Young Sheldon (2017) s04e17 Episode Script

[adult Sheldon] Previously on
Young Sheldon
Dr. Sturgis will be joining us
for dinner.
I thought he was in the nuthouse.
We do not call it that.
That's what Dad calls it.
I don't think we should be
in a romantic relationship anymore.
Are you crazy?
I mean, poor choice of words,
but are you crazy?
Did you know there's a super collider
being built in Waxahachie, Texas?
No.
I've taken a job there.
Well, I hope that you're ready
to hear him freak out when you tell him.
A supercollider?
Well, you can't say no to that.
I give up.
Ooh, can you get me a bumper sticker?
[adult Sheldon]
I never cared for surprises.
My Meemaw, on the other hand,
thought they were a hoot.
And it's a good thing
because instead of finding
the paper on her doorstep, she found
- [doorbell chimes]
- [exclaims]
What are you doing here?
I wanted to surprise you.
Mission accomplished.
Oh, good.
So, how's everything going
with your supercollider?
Well, up until Wednesday at 6:43,
wonderful.
What happened at 6:43?
That's when they fired me.
What? Why did they fire you?
Uh, probably because of what happened
at 6:14.
So, Dr. Sturgis, what would you say
to local residents
who are concerned about
the supercollider's safety?
Is there a chance that Waxahachie
could be the next Chernobyl?
[chuckles] Absolutely not.
The supercollider is very different
from a nuclear power plant.
This can't melt down.
The worst it could do would be
to create a microscopic black hole.
And what would that do?
Well, it's unlikely, but, uh
It could grow until it swallowed up
the entire Earth and possibly, the Moon.
Next question.
[theme song playing]
Do you really think your supercollider
could make a black hole?
There is about
a one in a trillion chance it could.
Friendly advice,
next time somebody asks you
if your work could destroy the world,
just say, "No."
I'm not sure
there's going to be a next time.
What do you mean?
I've been doing science all my life,
and it's time for something else.
Like what?
Maybe scrimshaw.
That's carving art into whale bone.
You really want to spend your day
carving a whale bone?
I don't know what else I'd do with it.
Well, come on, you're a scientist.
This is just silly.
Connie, I'm 72,
and just lost my dream job.
Right now, uh,
I think I need to, uh, take a step back.
The Texan in me wants to say,
get back on the horse.
But I won't.
It's so exciting he's back.
How did he look?
The same.
Good, I was afraid
he might have shrunk more.
Although maybe you both shrunk
and you couldn't tell.
Hey, I'm still taller than you,
so watch it.
It'll be great to have him
back at the university.
Actually, it doesn't sound like
he's going back.
Why not?
He's a little upset about getting fired
and says he's ready for a change.
An old person trying something new?
That's funny.
You'll be old one day too, pal.
I already don't like new things,
bring it on.
Why would I re-hire him?
He just caused a panic
about the supercollider.
They say, "There's no such thing
as bad publicity."
That's a quote from P. T. Barnum.
I don't care.
Do you care that
the "P" stood for Phineas?
No.
Then I won't tell you
what the "T" stood for.
Great.
Taylor.
Sheldon, Dr. Sturgis quit
right before the semester started.
He left me in the lurch.
And this is your chance to be
the bigger person.
I don't want to be the bigger person.
I'll be the small, petty person,
that's way more fun.
Please?
It would make me really happy
if he came back.
And you said yourself, my happiness
is important to the university.
Are you trying to manipulate me?
Hey, being small and petty is fun.
Anyway, Dr. Sturgis, we'd love
to have you back here. [chuckles]
What do you mean, other job?
What other job?
[Dr. Sturgis] Hi, Mary.
Hey, John. What are you doing here?
Well, I lost my job.
So while I'm figuring things out,
I'm a bag boy.
Although at my age,
"boy" is pushing it. [chuckles]
Aren't you a little overqualified?
Very.
Hey, why don't you join us
for dinner this weekend?
Sheldon would love to see you.
Oh, that'd be wonderful.
[employee] Cleanup on aisle two.
That's me.
Madge, can you finish up here?
I have a date with a mop.
He's really smart.
Thanks for inviting John
to dinner tonight.
Oh, my pleasure.
I've been a little bit
worried about him,
you know, with what happened last time.
At least he didn't seem unstable
when I talked to him.
The man has a doctorate in science,
and he's filling people's grocery bags.
He actually did a really nice job.
He put the heavy things on the bottom.
He kept the cold things together.
Mary.
Well, they don't always do that.
I just hate to see him
give up like this.
Who're you talking about?
Dr. Sturgis.
[Missy] What'd he give up?
Science.
He's working at the grocery store.
At least he didn't give up being weird.
He is also coming over for dinner,
so behave yourself.
I can behave at school
or I can behave at home.
Can't do both.
Well, it's so wonderful to see you all.
Thank you for having me.
It's great to see you, too.
And Mary, I believe
I recognize these Tater Tots
from when I packed them in your bag.
You're killing me.
So you work at the grocery store now?
I do.
Just out of curiosity,
would you say I look 21?
Mmm, I suppose.
And what nights do you work again?
He's not selling you beer.
Well, of course not.
I can't believe they would fire you
just for mentioning
a theory about black holes.
It's just as well.
Maybe it was time this old horse
was put out to pasture.
Don't say that, you're not old.
- He's not?
- No.
- But look at his bald
- Eat your peas.
I can't understand why you wouldn't want
to come back to the university.
Science is a young man's game.
But we could work on something together.
If you average out our ages,
we're a lean, mean,
forty one and a half.
Still too old to be bagging groceries.
I know it's unorthodox,
but I'm enjoying it.
[warning siren wailing]
Tornado this time of year?
There's not a cloud in the sky.
Information is still coming in,
but a black hole has been detected in
Waxahachie, Texas.
Oh, my Lord.
Sources report it was caused by
the super collider.
The black hole is growing
exponentially across Texas,
destroying everything in its path.
This is an emergency situation.
Repeat.
This is an emergency situation
John, what do we do?
There's nothing we can do.
He's right. It's going to create
a gravitational field
that will consume everything around it.
Should we evacuate?
We can't. We could never outrun it.
Well, how much time do we have?
Minutes at best.
- Daddy, I'm scared.
- It's okay, baby.
We need to pray right now.
You do that. I'm having a beer.
Oh, everybody hold hands.
Heavenly Father, watch over us
I don't want to spend my last moments
on Earth praying.
Yeah, if we only got a few minutes left,
I want to spend it talking to y'all.
You were all the light of my life
and I love you so much.
[explosion]
Daddy.
Oh, I got you.
I'm not letting go.
I never said it enough,
but I love y'all.
Kids, you have made me
a very proud father.
I'm not ready.
There's so many things I want to do.
Well, you better pick one right now.
Okay, um
I just want to say I'm sorry
for every time I was bad
and any time I was mean to Sheldon.
It's okay.
It's just so funny when he's upset.
But I'm still sorry about it.
I'm sorry, too.
Dad, I've been awful,
especially to you.
- No, you haven't.
- I have.
Well, we're good.
Okay, we are done talking.
I love you all,
but it is really time to pray.
[all] Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done,
on Earth as it is in heaven.
Is that really what would happen
if there was a black hole?
One of the possibilities.
Are they all such a bummer?
Not necessarily.
There's a theory that an event like that
could open a wormhole
into an alternate universe.
So, what goes on in
an alternate universe?
Anything, really.
It could be slightly different
from this one or the complete opposite.
That's true.
So, if a black hole transports us
to an alternate universe,
would we even know it?
[Dr. Sturgis, in Texan accent]
Probably not.
To us, it'd be as normal as
boots on a cowboy.
That is wild.
Dr. Sturgis is correct.
If indeed we grew up
in another universe,
our sense of normality
would be formed by that universe.
That's enough.
There are no other universes.
The Bible tells us God created
the "Earth," not the "Earths."
Ugh, why did I have to marry a preacher?
Because it was God's will
to bless us with union.
I hope it's His plan
that I hit the clubs tonight,
because that's going to happen.
Why am I the only normal one
in this family?
If you're the only normal one,
statistically speaking, you're abnormal.
[chuckles] Freak.
Stop picking on him.
You're going to give him a complex
and he'll end up in therapy.
You New Yorkers and your therapy.
Only therapy I ever got
was on my backside from Pappy's belt.
Oh, spanking. That's hot.
I think you should all be in therapy.
All the answers I need are right here.
Hey, I know what will make
this family happy.
A puppy.
Animals are excellent
for emotional support.
Only thing I need for emotional support
is a warm shotgun and a cold beer.
This guy knows how to party.
You seem to be interested
in this alternative universe thing.
Maybe that's something
you could work on.
Maybe there's another universe
where I'm already doing that.
Sure.
But maybe you could do it in both.
[chuckles]
What are you getting at?
Just that instead of wasting your time
bagging groceries,
you could be working
on something worthwhile.
There's nothing wrong with me
trying something new.
But you've got a PhD,
you're the smartest person here.
- Well
- Connie.
I'm happy doing
what I'm doing right now.
I don't believe that.
Excuse me?
You know more about
how I should live my life than I do?
Yeah, maybe.
May I speak with you outside?
John, I'm sorry. I don't mean to push,
but I just I worry about you.
You do?
Of course.
You know I care about you.
That means a lot.
The truth is, if I could live
in an alternate universe,
I'd live in one where we never broke up.
I hope it's okay to say that.
It is. Because I wish it, too.
Oh, Connie.
John.
- John? John?
- Huh?
If you could live in
an alternate universe,
what would it be?
Well, I haven't really given it
any thought.
Another theory of black holes
involves Hawking radiation.
Right. Near the event horizon,
virtual particles are being created.
Actually, twin virtual particles.
Wait. What's an event horizon?
It just means the edge.
Why not say "the edge?"
The guitar player for U2
is called The Edge.
What does that have to do with anything?
I'm participating in the conversation,
you're just sitting there like a lump.
[snorts] Lump.
Anyway,
ordinarily, the particles would collide
and destroy each other.
But in this instance,
they could exist simultaneously.
What is the significance of that?
I can participate, smart ass.
Good job, lump.
One interpretation would be
if I was standing at the event horizon,
I could interact with my own twin.
I've interacted with you,
it's not great.
I think if there were two of me,
we'd be unstoppable.
So, if we add the information entropy
we'll get the result we're looking for.
That's brilliant.
I had a feeling you'd like it.
That's what the back of my head
looks like, nice.
We'll call it the Cooper-Cooper Theorem.
Perfect. Wait.
Which Cooper comes first?
This Cooper.
Why you?
I'm the original.
You're just my twin.
Don't say it like you're better than me,
we're exactly the same.
I don't appreciate
your condescending tone.
It's your tone. We're the same person.
If we're the same person,
why are you so annoying?
- Stop it.
- You stop it.
What are you going to do about it?
I don't know.
I've never been in a fight before.
Well, you're about to be.
This is ridiculous. Are you done?
Not even close,
then Sheldon One grabs Sheldon Two.
[screaming]
Ow, ow, my eyes, my eyes!
Are you okay?
I am now.
Okay, enough.
That's how you participate.
Thank you for walking me home.
It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Although, to be honest,
if we were attacked,
I'd be counting on you
to get us out of it.
[Meemaw chuckles]
- John.
- Yeah?
You doing okay?
Well, getting fired was tough,
but I'm glad to be back here in town.
I'm glad you're back, too.
But if you feel yourself slipping again,
promise me you'll get some help.
I promise.
Oh, good. I worry about you.
You do?
Of course.
That means a lot.
Well, this is me.
Guess I'll be seeing you
next time you go shopping.
[chuckles] I'll look forward to it.
Connie?
Yeah?
Tuesdays are double coupons.
Good to know. [chuckles]
[adult Sheldon] We often regret
the things we don't say.
There's a lot of things I wish I had
said to my dad while he was around.
That I appreciated him,
that I loved him.
Which is why I'm grateful for the times
I did tell him how I felt.
Tonight was fun.
Yeah, why was that?
Dr. Sturgis was here,
everybody talked about science.
It was nice.
It was.
How are you?
You got ID?
Yeah.
Dang it.
I must have left it
in my wife's minivan.
I can't sell this to you.
I'm 21, I swear.
- You can ask Dr. Sturgis.
- Who?
The old guy over there. Dr. Sturgis?
Hey.
Never mind.
[theme music playing]