
That's okay. I'll be the cosigner.
He's very responsible.
Oh, I'm sure.
And then we'll need some collateral.
What's that?
Well, that's something of
real value, you know,
like, uh, jewelry, uh,
real estate, stocks and bonds.
If we had all that stuff,
we wouldn't need the loan.
( Nervous chuckle )
Yes. Well, I'd certainly like
to help you children,
but I'm sure that a loan
isn't possible for you
because of your age.
However, you're two
very charming young people,
and you deserve something
for coming down here.
Here.
Now, if you put all your coins in here,
I'm sure that you'll save enough of them
so that you won't need a loan
and I'm going to start you out
with a dime each.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Uh Mr. Goodbody?
Mm-hmm?
Instead of $56.23,
do you think you could
get us a smaller loan?
A smaller loan?
Yeah, like $56.03.
( laughing )
Greg, did you find any of
the guys who owe you money?
Yeah. Harvey.
He's the one who owes me five bucks.
Well, did he pay you?
Oh, great.
Marcia, how did you do with the watch?
No sale.
Well, what happened?
I thought you said
that Penny was crazy about the watch.
She was, until I told her it was $10.
Then she said I was crazy.
Jan, what have you been doing?
I went down to TV station KBEX
and signed us up
for the amateur contest.
Amateur contest?
Every Saturday morning.
The first prize is a hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars?
JAN: But before
we can get on the show,
we have to audition our act.
What act?
Well, we can sing a little
and we can dance a little
and Bobby and Cindy
can be cute and charming.
I don't want to be cute.
I don't want to be charming.
Not even to get that platter
for Mom and Dad?
Okay, I'll be cute.
I'll be charming.
Jan, you ding-a-ling,
we got about as much chance
of getting on that show
and winning first prize
and getting the money
as we do of robbing a bank.
Hey!
Forget it.
( Phone rings )
Hello.
Yes, this is me.
Yes, Mr. Sterne.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Bye.
We did it.
We got an audition
for the amateur contest.
( Excited yelling )
Seven, eight,
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
Hi, Dad. Hi.
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, Jan's been having
some trouble with her bike
and we were just going to fix it.
Yeah.
( All talking at once )
This time, I'll ride it.
KIDS: One, two, one,
two, one, two, back. Kick!
One, two, back, one, two.
Ooh! Yeah! Ooh!
And down!
Uh, hey Um
One and two and three
GREG: Four
KIDS: One, two, three and
one, two, three, kick. One, two
GREG: The other leg, Jan.
JAN: Come on, Greg.
GREG: One, two, three
GIRLS: One, two, three,
kick. One, two, three, kick.
Hey, you kids.
What are you doing in there?
GREG: Uh, cleaning the garage.
PETER: Yeah!
Cleaning the garage?
( Up-tempo pop intro )
Think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun's calling my name ♪
I hear you now
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
I think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun knows me by name ♪
He's calling me
I gotta get out,
gotta get out, gotta get away ♪
Got to get away, get away,
get away, get away ♪
Into the sunshine day
Can't you dig the sunshine? ♪
Day ♪
Love and sun are the same
Can't you hear it calling your name? ♪
Oh, I think I'll take
a walk every day, now ♪
The summer sun's shown me
the way to be happy now ♪
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
Can't you dig the sunshine?
Day ♪
Love and sun are the same
Ooh ♪
Can't you hear it calling your name? ♪
I think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun's calling my name ♪
I hear you now
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Okay, that's not bad, kids.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Now, what did you say
your names were again?
I'm Greg and this is Marcia,
Jan, Peter, Bobby and Cindy.
Well, don't you have
a name for the group?
Uh, yeah
Sure
Just call us The Silver Platters.
STERNE: Silver Platters.
Okay, rehearsal's at 10:00
tomorrow morning.
The show's at 11:00.
You mean we're on the show?
You're on.
( Excited shouting )
Hold it, hold it, hold it. Just a minute.
What about costumes?
Costumes?
Well, uh, we haven't had time to get any.
Or any money.
Hmm. Well, I'll tell you what.
We have a wardrobe department
here at the studio.
Why don't you show up
an hour earlier tomorrow morning
and we'll fix you up with something?
Okay, good. Thank you.
Mr. Sterne? Yeah?
Do you think we have any chance
of winning the $100 prize?
Well, sure. Why not?
Oh, great!
Thanks a lot. Bye.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
That's pretty.
Yeah, it's a, uh, mosaic stitch.
It's really very easy.
Oh. Show me how.
Okay.
Hey. What a charming domestic scene.
The family that knits together
fits together.
Ho-ho, that's pretty good
except this isn't knitting.
Well, I couldn't think of
a rhyme for "needlepoint."
( Telephone ringing )
Hello.
Hell, I'd like to speak
to Miss Jan Brady, please.
Uh just a moment, please.
Jan, a gentleman wishes
to converse with you.
A gentleman?
I think it's one of your boyfriends
whose voice is changing.
Hello?
Hello, Miss Brady?
This is Alfred Bailey
at the department store.
The silver salesman.
Oh, hi, Alfie.
Uh, Miss Brady, you were
supposed to bring in
the $56.23 today for
the engraving on your platter.
Have you forgotten?
How could I forget you, Alfie?
Miss Brady, you promised
to make that payment today.
I'm sorry, Alfie, but
I just can't make it today.
I promise
I'll be there tomorrow.
With the payment?
Yes.
We accept cash, you know.
Groovy. It's a date.
Bye.
Who's Alfie?
A new boyfriend?
No, I'd say he was
more of an acquaintance.
Nothing special, huh?
No. After tomorrow, I'll
probably never see him again.
You know that in advance?
I guess I'm fickle.
Where are we all going?
( Screams )
What's everybody doing up so
early on a Saturday morning?
( Nervous chuckle )
Okay, I'll tell ya.
We're going to a football game.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to play,
and they're going to watch.
Yeah, that's right. Right.
Football at this hour?
Uh, we want to get good seats.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Bye. Shh.
( Whispers ): Bye.
Now, why don't I believe them?
( Organ playing ) Well, remember
when Horace broke up with Bianca
to marry Evelyn
only she didn't want to leave Albert
while he was still in the hospital?
Well, Horace just
had a gallbladder attack.
They had to take him to the hospital
and they're putting him
in the same room with Albert.
Now, wait a minute,
I just remembered something.
Horace had his gallbladder out
episodes ago.
Oh!
I've had it with this show.
I'll call you back, Kay.
Bye.
Maybe I can find a rerun
of a rerun I haven't seen.
( Dogs barking )
How about that, folks?
Patty's Prancing Poodles.
And they really registered
on the old applause meter, too.
Now, then, for our final act this morning,
we have six kids
three boys and three girls.
A matched set, you might say.
( laughs )
They call themselves The Silver Platters.
And here they are.
( Applause )
( Up-tempo pop intro )
The Silver Platters?!
The the the that the
Mrs. Brady!
Mrs. Brady, come quick!
The kids are on television!
What kids?
Yours his ours. Come on, quick!
I thought you said they went
to a football game.
That's what I said they said.
Flying down the highway
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
Whoo Yeah Whoo
It's a beautiful morning
And it's gonna be a beautiful day ♪
The wheels are humming,
the guitars strumming ♪
And the radio is blasting,
the good sounds are coming ♪
As I'm flying down the highway
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on
I wonder why didn't they
tell us about this?
Where did they get those costumes?
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
You can hear the music
from 26 miles away ♪
Whoo Yeah
Whoo
Smiling is happy
And happy is here to stay
Shifting on down, coming into town ♪
Waving at the kids all hanging around ♪
Cruising down to Main
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on
Keep on, keep on dancing
all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
( instrumental break )
Gonna keep on, keep on, keep on ♪
Keep on dancing all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on ♪
Keep on dancing all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
( Applause )
Yay. Yeah!
Terrific!
How about that, folks?
The Silver Platters.
Terrific, kids.
Thank you.
In the event you win first prize,
how you gonna divide the $100?
Well, the first $56 goes to the man
at the department store.
Well, that's a pretty big cut
for a guy who didn't even sing.
( laughs )
Well, you see, we bought
a silver platter for our mom
and dad's anniversary and
She thought it was 85 cents
for the whole engraving,
but actually, it was
85 cents for each letter.
And we can't get the platter
'cause we're broke.
STERNE: Oh, well,
good luck, kids. Good luck.
BRADY KIDS: Thank you.
The Silver Platters, folks.
( Applause )
Now, then, let's see how they
did on the old applause meter.
Just a moment, here,
while I check the figures.
Oh, they've just gotta win.
It would be a shame if
they can't give you your gift.
Alice, we just got our gift.
We sure did, honey.
Well, starting with third prize,
this beautiful plaque goes to
The Silver Platters.
Third prize?!
What a gyp!
( Shuts off TV )
That's the last time I ever watch
that crooked channel.
Well, there you are, kids.
Thank you.
As you can see, there's
plenty of room on there.
We'll have all your names engraved on it.
Engraved?
How much do you charge a letter?
( laughs )
Let's let's, let's give
them another big hand,
shall we, folks?
Thanks a lot.
Thank you very much.
( Chuckling )
We did do the best we could do
( all muttering disconsolately )
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
CAROL: Well, hi, kids.
MIKE: Hi, there.
CAROL: Hey, wait a minute.
How was the football game?
Did you win?
We came in third.
Third? That must have
been some football game.
We might as well tell them.
We weren't at a football game.
You see, we wanted to get you a present
for your anniversary
something really special,
but I goofed.
Something special, eh?
You mean
something like this?
The platter! ( All talking excitedly )
Well, your friend Alfie called today
about your breaking your date with him,
so we kept it for you.
You paid for the engraving?!
You mean, we don't
owe them anything? That's great.
Well, we thought it was
the least we could do
after that fine
performance you gave, huh?
You saw the show? How
did you find out about it?!
You were all just terrific.
But we didn't win the $100.
Patty's Prancing Poodles won.
GREG: We lost to a dog act.
I bet we could have won
if we did like they did.
Yeah, what's that?
Sat up and begged
at the audience for applause.
( Imitates dog panting )
( Bobby barking )
Dad?
Mm-hmm?
We just wanted to thank you
for paying for our
present to you and Mom.
Well, I didn't. You
guys paid for the platter.
Yeah, but you paid for the engraving.
And we're going to pay you back.
Well, we'll talk about it
another time, okay?
Really, Dad. We are.
Yeah, maybe this afternoon.
How are you going
to raise $56 by this afternoon?
We got a plan. Mm-hmm.
You see, remember when you told us
about banks and getting loans?
Yeah.
Well, we went to the bank and tried it.
You tried to get a loan?
Yeah, but we couldn't,
because we didn't have any collateral.
But we do now.
What's the collateral?
The silver platter we gave you and Mom.
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
Much more than a hunch
That this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all
Became the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
The Brady Bunch.
Good afternoon, young lady.
May I help you?
Yes. We were in here last week
and we ordered an anniversary gift
for our parents a silver platter.
Silver platter Oh,
yes, the Brady children.
And I came in the next day
and ordered the engraving.
Oh, of course.
You're Jan Brady.
Right. Is it ready?
It just came in this morning.
I'll get it for you.
I'm sure you'll find it
exactly the way you ordered it.
Oh, that's beautiful.
"Mom and Dad, happy anniversary.
All our love, Greg, Marcia,
Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy."
I'm glad you were able to get
all our names on it.
It wasn't easy.
One more brother or sister
and we'd have had to
continue on the back.
( laughing )
I'll get your bill.
Oh, but we've already paid for the platter.
I've got the receipt right here.
This bill is for the engraving.
Remember? I told you
there'd be an extra charge.
Oh, yes, you did. Here's the money.
Okay, here's 50, 60, 70, 85 cents.
This bill is for $56.23.
Well, you said the engraving
was only going to be 85 cents.
85 cents a letter.
Don't you remember?
I guess I wasn't listening very well.
What am I going to do?
I don't have the money
and my parents' anniversary
is next Saturday.
Well, that's still a week away.
Perhaps you can raise
the money by then.
It took us six months
to save up for the platter.
Well, I really don't know
what to do about this.
I don't either, but, until then,
can you hold onto the platter for me?
What else can I do?
Unless I find another couple
who has an anniversary
and six kids named
Greg, Marcia, Peter,
Jan, Bobby and Cindy.
I'm really very sorry.
Not half as sorry as I am.
This whole thing is my fault.
Jan, how could you be so stupid?
Don't you know the difference
between 85 cents a letter
and 85 cents for the whole inscription?
Yeah $56.23.
Nobody told you to order
the engraving in the first place.
I know.
I thought it would look nicer that way.
I wanted to surprise everybody.
Well, you sure did.
Now we won't have a gift
for Saturday for Mom
and Dad's anniversary.
Yeah, but we still have a week
to raise the money.
How? We can't ask
Mom and Dad for a loan.
And who else around here has money?
Except Maybe Alice?
Sure, Alice.
She's always talking about
saving up for a rainy day.
And we're right in the middle
of the hurricane season.
Come on.
What a time
for your picture tube to blow.
( Organ playing on TV )
Now, what she doesn't know
is that Albert is falling
in love with his woman doctor,
who has to support an invalid mother
who just got evicted
from her apartment
And poor Tommy.
He's got to have his tonsils out
and Simon, that's Tommy's
mother's brother-in-law,
won't lend him
the money for the operation.
That cheapskate. What's
a measly hundred dollars?
Oh, Kay, that reminds me.
I had to buy an anniversary
present for the Bradys
and my insurance premium came due.
Yeah, well, payday isn't for two weeks.
I was wondering,
could you lend me a few dollars till then?
Shoot. We need to raise money,
but I guess we can forget about Alice.
Yeah, let's get out of here
before she asks us for a loan.
Couldn't that wait till next week?
I see.
No, no. If it has
to be that way, I understand.
Yeah.
Thanks, Mr. Phillips.
Bye-bye.
Honey, about that honeymoon cottage
you remember the leaky roof
and the lumpy mattress
and the mosquitoes yelling
"Banzai" all night long?
We can't leave on Thursday.
That's right. I have to appear
before the planning commission
on that design for the courthouse.
Honey, I've got a great idea.
What?
For the first time in our marriage,
why don't we have
an anniversary dinner in town
like we always do.
Okay. Listen, I'm hungry.
Yeah. Come on.
Dinner's just about ready.
Dad can I talk to you
about something real important?
Why, sure. Step into my office here.
I hope you don't mind
if my secretary stays around.
She's very reliable.
It's okay. She can listen. Thank you.
Okay, what can I do for you?
Well, what do you do
when a person needs
an awful lot of money real fast?
Well, that depends what
you mean by a lot
a million dollars, thousand 25 cents.
Kind of in between.
Well, we could give you
an advance on your allowance.
Uh, no. We-we didn't say it was for us.
I mean, we know these people
um, who need an awful lot of money.
Fast.
Well, people who need money
usually make a loan from the bank.
Just like that? You get a loan?
Well, sure. That's why
they have loan departments.
Of course, when you borrow money
you have to pay it back, you know.
In fact, you have to pay
back more than you borrowed
because the bank adds on interest.
Can't you borrow extra
so you can pay the interest?
( laughs ): I'm with her.
Thanks, Dad. You've been a lot of help.
Yeah. Oh, well, anytime.
I wonder what they're up to.
Well, the anniversary's coming up.
Maybe they're thinking of a gift?
Yeah, but such high finance?
Borrowing money from a bank?
Maybe they're planning
on paying off the mortgage.
( laughing )
MAN: Yes, and thank you
for calling us in particular, Mrs. Whitfield.
Mm-hmm. Oh, we checked everything.
Yes, your credit, assets, collateral
and regarding your application,
we can loan you $100,000
at eight percent.
Did you hear that?
$100,000 this must be a rich bank.
And friendly, too.
Good-bye, now.
I'm Mr. Goodbody, children.
What can I do for you?
We want to borrow some money
from your rich, friendly bank.
GOODBODY: Oh? Just until Saturday.
And then you'll, uh, pay it back?
No. First we have to pay
the man at the department store.
You see, Cindy and I and
all our brothers and sisters
bought a silver platter
for our mom and dad.
CINDY: And on account
of Jan being stupid,
we owe the department store $56.23.
Including tax.
Uh, I see.
That's why we want
to borrow some money.
Well, when you
take out a loan at a bank,
somebody has to sign for it.
You do it, Cindy.
She got an "A" in penmanship.
Oh, she did?
Then we also have
what we call a cosigner.
Uh, that's another person
who'll be responsible for the loan
in case the signer can't repay it.
That's okay. I'll be the cosigner.
He's very responsible.
Oh, I'm sure.
And then we'll need some collateral.
What's that?
Well, that's something of
real value, you know,
like, uh, jewelry, uh,
real estate, stocks and bonds.
If we had all that stuff,
we wouldn't need the loan.
( Nervous chuckle )
Yes. Well, I'd certainly like
to help you children,
but I'm sure that a loan
isn't possible for you
because of your age.
However, you're two
very charming young people,
and you deserve something
for coming down here.
Here.
Now, if you put all your coins in here,
I'm sure that you'll save enough of them
so that you won't need a loan
and I'm going to start you out
with a dime each.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Uh Mr. Goodbody?
Mm-hmm?
Instead of $56.23,
do you think you could
get us a smaller loan?
A smaller loan?
Yeah, like $56.03.
( laughing )
Greg, did you find any of
the guys who owe you money?
Yeah. Harvey.
He's the one who owes me five bucks.
Well, did he pay you?
Oh, great.
Marcia, how did you do with the watch?
No sale.
Well, what happened?
I thought you said
that Penny was crazy about the watch.
She was, until I told her it was $10.
Then she said I was crazy.
Jan, what have you been doing?
I went down to TV station KBEX
and signed us up
for the amateur contest.
Amateur contest?
Every Saturday morning.
The first prize is a hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars?
JAN: But before
we can get on the show,
we have to audition our act.
What act?
Well, we can sing a little
and we can dance a little
and Bobby and Cindy
can be cute and charming.
I don't want to be cute.
I don't want to be charming.
Not even to get that platter
for Mom and Dad?
Okay, I'll be cute.
I'll be charming.
Jan, you ding-a-ling,
we got about as much chance
of getting on that show
and winning first prize
and getting the money
as we do of robbing a bank.
Hey!
Forget it.
( Phone rings )
Hello.
Yes, this is me.
Yes, Mr. Sterne.
Okay.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Bye.
We did it.
We got an audition
for the amateur contest.
( Excited yelling )
Seven, eight,
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
Hi, Dad. Hi.
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, Jan's been having
some trouble with her bike
and we were just going to fix it.
Yeah.
( All talking at once )
This time, I'll ride it.
KIDS: One, two, one,
two, one, two, back. Kick!
One, two, back, one, two.
Ooh! Yeah! Ooh!
And down!
Uh, hey Um
One and two and three
GREG: Four
KIDS: One, two, three and
one, two, three, kick. One, two
GREG: The other leg, Jan.
JAN: Come on, Greg.
GREG: One, two, three
GIRLS: One, two, three,
kick. One, two, three, kick.
Hey, you kids.
What are you doing in there?
GREG: Uh, cleaning the garage.
PETER: Yeah!
Cleaning the garage?
( Up-tempo pop intro )
Think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun's calling my name ♪
I hear you now
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
I think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun knows me by name ♪
He's calling me
I gotta get out,
gotta get out, gotta get away ♪
Got to get away, get away,
get away, get away ♪
Into the sunshine day
Can't you dig the sunshine? ♪
Day ♪
Love and sun are the same
Can't you hear it calling your name? ♪
Oh, I think I'll take
a walk every day, now ♪
The summer sun's shown me
the way to be happy now ♪
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
Can't you dig the sunshine?
Day ♪
Love and sun are the same
Ooh ♪
Can't you hear it calling your name? ♪
I think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪
The summer sun's calling my name ♪
I hear you now
I just can't stay inside all day ♪
I gotta get out,
get me some of those rays ♪
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Everybody's laughing
Sunshine day
Everybody seems so happy today ♪
It's a sunshine day
Everybody's smiling
Sunshine day
Okay, that's not bad, kids.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Now, what did you say
your names were again?
I'm Greg and this is Marcia,
Jan, Peter, Bobby and Cindy.
Well, don't you have
a name for the group?
Uh, yeah
Sure
Just call us The Silver Platters.
STERNE: Silver Platters.
Okay, rehearsal's at 10:00
tomorrow morning.
The show's at 11:00.
You mean we're on the show?
You're on.
( Excited shouting )
Hold it, hold it, hold it. Just a minute.
What about costumes?
Costumes?
Well, uh, we haven't had time to get any.
Or any money.
Hmm. Well, I'll tell you what.
We have a wardrobe department
here at the studio.
Why don't you show up
an hour earlier tomorrow morning
and we'll fix you up with something?
Okay, good. Thank you.
Mr. Sterne? Yeah?
Do you think we have any chance
of winning the $100 prize?
Well, sure. Why not?
Oh, great!
Thanks a lot. Bye.
Hi.
Hi, honey.
That's pretty.
Yeah, it's a, uh, mosaic stitch.
It's really very easy.
Oh. Show me how.
Okay.
Hey. What a charming domestic scene.
The family that knits together
fits together.
Ho-ho, that's pretty good
except this isn't knitting.
Well, I couldn't think of
a rhyme for "needlepoint."
( Telephone ringing )
Hello.
Hell, I'd like to speak
to Miss Jan Brady, please.
Uh just a moment, please.
Jan, a gentleman wishes
to converse with you.
A gentleman?
I think it's one of your boyfriends
whose voice is changing.
Hello?
Hello, Miss Brady?
This is Alfred Bailey
at the department store.
The silver salesman.
Oh, hi, Alfie.
Uh, Miss Brady, you were
supposed to bring in
the $56.23 today for
the engraving on your platter.
Have you forgotten?
How could I forget you, Alfie?
Miss Brady, you promised
to make that payment today.
I'm sorry, Alfie, but
I just can't make it today.
I promise
I'll be there tomorrow.
With the payment?
Yes.
We accept cash, you know.
Groovy. It's a date.
Bye.
Who's Alfie?
A new boyfriend?
No, I'd say he was
more of an acquaintance.
Nothing special, huh?
No. After tomorrow, I'll
probably never see him again.
You know that in advance?
I guess I'm fickle.
Where are we all going?
( Screams )
What's everybody doing up so
early on a Saturday morning?
( Nervous chuckle )
Okay, I'll tell ya.
We're going to a football game.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to play,
and they're going to watch.
Yeah, that's right. Right.
Football at this hour?
Uh, we want to get good seats.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Bye. Shh.
( Whispers ): Bye.
Now, why don't I believe them?
( Organ playing ) Well, remember
when Horace broke up with Bianca
to marry Evelyn
only she didn't want to leave Albert
while he was still in the hospital?
Well, Horace just
had a gallbladder attack.
They had to take him to the hospital
and they're putting him
in the same room with Albert.
Now, wait a minute,
I just remembered something.
Horace had his gallbladder out
episodes ago.
Oh!
I've had it with this show.
I'll call you back, Kay.
Bye.
Maybe I can find a rerun
of a rerun I haven't seen.
( Dogs barking )
How about that, folks?
Patty's Prancing Poodles.
And they really registered
on the old applause meter, too.
Now, then, for our final act this morning,
we have six kids
three boys and three girls.
A matched set, you might say.
( laughs )
They call themselves The Silver Platters.
And here they are.
( Applause )
( Up-tempo pop intro )
The Silver Platters?!
The the the that the
Mrs. Brady!
Mrs. Brady, come quick!
The kids are on television!
What kids?
Yours his ours. Come on, quick!
I thought you said they went
to a football game.
That's what I said they said.
Flying down the highway
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
Whoo Yeah Whoo
It's a beautiful morning
And it's gonna be a beautiful day ♪
The wheels are humming,
the guitars strumming ♪
And the radio is blasting,
the good sounds are coming ♪
As I'm flying down the highway
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on
I wonder why didn't they
tell us about this?
Where did they get those costumes?
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
You can hear the music
from 26 miles away ♪
Whoo Yeah
Whoo
Smiling is happy
And happy is here to stay
Shifting on down, coming into town ♪
Waving at the kids all hanging around ♪
Cruising down to Main
in a makeshift Model T-A ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on
Keep on, keep on dancing
all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
( instrumental break )
Gonna keep on, keep on, keep on ♪
Keep on dancing all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on moving ♪
Gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on grooving ♪
Keep on singing and dancing
all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on,
keep on, keep on ♪
Keep on dancing all through the night ♪
We're gonna keep on, keep on,
keep on doing it right ♪
( Applause )
Yay. Yeah!
Terrific!
How about that, folks?
The Silver Platters.
Terrific, kids.
Thank you.
In the event you win first prize,
how you gonna divide the $100?
Well, the first $56 goes to the man
at the department store.
Well, that's a pretty big cut
for a guy who didn't even sing.
( laughs )
Well, you see, we bought
a silver platter for our mom
and dad's anniversary and
She thought it was 85 cents
for the whole engraving,
but actually, it was
85 cents for each letter.
And we can't get the platter
'cause we're broke.
STERNE: Oh, well,
good luck, kids. Good luck.
BRADY KIDS: Thank you.
The Silver Platters, folks.
( Applause )
Now, then, let's see how they
did on the old applause meter.
Just a moment, here,
while I check the figures.
Oh, they've just gotta win.
It would be a shame if
they can't give you your gift.
Alice, we just got our gift.
We sure did, honey.
Well, starting with third prize,
this beautiful plaque goes to
The Silver Platters.
Third prize?!
What a gyp!
( Shuts off TV )
That's the last time I ever watch
that crooked channel.
Well, there you are, kids.
Thank you.
As you can see, there's
plenty of room on there.
We'll have all your names engraved on it.
Engraved?
How much do you charge a letter?
( laughs )
Let's let's, let's give
them another big hand,
shall we, folks?
Thanks a lot.
Thank you very much.
( Chuckling )
We did do the best we could do
( all muttering disconsolately )
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
CAROL: Well, hi, kids.
MIKE: Hi, there.
CAROL: Hey, wait a minute.
How was the football game?
Did you win?
We came in third.
Third? That must have
been some football game.
We might as well tell them.
We weren't at a football game.
You see, we wanted to get you a present
for your anniversary
something really special,
but I goofed.
Something special, eh?
You mean
something like this?
The platter! ( All talking excitedly )
Well, your friend Alfie called today
about your breaking your date with him,
so we kept it for you.
You paid for the engraving?!
You mean, we don't
owe them anything? That's great.
Well, we thought it was
the least we could do
after that fine
performance you gave, huh?
You saw the show? How
did you find out about it?!
You were all just terrific.
But we didn't win the $100.
Patty's Prancing Poodles won.
GREG: We lost to a dog act.
I bet we could have won
if we did like they did.
Yeah, what's that?
Sat up and begged
at the audience for applause.
( Imitates dog panting )
( Bobby barking )
Dad?
Mm-hmm?
We just wanted to thank you
for paying for our
present to you and Mom.
Well, I didn't. You
guys paid for the platter.
Yeah, but you paid for the engraving.
And we're going to pay you back.
Well, we'll talk about it
another time, okay?
Really, Dad. We are.
Yeah, maybe this afternoon.
How are you going
to raise $56 by this afternoon?
We got a plan. Mm-hmm.
You see, remember when you told us
about banks and getting loans?
Yeah.
Well, we went to the bank and tried it.
You tried to get a loan?
Yeah, but we couldn't,
because we didn't have any collateral.
But we do now.
What's the collateral?
The silver platter we gave you and Mom.